Disclaimer: Hello my lovely readers
It has been a long time coming, but here is the first part of the epilogue I promised you 5 years ago (still can't believe I'm finally doing it!). As I've mentioned before, I originally wanted to write another 30+ chapter sequel, but found that I didn't have the space for it; Wide Awake was originally written during a very transitional time in my life that allowed me to focus on writing as much as I did. But in the 5 years since the last chapter, that hasn't been the case. I still plan to write more stories (I've caught the bug again!), but they will be shorter.
So there's a chance I may write a "deleted scenes" chapter after the second epilogue (meaning, there's one more chapter after this before it's all done) because there are so many little details that I wanted to include that just didn't make it – for instance, John had a whole backstory and love life, etc. If you're interested in reading them, let me know in a review
As always, here are the things I don't own:
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel García Márquez
Gravity's Rainbow – Thomas Pynchon
Ziggy Stardust and the spiders from Mars – David Bowie
And lastly, this is a monster chapter. I'm sure there are typos and there's a chance I will go back later and tweak some things. But enjoy!
I know how much I lean on you, only you can see the changes that I've been through have left a mark on me. You've been as constant as a Northern Star, the brightest light that shines. It's been you, woman, right down the line. – Gerry Rafferty, 1978
"Almost time, boys!"
James Potter felt his stomach drop; he stumbled over to a chair and quickly sat down, trying to slow his breathing and racing heart. He ignored the portrait of his grandfather, Henry Potter, who was looking at him disapprovingly.
"I think I'm going to be sick."
"No, you're not. You're going to be fine," Remus reassured.
"It's just nerves, mate," added Peter.
"Yeah, Wormy's right. Just nerves," Sirius agreed. He reached into his dress robes pocket and pulled out a silver flask. Henry rolled his eyes. "Drink this. It'll help." James immediately seized it, not asking what exactly Sirius was offering him before taking a large swig from the flask. The liquid burned his insides as it trickled down to his stomach.
"Bloody hell!"
"Padfoot!" Remus chided. "What did you give him, a potion? He's about to get married, he can't be incoherent!"
"It's just firewhiskey. A really expensive vintage with a lot more fire, but whiskey none the less."
"Give us more of that then."
"No way, Prongs," Sirius laughed. "Lily will have my head if you show up drunk to the ceremony."
"Youths," Henry grumbled. "Come on boy, there are bigger things to worry about than a wedding!"
"Ugh," James groaned as he slumped back in his chair, ignoring Henry again. "Why does this whole thing have to be so formal? Why can't we just sign a piece of Ministry paper and be done with it?"
"Well, you could have," Peter pointed out. "You just didn't want to."
"Well, what if I do now?"
"We're not calling off your wedding ceremony, don't be daft," Remus sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Sirius rolled his eyes and made his way over to the nervous groom, shaking him a bit.
"James," he said, dropping his nickname for impact, "you're finally marrying the Lily Evans - something you've dreamed about for ages. You are not going to back out of this."
"The vows aren't the problem, it's just doing them in front of people that's maddening!"
"I don't know why you're so worried, you really didn't invite that many guests," said Peter.
James grimaced, for it was true. They'd decided to hold a small autumn wedding ceremony and reception in the backyard of Potter Manor; the War had started to gain momentum after their recent graduation from Hogwarts and James and Lily didn't want to risk inviting any danger to their happy day, especially after they'd received an invitation to join Voldemort's ranks and defied him. Their guests only included their close friends and family.
When the other Marauders and his grandfather stayed silent with nothing else to add, James stood up from his chair and wandered over to the window overlooking the grounds. He spied his mother doing some last minute adjustments to the small gazebo at the end of the aisle and bit his lip.
"James, it's time." He shuddered and turned to see his father, Fleamont, standing in the doorway.
"Thank you," Henry muttered. "Someone else who can talk some sense into the boy."
"Sense?" Fleamont asked his father.
"Yes, sense! Your son is a nervous Nellie, all over a little ceremony! In my day, we had legitimate things to worry about, like the First Muggle World War as I reminded Minister Evermonde." James shook his head and chuckled slightly. His grandfather always brought up the minor stir he'd created by criticizing the Minister while sitting on the Wizengamot. "And then there was Grindelwald, now this Lord Voldemort fellow -"
"Ah, pre wedding jitters, I see," Fleamont grinned, cutting his father off. "Perfectly normal. In fact, I had them myself."
"You did?" James said, his jaw dropping slightly. "You never told me that."
"Did he ever," Henry said, rolling his eyes. "I had to -"
"Now come along, follow me," Fleamont butt in, diverting everyone's attention away from Henry. When James hesitated, Fleamont motioned for him to follow and James gulped; he trudged out of the room, his friends following. But instead of leading them downstairs to the ceremony, Fleamont suddenly looked both ways and motioned for all of them to tuck into an alcove for some privacy. James looked at his friends and grinned, perking up a bit.
"I'm sorry about your grandfather. I thought it might be nice to speak with him before your wedding – you know, have a moment with family - but it seems he gave you the same treatment he gave me on my wedding day. I should have known, given the times."
"He was that angry, on your day?"
"Angry isn't how I'd put it. Concerned might be better. He was an administrator during a dark time in Muggle history. And when he saw Grindelwald gaining power, he thought history was going to repeat itself. That's why he told me there were bigger things to worry about – and the same to you, now that he sees Voldemort."
"So how did you get past your nerves?"
"Well to start, firewhiskey."
"Ha!" Sirius barked. He grabbed his flask and held it out in front of Fleamont. "Already provided." The elder Potter smirked before tipping his head back for a small sip.
"Is this a Lagavulin firewhiskey? From … the Twenties?"
"It is indeed," Sirius answered. James could tell he was impressed that Fleamont could discern that information from a tiny taste.
"I knew I always loved you," Fleamont chuckled, giving him a half hug. A rare blush crept into Sirius' cheeks. "And the second thing was a simple shift in mindset. What I had to see was that your grandfather's message stopped short of the true wisdom it's supposed to provide. It is indeed a dark time, as it was when Grindelwald was starting to gain power. But we have to combat hate with a celebration of love and that's what today is all about. Think about it this way. This is your true act of defiance. The two of you have a fierce bond – you already know that – and it should be celebrated and projected into the world. Love is a special kind of magic you know, that we don't fully understand, but we need it to win against evil."
James took a deep breath as the message started to sink in with the help of Sirius' firewhiskey. As he exhaled, he felt his shoulders drop from his ears and start to relax. A warm, fuzzy feeling dripped down his spine and his stomach started to undo its knots.
"I love you very much, you know," Fleamont said as he placed his wrinkled hands on James' shoulders. "Your mother and I are immensely proud of you. We didn't think we'd be able to have a child and then you came along and surprised us late in life." James saw tears start to gather in his eyes. "I hope one day I can be there for your son or daughter's wedding."
James inhaled sharply and immediately hugged his father as a few tears escaped his own eyes. He was so overwhelmed with different emotions; Fleamont's encouragement had pulled him out of his head, but he knew that his father might not be able to see his grandchild's wedding. He was already showing slight symptoms of Dragon Pox.
"I love you, son."
"I love you too, Dad."
"Fleamont! Boys! Places!" his mother called. Fleamont gave him one last squeeze before pulling away and both men wiped their eyes and laughed. James looked over at his friends; Peter gave him a thumbs up, Remus nodded with encouragement and Sirius playfully smirked. His spirits lifted even higher.
