A/N: This chapter is a bit long, but it's something that was a long time coming. I might have split it in two, but in celebration of Dropbox finding what I thought was lost forever, here it is. Three chapters to go after this one.
-35-
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Alex was awake even earlier than normal. By 5:35, she was wide awake and pacing the floor of Kate's guest bedroom, practicing for the most important closing argument she'd ever make. They weren't due in Petrovsky's courtroom until 11 am, but nerves were making sure she wouldn't get another minute of sleep. She was glad they weren't having their reception today, after all. They'd be surrounded by about a dozen people when they exchanged the vows they'd written, and then they'd go out for a wonderful brunch, and head home. They were taking a honeymoon in a few weeks, after the party, and Liv had offered to spend their wedding night out of town, or in a hotel somewhere in the city, but Alex had declined.
"I want to spend our wedding night in our new house, in our bed," she'd told her. But the night before, they had decided to spend apart. Kate thought they were being silly, and told Alex as much when she wandered into the guest room at 8 with two mugs of coffee.
"Up early, Cab?"
"Not too early," Alex lied. "Why do you ask?"
"Just wondered how much pacing you'd been doing to wear that path in my rug," Kate said. Alex stopped walking and looked behind her at the floor, and Kate laughed, earning her a look that caused most defense attorneys to cower. Kate wasn't most defense attorneys, of course.
"I don't know why you two spent the night apart if she's picking you up to drive to the wedding," Kate said. "Thought you weren't supposed to see each other until we got to the courthouse."
"It wasn't about a superstition," Alex explained. "It was one last night to..."
"Back out?" Kate joked.
"No, Kate, damn it. Can you be serious for one minute? When you marry Marina, you may wish you'd paid a little more attention." She couldn't resist the jab. The thing with Marina was getting pretty serious—or what passed for serious with Kate, anyway.
"Never happen," Kate snapped. "I'm the untamed heart. But fine, share your wisdom with me, oh guru of love."
Alex picked up a throw pillow from the armchair and heaved it at Kate, reclining now on the foot of the bed. "Listen, it's taken us a long time to get here. I wanted a bright-line to divide my life, before and after."
"Oh, God, a bright-line, huh? You're damn lucky Benson eats up that legal bullshit that comes out of your mouth, Cab. If that's your idea of romance, I feel sorry for that poor detective."
Now Alex laughed, too. "No need to feel sorry for her, Kate. She's got me wrapped around her little finger."
"I don't know about that," Kate said. "But I do know that if I don't have you ready by 10:30, she's going to have her hands wrapped around my neck. Be in the kitchen in 10 minutes. I've got to feed you something and then you can get ready."
They arrived before anyone else, and went to visit with Judge Petrovsky. She greeted them both with a brilliant smile and a warm embrace. It wasn't something Alex had ever experienced before in her chambers; any time she'd been summoned here before, it hadn't been a happy occasion.
"You both look beautiful," she said. They had opted for simple dresses, Olivia in a silver A-line and Alex in a sapphire blue sheath. The dresses they'd initially chosen were a bit more formal than they wanted for a courthouse wedding, so they were saving those for the party, keeping them secret even from one another.
"Thank you," Alex said. "She does look fantastic, doesn't she? I'm a very lucky woman." She smiled at Olivia and put an arm around her waist, pulling her close. She was as happy as she'd ever been, and her joy was contagious.
"You're both very lucky," Lena Petrovsky told them. "I didn't think this day would ever come, but I'm pleased to see you defying the odds yet again, Alexandra."
"Miracles happen when she's around," Olivia said quietly.
"Indeed," the judge said. "So, you've written your own vows, I know. I'll just do the basic legal part. Will you have attendants?"
"We will," Alex told her. "Elliot Stabler will be standing up with Olivia, and my best friend, Kate Merritt, will be with me. Other than that, it will be a small group, and nothing formal. But you will be joining us for the reception in a few weeks, won't you?"
"You can't keep me away," Petrovsky said. "As honored as I am that you asked me to perform your wedding ceremony, the party is my real motivation. Your captain invited me to be his date, Olivia, and it sounds like a wonderful evening."
Cragen needs to get out a bit, Olivia thought. She smiled, just glad he was taking Petrovsky and not Donnelly. Her grin must have been mischievous, because Alex gave her a curious look.
