CHAPTER 36

On the days the fallow I tried to call Karma and talk to her several times without success. She was avoiding me like a plague and I had no idea what I did wrong. I texted her asking what was the problem but she never answered me. She was seating away from me in all the classes we had together and she was also building a friendship with my brother… not Liam. My new half-brother Nick, Mr. Peterson son. I was at the library during hours after school first hoping that someday she would come talk to me but she never did and after a few days past I lost it and just started doing the work I was supposed to be doing. First I was lost and trying hard to talk to her, then I got pissed and almost ruined my chance of recovery my 'good points' in the school because I wanted to do a scene to call her attention but Shane didn't let me do it. After the third week I was a mess and had lost hope that she would come back specially after I heard some girls saying that she and Nick were making out in the school gate. I was sure that it was over between us and I to the rest of the world I was fine with it but inside I was broke.

One day when I was about to finish posting the last book on the school digital archive the door was opened. In beginning I always looked up hoping that was I had lost hope that it was her so by now I didn't even looked up anymore.

"I'm almost finishing. You can clean in two minutes."

"Hi."

At the sound of her voice I jumped out of the chair and looked at her. I couldn't remember the last time we were so close. I had so much to talk to her, to ask her but I just stood there in the most awkward silence off my life.

"Hi." I said finally. "I didn't thought that you were going to speak with me again."

"I'm sorry for the last days." She said but her face didn't showed she was sorry or anything at all. She was standing in front of me but I felt that she wasn't the same girl I fell in love with. She was an empty version of her. "I needed to…"

"Is this you trying to break up with me officially?" I said cutting her off. "Because if it is… Don't bother I got the message a few days ago."

"Amy…" She started and she looked tired for a second. "Just… I'm sorry."

"For what exactly?" I said feeling myself get anger. "For not talking to me, for pretend I don't exist or for giving up on us?"

"Amy…"

"What Karma?" I asked and silence fell between us again. "You made me promise once that I wasn't going to give up on us and I didn't but there is a limit for everything and I reached mine."

"You just don't get it." She said her voice and for the first time her neutrality mask feel a little and I could see what she was trying to hide.

"How can I? I tried to speak with you for days… weeks Karma but you didn't gave me a chance instead you were getting closer with my brother. I guess he really is the answer to all your problems isn't him?"

"What are you talking about?" She asked walking towards me. "Leave Nick out of this."

"Nick, huh?" I asked with a sarcastic smile in my face. "Already defending him. Wow he must be real important to you then."

"Amy, stop." Karma yelled and I froze surprise by her tone. "Just stop."

We look at each other and I felt my body shiver again but I ignored. I was mad at her… Like really mad.

"I gave you my heart." I said in a low voice and then I smiled. "I'm so stupid. For the second time I gave myself to someone that didn't care."

"Are you comparing me to Reagan?" Karma said walking closer to me. "I'm nothing like her."

"Maybe not." I said looking into her eyes. She was so close that I could easily reach out to her and kiss her but I didn't. "But you and she have that in common. You both broke my heart."

"Not by choice." Karma said and her voice was not more than a whisper.

"Everything is a choice, Karms." I said and pick it up my purse and stated walk out the room when her voice stopped me.

"She was dying, Amy." She said and I turned back to look at her. Seeing for the first time her walls down and the vulnerability she was hiding before. "She was dying in front of me and the last thing she told me was that she wanted me dead."

"And I would have understand you if you told me that when I first asked you what was wrong." I said closing the door so nobody could hear us. "But you just ignored me and pretend I was nothing to you."

"I didn't knew how to be close to you anymore." She confessed. "Because every single time I saw you I…" She trailed off. "I love you, Amy. That didn't change. But I didn't knew how to be close to you and not touch you so I didn't."

"I told you before Karma." I said in a tired voice. "I don't need the 'break up' speech. I already understood that it is over between us."

"Is it?" She asked. "Is it really?"

"You can't be closer to me without feeling guilty about your mother." I said. "And I can't forgive the fact that you cheated on me with my brother. So I think that there is not much that we can do now."

"I didn't cheated you with nick." She said in a desperate voice. "We are just friends."

"Friends don't kiss friends Karma." I said and was surprise by how neutral my voice sounded.

"I didn't kiss him." She said and I smiled.

"So you it wasn't you two kissing in the school gate three days ago?" I asked and she flinched. "You know what? I don't even want to know. Just go be with him. I don't care."

"Really?" Karma said and I could tell by her tone that she was the one getting angry. "Sounds like you do."

"It bothers me, yes." I said opening the door again. "But I won't be here to see it so you can do whatever you want to do with him."

"What that supposed to mean?" She said surprised. "You won't be here?"

"My mother and I talked and after she had a long talk with Mr. Peterson they agreed that I might have a chance in finish this school year in a school in London. It will be easy for me to get in Oxford if I do that."

"London?" She said her face pale. "So you are running away?"

"I don't have anything to be running away from remember?"

"That is so you." Karma said almost yelling. "Run when things get difficult."

"Don't act like I didn't fight for you." I yelled back closing the door again and walking towards her. "Because I did. For weeks. You were the one who give up on us so don't blame me for that. I called you, texted you, went to your home were you close the door in my face and…"

She kissed me and I forgot every word I was saying. It wasn't like any other kiss that we shared. This one was full of pain and felt like a gulp in the water after weeks in the dessert. I kissed her back for a few second with the same urge she was kissing me but then it was like an alert in my head screaming 'stop, stop, stop, stop'.

