Chapter 35
Reg chuckled as he poured himself a fresh cuppa.
~What's so funny?~ asked Bulgy.
"Those engine's are up to something. I think their magic has gone on the wonk an' they're trying to hide it. Remember that short blonde girl who went past earlier on? Well, Sir Topham just tried to join her to the railway magic, but it all went wrong an' she collapsed, an' I asked Thomas about what he was up to last week an' he gave me a load of bullshit an' then that Lady bitch went all huffy an' hid from me! I phoned Tiberius an' told him about their magic trouble, so it's up to him to sort it out now!"
~These pesky trains back running means we'll be going back to our service work, I suppose?~
"Yeah, mate, that's about it. Still, while it was fun nicking all their passengers, I'll be glad to get back on our regular routes."
~Yeah,~ agreed the double-decker. ~It's a shame, though,~ the bus continued. ~I was looking forward to all the extra work we'd have without any trains on the island to carry people about!~
"Aah, don't you fret about that, Bulgy, my old friend," said Reg, now hand-rolling a cigarette. "I believe Tiberius has something else up his sleeve!"
Once their break was over, Reg spent the rest of the day trying, and without much success, to persuade would-be passengers to ride on his bus instead of the unreliable trains, though it seemed, he thought to himself miserably, the travelling public preferred the speedier train services rather than his slower bus!
ooo
Arriving back at Gemma's, and carrying a large pile of books that Sir Topham had given her to read, Jeanie cursed as the spare door key nearly fell from her hand, and after struggling with her thumb and two fingers to reposition it, managed to unlock the front door. Bumping it open with her shoulder, she carefully stepped over the threshold without tripping over it, she sighed of relief and entered the house. Gemma was still in work, and so she carried the books into the lounge before any of them fell and let them slide onto the settee cushions, letting out another sigh as her arms became free of their heavy load.
Vigorously rubbing her arms to get the circulation back, she ran her eyes across the titles of the books. They included a quite thick edition of "British Railway Legislation Handbook - Revised", a box-file containing several publications such as the "Railway Group Standards Rule Book", "The Working Manual for Rail Staff: Freight Train Operations" and "The Working Manual for Rail Staff: Handling and Carriage of Dangerous Goods", to name just a few. There was also a booklet describing the course on railway management, economics and planning she'd be enrolling on when the next term started. She frowned, wondering just how long it would take before any of the different subjects would begin to make proper sense to her, but then nodded reassuringly to herself with the thought that it didn't matter how long it would take her, just that she would be doing her best to learn as much as she could so that she would be useful and productive to Sodor Railways, and especially so to Sir Topham as her employer.
She picked up the thickest one, the legislation handbook, and flicked through it, raising her eyebrows as she skimmed through some of its dry, formal text. No, she wouldn't start with that particular one just yet, she thought, and instead, opted for the slimmer and far simpler-sounding "Railway Timetabling & Operations".
She knew her sister would no doubt be put out about her returning to work at the railway company, and rather than leave them strewn on the settee and invite more cross words, she arranged them into a tidy pile on the end cushion. She should be happier when she sees how serious I am about this!
With all her worry and anxiety that morning, and then the exhilaration she'd felt afterwards when she'd decided to do the right thing and stay with the railway, it had been a very emotional and tiring day for her, and though still feeling the high of elation, she was exhausted. The thought came into her head that she ought to consider how lucky she was, after all, how many other girls would get the same wonderful opportunity as her to experience the magic of the railway, and, after choosing which book she'd start her studies with onto the seat of the armchair by the front window, she went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea and some toast as a snack. She'd had some food earlier in the station café before leaving for Gemma's, and would wait for her sister to come home before having a cooked meal for supper.
Settling down not long after in the armchair with her tea, toast and book, she started reading, soon finding the new information she was taking in to be quite interesting, and seeming to understand the concepts put forward by the text with relative ease. So focused on her reading, she didn't realise how quick the time had gone until she heard the front door opening, and reluctantly put the book down to take her now empty cup and plate into the kitchen to wash up, masking her irritation at being drawn away from her reading.