Lena excused herself. "Let me see if your guests have arrived," she said. "Who am I looking for?"
"My uncle Bill, the Stablers, Detectives Rollins, Tutuola, Munch and Amaro, Captain Cragen," Alex listed. "Who else, Liv?"
"Kate and her parents, Ellen, Judge Donnelly, and Melinda Warner," Olivia supplied. "I think that's it."
"Everyone who matters, then. I'll head out and if everyone is in place, I'll come back and get you."
They were left alone for a moment, and Olivia turned to Alex.
"Last chance, Alex. I don't want you to rush into anything?"
"I've had about 14 years to think this over now, Liv. I think I'm good." Olivia leaned over for a kiss, but was rebuffed. "Hold on, now. You're this close to making it official. I think you can wait a few more minutes for all of that."
Olivia laughed, and Petrovsky stuck her head back in.
"Counselor, Detective...everyone is present and accounted for. Shall we?"
They followed the judge into the courtroom, and were pleased to see nearly all of the most important people in their world gathered there to wish them well. Only George was absent, and he would be with them in a few weeks for the party. Judge Petrovsky stood in front of the bench, and Liv and Alex took their places facing her, between Kate and Elliot, who was smiling at his former partner as proudly as if she were his own daughter or sister.
"This wedding is to be a rather informal one," Petrovsky began, winking at the two women as she spoke. "But I'm certainly not one to pass up an opportunity to speak, and as it is my courtroom, ladies, I'm sure you won't mind."
Everyone laughed, and Alex felt the warm sound roll over her like sunshine breaking through clouds.
"Alexandra and Olivia, I've known you both for so long—nearly as long as you've known one another—and I cannot express how very happy I am to see you both delivered safely to this momentous occasion in your lives. You've braved all of the usual obstacles one faces in finding love, and along the way you've had quite a few challenges that were decidedly unusual. The joy on the faces of all those who love you speaks volumes about the lives you lead, and the happiness you've each brought to everyone you know. To see you enjoy that same measure of happiness in the company of one another, and to be with you as you celebrate your love and commitment, is an honor and a privilege for us all."
Tears were forming in more than a few eyes, including Petrovsky's. Alex suspected that if she were to look around the room, only Kate would be immune to such heartfelt sentiments. She was surprised, then, to hear a sniffle to her left, and a sidelong glance showed her that even Merritt the Misanthrope was, in fact, crying.
The judge continued, "We are gathered together here in the presence of these witnesses to join these women in matrimony, which is an honorable estate, and is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and discreetly. If anyone has any objections, I'll have to insist that you lodge them in an exasperated tone from behind the prosecution's table, or forever hold your peace."
Alex laughed out loud, as did most everyone in the room. If there had been any thought that Petrovsky lacked either an affectionate respect for the ADA, or a wonderful sense of humor, she neatly dispelled both misapprehensions with a single sentence. Lena smiled briefly, then became serious as she got to the heart of the ceremony.
"Alex, Olivia, please face one another and join hands," she directed. "Alexandra, will you take this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together in the estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor and keep her; in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, as long as you both shall live?"
"I will," Alex replied, her voice as firm and clear as it always was in a courtroom. She smiled at Olivia and squeezed her hand.
"Olivia, will you take this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together in the estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor and keep her; in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, as long as you both shall live?"
Olivia's voice was softer, and laced with emotion as she spoke. "I will."
"Alex and Olivia have written their own vows for the exchange of their wedding rings," Petrovsky said, and gestured to Alex to proceed. Kate handed over the ring she'd been holding carefully since she'd left her house this morning, and Alex turned back to face Olivia, stopping to wipe a tear running down the detective's cheek.
"I've been imagining this day for longer than I had a right to, and every time I pictured this moment, I was the one doing the crying," she joked. "Olivia Benson, I know without a shadow of a doubt that you are my fate and my destiny. You are simply the most wonderful person I have ever known, and I couldn't be happier than to be standing here with you today in front of our friends and family to commit our lives to one another. You teach me every single day what it is to love unreservedly, and to be loved unconditionally. You have shown me the power of faith, the strength of belief, the value of patience, and the comfort of companionship. You have taught me the importance of all of our yesterdays, the hope of our tomorrows, and the beauty of today. Liv, I will try to always be the very best that I can possibly be, for you, and I hope to always give you the wonder of discovery, the safety of home and the joy of love." She slipped the platinum ring onto Olivia's ring finger, realizing they were both crying now. It was important to her to add one tradition to this not-entirely-traditional day by including the vows her own parents, and her aunt and uncle, had said when they married. "With this ring, I thee wed. With my body, I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow." She lifted Olivia's hand and kissed her finger gently, brushing her lips over the cool metal band.
