My heart; my life felt so empty I needed someone. I needed a relief from the pain and loneliness I had been feeling. Regardless of the consequences I took Gemma's hand and led her out to the street.
It had begun to snow again. Large white flakes raced through the air as if they were trying to see who could cover the ground the fastest. A bitter wind blew them off course and into our eyes as I tried to flag down a carriage.
Eventually one stopped for us.
"The Connaught," I said to the driver as we practically leapt into the back.
Gemma was shaking from cold and I put my arm around her, pulling her into my side. We had much to say to each other, much to catch up on, but for the moment we were silent. We both understood that our physical needs were more pressing.
I was overcome with desire even before we reached the hotel. I had been without the company of a woman for some time now and it had been becoming quite maddening.
I buried my hand in her hair and pulled, tilting her head roughly upward before I covered her lips with mine. Gemma did not protest. She was completely pliable under my forceful attentions.
Turning her more towards me I let my hand move over her legs. I heard her gasp as my fingers moved toward her inner thigh. I would not limit myself to only one part of her however. My hand moved up to her breasts, pushing hard against the thick fabric of her dress.
"If we do not reach the hotel soon," I broke away from her lips and growled into her ear, "I may take you in this carriage."
It was well that we did reach the hotel not long after this because I was completely serious.
I took Gemma by the arm and practically dragged her to my room.
The moment the door was closed I threw her against it and undid her dress. I saw her hand reach up for my mask and stopped her, wrenching her arm away rather violently. After what I had just been through with Bella I did not want to have to think about my face. Gemma must have understood; she did not try to take it off again.
I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to my bed. I lay her down and then quickly removed the suit I had once been so bent on getting.
It was like it never was before. Suddenly I was in control; after feeling as though life was pushing me along according to its rules I was finally setting my own course.
An amazing feeling of peacefulness crashed over me after Gemma and I made love. The angry, nagging voices in my head and the echoing screams of the people at the opera house were quiet. During the wedding my emotions had been at a fever pitch as I battled to keep my anger from rising. Seeing Gemma had pushed me over the edge. I believed that I understood the trite phrase 'mad with desire' even better now.
Yet after she and I had our tryst in the sheets I felt this madness slip away. I felt relaxed, as though a pattern of unfair and cruel events had just been set right.
"It is good to see you again," I said to her.
She laughed, "Likewise," Her eyes flicked up to mine, "Erik…I know you are, sensitive, about your face but I did not think you would mind; I have seen it before after all. Why did you get so angry?"
I stared at her.
"You do not know?"
"Know what?"
"What happened at the opera?"
She looked at me in confusion, "I just arrived in London today. I planned my return so that I could go to Nadir's wedding. I haven't spoken to anyone but you. What happened?"
I sighed, "Forgive me Gemma but after you left I began seeing Bella Sigmund," She looked extremely hurt at this, "It is over between us now though. Actually there was never anything between us; she was using me to get revenge. She pulled my mask off at the Paris Opera in front of everyone."
I looked at Gemma; it was well for Bella Sigmund that so many miles separated the two of them that night. I had seen that look before; the look of a tiger ready to attack. Gemma's eyes were hard; she wanted blood.
"That idiotic whore," She growled, "How dare she! I will not stand for this," It seemed as though Gemma might leave that moment and seek out Bella.
"Yes I have heard."
"What?"
"Since this happened I have heard from you sister and some of your acquaintances that when you returned you would absolutely ruin Bella Sigmund."
"I will."
"I thought you would; no one can tarnish the name of Gemma Chevalier can they?"
She stared at me, "Erik, I could care less about my reputation; it is what she did to you that bothers me!"
For the fist time I really looked at Gemma. I took in her flowing blond hair, her perfect body and her flashing eyes. She looked very angry but also…concerned, caring.
"She cannot hurt you that way," Gemma continued, "I would not mind if she came after me but doing that to you was…unfair. You deserve much better treatment than that!"
I shook my head, "The damage is done Gemma; you cannot make people forget what my face looks like. What good would it do to? Everyone already sees me as a monster; they are already calling me out in the street."
"Who is?" Gemma said sharply. I did not respond. "Oh Erik! I cannot stand to see you hurt like this!"
"Why not? I am used to it by now."
"You should not have to be," Gemma spoke and her voice was strong. She no longer seemed to me so young or so manipulative as when I had been with her over the summer. Was is possible to grow up that much in four months?
"Erik," She placed her hand over my heart, "I love you; wait do not say anything yet," She inched even closer to me, "I was miserable every moment I was in New York and I missed you so much it actually hurt! There was constant pain in my stomach and my heart that could not be cured; thoughts of you only made it worse because I realized how far I was from you. I have been a mess since the moment you and I parted."
"Gemma,"
"Wait," She shook her head, "I am not done yet; that is why I cannot stand the thought of you hurt in any way. You are the most incredible man…I have ever met. You do not deserve to be cast as a monster and robbed of your happiness! Please Erik, I have done so few things that are worth while but loving you, helping you, makes me feel as though I may be worth something."
"Why do you love me Gemma?" I still was not sure I could trust her.
"Because you make me weak Erik," Her eyes suddenly became over bright, "You make me tremble all over and long for your touch; and it is not just that. The things you say to me, your wit, your voice! It is all like air to me. I do not know why people fall in love but if I need you so much I am in pain without you; is that not love?"
I wanted this; I wanted this love. Every night I had gone to bed bitterly wishing someone could love me as much as I could love them. Now here was Gemma, the woman who had occupied my thoughts and my heart since the moment I had met her, telling me her heart was mine.
I did not know if it could be true. I had been wrong so many times that I did not trust my judgment. Yet I had been the one who had wanted this; to be in love. I realized that if I truly was to attain this desire I had to give out some of that trust I had promised to deny everyone after Bella.
Taking Gemma's hand I brought it to my mask.
"Are you sure?" I asked her.
"Yes," She took it off.
The air hit my face and I felt a stab of pain as the memories of the opera house came back to me. Still if I wanted to love Gemma I had to trust her. She had already shown that she trusted me.
She did not scream, she did not turn away. Gemma moved her hand behind my head and she brought her lips to mine. I held her tightly, moving her so that she was under me. We were both ready to make love again.
Suddenly a thought shot into my mind like a bullet though my brain.
"Gemma; we did not use anything! You could…"
"I do not care," She whispered, "I need you; if anything should happen…you would marry me wouldn't you?"
I stared at her, my mind numb with shock, "Of course."
I would have slept much longer the next morning if I had not been woken up by a knock on the door.
Gemma stirred as well, "Who could that be?" She muttered.
"I haven't the foggiest idea," I sighed. I waited a moment to see if whoever it was would just go away but they rapped on the door persistently.
I sighed and left the warm bed for the chill air of the room. I threw the robe over my shoulders and found the tie at the end of the bed. Of course, I also replaced the mask over my face.
"Yes?" I asked grumpily as I opened the door.
You could imagine my utter shock when I saw a police officer at the door.
"Good morning sir," He said, and by his tone I got the distinct impression that he did not in fact care if it was a good morning or not. "I am looking for Gemma Chevalier and I was told she was seen here."
"I am Gemma Chevalier," She came to the door wrapped in a bed sheet; something only Gemma would do, "What is this regarding?"
Gemma spoke perfect English to the man. Her words however still carried a French accent; somehow hearing that was even more pleasing than her usual speak. My own English was decent if not a bit rusty. Still, I knew I would be able to understand what was being said. What on earth this man could want was beyond me however.
"Miss Chevalier you fiancé is looking for you," The officer said.
It was well that I was holding on to the door because I could have fallen over in shock.
"My what!" To my further bewilderment Gemma seemed just as surprised at this news as I was. "This is preposterous! I do not have a fiancé! Is this some kind of trick?"