Gemma closed the front door with a deep sigh, glad to finally be home. She'd been rushing all afternoon to get some important documents finished and ready to be signed and witnessed and sent over to the Magistrate's Court before it closed for the day, and between trying to do all that and not worry about her sister, she, too, had had a stressful day, and thinking of stress, maybe I'll have a decent night's sleep tonight now she's given that job of hers up."Oh, hi, sis," she said, greeting her sister just coming out of the lounge.
"Hi, Gem," Jeanie said back to her, sounding happy enough to Gemma's ears. Well, there's hope for me, yet!
"You want a cuppa?" Jeanie then asked her, taking her dishes into the kitchen.
"Yeah, thanks. I'd love one!" said Gemma wearily, and after putting her briefcase down on the floor just inside the lounge, called out, "Well, how'd it go, then?"
"It went rather well" she heard Jeanie call back against the sound of the kettle being filled.
As she went to join her sister in the kitchen, Gemma asked, "You glad to be free of that place now?"
"I'm not 'free' of that place, as you put it," her sister retorted, scowling at her. "I decided to stay there."
"WHAT?" Gemma shrieked in disbelief. "Christ, Jeanie, only this morning you were all for giving it up! What the hell do you want to stay there for?" she demanded, determined to get to the bottom of this and put some sense into her sister's head.
"Before you set off on one, Gemma," her sister said calmly as she plugged the kettle in and flicked on the switch, "I talked with Sir Topham and listened to what he had to offer me, and I thought it was worth all the, er, inconvenience I've been having lately. He-"
"INCONVENIENCE?" Gemma almost yelled. "It's a bit MORE than just inconvenience, if you ask me! I mean, that job of yours is not only giving you nightmares, but it's made you ratty as fuck! You'd better have a damn good reason for wanting to stay there, Jeanie, 'cos I sure wouldn't!"
"As I was saying," her sister continued in the same calm tone, "he was quite understanding when I told him I barley knew anything about the railways, but we talked about business courses and things and so, yeah, I decided it's what I want to do, and I'm really looking forward to it now."
Gob-smacked by this sudden turnaround, Gemma pulled a chair out from under the table and sat down heavily. "I...I just can't understand you, Jeanie," she said, frowning up at her. "I mean, the last two nights, you've been CRYING in your sleep, for fuck's sake, and all because of that job, and NOW you're talking about it as though it's all rainbows and pretty flowers and stuff! I mean, what the fuck's got into you, girl?"
"Gemma," her sister said, sitting down opposite her, "I know I've been a bit... touchy lately and saying some weird things, but that's all over now, finished. I'm...I'm the 'new' Jeanie, you could say, and I'm feeling much happier about working there since talking with Sir Topham earlier, and now, with the trains back running again, it'll all help me to learn more about the business side of it and be a really useful employee!"
Gemma didn't know what to say to that, and just stared at her sister. Yeah, it was about bloody time they did something like that, she thought to herself, and as much as she wanted to deny it, it countered any argument she could make against going back to work there. She felt so frustrated and angry with Jeanie she just wanted to scream! Didn't she think properly about what she was doing? That fucking job's stressed her so much already and given her not one, but two nightmares, for fuck's sake, and she just walks back into it! She slumped back in her chair and lowered her head, feeling quite defeated.
"All right, Jeanie," she sighed, looking back up at her sister, "I give up. There's obviously nothing I can say or do that'll change your mind."
Though they'd had words whenever the subject of her job came up over the last couple of days, continuing this current one would more likely ruin their friendship, Gemma thought, and she knew she had to bite her tongue.
"Okay," she said resignedly, "you've made your point. It's your decision and, as much as I disagree with it, I'll just say this and then I'm done... I really, really hope, Jeanie, that it doesn't turn round and bite you in the arse one day, and that's all I'm going to say on the matter other than I wish you all the best of luck with it!"
"Thank you," her sister said quite primly before getting up and going over to the now-boiling kettle. "I'll make you that cup of tea you wanted."
Gemma fumed inside as she watched her sister making her tea. What was that she just said about being the "new" Jeanie? Well, if this is the new one, then I don't like the way she's going about things! To Gemma, it was like she was acting like someone that had been brainwashed by a religious cult!