Olivia admired the ring for a moment, and reluctantly let go of Alex's hand to turn around and take a matching diamond-and-platinum band from Elliot.
"Alex, I never thought we'd make it this far," she began, and everyone laughed through their tears. "I loved you from the moment I met you, even if I took too long to show it. Our path to this moment wasn't quick and it wasn't easy, but I wouldn't change a single step along the way. I have never met anyone who could hold a candle to you, sweetheart. You're brilliant and beautiful, strong and gentle, tough and kind. You make everything hard seem a little bit easier, and everything easy seem a little more important. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy, talking to you, listening to you, and doing everything I can to support, inspire and encourage you. I love you, Alex," she said. As she placed the ring on Alex's finger, she spoke in a voice barely above a whisper, and choked with tears. "I commit to you with all that I have, and all that I am, and all that I will ever be. This ring is a token and reminder of my love and faithfulness."
As much as both of them had looked forward to this day, the solemn emotions threatened to overwhelm them and tears poured down their cheeks. Elliot reached around and handed Olivia a handkerchief, which she used to gently dry Alex's eyes, and then her own. She then saw Kate's hand reach around Alex to take the damp cloth, and then dry her own eyes, drawing a chuckle from everyone present.
Judge Petrovsky went one step further, eliciting real laughter when she held out her hand and accepted the handkerchief from Kate, drying her own tears before tucking the fabric inside her robe and continuing the ceremony.
"Now that we've all had a nice cry, let's finish what we started, shall we?" She returned to her notes. "For as much as Alexandra and Olivia have consented together in wedlock and have witnessed the same before this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth, each to the other,
and have declared the same by joining hands. Now, by the authority vested in me by the State of New York, I pronounce you to be legally married."
Olivia put up her hand to silence the guests' applause. "And?" she asked Petrovsky.
"And you may kiss the bride."
Olivia leaned in, and Alex met her halfway for a gentle kiss. Liv used her thumbs to wipe tears from Alex's cheeks, but could still taste the salt on her lips. "I love you, Alex," she whispered.
"I love you, Liv," Alex replied, wrapping her arms around Olivia's shoulders. They stood quietly together for just a few seconds, trying to absorb the reality of something they'd waited so long for, and then Alex pulled back and looked into Olivia's eyes. "Now, it's time to feed your wife, Benson."
The wedding brunch was perfect. They had time to visit with everyone, and Kate had arranged for a photographer to set up in a corner of the private room they had reserved at The Standard Grill. Bill, Kate, Elliot and Don each gave a brief toast, and more tears were shed. It was an unreservedly happy day in a year that had been sorely lacking in them, and by the time they parted company with their guests at three o'clock, they were feeling the glow of more than a few cocktails. The bartender at the Grill, a cute girl named Shea, had obviously been in love with love herself. She kept turning out Autumn Brambles that were both potently mixed and frequently poured.
Uncle Bill had called a car service to take them home, and Elliot drove their car and handed the keys off to the doorman for later retrieval. They arrived home and took the elevator up to their new home on the 14th floor. The apartment was a bit larger—they had a guest room now, which was nice—but the best part of the move was the spectacular view. They were on the northeast corner of the building, and their bedroom and living room looked out toward the Empire State Building. It was a panorama Olivia had always enjoyed from the rooftop deck, and she was thrilled to lie in bed and see the iconic structure some 30 blocks away.
They had begun kissing the moment they walked in the front door, and had spent a very leisurely afternoon kissing, and touching, and making love. Despite assurances from both Elliot and Melinda that this would change things, Liv hadn't expected married sex to be any different from engaged sex, or even dating sex. She'd been wrong. The gravity of it all threatened to overwhelm her.
"You're my wife," she had said to Alex as they lay naked in bed about 5:30.