"No Miss," the officer now became just as confused as Gemma and I. "I was contacted by Thomas Ford; he told me you were his fiancé and that you had gone missing."
"Well that is not true is it?" Gemma said angrily, "I know Thomas Ford but I am certainly not engaged to him; I am also not missing." Gemma looked from me to the officer and then addressed him, "I am here of my own volition; go back to Thomas and tell him that if he ever does anything like this again I will put him in a bad way," With this she slammed the door in the police man's face.
I stepped back and took in Gemma's scowling expression. I was not sure I believed it.
"Oh I cannot believe him! The nerve of that man!" She readjusted the blanket around her body as she walked across the room and back to the bed.
"Your fiancé?" I asked dryly.
Gemma turned to me and her anger morphed into concern, "Erik; you do not actually believe that I am engaged do you?"
"I never know what to believe with you."
"Erik honestly!" She threw her hands up in the air in frustration and her sheet dropped. She took a moment to cover herself again before she spoke. "I am not engaged! Thomas Ford is a man I met in New York. He pursued me but we never courted; unlike you and Bella." She added this last bit about Bella with obvious jealousy.
"So why did this Thomas Ford send the police after you?"
"He and I were on the same ship coming to London. He did not want to accept the fact that I was not interested in him. He has been doing all sorts of wild things to try to win me but Erik," She came toward me and wrapped her arms around my neck, her blanket falling from her body once again as she did so.
"Erik I am only interested in you,"
I kissed her. The feel of her lips and the weight of her body in my arms was so fulfilling I wondered how I had gone without it all these months. Still, I was unsure. Gemma seemed to sense this.
"Do you want to go see him and ask him yourself?" Gemma asked.
"See who?"
"Thomas Ford!"
"Maybe I would," The more I thought about it the more I believe that is was the only way.
"Fine!" Gemma backed away from me, "Honestly Erik you are such a fool sometimes! I really do not know why I love you…"
It was not the ideal way to start the morning. Ideally Gemma and I would have stayed in bed all day. Instead we were headed out to the cold streets to see a man named Thomas Ford, who was probably a pompous ass.
Gemma and I arrived at a very sizable, very pristine town house not long after leaving the apartment. She did not speak to me on the way there or as we walked up to the front door.
The door was opened by a butler even before we reached it.
"Are you Miss Chevalier?" The man asked Gemma. She did not respond however and simply walked past him and entered. I followed silently.
"Tom!" Gemma yelled once she was inside. A man appeared out of a room on our left.
He was a bit different than I had expected. He was older than the men who had escorted Gemma's friends to the ball in Deauville. Still he was not an old man; certainly younger than I was.
"Gemma! I wondered if I would see you this morning," He was an American. His air was self assured but not over confident. His wide grin which appeared when he set his eyes on Gemma was charismatic; he appeared to be the kind of man woman would throw themselves at. I hated him already.
"Tom this is the man I am in love with," She wasted no time in getting to the business at hand, "Erik Bonheur," She motioned to me, "Now I want you to tell him that you and I are not engaged!"
Thomas Ford looked from her to me, "Pleased to meet you Erik," He shook my hand and greeted me in the most natural way; as though we had been friend for years. He in no way reacted to Gemma's anger.
"Well Erik you are lucky if she says she loves you! I can understand your concern over her; if she was mine I wouldn't trust any man around her." He smiled in an easy, charming sort of way. If he continued in this manner I would have to punch him in the face.
"I am afraid that we are not engaged however," Thomas Ford went on, his eyes landing on Gemma now, "That was just a little trick I thought I would play on you my dear."
"Tom I swear to God and all that is holy if you do not leave me alone—" Gemma began angrily.
"I know, I know; but you cannot blame a man for trying can you?" Thomas Ford cut her off, "You are a beautiful woman and anyone who would give you up without a fight is mad. Now, on to more pleasant things! Can I get you two something to eat?"
"No," Gemma said sharply, "We are leaving," She spun on her heel and we made for the door.
"Hope to see you both soon!" Ford called after us.
"Well?" Gemma asked me huffily when we were outside, "Are you satisfied now?"
"I suppose I owe you and apology," I sighed, "But Gemma you have to understand, I am not very good at trusting people."
"I hope that in time you can learn to trust me Erik," She said heavily, "If you don't we shall never be happy."
I knew she was right but still it seemed that every time I let someone into my life it turned out the worse for me.
"Erik," Gemma stopped walking and took my hands, moving in front of me and looking me in the eyes, "I did not want to start off this way. I was so excited to see you and now we are fighting! I shall forgive you for not trusting me and blame all this on the problems that come with being in love. Would it be asking too much to start over again?"
"Not at all," It was exactly what I wanted, "Gemma!" I said, acting as though I had just spotted her, "What are you doing here?"
"I just arrived from New York," She played along with our little game perfectly.
"Well you look absolutely beautiful."
"Thank you; you are looking well yourself."
"I have missed you dreadfully."
"As have I."
"Would you care to come and see my hotel room? It is quite nice."
"Mine is closer."
Gemma was staying at a place called The Savoy. It was an impressive hotel to be sure; much more so than the one I had been staying at.
Gemma strutted confidently through the marble and gold gilded lobby, hardly batting an eye at all of the opulence around her.
"Good morning Miss Chevalier," The concierge eagerly greeted her as she passed by.
"Good morning Richard," Gemma responded with these polite words and a small smile but did not stop to chat. Clearly this was just another part of her regular routine.
A few flights up she unlocked the door to a magnificent suite. As I entered I took in the layout of the place. It would have served just fine as an apartment. There was a separate sitting room, dinning room, and bedroom.
"Well you have certainly put me to shame," I said.
"How so?" Gemma asked as she took off her coat and gloves, laying them casually on a chair.
"This room is much bigger than mine,"
She laughed, "I have been a good costumer to them over the years. They like it when I stay here; I am not even paying for this room. The manager offered it to me for as long as I needed."
"How kind of him."
"I thought so," Gemma walked to her bedroom, "Take your jacket off and stay awhile won't you?"
I realized I was still wearing my coat and I threw it on the same chair as Gemma had. Following her to her bedroom I saw her struggling to untie her dress.
"Allow me," I came up behind her and helped her off with the thing.
"Thank you," She smiled at me before going to her chest of drawers and rummaging through her clothes.
I however was more interested in her bed. I sat on the edge.
"This is soft," I said, moving now so that I was laying on it.
Gemma put on a slip and turned to face me. She laughed, "I am happy to see that you are making yourself comfortable."
"There is more than enough room for two," I said, patting the bed.
She laughed again, "Very subtle aren't you?" Still she came and lay next to me on the bed.
I wrapped my arms around her, bringing her close to me and softly kissing her lips. After we broke apart Gemma nestled her head on my shoulder. I noted that she was shaking a bit.
"Are you alright darling?"
"Just cold."
"Would you like to get under the covers?"
"That is a fine idea my love,"
I took off my shoes and we both settled in under her warm comforter. Now we were back to the proper way of spending a chill winter morning.
"Erik I want to talk to you,"
"About?"
"What are you planning on doing now that the wedding is over?"
I sighed, "Originally I had thought I would stay in Paris for awhile but now I am not so sure."
"You were going to stay in Paris? But I thought you hated the city."
"When I thought I was seeing Bella I had wanted to stay in Paris."
"And now?"
"Now I do not know."
"Well…aren't you with me now?" Gemma asked, and she raised her head from its place on my shoulder so she could look me in the eye.
"I had not even thought that far," I laughed at my own nearsightedness, "Yes, I suppose that if we are in love then it would be best if we were in the same city."
"Erik…do you love me?"
I stared at her.
"It's just, you didn't say you did. I would just like to hear the words that is all," She looked hopefully at me.
"Forgive me Gemma; I do love you. Even when I was with Bella I thought of you. That is the truth I swear."
