When I arrive back in Todd's hospital room, I am surprised to see that he is still sleeping. Starr has nodded off as well on the small couch that is in the room. I don't want to wake either of them so I sit in the chair and set my phone to vibrate, just in case the Falconeri's call. I put my head back on the head rest and close my eyes. A few minutes later I hear Todd's voice. I look at him, he is still asleep but mumbling. He begins to toss his head from side to side. Not the nightmares again. I know not to wake him. I catch every other word that he is saying. Johnny...granddaughter...she can't know...killed...Starr. It doesn't make sense of course. Is he dreaming about the fight with Johnny? Is he dreaming of his grand baby Hope and how she died? Is he dreaming about Starr losing her? But what did he mean when he said she can't know? I walk to his bedside quietly. He is sweating and still tossing. He has stopped mumbling. Then he is still, and sleeping soundly again. I turn to head back to the chair and see Starr sitting up with a frightened look on her face. I heard everything dad said, what is he talking about? What's wrong with him? I go to her, ssshhh, I take her by the hand and out of Todd's room. Dee why is my dad saying all those weird things? The look on her face is desperate. Starr it could be any number of things. You know he has been having nightmares for a long while now due to his PTSD. It may also be the medications he is on. The stress from what happened between he and Johnny, our fight, his suicide attempt, and of course almost being killed in Shady Brook. Starr shuts her eyes, so many things, she says. Why can't my dad just have one day of happiness, why? I hug her, he will Starr. One day he will be happy.
Starr decides to go back the penthouse. I don't want her to drive because she is so upset about her father. She has never witnessed his nightmares, she has only heard about them. He truly frightened his daughter. I have Todd's driver pick her up and take her home. I go back into his room. He is still sleeping. I sit back down and just watch him. Why was this man dealt this card in life? To be miserable from day one. Was Todd right, is there a Lord Family curse? He was given two sets of parents. Victor Lord Sr. and Irene Manning, his biological parents. And his adoptive parents, Peter Manning, Irene's cousin and his wife Bitsy. Victor Sr. was a horrible man, he had done the most wicked things, but the most horrible was his sexual abuse of his daughter Viki, Todd's beloved big sister. And then Irene, Viki's best friend in college, who had an affair with Victor Sr. and bearing three of his children. Tina and twins Victor Jr. and Thomas. She kept Tina, for a while anyway. She kept Victor Jr. because she felt he was weak and needed her, but she gave Thomas away. And many years later this awful woman would steal away eight precious years of his life. Peter Manning was another horrible human being and treated Thomas like dirt even as a child. All Thomas wanted was to please his father and have his love and approval, but he could never seem to attain it. Peter abused this little boy and this child became the angry and self loathing person we see today. The only time he felt loved was with his adoptive mother Bitsy. She adored him and he her. But one day Bitsy decided she could no longer stand her husband's abuse of her and left. She left Thomas with this monster. This little boy begged and pleaded for her to take him with her, but no, she left him, causing even more anger. All these things turning him into the terror and bully he became. He became Todd. I have always suspected that something more besides the physical abuse happened between Todd and Peter, but even though Todd had told me this whole story, he would almost want to say what happened. Something would always make him stop short. Maybe one day he will be able to trust me enough to tell me. If it is what I am thinking, I would completely understand and not think any less of him having gone through it myself with my own monster of a father. The words Starr and I spoke earlier are echoing in my mind. Why can't my dad have just have one day of happiness? I get up and walk to Todd's bedside. He said before that I made him happy. I guess for Todd it comes in bits and pieces. I look down upon his sleeping peaceful face, we have to get past what happened between us. It will not be easy, but I want to make him truly happy. I lean over and kiss his beautiful warm lips, his eyes open. You heard what the nurse said, he says softly, no more making out. I smile down at him, does my kiss make you happy? You know it does, he answers. Then damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead, I say, as I plant another deep kiss on him. His arms wrap around me, the machine is beeping like crazy but we don't care, we are happy, even if it is only for a little while.
Commissioner Devane has visited Todd. She asked more questions. They have watched the surveillance tape from Shady Brook and see the would be murderer. He is wearing a hood and his face cannot be seen. How did this person get in without being seen, where was security? Todd is much more at ease with Ms. Devane. I can tell that she does not care too much for my husband, but at least she isn't as blatant about it as John McBain is. Todd is actually somewhat fascinated by her having always dealt with the likes of Police Commissioner Bo Buchanan back in Llanview. It's obvious Todd prefers the female version and he loves her accent. The day has arrived. Dr. Webber says that Todd can be released from General Hospital. He will have to take it easy and cannot return to work at The Sun just yet. He will be taking his medications, for his heart, his anxiety and depression. Both Dr.'s Webber and Campbell have modified the doses so that they will not be a danger when taken together and that they will also not counteract one another. Todd will not be going back to Shady Brook. He can finally come home. At the moment he is arguing with Epiphany because he doesn't want to be taken out by wheelchair. Get in this chair right now Mr. Manning, she says. Who's gonna make me, he says seriously. She walks toward him and gets right up in his face, I am. She grabs him by his ear and pulls him to the chair. He looks at me just standing there watching and laughing. A little help here, he says. Hey sorry, I say, you're on your own. She plops Todd down in the chair. Todd rubs his ear and frowns, you big bully. Epiphany begins to wheel him out, just then Nurse Webber appears at the door, Mr. Manning before you leave I have something for you. What is it, he asks. She hands him a little gift bag. It's a year's supply of lip balm, for all that kissing you and Mrs. Manning will no doubt be doing. He looks at Epiphany and then at me, at least someone around here is nice. Nurse Webber smiles at me, good luck Mrs. Manning, he is all yours now. As we are leaving, I actually hear one of the other nurses exclaim, yay Mr. Manning is leaving, and I hear cheering. Epiphany is laughing, you hear that Mr. Manning, it's your fan club, NOT. Ha ha, very funny, Todd says. Todd's driver has pulled the limo to the door. Todd wanted his limo because he wanted a roomy ride home. As Todd stands to get in, he turns to Epiphany, I know I gave you a hard time, but it's only because I like you. Well I hate to see how you treat the people you don't like, she says. Todd smiles. She smiles back at him, I must admit you kept me on my toes. You know you're going to miss me, says Todd. I don't know about that, says Epiphany. Yeah you will, he says with a sly smile, because you're in love with me, remember? Thanks for reminding me, she says, as she rolls her eyes, now get in that fancy car and go home and I don't want to see you in this hospital again. Todd gets in the limo. Thank you so much Epiphany, I say as I give her a hug. She hugs me back. Good luck Mrs. Manning and take care of that husband of yours and please try and keep him out of trouble. Easier said than done, I say, but I will try my damndest.
