What's up, bitches! Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me~

No but for real, I'm really fucking sorry this has taken so long.

I have literally no excuse beyond crippling depression, working three jobs, college, and me being a lazy piece of shit.

Fuck this chapter tho lol

Y'all can thank my lovely, lovely friend Itachis-penis (i don't remember your ff penname, dude I'm sorry) because without her, I absolutely wouldn't have updated.

She sent me a snapchat saying "write more cat fic." She's great. I love her.

The days went by quickly, and soon, a few weeks passed.

Every time they got a chance, the Akatsuki would go outside and train. And during those training sessions someone would train me while Deidara trained Kathryn.

Now, I say someone because it wasn't always Itachi. There were a few times over the course of the couple of weeks that passed where I pissed off Sasori enough to where he wanted to "train" me. However, he mostly just kicked my ass and watched me wear myself out trying to fight him and insult him at the same time.

Hidan trained me once, but after he almost landed a really powerful punch on me, he was forbidden. Kisame flipped a shit when he thought Hidan hurt me. It was so sweet. I freaking love that shark. Once Hidan's turn was over, it was just Itachi and Sasori. Sasori only fought me when I was being particularly sarcastic and vicious.

And Konan was officially an angel in my book. She healed my shoulder. It took her a few goes, but in the end, she fixed the damn thing. I will never be able to thank that woman enough. She fixed me and didn't expect anything in return. There was no way I could ever make it up to her. Words can't express my gratitude. You don't know what a relief it is to be able to move your arm without hurting when you've been suffering constant pain for years.

At this point I was wrestling with Hidan in the living room because he stole my iPod and wouldn't give it back. Tobi was bouncing around us, cheering us both on.

Kathryn had tuned us out in favor of talking with Sasori, Konan, white Zetsu and Pein. Itachi and Kisame watched over us with Deidara and dark Zetsu.

I don't know how Zetsu was doing it either…

Anyways, once I had wrestled my iPod from Hidan with Tobi's help, Kathryn and I left the Akatsuki downstairs to go and take showers. I trained with Sasori today so I was especially gross and tired. He's such a tiny asshole.

Third Person!

Pein's eyes followed the two girls upstairs as they went to shower. He waited until he heard the water start before addressing his subordinates.

"Did you anyone have a chance to speak with Alice and Kathryn?" he wondered.

Itachi and Deidara both nodded.

"And?"

Itachi sighed. "Alice confessed that if the choice was hers to make, she would come with us without hesitation." He closed his eyes for a moment, recalling their conversation. "When we discussed it further, she admitted that she would rather Kathryn come with her, but she'd still choose a life with all of us in our world than a life here in hers."

Pein nodded. He noticed that some of the Akatsuki looked pleased with that response. "And Kathryn?" He looked to Deidara.

"Kathryn said she wanted to, but if it came down to it, she'd probably only go if Alice went with her, un," Deidara replied.

"So that's good. They want to come back with us." Konan's smile was matched by grins from a few of the others. "We won't have to worry about that aspect now.

"How is their training going?" Pein asked. "Still no chakra?"

Itachi shook his head. "None." Deidara nodded in confirmation.

Pein sighed. "If they do not develop chakra by the time we go, they stay. I'm not going to risk killing them."

"How much time do we have?" Itachi wondered. He felt his chest constrict at Pein's words. He didn't want to leave Alice behind, even though he knew it would be the safer alternative if neither of them developed chakra in time.

"We are getting close to finding a way home." Pein announced. "It won't be much longer before we can return to our world."

The others merely nodded in response. All of them were thinking different things.

Huh. Alice thought silently, leaning against the wall on the top of the stairs. She had been about to go down stairs to ask if any of the Akatsuki wanted to shower first, but paused when she heard Pein addressing his subordinates.

First Person Alice!

So that's what was going on.

Thoughts were racing through my head as I took a shower and got dressed. How much longer did I have with them? How could I get chakra so I could go back with them? Would they really leave us here, just like that?

I brushed my hair absently, wondering if I should bring it up with Kisame and Itachi. I'm certain I wasn't supposed to hear any of that, so it'd probably be better if I didn't say anything.