"See you soon, gents."
And with that, James headed towards the front of the aisle while his father and friends went to the back. He took in a deep breath as he watched Lily's mother start the ceremony by walking to her seat on the left side of the aisle, followed by his own parents sitting to the right. His nervous energy was nowhere in sight as he stepped out onto the altar and waited for the rest of the wedding party. He even caught his father's gaze and winked.
For James was on cloud nine and would be for the rest of the day; after taking Fleamont's advice, everything he experienced radiated with pure love. He stood with confidence, knowing that marrying Lily in front of their friends and family was a magical event full of good will, not a nervewracking tradition.
The ceremony progressed as Peter and Molly Weasley walked down the aisle together to take their places. James smiled, silently giving thanks to the both of them for being present. Molly had been supporting Lily like an older sister ever since they'd joined the Order and stepped in as a bridesmaid after Petunia threw a fit and decided not to come. Peter, on the other hand, had been extremely distant since his break up with Aeryn. He had his own flat in London and worked at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to collect information for the Order, but never seemed truly happy. James thought that he might not have shown up today, but here he was, supporting James through his own dark time.
Remus and Marianne were the next ones down the aisle; James' smile turned into a large grin as he felt the love between them. He suspected they might have their own wedding someday, although it was going to take some heavy convincing for Remus to agree to an illegal marriage between a werewolf and a witch. But for the time being, he knew they were supporting each other as they saved enough money to move into their own place. James would have loved to have them as neighbors in Godric's Hollow, but knew it was a little out of their price range.
Alice, the Maid of Honor, nervously glanced at her husband Frank as she walked down the aisle with Sirius, the Best Man; Frank nodded appreciatively and encouraged her to keep moving. The Longbottoms had been on a recent Auror mission in Wales to try and stop an attack from happening and had run into Lord Voldemort himself. They openly defied him in battle, which was an amazing feat for such young Aurors and gained some press in the Prophet, but Frank came back with a broken hip that he was still recovering from. When the couple parted ways at the end of the aisle, Siriustook a moment to stop in front of James. He smiled, reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Well done, mate."
There was a glint of respect in his eyes and James suspected it had to do with Gemma; Sirius had asked him a few weeks earlier about how to properly give a woman space and now saw the results of James deciding to do the same with Lily.
Sirius finally took his place as soft string music started to play. A few moments later, James felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw Lily standing with her father in a romantic style, long sleeve and lace wedding dress; her beauty and love overpowered him, even from a distance. They slowly walked down the aisle towards the gazebo as most of the guests dabbed their eyes and held each other.
Lily hugged her father and took her place beside James. He could have sworn he felt sparks fly as they held hands and listened to Elphias Dodge, their Ministry officiant, greet the audience and begin the ceremony. They'd decided to keep it short, but James knew it would be impactful. Not just for each other, but as his father reminded him, for the universe.
"We now celebrate the union of James Potter and Lily Evans." Elphias turned to face the couple. "James and Lily, your marriage today is the public and legal joining of your souls that have already been united as one in your hearts. And after this ceremony today, your marriage will allow you to share your lives together in a new way, standing to face the world, hand-in-hand. We wish you all the best in your future endeavors." He heard sniffles from the audience, even a few trumpeting sounds of people blowing their noses.
"And now for the vows."
Lily smiled and squeezed his hand. "James. I vow to love you, trust you, grow with you and laugh with you. I accept you as you are, and I offer myself in return. I will care for you, stand beside you and share with you all of life's adversities and joys from this day forward, and all the days of my life."
He didn't hold back his tears. He knew this moment would fuel his patronus for many years to come. "Lily. I vow to love you, listen to you, encourage you and support you. I vow not just to grow old together, but to grow together. I will love you faithfully through the difficult and the easy. What may come, I will always be there, because our love will never die."
"Now, the rings if you please."
It took a moment for Sirius to remember that he had the rings in his pocket; the crowd laughed. Elphias then handed a small diamond ring to James and instructed him to put it on Lily's finger.
"James, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do."
Elphias handed a small gold band to Lily, instructing her to do the same to James.
"Lily, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do."
"Then, with the power vested in me by the Ministry of Magic, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
James and Lily flew together, unable to wait any longer to hold each other; the guests erupted into cheers. Their kiss sent shivers down James' spine and he snaked his arms around her waist as they continued to communicate their love and passion for each other through their lips. After coming up for air, the couple raised their hands and waved to guests as they walked down the aisle, their wedding party following.
"James, Lily - a moment for a quick photo before the official ones?" Sirius asked once they tucked into an alcove inside the house to wait for the guests to clear so they could go back and take pictures. He pulled out a small magical camera from his pocket, brimming with excitement. "Wormy take it for us, won't you? I want to capture this feeling before it goes away!"
"Merlin Sirius, it's not even your day," Alice snickered.
"Oh come on, get over here!" Lily exclaimed. She put her hand in his, feeling the energy along with everyone else, and dragged James over. "Have to capture it, don't we?"
"We certainly do," James laughed, thinking of his father. Peter rolled his eyes, but took the camera as Sirius jumped in and stood next to Lily. James gave him a quick hug before waving to the camera and giving his best smile, not knowing that his son would see the photo one day, many years in the future after his death.
There, right in front of him on a sparkling red plate, were some bangers. Luscious bangers, along with eggs, beans and tomatoes that made his mouth water. He reached out to grab the plate and –
Remus Lupin's stomach grumbled, pulling him out of his dream. He groaned as his eyes fluttered open, very disappointed; his monthly transformation was in a few days and making him crave breakfast food. He really wanted what was on that sparkly red plate. But his nose twitched. He smelled the same ingredients, but wasn't sure if it was just a remnant of his dream or really happening. Although part of Remus wanted to stay in bed, he forced himself to ignore his pounding headache, get up, put some clothes on and wander into the kitchen to get some coffee, where he found Marianne making breakfast.
"It was real," he said, amazed.
"What, dear?" she called over her shoulder, finishing up with a wave of her wand.
"The smell," he answered. "I had a dream about the very breakfast you're making and then woke up to the smell of it and thought I was bonkers …"
"You aren't bonkers," Marianne laughed as she plated their food and set it down on their small, second hand dining table. "You talk in your sleep, yes, but you aren't crazy."
"Oh? What do I say?" he asked playfully, taking his place. "That I love you?"
"Lately you've been grumbling about wanting a big proper breakfast," Marianne smirked as she put her hands on her hips. He stopped pouring his coffee. "I thought if I made you some, you might stop dreaming about it and let me sleep."
"I'm sorry," Remus whispered, his tone a departure from their earlier lightheartedness. The mood turned serious; he looked to his plate and gulped, not wanting the breakfast anymore. He hated that his monthly symptoms were keeping her up at night.
"Oh no," Marianne cooed as she sat down next to him, placing her hand on his. "No, no, I didn't mean to make you feel guilty, I was joking. I really just wanted to do something nice, since your transformation is coming … and today's also a special day."
He almost asked what day it was, since time tended to get a little hazy around the Full Moon, but then remembered that it was Sunday, the day he had invited Gemma to come by and visit their small apartment for tea – to catch up, after briefly running into each other at Slug and Jiggers Apothecary in Diagon Alley. He'd been slightly dreading it all week, but Remus' looked up to see Marianne holding back excitement. He felt his shoulders automatically release a bit of tension; seeing her smile tended to do that.