On the ride home Todd is looking out of the window like a fascinated little child. Wow, he says, I never thought I would miss just riding and seeing everything. It's been so long. He is holding my hand. I guess we take things for granted, I say. Things and people, he replies. He looks at me, I am so lucky to have you in my life, I would be totally lost if it weren't for you. You have me and Starr, I say. Starr goes without saying, he says, I couldn't bare it if she were to ever turn her back on me. I mean she has before, but somehow we work it out and she ends up back in my corner. But I am afraid that this time... Todd stops in midsentence. You're afraid that this time what, I ask. Todd shakes his head, nothing, I'm just tired, I don't even know what I'm saying. He turns his head and looks back out of the window. Todd was about to say something, but what? My thoughts go back to his nightmare in the hospital, he mentioned Starr's name and said she can't know. Is he talking about me or his daughter? If only I could see into his head and unleash all his secrets. I am sure I would be frightened. Finally we arrive home. One of Todd's security team greets him as he opens Todd's door, hello Mr. Manning, it's good to have you back. Thank you, says Todd. He steps out of the limo, he takes a deep breath and looks up at his building, Manning Enterprises, he says, it's so good to see those giant words. He looks at me and smiles as I take his hand. We enter through our private entrance and take the elevator up to the penthouse.
I open the door, after you, as I motion to Todd. Age before beauty, I say. He looks at me, and here I always thought I was the beauty, he says as he walks in. Surprise, he hears Starr exclaim. The living room is filled with colored balloons. There is a banner saying Welcome Home. He looks around with a big smile on his face. Starr goes to him and hugs him tightly. His arms wrap around her, he shuts his eyes as he rests his chin on top of her head. I am so glad you're home, says Starr. I am so glad to be home, says Todd. I stand back and watch them. I wish I could have had that with my daughter, she is out there somewhere, maybe hugging her mother. If I hadn't of been so young and foolish, she could be here hugging me.
We spend the rest of the day just talking and actually laughing. Evening has fallen. Starr says she is going out for a while. As I am in the kitchen cleaning up a bit, I hear pop, pop, pop. I go into the living room and see Todd popping his welcome home balloons with a pin. What are you doing, I ask. I'm helping you clean up, he says, as he continues to pop. Well now I'll have to pick up all that balloon mess off the floor, I say. Oh, says Todd, I hadn't thought of that. Obviously not, just leave them up, I love the way they look and all the bright colors. Okay, he says as he yawns, well, I'm pretty tired, I guess we should head upstairs. Is this it, I think to myself, what to do. Todd walks to the stairs and gazes up at them. I never realized how many steps there are, I hope I can make it up without losing my breath. Todd why don't you sleep down here in the maid's bedroom? Todd had the builders put in a maid's room with the intention of having a one, but I couldn't be comfortable with that. I could handle things around the penthouse myself so far. No, he says, I have to try, if I don't do it now, I never will. I turn the lights off and we start up the stairs. I take his hand and we ascend slowly. He stops half way and takes a deep breath. Then we start again. Finally we reach the top. Todd stops, looks at me and smiles, see, piece of cake. We walk to our bedroom door, Todd walks in. I just stand in the doorway. I had only been in that bedroom once after that horrible night and that was to move my clothes and personal belongings into another bedroom. Starr had cleaned the room and made it ready for her father's return. Todd turns and looks at me confused, what are you doing out there? I hesitate a bit, then I answer. I'm sorry Todd, I just can't go in there. What, he says, with surprise. I begin to nod my head, I can't Todd and I take a step back. He walks towards me, Dee, please it's over, I'm sorry, I... I put my hand up and stop him in midsentence, please Todd, don't apologize anymore. You have to understand, I need time, I just need time. Todd has a look of confusion on his face as he speaks, but in the hospital, you kissed me, you kissed me a lot, and you said you loved me. I do Todd, I do love you and I did kiss you. Every kiss I gave you was real and from the heart, but I just can't go any further than a kiss right now, if you love me, you have to understand. I promise I won't try anything, says Todd. It's not that, I say, I just can't. You're still afraid of me, he says in a broken voice. No, I say, but my mind sometimes keeps rewinding to that night and I can't make it stop, I want to be with you Todd, but please let me work through this. Alright, he says, take all the time you need. Can I at least walk you to your bedroom? I give him a small smile, sure. Outside of my bedroom door, I turn to Todd. Thank you, I say as I touch his scarred cheek. He closes his eyes and leans his face into my palm. I love you Dee, he says. I love you too, I say, and I kiss him very lightly on the lips, he lets out a little sigh. Goodnight Todd. I close the door. I lean my forehead against the door and run my hands over it as if touching him. Little do I know that Todd is on the other side doing the exact same thing.