Riddle Answer: Heir to the Jedi was the book that had the cake conversation. I've been listening to this audiobook at work, and I highly recommend it. The Luke losing his virginity element is not canon, but… come on, it's totally canon. They're alone in a hotel room, and the scene fades to black with Luke saying he wished the moment never ended.
To anyone interested in reading it, while I do recommend it, I will warn that it's a bit gorier than most Star Wars novels… as in the goriest one I've encountered. I've read maybe half a dozen, so I can't speak for the styles of novels in general, but there are some moments that might be a bit too realistic for Star Wars. For example, a character is killed by getting shot in the head and it's described as their "head exploded."
So, because I've had to split a few chapters in half due to bulk of content, my friend and I have re-evaluated our bet. Instead of getting to TFA before TLJ (because the only way to do that in the next thirty days is to literally quit my job to write fic, we're still twelve chapters away) I just have to write at least ten chapters from the start of our bet. I've already written six, so this is going to work out just fine.
In other words, don't expect TFA to start until probably January at the earliest.
Now back to fretting over how much the events of TLJ will screw over my fic.
The Long Way Home
Chapter Thirty-Six
The Price of Growing Older
Some live here because it was where they were born, and it's all they've ever known.
- Rey's Survival Guide
"We have to save Teng!"
"Rey, settle down and go to sleep," Luke ordered as he lie in his cot, pulling the blankets over his body.
"But Dad!" she objected from her hammock.
"But nothing. We have to leave this for the morning. There's nothing we can do about it tonight. Go to sleep, and we'll figure this out in the morning."
Rey grumbled but fussed about in her sheets and settled for bed. Sleep would not come to her, her head with a pounding ache, and cramping in her abdomen. Something more than a stomach ache, her body must have been punishing her for her misbehaving the last few weeks… or maybe months.
"Dad?"
Luke groaned, having been a moment away from surrendering to slumber.
"Sorry," Rey scratched at a pimple on her face. Her skin had started developing them over the last year, but in the past week she had had a large flare up of them on her cheeks and jawline.
"It's okay," Luke shifted into a more comfortable position. "What is it?"
"What can we do to save Teng?"
Luke groaned but thought about her question, "I suppose I'll just have to go to Meru and pay her double for Teng or something. I don't know what we're going to do with him after, but that should hold off the buyer."
"Who is the buyer?"
"I have no idea, but I'll try to find out. Hopefully it's someone local."
"Who knows not to mess with you?"
"Exactly."
Rey smiled, "Thanks Dad."
Luke grinned back in the darkness, sensing her smile, "It's no problem. That's the sort of thing you do for a friend."
"He's not exactly your friend."
"No, but you're right, you need someone your age to spend time with. Teng is a nice boy, and you don't have many other options."
"Just that Devi girl and Strunk guy. Honestly, they give me a bad vibe."
"Same here. Strunk seems a little… Dirkish-"
"You mean simple?" Rey teased.
"Exactly," Luke nodded. "It's the Devi girl you can't trust. Promise me you won't trust her further than you can throw her."
"I don't know. I bet I could throw her pretty far."
Luke chuckled, "Alright, then don't trust her further than she casts a shadow."
"Deal." Rey thought about his words, "You know, I think I kinda like that phrase. Can we make that be a thing?"
"Will you stop talking and let me go to sleep?"
"Deal."
"Then it's a thing."
The next morning, Rey was woken by the throb in her abdomen. She groaned and wrapped an arm around her body as she sat up in her hammock. It had gotten so much worse overnight. It was like a stabbing pain in her gut… No lower than her gut, sort of somewhere around her pelvis.
Something wet slid down her legs.
Oh no. Had she been so stressed out by the Teng situation that she wet the bed? It had been years since that happened. How could she have done it now?
What would her father say?
Rey glanced over at Luke. He was sound asleep, breathing heavily, and his feet gently kicking under the blanket. He weirdly did that sometimes, though Rey couldn't figure out why.
Carefully, Rey slid out of bed and slipped on her shoes. She would head outside, check herself over, and if she had wet the bed, she would come back in and clean it all up before her father woke… somehow.
She was too embarrassed to look at her hammock as she snuck outside. If she had, she would have been in for a huge shock.
Rey did end up getting said shock when she went outside.
Behind and a little way away from the walker was their designated washroom area. It wasn't the most dignified thing to deal with bodily fluids while living on Jakku. Squatting in sand was awkward, and burying solids was meant not only as a courtesy to your fellow desert dwellers, but also the age-old game all species liked to play "let's pretend no one ever defecates."
Rey pulled down her leggings and readied herself to deal with the embarrassment of cleaning her urine stained clothing when her heart froze. Her leggings and underwear weren't stained with urine.
They were stained with blood.
Rey's heart thudded in her chest a mile a minute. There was blood. She was bleeding. It was staining her thighs and her groin- No. Coming from her groin.
It wasn't normal blood either, not bright red and spurting until it clotted. It was dark red, thick and sticky. It flowed almost imperceivably. When Rey wiped herself – if there was one luxury Luke was not going to stand letting his daughter grow up without, it was toilet paper – the blood wiped away with it, but more blood flowed from her, taking its place.
Rey's head raced with concern. Okay, she knew what this probably was. Headaches, cramps, hormonal acne, being very cranky. This was probably her first period.
…But what if it wasn't? What if something was massively wrong and she was slowly bleeding to death? What if something terrible was happening and she was about to get blood out of every orifice of her body? What if her uterus had been ripped in two? What if her entire reproductive system was about to fall out of her? What if she had cancer?
What was cancer again? She remembered Aletha mentioning it before.
No, she had to focus. She had to figure out what was going on and then… do something.
But what?
Oh, she should have paid far more attention when Aletha was teaching her biology.
Ok, she needed to make a plan. Step one: Tell Dad.
…Should she tell her father? After all, he was a man. He might have general knowledge about periods, but could he answer all the questions she had about it? Could he tell the difference between a period and something else? Most importantly, could she really look her father in the eye and say "Dad, I'm bleeding profusely from my private area."
