Hey folks! First of all, big apologies for those who were a little confused by the last one-shot! I revised and re-uploaded it to make everything clearer. Thanks to Karts of Sugar Rush for helping me out with the process.

And another thanks goes out to Kraven the Hunter for supplying the suggestion that led to this two-parter. Thank you so much! This was such a blast to write.

And as usual, I hope you all enjoy! - SGA

In just a few short hours most of Gravity Falls would be gathered at the entrance of Northwest Manor and excitedly clamoring to get in for the annual shindig-ball-soiree. And as soon as the clock struck six, the front gates would be welcomingly thrown open wide for all who wanted to come in. It had been the new tradition ever since Pacifica had taken control of the Northwest fortune and estate, and so instead of an exclusive gathering of elites, it was now a town-sized party for everyone to come to and enjoy. She felt that it was the very least she could do to as part of her ongoing efforts to redeem her family name.

As to be expected, organizing such a massive gala always required an equally massive amount of her time and energy, and of course set-up never went to plan. However, at least she could always rely on one clan's help when things inevitably went awry.

"...C'mon, in you go! Let's go, let's go! Move those fluffy butts!" Mabel Pines whooped to the pack of sheep crowding back into the outdoor pen, all expertly herded in by her energetic three-and-a-half-year-olds. Finn and Gladys bounded about barking like a pair of dogs as they chased the stragglers.

"Dude, c'mon." Wendy laughed, taking up the rear with her baby in one arm and an old ewe in the other. Her husband groaned as he hauled along two reluctant goats by the horns.

"W-we're almost ther-OW! Hey! OW!" Dipper's prisoners stopped dragging their hooves and tried their luck headbutting him in the legs. Eventually his little niece and nephew had to come to his aid, but eventually the last two escapees were locked up with the rest.

Pacifica Northwest had watched the entire spectacle, and when they were finished she was gratitude personified. "Oh my God, thank you guys so much! I have no idea how their gate got open. One moment they were there, and the next they were just running around all over the-"

"Oh don't worry, we're always happy to help!" Mabel wrapped an arm around her shoulders and the blonde allowed herself to be lovingly crunched tight. "Need a hand with anything else?"

"No, you guys have done more than enough." She decided after taking a quick scan of the grounds. "You can start getting ready now. Oooh, wait, wait, just a second!"

Suddenly she was a blonde blur. Pacifica retreated into her enormous home and returned in a flash, her arms loaded with several obviously brand new party outfits.

"Oh, yowza!" Mabel marveled over her new dress with an ecstatic whoop.

"Thanks!" Wendy was very happily surprised until she laid eyes on the matching high heels that came with her gift. Their friend however was watching hopefully like an overexcited child, with clasped hands tightly as she bounded on the balls of her feet. The redhead hurriedly forced her faltering smile smile right back up. "Uh...thanks."

"Pacifica, you didn't have to do this." Dipper tried thanking her as he accepted his new suit.

"Trust me, it's the least I could do. Every year you guys…." The gratitude on their faces (half-faked in the case of Wendy) had sent her so aflutter that she soon became a little overwhelmed. Thanks to her upbringing, emotional displays of any sort still didn't come very smoothly for her. "You know, if anyone could spare a couple bucks for it, it's me. So...yeah, it's nothing."

Pacifica was still grinning fit to burst as she slipped off inside to tend to several pre-party preparations. "Look, I need to check when the band's coming, but I'll let you know if I need anything else. Pick any bathroom you want to change!"

It was with an enormous sigh that Mabel wistfully watched the blonde giddily vanish from sight.

"You okay, Mabes?" Wendy noticed.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I was just thinking about…." She looked over her new dress and her heart went out to her friend. "Pacifica's always just so excited when we're up here. But when the summer's over, she's going to be all…."

The hyper-empathetic woman sighed again. It was a thought that hung heavily over her whenever they headed home at the end of each summer break.

"I know." Her twin admitted sympathetically. "She probably gets a little lonely when we're not around."

"C'mon has to have some other friends up here." Wendy cooley reassured, but the looks on the twins' faces suggested otherwise. "Wait...doesn't she?"

"No one that she's close to as she is with us. No good friends, no non-crazy family…." Mabel huffed indignantly, "And worst of all, not even a boyfriend! I mean, talk about the crime of the century! Just look at what a catch she is! A huge heart, gorgeous looks, she spends all her time fundraising for like, a million different charities….if anyone deserves at least one nice guy to take her out for a fancy dinner, then….

As Dipper watched the inspired smile curl across her face, he instantly guessed where her mind was going. "Ohhhhh no. Mabel-"

"I bet with all the people that are going to be here tonight, there has to be at least a couple eligible bachelors…." She brightened up.

"No. Not tonight. You're not going to-"

"Why not? The whole situation is just screaming for…." In one movement she hurled her sweater up over her head, revealing a sparkly M-emblazoned shirt underneath. "A matchmaker!"

"So….do you have that on because you knew you were going to say all that, or…" Wendy bewilderedly asked.

