(Edit: This was supposed to be up FOREVER ago (well, okay, Wednesday), but ffnet was being a little bitch, so...anyway, here it is)
Reviewers, it's that time again for the penultimate time (b/c I think I'll be posting a short epilogue as well)—my deepest and most sincere thanks to: junebugbug96 ('resolution of resolution'...ha. hahaha), Inu 13, Oriel Subtle, Anna Maria, hughes 247 (nope, haven't read that—I'll add it to the list!), livibug, SecretBlack (oh good, I love it when my random mind tangents make sense to someone else), Saralee (haha, sorry you had to find it before the last chapter was posted!), Jmh, freefallingx19 (so you mean this story hasn't affected people in amazing ways? Haha, totally kidding—I appreciate the compliment!), CinziaTwut (ah, if I had a nickel for every time I had to answer the age-old "Isn't James a Seeker?" question…..it's quite the epic debate, you know ;) Actually, I don't think it ever says in the book what position he played, but JKR answered in an interview once that he was a Chaser—and that's what it says on HP lexicon, which is sort of my go-to for HP info.), jasminebrooke, WobblyJelly, colouringcrayons, Bittersweet x (I fear for my life a lot around you…. ;)), jak23, Lucius Malloy, isigirl, emotionsonhold, maximum destined potter, I'm A Cuckoo, Miss larien, DarlingILoveYou, quest4candy, Quick4eva, ZoneSystems (whoa, German—that's serious! And thank you for all your lovely reviews!), Wander Higher, ErinFabu (I think I just might be able to make that happen…), 97chuckles (I'm so sorry to hear that—stay strong!), Evisawesome, blissedoutvixen, theycallherkaush, lollipopdiego, Can't we just be death eaters, GriffinRose, hoperocks98, Elless, Marinewife08, AliLuvsAlli-Sirius, Audrey, Tribot, Abi (duh, duh, DUH there will be a kiss! What kind of cruel person do you think I am, to leave you all without a kiss! Haha), Elizabeth Lullaby, Tabbycat270, Silver Scorpion, CountingColours, raoul, UltimateLoveStorys, HarryPotterMadFanatic, IIManzaII, MaCherieLoup2416, fisforphenomenal, skazmi, little miss moony, seriouslyblak (lol at your review), xLycheeRAiN, Taylorcutie, movinggirl, Loki,Uusoae, hp loverr 101, viva gal, tardisinthesgc (oooh, cyber cookies—yum!), Meeeee, Elizabeththecrazy, MaryandMerlin, Tarantallegra, MissArtemisFowl, zaurora, Penflyer, PoseidonsLittleGirl, arelli-black, OttoIsMyDog, MisszMarauder, ISolemnlySwearIAmUpToNoGood, RidingonRumbleroar'sback, Cookies and Cream1234567, unnamed anon, Hurricane Rachel (yes, that was the correct word usage—I also rather enjoy that word, and you'll notice I used it above ;)), and xxjenlovexx!
Some people were confused as to how Lily ended up in James's bed—I sort of pictured it as an I'm-so-tired-that-I-sleepwalked-into-your-bed-slash-my-unconscious-urges-took-over thing…..or something like that.
Oh, and there's a bit in here that will have most of you going "ha! I knew it!" And I'm not talking about J/L getting together, because, well, obviously.
This final chapter is dedicated to everyone, because you are all awesome :) And dear Merlin, I hope it lives up to expectations! (I'm nervous…)
Previously: Only if you promise to write back. (haha, b/c I, like many of you, love that line—which is sort of self-serving to say, but idc)
Chapter 35: We'll Find It
But James's first letter didn't arrive until the thirtieth of December. Though I tried to convince myself my generally sour mood was due to the fact that Petunia's fiancé Vernon stayed with us for the majority of the holidays, the sight of the owl clutching that letter made me shamelessly happy. At the first opportunity, I shut myself in my room to read it.
Lily,
I know, I know—I said I would write, and I'm terribly sorry that I haven't til now. Mum's been driving herself (and, frankly, me as well) crazy getting the house ready for this party. She's been working Sirius and I like house elves; in fact, I'm willing to bet we've had more work than the elves. Anyway, I promise to make up my lack of written correspondence by saving you a dance tomorrow night—I'm quite a brilliant dancer, I'll have you know.
Well, unfortunately I've got to go—Mum's having us clean the ballroom for the twelve billionth time. Honestly, I'm almost looking forward to the decoration bit; at least it'll be something different. I've copied out my address below, and my house is in a wizarding village, so don't worry about being inconspicuous when you Apparate.
See you tomorrow.
James
I glanced briefly at his address, before my eyes flicked back to the word 'ballroom.' I mouthed it silently to myself in disbelief. Just how big was James's house, anyway?
OOOOOOOO
I was still wondering the following night as I prepared for the New Year's party. Surprisingly, I hardly felt nervous at all, though I didn't expect the grace period to last. I dressed in a black dress that fell just above my knees and was low-cut enough in the front to make Mary grin knowingly, had she been there to see me. As I was curling my hair in the bathroom, I told myself that I wasn't wearing it down because I (pathetically) remembered James's passing comment on his birthday that he liked it that way.