Gemma smiled, "I believe you darling," She kissed me, "Erik I was planning on staying in London for a few weeks. I have two shows to do here. Then I was going back to Paris. If you want to leave London sooner though we can; we could even go back to Deauville if you want."
I realized that Gemma had thought about the reason we had ended our relationship the first time. I had told her I needed to settle down, that I hated travel and parties and such. It sounded as though she had made a choice however; she would be willing to give up London and Paris for me.
I decided that I should be willing to give up things for her as well.
"No no; now that I have come all the way to London I do not want to leave so quickly. As for Deauville; it is rather depressing this time of year. I think I would prefer Paris."
"Really Erik?" Gemma's eyes lit up.
"Absolutely,"
She brought her lips to mine again for a long, passionate kiss. I felt her take off my mask as our kiss grew more heated and I held her tighter. Holding her I thought that maybe I had been wrong before. Maybe Gemma was the love of my life; the only woman who would ever accept and care for me. It was a wild idea to be sure. In no way did it seem possible that this young, rich, socialite who was best known for leaving men would be the one for me. Still I supposed stranger things had happened.
My life had not exactly been conventional so far; runaway, gypsy, magician, ghost…perhaps lover of a famous socialite was just the next, maybe final, stage. If that was true, than she would be worth running all over Paris and London for.
As Gemma kissed me, I felt her hands against my chest, artfully undoing the buttons on my shirt. I let my fingers trail over her back and then down to her legs; inching the slip she was wearing upward. I did not want to go too quickly; I wanted to enjoy her.
Gemma seemed to be of the same mind as me. The night before we had been desperate, our needs too great to bother overmuch with the art of seduction. Now however I allowed myself to touch her, tease her, kiss her until I brought her to that point at which she needed more.
After we made love I am not ashamed to say that I fell fast asleep. I could not have been more content or relaxed and I quickly drifted off into a peaceful slumber.
When I woke up I noticed that the room was considerably darker. I must have slept for some time. Lately I had been robbed of so much sleep that I had forgotten how good it felt to be refreshed.
My next thoughts were of Gemma. In a split second I wondered where she was; she was younger than I and I doubted she had needed such a nap.
However I found, to my delight, that she was still in my arms. She was awake and her green eye and blue eye were staring up at me.
"Did you sleep well?" She asked me softly, patting my chest.
"I did," I yawned, "Did you sleep at all?"
"Not very much."
"Then you just…lay here?" I asked confused, "Did I trap you?" I wondered if somehow my body had weighed on her so that she could not move.
She laughed, "Erik you do not need to trap me. I would happily spend hours just like this." She smiled genuinely at me before she completely broke down in laughter.
"What are you finding so entertaining?" I asked suspiciously.
"Me! 'I could spend hours just like this!' Honestly could I be more cliché?"
"So you are saying that could not spend hours just like this?" I asked.
"No," She nestled her head against my shoulder a bit, "I simply thought it sounded rather silly that is all,"
"I did not think it sounded silly."
"Oh," Gemma smiled, "Well then I take back my outburst of laughter. Come on! We cannot sleep all day!" Gemma shook me playfully and made to get up. I tightened my arm around her.
"Why bother? Why not just stay right here?"
"Erik you cannot possibly be that tired can you?"
"Not at all," I kissed her neck.
Gemma laughed, "Enough Erik! Come I am starving!" She tried to wriggle away from me.
"So am I," I said, kissing her ear.
She laughed harder, "You are positively impossible Erik! I am serious! We shall have time enough later for that."
With a heavy sigh I let her go. She threw off the comforter and a rush of cold air hit us.
"I am going to order lunch," Gemma bound energetically out of the bed and stretched. I watched her move, with no desire to do so myself. She dressed herself quickly and then turned to me.
"Get up!" She yanked the comforter away from me and laughed as she sauntered into the next room.
With supreme reluctance I left the comfort of the bed and re dressed.
"Erik! Come and look at this!" I heard Gemma call me from the sitting room.
I went to her. She was standing at the window, peering out at the streets below. I stood next to her. It had begun to snow even harder since we had isolated ourselves in the bedroom. Thousands of white flakes dashed though the air. The streets and building and street lamps visible from the window were covered in a glowing white blanket.
"It looks beautiful doesn't it?" Gemma whispered. I felt her take my arm and wrap it around her.
It occurred to me then just how lonely a sight like this might seem if Gemma had not returned to me. Yet she was there; her very presence was peaceful and claming. I kissed the top of her head and I could see her happy smile reflected in the window.
Gemma rung for a butler who came promptly to take the lunch order; we had inspected a menu the hotel provided and made our selections. So this was the life of the haves I thought as the butler left with our order.
We were enjoying our meal a bit later in Gemma's dinning room when the butler returned to the door.
"Miss Chevalier," He addressed Gemma when she let him in, "You have a visitor; a Mr. Kahn."
Gemma looked to me with surprise, "Of course; let him up." She told him.
"Nadir," I shook my head, "I wonder what he is doing here?"
"He has an excuse to be in bed all day," Gemma shared in my surprise that he was here.
"I do not think one really needs an excuse to be in bed all day,"
Gemma laughed, "I expected you to say that."
Nadir entered a few moments later, his new bride at his side.
"Nadir! Victoria! What in the world are the two of you doing here?" I asked him as he entered.
Nadir and Victoria took a moment to take in the grandness of the room before Nadir answered me.
"Well…when you weren't at your room I asked the concierge if he had seen you. He told me you left with a woman he believed to be Gemma Chevalier. He told me that when Miss Chevalier was in town she usually stayed here."
"I am becoming too easy to find," Gemma shook her head, "I should start wearing a mask; then no one would recognize me."
"It is a difficult look to carry off my dear," I told her, "I am not sure you could handle it."
Gemma laughed heartily.
"Well at least you have gotten your sense of humor back," Nadir looked genuinely relieved, "Lately you have been absolutely miserable."
"So you noticed?" I asked, shifting a bit awkwardly, "Nadir I apologize if I spoiled anything for you."
"No, not at all Erik," He looked from me to Gemma, "I just wanted to…make sure that you were alright."
"I see; you do not trust me with him do you?" Gemma raised her eyebrows, "You think I am not good for him? Well I can not be any worse than Bella Sigmund can I?"
"Gemma that reminds me," I suddenly remembered, "Bella Sigmund said she saw an announcement for the wedding of Nadir Kahn and Victoria Ward."
"Well I do know every publisher in Paris don't I? I would assume that I could get them to run a wedding announcement."
"I told Nadir that it had been your doing!" Victoria Kahn now spoke for the first time. She had a very excited look in her eye; I imagined she saw Gemma was a bit of a celebrity. "Thank you so much."
Gemma smiled kindly, and I noted not pretentiously, at Victoria. "It was no trouble at all, they were happy to run it. Now, the question remains, what on earth possessed the two of you to come all the way over here in such nasty weather?" Gemma deftly turned the conversation from whither or not Nadir approved of her to weather itself.
"To be brutally honest," Nadir said heavily, "We only had the room through today; which would have been perfect you see, but our train back to Dover was canceled because of all of this snow."
"Oh well," Gemma motioned for Nadir and Victoria to come and sit down, "You will just have to stay here tonight! Not in this room of course but there are plenty open. Have you eaten? We can order something for you if you would like."
"Nadir, I was supposed to leave my room today as well! What have they done with all of my things?" I suddenly remembered this. I had thought about it when we had left in the morning but I had imagined we would have returned to my hotel. I had not thought we would be hemmed in by snow a considerable way across town.
"They preserved your room like a shrine," Nadir smirked, "They know you are connected to Gemma Chevalier. They are afraid she will have them all killed or something if they meddle with any of your belongings."
"Are you serious Nadir?"