She pictured a the portly man Sir Topham her sister had drawn dressed up in regal-looking fineries as he led her to a railway siding on which stood the Holy Steam Engine of Sodor, her sister prostrating herself in front of it and pledging her allegiance to it and vowing to ensure its Will be done in the name of Sodor Railways as her fellow workers and railway staff looked on, genuflecting towards the engine and bringing it objects of significance like shiny pieces of coal that it may bless them to burn well and broken lamps that it could mend for them! Christ, she thought, if it wasn't such a serious matter, she'd have probably laughed at the thought, but there was nothing funny about how it was affecting her sister's mind and acting the way she had been! Then another thought struck her, and pushing her irritation at Jeanie's decision to one side for the moment, said, "You said just now that the trains were running again, yeah?"
The plan she'd made to meet Divya tomorrow in Brendam had meant travelling on one of the rail replacement buses, but it would more than likely be stopping in all the towns along the way, and she think she'd get there on time, but if she could get there by train... "Are they ALL back to normal?" she asked, then, trying to sound casual as though she wasn't upset with her sister.
"Most of the passenger services are," her sister replied nonchalantly as she brought Gemma's cup of tea to her before putting it on the table in front of her, "but the freight trains aren't back to full strength yet, at least, not until things are sorted out with the customers." To Gemma, her sister sounded a bit like a railway station announcer as she gave her this information.
"I saw a couple of engines today," her sister continued, smiling as she looked at her and interrupting her thought of phoning the railway station in the morning to check the times. "All bright colours and shiny metal with clouds of smoke and steam everywhere!" she added excitedly. "It was brilliant to see them so close up!"
"And what were THEIR names, then?" Gemma asked her in a sarcastic tone, expecting to hear some more loopy-talk. Despite what she'd just said about leaving the subject alone, she couldn't help asking the question .
"If you MUST know, Gemma, I didn't ask. It didn't matter, anyway, engines are engines whatever they're called."
"So you agree that they're machines, then, yeah?" Gemma retorted, staring defiantly at Jeanie. "And you don't think they're dead or going to die any more, then?"
"Now you're just being silly," her sister said mockingly before shaking her head as though Gemma was a young child that had just said something fanciful to hear. "Everyone knows that engines are machines, Gemma, and they CAN'T die because they were NEVER alive in the first place!"
"Then what about whatsisname, then?" insisted Gemma. "You drew that dragon and named him 'Idris', didn't you? What about him, then? So you're telling me you never imagined HIM as though he was real as well, eh?"
"That was for fun, Gemma," her sister replied, raising her chin and haughtily down her nose at her. "Like I told you, it was just my imagination that made me do that."
"Then what about all that other weird stuff you were saying, eh?" Gemma demanded, then, all hopes of a stress-free evening now gone down the pan as she became riled up again. "What about those magical earth-dragon-things and all that ley line stuff you were babbling on about?" and without allowing her sister a chance to respond, finished off with, "And what about when you made that cut on your hand bleed onto that 'magic' shape-thing you drew? That was sick, don't you think? It's as though you're obsessed with it, Jeanie! Can't you SEE there's something wrong with you?" Finished, and though regretting she'd actually said that last bit, felt slightly relieved that it had been put to her sister that there could be something seriously wrong with her. She folded her arms across her chest and thought, Let's see her explain THAT one, then!
"That... that was me being stupid enough to believe what that bloke in Glastonbury told me," her sister replied sheepishly, not quite meeting Gemma's gaze. "I... I don't know what came over me, I don't. It's all rubbish, anyway! Just... just stupid stuff that stupid people believe in!"
Gemma stared at her sister, puzzled over how she could deny something she'd been really insistent on, so insistent, even, that Gemma had been really frightened by what she'd done, and if, somehow, she could see inside the "new" Jeanie's head, she'd see the "old" one acting like a mime-artist desperately hammering her fists against the "invisible" barrier that surrounded her as she tried to escape her captivity, wordlessly screaming for her big sister not to listen to the imposter speaking for her, Gemma couldn't do that, and only saw what she believed was the problem.
