Max's POV

*August 2002*

I huddled against the window on the Grey Hound that I caught in Lexington, Virginia. I felt unsafe being all by myself. The trees began to come more into focus as the bus started to slow at the last stop between me and M.I.T. The brakes set off in a high pitched halt before the driver opened the narrow double doors to the few people standing at the glass booth. My eyes stayed cemented on the ongoing traffic that buzzed just past the window. There was a loud sigh and some rummaging beside me. I turned to see a dirty blonde guy leaning over his backpack, fiddling with a Walkman. I rolled my eyes, glancing down at my iPod which I had snagged off some snooty rich kid back in Virginia. The little twerp had some pretty decent songs downloaded. I rotated my thumb about the flat dial on the thick machine and turned up the volume.

"'Immigrant Song', right?" I pulled out a single earphone to see who had spoken. "You into Zeppelin?" The guy beside me asked, smiling warmly. I nodded.

"A bit, thanks to my brother."

"Your brother's got good taste. You going to Boston?"

"Naw, I'm just on this bus for kicks." I said sarcastically, returning his smile none the less.

"I'm Ash, if you were wondering."

"That's great to know," Settling back into the seat, I rubbed my arms and pulled my rucksack closer against my chest just as the bus driver turned up the air conditioning. "

"You heading to M.I.T. too?" He continued in his deep, raspy voice.

"Yes, and if you must know, I'm Max."

"It's nice to meet you." My lips twisted almost effortlessly in pleasant speculation, observing his body language.

That's how I met Ash. And that's when Sullivan and I had a falling out. Ash understood me, more clearly than any other person I had ever met in my life. Maybe that's why I was so infatuated with him. Maybe that was why I went against everything I believed in so that I could be happy.

*present*

Dean snored softly beside me, most of the blanket tangled in his limbs. I sighed as I stretch out my stiff muscles, realizing that it was one in the morning. Quietly getting to my feet I walked into the bathroom, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I leaned over to wash the heavy oil from off my face and wasn't even surprised to see Castiel standing like a statue behind me.

"May I have my coat back? I don't feel presentable…a bit naked." I laughed to myself, tossing Cas his trench coat which hung on the back of the door.

"How'd I get your coat anyway?" Cas pursed his lips, shifting his body weight from one foot to the other.

"You…you looked cold so I…"

"Thank you, Cas." I cut in abruptly in order to avoid any chick flick moments.

"You should go back to sleep. I'll see you in the morning." The angel stepped forward and placed a kiss on my forehead, taking me by surprise. I nodded feeling exhaustion and sleep come upon me like a warm blanket. I carefully collapsed on the mattress beside Dean once again and snuggled against the cool pillow falling back into another dreamless sleep.

"She's in pretty rough shape, Bobby," Dean spoke in a hushed voice. I kept my eyes shut but my ears open. "I guess you're right. No, she's sleeping right now. I'm worried about her Bobby. She's had a fever for the past few days and she looks like hell. Yeah, see you soon, Bobby." I heard the phone snap shut and Dean sigh heavily before walking towards me. My brother's cool hand brushed against my cheek.

"Dean?" I mumbled, trying to sound like I had just been awoken.

"Hey, monkee, how're you feeling?" He leaned over to smile at me. I put a hand over my mouth so I wouldn't spread anything to him. "We're gonna get something to eat before we head out so get your butt in gear."

"Stop bossing me around." I groaned, rolling out of the bed groggily. "Where's Sam?"

"He went out to get you some medicine." Dean answered, gathering his clothing and shoving them into his bag, watching me waddle toward the sink. "Cas came by an hour ago…"

"And?" I rubbed the lathered soap around my face.

"Why haven't you annulled the marriage yet, Max?" Water droplets rolled down my shirt and down my forearm as I stood up straight from bending over the porcelain sink. I grabbed a wash cloth and dried my face and neck before turning back to Dean who stood with a lazily folded band shirt in his hands.

"I don't know…never got around to it, I guess." Dean frowned. "I don't know what you want me to tell you, Dean. You don't like Sullivan, you don't like Ash…"

"Hey! What I want to know is why you dated Ash while you were dating Sullivan?"

"Sullivan and I had a falling out." I justified loudly, hating how terrible I sounded—physically and mentally. "Long distance relationships never last Dean. Sullivan and I could never have lasted but I loved him…just like you loved Cassie. And just because I dated Ash doesn't mean that I loved Sullivan any less. Why can't you understand that?"

"But, why? Why Ash?!" Dean demanded, his arms outstretched defiantly.

"What's wrong with Ash?"

"He's…the mullet…and—the mullet!"

"He didn't have the mullet back in college, Dean!"

"Yeah, but still, Max, I just don't understand. Is Cas your sloppy third or something?"

"No!" I insisted, snarling, embarrassed that he would think so lowly of me. "I don't use people I care about, Dean."

"But you'd use the next himbo walking down the street, right?"

"Uh, yeah," I said, fluctuating my voice to make my point. "an idiot and his money are a girl's best friend."

"You're despicable, you know that?"

"Yeah, says the guy who goes after every airheaded bimbo in the bar."

"Hey, I love my bimbos."

"Then, you're no better than me, Dean." I snapped, clutching my fists into a ball and throwing the wash cloth into the corner of the counter.

"What's going on?" Sam asked, entering the small motel room with a white plastic bag.

"Thank God, the sasquatch has arrived." Dean smirked sarcastically. Sam pulled out a dark purple bottle from the bag and filled a small cup with maroon liquid before holding it out to me.

"It'll make you feel better, I promise." I quickly upended the plastic cup, swallowing the dull liquid so I would be free to gag at the bitter taste.

Just like Sam promised, the disgusting medicine did make me feel less heavy. My head still pounded and my throat still ached but my fever had dropped. Dean and I avoided eye contact as we drove around looking for somewhere we could eat. Sam kept insisting that we had to start eating healthy and finally had Dean stop at Subway. Sam ordered first and I followed, ordering a flat bread foot long with a hell of a lot of spinach, lettuce, cucumber and chicken with ranch and chipotle sauce.

"And he'll have—" I began, nodding back at Dean.

"Max, I can order food by myself."

"Fine," I snapped. "I guess you can pay by yourself too." Turning on my heels, I sat across from Sam at a hard booth.

"Girlfriend?" The guy putting the sandwiches together asked Dean.

"I wish. But you can't get rid of family." My older brother answered, paying and gathering the three bags before sitting beside Sam.

"What's up with you two?" Sam asked, watching Dean shove me my sub while taking a large bite of his own.

"Don't worry about it, Sam." I grumbled, pulling apart my foot long meal so it sat in two halves.

"Hello Winchesters." We all looked up to see Castiel standing next to the table, wooden as can be as he sat beside me. I pushed one half of my sandwich in front of the angel, earning me a scowl from Dean and a smirk from Sam. Cas looked from me to my brothers, letting out a quiet breath.

I wasn't a whore. Around when I left my father I had just been told by one of Sullivan's friends that he was cheating on me with some chick in his college. Like I said, we had a falling out. I wasn't lying to Dean when I said that I still loved Sullivan. It didn't matter what Sullivan had done…you never stop having feelings for your first love. Ash, on the other hand...I've never felt so close to anyone before. Ash made me accept the fact that it was better to be a freak than conforming to the empty norms of society.