"Happy coincidence! The M also stands for Mabel, Mabel the Magnificent, Mighty Mom, and Mama Mabes." She clarified. "It's just a good all-purpose shirt to wear."

"Okay, ignoring all that…." Dipper steered things back from the derail. "Just because she's single doesn't mean that she needs a boyfriend right this very second. I mean, isn't that what you say about yourself?"

She recalled the conversation they had a few months back with a smile. "Totally different cases, bro-bro. In case you forgot, a boyfriend for Mabel would just be a cherry on top of my nice big family sundae."

Mabel cast a quick adoring glance over to her little ones, who were very busily petting a friendly lamb. "I'm super set. But Pacifica doesn't have anyone. Anyone! It's a total clear-cut case. She needs at least someone to-"

"I really think you should hold off a little." Her brother objected.

"More like hold on a lot!" She enthusiastically retorted.

"...What?"

"Okay, not sure where I was going with that. But you get it, don't you? She deserves a good guy, and she deserved one yesterday!"

"Mabel, c'mon." Dipper wouldn't let up. "Look, can we please just get through the party before you think about this anymore?"

"But I-"

"Please?"

Mabel rolled her eyes, but then planted on the sweetest of smiles as she backed down. "Okay, okay….no matchmaking tonight…."

Night had fallen, the gates were opened, and the festivities were in full swing. The main hall was packed as all manner of town residents danced themselves silly to the live music or enjoyed a neverending supply of refreshments.

Slinking on the edge of the cavernous room, a young woman was hard at work. Carefully she scouted out every single available-looking bachelor she could, pausing every now and then to scribble her findings in a notepad.

"...Oooohh, maybe that guy over there….nice trimmed beard, looks pretty put together…." She jotted 'Beardface' into her list, only to have the misfortune of watching him pick something from his facial hair and pop it into his mouth. With a shudder she hurriedly crossed him out. "Nope, gross. Okay, how about….no, no….let's see….nuh-uh, that guy's the mayor of Pit Stain-ville. Who else, whoooo else….hmmmm….I wonder…."

While she mulled, her incredibly uncomfortable sister-in-law exited the dance floor, hobbling ungracefully on her sore feet.

"Hey Ma-" She was saved from a nasty stumble thanks to Mabel's speedy catch.

"Whoops, I gotcha Wen-Wen!"

"Thanks." She adjusted one of the cursed but assuredly expensive new shoes and grimaced. Oh how she wished this pair of torment devices weren't a gift. "Okay, which way to the drinks table?"

"Oh, it's by the…." A thought crossed Mabel's mind. "Sayyyy….are any of your brothers here?"

Wendy took one look into the eager brunette's eyes and was immediately suspicious. However the conversation was ended prematurely by a pair of three-year-olds. They zipped out from the crowd and latched themselves tightly onto their aunt.

"Aunt Wenny, where'd you go?"

"Dance with us! Dance with us!"

"We're not done yet!"

"Come back?"

"Please?"

"Pleeeeeeeeaaase?"

"Hold on, I just need a quick…." Wendy's resistance crumbled beneath their puppy-dog eyes. The dutiful aunt readjusted her footwear, took a deep breath, and let them lead her back out. "Okay...how about you guys keep dancing and I watch-"

"Nope! EVERYONE dances!" Her nephew's cheer made her groan despondently.

"Okay, have funnnnn! Oh, wait! Glad-Glad!" One of her little agents zipped back over and stood at eager attention. "What's the report from the dance floor?"

"Handsome guy oveh theah!" She lisped and pointed. Her mother pat her head and added the fellow to the list.

"Good job! Have fun with your Aunt Wenny! Oh, and let me know if you see any of her bro-bros!" She waved Gladys off and peeled her eyes for burly redheaded men. She was so focused searching for Corduroys, that she didn't spot the young man striding towards her. Before she knew it her brother was right by her side, with his daughter in his arms and an annoyed scowl stretched on his face.

"I thought we agreed on no matchmaking tonight." Dipper busted her on the spot and sent his startled twin scrambling for an excuse.

"I'm not! I'm…..uh…I'm...I'm just..."

"I've been watching you lurk around for the past five minutes."

"I'm only taking down a couple names! It's not like I'm gonna vet anyone later." Right on cue she accidentally dropped the folder tucked under her arm, sending several papers spilling. She chuckled weakly into her brother's disapproving glare "Those are unrelated."

Dipper picked one up and wasn't surprised at all to see that it was an incredibly detailed dating questionnaire. "'Rate how good of a listener you are on a scale of 1 to 15….what's more romantic, a trip to the beach or a bicycle ride for two, explain in two paragraphs or less...what would you rather gift as a gift on a third date, a bouquet of flowers or a box of puppies…..are you, or have you ever been a bunch of disguised gnomes standing on top of each other's shoulders, Jeff? Name your three favorite shades of...' oh c'mon!"

"I haven't even screened one person yet!" She defended herself.

"That doesn't matter." He kept her folder. "You're not doing this now."