"Thank you. This is really wonderful, you didn't have to do this."
"You're welcome."
As Marianne dove into her breakfast, Remus took a moment to pause and drink in the scene before him. Sometimes he still had to pinch himself to check that he was really living on his own in Hogsmeade with a job at The Purple Inkpot. And furthermore, he was living with the woman of his dreams, someone he never thought he would be able to openly date.
It hadn't been easy for them after their Hogwarts graduation, but they'd managed. With no family to go home to, Marianne accepted the Potters' offer to let her stay at their Manor, just as they had done for Sirius. Remus moved in with his parents, but hated being apart from her; his first transformation home had been a disaster, even with the rest of the Marauders guiding him through it.
She started working as a shopkeep at a local Wizarding grocer. It wasn't her first choice, but her family had blacklisted her from the Ministry career paths she'd wanted to take. He eventually got a job at The Purple Inkpot and floo-ed to work every day from his parents' home to save money; Smithers couldn't pay him much, but it was something. Once he got home, he always tried to ignore his traveling nausea, scarf down dinner and turn around to floo to Potter Manor to see Marianne. The constant state of motion and stress caused him to lose sleep after awhile, but he couldn't stop. Not after everyone started planning for James and Lily's ceremony and certainly not after James' parents died of Dragon Pox shortly after the wedding.
James extended his parents' offer to let Marianne stay, but she thought it didn't feel right, with them passing and transferring the house ownership to someone who didn't live there. She still had her job, but knew it wouldn't pay enough for her to live on her own. Even if Remus lived with her, they still couldn't afford a small flat for the both of them. They needed to save a lot more money before that would happen.
James eventually decided to sell the Manor and put the profits and family treasures in his Gringotts vault. He knew his decision would put Marianne in an awkward position, so he made her an offer; move in with Remus and both of you contribute what you can, but I will pay for the rest of the monthly rent. Remus didn't want to accept it at first, but Marianne jumped at the chance.
They decided to move up to Hogsmeade to shorten his commute and Marianne quit her job to find something else; she eventually got an assistant's position in town at an underfunded and desperate activist law office. As they set up their home together and started forming their new routines, Marianne quickly figured out about the Order and joined herself. It was then that they just clicked. They were on their own now, but no matter what happened, they knew they had each other to lean on. Remus had never been this happy before, even though the War was starting to cause more deaths and disappearances than ever.
"What?"
"Hmmm?"
"You're staring. And quiet. What's going on in that head of yours?"
"Oh," Remus blushed. "Nothing. Just thinking about how much I love you."
"You're sweet," Marianne smiled appreciatively. She took another sip of coffee and leaned back in her chair. She looked out the window at the dumping snow and started giggling.
"Now what's going on in that head of yours? There's no possible way the storm is making you this giddy."
"Oh, aren't you excited about seeing Gemma again? I haven't been around her in ages. It was before … " She didn't finish her thought, but Remus knew she was referring to being disowned. "I know the two of you were close, so it must have been nice to run into her."
It was nice; although Remus hated to admit it, he missed having the Seer in his life. She was a comforting presence and the invitation to tea just fell right out of his mouth. But he was still hurt that he hadn't heard a word from Gemma after seeing her on the last night of term; she'd explained a lot, but never reached out afterwards. He knew she was keeping in loose contact with Sirius, but he didn't like to talk about their friendship, even though Remus knew he was still deeply in love with her.
"I didn't think she'd actually accept my invitation," Remus admitted. "It was all very sudden and rushed - she was in the middle of leaving the store with Kaia. You know … there might be a chance she doesn't show. Maybe she didn't hear the address correctly. Or maybe she decided she didn't feel comfortable seeing one of Sirius' best friends without him."
"What's," Marianne frowned, "going on between them?"
"Nothing new. They exchange letters and see each other occasionally now, but it's not much more than that."
"Did you tell Sirius you ran into her?"
"No. Besides, she's probably not coming."
"I have hope."
"I have my doubts."
"Well, fine," Marianne said, playfully sticking out her tongue. "So what time is she – possibly - coming over again?"
"Four."
"Perfect. That gives me enough time to try a new scone recipe I found." Remus smiled. He loved that Marianne had been getting into cooking and baking the past couple of weeks. It was something to keep the Ravenclaw alumna mentally focused. "Do we need anything else from the store?"
"Er, chocolate. I may have eaten the entire stash last night."
Marianne laughed and gave him a kiss on the side of his head before wandering away to put on a warm jumper dress; Remus did the dishes and gave her a wave before she headed out the store. He decided to put on a warmer flannel and clean the apartment – not because of Gemma coming over, he told himself, but because he knew they needed to do it anyways. When Marianne returned, she started the scones, while preparing lunch in between steps.
For the next few hours, the couple decided to sit on the couch by the small fireplace and read the Muggle books Smithers had loaned them. Remus slowly made his way through One Hundred Years of Solitude, a work that explored the genre of magical realism, and discretely checked his watch every so often; Marianne giggled as she read through Gravity's Rainbow and gasped out loud at the crazy details.
"That was an outrageous chapter!" she finally commented, putting the book on the table. "I have to stop every so often, the story hard to follow. But enchanting, none the less."
Remus grimaced, having already read the book. He didn't consider a LSD induced story about a major Muggle World War to be enchanting, especially since he was starting to see the parallels with their own War. But he kept his thoughts to himself. She leaned back in her chair and looked out their window; Remus checked his watch again and found that it was just after four. His pulse started to quicken as he anticipated Gemma's arrival and then hated himself for doing so.
WHAM!
"Bloody – cough – hell!"
A figure stepped out of the fireplace, covered in black; Remus instantly felt guilty for forgetting to clean it. Marianne jumped up from her chair and grabbed her wand to remove the soot. Once the spell was done, Gemma's face emerged, grinning madly. Remus studied her as she smoothed down her green jumper and high waisted trousers, looking for any embarrassing traces of soot. She seemed refreshed, livelier than she'd been during her last few weeks at Hogwarts.
"Sorry about that, so lovely to see you!" Marianne said, quickly enveloping her in a hug. Remus watched Gemma melt into her embrace. She then pulled away from Marianne to give him a hug as well.
"Wotcher," she greeted with a genuine smile. They all stood silent for a moment, Remus not knowing exactly what to say. It'd been a thrill to see her again at Diagon Alley, but he really hadn't expected her to come.
"I'll put the kettle on," Marianne said, a little too excited. "You two sit and get comfortable, I'll be back in a moment!" As Gemma turned to sit on the armchair next to the couch, Remus saw Marianne do a small little dance behind her back and mouthed 'I told you so!'. He resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at her and sat opposite Gemma.
"So!" Gemma began. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?"
"Not really," he smirked. "We did just run into each other at Diagon Alley."
"Oh, you know that doesn't count! I actually didn't catch your address at the time, had to ask Sirius where you lived so I didn't end up somewhere else in the network."
Well, Remus mused, he'd probably be hearing from Sirius later then. But her remarks also warmed his cheeks a little.
"We're so happy you could come to our home," Marianne gushed as she came back from the kitchen with a tray of scones, jams, empty teacups and assorted teas. Gemma grinned before popping a scone in her mouth.
"Ohhhh. These are – where did you get these?"
"Marianne baked them."