"I would not joke about a matter like this."
From his tone I was still incapable to deduce if he was speaking in jest or not, "You are impossible!"
"Wait; I thought Nadir and Victoria were supposed to be the married couple," Gemma smiled sardonically as she rang for the butler to come around again.
It only took a matter of seconds for the butler to return, humbly accept Gemma's request for another room, and then return once more to present a key to Nadir. He was also so kind as to put in an order for two more plates; Nadir and Victoria had not yet eaten that day. Gemma also requested that someone be sent to my hotel to bring my things back to me.
The whole thing turned out to be rather nice; to be sure it was as close to a dinner party as I ever wanted to get. As I had not spoken much to the newlyweds on the day of the ceremony I was glad to have a chance to do so now. Indeed, Nadir and Victoria were a charming couple to watch, and infinitely more bearable now that Gemma was by my side again. It is easier to stand love when one is in love themselves.
"I was very sorry I missed your wedding," Gemma was saying.
"Not at all!" Victoria positively glowed; a combination of supreme joy at being a new bride and having the chance to speak to an idol of hers no doubt. "I am honored that you even remembered it!"
Gemma smiled. I noted that Gemma had many smiles; condescending, completely fake, mildly board, mildly entertained, and then there was the one she used when she wanted people to genuinely like her. Her charm was something she could bring on as easily as one would light a candle. Whenever she had need for it she simply lit up the room. I had to admire that quality in her.
"I did plan on coming to London several days before your wedding so that I could actually attend but as my luck would have it the boat was slowed considerably due to weather."
"Gemma I never even asked you," I felt quite rotten for this, "How was your trip over?"
Gemma smiled at me. I tried for a moment to figure out which of her many smiles she granted me but I found, to my delight, that it was quite unlike any other expression she gave.
"Thank you for asking Erik," She put her hand on my knee, "It was awful!" She laughed, "There were terrible winds nearly every day and the sky was always the most depressing shade of gray. I thought I should never make it to London!"
"My poor dear," I draped my arm around her shoulders.
"Well Katharine was worse off than I; she was seasick practically the whole voyage."
"Katharine Rocha? She came back with you?" I asked, remembering the dark blond haired woman with the talent for telling a story I had met in Deauville.
"Yes; we always travel together. Anything else would be silly really; we are always going to the same places."
"Are they here at this hotel as well?" I asked.
"Yes; Katharine, Daria, Lily and her….my her husband now! They married while we were in New York; they are all here."
"Oh my," Victoria fiddled with her hands excitedly; "I never thought I would be staying at the same place as women like you and you friends! You know they were so kind to me in Deauville."
"Well of course they were," Gemma said, "Why wouldn't they be?" I knew it was because Gemma had told them to be sociable.
Victoria blushed, "I…I am not important as you girls are."
Gemma laughed, "We aren't important! We are models and socialites for Christ's sake not members of parliament! You know they are throwing a little party tonight in one of the rooms downstairs; not a very large guest list but there should be a nice turn out. You are welcome to go if you like."
I had not heard of this and suddenly I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I caught Nadir looking at me, judging my reaction to this news. When I thought of spending my evening in the company of Gemma's friends, not to mention other London socialites, I felt a squeamish to say the least.
"Will you be there?" Victoria asked Gemma.
"No," She said without hesitation, "I will not be there. But that hardly matter; there is going to be music and dancing and drinks; if you would like to attend I shall have your names added to the list."
Victoria's eyes lit up, "It sounds wonderful! Nadir darling don't you think it would be wonderful? Can we go?"
Nadir laughed, "If that is what you would like."
Gemma smiled, "Excellent; I shall let Daria know you will be coming."
"May I ask why you are not going to attend?" Victoria innocently asked.
Without missing a beat Gemma answered, "I find I am just not in the mood. I've been so busy lately; I need rest more than dance I think."
I stared at her. I knew she was lying; she was young and energetic. She could have danced for hours on no sleep at all. Gemma was making excuses for my benefit. She had known without even asking that I would not want to attend the party. Without asking, she had refused on my behalf and on her own.
A few hours later Nadir and Victoria left to go and see their own room. We found ourselves standing in front of the window again.
"They are very sweet together," Gemma said once they were gone, "They are so happy aren't they?" She took my hands in hers.
"They are," I kissed her forehead, "Thank you."
"For?"
"For being so kind to them for one, and for…the party." I wanted her to know I understood what she had done for me.
"Oh Erik I do not need to be thanked for that," She smiled at me, "I have been to these things thousands of times! I need another social event like I need a hole in my head. What I have not had a lot of lately is you."
I pulled her closer to me, "Gemma I love you, but will it eventually become a problem for you? Will you want to leave these parties behind you?"
"Well," She put her arms around me, drawing her hands up and down my back in the most pleasing way, "There will be times when I have to go to these things and I was hoping that you would come with me once and awhile."
"Once and awhile?"
I considered. I would never come to love social events or master them the way that Gemma did. Perhaps is she had met me years ago when I was young and resilient she might have made a real change in me. Now, after suffering so many humiliations, some merely pin pricks to my pride but others stab wounds to me, it seemed an impossible task to transform me.
It was not a matter of not wanting change and it was not for lack of trying that I found my feelings toward the public were the same. I was haunted by too many memories and as hard as I tried to forget my past and look to the future, I could not seem to give up the ghost.
All of this I thought of as I looked at Gemma, waiting for a response to her question. Once and awhile, that was all this woman who loved me was asking for. "I suppose I could do that."
Gemma laughed, "Good; you know I had another reason for wanting to stay in tonight."
"Oh really?" I raised my eyebrows.
"Yes; a very selfish reason I might add." She smiled wickedly at me.
"And what might that be?"
"Come with me and I will show you." Gemma took my hand and pulled me toward the bedroom.
"Aren't you the girl who did not want to spend all day in bed?" I teased her.
"We were up for awhile."
"I see; so when I want to stay in bed we have to get up but when you want to go to bed it is alright?"
"Yes,"
I laughed, "That is not really fair is it?"
I had stopped Gemma on her way to the bedroom. She now pulled her arm away from me and regarded me with the most beguiling eyes.
"I'm sorry darling; won't you let me make it up to you?" She spoke in a very seductive manner, tossing her hair back and exposing her neck.
"Well…well I don't know." I did not want her to be able to push me around too easily. I knew I needed to have some control. However sometimes I wondered if she didn't understand my needs even better than I did.
"I see," Gemma drew close to me, "I can't blame you; I have behaved very badly." She kissed the shell of my ear and then stepped back. I watched her hands as they moved to the ties on her dress and undid them. "I'll be in the room," Gemma said, letting the dress drop and pool around her feet she stepped out of in and walked, that entrancing walk that had made her famous, to the bedroom door.
"Do try to think of some way of forgiving me darling," She smiled and shut the door.
I only stood in the other room for a minute before I joined her.
Much later we both found ourselves quite tired and we drifted off to sleep.
I was deep in a lovely dream that involved a piano, Gemma, and an ink pen when I heard someone knocking on the door. Confound these English! Had they no sense? Did they make it their personal mission to seek me out and wake me from sleep by knocking on my door?
It could not be morning already could it? I grumped this question to myself as I rose from the bed. The clock in the room read four in the morning. Whoever it was better have a gun, I thought as I tied a robe around myself, because otherwise I was going to kill this intruder. As promised, my things had been brought to the hotel. They had arrived in the late afternoon and interrupted another lovely thing that had involved a chair, Gemma, and a feather from one of her hats.
"Gemma! Are you awake!" Once I got to the door I realized that it was the voice of a woman calling to Gemma. My plans for revenge by death quickly evaporated; I did not harm women.
"Gemma!" The voice called again.
