BROKEN AND BRANDED IS NOW COMPLETELY POSTED! ALL THREE PARTS ARE NOW FINALLY UP FOR YOUR READING ENJOYMENT! So please go back and check them out when you have a chance. Thanks to all my readers for your patience again and enjoy it at last! And hey I just made it within my self-imposed deadline too!

Set between "Nightmares and Daydreams" and "Day of the Black Sun."

The Big Questions

"I wasn't me."

Zuko continued to stare at the portrait of his father. The eyes of the painting stared down at him fierce and foreboding. It was a posture with which Zuko was all too familiar, Firelord Ozai staring down at his subjects. Not the posture between a father and son. This time, there had been no bowing or scraping. He, the crown prince, had sat at his father's right hand. And yet…when Zuko looked up at that portrait, he didn't see a parent granting him the position out of love. He saw a distant stranger.

Ozai wanted a legacy greater than Great-Grandfather Sozin and to achieve that, he'd come up with the plan of a madman! Ozai had given Zuko a chance to speak and then twisted his words in a way to justify genocide. He'd felt sick to his stomach that anyone could conceive such a horrendous plan. It took everything Zuko had not to speak out against it, but phantom pains from his scar wound not let him make the same mistake twice. Worst of all, Azula had agreed with their father. Burning down the Earth Kingdom was technically her idea. The lack of warmth from either of them had made Zuko shiver even in the sweltering throne room.

Was this the world his father expected his children to inherit? One of ashes? Is this what he thinks we want? Somehow, Zuko didn't think he was part of that consideration. It was what Ozai wanted. It was what Azula wanted too.

But not me.

"What do you want?" The question assaulted him. Its voice so clear, it wasn't a thought but a memory. Uncle's voice. "It's time to start asking yourself the big questions. 'Who are you?' and 'What do you want?' "

I wasn't me.

"Who are you?" the voice echoed in his head again.

Mai's fingers tightened on his arm when he'd spoken, a gesture of comfort. Was she waiting for him to explain what he meant, like the voice in his head? But he couldn't. He didn't know who he was anymore. He only knew that none of what he'd experienced since he'd returned home felt right anymore except her. Maybe the other question would be easier.

"What do you want?"

He took a deep breath allowing his perfect princely posture to slump, his shoulders sagged. He needed time to think.

"I have some things to sort out Mai."

He looked at his girlfriend. Her eyebrows rose a little, head slightly cocked waiting for his answer. Her way of asking if he needed to talk. Instead, he disentangled his arm out of her grasp.

"Alone."

With that he walked away, but not before he saw her brow crease in concern. But he couldn't explain it to her when he didn't understand it himself. Not yet.

Zuko wandered the palace with no destination in mind. Calling the war meeting an "all-day" affair had been no exaggeration. It was early night as he found himself out in the gardens, heading in the familiar direction of the turtleduck pond. It was his place to be alone ever since his mother had gone. Zuko wondered what she would make of him now. He had a feeling she wouldn't be pleased.

"What do you want?" The question had only gotten louder now that he'd found solitude, as if he expected to turn around and see Uncle standing there asking him in person. He walked a little faster trying to out-pace his uncle's "ghost."

I don't want to inherit a world of ashes. I don't want the Earth Kingdom to burn.

But what could he do about it? In order for that to happen, the war would have to end.

I want the war to end!

The thought was so strong it reverberated like a gong and stopped Zuko in his tracks. Still hearing the echo in him mind, he wondered if he'd spoken the words aloud too. His eyes darted around, but he was alone, no guards in sight, and only a few paces away from the tree shading the beloved pond. He quickly crossed to it, wanting its familiar shadowy embrace to combat the shock of his answer to his uncle's question.

I want the war to end!

But more than that, he wanted to stop his father's insane plan. But how? How could he possibly begin to think that? To defy his father like he had before only to end up what? Scarred? Banished? Dead! It was madness even to try! Zuko touched his scarred skin in a familiar unconscious gesture. He lowered his eyes in defeat.

Except…

The Firelord is wrong!

Treason!

Father is wrong!

No father who truly loved him would ever have done that to his own son!

Such rebellious thoughts…

But anything Zuko thought he had with his father now was all based on a lie. He hadn't killed the Avatar.

I'm not who you think I am father and I never will be! I don't want to be like you! I want to save this world from your madness, not destroy it! That is the truth!