She definitely knew the answer to number three.
Oh God, what was she supposed to do? Why, oh why did she not pay attention more to Aletha when she was talking about-
Wait, Aletha! That was it! That was the answer. She could talk to Aletha about…
Oh no…Well, this going to be a very awkward day. And that wasn't even considering they had to go save Teng. Could Rey still go do that?
There was one thing that was clear: she had to wake up her father and then she would figure this all out.
"Dad. Dad," Rey shook her father.
Luke groaned and opened his eyes, "Rey? What's going on?"
Rey looked very nervous for some reason, "Dad, we, uh… I have to go to Niima Outpost right now. We have to go."
"Why?"
"I, uh… I need to see Aletha."
Luke narrowed his eyes, unwilling to summon the energy to sit up, "Why? What are you going to do to her?"
"Nothing," Rey blushed, "I just have to see her. I… I hurt myself."
That made Luke sit up.
"What? Where?" he grabbed her arm and started to examine her.
Rey pulled away, "Don't get excited, it's just my… legs."
"Did you cut yourself?"
"Uh… sort of."
"Let me take a look."
"Uh, no, it's… kinda high up."
Luke frowned, "What, your thigh?"
"Uh…" Rey bit her lip and looked at the ground. "Higher."
He didn't get it until Rey awkwardly glanced back at her hammock. There was a small spot of blood on the fabric… and her legs were very firmly clenched together.
"Oh," Luke understood. He pushed off her blanket and got out of bed, "Sure. Aletha gave me something for when you got… a thigh cut."
He found the little pouch Aletha had given him a few years back, and handed it to Rey.
"Here," he said. "There's some special painkillers that focus on relieving… thigh cramps."
"And this?" Rey frowned as she pulled out a small white bundle.
"A bandage of sorts," Luke wished he didn't have to use euphemisms. He was comfortable talking openly about periods, but Rey didn't appear to be, so he respected her decision. "Line the… section of clothing that comes into contact with the source of the blood. That should soak it up for a while. There's several of those in that pouch. You're going to need more than one before it finishes. Do you… have any questions for me about it?"
"I'd kind of like to talk to Aletha about it."
"Of course, as a woman and doctor she does know quite a bit more about… thigh cuts."
"Thanks," Rey blushed. "Dad, what about Teng? We have to go get him."
"How about this?" Luke offered. "I'll drop you off with Aletha, and I'll go handle this whole Teng business."
"Promise you'll save him?"
"I'll bring him home. Now go… line your clothing. I'll start the speeder."
"Excuse me, Doctor?" Luke smiled as he entered Aletha's tent, "but am I interrupting something?"
"Of course not, Mister Erso," Aletha grinned, automatically crossing the room to wrap her arms around his neck and greet him with a kiss. "This is my favorite part of the morning."
"Ahem!"
That was when Aletha noticed Rey had followed in behind.
"Right," Aletha quickly pulled away from Luke. "What can I do for you two?"
Luke looked back at his daughter, "Why don't you tell her?"
"I, uh… I need some medical help," Rey awkwardly looked at the ground and rubbed her arm.
"Come on over," Aletha prepped the medical cot. "What seems to be the issue?"
"Rey's been bleeding," Luke replied.
"Oh goodness," Aletha said in worry.
Luke grinned, "From her thighs."
"Oh goodness," Aletha gave him a knowing smile. "How long has this been going on?"
"I woke up with it this morning," Rey confessed.
"Well, why don't you come over here and we'll check things out?"
Rey looked back at Luke, "You can go now, Dad."
Luke raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure?"
"Leave us girls to deal with it," Aletha chuckled at him. "I'll let you know if there's any issues."
"But you two are in the middle of a fight," Luke reminded. "Can I leave you both alone?"
"I'm sure Rey won't kill me when your back is turned." Aletha's voice was humorous, but after a moment her face fell. Concern edged her voice, "Right, Rey?"
Rey shrugged, "Maybe we can call a truce. You promise everything's going to be okay with Teng, Dad?"
"I promise," Luke vowed. "Call me if you need me. I'll be back in a few hours."
"Bye Dad."
"Bye Darling," Aletha called at the same time.
Rey glared at her as Luke exited the tent.
"Alright, first thing's first, let me put up my sheet," Aletha got up, ignoring Rey's hostility.
Rey frowned at Aletha's actions, "The black sheet? Is it that serious?"
"Sunshine, you are the most important thing in my life. If you came in with a papercut, I would still put up the black sheet. Now, come on, have a seat on the cot. What's going on with Teng?"
"He's been sold," Rey reluctantly came over and sat on the cot. "Dad's going to try to save him before Meru sends him away today."
"Well, don't you worry for a second," Aletha pulled on a pair of rubber gloves. "Your dad is an expert in that area. I promise you that tomorrow night, Teng's going to be all safe and sound. Now, let's talk about you. Where exactly is this cut?"
Rey bit her lip, "Aletha?"
"Yes, Sunshine?"
"…It's not actually a cut."
Aletha smiled warmly, "I know, Sunshine. Is it menarche?"
"Huh?"
"Your first period," Aletha corrected.
"I think so," Rey blushed.
"Hey," Aletha lifted up her chin, "come on. You know there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I've been openly talking about my own for years to make you more comfortable with the topic."
"I know, it's just… you know, still a little awkward."
"Well, you can talk to me about anything."
Rey looked away, "Not everything."
Aletha guided Rey's head back to face her again, "But definitely about this. So, let's talk about it."
Rey gathered her courage, "Okay."
"Have you been getting discharge the last few months?"
"Discharge?"
"Have you been finding stains in your underwear? Sort of a clear and sticky liquid that comes from your genitals?"
Rey blushed, "Maybe."
"Hey, no blushes, okay? This is perfectly natural."
"Are you sure?" Rey let the panic start to seep into her voice. "What if something is really wrong? What if I'm dying? What if I have cancer?"