"You made these? Job well done!" Gemma exclaimed. Marianne blushed as Gemma took a moment to look around at the home they'd created; her eyes flittered from the dingy brown rug to the cheap wooden bookshelves and photographs of friends on the walls. "Well … I must say … I dreamed about that steamy Hospital Wing kiss, but never this. How did you choose Hogsmeade?"
Remus didn't know what to say again. He didn't want to advertise that James was helping with their rent; he also hadn't told Marianne about the level of detail of Gemma's prophecies.
"Remus got a job at The Inkpot so it made sense," Marianne answered, thankfully amused. "I found a legal assistant job once we moved here."
"Fantastic," Gemma said in between bites of scone. "I'm so happy for you!"
Marianne jumped up from her chair as soon as the kettle started to whistle, leaving Remus and Gemma alone again. He licked his lips, still unsure of how to proceed. There were so many questions he wanted to ask her, but felt they were too forward to jump straight into.
"I didn't know what tea you liked. Take your pick," Marianne offered. Gemma thanked her and plucked a mint tea bag from the mix. "So where are you living now?"
"London, actually, with Gio and a few others in the band. We named our flat Misfit Manor."
"That's exciting," Marianne continued. "Are you working or - studying? Is that what you mentioned you were doing with your new teacher, John?" Remus gulped and glanced over at his partner, feeling a bit funny that a Ravenclaw currently had more bravery than a Gryffindor. He'd been wondering about John as well.
"Both actually. I work at my parents' music hall most days, but I also meet with John pretty regularly. And it's sort of studying, yeah. But not always texts. Sometimes it's more … " She cocked her head while trying to figure out the best way to describe it. "Like studying myself. And what my dreams mean."
"Very rewarding work," Marianne smiled.
"It is. And John's a laugh. He sticks out like a sore thumb here in England – with the California accent and attire – but he's liking it so far." Gemma stopped for a moment to take a sip of her own tea before continuing. "It's good to have someone to sort things out with, you know, who gets it. I really thought I knew what I was doing, that I could teach myself without a mentor, but I had to learn the hard way that Seers are meant to have guides to learn from. And it's so much easier when you have help. John's taught me so much about interpreting my dreams, I'm grateful Dumbledore let me leave Hogwarts. I wouldn't have been able to learn what I really needed to know there. Garside was a git."
Remus felt Marianne's hand slip into his and give him a squeeze. He knew she was feeling sentimental at the mention of having help from others. He returned her gesture, but his gaze fell to Gemma. So she finally felt supported in her magical abilities, that's why she was looking better; it made him smile, since he knew what it felt like to have his lycanthropy supported, and softened his earlier attitude towards her.
"So speaking of studying, what are these books on your table?"
The three magical teenagers then launched into a lengthy discussion about the Muggle novels – Gemma and Marianne taking a quick smoke break in between analyses - and soon moved onto other topics like Ziggy Stardust, what spiders from Mars would actually look like, caldron repair shops, the French equivalent of Diagon Alley named Place Cachée, pheasants, nightshade and umbrella spells. Remus relaxed and felt his spirits lift as they drank several cups of tea, but despite eating Marianne's scones, he still felt hungry. His stomach grumbled mid conversation and both females giggled.
"Same old, same old, hmmm?" said Gemma. "You always were ravenous just before the Full Moon."
"I'll start dinner," Marianne reassured as she headed to the kitchen. Once again, Remus and Gemma were stuck in a brief pause, but after they'd broken the ice and been chatting for awhile, he finally plucked up the courage to ask her what he really wanted to know.
"So … why has it been so long since we've talked?"
Gemma let a puff of air pass through her lips, ruffling her long blonde hair. She returned to the way things used to be between them and didn't hold back.
"I, er, suppose it's because I needed my space to recover from the end of last term. I didn't take things very well. But I'm trying to mend the relationships I strained." She looked down at her lap, biting her lip. "It really was good to run into you at Diagon Ally, you know."
Remus felt a grin spread across his face; similar to his click with Marianne, his relationship with Gemma snapped back into the place. He didn't think twice.
"Stay then?"
Her face lit up.
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
"Oh, I'd love to – there's still so much to cover!"
"Ma petite!" Remus called as he got off the couch and made his way over to the kitchen. "We have enough for another place at dinner, don't we?" Marianne poked her head around the corner, thrilled.
"Yes, yes of course!"
"Do you need any help?" Gemma added.
"Not at the moment, but I'll let you know," she answered, waving her wand to start chopping. The werewolf and Seer beamed, finally feeling totally comfortable with being alone together.
"Now where were we …"
Sirius Black took a deep breath and slowed his thoughts to concentrate. Tonight was not the night to get splinched.
With a crack!, everything turned to black and he felt like he was being forced through a very tight rubber tube until he reappeared in front of the aging perimeter gate of Misfit Manor's flat building. He shook his head to dispel the lingering ring in his ears and blinked a couple times to get his bearings. Although he'd passed his Apparition test with flying colors, the act still felt like a punch to the gut every time he did it.
Sirius took another deep breath before ringing her doorbell; the gate unlocked and he jogged up the stairs to her third floor flat. He felt butterflies in his stomach, like he did every time he saw Gemma, and wiggled his fingers and toes in anticipation as he waited at her door. In all the time they'd been in this new phase of their friendship, she'd never invited him over to her place before and certainly never suggested they go to a Tarantellegra concert as friends. And this was after seeing him more consistently during the last couple weeks and reconnecting with Remus.
Maybe something would happen between them tonight; he was thankful he had the night off Order duties. Although James and Lily were on a short mission in Chesham, Sirius knew they could handle themselves.
He didn't have to wait long. Gemma appeared at the door, wearing a technicolored dress that stood out against Sirius' all black attire; he tried to keep his arousal at bay. She threw her arms in the air and grinned.
"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" A warm feeling filled his chest; it was a miracle, in his eyes, that she would welcome him after his behavior at James' birthday over a year ago. "Ooo, it's a bit chilly for June, come on in!"
Sirius returned her goofy smile and followed her inside, a little in awe of how they'd decorated the place. The living room before him was full of various colored couches and surfaces, covered in different types of plants. There was even a small skylight overhead, although he suspected it was an illusion.
"So Gio and the rest of them are already at the venue, getting warmed up," Gemma snorted, her air quotes indicating that they were partying instead of practicing. "I figured we could, maybe, have a drink here before going and joining them. Gio'll be happy to see you."
"I haven't seen that bugger in ages," Sirius laughed.
"He's changed a bit, but for the good, I assure you. So what can I pour for you? Firewhiskey?"
"That'd be lovely."
Gemma smiled and walked over to the small bar cart at the edge of the living room; she checked a couple of bottles to see what was left and threw ice into two tumblers, followed by some old firewhiskey. But just before she picked up the drinks to walk back over, a very fluffy British shorthair kitten jumped out from behind the cart and playfully wrapped its paws around her leg. Sirius felt an extreme urge to change into his animagus. He wanted to greet it properly.
"Oh hello Pip! Look at you being cute. Do you want to play? I bet I know someone who would play with you …" Her gaze rose to meet his, a little smirk gracing her lips.
"Pip, is it?" Sirius grinned, striding over to the grey kitten. "You can't be over six months old, can you?"
"I just got her – her full name is Pippa," Gemma snickered as she handed him his drink. He bit his lip, not accepting it at first.
"Actually, could I play with her … as Padfoot?"