I pulled open the door and faced a very unpleasant menagerie. There were two people waiting at my door. A very agitated looking Daria Werbowy and a very panicked looking Katharine Rocha. I could not have been more surprised to see them but they had no shocked reaction ready for me.
"Erik is Gemma awake?" Katharine looked pleadingly at me.
"Why would she be; it is four in the morning," I said, more a result of reaction than of trying to seem witty.
Daria laughed and Katharine shook her head
"What in hell is going on?" Gemma had come out from our room now, "What are you two doing here?"
"Katharine has heard a ghost," Daria said dryly as Gemma motioned for her two friends to enter. I suddenly found myself in an unpleasant position. Even though I knew these girls I felt uncomfortable around the. Thank God I had put on my mask!
"A ghost?" Gemma raised her eyebrows.
"Yes," Katharine said, pacing about the room as the other two girls sat down. I stood off at a bit of a distance, feeling awkward. "And I did not just hear the ghost; I saw it to."
"You had so many glasses of champagne tonight you would not know if you saw a ghost or your own reflection!" Daria cried out in frustration.
"That is not true! I did see a ghost, and I heard it! Besides, you had just as much champagne as I did."
"Yes but I am not claming to have seen apparitions."
Gemma stood, "I have to ring Lily; she cannot miss all this excitement." After she did this she turned back to Katharine, "Now about this ghost; where did you see it?"
"In my room," She said quickly, "It was in my bedroom."
"Are you sure it was a ghost?" Daria smirked.
"Yes! What kind of a girl do you take me for?" Katharine then looked apologetically from me to Gemma, "Sorry; I meant nothing by it."
"Oh it is alright," Gemma said nonchalantly, "Erik doesn't mind do you?"
Did I mind? Did I mind that no matter what was done to separate her from it Gemma would always have a life quite outside of me, a life that I was not sure I could take part in but that would never leave us be? It was as though Gemma lived in two dimensions at once and I, like a lost spirit waiting for the boat to cross the river Styx, could only be on one side.
"No," I said, because at the time it was the right thing to say.
"So this ghost; did it have legs?" Gemma asked.
Katharine considered, "Well…no; it was just a floating torso I think, I did not have much time to look at it before I ran mind you."
"Maybe you did not have much time to look at it because it was not there," Daria quipped.
"It was there! I heard something in my room and when I opened the door he was there!"
"So it was a male ghost," Gemma smiled, "Was he attractive?"
Katharine shook her head, "Whatever does that matter?"
"Well," Gemma smiled, "If you are being haunted in your bedroom by an attractive male ghost I really do not see the problem."
"He is only a torso Gemma remember," Daria joined in teasing her friend.
"So? That is still enough; besides he may be a funny ghost as well. That makes of for the lack of leg in the male ghost body part swap."
"Oh you two!" Katharine glared at them. There was a knock at the door and we were joined by Lily and Derek Westwood; newly married. Just what I wanted; more people in our room at four in the morning. I cursed them for coming; Gemma and I wanted to be left alone! I knew that was not it however; I wanted to be left alone.
"What is going on?" Lily asked, and I noted that her blond hair looked distinctly ruffled, as did her new husband. Perhaps they had been disturbed doing what I had been dreaming of doing…only without the piano and pen I assumed.
"Katharine saw a ghost," Gemma said casually, going to the kitchenette and putting a pot on for tea.
"Oh," Lily said, as though this were common, "Did it have legs?"
"It was a he; and why does everyone what to know about the legs?" Katharine asked her less than sympathetic friends.
"I have never seen a ghost," Lily yawned, "I wanted to know what one looks like. One reads so many descriptions of them! Who are you to believe?"
"So you believe me? You think I saw a ghost?" Katharine asked desperately.
Lily looked pensive for a moment, "No."
"Erik believes me, don't you Erik?" Katharine looked at me.
The last thing I wanted was to get involved with this conversation however now I had no choice.
"Well…I never believed in ghosts myself but I suppose one must leave room for the unexplained. It is true though, in my minds eye I have always seen a ghost as not having legs."
Gemma laughed and came to stand next to me. She linked her arm through mine and ever so subtly guided me to her sofa.
"Could it touch anything?" Lily asked as she and her husband also sat down.
"What do you mean?" Katharine asked, clearly distraught that no one believed her.
"I mean, let us say he wanted to pick up a brush," Lily began.
"Why would he want to pick up a brush?" Gemma interrupted.
"I believe the real question would be what would a male ghost want with a hair brush." I muttered this but everyone heard. To my great relief they laughed.
"The man speaks the truth," Derek Westwood seconded my opinion, "If I was a male ghost, I certainly would not go after a hair brush."
"Oh," His wife raised her eyebrows and stared at him, "Pray tell, what would you go after?"
"Do you really want me to say in front of all these people?" Clearly the honeymoon was not yet over.
"You are an awful man Derek Westwood," Lily shook her head and turned back to Katharine, "Allow me to begin again. Let us say this man ghost is in your bedroom and wants a look at your undergarments," This drew considerably laughter from everyone except Katharine and myself; I had not been sure if it was appropriate. "Could he open a drawer?"
"Oh how should I know!" Katharine cried out in frustration.
"Well you are our resident ghost expert." Daria teased.
"All of you are being very rude," Katharine frowned, "I saw something in my room and if it was a ghost or if it was just wind and light I was really frightened!"
"Alright alright," Daria motioned for her friend to sit next to her, "We know; look we are all awake and keeping you company! It was a very funny thing that is all, to hear you say you saw a ghost."
"You would not be so jovial if you had seen it," Katharine grumbled.
"Well there is an idea!" Gemma cried suddenly, "We should all go to your room Katharine and see for ourselves if there is anything there."
"No! I am not going back in there!" Katharine shook her head.
"Oh come Katharine! It is the only way!" Gemma looked around at her other friends gathered in her sitting room, "You all agree don't you?"
"It is four in the morning," Daria said dryly, "Agreeing and disagreeing is the same to me right now,"
"That is the spirit!" Gemma smiled, getting up from the sofa.
"I thought the spirit was in Katharine's bedroom." Lily took another jab at her friend.
"Really? I thought Lily was the one with the spirit in her bedroom…or should I just say Lily is the one with the spirited bedroom?" Katharine raised her eyebrows, looking from Lily to her husband.
"Girls, it is too early for innuendos and bad puns," Daria said, standing and pulling Katharine up with her.
A jolly bunch we all marched to Katharine's room. She opened the door and we stepped inside. I had to admit that the room did seem a bit eerie; so dark and silent. Gemma latched onto my arm with an iron grip.
We walked to the bedroom door. I listened, we all listened, for any tell tale sound. I could not be sure, but I did think that I heard something. There was a creaking or a rustling. I was sure it was nothing more than the boards in the hotel itself.
"Erik open the door," Gemma whispered, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Katharine grab Daria's arm.
"Me? Why?"
"Because you are the man here."
"What about me!" Derek laughed and Lily hushed him.
"Together?" Derek looked at me and I nodded. We both reached for the door at the same moment and pulled it open. There it was; moonlight reflecting off of a mirror and another shadow being cast by dress on a chair. However the women behind us did not react that way. I heard screams and turned to see the four friends running from the room.
"They are ridiculous aren't they?" Derek laughed, "It is only the moon!" He called after them.
I watched the four women cling to each other, now beginning to laugh at their own actions. I suddenly realized that I was the one being ridiculous. Theses women were not something I needed to feel frightened or threatened by.
Gemma motioned to me and I smiled, going over to her and wrapping my arms around her.
"I cannot believe we got so scared!" Gemma laughed, speaking to me and her friends at the same time.
In the dark hotel room I saw these woman, and Derek Westwood, in a whole new light. They were not above me nor were they bed people. They were normal, if not somewhat silly, friends. I did not need to dread their company as though they were some malicious spirits. What was more, I did not have to worry about loosing Gemma, the one good relationship I had ever had, to a world of glamour and parties because I could enter that world.