"Jeanie..." she said softly but determinately, "I'm only thinking of what's best for you, I am. I mean, you drew a fucking monster and gave it a name, for fuck's sake, and what did it give back to you as a thank you gift? A fucking nightmare, THAT'S what it gave you, Jeanie! You've got it stuck in your head and won't let go of it, so don't you think THAT was stupid?"
Her sister huffed loudly, then, in a tone that Gemma felt was rather patronising, said, "Tell me, Gemma, do you think 'Tom and Jerry' are stupid? Do you think THEY exist in real life and give people nightmares? No, of course they don't, because they're not real and they only exist on TV and in comics, and you never hear of children having nightmares from kids' cartoons, do you? And, for your information, Gemma, I'm twenty-four years old, you know? I'm an adult and I'm quite capable of deciding what's best for me all by myself, thank you very much, and you're a bright one to speak of obsession, Gemma! Isn't it about time you stopped treating me as though I'm your daughter!"
Gemma stared open-mouthed at her sister, shocked into silence by what she just said to her, and feeling as though she'd just been punched in the gut. Her eyes began to water and she tried blinking the wetness away. The reminder of her life as a teenager had brought back bad memories of the countless arguments she'd had with her step-mother over Jeanie, and because of that, her father had stepped in and talked to her about the possibility of her maybe getting a place of her own now that she was old enough. All she wanted right then was to be somewhere other than in her kitchen before she said something she knew she'd later regret.
She stood up abruptly from the table, the back of her legs forcing her chair to collide against the washing machine with a loud bang, and she growled, "Do what you want, then, Jeanie! You haven't been right since you got here, and all I want is for you to be normal again, for you to sort yourself out, but you talk down your nose to me as though I'm a fucking simpleton and... and then accuse me of mothering you! Fuck making dinner tonight, I'm going down the chippy. You can sort your own food out!" and, wiping away the couple of tears that had slipped out and were running down her cheeks, she stormed out of the kitchen to get her purse from her briefcase before pulling the front door shut behind her with a loud slam.
ooo
As Gemma waited in the queue to be served, ignoring the ruined make up on her face, she brooded over the quarrel she'd just had, not only hating the fact that although she could see Jeanie's side of it and pretty much agreed with it, it was being reminded of her past that was continuing to ache inside her. Yes, she'd been mollified somewhat to know they were going to train her up for whatever job she'd be doing there, whatever it was, but right now, she was more angry with herself for the way she'd reacted at the end, confirming what her father had said to her that night, that Jeanie was his daughter, not hers, and proving her sister right when she'd accused her of being obsessed herself.
She was also feeling guilty for leaving the house the way she did. Another thing eating at her was what she might find when she got back home, that Jeanie may have had enough of her continual badgering and decided to return to her flat. The thought that she might want to not see her again pained her, and she searched for some way to make amends rather than spend the evening on tenterhooks trying not to say anything likely to spark off another argument.
As a way to say sorry to her, Gemma decided to get a couple of bottles of white wine and a four-pack of lager after leaving the chippy. They'd often had a few laughs together in the past with this combination, and maybe the gesture would show Jeanie that she bore no bad feelings towards her and wanted to make amends. The reluctant thought that maybe she'd end up being okay at the railway entered her mind, and she wondered what actual job her sister would be doing.
All she'd told her so far was that she'd been acting as some sort of assistant to the railway owner, and it was him sending her on that fucking errand that had caused all this mess, and she couldn't help wondering what the fuck had happened while her sister was away for it to have affected her so much. Jeanie wasn't telling her anything of any real importance, just a load of old twaddle about fucking ley lines and that weird shit about magic energies and dragon-forces, but to actually make her cut bleed like that, that was fucking gross!
What was that other thing she said? Gemma asked herself, recalling something Jeanie'd said the other night. Yeah, that's it. She said she'd already said too much and that it was "company business" and not any of my concern! 'Not my concern', the fucking cheek of it! It's a fucking railway company she works for, not M.I.5!
Not only being offended by being told that, but Gemma had been hurt, even, that her own sister didn't trust her enough to talk about what was supposed to be a simple train journey! Why the hell won't she say what happened to her?