Grabbing my cloak, I was out the door, but not after promising Mum I'd be home by two at the latest. Though I was technically of age in the wizarding world, I had another month to go in the Muggle one, as Mum was only too kind to patronizingly remind me. Plus, I got the distinct impression she had an irrational distrust of this party idea. Of course, considering its host, perhaps her worry wasn't so unfounded after all.
Hurrying through the frigid winter air to a sufficiently deserted area, I turned on the spot to Apparate, holding James's address firmly in mind. My first impression upon reappearing was that I must not have done it properly. Because there was no way the literal mansion before me was James's house. I stood ogling it for a good five minutes, taking in everything from the enormous windows adorning all three (!) floors to the four columns flanking the dark paneled front door. Finally becoming aware of the fact that my feet, clad only in strappy high heels, were absolutely freezing, I shook myself out of my reverie and started forward. As I rapped on the door, the nerves I'd successfully avoided so far suddenly exploded in the pit of my stomach. For some strange reason, I felt like tonight was my last chance with James. It had been exactly a year ago, after all, since we'd decided to be friends and everything had been set in motion. If I was ever going to tell him how I felt, it was now or never.
James opened the door, grinning. "Welcome to my humble abode, Flower," he greeted me.
I snorted at the vast understatement, entering the marble tiled foyer and surveying the grand staircase—one that almost put Hogwarts's to shame—leading to the upper floors. "You do actually live here, don't you? I mean, you haven't tied up some poor old rich bloke and stolen his house for your use, have you?"
James laughed. "No, this is in fact the home of my childhood."
"Have you got a map of it too, then? Because I think I might need one." I took off my cloak and started to hand it to him, jumping when I was addressed by a squeaky voice around the vicinity of my left knee.
"Please, miss, Effie can take your cloak for you, miss," what I discovered to be a house elf said.
"Oh! Er, right . . . thanks," I said, handing my cloak to the elf instead. She hurried away, practically buried beneath the folds of fabric. I looked back at James to find him staring at me, an odd look on his face. "What?"
"Nothing," he said, shaking his head as though to clear it. "Glad to see you wore Muggle clothes, though," he added as he led me up to the second floor. "I forgot to tell you in the letter that only the adults bother with dress robes."
"I honestly don't think I even own any," I replied.
We soon entered what was, indeed, a ballroom. A string quartet played on a raised platform along one wall, while most of the wall adjacent was taken up by a blazing fireplace. Two chandeliers hung from the ceiling, and several small tables were arranged at the far end of the room. Two longer tables stood near the musicians, one laden with hors d'oeuvres and small desserts, the other with goblets of wine and flutes of champagne. "You have a ballroom. In your house," I said disbelievingly as James and I wove through the crowd to where Remus, Sirius and Peter were chatting with Carin and a girl I didn't recognize near the drinks table.
"Impressed?" James asked, smirking over his shoulder at me.
"No, just . . . I can't believe you grew up in a place like this. It does explain a lot, though."
Evidently guessing where I was heading with that, James rolled his eyes. "All right, you can save the spoiled rich boy jabs for later. This is a party, after all, and you are here at my invitation, so—"
"Lily!" Sirius's voice rang out across the room, and he hurried over to meet us. Kissing me on the cheek, he declared, "You look absolutely spiffing tonight, darling."
I laughed. "You're drunk already, aren't you?"
"I may have sampled a bit of the dancing juice, yes," he said airily.
We joined the others, and I smiled a greeting at Remus and Peter, gave Carin an awkward little wave, and waited to be introduced to the final member of the group. But I was left waiting, as Sirius almost immediately announced, "Right, now we can finally join the real party."
Before I could ask what he meant by that, everyone started back the way James and I had come. Deciding to just go along with it, I commented conversationally to Sirius, "You know, you're actually supposed to do those up." I pointed to his tie, which currently hung loose about his neck.
"Well, it's really just for show," he said. "I won't need it where we're going, anyway."
For some reason, this struck me as suspiciously ominous. "Er, where are we going, exactly?" I asked James apprehensively.
He grinned, but left me with an enigmatic, "You'll see," as his only explanation.
And I did indeed see shortly afterwards, after we'd exited the ballroom and passed through the door immediately beside it. A much different atmosphere greeted us on the other side, one highly reminiscent of the Gryffindor New Year's party the previous year. The room was smaller than the ballroom, but more comfortably furnished, with couches, chairs and tables of various sizes and styles scattered along one end—the other had been cleared for dancing. Drinks and food were present here, too, though they were of a decidedly less refined quality than those in the ballroom.
"Your Mum's okay with all this?" I asked James skeptically, raising my voice slightly over the music that was pounding from magically levitated speakers.
He just shrugged in return. "As long as it's all cleaned up by morning and no one dies or gets pregnant, she's pretty hands off about it."