Right there in the ghost free hotel room, I finally started to feel less haunted.
For obvious reasons, we woke late the next day. I realized that this was a routine I could settle in to; rise late in the day, have a breakfast cart delivered, and be at liberty to kiss Gemma at any time I wished. I felt as though it was summer all over again and she was living with me. I wondered how long we could go on like this, living together quite improperly.
The snow had stopped falling at last and the sky was a brilliant shade of white.I felt no desire to go outside; it looked bitterly cold.
"Well my darling," I looked at Gemma over a plate of pastry, "What shall we do today?"
She smiled at me, "I have some letters to write but after that I am all yours and you can do what you like."
I raised my eyebrows, "Who are you writing to? Surely it can wait?"
Gemma laughed at me, "No, it is better I send them sooner than later."
"So tell me; who are the lucky recipients of these urgent letters?" I was only half interested in the answer to this question really. What I cared more about was the muffin and toast I was now buttering.
"Georgette, possibly Gisele, and some…other contacts in Paris," She added the last bit with an unmistakable air of mystery. However I was less interested in this little secret than in my breakfast.
"Thank Georgette for me will you?" Was all I said, "She was most kind to me in Paris after…it happened."
"I shall; she has been invaluable to me as well," Gemma laughed, "You know she was my spy? I had her tell me absolutely everything she could about your movements. You have no idea how devastated I was when I heard you were matched with Bella Sigmund of all people!"
I looked up at her. She looked positively incensed; a lioness that's territory had been stepped on.
"It was a mistake you know," I told her, "A complete and utter mistake and I do regret it, but Gemma are you angry with me over this?" I asked her suspiciously. As wicked as Bella had turned out to be I did not think Gemma had a right to be angry with me over the affair.
"Oh of course not!" She said quickly, "You did nothing wrong; had you two gone on to fall in love I would have been most happy that you were happy."
"Liar," I laughed at her.
She nodded, "I know; but I would have pretended. In any case I was heartbroken when I found out you were seeing someone else. I…I could not believe you had stopped loving me when I still loved you so much." She added the last bit in a very quiet voice.
"I do not think I ever stopped loving you Gemma," I sighed, "I just thought you and I could never be, that was all."
Gemma looked up at me, "We can be though, can't we?"
"I believe we can."
After breakfast Gemma sat down at her writing desk in the sitting room and began her letters. I settled down in a chair with the paper; it had been delivered with breakfast. It was a charming domestic scene; the two of us sitting comfortably at our tasks. Though we were silent, I knew that we were both aware of the other.
A knock came at the door and I, thinking it was the butler with some message or other, answered it. To my surprise, it was Derek Westwood.
"Good, just the person I wanted to see," Westwood spoke in a whisper, "Is Gemma in?"
I nodded, confused and suspicious of this man.
"Do you think you can get away for a little while?"
"Whatever for?"
"Oh! Did you already get her something for Christmas then?"
Good lord I had completely forgotten! Christmas was days away and of course I had nothing for her. Not that she could blame me; I had not known we would be spending the holidays together. Still I wanted to get something for her, to show her I was thinking of her.
I would have much preferred waiting until the night and then sneaking out to some store and doing as I had done while living under the opera; break in, take what I wanted, and leave the money for it on the counter. That was clearly out of the question however and I did not see any other way to do this than to go with Westwood.
"Of course," I said quickly, "Let me get my things."
"Erik…where are you going?" Gemma asked me as she saw me pick up my coat.
"Out," I saw Westwood's need now for secrecy; our lovers were not to know what we were up to…or for that matter that we had waited so long to pick up something for them.
She raised her eyebrows, "Out where?"
I shook my head and kissed her temple, "Just out; do not fret I will return."
"Erik you are being so odd! Who was that at the door?" She regarded me with suspicious eyes.
"Goodbye!" I smiled at her, rushing out the door and then into the hall. Westwood was waiting for me at the head of the stair.
"I thought you wouldn't have purchased anything for her yet, seeing as how you two just reunited. I am no good at buying things for women so believe me I will be grateful for the second opinion." Westwood told me all of this as we walked down the stairs.
Derek Westwood was a tolerable enough man. He was exactly what I thought of when I thought of American's; blunt, uncompromising, but mostly jovial. Still that did not mean I would seek out his company. Yet I supposed I could become used to him; he could be a valuable comrade.
"I am not sure I will be much help," I admitted, "I haven't a clue as to what to get Gemma, let alone any other woman."
Westwood laughed, "No man has a clue about women; but together I think we stand a better chance."
We walked across the lobby and out onto the snow covered streets. I could not help but notice that as we went we were greeted and wished good day by every worker in the lobby; the front doors were even opened for us.
I caught my reflection in the mirrors lining the lobby walls as we left. It was only a quick glance but it was enough. I noticed how different I looked compared to Westwood. He was young, his appearance nothing less than respectable. I looked like someone he had hired to take out his business competition. I was taller than him and older, my long black coat and black gloves covering all of me while my wide brimmed hat obscured my face, not to mention the mask! I looked most dastardly.
"Maybe I will get her a bracelet or a necklace," Westwood was saying as we walked down the street.
I took in the hustle and bustle around me. There was a considerable amount of people about; no doubt readying themselves for the upcoming holiday. I was glad for my wide brimmed hat!
"Yes, I suppose one can never be wrong purchasing jewels for women," I said to him.
"Were you thinking you would get Gemma something like that?" He asked me.
"As I said before," I spoke a little more irritably than I really had a right to, "I have no idea what to get her. The problem is; she already has everything!"
Westwood laughed heartily, "You have a point there! Lily is the same way; she has more jewels than the Queen of England herself."
"It seems the same it true for dresses,"
"Oh absolutely!" Westwood agreed readily, "Lily insisted on bringing something like two hundred dresses to New York and you know what?"
"What?"
"She did not even wear ten of them! She got all new ones!"
"How ridiculous!" I shook my head.
"Gemma is the same way; all four of those women are!" Westwood seemed as though he had been waiting for someone to tell all this to for some time, "Do you know how many suits I have?"
"Less than two hundred?" I asked.
Westwood laughed, "Exactly! It is such a foolish waste of money! I just do not understand why they need so many clothes!"
"It is part of their charm and mystic," I said.
Westwood nodded and smiled, "I know; it hardly matters what Lily does I would still love her blindly."
"It is amazing really, how one woman can turn an otherwise reasonable man's head," I had been thinking this for years.
"Exactly!" Westwood's mind seemed to be on the same track as mine, "I seem to remember being a content bachelor before I met Lily," He laughed, "Now I have to worry about holidays, birthdays, anniversaries…the joys of marriage! Ah! Here we are!" Westwood pointed to a shop and we entered.
I looked around; they seemed to sell quite a few things; there was cases of jewels, hats, gloves; every gift a woman could want.
"How long did you and Lily court before you were engaged?" I asked Westwood a bit tentatively as I pretended to look at a gold broach but really was eyeing a large diamond ring.
"About a year," Westwood suddenly stared at me, dropping the stole he had picked up, "Are you thinking of proposing!"
I cursed him for seeing though my deception and quickly moved off from him and the ring, "No," I grumped.
"Erik I do think she would say yes."
I stared at him.
"I was there in New York remember!" He looked at me, "From the moment we arrived she was miserable! She went to all the shows of course but she hardly attended the parties! Lily told me that she spent most of her time in bed crying because of her heartbreak over you. Besides, you must marry her at some point; you cannot go on living as you are forever."
I was right; Westwood would be a valuable source of information.
"Crying? I cannot picture Gemma crying over me."
"Well Lily said she was, and I do not believe my wife was lying; she is an amazing gossip but an awful liar."