Completely lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice one of the girls behind the fryer lifting out a fresh batch of chips, and only realised what was going on around her when the deep voice of the chippy owner said loudly, "YES, luv, are you going to order something or just stare into space all night?"
"Oh, s-sorry," she said, her face reddening as a man already being served by one of the girls looked over at her and raising his eyebrows at seeing her tear-streaked face, "I was miles away. I'll have a chicken and mushroom pie and chips, please. No salt or vinegar."
"You alright, miss?" the man asked her as he accepted his change.
Shit! She'd forgotten about her ruined make-up. Fuck it! I'll have a wash when I get home.
"Yeah, fine," she said, looking away from him, making it clear she didn't want to talk on the matter.
Stepping outside with the warm bundle tucked in one arm, she made her way over to the local grocery shopjust a few doors down to get the booze.
ooo
Back home, and on entering the lounge, she saw Jeanie sitting in the armchair near the front window reading one of the books she'd brought home earlier. The pile she'd seen on the settee earlier when she first got home from work was nowhere in sight. Probably taken them up to her room, she thought, and going over to stand by her sister, said, "I've got us some booze each," lifting one of the bottles out of the bag and holding it towards her. "I'm sorry for shouting at you earlier," she said softly. "No bad feelings, eh, sis?"
She saw Jeanie turn her head to look at the proffered gift and, as she took hold of it, say emotionlessly, "Thank you, Gemma, apology accepted, but I'll open it another time. I need to keep my head clear to take in the information from this book," and after putting the bottle down on the floor next to her chair, she turned back to her book and carried on reading.
Feeling a bit put out by the rejection, Gemma pouted, reluctantly accepting her sister's comment. Putting her own bottle, the cans and her food on the now empty settee, she took off her coat and went to hang it up in the hall. Fuck it, she thought, I'll drink on my own, then. After going into the kitchen to get a corkscrew, fork and a glass from the cupboard, she went back to the lounge and sat down to eat her food, but not before opening one of the cans and taking a few gulps to wet her throat.
Halfway through her food, Gemma tried again to break the ice, and, forcing politeness and curiosity into her voice, said, "What you reading, Jeanie?"
Jeanie tilted the book up face-front towards her, and she leant forward slightly to read the cover title. Railway Timetabling and Operations? Gawd, she IS serious about it, then, she thought, sitting back on the settee. "Oh. Interesting?" she asked.
"Very."
"Nice. What's it about?"
"Running a railway."
"Oh. Interesting, then, I suppose."
"Yes."
"Are you learning anything from it?"
"Yes."
"Nice."
After a half-minute or so of silence as she waited for Jeanie to enlighten her on what she'd learnt, Gemma thought to herself, Sod this for a lark! Her sister's lack-lustre replies were making it pretty obvious she didn't want to be disturbed, and so, getting up again, she got the TV remote from on top of the telly and, trying not to sound irritated, said, "It won't disturb you if I put the telly on, will it?"
"No, as long it's not too loud," her sister replied dryly.
Oo-er! thought Gemma before going back to sit down, damned if she was going to be the one to sit and sulk in her own home, and so she switched the TV on, lowering the sound a bit so as not to "disturb" her sister's reading, and gulped down what was left in the can she'd opened.
Opening a second can and putting it down next to her feet for easy reach, she settled down to watch Eastenders whilst she finished her food and to pass the time until the crime drama she was following came on. Glancing briefly over to her sister, she thought, Gawd, I wish I knew what's gotten into her?
Two soap operas, one crime drama, all four cans and most of her wine later, Gemma idly watched the closing credits scroll up the TV screen, realising with some bitterness that she'd missed why the chief inspector killed the robbery witness due to her mind being stuck on Jeanie and her weird behaviour, her meeting with Divya tomorrow, and her own reaction to being accused of obsessed.
The alcohol she'd consumed was already taking its toll on her, and her hurt feelings got lost in the roundabout series of thoughts circling in her head, stopping once in a while as she pondered over her sister's refusal to join in for a few drinks. It wasn't like Jeanie, she knew, and she wanted the old one to come back. Her drunkenness bolstering her self-confidence, she decided to finally clear the bad atmosphere between them, and muted the TV as the over-loud adverts started.
