(A/N- ::cringe:: Only in retrospect do I realize how much the last few chapters sucked... ::groan:: I'm considering just taking this fic down and discontinuing it, if you want the honest truth, because there's maybe three people who are actually reading it anymore. If you want me to continue writing and posting it, please tell me so, because I'm getting a little discouraged here. Plus, I have a lot to do with school and work and martial arts, so if you want me to continue using my increasingly limited free time to write this, some moral support would be uber.)

WARNING: LIME CONTENT (up to and including third base) IN THIS CHAPTER. If this offends you... well, you probably wouldn't be reading this fic, now that I think about it. But don't read unless you're sure nobody who cares will be looking over your shoulder. This is for all of you who've been wanting to beat Link and Millerna over the heads with a frying pan for spending thirty-plus chapters blushing at each other. I know Theresa, Erika, and Heidi can't be the only ones. But you know what, if you don't like it, don't flame - just stop reading it, and don't review at all, because flames piss me off, and my self-esteem is low enough as it is.

"Wow, you are definitely a mediocre swordswoman," Link teased as he effortlessly blocked my swing for the millionth time. We'd gotten a little bored of the Gerudo party, and decided to spar in the big archery range behind the city after a brief excursion to the armory to find me a sword to use.

"Hey, I'd like to see you try to battle in this get-up!" I growled, frustrated, as I continued to slash at him, and he continued to parry every blow flawlessly. He grinned.

"Your clothing is not your problem," he informed. "Your problem is that you fight by swinging your sword around like a drunken madwoman; swordfighting takes strategy, not just hacking away at your opponent," he added. Fed up, I threw the sword down and landed a turning side kick to his stomach. I didn't put much power behind it, I just wanted to wipe the cocky smirk off his face for a few seconds.

"I never liked using swords anyway," I snapped, crossing my arms and turning my back to him, my ego severely bruised.

"Sore loser," he said, chuckling. I felt my cheeks flaming in anger, but he was right - I hated losing to anyone. "You can't win all the time."

"That does nothing to change the fact that I despise being bested, particularly by you," I huffed. He hugged me from behind, and my heart melted instantly. "Don't do that, I'm trying to be mad at you."

"I know that," he said, kissing my temple. "I'm creating a diversion."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't," I agreed after a few seconds, as I turned around to return his embrace. I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, wrapped up tightly in each other's arms, but it was interruped far too soon, and far too loudly.

"Aren't they cuuuuuute?"

We jumped apart to see Nabooru standing a few yards away, smirking her head off.

"Can I help you, Nabooru?" Link ground out between clenched teeth. Nabooru waved her hand dismissively.

"Nah, just felt like checking up on you kids, you've been away from the party for a while, and we were getting a little worried," she explained. "Though honestly, you two go off alone for a few hours, nobody knows what you're up to... Damn, I was hoping to at least catch you kissing."

"At least?!" I cried indignantly, an embarrassed blush rising in my face.

"Voyeur," Link accused, his own cheeks scarlet at the implications. The Queen of Thieves's grin widened.

"Guilty," she admitted, then sighed. "Well, since there's nothing interesting going on up here, I suppose I'll be heading back now. Enjoy the rest of your night," she called, sauntering off back down the hill. Suddenly self-conscious again, I wrapped my arms over my bare stomach.

"She's not exactly subtle, is she?"

"Not by a long shot," he replied, looking as uncomfortable as I felt. He cleared his throat. "It is getting kinda late, though, maybe we should get to bed."

"Yeah," I agreed.

After returning my ill-used sword to the armory, Link and I found our way to what Nabooru and Kali had sworn vehemently was the only available room in the village. Neither of us particularly believed that story, however, and although we slept together more often than not, it was embarrassing to think that other people actually knew about it. Like they were presuming we did things that we didn't do.

All complaints aside, though, it was a gorgeous room, decorated in rich purples, pinks, greens, and oranges with a low bed in the center surrounded by a silk canopy. Even more, there were countless exotic plants in hand-painted clay pots scattered around the room, giving it a flowery smell.

"It's so pretty!" I exclaimed happily, letting myself fall backwards onto the bed.

"I swear, you're so girly sometimes," he said, taking off his boots before joining me on the bed, propping himself up with an elbow.

"Yeah, well, I blame that on you," I replied. He gave me an understandably confused look.

"How so?" he asked, grasping me about the waist with his free arm and pulling me closer to him. Commence warm, fuzzy feeling and fluttering in my stomach.