"This isn't exactly the sign of cancer," Aletha said kindly. "But hey, it could be. Would you like me check you out?"
Rey hesitated.
"I'm your doctor, Rey," Aletha reminded. "I'll be a total professional, and besides, it's nothing I haven't seen on myself."
Rey blushed, "Okay… What do I do?"
"Take off your leggings and underwear and climb onto the cot," Aletha instructed. She helped Rey move into position, "Did your father give you my package?"
"Yes. Thank you for that."
"It's absolutely no problem. Make sure you change out those pads every few hours. They're biodegradable, so you can safely bury them when you're done with them. Lay back and scoot all the way to the edge of the cot."
Rey did as instructed.
"Good," Aletha put a blanket over Rey's legs to give the girl a sense of modesty. "Now spread your legs and relax. This won't hurt at all."
It took a few minutes for Rey to gather her courage, but she followed Aletha's orders. The Doctor was very respectful to Rey as she examined her, but Rey still squirmed in discomfort, not from pain but sheer awkwardness.
A part of her that had to have come from Felicity Rhiaon couldn't help but think that Aletha had definitely seen her father in the same level of nudity. The thought made her shudder.
"Definitely your period," Aletha finally declared. "Nothing at all to be worried about. No death, no cancer, just the natural cycle of fertility most females endure."
"And everything's normal?" Rey asked.
"As far as I can see. It did happen a bit sooner than I expected, but not out of the realm of normality. Plenty of girls starts at age eleven, twelve, heck some even start at nine and ten. You're perfectly fine."
"Thank you, Aletha."
"No problem at all," Aletha pulled off her gloves and threw them away. "I'll admit, it's a little nice to interact with you like this again. It's been a while since you came to me with your problems. I've certainly missed it… Not you having problems, but rather you coming to me with them."
"I've missed them too," Rey confessed. "But still, this is a little awkward."
"Would it make you more comfortable if you were wearing underwear?"
"So much better."
"Let's get you dressed, Sunshine."
As Rey dressed, Aletha explained to her all she needed to know about caring for herself while having a period. How to clean herself, protect her clothing, symptoms of things going wrong, symptoms of things going right, the different look of discharge throughout her cycle, and a million other questions Luke really never would have known the answer to.
"I'm glad I have you around to explain this stuff," Rey confessed once she was dressed again. "Sometimes it can get a little awkward dealing with it around so many boys."
"Between Luke, Quom, Dirk, Ivano, and Teng, it is pretty testosterone filled in these parts," Aletha chuckled. She smiled and let her voice be serious, "I'm happy to be there for you, Rey. Whatever you need, just ask."
Rey looked away, "It's not your job."
"You're right, it's not. But I'm happy to do it. With your mother not around-" Aletha cut off Rey before she could say something, "I'm not trying to replace her. Okay? You don't need another mother, and I don't want to take her place. Your father doesn't want me to take her place, okay? We would never let you to forget her."
Rey broke down crying.
"Oh Sunshine," Aletha grabbed Rey into her arms. "No, please don't cry."
"I can't stop it," Rey wailed. "I'm a horrible person, Aletha."
"You're not a horrible person. You were just uncomfortable about my relationship with your father."
"No, that's not it at all! I don't care that you're dating my dad. In fact… I love that you're dating my dad. I like the idea of you being my mom."
Aletha was overwhelmed by Rey's confession, "You do?"
"Uh huh."
"…Why?"
"Because… Because…"
Rey couldn't say the words.
Aletha released Rey and dropped to her knees so she was looking Rey straight in the eyes. Rey had grown so much taller from the time Aletha first met her that now when she made the gesture, she ended up staring at Rey's throat.
"Sunshine… Rey. Please tell me what's going on," Aletha begged.
Rey took a shuddering breath, and then admitted her deepest, darkest secret.
"I…I don't remember my mother!"
It was like a pail of freezing cold water had been thrown in Aletha's face.
"What?" Aletha exclaimed.
Rey sobbed, "I don't remember my mom… I can't remember anything before Jakku. I- I don't even remember meeting you and Quom."
Aletha stared at Rey in open mouthed horror for a long minute. Then instantly she pulled Rey into her arms and held her as the girl cried.
"It's okay, Sunshine," Aletha lovingly stroked Rey's hair. "Are you… Are you sure about this? You don't remember her at all? You know so many stories about her."
"Stories, yes," Rey sniffed, "but just stories. I know her no more than I know Han Solo. When I think about her, she just a faceless blur, and her voice is muffled and distant. I don't know her laugh, I don't know her smile, I don't remember her. The only thing I know is a distant woman's voice telling me- promising me that she would come back for me. Oh God, I'm a terrible person."
"No, Rey, no." Aletha sighed; how had she not foreseen this? "It's perfectly normal for you to forget your early childhood. Five is about the cut-off age, and you lost her when you were five."
"I'm scared Aletha. I'm scared that I've forgotten her entirely. That's why I'm so against you being with dad, of replacing my mother… because you are the only mother I know."
Aletha held Rey for a long time, whispering words of kindness as the girl cried in her arms. It was evitable with the timing and the fact that Aletha was the only constant female influence in Rey's life. To Rey, who else could fill the title of mother but Aletha?
"It's okay, Sunshine," Aletha cooed when Rey had started to settle down. "It's okay."
Rey gathered herself and pulled out of Aletha's grasp. She wiped her nose on her sleeve, but her eyes were still so wet and puffy.
"I'm the worst daughter in the world," she declared.
Aletha cupped her cheek, "You are no such thing."
"Yes, I am. I forgot my mother, and I've been treating my dad so horribly."
"You're scared, it's understandable. When Luke finds out-"
"No, he can't know! Please don't tell him."
Aletha gave Rey a kind look, "I will not withhold this from your father, Rey. He needs to know about this."
Rey sniffed, "I'm so scared."
"He's not going to be angry. If anything, it'll just make him scared."
"That's what I'm afraid of."