Dropping the TV remote on the floor so she could pick up the now nearly-empty bottle, she said, "So, -Urk! What's your job -Urk!- going to be, then, or aren't you allowed to tell me even THAT? Urk!" Fuck, I've got hiccups!
"Well," said Jeanie, perking up as though their argument earlier that evening hadn't even occurred and everything was forever rosy between them, "first of all, I'll be having a proper safety induction as I never had a one when I first started, then I'll be-"
"What?" Gemma gasped, shocked by this latest discovery about the incompetent railway company. "Fucking hell, sis, don't they haveproper health and -Urk!- safety procedures there?"
"Of course they do," her sister replied indignantly, glowering at her. "I had safety boots and a yellow high-viz to wear on my first DAY there, AND they gave me a long list of 'Do's and Don't's' I had to follow! Despite what you think, Gemma, it IS a proper company! Anyway, after that," she then continued, her tone now sounding quite placid, "I'll be spending a few weeks in the admin block being shown all the different offices and departments they have there, then I'll be starting work in the Public Relations department. Sir Topham said that due to me having a degree in Art and Design, I ought to be quite useful in their press and publicity section."
"Well, at least you'll be away from the trains- Urk! Damn these hiccups!" Gemma looked blearly at the nearly-empty bottle she was holding and debated whether to pour it into her glass and sip it slowly to try and clear her hiccups, or to just drink it straight from the bottle and be done with it. Feeling satisfied now that her sister was at least talking to her, she opted to knock it back in one go and add to the pleasurable "buzz" she was feeling.
"Ooh!" she said, just before the bottle touched her lips as she remembered something that was bound to get an amusing reaction from her sister. "Hey, Jeanie, does that mean you won't get to see your boyfriend so often? Which one was it, now? Yeah, Thomas or James, wasn't it, or is it someone else, someone you didn't want to draw for some reason? I hope to fuck you haven't fallen for your boss, my girl! I know you drew what he looked like, but -Urk!- he's fucking ancient, for fuck's sake!"
"Don't be silly, Gemma," Jeanie replied haughtily. "I don't have a boyfriend, though..."
"What?" Gemma said, pleased at seeing the offended look on her sister's face. "You mean, there IS someone? Aw, go on, sis, tell me who it is!" she begged gleefully.
"Well, Gemma..." said her sister, "it IS possible that I'll meet the right guy one day, after all, I might bump into him tomorrow for all we know, or, on the other hand, I might not."
"Aw, you spoilsport, Jeanie," Gemma mock-pouted, blissfully unaware that, being in the state she was, she'd misread her sister's unemotional reaction as some sort of subtle humour.
She laid back on the settee and rested her head on the padded arm, and watched her sister go back to her reading. She smiled, and said humorously, "You really had me going there, you -Urk!- silly cow!"
"Well, you shouldn't be so nosey, then, should you!" replied Jeanie, her eyes now fixed back on her book.
Gemma chuckled, feeling the tension she'd been holding onto all evening finally leave her, and she thought as she reached down to the floor to get the TV remote, Pity these bloody hiccups won't leave as well!
The railway magic influencing Jeanie didn't have an actual consciousness per se, but whereas with all the other railway employees it controlled by blending and working with their individual minds, in Jeanie's case, it had been introduced in two separate instances, a unique occurrence, and not being able to blend with her consciousness, could only work either in an "advisory" role or by trying to overpower any resistance she may have against its direction, the latter of which was what had been affecting her personality during the trip she went on and causing her to lose her cool. Now, though, with her consciousness of "self" having retreated beyond its influence, there was nothing to stop the railway magic from totally controlling this particular individual and get her up-to-speed on railway matters.
The consequence of this unique set of circumstances was that Jeanie's brain was now soaking up any and all information that would enable her to be really useful and serve the company and its owner in the best way possible, and so she eagerly lapped up the book's contents, enthralled as the book informed her that a deeper insight into the probability of incidents and the propagation of train delays was dependant on a thorough analysis of real world railway operations, and that the feedback obtained from such a study would subsequently lead to an optimisation not only of the timetable, but also to a network-wide improvement in traffic management performance. To the "new" Jeanie, this was really fascinating stuff, and it was so easy to learn and understand she just wanted to read and read and read!
