The CEO's office at Merlyn Global hadn't changed since the last time Tommy had seen it. There had been a time where the board had appointed a CEO, but as soon as he appeared alive and capable, the reins were handed over to him. Tommy thought that was a big mistake, but his father was good at placing plans in writing and having them legalized ahead of time. Like Robert Queen, his father, had always hoped that his son would take up his mantle as CEO of his company. There was a time that Tommy Merlyn would have loved the gaudy office, but now it was like stepping into a jail cell.

Tommy knew what his father's legacy was. It certainly wasn't him, even though he was certain that his father was trying to push that now. Everyone else knew Malcolm Merlyn was a murderer and someone who tried to destroy the Glades and pretty much succeeded. Tommy knew that the world would never know the other sides his father had played in his life, the darker and the rare lighter ones. In history, you were always remembered for either your greatest or darkest moments. For his father, it was definitely the more mass-wide darkest moment.

He hated being CEO of Merlyn Global, which was probably why the merger was so appealing to him. They had to wait, though, and Tommy was finding that hard. He hated his job, he felt isolated for the majority of the day, and he was fairly sure that he was depressed. Tommy would go to Verdant or down to the Foundry and watch the others and they'd all seem so much happier than he was. He'd always thought that Felicity had been dealt the harder hand, but she had Oliver...he didn't have a constant companion.

Motivations behind him becoming CEO of the company had been clear that his father had wanted the company to stay in the family, but was it something more? Everyday Tommy wondered if it was a way for his father to try to mold him into someone else...someone his father could be proud of...someone who looked more like Malcolm Merlyn. He wasn't his father and he never would be. He'd kill himself if he ever looked in the mirror and his father was looking back at him. He wouldn't bring horrors on this world. He wouldn't allow it.

Merlyn Global was up on stock points and the board hadn't been proven wrong about him taking over. So, in reality he was successful as the CEO and he knew that on paper, but deep down inside he felt like he'd failed. Maybe it was because he hated the job or maybe it was because with success came a price… He and his father had really never had a relationship past his mother's death, but Robert Queen had always made balancing everything so easy. Maybe it was because of Moira or maybe it was because he was just a better man. Well, Tommy was fairly sure that it was most likely that it was both things because he knew that Robert Queen /was/ a better man than Malcolm Merlyn. Robert Queen would have never hurt his children…

"If only changing your last name was easy," he mumbled as he angrily typed on his keyboard and stared at the computer screen in front of him.

"I hear Smoak is going to be available."

He jumped at her quiet voice, but couldn't help but smile in response. "Geez! You're taking too many lessons from Oliver!"

"Sorry."

"I didn't expect you-"

"I can go-"

"No!"

Felicity smiled. "You okay?"

"I don't know," he told her honestly. He knew that he should be happier in life. As much as he'd been through, he was truly blessed with this family that he'd never had before...and he'd been given a second chance on life. Felicity and Thea as his sisters had been an amazing thing and when he'd first found out, he had never imagined that they'd be so close. It had also given him a second chance to make things right with Oliver...and even to get a glimpse into a world that he never knew he'd find so interesting.

"Hey…" Felicity said quietly as she sat down in the chair across from him. "Talk to me."

"I'm just ready for the merger to be official."

"You look tired."

"I hate being CEO."

Felicity nodded. "It's not easy…"

"Oliver has you-"

"You have me, too," she told him quickly as she reached out and placed her hand over one of his. "All you have to do is ask and I'll come over to help."

"Wouldn't that be considered suspicious?"

Felicity shrugged. "I doubt Moira would appreciate scandal put on her public plan of Oliver and I, but let's be honest...I really don't care about what she thinks right now." She sighed. "Her plan has always been to try to keep us all apart, but that isn't going to work...and it doesn't make any of us happy."

"Sometimes I wonder if Moira and my father remember that they're parents," Tommy mused.

"Someone did something right," Felicity told him. "Look at you and Thea and Oliver… Sure you've all had rough patches, but you three are so strong and smart…"

He smirked. He wondered what Felicity would have thought of them when they were younger. "I think the credit goes to the missing parents...and Walter."

"I'm sure Walter definitely had a big part with Thea."

Tommy was quiet for a moment and he was definitely happy that Felicity was there right now. She brightened his day and he hoped that he could get her to stick around for at least a little while. "I'm glad that you decided to stop by."

"You seemed pretty down when I walked in," she said after a few moments.

Tommy wasn't sure how much to reveal to Felicity. They'd all agreed not to keep secrets when they'd been back on the boat… He just didn't want to burden her or have her worrying over him. HIs sister already worried enough without his help. In fact, sometimes he worried that she worried too much.