"Oh! Well … I suppose that's ok. Just be gentle, yeah?"
"Of course."
And with that, he sleekly changed into his dog form; the kitten was spooked and jumped and hid behind the cart again. He lied down on the ground and waited for the young cat to feel courageous enough to sniff him. Pippa finally stumbled over a few pillows, said hello and discovered that his shaggy tail was an excellent play toy. Sirius let the kitten bat it around for several minutes, using the time to unplug from his harsh Wartime reality. It felt amazing not to worry about Voldemort for a moment.
But whether he liked it or not, the War was still very much a part of his life. Suddenly, just as Pippa caught his tail again, he felt his right hip warm up. He didn't know what was happening at first and quickly turned back into his human form.
"What?" Gemma asked, sensing something was wrong. Sirius put his hand on his hip and touched the top of his back pocket before he remembered what was causing the sensation.
His mirror. James.
The mood quickly became tense. Without answering her, Sirius dove into his extended pocket and grabbed the two-way mirror; he'd forgotten he'd charmed it to heat up when it was tucked away so he didn't miss emergency messages. Gemma hovered to his side, remaining quiet.
"Prongs?"
"PADFOOT! WE NEED BACKUP!"
"Stay calm, what's going on?"
"WE NEED BACKUP! TO CHARTRIDGE MEADOWS."
"Prongs -"
"SIRIUS!" Lily cut in. She looked terrified. "HE'S HERE."
With that tone, there was only one person she could be referring to: Voldemort.
"Fuck! Hold on as long as you can, I'll get help!"
Sirius ended the communication and muttered a long string of expletives as he reached back into his pocket for his wand. Gemma stayed silent - not knowing that he was thinking of her as he cast an energetic patronus - and bristled at the mention of Voldemort before watching the black dog bound away into the night to alert the others. Her face was grey and worried; she clutched her stomach as tears spilled down her cheeks.
"I know I just got here, but -"
"Go, help them," she croaked. "I understand."
"I'll explain what I can later. I'm sorry -"
"No – don't – don't worry about me! Go bloody help them!"
His mind raced, but his body stayed put. Sirius knew he had to hurry for James and Lily's sake, but he didn't want to leave Gemma, not when she looked so scared; although she still didn't know about the Order, this was the first time she'd seen him openly resisting Voldemort. His hesitation didn't go unnoticed. Gemma suddenly cupped his face in her hands and kissed him with full force, almost knocking him over. He automatically wrapped his arms around her and started to devour her lips; he'd been waiting for this moment for a long time. The couple continued to passionately claw at each other as if their lives depended on it, but after a few minutes or so, Gemma pulled away and pressed her forehead to his.
"Go."
As much as he wanted to continue to hold her and tell her how much he loved her, how he wanted to be her partner until the end, Sirius knew he couldn't delay any longer. He dropped his embrace and regrettably took a few paces towards the door, not wanting to be distracted by her gorgeous, but distressed face. He reminded himself for the second time that tonight was not the night to get splinched.
With another uncomfortable crack!, Sirius apparated to Chartridge Meadows and quickly dove into the grass to avoid an oncoming curse from a Death Eater. He threw a stunning spell their way, hit his target and surveyed the scene until he saw James and Lily; they were not far from him and being assaulted by a figure in black. He bounded through the grass towards them and heard a few more cracks! from other Order members, but just before he reached his friends, the black figure let out a screaming, dark curse that barreled towards them. Sirius' heart stopped.
"PROTEGO!"
James and Lily cast their shield charms at the same time, forming a stronger barrier; the oncoming curse rebounded back towards the figure, revealing Voldemort's face and hitting him in the chest. Sirius saw Moody quickly cast a curse to distract him and sprang into action.
"We need to get you out of here."
"We're in no state to apparate," said Lily, heaving. "I'm too distracted and James …" She looked over at her husband, who was slightly stunned. His glasses were broken and askew; his eyes were tired and bloodshot. It was the third time he'd defied Voldemort.
"Hold on, then."
For the third time that night, Sirius closed his eyes to concentrate, but just before he felt his eardrums push further into his head, a white light slashed his right shoulder like a sword, causing him immense pain. He gritted his teeth and tried to remain steady as they transported back to his London flat, but his determination eventually broke.
When they reappeared in his living room, Sirius felt the worst pain of his life, much worse than when his father used the Cruciatus curse on him. Although he saw Lily's lips moving, he couldn't hear anything she was saying and felt extremely lightheaded. He looked down at his fingers. They were covered in dripping blood from the slashes on his shoulder and as he followed the droplets to the floor, he saw his leg was missing a large chunk of muscle. He'd been splinched.
The pain was finally too much for Sirius to handle. He promptly fainted.
He couldn't judge how fast time was moving as he wove in and out of consciousness. One moment he was in searing pain – "oh Merlin, the dittany isn't working!", "It looks like his signature, Sectumsempra" - and the next he was out again, but then awoke in his bed surrounded by people – "Please tell us he'll be ok", "I've lifted the curse, but it will take some time to replenish his blood and regrow his muscle" – before passing out again. He didn't want to stay in the darkness forever and kept fighting to stay alive. His eyes fluttered open – "I don't know how we're going to answer that owl", "We have to think of something" – but he soon drifted off back into darkness. Some time later, he heard muffled voices – "Fucking hell Remus, you didn't tell me he was this bad!", "Well, it's a little hard to explain through a letter" – and tried to battle against his oncoming wave of tiredness, but ultimately lost.
When he finally felt strong enough, Sirius opened his eyes and took a long, deep breath to settle the stinging feeling in his head. He tried to move his numb limbs and bumped his injured shoulder in the process; he howled in pain, missing the sounds of scuffling feet through his bedroom doorway.
"Padfoot!"
"Are you alright?"
"I feel like I just got hit by a train," Sirius growled. "But I'm alive." He tried to relax a bit, noting that James, Remus and Peter were at his bedside, but tensed when he realized there was one important person missing. Who probably had no idea he was hurt. "Gemma. I need -"
"It's alright, Sirius," a soft female voice said from across the room. His friends parted ways to reveal that she was already there.
"Darling," he croaked, ignoring the pain that shot up his arm as he reached out to her. She quickly floated over, sitting in a chair next to him, and lightly placed his arm back on the bed. His mouth started to move, but her other hand reached out to touch his face and stop him.
"Shhh, shhh, shhhhhh. You need your rest."
"I've rested long enough."
"You're still healing."
"It's just a flesh wound."
"It's not just a flesh wound. Now sleep, you'll heal faster."
"I don't know if I can right now. The pain …"
"Here," she said, reaching into her pocket for a small vial. "Stick your tongue out." He did as she asked and she put a few drops of something under his tongue. Relief immediately replaced his pain. He inhaled deeply, breathing in new life, and relaxed into his bed.
"What was that?"
"Gillyweed, actually. Kaia's a Herbology genuis and made a pain relief tincture out of it."
"Bless her," Sirius smiled dreamily. "I feel great."
"Now open your mouth again," she ordered as she turned to his bedside table and collected a few potions. "Nutrients. And hydration. And a few other medicines I can't pronounce. Good, now rest."
"I don't want you to leave," he whimpered. "We need to talk -"
"Please, rest. We'll talk later." But just before he closed his eyes again, he felt compelled to tell her something.
"I love you," he finally said, not ashamed to reveal his true feelings.
"I know. I love you too."