"But Dipper-"

"Later. For now, just...just have fun. Enjoy the party! Enjoy…" He looked around. "Anything. There's like twenty different things you can do just in this room besides this."

"Okay….." Mabel pretended to give in. Just as he let down his guard, she licked her palms and clapped them against the sides of his face. It was an old tactic of hers from when they were kids; gross, but just as effective as ever. "Tidal wave!"

"MABEL!" While he became distracted from disgust she speedily relieved him of her quizzes, paused, and decided to snatch Phoebe away as well.

"Yes! Got an extra little helper now too!" She triumphantly cheered, and in a flash she had raced from his sight to the far side of the room. "Who wants to hang out with her Aunt May-May?"

The baby gurgled excitedly at her aunt's smiling face. She continued on her quest, and as she browsed the partygoers she chattered to her little niece all the while.

"That guy? Nah….how about….no, no…...how about him? By the chocolate fountain?" Phoebe gazed up wordlessly and her aunt scoffed. "You're right, what am I thinking? No way. Hmmmm….there's gotta be someone here that's good enough for….Pa...cif….wow."

Then she saw him. Halfway across the packed room, a drink in one hand, casting a casual gaze out over the crowd. Mabel froze and marveled at the fantastically gorgeous fellow. Perfectly groomed locks shimmering like freshly made gourmet milk chocolate, piercing blue eyes that reminded one of a clear summer day, a finely chiseled face so smooth and clean, all of which was set atop a well-sculpted body. He was like a work of art come to life.

"...Razzle dazzle." She whispered in breathless awe. Mabel cautiously stood back and observed, just in case he was too good to be true. But her sharp eyes didn't see wedding ring on his finger, and she could detect no no spouse or partner hovering nearby. As far as she could tell, he didn't seem to be with anyone.

"Bye bye!" The matchmaker promptly hurled all her questionnaires out the nearest window without a second thought. She had no idea who this incredibly striking fellow was, but something told her that she could easily give him a free pass straight to round two. Mabel bounced right on over without a second thought.

"Well hello there! What's a guy like you doing all alone?"

Although she had popped up to him from out of the blue he didn't even bat an eyelid. Instead he merely flashed a wonderfully warm smile as he asked back playfully, "Are you asking for a 'friend.'?"

Mabel felt a surge of heat rush to her face, and immediately she was stricken with the giggles. Her niece however wasn't as receptive. Phoebe took one look and hid under the crook of her aunt's shoulder with a whimper.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He graciously chuckled it right off. "Just joking! Just joking!"

Mabel mentally jotted all the wonderful details as fast as she good. Comfortingly good-humored? Check. Laughter that was music to one's ears? Check. And his breath….actually, it smelled a little funky, if she had to be honest. Kind of like the seafood section of a grocery store. Nobody was perfect though. She'd give him a breath mint later before she made introductions to her lucky, lucky friend.

"Don't worry, Phoebe here always gets suspicious of new people. You take after your daddy, don't you? Hmmm? Don't you?" She cooed. "Aw, she'll be fine. Anyway, I'm Mabel! And it's funny that you asked about a friend because boy, do I have an opportunity for you….now let's see, where...ah! See that gal over there? The total knockout beauty in the purple dress, right there? Okay, soooo….

It took ten minutes for her to finish her passionate pitch. "...And a guy like you would have to be absolutely out of your mind to come all the way to a shindig like this and not at least say hi to her! What do you say?"

"Wow." He didn't appear to mind in the least that she had just chattered his ear off. In fact, he seemed quite impressed. "I have to say, it sounds like she has it all."

"Ohhhh, I'm just barely scratching the surface here!" Mabel boasted. Meanwhile, the baby continued to squirm unhappily in her arms, as if the distrustful little thing was trying to bury herself away. "Shhh, calm down, sweetie! Be nice..."

"Well, you've convinced me." He announced. That was fast. Mabel's heart snag with triumph.

"Great! Just follow me, and I'll introduce you to….oops! Sorry! Here I've been blabbing my mouth off this whole time and I haven't even gotten your name yet!" She laughed.

"Oh don't worry." He chuckled reassuringly. "It doesn't really matter that much. I'll be out of here with my new bride in….probably shouldn't take me much longer than ten, fifteen minutes."

"Haha! Oh, well let's not get too far ahead of ourselves!" She giggled.

"Excuse me?" He asked politely. His puzzled expression made it pretty clear that it was no joke. The laughter immediately died on her lips. There was definitely something off here.

"Uhhh….hold on….are you serious, or-"

"Let's be honest. If even half of what you told me about her is true, I'd be a fool to say no to a wife like that." He flashed her an appreciative grin. "Thanks so much for the recommendation!"

Like magic she became completely lost in his charming smile. She was so hypnotized by his gleaming pearly whites that by the time she returned to the present, the mystery bachelor was long gone. An incredible sense of dread now weighed heavily on her chest. She looked down to her baby niece and swallowed hard.

"I think you might have had the right idea…."