Damn.

I wanted to go out there right now and just hug the shit out of all of them. I wanted to duct tape Itachi and Kisame to me so they couldn't leave me. I want to immobilize Deidara and Sasori so they could stay here with Kathryn and I.

I wanted to chain Hidan and Kakuzu up so they had to stay with us. I wanted to force Zetsu, Tobi, Pein, and Konan to just stay here with me.

If they returned back to their world, odds were, they would die just like in the manga and anime. The thought of that made my stomach churn and a lump rise up in my throat. I didn't want them to leave me. Though they've only been here for a few months, I'd grown deeply attached to all of them. I absolutely didn't want them to die.

I slid to the floor in the corner of the bathroom and wrapped my arms around my knees which I had brought to my chest. My chest hurt. I took a few deep breaths to try to calm down and push the threat of tears away. I could feel myself shutting down to try and suppress my emotions because it hurt, but I mentally slapped myself.

I was not some dumb bitch in a romance novel that suddenly became useless and a shell of a person just because my boyfriend left me. Fuck no. I am a young, independent white woman, and I don't need no man.

Even if I really, really wanted that man. And shark. And all of their homicidal murderer coworkers.

I just need a distraction. Something to occupy my mind. I've always been exceptionally skilled at denial and running away from my problems. Because the only good problem was one that wasn't mine. So, fuck it.

I got to my feet shook off the emotions. I "noped" the fuck out of that emotional train wreck. Without really thinking about it, I started talking to myself—and I literally couldn't tell you what I was saying, but boy was I talking some serious fucking nonsense. I left my bathroom, and my bedroom to go down stairs and occupy myself with something.

I was completely oblivious to everyone else as I bustled around the living room and kitchen, muttering under my breath about anything and everything that didn't have to do with the Akatsuki. I tuned out the goddamn world and got started on doing some habitual cleaning.

Because cleaning always distracted me and either calmed me down or fucking enraged me.

Third Person!

"What is she doing?" Itachi asked Kathryn. He stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching Alice talk to herself and clean. When he glanced back at Kathryn, he looked a little concerned, but Kathryn didn't know if it was worry of what was wrong with Alice, or worry for them all because Alice was talking to herself like she was planning to murder them all.

Kathryn just shrugged as she leaned on Deidara. "Just leave her alone. She's in one of her moods. She'll snap out of it in a little bit."

"Does this happen often?" Konan wondered.

Kathryn lifted her hand and made a "so-so" gesture. "Meh. It only happens when she goes into her mental box."

"Her box?" Konan repeated.

"Her box." Kathryn nodded. "Something is either upsetting her or making her ridiculously angry but she doesn't want to unload, shutdown, or break something. This is her way of burying her feelings to get over it. She sorts through her emotions and feelings and then shoves the ones she doesn't feel like dealing with into the box, never to be seen again. It's not exactly healthy, but it's how she copes. She's done it since we were kids."

"What?" Kisame asked, squinting at her. "That's not coping. That's repressing."

"I know that. Alice knows that. But she's never been very good at handling her—" Kathryn made a vague gesture at her head, "—Aliceness."

"Why doesn't she just yell about it? That's what she usually does. It's literally never stopped her from shouting or breaking shit before," Sasori said dryly.

Kathryn shrugged. "This must be worse than normal. Alice making a bunch of noise and throwing stuff isn't really her being angry. That's her being dramatic. When she's really angry, she gets quiet. If she's upset about something, she usually gets quiet too, but she also fusses and does this whole cleaning and organizing thing. It just helps her sort her shit out. Think of it as her avoiding the problem by letting it float around in the air until it disappears and she finds something else to worry about or bitch about."

Itachi looked back at Alice. "What is she upset about?" His voice was quiet since he was asking himself more than anyone else. Alice passed by him to throw a few paper-towels away, muttering nonsense about how much space it would save them to just get sporks instead having all kinds of forks and spoons.

Itachi had literally no idea what she was talking about. What the fuck was a spork?

Kathryn shrugged. "I dunno. Did someone say something to her?"