Aletha sighed, "Rey… I don't know what to say."
"Tell me she wouldn't be mad," Rey begged. "Tell me Mom would say it's okay for me to feel like this."
Aletha opened her mouth to tell Rey that she couldn't say any such thing, having not known Felicity Rhiaon well enough. But she paused when an old memory surfaced.
"Rey?" Aletha asked. "Do I know why I call you Sunshine?"
She shook her head.
"It's because of the second time I met your mother. It was about a week after our first meeting. Do you remember that?"
Rey shook her head.
Aletha smiled, "Then let me tell you the story…"
It had been a week since you and your mother came to Jakku. I was busy fussing with inventory or something when I heard a knock on my tent peg.
"Come in," I called.
A woman ducked into my tent, holding the hand of a little girl. The two of you looked so similar: ratty brown hair; tired hazel eyes; sunburnt, pale, dirty skin; and pained looks on your faces. You had an arm wrapped gently around your ribcage, and your mother's worried eyes didn't leave you for a moment.
"Good afternoon, Doctor," your mother pleasantly greeted me, even though she wouldn't look at me. "Mind if we bug you for a moment?"
It took me a few minutes before I recognized the two of you.
"Of course," I smiled and gestured toward my medical cot. "Please come in and have a seat. Fidelity was it?"
"Felicity," she corrected as she led you over to the cot and had you sit.
"What seems to be the problem, Felicity?"
"It's Rey here. Her ribs have been hurting the past few days, and this morning we found a bruise on her ribcage. I'm worried she broke something."
"When would the break have occurred?"
"I don't know. We've been careful since our last visit, so it must have happened during out trek."
"Well, if it is a break, you probably would have had more signs closer to the moment of injury, but I'll take a look. Mind if she lifts her shirt?"
You looked up at your mother for permission with such uncertainty.
"It's okay, Sweetheart," your mother stroked your hair. "Remember, this is the nice lady who took care of you last week. Doctor… Chimera?"
"Kymeri," I corrected.
Your mother got a strange look on her face, "Kymeri? I think I knew a Kymeri… Oh this is going to bug me until I figure it out. It'll come to me."
"You can call me Aletha, if you would like, Rey," I told you. I winked, "Or Ally if that's your preference."
You got this incredibly heartbroken look on your face in an instant.
"Ally?" tears filled your eyes.
"It's okay, Sweetheart," Felicity wrapped an arm around you and tried to soothe you. She looked at me and explained, "We had a friend who recently died that Rey called Ally."
"How about you just call me Doctor Kymeri, Sweetheart?" I smiled at you.
Your mother bit her lip, "Uh… Doctor? Do you mind maybe not calling Rey, Sweetheart? I've sort of got a thing about it."
I blinked in shock and confusion, "Oh, uh, sure. Is it all pet names or just Sweetheart?"
"Just Sweetheart."
"Well, how about Sunshine?" I offered. I leaned in to your mother and explained, "I like to be a little affectionate with children because it makes them less scared and more comfortable. Desert medicine can get quite frightening."
"Sunshine is fine," Felicity said.
So I had you lift up your shirt and set about examining you. A few minutes I came to the conclusion that one of your ribs had cracked. I had some cream with bacta that could fix bones by spreading over your wounded area, but it was a painful process to endure. I got your mother's permission to administer you a low level aesthetic and next thing we knew you were out like a light.
"There," I declared when I had finished applying the cream. "Give it an hour and Rey should be all healed."
"Thank you," Felicity looked away. I could see she was holding back some tears.
"Hey," I gently touched her arm, "are you okay?"
With watery eyes, your mother shot me a look like I was the stupidest person in the world, "Really? I'm stranded in the desert with my five-year-old daughter, my idiot of a husband is too damn wrapped up in the theatrics of his ridiculous family drama to think clearly for one minute and leave a single damn comm open, I'm depending on Unkar Plutt to provide for me, the First Order is hunting me down, I just spent a week walking through the desert with very little food and water, my daughter technically died, and you're asking if I'm okay. What do you think the answer is going to be?"
"Sorry, I get it."
Your mother raised an eyebrow, "I really don't think you do."
"Part of it at least," I shrugged. "My sister's a Captain in the First Order and has vowed to hunt me down."
Felicity squinted at me, "You're not Phasma's sister are you?"
"I have no idea who Phasma is."
"Good."
Your mother and I sat in silence for a few minutes.
"So, you're a Rebel vet?" I decided to make conversation.
Felicity looked down at her starbird tattoo in surprise – she had one on her right arm.
"Uh, yeah," she said. "Recruitment."
"Medical," I turned around and showed her my camp tattoo.
"Whose Batch?"
"I'm a Kenu girl."
"Obik? Really? Me too."
"Small world," I laughed. "Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Is it going to be something obvious again?" she dryly replied.
I smirked, "Don't tempt me."
Your mother let herself laugh.
"I was just wondering why you didn't want me to call Rey Sweetheart?" I asked.
Your mother's face fell, "It's a bit of a painful story."
I waited until she was ready.
"The term is special to me. It's what my husband and I call each other." Felicity sighed and stroked your cheek as you slept, "When Rey was born, I had quite a bad case of Postpartum Depression."
Postpartum Depression is complicated, and we'll go over it later, Rey, but for now just know that it means your mother had a hormonal imbalance and got really sad and detached after you were born. It's not your fault at all, but it's something that happens to a sizable number of women.
"I'm so sorry," I told your mother.
Felicity swallowed, "It was the darkest time of my life. I wouldn't even let my husband name her until she was three months old. Until then I just called her it. I… did something bad, and my husband and I decided I should go to a treatment facility where I could get mental health help. She was five months old before I could call her anything, and I settled on the term Sweetheart. It would because I use the term for my husband who was the person I loved most in the Galaxy at the time – Rey has now overtaken him. By calling her Sweetheart I was putting her on the same level as my love for Luke. Since then, the term Sweetheart has been quite precious to me."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that."