I shook my head, but couldn't help a—somewhat exasperated—smile. "So, who's Sirius's, er . . . friend?" I asked, gesturing towards the girl I hadn't recognized earlier. She was currently dancing with Sirius, the pair rather too close to mistake their intentions as entirely platonic, despite my choice of words.
"No idea," James answered. "I think he's attempting to get off with two different girls tonight . . . so we'll see how that goes," he added, flashing me an amused grin.
"Lovely," I said sardonically. "But Remus and Carin—that's still happening, is it?" I glanced over to where the couple was chatting with Peter, grinning in satisfaction as I spotted Remus's arm around Carin's waist.
"Yes, your matchmaking skills are unparalleled, Evans," James said dryly.
I elbowed him lightly. "Hey, now, I never claimed any credit for that. Well, all right, maybe a little," I allowed when James quirked an eyebrow at me. Teasingly, I added, "My record's better than yours, at any rate." James looked at me, the same odd expression from earlier on his face. Tell him, tell him, tell him, my mind chanted, but the words stuck in my throat, and eventually I turned away again.
OOOOOOOO
James and I talked with Remus, Carin, and Peter for most of the next hour, until Sirius grabbed me unexpectedly from behind and pulled me onto the dance floor. "You can't just stand around all night, Evans," he insisted. The next few minutes primarily consisted of him spinning me around as fast as he could, while I held onto his arms for dear life and tried not to trip over my own feet.
Laughing uncontrollably by the time the song ended, it was a minute before I caught my breath enough to speak. "Well, I think I'm properly dizzy now, thanks," I said.
"That's what I'm here for, love," Sirius said with a wink.
"And what's this I hear about you chasing two girls, Black?" I asked slyly.
He grinned deviously. "You hear correctly—so far, each is satisfyingly oblivious to the other."
I laughed. "Well, you'd better hope it stays that way."
Sirius shrugged. "If nothing else, it'll at least be interesting, right?"
And I couldn't argue with that. Moving back to where the others had been, I discovered that only James was left. Looking around, I saw that Remus was dancing with Carin, and Peter had managed to snag himself a dance partner as well. Turning to James, I said, "So, I was promised a dance, Potter."
He raised his eyebrows. "You're not expecting one like that, are you?" he asked, gesturing to the spot Sirius and I had recently occupied.
"No, rather unlike that, I'd say."
"Back to the ballroom, then?"
"Lead the way."
As we entered the much calmer room next door, James took my hand, pulling me around so I was facing him and resting his free hand between my shoulder blades. I immediately wondered why I'd brought up dancing at all, because being so close to James seemed to interfere with my breathing. Glancing down at our feet to steel myself, I met James's eyes again. He was grinning, and before I could say anything, we were off across the dance floor.
I let out a surprised laugh, nervousness suddenly gone. "Where the hell did you learn to waltz, James?"
"My mum made me take lessons," he answered.
I laughed again at that. "Oh, so were these after your painting lessons? No, wait, they were before your French tutor, weren't they?"
James glared down at me. "Sod off, Lily. It was before my cousin's wedding two summers ago."
"Right," I said, still smiling teasingly at him. All mocking aside, however, the lessons had obviously paid off. Even though my own dancing skills were virtually non-existent, it hardly mattered; James's expert leading kept me from making a complete fool of myself.
When the song finished, we started over to the drinks table, each grabbing a flute of champagne. "Told you I was brilliant, no?"
"Better than Sirius, anyway," I allowed, taking a sip of my drink. Glancing up at the ornate clock over the fireplace, I nearly choked. "Merlin, it's almost midnight already!"
James looked at the clock as well, before hurriedly downing the rest of his champagne and setting the empty glass back on the table. "Come on," he said, taking my hand and starting to lead me back out of the ballroom. "We don't want to bring in the New Year here—how boring."
The mood in the other room had become, if possible, more high spirited since we'd left, everyone excitedly awaiting the stroke of midnight. I quickly spotted Sirius, arms slung around two girls—the one from earlier and another I thought might have been a seventh year Hufflepuff. Apparently, they'd come to terms with the other's existence. When I pointed this out to James, he just shook his head in exasperated affection.
"Sometimes, even I don't understand the things he does," he said.
I was about to reply, when a shout of "Ten!" rang out around the room. "Oh, here we go," I muttered instead, and James grinned at me.
"Don't sound so enthusiastic, Evans."
As calls of "Happy New Year!" were shouted out, I laughed as Sirius dipped back each of his ladies in turn for a big kiss. Nearby, Remus was giving Carin a far more chaste peck on the lips. "You call that a kiss, Moony?" Sirius yelled as he passed his friend on his way over to James and I. "Happy New Year, Lily-flower," he said, kissing me on the cheek, before turning to James, grabbing his face in both hands, and kissing him squarely on the forehead.
"Now, I'd certainly call that a kiss," Remus said dryly as he approached. Looking around, I saw that Carin had been called over by a couple of her girlfriends.
"Aw, Moony, no need to be jealous; I've saved one for you, too," Sirius said, and before Remus could protest, he'd planted a kiss on his head as well.