All of the Akatsuki shook their heads.

"Then you don't have to worry about it," Kathryn said. "Just let her deal with it on her own. She'll probably punch you if you bother her right now. Or start shouting. She might even force you to help her clean and that just makes her even angrier because no one cleans to her standards."

Itachi really wanted to do the opposite of what Kathryn said, but he didn't want to bother Alice or upset her further. He wanted to touch her, and it wasn't just because he wanted to console her. He wanted her as much as she looked like she needed someone. All he could think about was him possibly having to leave her behind when they finally had to return home. He didn't want that.

"Just leave her be, Itachi," Kakuzu said. "She's…well, she's not an adult. But she is mature enough to handle her own problems by herself however she likes. You're not helping anyone by worrying about it."

"Mature. Right," Sasori scoffed under his breath and he dodged the throw pillow Kisame flung at him. "I'm just joking. Calm down."

Itachi sighed after a time and went to the couch to sit between Kathryn and Kisame. They all watched together as Alice obsessively cleaned the already clean house. She did wallop Hidan in the back of the head with a bottle of Windex when he tried to trip her as she walked past him, so that eased some of Itachi's worries.

Fifteen minutes passed before Alice suddenly stopped in the middle of walking to the kitchen for the twentieth time in the past ten minutes. She stopped mid-step before her gaze dropped to the floor and her muttering stopped.

She scowled at the floor, seemingly frozen.

"She's either gonna go right back to being normal, or she's going to kill someone," Kathryn explained like they were watching a documentary. "If she starts shaking, someone needs to knock her out."

Alice didn't start shaking or anything, really. Her eyes narrowed and she looked up at Kathryn. The expression she gave Kathryn was dryer than the desert around Suna. "You're an idiot Kathryn. Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

"And she's back!" Kathryn said happily, throwing her hands into the air.

Alice rolled her eyes.

First Person Alice!

I sighed and my eyes fell on Itachi who was watching me curiously. I gave him a little reassuring smile before sitting down on the computer chair. I rubbed the back of my neck until my eyes fell on the calendar beside the computer monitor.

"Kathryn, what day is it today?" I asked.

"Friday. The 11th."

I groaned and ran my hand over my face. "Shit. I'm late."

Kathryn's eyes instantly widened and she was on her feet staring Itachi down in seconds. "YOU!" she shouted dramatically, jabbing a finger in his direction.

Itachi looked thoroughly confused. "Me?"

She wheeled around to point at me next. "You! I don't wanna be an aunt yet!"

I stared at her like she was the biggest moron I'd ever met. Which, comparatively speaking, was saying something. "You're a fucking dumbass. Why would you jump immediately to that conclusion and make such a ridiculous deal about it?"

She looked confused and the outraged flare deflated a little. "So wait… you're not…?"

"No, Kathryn," I sighed. "Now quit shouting and being obnoxious. It's very rude."

Kathryn pouted, flopped down, and then leaned over to hug Itachi. "I'm very sorry for yelling at you, Itachi!"

Itachi still looked confused as hell. "It's quite alright. I'm still wondering why we're shouting."

"What the hell was that about, un?" Deidara asked.

I sighed. "I missed my normal period time. Kathryn jumped to conclusions, thinking that it was Itachi's fault."

"Wait… What?" Hidan asked with a hint of disgust on his face.

I rolled my eyes and looked up at the ceiling as if it might have answers to why I was surrounded by idiots. "My menstrual cycle is late. And since the most common reason for that is pregnancy, Kathryn assumed that Itachi was the cause. However, I can assure you that Itachi and I have not had sexual intercourse."

"Yeah, they definitely haven't done that. I'd know," Kisame drawled, looking amused.

Hidan squinted at him. "Would you?"

"I do sleep in the same bed as them, dumbass. I think I'd know if they were going to pound town right next to me."

Itachi closed his eyes like he was in pain and sighed deeply.

"If you ever refer to sex as 'pound town' again, I'm going to pound your face in," I told Kisame.

He grinned at me, sharp teeth bared. "You can't reach my face, pipsqueak."