"And now here I am all over again being a terrible mother."
I frowned, "What do you mean?"
"Look at this! Look at what I've done! My daughter is hungry and tired, her ribs are cracked and she almost died!"
"Stop it, you are not a terrible mother."
"Yes, I am. I let her go hungry and thirsty and-"
"You let her live!" I exclaimed. "Give me your hand."
Your mother frowned but obeyed. I took her hands and placed them over your chest, crossed one over the other in the formation you take when you perform CPR. The bruise was the perfect shape of her hands.
"I did this," Felicity whispered in horror. "I cracked my daughter's ribs."
"By saving her life." I looked her straight in the eyes, "You performed the bravest, most selfless act a mother can do for their child. You gave her her life back. You used your bare hands to physically restart her heart. You gave her the very air from your lungs. That is the action of a great mother."
But still your mother would not rally, "She's still in great danger."
"Then she has one hell of a Mama Nexu to protect her," I smiled at your mother. "Honestly, you are one of the most amazing women I've ever encountered. Not many could have survived the desert trek, and even less could do it with a child and have you both survive."
"I fear what's to come though," Felicity confessed. "If Luke doesn't come soon… If the First Order gets here before him… I'm scared of the thought of what I might have to do. I'm terrified of what I might be capable of… Of the sacrifice I might have to make for her."
It seemed a weight had been dropped upon the room.
"What happens to Rey if I make that sacrifice?" she whispered.
Something stirred down inside of me, and I took her hand.
"I'll protect her for you," I promised. "If anything happens, I'll have her back."
"You don't need to do that."
"Yes, I do." I smiled, "We Rebels have to stick together."
She smiled at me, and then turned to look at you. Her smile fell slowly from her face. Your mother's eyes filled with tears, and she didn't dare look away from you.
"I hope she forgets this," Felicity whispered. "I hope that five years from now she doesn't remember any of this."
"She will," I said.
Felicity looked up in shock, "Are you sure?"
"I'm positive… because I won't let her forget how brave and selfless a mother she has," I promised. "No matter what happens, to you, to me, to her, I swear to you, I'll make sure she knows the kind of woman you are."
She smiled at me, "If something does happen to me, I'd be happy to have someone like you watching over her. A girl needs someone to watch over her."
"Yeah," Felicity whispered.
Our eyes locked on each other, an unspoken parallel and promise to not only protect you, but to watch out for each other passing between us.
"I'll watch over her, Felicity," I vowed. "And I won't let her forget you, I promise."
Felicity smiled and grabbed my hand, "And I won't let her forget the kind Doctor who was there for us when I couldn't be… I promise."
Aletha smiled at Rey, "Nothing else needed to be said between us that day. Sure, we made a little small talk as we waited for your treatment to finish. When it did, you thanked me and waved goodbye."
Rey's eyes filled with tears again as she knew what was to come next.
"The next time I saw your mother, she saved me from Phasma," Aletha looked down in guilt. "I let her sacrifice herself for you, and when Quom brought you to me with that terrible sunburn, I vowed to uphold my promise. That's all I've been trying to do, Rey. To be there like your mother wanted someone to be there for you… Falling in love with your father wasn't part of that plan."
Rey smiled, the tears shining in her eyes, "I think she would be okay with it."
"Really?" Aletha grinned.
"I have no idea," Rey confessed. Then she smiled and grabbed Aletha's hand exactly as her mother had done seven years ago, "But I'm okay with it. I'm never going to call you Mom, but I want you to know that you have been my secondmother. And I'll never forget the kind Doctor who was there for us when I couldn't be… I promise."
Aletha pulled Rey into a tender hug, and in that moment they both knew that things were finally going to be alright.
There's an ironclad rule of surviving as a scavenger:
All salvage is worthless until you've been paid for it.
- Rey's Survival Guide
Luke pulled up to Meru's with a trunk full of portions and an unwillingness to take no for an answer.
"Afternoon, Erso," Meru greeted, wiping her hands on a rag. "What can I do for you? Water? Oil change? Just a pit stop?"
"I'm interested in taking Teng off your hands," Luke climbed out of the speeder.
"Sorry, Erso, but I've already found myself a buyer."
"I'm willing to offer you double what you were paid."
"I can't do that."
"Triple."
"Let me rephrase that," Meru said. "I would love to accept the offer, but the buyer picked up Teng an hour ago."
"Damn it," Luke muttered. "Alright, where is he?"
"Hell if I know," Meru shrugged. "Probably put the boy to work first thing."
"Who did you sell Teng to?"
"Sorry, but I'm under strict orders not to tell you."
"What?" Luke blinked. "As in me specifically?"
"He knew you would come for the boy," Meru explained. "He didn't want you to buy Teng. Said he wanted to do that himself, and not having you get in the way. Almost held the boy back to see what you would give me, but decided the whole fee upfront was better."
Luke winced. While he had withdrawn a large amount from Plutt, Meru was right, he hadn't pulled the entire fee.
"Is there anything I can do to get Teng?
"You'll have to take it up with his new owner."
"And you won't tell me who that owner is?"
"Exactly." Meru gave him a toothy grin, "Good luck, Erso."
Luke sighed and rubbed his temples.
What was he going to tell Rey?
"I'm so sorry about Teng, Rey," Luke said that night as they cleaned up their supper dishes in the walker. The rosy light of dusk filtered through the cracks of the walker, signalling the impending bedtime.
"I just can't believe he's gone," Rey sadly set down the plates in a banged up metal box they used to collect dishware until it was time to do a wash.
"We'll find him. I'm not giving up that easily. Someone has to know where he went. We'll get him back, I promise you."
"Thank you."
Luke sat on his cot and watched Rey for a while. She grabbed her guide and laid down in her hammock as she started drawing something. He sighed and looked over at his storage crate bedside table. Two discs seemed almost to glow as they begged for his attention.
"Rey?" Luke didn't look at her when he spoke.
"Yeah, Dad?"
"Come here for a minute," Luke patted the cot, moving aside his blanket to make room for her.