Later, as the midnight news update finished, Gemma drowsily shook herself from nearly falling asleep and, after eventually finding the TV remote, managed to hit the mute button on her third attempt. She looked over to see her sister still reading her work book and nodded to herself. That's one determined girl, she told to herself. Continuing to stare at Jeanie, she smiled as she basked in the warmth of their "rekindled" friendship, content in the belief they'd got over their recent differences. Though not happy about her going back to work with the railway company, she nevertheless thought that if, at the end of the day, Jeanie was willing to put the effort in and stick it out there, then it may work out for the better, after all, she'd been struggling to find a job for ages.
It could also mean, she realised, that Jeanie may also end up having to stay longer here in Knapford, not that she'd really mind that, of course, well, at least until she can afford a place of her own, that is. The only real objection to that happening, she then mused, was that she wasn't really sure what was happening between her and her "boyfriend", seeing as he rarely called her these days, and if it ever got more serious between them than their few and far-between dates, well, she'd certainly want a bit of privacy, then, that's for sure!
Lost in her meandering thoughts, she idly watched her sister let out a weary yawn before placing a bookmark between the pages she was reading, and hoped that she'd be all right during the night. The brief thought that her demons weren't simply lurking in the shadows somewhere and waiting to strike at her when she least expected entered her mind, but she wrote that particular thought off with the old adage that only time will tell. The counter-thought of not counting one's chickens before they hatched rather dampened Gemma's drunken euphoria, and she sullenly wished that if there were no such things as fucking trains, then her sister wouldn't have had that fucking job and be all messed up in her head!
"I'm going to bed," she heard Jeanie say, followed by, "I'm in work early in the morning and reading all this stuff is quite tiring. It'll be nice to have a full night's sleep for a change."
You're not wrong, there, thought Gemma, deciding to remain downstairs for a while and brood a bit more. "Wha-, they've go' you working on saturdays as WELL?" she slurred. "You're working forra bunch of fuck'n slave drivers, sis!" Realising then that she herself had work in the morning came as a bitter blow to her, as all she wanted right now was to sleep all through tomorrow!
"It's not like that at all, Gemma," her sister said to her, "but there's so much I've got to learn if I want to be really useful and productive for Sir Topham."
'S fair 'nough, s'pose, thought Gemma, and feeling the need to confirm her current belief, mumbled, "We're still frens, yeah, sis?"
"We never weren't, Gemma," her sister replied, "We'll ALWAYS be friends, but if I may say so, you look like you ought to go to bed as well, and have a wash before you get into bed as your face is wrecked, Gemma! G'night." she finished, before leaving to go upstairs to her room.
Left alone in the now silent lounge, Gemma stared idly at the TV as the national weather map predicted an overall dry day but cloudy with outbreaks of sun in western regions and cool winds, and got up, swaying as she went into the kitchen to splash some cold water on her face to wake herself up.
Back in the lounge, she noticed the local news headlines that followed the weather showing footage of the Sodor trains running again, as well as what she took to be interviews with various passengers and businesses that used the freight services, not all of which appeared to be complimentary to the railway company judging by the faces of the people talking to the reporter, but she wouldn't know that as, too late to make any difference, as the item came to an end and she realised she still had the mute on!
Well, she thought, pointing the remote at the TV as she sat back down and hitting the channel button by mistake, if she manages to sleep all night, then she MUST be getting better, so what do I tell Divya tomorrow? Maybe I cansay it was a false alarm and that she's sorted herself out. Still, it'll be nice to see Divya again. I wonder if she's still as skinny as she was back in school?
Dropping the remote to the floor and picking up her bottle of wine, she groaned on seeing only a dribble of the sweet liquid remained. I'll definitely sleep all night after THIS, I will, she thought, and raised the bottle to her lips to let the last few drop fall onto her tongue. Better remember to set my alarm for tomorrow, she thought as she lowered the bottle to the floor, carelessly letting it fall onto its side. Bugg'r it, s'nothing left innit to come out, anyway!