"I just hate working here," he finally told her as he motioned around him. "It's not just being CEO of Merlyn Global." Tommy paused. "Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in this prison and surrounded by ghosts…"

"If you /really/ don't want this life then you /need/ to talk to him about it."

Him.

His father.

The great Malcolm Merlyn.

How could he, Merlyn's only son and 'true heir' (as far as the public was concerned), convince him that running Merlyn Global wasn't the life that he wanted? How could he convince him that being a CEO was never his dream? Would the money be great? Yes. But money wasn't everything, as Tommy had found out in his later years. He could live without it.

"I doubt he'll understand."

Tommy watched her. He knew that he'd known their father the longest as a father, but Merlyn had taken a liking to Felicity lately. Tommy wondered if Merlyn's training of his sister had changed her feelings towards their father. He still worried about the situation (well, situations) that his father and Moira Queen had put Felicity in since their return to Starling City. Tommy didn't know how she was still sane and seemingly holding it together a lot better than he was.

He'd actually considered getting a boat or living on an island. Of course, he'd been forced to live both ways with his siblings, but this would be different. This would be on his own terms, so he figured that it had to be better. Tommy just wanted simple and to get away from all of the pressure and expectations. The only thing was that he didn't feel like he could give up his new family. The family that he'd always wanted, but didn't know he'd get.

"He's changed."

"He having a good day?" he asked, almost cynically.

Felicity shrugged. "Maybe."

"I know he's been treating you and Oliver better, but-"

"I know he's not to be trusted."

"Just as long as you /know/ that," Tommy told her.

Felicity tilted her head to the side. "Do you want to go to lunch?"

"It's not quite lunch time."

"You're the CEO," Felicity pointed out. "I think that you can leave a little early… We can go office supply shopping or something…"

"What will the paparazzi think?" Tommy teased with a small smile. Maybe getting out of the office and doing anything with Felicity was really what he needed. Sometimes it was hard to leave a normal life when they had people with cameras following them everywhere.

"I don't care," she whispered as she stared at him. Felicity, he realized, grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. "I just want to make my brother's day a little better."

"Are you sure you're just not trying to get promoted to favorite sister?" he teased lightly with a bigger smile.

Felicity beamed. "You caught me…"

. . .

The music was too loud. The spotlights were too bright. The floor was too crowded.

Crap, he thought, I'm getting old.

It was Verdant's grand re-opening and Tommy didn't think he could feel more out of place as he made his way through the scantily dressed young women who were batting their eyes at him and he knew were way too young for him. A few years before, that wouldn't have mattered, but he was a changed man now. He made his way to the VIP lounge where the rest of the team was gathered to celebrate. He didn't really feel up to partying, especially not in the way of everyone in the club was partying. It just didn't feel like fun to him.

Tommy realized that he'd much rather be down in the quiet of the Foundry /or/ at home. "I think I've already turned into that old man who yells at the kids to stop playing their loud music and to get off of his lawn," Tommy said a bit too loudly as he entered the VIP lounge.

"I know how you feel," Sara sympathized. "But it's still a good cover for the Foundry."

"And Thea and Roy seem to be keeping busy," Oliver pointed out as he motioned towards where their sister and her boyfriend were working in the club.

Tommy turned to watch them. They both seemed happy and he knew that that was really what was important. It was nice to see her happy. He knew that this had been hard on her too. It was good for her to have something to do. He turned back to the others and frowned, Tommy had just realized that someone was missing. "Where's Felicity?" he asked. There was no way that she'd have missed Thea's big night.

"Uh, she's out on the floor," Oliver said slowly.

He could tell that his lifelong friend was keeping something from him. Tommy made his way over to where Oliver was sitting and made himself comfortable on the plush couch next to him. "She's not down in the Foundry?"

"No Team Arrow business tonight," Diggle spoke up.

"Except having fun," Sara added. "And supporting Thea."

"But that's really not Felicity's...scene," Tommy pointed out as he motioned to the one way window and the world of dancing beyond the VIP lounge. He could tell something was going on and he really didn't like secrets.

Oliver shook his head. "It wasn't my idea."

"What wasn't your idea?"

Oliver let out a long sigh and that worried Tommy a bit.

"She's out looking for someone that she finds 'acceptable'," Sara spoke up first.

Now Tommy was the one sighing. "Great. Just what I need."

"How about a drink instead?" Sara offered.

Tommy smiled towards her. "You know...I think I'm going to take you up on that offer…"

"She /means/ well," Oliver told him.