Rey obediently put her guide away and joined her father. When she was seated beside him, Luke wrapped an arm around her and grabbed the top Holo.
"I'm so sorry that you don't remember your mother," Luke whispered.
Rey looked away, "I'm sorry I forgot."
"You don't need to apologize. There's nothing to forgive."
She sighed, "I know, but… I just wish I could picture her."
"Maybe you can."
Rey frowned.
Luke flicked on the Holo, the one that had been salvaged from their home on Rornian and was the only real token Luke had taken from their past life.
"This is you when you were three years old with your mother," Luke said as Rey gaped at the picture.
"She's so beautiful," Rey stared in amazement at the Holo of the woman.
She looked so familiar. That hair, those eyes, that nose, the smile… This was her mother.
"Yes, she was," Luke smiled at the Holo. He would have reached out to touch it if he didn't know the image wasn't solid.
"She… she doesn't look anything like Aletha."
Luke looked at his daughter kindly, "I promised you that I wasn't trying to replace her. My love for Aletha is separate from my love for your mother."
"I know."
For a long time they stared at the picture in silence.
"So why was it so hard for you to tell me the truth about what was going on with your mother?" Luke finally asked. "Why do this whole charade of saying you don't think she's dead?"
"Because part of me does think she might be alive."
Luke sighed.
"Is it so much to ask?" Rey queried. "To know what happened?"
"I've told you what happened."
"Not all of it."
"Rey, I can't tell you all of it. Not yet."
"I understand that, it's just…" Rey sighed. "It just doesn't feel real."
Luke closed his eyes. What could he possibly say or do to fix this for Rey?
And then it hit him.
"Rey?" Luke said carefully. "What if I could make it real for you?"
She frowned, "How?"
Luke sighed and swapped out the Felicity and Rey Holo for the other on his bedside crate.
"This is the footage of your mother's death," he held up the disc. "They gave it to me to show me what happened to her. They told me I had seven days to come get her. I showed up in less than one, but they had murdered her before I could get there. This Holo contains the answer to not only how your mother died, but why there was no body for me to bury."
He placed the disc in Rey's hand.
"I will show it to you if you want."
Rey's jaw dropped, "You- You what?"
"You can watch it," Luke said. "But only if you're truly ready. Only if you need to. The choice is yours, Rey."
She thought about it for a long time.
"I want to watch it."
Luke studied Rey carefully, "Are you absolutely sure you want me to show you this? It's going to make you very upset, and honestly, I think this is a pretty bad parenting decision on my part."
Rey gathered her strength and nodded, "Yes Daddy, I want to see it."
Luke sighed. He wrapped an arm around Rey and pulled her into his lap for a tight hug. She was so much bigger now; sitting in his lap had been something she long ago had outgrown. But they needed that intimacy for this horrible moment.
He knew he probably shouldn't be doing this, showing Rey her mother getting murdered. But in the same strange way that Luke knew he needed to have been electrocuted to save his father, he knew Rey needed to go through this pain to become stronger.
"Are you ready?" he whispered.
Rey swallowed and nodded, "Yes."
Luke took a deep breath and hit play.
He wouldn't put Rey through all of it. She didn't need to hear Felicity beg Ben for her life, Rey just needed to see the moment it ended.
For a moment, Rey got to see the image of her mother in a way she never should have to: beaten, bloody, hair sheered, crying, bound, gagged, and fighting for her life. They watched the blaster get lifted to Felicity's temple, and Rey flinched at the blast that set Felicity Rhiaon limply to the ground.
Rey balled her fists, fighting not to break down as the tears started to come. Luke just squeezed her tightly and kissed her cheek.
"It's okay," he whispered in her ear, holding her preciously.
"Is she dead?" an oddly familiar voice asked on the Holo.
The owner of the voice wasn't visible, the shot instead focused on Felicity's unmoving body.
"Check for yourself," another man instructed, though Rey didn't know his voice.
Rey's vision was blurred with tears, so she couldn't make out the details of the black-haired boy who approached her mother. She felt Darkness stir inside her soul as the boy kicked her mother's limp corpse, but something reached out for her. A familiar feeling, something that felt sky blue if she had to name a colour. The sky blue enveloped her soul like her father's arms enveloped her body, comforting and calming her as she went through the ordeal of her mother's horrific shooting.
"Turn it off if it's getting to be too much," Luke urged.
Rey shook her head, "No. I… I think I can handle it."
Luke sighed, nodded, and kissed her once more before turning his attention back to the Holo. It was now playing the part where Kylo unsuccessfully searched for a pulse.
"Nothing," Kylo declared mutely, drawing his hands back to stare at Felicity in shock. "Felicity Rhiaon… is really dead."
The camera stayed on Kylo as he struggled with his mass of emotions. Shock, horror, and maybe even a trace of guilt passed over his face.
Hux laughed in the background, "Well now, are you finally satisfied, Ren?"
Kylo's face scrunched together in a hard scowl.
"No," Kylo whispered.
Suddenly he lifted Felicity's body as he rose to his feet.
"What are you doing?" Hux exclaimed, clearly thrown off by the sudden change of plan.
"Taking her to the place she truly belongs," Kylo answered, striding towards the door as his aunt flopped bonelessly in his cradle hold. "The-"
The Holo shut off.
Luke frowned as he stared at Rey's hand on the Holo's power switch.
"I don't need to see the rest." Rey bit her lip and drew her hand back, "At least… not now."
Luke let himself smile a little, "You're very mature for your age."
"No, I'm not. I'm twelve and like doing dumb things," Rey let herself smirk a little.
"Well, twelve is the age of stupidity. Enjoy it while you can still relatively get away with things."
"I have two weeks of psychological torture proving I can't get away with as much."
"Call it psychological torture one more time and you'll get another week of it."
"Love you, Daddy."
Luke laughed.
Rey smiled, enjoying hearing the sound of her father's laughter for the first time in a while.
"Dad? I'm sorry I've been such a brat."