Shutting her eyes for a few moments against the bright overhead light and to try and clear her fuzzy head, at the same time feeling the sudden onset of swirling giddiness that drinking a lot usually did to her, she forced herself to think of those innocent, carefree days back in school when she didn't have a worry in the world. God, where have the years all gone? she asked herself as images and scenes of her school friends and the things they'd got up to began to play in her mind.
She saw herself hanging about with them on the school fields, in various classrooms, in the assembly hall after school whenever they had a disco there, gossiping in the dining hall, Jeanie's first day there and holding her hand as they walked along the long driveway to the main entrance, introducing her to her friends, trying to spot her in the front rows of the assembly hall that morning but not seeing her because she was so short compared to the other children, running down the corridors and looking in all the classrooms for the door that led to the girls' toilet... Damn, I KNOW it's here somewhere, but the rooms keeps changing! I KNOW where the toilet is but I can't find the fucking thing! THIS room isn't it, it's the bloody music room! Everything's all mixed up and I don't know where-
FUCK!Panic filling her, Gemma opened her eyes and groaned loudly at the imminent need to pee she could feel, immediately clenching her lower muscles just in time to avoid an accident. "Nnng!" she moaned as an painful twinge ran through her bladder, and she realised that the dream of wanting to pee must have been her sub-conscious trying to tell her.
She frowned at the TV screen where, by the look of it, a pretty red-haired woman on one of the late-night shopping programmes was silently imploring her to pick up her phone right now and place an order for the really exquisite diamond necklace she was holding in front the camera. Must've fallen asleep.Shit, what time is it?
Squinting, she tried to focus her gaze on her watch, but in her sleep and booze-addled state, couldn't make out whether it was twenty-past three or quarter-past four. "Whatever!" she grumbled as she felt around her for the remote to switch the TV off, finally finding it down between the cushions she'd been laying across, then, as she idly stared at the blank screen again, remembering the days when TV screens used to have a white dot in their centre after being switched off, she remembered she needed to pee.
Carefully, she got up from the sofa and hobbled towards the hallway, switched off the light and slowly made her way upstairs to the bathroom, but as she got onto the landing, she heard what she thought sounded like sobbing coming from her sister's room. Is she crying? Aw, fuck, not again, not now! I'm hanging for a piss and I'm tired enough as it is!
She went over and stood for a moment by the closed door, fretting over what to do as she listened to her sister crying. She was right! She knew Jeanie wasn't back to normal again, and she felt like crying herself over her indecision as to what was the right thing to do, but the decision was made for her by her screaming bladder. Fuck it! I need to pee NOW! and, hunched over, she went to the bathroom to relieve herself.
Now back outside Jeanie's room and listening to the quiet weeping, Gemma found herself wondering whether she even wanted to go in and comfort her sister. She knew she ought to, but she worried about what was might happen in the morning when they both woke up in the same bed, as it would then be obvious to Jeanie that something had happened during the night and then she'd have to tell her all about hearing her crying again, and Gemma knew they'd end up arguing again, and baring in mind what happened in the kitchen earlier that evening, she didn't want that to happen! She'd probably bite my head off! Finally making her decision, she stepped away from the door and went into her own room, closing the door behind her to dampen down the pitiful sound of her sister crying in her sleep.
You bitch, Gemma, she told herself as she undressed, struggling to keep her balance as she took her trousers off. How can you do this to her? Suppose she has another nightmare? But maybe then she'll learn the hard way she made the wrong choice, she counter-thought, and maybe then she WILL want to finish there!
Trying hard to keep her pain for her sister separate from her thoughts, Gemma climbed into bed, curled up as small as she could and tried hard to go to sleep and not dwell on the quiet weeping in the other room, but it was hard trying to convince herself that what she was doing was the right thing. She also thought of Jeanie's recent promise to go and see a doctor, but she hadn't mentioned making an appointment or anything, and Gemma's only consolation was her own meeting tomorrow with one and the desperate hope that her former schoolfriend would be willing to help her.
ooOOoo