Author's Note: I do apologize for the long wait on this. I wanted to post on Sunday, but FFN was wildly broken all this time, so I'm posting today. That's okay. We're still not too far off schedule. I'm back to work and also I have a lot going on in my life at the moment that I'm not quite ready to share just yet, so posting may slow down. On the other hand, I've gotten a couple of chapters ahead, so if I start getting a feedback craving, I might post again soon. We'll just have to play it by ear.

Humor warning: This one is short, but I think amusing. I hope you enjoy it. (I broke it where I did because of topic. Sorry for the shortness.)

Disclaimer: Very soon I will own a beautiful plush rendition of Erik. One Erik is enough for anyone, so please plan to buy one of the remaining 248 so they don't get trapped in my garage for the rest of eternity, which is a fate worse than death.

We were on our way through the main foyer when a woman all in blue and silver with glitter and sequins accosted us suddenly.

"Bernardo!" she said suddenly, her voice a breathy whisper. "It is Bernardo under there, is it not?" And when he did not reply she continued "Oh, don't pretend you don't know me!"

I turned away and pretended to be entirely absorbed in taking a long draught of my drink so as not to appear to be listening to his conversation, which, of course, I was.

"I know it is you! I easily recognized you even at this distance when I saw you standing over there. I don't need to be able to see your face, silly darling! I would recognize the outline of your hips in those trousers anywhere.

It was at this point that my drink became something of an inconvenience. I spit most of it out as it threatened to drown me as soon as my laughter began. I sprayed the golden liquid in a most glorious arc in front of me before it landed wastefully on the polished marble. I shook my head and left Erik's side to refill my glass.

"Oh, Red Death! An amazing costume," I heard someone say at the bar. I rolled my eyes.

On the way back, I noticed not only Erik's narrow and apparently easily identifiable hips but also the fact that the woman's arm was now gracefully wrapped around them. I crept up quietly to determine whether Erik was on the verge giving in a few hours early.

"But it has been so long," the woman bleated. "Let me take you home."

"Tonight, I have obligations here," he responded. "I will be missed. It simply isn't possible. Tomorrow. Or the next day. Every night for the rest of your life if you wish, but not tonight," Erik said quietly.

"I shall not be here every night for the rest of my life!" She batted her lashes prettily and put her free hand upon his as she leaned close. "But right now, I am." She said these words in a breathy tone right by his ear and he visibly stiffened at them.

"Oh, how I wish I could," he said wrapping an arm about her. "Oh, my darling... my sweet...." he murmured. "But tonight I am indisposed."

She smiled sweetly. "Oh," she said in the same breathy whisper, "that's a pity. Such a pity for you." She unwound herself from his skinny arm and sauntered away.

He put his drink to his lips. I noticed a slight flush to his face even through his white makeup. He downed the drink in a single gulp as I reached him. "Ah, there you are, Bernardo," I said nonchalantly.

"There you are," he responded, taking my glass and repeating the gesture.

I glared at him and stalked away to obtain yet another drink. Meanwhile he gathered his long cloak about him as though to hide the shape of his hips. I snickered.

"Let's go." As I led him through the crowd, I made a point of saying "Careful everyone. Careful, careful. Stand aside. Red Death passing by." Onlookers ooohed and ahhhed and Erik was quite content in all the positive attention.

"Do not touch," people repeated, reading Erik's cloak. "I am the Red Death..."

But the ridiculousness of everyone reading Erik's cloak paled in comparison to the ladies who repeatedly approached him. That, too, was repeated several times that evening. A woman in a gown of gold and a half mask to match (who had had way to much too drink already) tripped up to him, grabbed him by both sides of his face and kissed him full on the mouth. "Take that stupid mask off so you can kiss me back," she said under her breath, and I recognized the voice in an instant as Carlotta's.

"Mmmmm..." Erik replied putting his supposed mask near to her face and rubbing his bony cheek against her soft rosy one. "How tempting an offer that is," he replied. "I daresay I shall take you up on that just as soon as the party ends, yes? Do not go far, darling."

"Careful! Don't touch. That's the Red Death, you see," a man walking by told the lady on his arm, and she was duly impressed.

"Perhaps the two of us shall go far before the party ends, my dear?" Carlotta suggested coyly. She got especially close to Erik then so that their bodies were nearly touching. Oh, the things people feel they can do when a mask covers their face! I heard Erik's breath quicken, saw the fingers of his hand begin to tremble as they did in the cellar when Christine got too close.

Should he give in early? Oh, but what was the fun in that?

"The two of you?" I questioned, placing myself near them, then thrusting myself between them. "The two of you? Now, that's hardly fair," I said, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks beneath my own mask. "What about me? Perhaps the three of us. Or perhaps you'd like to bring a friend or two? I know a place we can go... No? Oh, such a pity. Ah, but forget old red death, here. He's contagious and lethal. But I... oh, I shall make you laugh and squeal with delight...." I managed to get a handful of her derrière in one hand and give it a gentle coaxing squeeze. She demured. "No? Maybe later then. If you'll excuse me, Death and I have a date with a card game, I believe."

Erik put a hand heavily upon my shoulder. "Many thanks," he choked.

I shrugged. "I'm enjoying this," I told him and gulped what remained of the drink in my hand. "I'd hate to see you fail."

"Whoa-ho!" Someone said nearly bumping into Erik. "Don't touch! Sorry!" and as he walked away someone else near by murmured, "Do not touch... Red Death... Passing..."

Erik leaned heavily upon me. "Thank you for that last," he said in a tone tinged with pain. "I rather think I might have given in just then if you hadn't intervened. A week, six days and nineteen and three-quarters of an hour gone to waste!"

"Come on," I said pulling him by his velvet and feathers. "There is a game waiting for us."

Shameless Begging: Well, FFN is finally back up and running, and reviews are at an all time low from when it was down, so please, please review