"I forgive you," Luke hugged her again. "And I want you to know that no matter what stupid things you do in the future, I will always love you, and I will always forgive you… I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
Rey closed her hand over her father's mechanical one, "There's nothing to forgive… Ever. I don't care if you're secretly Han Solo himself. Although that would be disappointing."
Luke laughed, "I promise, I'm not Han Solo."
Close though, Luke thought.
Rey looked down at the Holo, and a hand ran through her hair, "Dad?"
"Yes, Sweetheart?"
"Would you be okay if I kept my hair and clothes the same?"
Luke frowned.
"I know she's dead," Rey assured him. She gave a forlorn look to the Holo, "I can accept that now, but I still want to keep them in honour of her memory… Plus they're very good for desert living."
Luke smiled, "You can keep your hair and clothing however you want, as long as it doesn't compromise your safety. Did you also want to continue the count?"
Rey nodded.
"Alright then, but you have to promise that you are no longer going to give myself and Aletha a hard time."
"Promise." Rey paused, "Well… I promise to not give you a hard time about dating. Everything else is on the table. Quom didn't train me up for nothing."
"Maybe we should hold off on telling him that we've resolved our issues. You and Quom spending too much time together is a very bad combination."
Rey winked, "Yeah, and we enjoy every moment of misery we give you and Aletha… You know, truth be told, I think the two of you are kind of cute."
Luke laughed, "Yeah… we kind of are."
And for the first time in months, they didn't fall asleep in a cold, distant silence.
"Are we really going to save Teng, Dad?" Rey asked as she, Luke, and Aletha strode through Niima Outpost the next day.
"I promise, Rey," Luke's face was set with determination. "We won't stop until we get him back."
"How are we going to even find him?" Aletha asked, finding comfort in Luke's arm wrapped firmly around her waist.
Aletha bit her lip and glanced uncertainly down. Rey smiled at her, and gave Aletha a small thumbs up. Aletha exhaled in relief. It was a load off to finally have Rey's approval.
"Quom knows some people in the Sacred Villages," Luke answered. "If that doesn't turn up anything, I'll press Plutt to see if there's anything he can do."
"Dad?" Rey frowned as they reached Quom's tent. "What if Quom doesn't want to help us?"
"Why wouldn't he help?" Aletha asked.
"He hates Teng. Thinks he's no good and thinks we'd be better off if Teng just went away."
Luke sighed, "Well, that may be true, but he loves you. If making you happy means saving Teng, then Quom will do it in a heartbeat."
Rey hesitated as Luke unhooked his arm from Aletha's waist and ducked into the tent.
"Hey," Aletha hugged Rey's shoulders. "It's going to be okay."
Rey smiled and hugged her back, "Thank you, Aletha."
The doctor smiled at hearing the name, "Anytime."
They ducked into the tent together and found Luke in conversation with Quom, who was busy working on his speeder.
"Yes, Luke, I have contacts in all the Sacred Villages. What's this all about? OW!" Quom stubbed his toe on his toolbox, which was sitting right at his feet. "Hey! I told you not to move the toolbox!"
Luke frowned, "I didn't touch it."
"Not you," Quom waved off.
Aletha and Luke exchanged a look. It wasn't entirely uncommon for Quom to talk to himself… or complete nonsense.
"Please, Quom, can you call up your contacts?" Rey begged. "This is really important!"
"Okay, fine, MG. Anything for you. What am I telling th- OW!" Quom gave a low growl and shoved the toolbox aside. He bent down and yelled under the speeder, "What did I just say about the toolbox?"
To everyone's surprise, Teng Malar rolled out on the scooter from underneath the speeder.
"Hey, there's a lot of carbon scoring under here," Teng objected. "I need the toolbox within arm's reach so I can-"
"TENG!"
Suddenly Teng was tackled to the ground with a hug from Rey.
"You're okay!" Rey exclaimed, tearing up a little.
"I'm alright, Rey," Teng chuckled, reluctantly hugging her back, desperately trying to ignore the amused gazes of the adults.
It was her father's chuckle that made Rey realize her inappropriate position.
"Sorry," she blushed, pulling away. Teng helped her stand up, and Rey asked, "What are you doing here?"
Teng awkwardly glanced over at Quom, "Uh… Turns out Quom was the one who bought me from Meru."
All eyes turned on Quom, and the Vrogem looked away in embarrassment.
"That's why you've been working so hard these past few weeks," Luke realized. "Not to avoid us… to buy him."
Quom shrugged, "I didn't want MG to go running off and having an adventure trying to find him. Besides, someone's gotta keep an eye on this rapscallion before he wrecks serious havoc. It's my… civic duty."
Rey ran over to Quom and threw her arms around him in a tight hug. Quom chuckled and returned the embrace.
Over her shoulder, Quom shared a look with Luke. There was no need to ask why Quom hadn't asked Luke to pay for Teng himself. Quom would never dare voice the answer, and Luke didn't need to hear it spoken.
"Thank you so much," Rey whispered to Quom.
"Anything for you, Miracle Girl," Quom grinned, holding her tight. He caught Teng's eyes as he held Rey, "It was my pleasure."
Teng's face went a little red.
Aletha laughed happily at the sight and wrapped her arms around Luke's waist. He instantly returned the gesture, unabashedly pulling her in close in the open gaze of Rey.
"I guess that means you three have figured things out?" Quom asked.
"I told them the truth," Rey admitted. "So, what's going to happen to Teng now?"
"He'll stay with me," Quom answered. "I've got the extra cot. We can get a sleeping bag for the nights you want to stay with us… Teng of course gets the sleeping bag when you're around."
Teng frowned, "Why are you glaring at me? Of course she would get it."
"She better get it," Quom warned. "Otherwise you sleep with one eye open."
"Doctor Kymeri, can I come live with you instead? I'm scared he's going to kill me in my sleep."
"Sorry, Teng, but he did buy you. But Quom, no killing Teng."