"Merlin," Remus muttered as Sirius stumbled off again. Smiling and James and I, he added, "Happy New Year, you two."
"Same to you, mate," James said.
"Happy New Year, Remus."
"Well, I'd better go find out where Peter's passed out," Remus said, rolling his eyes slightly.
"How long did the poor sod last this time?" James asked.
"Oh, I haven't actually seen him unconscious yet, but . . ." he trailed off with a shake of his head.
"All right, go off and be responsible, then," James dismissed him.
Sparing his friend a brief frown, Remus departed in search of the fourth Marauder.
"Well, Happy New Year, I suppose," I said when James and I were alone again.
"Again with the enthusiasm; you really need to calm down, Evans, I don't want a big scene or anything."
"Oh, shut up," I said, punching him on the arm.
"And you'll have to stop being so friendly—I know it's the one year anniversary of our friendship and all, but just tone it down a bit, all right?"
"Honestly, James," was all I could think of to say to that.
He turned away with a grin, and we were quiet for a moment, watching everyone exchange enthusiastic-and often amorous-wishes for a happy New Year. "Lily?" James said seriously after a while, and his abrupt change in tone caused me to look up. "I never forgot that kiss, you know."
"What?" I asked, my voice coming out croaky with shock and my pulse quickening.
"At the end of last year, I—"
"What?" I repeated, all traces of croakiness gone now as I stared at James in disbelief and, I'll admit, anger. "What do you mean, you didn't forget it?"
James frowned, looking a bit confused by my hostility. "I mean that next morning, I only pretended I had no memory of the night before because—"
"Why the bloody hell would you do a thing like that?"
Now James looked angry as well. "Because you didn't want me to remember it!"
"And how did you know that?"
"Come off it, Lily," he scoffed, "you should have seen your face when you realized I'd forgotten—I'd never seen someone look so relieved in my life."
"But you had no right to do that, James Potter, no right!"
"So, you're telling me everything would have been just fine if I'd done otherwise? That you'd have blown it off as no big deal and we could have laughed about it over tea and biscuits later? Look, Lily, I did it to s—"
"Don't you dare say you did it to 'save our friendship,' Potter, because that is the most bullshit answer I've ever—"
James let out a humorless laugh. "Well, I'm sorry for even bringing it up," he said. "I just didn't like lying to you anymore, so I figured—"
"Shut up, James," I commanded.
Glaring furiously now, James said, "You can't ju—"
But I didn't let him finish. Grabbing the ends of his collar in both hands, I stood up on my toes and pulled his lips roughly against mine.
James froze in surprise for about half a second, before grabbing me about the waist and kissing me back just as hard. Just as he parted my lips with his tongue, sending all sorts of delicious little shivers down my spine, a dry voice said from beside us, "So, I suppose neither of you have seen Peter since I was here last, then?"
With a squeak of surprise, I pulled back from James, heat rushing into my face as I looked around at Remus. He was fighting an amused smile, and losing quite spectacularly. "Right, well, I'll let you get back to . . . what you were doing," he said, and with one more knowing grin, he departed in search of his friend again.
"Bloody rude of him to interrupt in the first place," James muttered, directing my face back towards his.
"Wait!" I said, the recent interruption bringing me back to my senses. "We have to talk."
Almost comically, James's expression darkened immediately. "Oh no, I'm not going to give you that one, Evans," he said, attempting to kiss me again.
I pushed against his chest to hold him off. "Seriously, James, there are some . . . things, we have to figure out before we . . . anyway, come on." I took his hand, pulling him towards the door.
James let out a resigned groan behind me. "You're the one who jumped me just now, remember."
"Be quiet," I ordered, now marching down the hallway in search of an empty room.
"If I disobey that request, will you snog me again to shut me up?"
Not deigning to dignify that with an answer, I pushed at the first door I came to. It was a bedroom. Hastily pulling the door closed again, I muttered "Shut up," to James, who was chuckling in amusement, and led us into the next room, which turned out to be far more acceptable for a serious chat.
After my cursory glance at the small library we'd just entered, I turned to shut the door . . . only to be shoved up against it moments later, James's mouth capturing mine once more. "Mmphf!" I protested against his lips, struggling to push him away again. He complied partially, releasing my mouth, though his lips continued to trail along my jaw. "James," I started, finding it exceptionally difficult to concentrate, a feat with was not made easier when James's mouth moved from my jaw to my neck.
"We can talk later," James mumbled, evidently guessing my train of thought, befuddled as it was in my own mind.
"Yes," I said, my fingers trailing absently through the short hairs at the base of James's neck. "I mean, no! No, we can't," I added hurriedly, pulling my hand away and pushing at James's shoulder.
With a large sigh, James pressed a final kiss against my collarbone and stood back, though only slightly. In fact, his arm was resting casually against the wall above my head, his forehead practically touching mine—in other words, he was still far too close to allow for rational thought.