"Well, I mean... most of my life I've kinda acted like a boy," I explained, cringing inwardly at just how cheesy my next words were bound to sound. "I never really even felt like a girl... until I met you. I know how dumb that sounds," I added hurriedly.

"It doesn't sound dumb all, stop doing that," he scolded gently, bringing his hand up to fingercomb my hair. "Nothing you've ever said has been dumb."

"Even the whole thing about that tree in the forest mocking me?"

"That was insane, not dumb," he corrected, laughing, as he bent to kiss me.

"Your belt buckle is digging into my stomach," I winced. Normally I doubt it would have bothered me, but metal edges against bare skin isn't too comfy.

"Oh, sorry about that," he said, quickly removing the belt, and kissing my stomach apologetically.

Okay, this is not supposed to turn me on, I chided myself as warmth started spreading through me. Damn you, body.

"I still haven't figured out how they talked you into wearing this," he said, gracing me with his beautiful smile. I looked away, blushing, not at all in the mood to admit that I'd been coaxed into said outfit with the promise that he'd enjoy seeing me in it.

"They're evil, manipulative bitches," I answered truthfully. "Particularly Kali."

"Well, no arguments there," he chuckled, lightly stroking my midriff with his fingertips and making me blush even more. "But personally, I kind of like it." Alright, so the slutty costume wasn't a complete waste after all...

"I still don't like anybody seeing my stomach," I grumbled.

"Why not?"

"I have no idea, I'm just shy about it," I confessed.

"I just kind of figured... you know, after the other morning when I accidentally saw..." he trailed off, blushing and refusing to look me in the eye.

"Yeah, about that, um..." I swallowed nervously, but decided now was as good a time as any to put my mind at ease. Or lack thereof, depending on his answer... "Did it totally disappoint you? Seeing my breasts, I mean. I know they're too small-"

"Will having small breasts keep you from nursing a child?"

"No, but-"

"Then there's no problem with them, so stop complaining. Plus, if you want my opinion, smaller breasts are more attractive anyway," he added quietly, running his knuckles along the underside of my left breast, and glancing at me as though he half expected me to smack him for it. If he'd been anyone else, I would have smacked him, but as it were...

"Your hands are warm," I sighed. Seemingly emboldened by my lack of physical violence in response, he took the entire breast in his palm. "And they're shaking like crazy," I added teasingly, failing to restrain a giggle. Looking embarrassed, he pulled away, sitting up and crossing his arms.

"I've never done this before, alright? Excuse me if I'm a little shy," he said defensively, looking pointedly away from me.

"You're so cute when you're pouting," I cooed. He turned his head toward me, and I expected him to come up with a smart-assed retort (I had been rubbing off on him, after all). Instead, he pulled me astride his lap and gave me the kind of kiss Nabooru would probably have sold her soul to walk in on and tease us about. I yanked his hat off and threw it in the general direction of the door before wrapping my arms around his neck, and he put his hands on my hips in response. I almost fainted when I felt his tongue in my mouth, but in my defense we'd never kissed with our mouths open before. It was nice - made me feel tingly.

I took my arms from around his neck in favor of sliding my hands up his shirt and massaging his incredibly yummy chest and stomach. I felt him shiver before conceding and just helping me to pull his shirt off. I ogled him shamelessly for a second (okay, he's hot, leave me alone) before returning my lips to his. I shifted my weight slightly, and he hissed. I broke the kiss.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked, wondering how I'd managed that.

"You didn't hurt me," he assured, though once again he seemed incapable of looking me in the eye, and was blushing furiously. "It's just a little uncomfortable for you to be moving around in my lap right now, considering..." Very slowly, it dawned on my exactly why. And I started blushing even more than he was.

"Maybe I can help with that," I offered. Where the hell I got the nerve from, I have no clue, but I found myself slipping one hand down his chest and into his pants to stroke him. My breath caught at the feel of him in my hand, and I couldn't help but picture the other things that could be done with that particular piece of anatomy.

"Goddesses, have you always been this bold, and I just failed to notice it?" he breathed, his eyes closing in pleasure.

"Hey, I'm surprising myself here, so just enjoy it until my modesty returns." Was it bad of me to get so much joy from the fact that I had reduced the Hero of Time to groaning and panting? Because I was really getting off on the power, and was practically high off it when he came, calling my name before collapsing onto the tall pile of silk brocade pillows behind his back. Ayden hadn't been lying, apparently, when he'd told me how much an orgasm took out of someone.