"Stop." I said pulling away. "You can't do that anymore."

"Amy…"

"No, Karma." I said walking away from her. "You can't mess with my head like that and then start to ignore me again. I won't let you do it."

"Amy, I need to tell you..."

I walked away from the library before she could finish. My heart was beating so fast I couldn't control the rhythm if I tried.

"Damn it" I said to myself. "Damn her and her power to do that to me."

"Amy?" Someone called and I turned to see Mr. Ashcroft standing in front of me. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." I said looking at the hazel eyes that remind me so much of the girl I love. "Oh, I forgot giving you the key to the library back."

"You already finished?" He asked surprise. "With the books and the digital archive?"

"Yes." I said looking for the key and remembering it still was in the door of the library. "Oh, I forgot in the door. Karma is there I'm sure she will pick it up and give back to you."

"So you two talked?" He asked and I was surprise when he sounded relieved. "Please tell me that you fix things? Karma has being so sad lately that breaks my heart every time I see her. It is worst then when Zen died."

"What?" I asked surprised. "Karma was sad?"

"Yes." He said. "I know my daughter she try to be strong and pretend when there is something hurting her but I can see when she is sad. Even Maura noticed. About that I'm sorry for my wife behavior with you last mouth."

"It's okay." I said looking down. "How is she?"

"Now? She is recovering better but we had some bad days. She was always in the hospital, the doctors didn't knew why she was so unstable so they recommend us to avoid subjects that could make her have a crises." He said with a similar tired tone to the one Karma just used. "Karma was feeling guilty because of what happened before her first crises but now we are the one worried about her."

"I'm sure she is going to be fine." I said with a smile. "My brother seems like a good guy for her."

"So you two…" He trailed off and I looked away. "Oh, I see."

"Did my mother told you about my chance in London?" I asked changing the subjected. "I have you to thank for that. If you didn't have gave me that chance to improve…"

"I'm sorry, Amy." He interrupted. "Have you gave this London school a second thought?"

"No." I said. "My mother and Mr. Peterson told me it was a great school and…"

"I mean about your relationship with Karma." He said.

"There is no relationship anymore." I said in a low voice. "She decided that a few weeks ago now I'm just trying to move on."

"Oh, I see." He repeated. "And she knows? About London?"

"Yeah." I answered.

"Amy, your gay boy toy is waiting for you." Liam said looking annoyed. "HE called me because your phone isn't working."

"Oh I must have let in the library with the key." I said. "I have to go Mr. Ashcroft can you please get my phone and I will pick up tomorrow before class start."

"Sure." He said and I walked away trying hard not to think about Karma but no matter what she is always in my mind.

Back in the school, KARMA POV.

I felt that my body was paralyzed after Amy left so I didn't even saw when my father opened the door and walked inside until he talked to me.

"Hey pumpkin." He said and I rushed to brush off the tears in my face but by now there is no way to cover them up. "I came to see how you was doing."

"Fine." I said automatically since this was my answer to everything now. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." He said and I looked away without answer him. "So I'm going to ask again… Are you okay?"

For the first time in my life I broke it down. Tears were running down my face and I couldn't control them anymore.

"I mess up." I said crying. "Big time. I lost her…for real now."

"What happened?" My father asked hugging me. "I'm sure you will find a way to fix things."

"I tried." I said my voice breaking. "I came here to tell her that I tried to stay away and couldn't. That I was unhappy and sorry for avoid her this mouth but she didn't let me. She was so mad and hurt…" I trailed off. "I lost the best thing that ever happened to me because I was too afraid to fight for her."

"Look at me pumpkin." He said holding my chin and forcing me to look at him. "I knew since the first time I saw you guys that you two had something strong and special and that is why I didn't try to break you guys apart. I knew that it was only going to make you unhappy and I told your mother that but…"

"She is sick daddy." I said trying to justify my actions to him. "You heard what the doctor said she can't be bother and if Amy and I got together again she could die off a heart attack or something."

"Look Karma I always admired the way that you put everyone above you but sweetheart I never saw you so sad and unhappy before. Not even when Zen died." He said. "The same way I never saw you happier then when you were with Amy."

"I love her." I confessed. "And now I lost her. She is going to London, daddy."

"I know." He said. "Her mother just called me with the news and Amy confirmed to me."

"London is her dream." I said in a low voice. "Oxford is her dream. It always has been."

"She doesn't look much happy then you are." My father said. "She is trying to cover up but… I'm good at reading people and she is just like you."

"She is pissed off too. With reason." I said looking at the opened door. "I ignored her for weeks and on top of that she thinks I kissed Nick which I didn't. I could and he tried several times but every time he got closer to me I pulled away because he is not the one I want. Amy is."

"So why don't you fight for her?" My father said and I gave him an incredulous look.

"Are you forgetting about mom?"

"I love your mother… I really do but pumpkin I love you more and I'm sure that sooner or later she will accept the fact that you are free to love and be loved by anyone you choose. Sounds to me that this person is Amy… So I ask you now do you love her enough to fight for her?"

"No." I said. "I love her even more. I love her so much that I won't give up until I can prove that to her."

A New chapter for you guys and I think by now you might know that this story is coming to it's end so THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT AND DON'T WORRY I MIGHT HAVE ANOTHER IDEA FOR KARMY MAYBE something to do with the new song by THE KATIE STEVENS.

GOOD THING THAT FAKING IT WON A SEASON 3 SO HAPPY FOR IT….

'Faking It' season 2 returns Monday, August 31 at 9:30/8:30c.

SO far away….