A/N: I really hope the ending doesn't 'fizzle' for anyone.

Fun Fact: The LAPD Memorial Fountain was located at Parker Center until its removal to make way for a new jail (in 2002, I believe). According to newspaper reports, the fountain was broken when they attempted to move it to its new location. Since I am a research fiend, I have discovered that the marble pieces covering the fountain were actually removed and put into storage and its concrete base was demolished. The cost of relocating the fountain was estimated at $445,000 (2006 US dollars) but ultimately an entirely different memorial was erected at the new LAPD Headquarters building to the tune of $725,000 (2009 US dollars). It was funded privately. Unfortunately, I didn't find the actual pictures until after I'd written the chapter in which it's described, so there's an error there. Jim Reed Senior's name should've been spelled out instead of just his initials. I claim creative license. :P

That is not, however, the error I mentioned in an earlier Author's Note. Did anyone catch it?

June 1, 1991

Today was graduation. Unlike when I graduated college, I didn't feel the enormous sense of relief at finally finishing classes. I actually felt a little sad about it. Not because I wouldn't be seeing any of my classmates anymore - we report to our stations on Monday - but because this place has become comforting to me. Sure it was intense and structured and demanding but there's also a kind of homey feeling to it that I can't explain.

The biggest thing that happened today had little to do with graduation, though.

I'd told Mom and Mike about it when I phoned last weekend (I try to call every weekend if I don't actually make it home) and said I'd like it if they could be there - but I also said if they couldn't, I'd understand. I didn't want Mom to think I was forcing her into a corner about it.

Once the parade was over and we were all standing in formation, I looked over to the seats reserved for family. It took a minute but I finally located Mike - sitting next to an empty chair. I was a little disappointed but not really surprised. Uncle Pete had warned me that Mom might not show up for the ceremony. The whole thing had been a really painful adjustment for her.

I'd also invited Jenny and Jason - their seats were just behind Mike - but I expected those to be empty. Jason's got a pretty irregular schedule and Jenny said she had some labs that had to be completed by Monday, so she wasn't sure if she could make it. The fact that they hadn't come didn't bother me nearly as much as seeing Mike sitting alone.

After I saw Mike I put my eyes front again - it wouldn't do to get caught looking around - but I let my mind wander a little bit while I stood there. I never, in all this time, wanted to hurt my mom in any way but I couldn't not do what I was doing. As soon as I figured it out, that day at the fountain, everything since just seemed like the way things were supposed to be. When I was in law school, it always seemed like there was a constant battle going on inside of me to stick with it. At the Academy, however, it just seemed natural.

I brought my attention back to Uncle Pete at that point. He was giving the graduation speech and had just gotten to the part about the history and reputation of the LAPD. I don't know if I imagined it, but I thought he looked at me as he said "You have some mighty big shoes to fill." Those words went straight through to my soul. I could feel everyone around me stand a little taller when he said it, too, just like I did.

His words made me remember the memorial fountain. Ominous at first, it gradually came to represent courage, dedication, self-sacrifice - and now we were officially a part of that. Big shoes, indeed.

When we broke formation, I wandered around for a little bit but didn't go far. I knew Mike had seen me from the stands (he waved) and I didn't want to make it difficult for him to find me. We were also due to get some photographs taken so I couldn't leave the parade square to go find him. I saw Uncle Pete talking to a few people and I really wanted to talk to him but since he was still in his official role, I couldn't do that either.

A few minutes later Mike showed up, thumped me on the shoulder and shook my hand, saying "Way to go, Jay! Congrats!" I still haven't been able to get him to use my proper name. It's just as well, though - I think. I'm a little old to be called 'Jimmy' and I'm pretty sure it's going to be awkward having people call me 'Jim'. I certainly don't want people call me 'Junior' - except Uncle Pete, of course.

We talked for a few minutes - Mike told me Jason had called and said he couldn't make it because he had to work a double shift - and then Mike asked where the refreshment tables were. He hasn't changed. I pointed him in the direction of the drinks and sandwiches and then stood there waiting while he took off to fill a plate.

It was while I was standing around that I heard someone call my name. At first I thought it was to go for the photo session but when I turned around, my mouth fell open. Standing next to Uncle Pete looking small and kind of lost was Mom. I was so surprised I just stood rooted to the spot. Finally she lifted her arms a bit and I ran over to give her a hug - poise and decorum be damned. I was so happy and relieved that she came, I actually had tears in my eyes (although I'll never admit it out loud).

When we finally let go I looked in her eyes - really looked. I don't know why but I guess I was hoping to see some kind of approval there. What I saw instead was a mixture of fear and pride - but most of all was love. I couldn't imagine how difficult it was for her to see me in the same uniform as Dad, knowing better than I did what I was letting myself in for. All that mattered to me, though, was that she loved me enough to come anyway.

The announcement to form up for pictures came over the loudspeaker then but I didn't want to leave just yet. I looked at her and asked the first thing that popped into my head: "Are you alright?"

She shook her head and answered "I'm not alright, Jimmy, but I'll be okay."

I gave her another hug and let go just as Uncle Pete said "Officer Reed - it's time." Just the sound of it sent a kind of nervous thrill through me.

I don't know if I can live up to that name, Dad, but I'm going to do my best.

THE END