"Crying?" I said again, not able to hide the joy this sad news brought me. It was nice to know that I had been missed that much, "I am far to pleased by this," I muttered, knowing it was wrong to take pleasure in someone else's pain.
Westwood laughed, "Nonsense! You have somehow done what millions of men have tried to do but never succeeded! You made Gemma Chevalier fall in love with you!" Westwood laughed, "In a sick way you are almost a hero!"
I stared at him, raising my eyebrows, "I would be a poor choice for a hero."
"Maybe so," Westwood shrugged, "But all the same I do think she would marry you…say what do you think of this?" He held up a pair of gloves.
I shook my head, "Not quite good enough I believe."
Westwood put them back, "I thought as much…but what do you think of a locket, or perhaps perfume?" It became clear to me then that he was just going to go around the store and pick up everything and ask my opinion about it.
As for myself I really wanted something special for Gemma, something that would show her how much I cared for her. As for an engagement ring, I thought I would wait until we had been together a bit longer.
I had been considerably cheered by Westwood's account of Gemma's despair without me and this whole shopping business was not so bad.
We had been there for some time when Westwood turned to me, "What do you think? Shall we go to another shop or just buy something here?"
I was about to respond when the door to the shop opened. This was not a rare occurrence by any means. The place was bustling with men doing their last minute business.
Yet this was different because this person I recognized.
Westwood had turned when the door opened as well; a natural reaction to see who was entering.
"Oh damn," He muttered, "That is my cousin or some such relation on my mother's side. I had forgotten that he lived in England. I am sorry; I have not spoken to him in years; I'll have to say hello."
"Raoul! Good to see you again!" Westwood quickly put on a cheerful demeanor, "It has been some time has it not?"
"Yes," Raoul de Chagny answered his cousin with clear suspicion and trepidation, looking from Westwood to me.
"Are you living in London now?" Westwood asked him.
"No," Raoul said quickly and his eyes roamed over me. I knew what he was thinking; he did not want to give away his address right in front of me. Clearly he though I would follow him home. I wondered if he wouldn't lunge at me there in the store; or worse give me away to the authorities.
"Congratulations," Raoul said in a most stoic voice, unable to control his discomfort in my presence, "I understand you were recently married," He spoke to his cousin, "I am sorry we could not attend. My wife was pregnant you see."
I felt a shock run through me; Christine was pregnant! Maybe a mother by now; still that should be no surprise to me. She was married after all; of course they would start a family.
"I understand completely! A baby! That is wonderful news."
"Yes he was born in early September," Raoul still spoke in an almost dead sounding voice. I saw his eyes light suddenly with terror; no doubt he thought it unwise to speak of his child in front of me.
"A son on the first try! How lucky! What did you name him?"
"Charles,"
"A fine name," Westwood waited for Raoul to say more but he did not, "Well, we were just leaving, oh! This is Erik Bonheur by the way! Sorry," Westwood apologized for not introducing us sooner.
I extended my glove clad hand and wondered if Raoul would shake it. He stared at me as though I were offering him a poisonous snake.
At the last minute he took my hand and shook it once, quickly letting go and not meeting my eyes as he did so.
"Well perhaps I will see you again soon," Westwood said awkwardly, "But if not than have a merry Christmas; I hope you have more luck shopping for you wife than we have had."
Raoul nodded but did nothing more.
"Good day then," Westwood said and we left the shop. I was thankful for the cold fresh air outside as I had felt most hot during our little meeting with Raoul.
"God what an odd fellow," Westwood shook his head, "He gets stranger every time I see him!"
I nodded, "Yes, most odd," What else could I say? I still could not really believe that out of all the stores we could have gone to we had gone to the same was as Raoul de Chagny of all people! I would have liked very much for the whole painful and foolish affair with him and Christine to disappear into the shades of the past. I supposed that was too great a request to ask of fate.
My only hope was that de Chagny did not make trouble for me. I would leave him alone, he would see that soon enough. Would it be too terrible for him to reciprocate this action? I had a present and a future to worry about.
Westwood continued to tell me of his cousin.
"He ran off with some chorus girl and married her," Westwood explained as though I did not know the whole story and more, "A huge scandal in our family; mother could not believe it! Anyway since then no one has seen him. I thought they had moved out to the country but perhaps they came to London for winter."
"Perhaps,"
"I do hope we do not run in to him again; he is a rather dull fellow for one but there is also some bad blood between him and your Gemma."
"I have heard," I had not forgotten the story.
"I wonder if she even knows that he is in town."
"Indeed," I tried to quell the awful feeling that Gemma would discover my past from de Chagny somehow and that she would leave me.
We went to two more shops after that, both of us making purchases at both stores. For Gemma I bought a very beautiful gold necklace with one diamond hanging off of it. I wanted her to be able to wear it every day; it was not a ring but for the moment I thought that at least in my mind it would serve the same purpose. Gemma would wear the necklace I gave her because she belonged to me. It would show the world that she belonged to me. I did not know much of women's fashions, but I ventured a guess and purchased an ermine stole.
I also got her a copy of a book about architecture that I knew she would hate but that reminded me of how we had met. Westwood followed his instincts and purchased for his wife more exquisite jewelry she would not need.
We had been gone longer than I had anticipated and I was eager to get back to Gemma. Westwood and I hurried up the stairs and down the hall; I learned that he was staying just a few rooms down from us.
"Well I think we were most successful," Westwood said as I reached my door.
"Yes; we will please our woman and clutter their closets most sufficiently,"
Westwood laughed, "See you later then."
I nodded and opened my door. I planned on being quiet but I heard voices; a man and a woman's. It only took a moment for me to realize it was none other than that imbecile Thomas Ford!
"What in hell are you doing here?" I barged in on Ford's little meeting with Gemma. She was standing next to her writing desk, looking angry.
"Tom was just leaving." She said coldly, regarding Ford with a startlingly malicious glare.
"Now come Gemma; I am allowed to pay a visit am I not?" He spoke jovially, as though there was nothing wrong with this actions.
Before Gemma could answer him I did, "No," I stepped toward him, "No you cannot pay her a visit and do you know why?" I did not stop until I was face to face with him; my mask inches from his cheek, "You cannot see her because she belongs to me and I don't like you,"
"Now wait a minute," Ford stepped back just a bit but seemed determined, "She is not property! She cannot belong to someone—"
I cut him off, closing the small distance between us, "Yes she can, and she belongs to me and no one else."
"She is free to do as she pleases," Ford said and I lost my temper. I grabbed him by the collar and shook him violently. He was surprised and put up little resistance.
"She is not free! She belongs to me do you understand!" I pushed him back, sending him to land on the floor.
He jumped up angrily, "You can not treat me like this!"
"Yes I can!"
"Is there a problem here?" Westwood must have heard us yelling because he had entered the room now and was looking from Ford to me.
"No," I said angrily, "I was just showing this man to the door," I grabbed Ford by one arm and Westwood quickly took the other.
He struggled in our grasp, "Get off me!" However, he was overpowered. We marched him out of the door and down into the lobby. Dragging him to the door we tossed him out onto the street.
"Stay away from her or next time I will break your neck!" I warned him as he picked himself up off the ground.
I heard a click off to my right. For a moment I thought it might be someone cocking a handgun but then I realized it was another kind of shooter that could be just as deadly. A photographer was there; Gemma had told me that one or two of them sometimes loitered around the front of the hotel, hoping to see someone important.
After getting his shot the man quickly ran off. He was lost; I wondered if I would be charged for assaulting Ford but I doubted it; surely Gemma knew some way of avoiding that.
"You aren't her keeper," Ford spat at me, "She is not yours and she never will be."
"She is mine," I growled at him, "Gemma hates you."
"She did not hate me in New York!"
His words stung me and despite myself I wondered if they were true.