And with that, Sirius happily drifted off to sleep. Gemma took care of him over the next day, giving him all the necessary potions and helping him slowly move out of bed. He tried to speak with her to tell her how much he really cared, but she always brushed him off and told him they would talk when he was fully healed. Lily took over her duties when she had to step out to see John and walked him around his apartment to strengthen his new muscles.
"It's a miracle you made it," she admitted softly. "I was so scared."
"I'm told it was your quick thinking to use dittany."
"Well, it didn't work. Dumbledore was the one to really heal you."
"Regardless, thank you."
"No, thank you. If we'd known you were with her, we would've asked someone else for help."
"It doesn't matter. Now I'm fancying another walk around the kitchen, come on."
Lily laughed as they pretended to stroll in the Muggle royal gardens, playfully bowing and bantering to lift their spirits. Halfway through their second lap of the living room, Gemma stepped out of the fireplace and Lily took the opportunity to apparate home and give them their privacy.
"So I've been walking. I'm better. Now can we talk?"
"Yes, I suppose it's time," she said as she lowered herself onto the nearby couch. He did the same and she cast a quick spell to light a fire in the hearth before starting a fresh cigarette. "I didn't want you to say something you didn't mean."
"I wouldn't have. I've known what I want for a long time now. It's always been you."
"Oh, Sirius," Gemma breathed. She nervously started to rub her fingernails against the velvet couch and looked away. When she turned back, he met her gaze full on. All of his cards were on the table already, there was nothing to hide. "How are we going to do this? I love you but …"
"What do you mean?"
"Us. We fucked it up the first time."
"We aren't the same people we were at Hogwarts."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Well, do you trust me?"
"I don't know," she said coolly, exhaling smoke.
"I haven't been with anyone since … snogging Rose." She inhaled sharply. "I've been focusing on … work."
"And what exactly is your job?"
"It's hard to explain."
"You're part of that secret society, aren't you?" He gulped, not knowing what to say. "I asked everyone how you'd been injured, but they couldn't tell me anything of importance, unless I was invited to join. And I can't add that to my plate. I have enough to deal with."
"Yes, I'm … helping them, you could say."
"So you're fighting Voldemort. You'll get hurt again, I'm sure. You could …"
"Yes, there's always a chance of that," he admitted. "But I'd be proud to die resisting. I can't let him – and my family - win." He put his hand to her cheek. "I promise I won't tie you down. But I can't promise I'll always come home in one piece. Not in these times."
"That will take some time to get used to."
"It'll be hard. But you'll also need to keep things from me. Seer related things." She looked down at her shoes.
"Yes, there will still be that."
"I trust you, Gemma. You have mentorship now, so it won't be like before. But is there anything you can tell me?"
"Oh, about my prophecy? Sure. I'm not any closer to figuring out what Morrigan's #1 made me see, unfortunately. I don't remember everything from that night, so there are some big missing pieces." Her initial statement and unconfident body language gave him pause.
"Is there something else you want to tell me, then?"
"Oh … Well, yes. I … suppose I should." She took another inhale and whispered to herself. "Merlin, you're not going to like it, but here we go." She exhaled slowly. "Er, so, at one point, I thought we weren't meant to be and this surfer character was my true partner. A few times when I showed up on a random beach and didn't find him, I tried to find someone else to numb my pain. A few one night shags …"
He clenched his fingers, but remained silent as she took another puff from her cigarette; they weren't together then, so he didn't hold it against her. But there was still something he needed to know.
"Is John your lover?"
"No, Merlin no. He's my Professor. I haven't been with any other blokes since America."
Sirius let out an exhale of relief. Gemma looked away.
"I thought I was all better now that I had help and could be close to you again, just as friends. Merlin, I spilled so much on the last night of term. But then I felt confused … and ashamed. I kept having a lot of big dreams about Sixth Year after we played pool for the first time, but I didn't want to face them. I hid them away from John and distanced myself from you because it hurt too much. It took awhile, but I eventually told John about my dreams – but not about my feelings for you - and he encouraged me to make amends. To move forward. I really thought we could just be friends, like I am with Remus. But then tonight I thought I might not ever see you again and I realized that I still love you … "
"Then be with me."
"I'm scared to."
"We can do it if we trust each other."
"You trust me after all I just told you?"
"Yes. It doesn't change anything. I love you, Gemma. I trust you."
She sighed and reached below her shirt to pull out the rose quartz necklace he'd given her on Valentine's Day all those months ago. It was shimmering like crazy; she smiled and looked back at him.
"Ok. I trust you too."
He let out a huge sigh of relief.
"We'll get through this. I know it."
"We'll do the best we can," she said with a genuine grin as she got up and came over to sit in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and placed his head on her shoulder, over the moon with happiness. He knew this would be his new patronus memory.
"I love you."
"I love you too. Now come on, let's get you back to bed. And make up for lost time."
"Now darling, you must dish about the new men in your office. I know one of them must be attractive! Anyone husband material, hmmm?"
Aeryn Miller almost spit out the dessert wine she was in the middle of drinking; she sputtered, but ultimately decided to tip her head back and finish the rest of the glass to numb herself from the upcoming conversation. She wasn't surprised that Cora noticed. She reached out under the table and lightly placed her hand on Aeryn's knee to settle her.
When Aeryn placed her glass back on the table and cleared her throat, she wished she could have told her mother Kate the truth. That she currently had a girlfriend, her best friend and flatmate sitting next to her, and did not find any of the new men in her office attractive. But she knew she couldn't; her Muggle parents weren't exactly tolerant when it came to sexuality. In fact, Cora's pureblood parents weren't either, since it was illegal for members of the same sex to get married. So Aeryn and Cora had decided to keep their relationship secret, although at times, it was hard for them to keep a straight face.
"Well, there's one man who's nice."
"Fantastic! What's his name?"
Aeryn chose a new coworker at random. "Martin."
"Well … you should give him hints at the very least and he will call soon. You're beautiful, so he'd be daft to ignore you." She looked down at her plate and grimaced, ignoring Cora's frown as she poured herself another glass of wine. It was her fifth of the night.
"Remind me again, why are there all these new men at work?" her father Seamus asked, looking up from his food.
"We're downsizing and merged with another branch. It's a bit of a mess at the moment, but we're managing."
"You know, if it gets too messy, you could always settle down and stop working …"
"I like working, Mum."
"Oh, but it all must be terribly boring scheduling all those meetings!"
"I'm a junior consultant, I do a bit more than that."
"You know I must say, I'm proud of the both of you," Seamus cut in, sensing the tension between his wife and daughter. "Aeryn, it's lovely to see you being a liason between the magical community and – what do you say?"
"Muggles. People like you, Dad."
"Right. And Cora, congratulations again on being selected to play professional Fibbitch."
"Quidditch, Dad."
"Thank you Mr. Miller," Cora said timidly. "It's an honor to play for the Tutshill Tornados."
"I bet there are some fit men on your team," Kate purred. Aeryn silently fumed as she took another large sip of wine. She knew Cora was more interested in dressing like a man rather than dating one. "Anyone Aeryn should meet?"
"She's met most of them already," Cora replied with a nervous smile.
"And are there any you fancy, hmmm? I bet they all look nice in their kits."
Aeryn couldn't take it anymore. She promptly got up from her seat and made her way to the bathroom for some privacy; she let out a strong huff as she closed the door behind her and looked in the mirror. She noticed that her lids were heavy, her expression a bit drunk. But there was definitely sadness in her eyes. She knitted her brows and turned away.