He knew that and normally he'd probably feel touched, if he hadn't been having the worst week ever and he hadn't felt so old walking into that club. In all honesty, Tommy had gone back and forth over the idea of dating. Dating was a normal thing that for a lot of people led to marriage, children, and it seemed like nowadays often led to divorce. Tommy was okay with the first two, but would rather not go through the latter. He also didn't know if he could knowingly subject a wife and possibly children to his father or the world that he'd dumped them all in.

"Just be happy that Felicity's the one that's looking and not Thea…" Diggle said and then looked between all of them. "Just don't repeat that to her."

They all laughed and then Sara disappeared to get drinks.

Tommy tried to relax and just enjoy being there. After all, it wasn't about his discomfort or him feeling old, it was about supporting Thea...and actually relaxing. He realized that he had really never had time to talk to Oliver one on one (or at least for the most part). They had been friends all of their lives and had gone through many a rough patches, but he felt like they were all stronger and closer than ever...even if he hadn't been feeling so great. "Do you remember the last time we were in the club together?"

"Yesterday?" Oliver asked and seemed confused.

"No," Tommy responded quietly. "I mean before I died…"

Oliver looked sad suddenly and he could imagine why. His best friend had been there with him at the end, he'd stayed with him the whole time and had tried to be positive. He'd died and his best friend had thought that he thought he was a monster. "Yeah…"

"I wish that I could change that."

"So do I," Oliver admitted. "We both made mistakes."

"We were both different people."

"We were," Oliver agreed and his features seemed to soften as they continued their discussion. "And we're different people now."

"When we were fifteen...and we'd be told where we would be now… We wouldn't have believed it, even if it came from our future selves...or even if we had a glimpse of this future…" Tommy told him. It sounded all like science fiction, but it was the truth. He didn't think anything or anyone would have been able to convince him that he'd ever hate Oliver or that he'd have died...and then came back from the dead.

"You're right," Oliver told him. "We would have just laughed in their faces and called them crazy…"

"I never realized that even a couple of years would change my viewpoint."

"I don't think we ever realized how much the world could just...change," Oliver pointed out.

"In two years," Tommy mused aloud. "Do you think that we'll be better people? That the world will be better because of us?"

"I hope so," Oliver responded back quietly and sincerely.

Tommy just hoped that his best friend was right. He just hoped that the world wouldn't turn to darkness like his father wanted.

. . .

His night had been better once he'd relaxed a bit. Felicity had introduced him to a total of two women that she found acceptable. He was fairly sure that she'd taken a whole list of things into thought, including their ability to hold a conversation that didn't gush about him being Tommy Merlyn. The two women had both been wonderful in their own way, but he'd actually felt like he'd want to see one of them again. Her name was Melanie and he found her to be a breath of fresh air.

Melanie Walsh was one of those women who didn't know how beautiful they actually were and who didn't overdo it when it came to make-up. She'd come to the club dressed in work attire, but had left her blazer in the car, so not to look like she was trying to make a business deal. She worked at Starling National Bank, so Felicity had told him that she'd ask Walter about her. It wasn't that she was beautiful and seemed like a grown up with her life together that was so appealing, it was that she seemed able to talk about anything and everything and it felt like he'd known her more than just one night. They'd exchanged numbers, but that had been it. No kiss, no nightcap, and no one night stand.

He still worried about what he might bring her into the middle of though if he pursued a relationship with her. He didn't know if he could risk that and felt like maybe he needed to have a talk with Oliver. How did Oliver manage to be the Arrow and be Oliver Queen while dating Felicity and not go crazy with worry about what could happen to her because of being those two things? How could he sleep at night? How could he continue a relationship with her? How could he even concentrate on being happy?

It was about midnight when he finally closed the door to his apartment and turned the deadbolt. He let out a sigh, it had been a long day and he knew now that he definitely was older. He didn't have another four or five hours in him...not like his younger self during his partying...could he call it a phase? He dropped his keys on the entry table and then turned as he started to peel off his coat. Tommy froze when he realized that he wasn't alone.

"Hello Tommy."

The last person that he expected to be in his living room was standing there in the dark.

"I can't say that I'm thrilled to see you," he said. He was tired and his tone reflected that, along with blatant honesty.

"I was worried about you."

Tommy stopped in his tracks and just stared at his father. He reached out and finally turned on the light after a moment, cringing for a second at the bright blast of illumination that filled the room and lit his father's figure up. His father was there dressed in black, like a ninja. Who else had a dad that broke into their apartment dressed as a ninja and then waited around until they got home? Definitely not normal.