Zuko closed his eyes, expecting a wash of shame to come over him for such disobedient thoughts. But none came. The imaginary blow of punishment he'd expected wasn't there. Zuko opened his eyes and was surprised at the vivid clarity that greeted him. Perhaps it was just the adrenaline of fear he hadn't needed after all or his night vision kicking in from years of training being the Blue Spirit but he was struck at how everything around him came into such sharp focus. The colors of the flowers looked more vivid, the moonlight on the pond brighter. The shadows of the trees were blacker. The cricket-spiders chirped, and he could pinpoint their exact location in the grass. He sat there silent for a few minutes absorbing it all like the way his firebending self absorbed sunlight.

A turleduck's loud quack startled him out of it all too soon. Yet as his heightened senses returned to normal, Zuko realized that the clarity and the truth of his guilt-free thoughts remained. The smoke in his mind had finally cleared.

His father – Ozai – would never accept him for who he truly was. But…it wasn't the end of the world. The loss he'd expected in finally admitting such a truth to himself simply wasn't there. When Zuko thought of gaining his father's love now he felt…nothing, because truthfully there has been nothing between father and son for a very long time. And the cost of continuing this charade, living a lie, was too high.

But if who he was now was a lie…

"Who are you?" The other big question came back into his mind and the automatic response followed.

I am Zuko, son of Ursa and Firelord Ozai, prince of the Fire Nation and heir to the throne! Zuko thought, proud as ever. In the moonlight, he saw his reflection in the turtleduck pond. His back straightened as more words followed this time. My blood is the royal blood of kings… and the noble blood of the Avatar himself!

Zuko's hand reached up and touched the flame ornament of his topknot. This wasn't the one he should be wearing. Sozin and Roku's crown had been delivered into his hands along with the strange truth of his ancestry by Uncle himself and only a few days ago. Zuko's mind was still reeling from the ramifications.

"Within you, amidst all the strife, is the ability to restore balance to the world."

In his confusion, Zuko hadn't understood him at the time. But it had been important enough that Uncle had broken his silent treatment despite Zuko's betrayal. After the war meeting, Zuko finally thought he understood. History was repeating itself. Father was following in Sozin's footsteps. Azula, though she came from the same legacy Zuko did, would do the same. But Zuko had a choice to make. It was just like Ba Sing Se. He couldn't fail his uncle or the world again.

This time his destiny was clear.

If he didn't act, the Earth Kingdom would meet the same fate as the Air Nomads. The Water Tribes would be next. Zuko would not let that happen even if it meant…joining the Avatar! Uncle was right. He did have the power to make the difference!

Uncle…I'm so sorry!

The one who had always been there for him, loved him no matter what, like his own son. Like a true father. How could he ever have betrayed him? How could he ever have lost himself so badly?

"Never forget who you are!"

Oh Mother, I did. I did!

Tears fell, dripping into the edge of the pond. They sent out ripples of regret, creating waves in the reflection of the moon. Zuko looked up at the real one above. He remembered the North Pole, the eclipse of the moon, and what it did to the waterbenders by blocking their power. The equivalent would happen for his own people on the Day of the Black Sun.

Azula knew all about the planned sneak attack though. The other half of the war meeting had been about going over their own plans to counterattack and spring a trap. Everyone thought it a last ditch plan of the enemy now that "the greatest threat to the Fire Nation" was gone. Zuko alone knew the surprise was also on them. The Avatar was alive! And as long as he lived there was hope. And as long as there was hope there was a chance to end this war!

Tomorrow, Zuko would make his move, but until then he still had to bide his time. No one could know what he was planning. Not even Mai… Zuko sighed with a heavy heart. She was the one good thing he was leaving behind. He hated to say goodbye, but Mai deserved someone who wasn't about to commit treason. If only there was more time, maybe he could explain to her, make her see that what he was doing was for the good of all. He couldn't drag her into it. The less she knew the better. She'd be among the first his sister would question when Azula found him and Uncle gone. The two of them would find some way to stop Ozai and join the Avatar's group.

Zuko finally knew who he was and what he wanted. He'd answered the big questions and in doing so found his own destiny at last.

Notes: I love Day of the Black Sun, but I've always wondered what Zuko's thought process was to get there from the time he stopped out of that war meeting to his fateful decision the next morning. Where exactly in that presumably sleepless night was the epiphany moment? It seemed ripe for a story, but I haven't seen anyone else tackle it to my knowledge. So when the muse came, I decided to jump at it. Thanks again to by beta Lunatique!