She hated that she drank when situations veered too close to her relationship with Cora. It had started back at Hogwarts when she was still with Peter – she would never forget the shock on his face when she chugged firewhiskey from Sirius' flask – and reared its head every once and while since they'd graduated. Never in front of Cora's parents, but it usually appeared when she was around her mother. For most of her life, she'd agreed with Kate's traditional attitude around love and marriage, but ever since falling for Cora, everything had changed. But of course, she couldn't tell her that and the pressure to pretend and follow along with her old life was too difficult to endure, hence the need for alcohol.
After a few minutes, Aeryn decided she'd spent enough time wallowing in her own angry thoughts. When she returned to table, Cora turned in her seat and shot her a nervous look. Aeryn knew she was trying to figure out how drunk she was.
"Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm a bit tired actually, I think it's time to go home."
Kate and Seamus jumped up from the table and put together a box of leftovers for them; Aeryn snuck one more sip of wine before apprehensively hugging her parents and walking out the front door. Once they found a dark spot on the street, Cora activated their portkey since Aeryn was too unstable to focus. When they popped back into their cosy flat in Devon, Cora angrily strode towards the kitchen and returned with a large glass of what looked like water.
"Drink this. You're … unwell."
"I'm actually fine," she muttered before taking a sip, recognizing the taste of sobering potion.
"No, you're sloshed."
"With Mum's questions, can you blame me?"
"Yes, I can. There are healthier ways to let out your frustrations."
"Well I'm sorry I'm not athletic like you. I can't just ride around on a broom and have things be ok."
"Things are never just 'ok' with me, you know that," Cora said between her teeth, brushing her fingers through her pixie haircut. "I hate it too. I'm just less obvious." Aeryn playfully rolled her eyes before taking another sip of potion. "Merlin, you really drive me up a bloody wall sometimes."
"But you love me," Aeryn teased.
"Yes, I do," Cora responded, rather serious. "And if You-Know-Who bursts through our front door, I'll die for you too. But now I have to pack. Don't come to bed unless you're sober."
And with that, Cora went to their bedroom to organize her things for the Tornado's upcoming road trip. Aeryn, meanwhile, froze with the glass in her hand, trying to process what her girlfriend had just said. They didn't talk about current events out of fear of having it become too real, but Cora had gone that far this time.
You-Know-Who. He, or his cronies really, could come into their house at any moment and kill the both of them. Merlin, even the Ministry seemed to be in on it. Aeryn felt the Auror department was still dependable, but rumors about the Improper Use of Magic office and its leader Thelore Elric looking the other way when magical folks attacked Muggles, Muggle supporters or anyone different made it hard to believe that everything was operating independently. Innocent, complicit, it didn't matter. People were dying. And if Aeryn did, she now knew Cora would die too, trying to protect her. A brief moment of panic snapped Aeryn back to attention. She gulped down the rest of the potion and made her way to Cora's side.
"I'm sorry."
"I know you are. But you really need to stop drinking."
"I will."
"We'll see."
Cora turned away and Aeryn caught her face in her hands. Without thinking, she placed her lips on hers to try and communicate just exactly how sorry she was and how much she loved her. Cora initially resisted, but eventually gave up her effort to pack and instead focused on touching every part of Aeryn's body. The two girls fell onto the bed and got lost in the sheets, each bringing the other to orgasm and forget about their earlier fight. But it was short lived. When Aeryn woke up and stretched her limbs, she expected to see Cora before she left for her trip. But instead, Aeryn found a note on her pillow.
My apple,
I didn't want to wake you up, you looked like you needed the sleep and I was running a bit late, not having finished packing last night. I'll owl you once we get to Scotland.
See you in a week.
Love,
Your core
Aeryn flopped back onto the bed in shame; she'd only meant to drink get to get through her mother's questioning, not to ruin her relationship. She eventually made herself get out of bed and was in a mental fog until she showed up to work the next day. The McKinsey Muggle Consultant Group was dysfunctional as ever with the office merger and required her to pay attention to avoid her stuff being taken.
"Oi, got time to handle the mail today?"
Aeryn looked over at her coworker Melinda and nodded, taking the stack of parchment and returning to her desk. Of course she had time today, there wasn't really much else for her to do. When she'd graduated in 1978, the consulting firm was brimming with accounts to help larger companies better understand the non-magical community and how not to disturb them and break Ministry laws. But now in the fall of 1979, with all the recent attacks and political rhetoric, their work dried up, leading to a downsize. Her days were now filled with answering letters from various magical folks who were scared of getting detained for breaking the law.
After a few hours or so of writing responses and filling out other paperwork, Aeryn grew bored and decided it was time to have some lunch. She moved to the breakroom, took her food out of her bag and sat at one of the tables. She barely noticed Lizzie, her usual chat partner, slide into the chair next to her.
"You're looking dodgy this morning."
"Lovely, thanks."
"Oh come on, I'm only taking the piss."
Aeryn huffed, resting her head against her hand.
"What's wrong?"
"Cora's gone for a week. We had a tiff before she left, that's all."
She realized she probably shouldn't have said anything Cora related to Hogwarts' old queen of gossip, but found herself looking for companionship. Never the less, she didn't elaborate on why they'd gotten into a fight in the first place.
"I'm sure things will be fine. You two are such great friends." Aeryn looked away, not wanting to betray that they were in fact much more than friends. "Well, here's some news. Remember Persephone Davies? She's coming out with a new article in The Prophet about women in Quidditch. Cora will love it."
"Yeah, she actually reached out to her for an interview. They met about it a few weeks ago."
"Harumph. I should have known. Well, do you know about William Upton?"
"He's about to get sacked from the Ministry for taking bribes."
"You're just a treasure trove of information, aren't you?" Aeryn grinned, reveling in the fact that she knew just as much as Lizzie did. "Where did you hear that?"
"Through the grapevine here at the office."
"From Galatea?"
"A gossip never reveals her sources."
"Fine. Hmmm, what's something you wouldn't know about?" Lizzie took a sip of tea and gathered her thoughts. "Oh! Lily Potter and Alice Longbottom are both pregnant!"
Aeryn's lunch fell from her fork as her jaw dropped; she'd purposely avoided Peter's circle of friends after they broke up and this was the first news about them she'd heard in a long time. Aeryn quickly stabbed her plate and pushed food into her mouth to avoid saying anything. She was swirling with emotions – confusion, guilt, shame, fear – and didn't want to say anything in front of Lizzie that she would regret.
"Oh I'm … sorry," Lizzie said, her lips turning down in a frown. "I didn't – or at least, I thought you were over him."
"No," Aeryn answered once she'd swallowed her lunch and gained her confidence again. "It's fine, really. I knew about their weddings, but I didn't think about ... children. They're both still so young."
She looked down at her plate and busied herself with the rest of her food to avoid talking again. Lizzie didn't buy her excuse and kept prodding, although Aeryn knew it was out of friendship instead of spite. They'd grown closer while working together in an office full of men.
"Have you seen him, then?"
"Who?"
"Peter."
Just hearing his name spoken out loud made shivers run down her spine. He reminded her of a different time, a different Aeryn. But she wasn't going to let him win.
"I've seen him a few times, yeah. But we've never had a proper conversation since Hogwarts."