I shook my head. "No, I can't think when you're leaning over me like that," I informed him, stepping to the side and around him. Surveying the room again, I pointed to an oversized leather chair against the far wall. "Go . . . go sit over there."
James raised an eyebrow at me. "Lily," he began, managing to sound pleading and exasperated at the same time.
I crossed my arms and fixed him with a stern look. "James," I said. "Go."
With another exaggerated sigh, James complied. I settled myself on a low table across from him, though at a sufficiently safe distance, and tried to decide where to start. "Right, so . . . talking," I said finally.
James sat back, folding his arms over his chest. "I can nearly see straight up your dress from here," he commented eventually, when my mouth continued to fail me.
Glaring admonishingly at him, I crossed my legs, kicking off my shoes as I did so. "Why did you set me up with A.J.?" I finally blurted out, figuring that was as good a place as any to start.
James looked momentarily surprised by the question, but then he wrinkled his nose. "Can we skip that one for the moment? I'd really prefer never to answer it, actually."
"Well, unfortunately I'd prefer otherwise. Talk."
"Fine," he said reluctantly. After a pause, he continued, "I suppose I had some stupid idea that I had to . . . prove I was over you, or something." He reddened slightly at this, and I found that I quite liked him being the one that was squirmy and embarrassed for once. "But that obviously backfired, and here we are. That's the short version and yes, that's all you're getting."
I nodded. "All right, I'll let you pass with that for now. But why did you deny—or, deny by omission anyway—that kiss? And I want your honest answer, not your angry one."
The left corner of James's mouth twitched up slightly at that. "'Save the friendship' was my honest answer, Evans. I mean, I'd have articulated it a bit more creatively, but that's the general idea."
"Don't think your mocking is going to distract me. I'm not allowing the 'short version' this time."
James sat forward, elbows resting on his knees. "Well, how would you have reacted, Lily? Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't have avoided me for at least a week."
My blush was answer enough; I had ranted to Mary for nearly an hour that night about facing James the next morning, after all. "Okay, I might have, you know, probably done that. But then—I don't know, maybe I—"
"Would have ditched Rookie and started dating me instead?" James asked, and I winced at the skeptical tone in his voice.
"Fine, maybe you were right to lie to me," I admitted reluctantly. "I suppose your other option was to tell the truth but then write it off as a mistake."
James frowned. "What?"
"You know, like you did after The Incident."
James raised his eyebrows. "The what?"
I blushed, realizing what I'd just said. "I—er—that's what I've been calling . . . you know, the night when we almost kissed. And why did you pull away, anyway?"
"Sorry, 'The Incident'?"
"Just . . . will you just answer the question, Potter?"
"Right—well, similar reasons, I suppose. I mean, I thought you'd never forgive me if I kissed you; I'd almost ruined things once before, and then I went and nearly did it again . . ."
I was starting to see why he'd seemed so angry that night. My first instinct had been right—he had been angry at himself for nearly ruining things, in his eyes. "I would have let you kiss me," I interrupted.
"And I didn't even—what?" James asked, blinking at me.
"I was going to let you kiss me," I repeated. "I mean, I didn't exactly move away."
"Well, I thought you were frozen in terror, or something."
"Come now, James, you're not that terrible a kisser."
James grinned. "You sure about that? I think the theory needs a bit more testing." He started to rise from the chair, but I scooted back on the table, holding out a hand as though to fend him off.
"No, no, no—stay where you are; we are not done talking."
Looking disgruntled, James sank back down.
"All right, so . . . so you didn't kiss me—"
"No, I think I would have remembered if I had."
"Apparently. But . . . I was furious at you that next day! What exactly did you think had caused my drunken rampage?"
James grinned briefly, but it quickly turned to a frown. "I thought it was because of Audrey."
"Well, it was!"
"Right, but I thought it was, you know, all that rubbish about me being shallow and such that you'd been on about all year."
"I never went 'on about' anything of the sort."
"And then, when I found out you'd broken up with A.J.," James continued, acting as though he hadn't heard me, "I figured that had something to do with it as well."
"But I told you it didn't!" I said, pushing myself to my feet.
"Yes, well, what was I supposed to think?" James demanded, standing as well.
"That I bloody fancied you, you idiot!"
"Which is why, after 'The Incident,'"—he said the words with a heavy amount of sarcasm—"you asked to borrow my Transfiguration book. Yes, how could I have missed that obvious confession of love?"
"I couldn't very well have done anything else with A.J. standing right there, you prat!"
"All right, fine, but there wasn't another point in the past month where you could have fit it into the conversation?"
"Well, excuse me, but I figured that after you called it a mistake—"
"I never said that!"
"You said you shouldn't have done it, though—"
"That's because I shouldn't have done it! And I already explained that so . . . so there!"
I snorted. "Once again, Potter, you've stunned me with your brilliantly persuasive arguments."
Both of us fell silent, staring at each other. Suddenly James grinned and said, "Honestly, what is wrong with us? Why are we even fighting about this?"
"Because it's what we do," I said, leaning back against the table with a smile of my own. "Merlin, we've both been idiots for . . . for the past several months."