Pein gave me a look of disapproval when I started getting up to go and punch Kisame in the face so I sat back down. He shook his head and then scowled at Kisame when he caught Kisame sticking his tongue out at me. I stuck mine out at Kisame and he gasped in offense, but I was already looking away when Pein's head snapped back to glare at me.

Konan cleared her throat to gain my attention. "What do you think the cause is?"

"Stress," I told her with a shrug. "It's not something to really worry about. It's pretty common for women, and it happens to me a lot. I've just been fairly regular for the past year or so, so that's why I even noticed."

"What the hell are you so stressed about?" Hidan asked, like an asshole.

I stared at him. "Well it certainly isn't because I have ten criminals in my house. It definitely isn't caused by the fact that I have a lot of shit going on in my life." I shrugged. "It must be because I missed the latest episode of Brooklyn 99."

"I do know what sarcasm is you know." Hidan frowned. "You're being bitchy. Are you sure you're not on it right now?"

"Hidan, I will decapitate you."

"Please fucking do, yeah," Deidara muttered.

"Don't. It doesn't shut him up. He just gets louder and complains more," Kakuzu sighed.

Hidan bristled and puffed up like an angry cat. "Hey! Fuck you, Kakuzu, you giant money-grubbing motherfucker, I'll put my foot up your ass!"

Conversation flowed after that, and I was absorbed in the love of my cat-people. Eventually, I went to sit with Itachi and he wrapped his arms around me while we all hung out. He murmured sweet nothings into my ear and when Kisame realized what he was doing, he started doing the same thing on my other side and I literally couldn't keep the smile off of my face. My heart was full and I knew that I really truly loved both of these idiots and their ninja pals.

I really didn't want to lose them. I didn't want to lose this feeling.

When it was time for bed, Itachi, Kisame, and I went to my room while everyone else split off into their usual sleeping quarters. I fell asleep easily in between him and Kisame that night, despite the troubles plaguing my mind. It was a problem for tomorrow's Alice. For now, I would just cherish every moment I had with them.

I woke up the next morning to a loud crack. I shot straight up in my bed with Itachi and Kisame who both instantly went into ninja mode.

My jaw positively hit the floor when I saw what the cause of the crack was.

Louis had kicked my door down.

Why the fuck did none of you punch me in the fucking face for writing this story? It's so bad, you guys. It makes me cringe so much. Like it hurts my soul. I had to take like 10 breaks while editing this because it was just too much. My writing style has changed drastically and the characters are so... ew.

If any of y'all wanna add me on snapchat, PM me or go to my tumblr or deviantart or instagram accounts and we can be snap friends. All I post about are my dogs and my cat.

My instagram: is danizpringles (literally only post pictures of dogs and cats, guys. Sorry)

My tumblr: me-and-my-big-d

deviantart (which I never use): Danizaraki

Fun Fact: I am currently working on publishing an original story (that is much better written, I promise). It's a urban fantasy, modern magic piece.

Answer: Comics and animated stuff, I prefer DC. I like the characters more. But I do admit that Marvel has the better live-action movies. Deadpool is my favorite Marvel character. DC, my favorite character is either Batman or Jason Todd (Red Hood). I prefer Xbox and PC over playstation, but I still like playstation a lot. Feel free to add me on steam under meandmybigd and on xbox under danizpringles. Pretty sure my playstation name is meandmybigd but I could be wrong.

QotC: Why is your penname what it is? Did you make it because of an inside joke? Is it a character's name? Did you just like the sound of it? Tell meeeee

ARC: Ummmmm... I don't think I've watched any new anime since my last update? I'm just gonna recommend One Punch Man since that's currently releasing its second season. It is literally one of the funniest shows with the best animation in the world. I would kill a man for Saitama. You can watch season 1 on Hulu and Netflix and season 2 is being released on Hulu now. Check it out if you haven't already. You won't regret it.

Thank you all for being patient and still reading this if you are. Thank you new babies for all of the favorites and follows and reviews. I am going to try to not take so much time finishing this up. Feel free to yell at me and threaten me to keep updating. Obviously it works.

Love you, nerds