After Brittany's birthday, things began moving incredibly quickly. Every day seemed to bring some new milestone. Annalise was eating well, gaining weight, and her stats were reading better all the time. Our optimism never wavered, and during the first week of August, a week before Annie was originally due to be born, Dr. Kellen called Britt and I into his office for a conversation.
Our hands were locked together, and I tried to keep the fear from rising up in my chest. Brittany looked at me as a shiver ran down my spine, and her eyes were clouded with uncertainty. We had always spoken to the doctor at the baby's bedside, so being in this office felt wrong. As we sat down across from Dr. Kellen's desk, he gave us a warm smile, and I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth.
"Ladies." He started, eyes wandering between both of our faces. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"
"What? You're the one who called us in here." I replied indignantly. "How should we know?"
"Oh no, I'm sorry Santana, Brittany. This isn't bad news at all! On the contrary actually, I want to talk to you about plans for Annalise's discharge."
I heard Brittany gasp as she pulled my hand to her chest. Seriously, discharge? It had been seven weeks, and bringing the baby home had felt like such a distant hope. Even though she had topped four pounds and was spending more and more time out of the incubator, we didn't realize how well she was really doing.
"She's maintaining her own body temperature, she's off machines, really, we have no reason to keep her here anymore." The doctor explained.
"When can she come home?" Britt asked, her voice small and full of wonder.
"Tomorrow." Dr. Kellen smiled, and I knew it was reflected on both of our faces.
"But there are a few other things we need to talk about."
I moved my chair closer to Brittany's so I could wrap my arm around her for the things that were always hard to hear. For the millionth time in seven weeks, we listened as Dr. Kellen discussed the possibility of unseen developmental delays, the importance of not comparing Annalise to other babies, giving her all the love and touch we wanted, holding her without worrying about her getting spoiled. He also held out a book of specialists that we may need to take the baby to as she grew, and Britt reached out to grab it. I was too dazed, processing Annie's future, processing that she would be coming home with us, that tomorrow was no longer some far away hope.
My mind was also on the concerns that we kept hearing. Our daughter might struggle, might be different than the others. But I thought about my beautiful wife, who had always been different, and I loved her for it, not in spite of it. I thought about myself, who fought so hard against being different that I made myself miserable. I thought about our friends; Kurt, Brittany's original unicorn, who highlighted his differences and who was wildly successful because of it. Rachel, who never let slushie facials and everyone's merciless teasing (unfortunately, I include myself in that group) stop her from becoming a star. Even Finn and Quinn, who defied everyone's expectations to do what they loved.
Words I hadn't thought of in a long time echoed in my head as Dr. Kellen talked about cognitive skills and Early Intervention services, I can only be who I are. Of course, we would do everything in our power to make Little Bean's life as easy as possible, but I wasn't completely terrified by the idea that she might need more of a push to get there. Sure, there would always be people out in the world that would take every opportunity to cut another person down, but I hoped that beautiful girl was born with her Mama's ability to see past what other's think. And if she wasn't, she had a Mamà who wouldn't hesitate to knock some serious sense into anyone who thought it was okay to tell her she was any less than special.
What really mattered was that she would be raised with people who loved and accepted her no matter what. And that's what we did in our strange little family, we did what I learned from Brittany, embraced our inner unicorn. Annalise survived her traumatic birth, she'd grown in leaps and bounds, and she was coming home, our baby already was a unicorn.
That night, we'd actually gone home with two pieces of good news. Not only were we bringing our baby home in the morning, but Dr. Singh had declared Brittany's recovery complete. Brittany had winked at me from the examination table, and it was like I'd sworn countless times, that woman was going to be the death of me.
In my head, I had made plans for when we got home. We'd shower, have something to eat (no, I wasn't even being wanky about that) and then go to bed. Yeah, that was all good in theory, but apparently I gave Britt and I a lot more credit in my mind than we really deserved. As soon as I closed the door behind us, that was it. We realized that it was the first time we could really touch each other in seven weeks (four of which, Brittany spent teasing me) and we were on each other. I'm not even sure who moved first, maybe we both did at the same time, controlled by the magnetism that always drew up together.
Our lips met, and Brittany's hands found their way into my hair as mine found their way to her hips, pulling her into me. My heart hammered in my chest as I nipped at her neck, quickly finding the spot I was looking for. She moaned softly, and before I knew it, she was pushing me down on our bed, pulling her shirt up over her head. I couldn't keep my hands to myself, and I reached desperately, wanting her body touching mine again.
"I missed you." She breathed in my ear, and her voice furthered the ache between my thighs. We'd spent almost every moment together for two months, but I knew what she meant, she missed our bodies becoming one.
"Fuck Britt, you're so beautiful. And you're too far away."
She shook her head and tugged at the hem of my shirt. I arched my back so she could take if off and my body ignited when our skin finally touched. In my head, things were going to move slowly and gently, but my body was really not complying with my mind. Everything about our contact was fast, needy, and decidedly not gentle, but Britt was controlling it, and she knew what her body could handle. Her hands were all over me, and she tugged at my jeans, needing more contact.
"Touch me." She commanded, and I almost came undone.
I snapped out of the reverie I'd slipped into, watching her toss her shorts to the floor and I moved my hand to where she wanted it most. My eyes were locked with Brittany's, as she thrust her hips, trying to control my contact with her. Using my free hand, I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her lips down to mine, sucking and biting her bottom one. Somehow, my pants came off and Britt's long fingers teased at the edge of my panties.
"No. I want to take care of you first." I wasn't even sure if my words came out completely coherent.