"Well, I'd say that in this particular case, you were probably more—"
"James," I said threateningly, and he fell silent with a smirk.
And then, I'm a bit embarrassed to admit, I quite literally leapt at him. Seriously, I think my feet actually left the ground. James let out an oomph of surprise as I barreled into him, but didn't comment further beyond murmuring against my lips, "Are we done talking, then? Excellent."
Picking up where we'd left off in the other room, James began backing us up slowly until he stumbled up against his chair again. I think he attempted to sit down, but our limbs were so entangled that we ended up sort of falling onto the chair instead. Laughing, I rearranged myself so I was straddling James's lap, my hands linked loosely behind his neck.
"Sorry," he muttered, directing my lips back to his. His left hand rested on my hip, while he kept his right firmly behind my head, gently tilting it for the optimal snogging angle. Though I probably shouldn't have been surprised by it, I soon discovered that James was quite the expert snogger. Before, I might have considered what I'd gained with A.J. experience, but I now realized I was still woefully behind in the kissing department. So I let James take charge, while I followed his lead and tried not to pass out from the intoxicating heat that seemed to radiate from his lips onto mine. Of course, lack of adequate air might also have had something to do with my lightheadedness. But I wasn't about to stop for a trivial thing like breathing—we had plenty of time to make up for, after all.
As preoccupied as I thought I was with all the non-fainting business, I was rather surprised to discover several minutes later that James's tie was missing and his shirt had come half unbuttoned. Deciding it only seemed fair to finish the job, I undid the remaining buttons, trailing my fingertips lightly over James's chest and smiling as he shivered in response. Finally disengaging my mouth from his, I kissed the underside of his jaw and pressed quick kisses against his collarbone and the hollow at the base of his throat, before James tilted my chin up to kiss me again. The hand that had been on my hip now moved down my leg, and James's thumb caressed light circles against my inner thigh. When the tips of his fingers slid under the hem of my dress, I sat back abruptly, and James's hand immediately withdrew.
"Sorry," he said, his voice rougher than usual.
"It's all right," I replied. We stared at each other for a moment, both breathing quickly. The look in James's eyes made my heart beat faster and compelled me to add, "Maybe we should, um . . ." I stopped, trying to figure out how to ask that we slow down without sounding like a complete prude.
"Okay," James said, saving me the necessity of speaking. He kissed me again lightly, and I rearranged myself so I was sitting on James's lap, my legs dangling over the arm of the chair. James slid his arm behind my back, and I leaned my head against his chest, feeling his still-accelerated heart beat under my cheek.
"Did you want to go back to the party?" I asked after a minute.
James snorted. "Seriously? What do you think?"
"Well, all right, I was just asking." Another pause, then, "You know, I think I'm more jealous of this library than the ballroom."
Laughing, James said, "This was just my dad's library. There's a much bigger one on the first floor."
I sat up to shoot him an incredulous look. "You have more than one library in your house? How is that even—wait, did you say this was your dad's library?" James nodded, and I grimaced. "Now I feel like we just violated his memory, or something."
Grinning, James shook his head. "Nah, I'm sure he'd approve."
"If you say so," I muttered, tucking my head under his chin again. Looking down, my eyes fell on the white scars on James's lower abdomen, now revealed by his open shirt. Reaching out to trace them gently with my finger, I said, "James, can I ask you something?"
"I think you'll find that you can, Flower."
"Actually, quick thing first—you can't call me 'Flower' anymore."
"Why ever not?"
"Because, whereas before it was sort of a teasing nickname, it will from now on be seen as a sickeningly cute pet name . . . and I cannot allow that."
"Whatever you say, my darling sweet Lily-flower."
Letting out a little sigh of frustration, but deciding it was something that could be discussed later, I returned to my original question. "Anyway, that night," I started, brushing his scars again to indicate which night I meant, "what did you think when I . . . or, when you . . ."
"When I woke up with you in my bed?"
I blushed. "Er, yes, that."
James was quiet for a moment, and what he eventually said surprised me. "I'll admit, it was a bit of a shock at first, but . . . well, then I was less shocked by the fact that you were there and more by how . . . normal it seemed." He took a deep breath, "And that's when I knew I would never truly be over you."
"I . . . er, right," I said lamely, and James chuckled. I flushed, burying my face in his shirt in embarrassment. "Oh, be quiet," I muttered into the fabric.
We sat like that without speaking for so long that I nearly dozed off. Even though I would have gone back to the other room with James if he'd wanted to, I was exceedingly glad he hadn't. In fact, I was seriously contemplating never moving again.
"So, emotional distress, eh?" James finally mused quietly, and I sat up abruptly, fully awake now. "That was about me, then?" He was smirking slightly.
I glared at him. "If you must know, yes it was. And it was not funny—not that you care, evidently."
James's smirk only widened. "Sweetheart, you're not going to get any sympathy from me, I'm afraid. 'Emotional distress' basically defined my life for the past six months."