"That really doesn't sound like something that my father would say."

"I've changed, Tommy," Merlyn told him and took a step towards him. "I know that you and Thea really don't want me around...and Felicity and Oliver really aren't thrilled about my involvement...but I'm here...and I keep an eye on all of you."

"That's creepy," Tommy admitted as he dropped his jacket over the back of a chair.

Tommy wasn't sure why he hadn't just gotten to the point where he told his father to leave, but he hadn't gotten there. His time at the club hadn't been all about talking to Oliver or Melanie, he'd been drinking too. A cab had dropped him off at home and he'd walked up the stairs in order to get to his apartment in hopes that the brief bit of exercise would help sober him up a bit before he hit the shower and then bed.

"You've been drinking."

"Thea re-opened Verdant," Tommy told him as he shed his suit jacket as well. He started to loosen his tie. "We were all celebrating and hanging out...supporting her. You know, supporting someone is sort of what family does."

Merlyn nodded slowly. "But I've seen you… You haven't been happy."

"Are you really surprised?!" Tommy practically spat at him. He didn't know why he suddenly blew up, it just sort of happened. "I'm screwed up, Dad! We're /all/ screwed up! No wonder none of us are happy!"

For a long time, Merlyn didn't respond. Instead, he just stood there in silence. "I'm trying to change…"

"How's that going to change what you've done?!"

"It doesn't," Merlyn replied all too calmly.

Tommy wasn't sure why, but his father's flat out and sincere calm and honesty was just pissing him off more. He couldn't let go of his childhood and everything he blamed his father for in that time, he couldn't let go of his first go at adulthood, and he couldn't let go of his take two that had landed him with sisters on a boat and island. How could he just forget all of that? How could he forgive it? How did Felicity manage not to put an arrow in him? Or ask Oliver to do it?

"All I wanted in life," Tommy started as calmly as he could. "From you." He paused as he fought to keep control over his emotions that threatened to turn to rage. "Was to be loved and accepted. For you to take time to be my father. For you to comfort me and raise me after my mother /died/." He paused again and couldn't hold back tears. "I never wanted your tough love… I never wanted you to bring me back…" His voice trailed off and he sort of felt good letting it all out. He was certain that his father thought he sounded whiny and saw his tears as weakness, but there was a lot bottled up inside of him. He had come here to check on him, then Tommy figured that it was about time that his father actually heard him.

"I'll do anything for you, Tommy…"

"You can't do anything now…"

"I would do anything-"

"You can't bring her back!" he snapped. "You can't bring back Mom!" Tommy stared at him for a long time. "And you can't bring back Robert Queen… You know, I've started to wonder if part of your motivations for having him killed was just because you were jealous of him… He actually gave a crap about me. He might have spoiled Oliver and I, but he and Moira were always here for me...they were here when you were off learning how to be an assassin…"

"If I could bring back your mother...and if I could bring back Robert, I would," Merlyn promised. "Believe me. I thought about digging up your mother's grave and taking her to Ra's al Ghul and to beg him to let me bring her back...but the stories…" Merlyn paused. "Your mother has been gone too long. Her body is too far gone to attempt to reanimate and hope that she would be the mother that you knew and loved. I didn't want to bring her back if that meant that she would be an abomination…"

"And what am I?!"

"A miracle," Merlyn breathed.

Tommy shook his head and started to pace. He didn't /feel/ like a miracle and he had no idea what to think about his father's words or his story. He honestly didn't know what he'd do if his mother were to show up alive. So many years had passed and so much had happened. Tommy didn't think he'd want her to have to live in that world and through everything that his father had done.

"What about Robert Queen?" he asked with his back to Merlyn.

"I don't know where his body is… It could be at the bottom of the ocean," Merlyn told him.

"But there's a possibility?"

"If that's what you /want/, Tommy," Merlyn said slowly. "If it's something that I could do that might make things better between us...if it would make you happier...I'll drag all the bodies of water in this world to find his body." He paused. "But after all this time in the water, his body might be too far gone to bring back."

"Maybe Oliver knows more...or Sara," he said aloud.

Tommy was certain that his request was selfish and probably hurt his father, but it was really all he could think about at the moment to make amends between the two of them. He didn't want to bring up Merlyn Global because of the merger. They hadn't even talked to Walter and sorted everything out yet. Right now, all he could do was to dwell on the past…

"I need a shower and I'd prefer that you were gone when I got out, so that I can go to bed," Tommy said lowly and evenly. "I have an early morning tomorrow…"

. . .

TBC…