"Together." She demanded. "It's better together."
My mouth tried to protest, I really wanted it to be about Brittany, but my body once again betrayed me the minute those fingers made contact. It was ridiculous how completely powerless I became as soon as she touched me (okay, maybe I was always weak when it came to Britt). I longed to stare at her, her body had changed so much and was possibly even more beautiful than it had ever been. Still though, we fit together perfectly and she never failed to awe me.
Our lips locked back together, and I kept my eyes open so I could watch hers. I was fighting my inevitable orgasm, demanding my body to cooperate so I could get Britt there first. As she cried out some combination of more, faster and possibly fuck, I thought I was going to lose the battle with myself. When those words were replaced with my name though, and her eyes rolled back, I let myself shatter beneath her as she collapsed on top of me.
"Holy shit." I panted, feeling like there were no bones in my body.
"Mmhmm." Britt responded, her face buried in my hair. Yeah, we still got it.
"You know," Britt spoke into my ear, waking me from sleep the next morning. "If we could have done that for the past weeks, they may not have felt as impossibly slow."
"You're probably right. And Britt?" I asked, looking at the clock. "Why are we up at 5:17?"
"I woke up on my own, but then I wanted you to be up too. We have some lost time to make up for."
Brittany always was a genius. We definitely made up for lost time. Then we took a shower, and made up for some more. Finally, at 7:05, we were dressed, standing together in Annalise's room looking through the absurd amount of clothing that Kurt had dropped off. For some reason, it felt important that we pick out the perfect coming home outfit for her, but both of us were overwhelmed by the selection.
"What about this one?" Britt asked, holding up a miniature red white sundress.
"I don't know, do you think she'll be cold?"
"Maybe." Never mind that it was August in New York, and NY1 News listed the day's high at 102 degrees. But NY1 was crap, for all they knew it could be -10 degrees and a tsunami, we weren't trusting them with the weather on such an important day. "Wait, I know the perfect one!"
After digging through the drawers, Brittany found what she was looking for and turned to me, holding the outfit up with a huge grin on her face. In one hand, she held a white footed sleeper with pink and orange cats all over it, and in her other there was a pink hat with cat ears. I actually had no idea where it came from, but it was definitely the right size, and would keep Annie warm enough. Plus, that look on Britt's face was incredible, so I smiled back and nodded, immediately having my lips attacked by her.
"This is it." Britt announced as we walked out the door. "She's coming home with us today."
Brittany was bouncing up and down and I felt like I was going to be sick from a combination of excitement and nervousness when we got to the hospital. For the first time, Britt and I stood over Annalise's incubator (which had, I'd noticed, been turned off, and she still felt plenty warm) and changed her diaper and dressed her. She seemed to be swimming, even in the tiny clothes, but there was a small twinge in my heart seeing how grown up she looked dressed in real clothes.
"Thank you, for everything." Britt gushed to Dr. Kellen as he signed off on the final paperwork.
"I'm glad she's ready to go home with you. You ladies have waited long enough for this day, and you're going to do great. I'll see you in my office next week, and don't hesitate to call, any time for anything you need."
"Thank you." I added softly, cradling Annie in my arms. "Ready to go see your home mija?"
We had a very expensive stroller still in the box in the coat closet of our apartment. It wasn't even something we discussed as an option for getting Annalise home (or anywhere for that matter, but I had a feeling it would be awhile before Britt or I were ready to leave with her again) instead, we'd decided I'd carry her in the wrap designed for babies under eight pounds that Finn and Rachel tracked down for us. Holding Annie against my chest, Britt wrapped us up like we'd seen in the YouTube video that we'd watched about four dozen times.
Once Little Bean was secured, Britt picked up the bag that held everything we'd brought with us, plus the diapers and "just in case" preemie formula that the nurses thrust upon us. After wrapping her arm around my waist, Brittany whispered to the baby and we waved one last goodbye to the people who'd been so good to us all for Annie's whole life.
Our walk home was completely uneventful, but we stopped several times just to stare down at our beautiful girl either blinking in the sunlight, yawning or making tiny noises against my chest. When we finally walked in the door to our apartment, it was really the first time the place felt like home again. All the Lopez-Pierce girls were together there for the first time.
"Welcome home, Annalise." Britt whispered, even though she had fallen asleep.
"She's really here with us." I said, amazed.
Our first night was completely uneventful, and Britt and I both decided that we were probably spoiled with how good our baby was. Once we finally felt like we should stop holding her and put her down for the night, we swaddled her and laid her in the Moses Basket at the foot of our bed (I was so glad we'd listened to Kurt and bought it, having her in the nursery seemed like miles away). With our own exhaustion setting in, Britt and I got ourselves ready and climbed in to bed with our feet against the headboard, heads beside the footboard so we could be closer to Annie.
We'd stared at her for a while, having never spent the night with her so close to us, but I finally snuggled close to Britt and we fell asleep. When Annie woke up to eat, I lay with my head propped on my hand, watching my wife and daughter in the moonlight that seeped in through the window. I'd probably never seen anything as beautiful as that, and although I'd managed to make it through the whole day without crying, tears formed in my eyes. Brittany handed me the baby so I could kiss her goodnight again and tuck her back in the basket, and I also placed a kiss on Britt's forehead.
"I love you baby. I love you Santana." She whispered,
"I love you baby. I love you Brittany." I echoed.
They were it, everything I'd ever wanted. It was the three of us against the world, and no matter what, we would make it though.
Credits:
Loser Like Me, Glee