Though he was obviously joking, his words stopped me short. I'd never considered that all the shit I'd been going through the past month, all the torment and misery . . . I'd put James through that too. "I'm sorry," I whispered, kissing him softly.
"Don't worry about it," he said, grinning. "I can probably come up with some way for you to make it up to me."
OOOOOOOO
The next thing I knew, I was waking up with an incredibly stiff neck. Sitting up, I rolled my head around slowly. "You don't make a very comfortable bed," I informed James.
"Sorry—I'll try and work on that one," he said. As I twisted around to face him, he smiled lazily at me. "Good morning," he said, leaning up to kiss me.
His lips had barely brushed mine when his words fully registered in my ears. I pulled back so quickly I nearly tumbled off the chair. "Morning?" I exclaimed as James grabbed my arm to steady me. "What time is it?" Glancing over his shoulder, I saw that the blinds over the windows behind us were outlined in a faint grey-ish light. "Shit! Why didn't you wake me up, you git?" I said, cuffing James over the head as I scrambled out of his lap. "I told my mum I'd be home by two! She is going to kill me!" Retrieving my heels from under the table I'd been sitting on last night, I shoved my foot into the first one. "She's probably got all the policemen in a fifty mile radius looking for me; if she could work out how, she'd have the Auror department on it as well!" Hopping on one foot, I pulled my second shoe on. "And who knows? She might have managed that by n—"
I was forced to stop when James walked over and pressed two fingers against my lips.
"Sorry," I mumbled around them, and James dropped his hand to his side. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Right, I'm calm now," I announced, and James grinned.
"Good morning," he repeated.
"You already said that," I pointed out.
"Yes, and you hit me round the head for my efforts, so I figured I try it over."
"Sorry," I said again, draping my arms loosely around James's neck and permitting him to kiss me fully this time.
The door to the library banged open, and the two of us jumped apart in surprise. Heat immediately rushed to my face at the sight of Remus and Sirius, both of whom sported highly amused grins.
"Well, it's about bloody time," Sirius said. "Now I don't have to keep quiet about that damn kiss anymore. You should just know, Prongs, that there were about eight hundred and seventy-five times I could have told her, but—"
"Wait, you told them about it?" I said indignantly, fixing James with a fierce look.
"Well, obviously; I needed to tell someone about it," he defended, dodging out of the way as I raised my hand to hit him again.
"I should say he did, he was a pathetic and worthless mess that night, you kn—"
"Yes, thank you, Padfoot," James said shortly.
Turning my glare onto Sirius and Remus, I snapped, "And you were the ones who convinced him not to tell me, were you?"
"I was all for him telling you the truth," Remus started, but both Sirius and James shot that down immediately.
"Don't lie, Moony," Sirius scoffed.
"You were the first to suggest I pretend I was too drunk to remember," James added.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, I moved towards the door. "I don't know why I even bother with you lot," I muttered. The three Marauders followed me into the hallway, and I halted as I belatedly noticed the absence of the fourth. "Where's Peter?"
"Feeling a bit under the weather, if you know what I mean," Sirius said lightly. "Poor sod," he added, not looking as though he was sorry at all.
"You found him then, Moony?" James asked, smirking.
"Yes, no thanks to the three of you," he replied with a frown, though his lips still betrayed a hint of his earlier grin.
"So, what's up for today?" Sirius asked, clapping his hands together. "I wouldn't object to a little Quidditch—Peter's probably out, but Lily, Prongs tells me you're an excellent flier now, what d'you say?"
Rolling my eyes, I said, "First, that is not even remotely true, and second, I have to—"
"James!" a female voice called out from behind us. Turning, I felt myself redden again as a woman who could only be James's mother approached us. She was tall, her graying hair lighter than James's, but her eyes the exact same shade of hazel. James's hands jumped instantly to his shirt, which was still hanging open, and he hastily began to do up the buttons.
Blushing even harder at this, I waited for Mrs. Potter to explode as my mum would've done if she'd caught me with a strange boy in the house. Which she would essentially do as soon as I got home and explained where I'd spent the night.
But James's mother merely regarded me with amused surprise, before turning back to her son, eyebrows raised for an explanation.
"Er, right," James said, dropping his hands from his shirt and reaching around to pull me up beside him. Keeping his fingers firmly entwined with mine, he continued, "Mum, this is Lily Evans, my . . . er . . . Lily."
"Well, that's a bit possessive, Prongs," Sirius commented from behind us, sounding as though he was thoroughly enjoying the situation. "I don't think Lily appreciates being treated like an object."
James spared his best mate a brief glare before turning back to his mother, who was now glancing between me and James's still half-undone shirt. She appeared to be fighting a smile rather than the urge to strangle us, however, though I wasn't quite sure which I preferred at the moment.
"Don't worry, Mrs. Potter," Sirius went on, obviously picking up on her pointed glances as well, "I'm sure James and Lily didn't do anything I wouldn't do."