"Damn," he said, still breathing heavily. "That was... wow." I felt my cheeks burning, and smiled shyly.

"Glad you liked it," I replied, rubbing his stomach again, "because I don't know where it came from, or if I can summon the guts to do it again. I think maybe I let Freya and Ishtar give me too much mead," I joked nervously, now that my modesty was, in fact, returning in full force. He laughed.

"Strong stuff, but I don't think that's the case," he responded. "You seem perfectly sober to me."

So much for convincing myself that the delicious honey wine was to blame for my actions. I didn't have the opportunity to worry about it for long, though, before he lay me on my back, kissing my neck and collar bone. The throbbing between my legs was becoming almost painful at that point, but I couldn't really complain. He gave me a mischievous smile that made my heart skip a few beats.

"So," he began, trailing a finger down my body, beginning at my clavicle and ending at the ridiculously low, gilded waistband of my pants. "Can I...?"

"No!" I cried, horrified.

"No?" he repeated, looking confused and, honestly, a little hurt. I decided to elaborate.

"I have my period," I explained, more than slightly peeved at the monthly side-effect of being female. As if there could have been a worse night for me to be bleeding from the womb...

"If you think I'm at all squeamish about that, you're mistaken." Okay, valid point. Still...

"I don't wanna get blood everywhere," I said, biting my lip.

"Millerna, this entire city is made up of women. They all get their periods, and they will understand." Why was he making so much sense tonight? And why the hell was I second-guessing this?

"If you're sure it doesn't gross you out..."

"Not in the least," he assured, slipping his hand under the waistband. I held my breath as his fingers carressed my outer folds, before gently separating them to trace my opening. "There was something I kept hearing being mentioned in stories," he said over the sighs and moans I was sure were coming out of my mouth, "if only I can find where it is..."

"I think you found it," I gasped as his thumb brushed over the exact place I'd felt the throbbing, and it sent an intense shock through me. He continued to massage the same place, and I felt like I might burst. "Oh, yeah, no question. God, that's nice..." He kissed me softly.

"You're so beautiful like this," he whispered in my ear, at the same time as he slid two fingers into me, moving them slowly in and out. It felt strange and startled me for a second, but damn, it felt good. Moments later all the built-up tension basically exploded, hitting me with the best feeling I'd ever had, and I had to bite my tongue for fear that I'd scream, thus allowing everyone in the vacinity to know what we'd been doing.

"How the hell did you learn to do that?" I demanded, still panting, and enjoying the all-over relaxation I was now experiencing. He blushed and flashed a gorgeous smile.

"Would you believe me if I said I had no idea?"

Meanwhile...

"Farore, come on, couldn't you have let me take it a little farther?" Nayru nagged, tugging on the sleeve of the Goddess of Courage's green yukata. Farore rolled her eyes.

"Nayru, I think you've manipulated Link's mind enough in the past few days. Play with your own Triforce-Wielder," she replied. Nayru pouted.

"But Zelda's booooring, and I wanted them to make love," she complained.

"You wanted to watch them make love," Din corrected, glancing at her sister overtop the scroll she was in the process of reading.

"Unfortunately, however, not all of us share your penchant for watching mortals copulate," Farore added.

"Excuse me, Miss 'I-have-a-huge-collection-of-dirty-romance-scrolls-that-I-keep-hidden-under-my-bed', at least I'm an honest pervert! And you know that if it were any other pair of mortals, you'd let them have sex. You're just overprotective of Link," Nayru accused, sticking her tongue out.

"He's mine, and I'm allowed to be," Farore answered stubbornly, crossing her arms. Nayru made a face.

"Din, make her wrong!"

"Can't do, she has a point," the Goddess of Power informed, shrugging. Nayru grumbled, fell into a cushy chair, and pulled the box of donuts on the end table into her lap.

"Fine, then these are all mine. I'll bite anyone who tries to eat one."

"If she didn't keep hogging all the donuts, maybe the Sages would actually start coming to staff meetings," Din speculated, primly rearranging her red yukata over her knees.

"How the hell did you get named the Goddess of Wisdom, Nayru?" Farore asked, shaking her head. Nayru simply snapped her teeth, and bit into a donut.

"She really is smarter than she acts, though," Din said fairly. "Sometimes."

(A/N- As I said earlier, if you don't like it, just don't review it. Flames me no likey.)