"But Doc-"
"No buts," Aletha fixed him with a stern look.
"Oh man," Quom grumbled. "You got lucky, kid."
Teng looked anxiously between Quom and Aletha, "Are they always like this?"
"The four of us in general as a matter of fact," Rey replied. She grinned at him, "Welcome to the family."
Teng gave a less than enthusiastic smile.
"Yay," he said weakly, lamely pumping his fist.
Luke laughed at the group in front of him. Sure, they were no Han Solo or Leia Organa, but he was truly content with the strange little family he made on Jakku. He missed his legal family dearly and looked forward to the day that he got to see them again, but until that day came he had this family.
And this family was more than enough. If the past wanted to stay hidden for now, so be it.
What more could he ask for?
Lando Calrissian woke up, upside down. More specifically, he woke up lying upside over the back of the couch in his living room. His body ached from the uncomfortable position, his head pounding from the excess of alcohol the previous night. But as his blurry vision cleared up, Lando found that there were much worse positions he could have woken up in.
Han Solo was lying facedown on the coffee table.
"Okay," Han groaned as the men pushed themselves off the furniture. "We are definitely too old to be doing this sort of thing anymore."
"Remember the days when we could drink twice the amount of alcohol as we did last night and wakeup without even a hangover?" Lando checked to make sure his mourner's armband - a black piece of fabric with a blue morning glory embroidered on it, tied around his upper right arm - was still on him. He then pulled a face as he put a hand on his back, "I don't think spines are meant to be bent this way."
"Fliss was right. She always used to say that I didn't go on benders often, but when I did I went hard. Then again she once literally ended up in the hospital with a head injury from her bender."
"Alyla used to just say she didn't mind the occasional bender as long as she was the only woman I was waking up next to," Lando smiled. "Then again, usually she was the one to wake up on the coffee table. That girl could really put them back. I think the day I first saw how well she could drink was the day I decided that this girl was special and I needed to hold onto her… Well, that and about three dozen other reasons."
"Oh great," Han groaned. "I get an early morning dose of guilt over being a huge screw up of a father and having a kid who runs around killing family and friends."
"Let's get off the topic before we both decide we need another drink," Lando headed towards the kitchen. He paused briefly to smile at the vase of freshly cut blue morning glories that always sat on his dining table. "Cup of caf?"
"Make it two," Han settled down on the couch.
"Oh, I forgot to ask yesterday. How's Leia doing?"
"Recovery's going very well. She'll be back to yelling at me in no time."
"And they still think Ben did it?"
"Well he murdered your girlfriend and his five-year-old cousin. It's not out of the realm of possibility."
Lando was silent.
Han sighed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"
"It's okay," Lando said as he carried a tray with cups and a pot of caf to the coffee table. He set the try down and slumped down on the couch, a little less brightness in his eyes, "It's the truth. Ben killed Alyla and Rey. There's nothing that can change that."
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"Yeah, it is." Han rubbed his temples, "God, this headache is killing me. How much did we drink?"
"A lot," Lando answered. "I swear, I'm going to outlaw gambling here on Cloud City if I'm put through another night like last night."
"I just can't believe that Ducain guy actually thought I could get drunk enough to lose the Millennium Falcon in a hand of Sabacc."
"Well, that's how I lost it to you."
"Yeah, but I'm smarter than you."
Lando raised an eyebrow.
"At Sabacc at least," Han chugged his caf.
"I just feel bad for poor Chewbacca," Lando took a drink. "He got pretty knocked back for a Wookiee."
"I'm just thankful he's down in the hanger guarding the Falcon. I don't trust that Ducain." Finishing his cup of caf, Han scrunched his nose, "Hey do you mind if I borrow some clothes? These are getting pretty ripe."
"Now, Han, what kind of man just helps himself to his friend's clothing?"
Han raised an eyebrow in perfect imitation of Lando, "I have at least five eyewitness statements testifying that you wore my clothing immediately after freezing me in carbonite."
"Bedroom's three doors down on the right," Lando stuck a thumb toward the hallway.
Han got up and started to walk around the couch. He had a teasing look on his face, and opened his mouth to speak, but whatever wiry joke he wanted to utter was cut off when he suddenly tripped over a giant, furry mass on the floor.
"Chewie!" Han exclaimed.
"Rowr," Chewie moaned weakly, his hangover affecting him as badly as his friends.
"Hey Chewie," Lando grinned as Han helped the Wookiee to his feet.
"Oh my god," Han gasped. "Chewie what are you doing here?"
Ra grr ro row.
"Yeah, I figured as much, I mean why are you here?"
"Han, ease off him," Lando chuckled. "Wookiee hangovers must be killer."
"Lando!" Han snapped. "If Chewie is here, who is watching the Millennium Falcon?"
There was a silent beat as the horror dawned on them, and then all three made a mad dash to the door. They looked ridiculous and undignified as they bolted through the halls of Cloud City, but none of them cared. All that mattered was that their fear hadn't come true.
But when they reached the now empty hanger that had contained the Millennium Falcon the previous night, and learned twenty minutes later from Lobot that Ducain and his crew had disappeared from the city, it appeared that it was true.
"Oh my god," Han stared at the empty hanger with wide eyed horror, "I lost the Millennium Falcon."
The hanger was utterly silent.
And then Lando burst into laughter.
"Oh Han," he slung an arm over Han's shoulders. "I am so being there when you tell Leia."
Coming Up Next Chapter…
One Man's Trash
Luke doesn't know what to do when the Millennium Falcon shows up on Jakku, and Rey decides to build a speeder.
Chapter Question: As Rey starts exploring the Force, I'm struggling to come up with Force Signature colours for Teng and Finn. I've got colours for everyone but them. Part of me wants to make Finn some sort of yellow to represent light overcoming darkness, but I'm also keen on the idea of one having a red shade and the other to be a blue so they're both different ends of Rey's lilac spectrum. Please tell me your ideas and I might have some treats for those who come up with the final colours.
…Now to think of what those treats might be.