"That's comforting, Sirius, thank you," Mrs. Potter said dryly. "Anyway, James, the anteroom's still a mess"—I assumed the 'anteroom' was the location of the Hogwarts party last night—"and I would appreciate if you and Sirius could have it cleaned up before breakfast. Remus, dear, I know I can't order you to help them, but if you could at least make sure they actually do it and don't just throw the extra food at each other, I'd be forever grateful."
Remus grinned. "Sure thing, Mrs. Potter."
"Lily," she continued, and my hand tightened reflexively around James's in apprehension. But his mother smiled at me and said, "It's lovely to meet you at last; James has told me a lot about you over the years—"
"Mum," James protested through gritted teeth, and I smirked up at him, though he was glaring at his mother and didn't notice.
"Well, you have, James, and Lily seems like a bright girl; I'm sure she's under no delusions about how long you've fancied her."
"Merlin, mum, do you mind?" James said, face now as red as mine.
Mrs. Potter moved forward to pat her son on the cheek. "I'm your mother, James, it's my job to embarrass you." Turning back to me, she added, "Are you staying for breakfast, dear? You're more than welcome, of course, and I won't even ask you to clean anything first."
I smiled. "No, thank you, but my mum's expecting me. She's been expecting me for about six hours, actually, so I'd really better get home."
Mrs. Potter nodded knowingly. "Right, well, I'm sure it won't be as horrible as you think."
You don't know my mother, I wanted to say, but I just nodded politely.
"It's all right, Lily," Sirius said with a cheeky grin, "if your mum throws you out, you can always come live here—Mrs. Potter's very sympathetic about that sort of thing."
"That's quite enough out of you, Sirius," Mrs. Potter said, though her stern tone didn't banish the smile in her eyes. "I'm going to check on poor Peter—when I return I expect to find the three of you hard at work." After James, Remus, and Sirius had all promised to comply, Mrs. Potter departed.
"So, told your mum loads about me, have you?" I asked James teasingly as soon as she was out of earshot.
"I can't believe she said that," James sighed. "You're right—I should have snuck you out earlier; now I've got to clean all morning."
"What? How does that have anything to do with me? You would have done anyway, wouldn't you?"
"Yes, but she'd at least have let us eat first."
"Oh, so now it's my fault is it?"
"Nice to know the bickering hasn't been affected by recent developments," Remus commented wryly.
"Moony, you know full well it would take a magnitude shift in the very makeup of the universe to stop James and Lily arguing," Sirius said with a falsely wise air.
"And aren't you two supposed to be cleaning?" James said pointedly.
"So're you," Sirius returned with narrowed eyes.
"I'll catch up with you in a minute, after I walk Lily to the door."
"I think she's perfectly capable of finding it on her own, Prongs," Sirius said, folding his arms and refusing to move. "Don't think I'm going to accept snogging as an excuse for getting out of your share of the work."
"Come on, Padfoot," Remus said, beginning to drag his friend down the hall. Flashing me a smile, he added, "See you back at school, Lily."
"Bye," I said.
James and I headed for the front door, grabbing my cloak on the way. Stopping in the entryway, James slid his arms around my waist. "You could just stay, you know. As you might imagine, we have plenty of extra rooms. Or, since you seem to like my bed so much—"
I gave him a little shove. "No, I really should go. Not just to keep my mum from having a heart attack, but I know Mary would be annoyed if I chose you over her."
"And what about me? What if I'm cross that you're choosing her over me?"
"Well, like you said, I'm sure you'll think of a way for me to make it up to you," I said, stretching up to kiss him. When we broke apart, I added contemplatively, "A year ago I was making a New Year's resolution to be friends with you . . ." James grinned. "Guess I broke that one after all."
A/N: All righty kiddos, that's it! Well, okay, not really—like I said, I've got a short epilogue that'll be up in a few days. It's another letter one, and has (IMO) a much less cheesy and more satisfying last line ;)
As for the dreaded/anticipated s-word…..we shall see, dear readers, we shall see. I don't want to give you too much hope, because at this point there's probably less than a 20% chance that I'll do one. But I, like you, will miss this story so…..maybe. (Not sure if I should tell you this, since it might raise false hope, but I may or may not have written a James/Lily reunion at Hogwarts post New Years, since I couldn't bear to let them go yet! Okay, that totally makes it sound like I'm writing a sequel, but honestly, I have zero ideas at this point. And I really do prefer writing them pre-relationship. So, bottom line, it's a big MAYBE at this point.)
I was amused by the mixed opinion on it, actually—isn't there always one? Some people were like, "OMG my life is ending with this story YOU HAVE TO WRITE A SEQUEL!" while others were like "Oh thank god, I hate the stories that show them in a relationship." So, either way, I'm pretty much not going to please everyone….sigh.
Oh, and something along the lines of remembering that kiss/confessing his undying love or whatever was what James was trying to get out before the sleeping potion put him under in the last chapter. In case you were wondering. Okay, I think that answers all the major questions, haha.
Well, after that rambling and mostly pointless A/N, I bid adieu to you all! It has been an absolute pleasure writing this story, and you're all so wonderful for reading/reviewing/favoriting, and just generally being amazing readers! So, thanks!