"I am," Alex confirmed. "And you're my wife. How does it feel, sweetheart? Someone finally tied you down."
Olivia rolled onto her stomach and looked down at Alex. When her head dipped, making her shaggy hair even more tousled, and her brown eyes locked on to Alex's own, the attorney's stomach never failed to perform and immediate and pronounced drop.
"Tie me up, tie me down, I don't mind at all," Olivia said. "As long as you're the one tightening the knots, honey, I'm happy."
"Here I thought we were having a romantic moment, and you have to go and talk about bondage," Alex laughed. "You can always get me hot, Benson."
Olivia leaned over and kissed her. "That's good to know, actually. I'm going to grab some water to cool you down," she said. "Then I'll get you hot all over again."
When she returned a few minutes later, Alex was standing by the bedroom windows, lost in thought. She joined her there, wrapping her arms around the pale, naked body that had been covering her own such short while before. She didn't speak, just kissed Alex's shoulders, nuzzled her ear and held her close. They'd been here before, she remembered, or at least in a place that looked awfully similar. The first night they'd spent together, when Alex was home from Wisconsin...she shuddered noticeably, and squeezed her eyes closed to block out the memory.
"That's not now, Liv."
She opened her eyes and whispered in Alex's ear. "What, baby?"
"I felt you, just now. I know exactly what you're thinking, and that's not now. That was a long time ago. I'm not leaving you, ever again. This is our home, and our wedding day, and the beginning of the rest of our lives together," she said. "See the way the sunset makes the city glow, honey?"
"The golden hour," Olivia said quietly. That last hour before sunset, when the warm light made everything glow like a lamp in the window on a winter evening, welcoming you home in the dark. "This is home, isn't it?"
Alex turned to face her, and wrapped those long arms around Olivia's strong back. "It is, Liv," she said. "Welcome home, baby."
Olivia took her mouth in a frenzied kiss, moving her hands down Alex's back, grabbing her ass and pulling her as close as possible. Alex's hands went to Liv's breasts, kneading and twisting as they consumed one another, teeth scraping against lips, tongues exploring.
Pushing Alex backward against the glass, Liv reached down and pulled a long leg up and around her waist, then pushed her hand roughly between their bellies. She moaned as her fingers slid through the wet heat she found there, and she entered Alex quickly with two fingers. The resulting gasp immediately gave way to a deep sigh, as Alex adjusted to the slight stretch and then whispered a request: "More. Please."
Olivia added a third finger, and began moving in and out, her thumb on Alex's clit as she fucked her. "So tight, and so wet," she said. "God, honey, you feel so good around me."
"Make me come, Liv."
The request was simple and unadorned, and Olivia delivered quickly. Alex came within a couple of minutes, a deep orgasm that felt to each of them somehow more profound than any they'd ever shared before. Alex melted into Olivia's arms, spent from the physical and emotional release and exhausted by the weeks of pain and mourning and anticipation that had preceded it. Olivia gently guided her the few steps to the bed, lay her across the king-sized bed, and grabbed a blanket to pull over them before lying down beside her.
They settled in on their stomachs, legs entwined and hips touching as they silently watched the last golden light seep out of the evening, replaced by a cool, dusky blue sky. When the room was nearly dark, Alex spoke.
"Lamest wedding night ever?" she laughed.
"Well, I don't have anything to compare it to," Olivia said. "But I think it's been pretty wonderful so far, to be honest."
"And it's not even seven o'clock. What would you like to do for the rest of the night?"
"Besides you, you mean?" Olivia teased.
"Not necessarily," Alex said.
"What I'd love to do is order Chinese food, and sit on the floor in our living room in front of that gas fireplace you were so opposed to, and eat dinner with you, and then bring you back to bed."
"Then what?" Alex asked.
"Always need a plan, don't you, Cabot?"
"I don't always need one," she clarified. "But you always seem to have one anyway."
Olivia kissed her on the forehead, then the nose, and finally on the lips. "Oh, you know me too well," she said. "I do have a plan. But you'll just have to wait and see what it is, won't you?"
"Playing it cool?" Alex laughed.
"I might be."
"That's okay," Alex said. "As of this minute, we officially have the rest of our lives, Liv. I can wait forever."