"Oh, I meant recently. Here in the office." Aeryn choked on her food. "You haven't seen him, then. I have, although I suppose that's because my desk is close to the entrance. I heard he's been here on official Ministry business. But maybe he's here for you. He lurks around too much."
Aeryn looked away, biting her lip. Her previous encounters with her ex boyfriend had been difficult to endure, but she'd been strong enough to shorten their duration. Just simple run ins at Diagon Ally or out with friends, nothing more. Now, there was a chance she wouldn't be rid of him. What if Lizzie was right, that he was here just for her? What if he'd found out about her relationship with Cora? She accidentally drew blood and recoiled from the irony taste in her mouth.
"Let's change the subject, shall we?" Lizzie squeaked. "Remember Barnabus Cuffe? Apparently he's dating …"
Aeryn let Lizzie prattle on about the lives of other students in their year, but her mind was in a terrible place, thinking about Peter and what he might do while torturing herself for her stupid behavior during their relationship. The thoughts didn't let up when she went home at the end of the day, for without Cora there, she was alone with them. She barely ate and slept, arriving into the office the next morning with greasy hair and skewed make up. She didn't notice that she'd stuffed some envelopes with blank paper and mailed them to prospective clients. And the next day, she didn't even feel the burns on her legs when she spilled tea all over her lap. She was too sleep deprived to care.
When she went home, she collapsed onto their couch and accidentally slept for a few hours, waking up in the middle of the night to a flat with every single light still turned on. Aeryn then turned desperate and went to the kitchen to fetch a glass of wine to help her fall back asleep. She knew she said she was going to be better about her drinking, but her fingers were shaking too much. She needed the wine to calm her down.
For all she'd thought about in the last couple days was Peter and their time together at Hogwarts. She berated herself for being so ridiculous around him and pulling out all the stops to make him happy; she regretted letting him control her perception of her own self worth.
She was also an avid believer in Divination and fate and eventually convinced herself that it was a sign that Peter was looking for her while Cora was away. He knew about them and now it was time for her to accept her punishment, alone. Maybe Cora would be spared. But she eventually finished the bottle, fell asleep and convinced herself that it'd all been a bad dream.
She didn't finally see Peter in the flesh until five days after Cora left; she caught him wandering near her desk after she went to the loo and came back to pack up for the day. Aeryn sucked in a tormented breath.
"What are you doing here, Peter?"
He seemed to jump a meter in the air, he was so surprised; he quickly tucked away a notebook into his robes. She noticed he had lost the pudge from his school days and looked extremely tired.
"I'm – I'm sorry! I'm – here because." He paused and gulped, which Aeryn knew was a sign he was lying. "Your branch closure is concerning to Crouch. He wants to know if anyone is threatening you. I'm supposed to be keeping logs about the comings and goings of people. What their schedules are. You wouldn't happen to have information about that, would you? For Ministry purposes?"
Aeryn didn't believe that Crouch was really that interested with keeping their ship afloat, but none the less pulled a few timetables out of her desk and gave them to him. She didn't want him to retaliate in some way if she stopped his investigation.
"Here." His eyes lit up as he greedily snatched the parchment from her hands. She frowned. "Is that all you need from me?"
"Er … yes. Thanks Aeryn. Hope you're doing well."
"I am," was all she could say before he turned and walked away from her, stopping at one of the communal office fireplaces. He yelled for Diagon Alley and left in a green flash.
Aeryn let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Something didn't seem right; he didn't return straight to the Ministry to hand over the tables she'd given him. Something else was going on and she felt compelled by her Gryffindor traits to turn the tables and snoop on him. She had to know what he was going to do about Cora. Without thinking, she yelled for The Leaky Cauldron and brushed the soot from her hair when she emerged from their fireplace. After tucking into a corner, she cast a quick tracking spell and followed the small white light towards the edge of the Alley; she spotted Peter's green cloak. She extinguished the light and cast a Disillusionment Charm to avoid him seeing her.
He then stepped into Knockturn Alley. Aeryn had a brief moment of panic, wondering if she should go ahead with following him when he was going into such a dangerous place. But she pressed on, needing to know his true intent and if she should warn Cora. She watched him tuck into a dark part of the Alley and pace back and forth a few times before a hand reached out from the shadows. He placed his notebook and the parchment she'd given him between its fingers and soon, Aeryn recognized Luciana as she fully emerged to lovingly stroke the side of his face.
Aeryn put her hand over her mouth to stop the sound of her oncoming scream. She immediately turned and ran out of the Alley, not caring if she struck people on the street while she was still hidden; she eventually made it to The Cauldron and floo-ed home, too scared to apparate. Once she was in her living room, she let out her earlier scream and started to hyperventilate and cry. She couldn't believe it. She knew Peter had treated her poorly, but she never expected him to be so evil.
In the hours before Cora came home, Aeryn frantically deep cleaned their entire flat, something she was known to do when she was terribly stressed. She even threw away all the alcohol in their cabinet; she finally accepted her drinking habit was too risky and unhealthy and vowed to stop hitting the bottle. When Cora stepped through the fireplace and dropped her bag on the carpet, she gave a low whistle in awe of how clean things were. Aeryn slid across the kitchen floor to the living room, wrapped her girlfriend in a large hug and closed her eyes to savor the moment. She had missed her so much.
"Aeryn, are you alright?"
"No."
"Was it our fight? Is that why you stress cleaned?"
"No. Peter."
Aeryn turned to look at the floor and Cora touched her shoulder, willing her to continue. She then recounted the events of the past week, including finishing the bottle of wine and then deciding to get rid of everything; Cora bristled, but eventually met her glassy eyes. She tried to play tough, but Aeryn knew she was also terrified of what Peter might do if he knew their secret. Especially now that he was connected to Death Eaters, who viewed same sex couples as blood traitors since they couldn't carry on their magical linage.
"I think we should leave the country, You-Know-Who's reach has limits. We'll be safe and can love out in the open since no one will know us."
"What? We can't do that."
"He could kill us, core!"
"He doesn't know anything, apple. It seems he has higher business to attend to, we're not important to him."
"We could be! If Peter finds out, if they decide to attack -"
"All ifs. We don't know the whole picture. Maybe he's part of the good side and intentionally feeding them bad information."
Aeryn huffed and ran a hand through her hair; Cora noticed her unease and put her arms around her to comfort her. They hugged for a few minutes, Aeryn letting out her fear and anxiety from the past week by crying on Cora's shoulder. She eventually stepped back, wiped her face and took Cora's hands in her own.
"I love you - I've never been so sure of something in my entire life. So if Peter or anyone else comes for us … I'd die for you too." She bit her lip. "I know Muggles don't tolerate us. And Death Eaters hate us. But this – what we have - isn't a choice for me. I know this is how I'm supposed to love. I'm not supposed to be with a man. I'm supposed to be with you."
Cora kissed her forehead. "I love you too, my dear. We'll be fine, nothing is going to happen."
But three weeks later, Death Eaters attacked the McKinsey Group building and left it in ruins. No one was killed, but Aeryn and Cora were scared out of their minds and decided that it was indeed time for them to flee the country; they had two strikes against them, being Muggle supporters and gay, and felt the Death Eaters were too omnipresent in the United Kingdom to ignore them. When it came time to choose another country, they threw around other places in Europe, but eventually decided on a place they felt a stronger connection to that seemed safe and tolerant of their lifestyle.
New York City. The big apple.