"Come on Tom," Westwood addressed him in a cold, albeit calm voice, "It would be best for all of us if you just went home. You do not want to cause a scene."
Ford glared at him and at me but he did move off. As I watched him go I saw something else in the distance; staring at me from across the street. Raoul de Chagny; he must have followed us at some point; trying to find me before I found him. I hoped he would be satisfied soon enough that I was not in London for him or for his family. As for confronting him, I had more pressing matters to deal with.
After bidding goodbye to Westwood I returned to the room. Gemma stood by the window, pacing back and forth. As I entered she looked up and her eyes met mine.
"Well?" I asked her. Her expression was unreadable and I wanted to know her thoughts. I wondered if she was angry with me for telling Ford that she belonged to me; Gemma did not like to be owned.
"Erik I am so sorry," I was struck with her apologetic tone, "I asked for your trust and I am not making it easy for you to give it to me." Gemma's eyes were very bright and when she took a breath I noticed her shake, "I am afraid…afraid that what I have done in the past will keep you from putting faith in me."
So I was not the only one who felt haunted by relationships past. I quickly shook my head and went to her, putting my hands on her shoulders, "You did not want him here did you?"
"Of course not!"
I suddenly had another thought, "He did not hurt you did he?" I looked over her quickly, searching for any sign of abuse. If he had touched one hair on her head…
"No…not…no," She put on a strong face but I saw through it. He had done something to scare her.
"Gemma what did he do?"
"Erik," She said nothing more and I resolved to inspect her myself. I ran my thumb across her cheek, tilting her head I looked down at her neck. Then I took her hands.
"What is this?" I found an angry red cut between her thumb and forefinger.
"Nothing," She muttered, "I was holding a letter and he…he ripped it out of my hand that is all."
"I see," I let go of her hand and took a deep breath, trying to compose my anger. How dare that man touch her! How dare he injure her! It was no mortal wound to be sure but when I thought of what might have come to pass had I come home any later I knew what was to be done.
"Gemma how do I get out of this hotel without being seen?"
"Erik," She shook her head, "Erik no,"
"Gemma answer me," I demanded, grabbing her shoulders once again.
"Erik stop!" She brought her arms upward and out, throwing off my grasp and stepping back. "Erik I can handle him on my own! I do not need you to do anything."
"Yes I know," I growled coldly and angrily to her, "You do not need me at all! You have a thousand men just waiting to take my place! Ford did get a hell of a laugh when I clamed you belonged to me and he was right to! You refuse to belong to anyone!"
"Oh stop it you old fool!" She spat back at me, "That is not what I meant and you know it! Do you have any idea how badly I wanted you to walk through that door the moment Ford entered? I did need you today, I needed you very much and I was so relieved to see you that I could have cried!"
She took my hands back in hers, "What I do not need is to have you go off angry and do something foolish like strangle Tom to death. This entire hotel knows you dragged him out of here and if he is found dead then you have a lovely motive."
I felt myself claming down. I wondered if half the reason I had become so angry with her in the first place was because I had been so wound from shopping all day and from Ford.
"Someone took a picture of me doing it," I said, "I suppose that would not support my innocence."
"No, it wouldn't," Gemma moved closer to me, "I could not stand it if you were arrested. I do belong to you Erik, and I need you. If you were gone…"
At last I was able to fold her in my arms, enjoying the sensation of her head resting on my chest.
"Erik," She said suddenly, "You said someone took your picture?"
"Yes," I sighed, "Do you think Ford will press charges?"
"No," Gemma laughed, "But tell me darling…did you learn the name of the man who took the picture?"
"No," I said hesitantly, "He ran off; but what does that matter?"
"Well what did he look like?" She asked eagerly.
"He…he was short, very short, a black beard, and he wore a green hat," I was shocked I remembered any of this.
"Ned! That is Ned!" Gemma said excitedly and she drew away from me, returning to her seat at her desk, "I know where he works! I am going to give them one hell of a story to print with that picture."
With this she was off, completely consumed by her task. I was not sure I wanted to know what kind of story she would invent. The very idea that a picture of me might run in a paper was terrifying, but I would have appeared unmasked in public again if it meant revenge on Thomas Ford.
Leaving Gemma to her writing, I collected my parcels from my shopping excursion earlier and took them to the bedroom, trying to think of a proper hiding place for them.
By the time I had stowed them all away Gemma was finished with whatever story she was concocting and she to came into the bedroom.
"I am worn through," She sighed, falling on the bed and stretching out on the soft comforter, "Quite a taxing day this has turned into."
I joined her on the bed and lay next to her. I wrapped an arm around her, bringing her snugly in to my body, my other hand caressing her back.
"Oh that feels nice," She sighed and I felt her muscles relaxing under my touch. She nestled a bit closer to me, "Where did you go today?"
"Nowhere."
She laughed, "I know you went somewhere so you might as well tell me."
"No; I prefer to be mysterious."
"Erik!"
"You may 'Erik' me all you like mademoiselle I shan't tell you a thing."
She made to hit my chest but I restrained her easily by holding her tighter.
"Now Gemma, be nice," I warned her.
"Or what?"
"Or I will not kiss you ever again," Faced with this ridiculous sounding threat she immediately stopped fighting against my grasp. "Wise choice," I told her, brining her to me and pressing my lips to hers.
"Erik can I tell you something?" Gemma asked when she drew away.
"Of course, you may tell me anything you like," I said, wondering what on earth she would relate to me. One just never knew with her.
"Erik today I…I was frightened. I did not want to tell you earlier because you were already so angry and I really do not think that Tom would have hurt me but…I was scared," She looked as though she had just greatly unburdened herself.
"Gemma that is perfectly natural," I held her very close, "I am not surprise you were frightened; but I do not want you to worry about it anymore. I would never let him touch you."
"What if you were not there?"
"When will I not be there?"
"What if I go out and you do not come with me,"
"I will always go with you then,"
"But Erik—"
I shook my head, "No; I will. However uncomfortable I feel in society I would be twice as worried if I knew you were unprotected."
Gemma smiled tenderly at me, "Thank you darling," She shook her head, "I did not before, but I hate him now. I will make him regret the day he ever laid eyes on me," She spoke quite darkly and I was reminded that Gemma could be almost frightening herself sometimes.
I understood her situation perfectly. Gemma's power lay in pulling strings, in ruining reputations and fortunes. Yet faced with Thomas Ford alone these things would be no ally to her. He could overpower her, though no doubt she would put up a good fight.
Still I had to wonder why Ford would be so foolish; he had to know that Gemma Chevalier would not tolerate ill treatment…or maybe he did not know her as well as I did.
"Gemma what was the story?"
"Hmm?" She seemed to have been thinking about something else and I wondered briefly what it was; she had been looking off into space for a few moments now.
"The story you are sending the paper; what is it?"
"Oh! It is only a little explanation of the situation detailing how the dark, enigmatic Erik Bonheur has taken the heart completely of the notoriously promiscuous Gemma Chevalier. How he is setting the new standard for men of his situation; to be less given to parties and fashion and tradition. It also will mention that other suitors will not be tolerated by Mr. Bonheur who will throw aside any foppish young man who tries to take away his lady."
"How romantic," I smiled, "But are you sure public humiliation is enough?"
"Oh of course not. I plan on doing much more,"
"Anything I can do?"
"Erik I told you before I am not going to let you strangle him!"
"You know Gemma I may do it without your permission," She gave me a warning look and I had a sudden thought. "Gemma how did you know I was planning on strangling him?"
"What?" She looked confused.
"You said you would not let me strangle him, but I had not told you how I was planning on killing that bastard."
"Erik I did not know what you were planning! I just used strangulation as an example! Besides, it is really the most efficient way to do it; you do not have to worry about muffling the sound of a gunshot or about getting blood on yourself."
I stared at her and she stared back at me. Sometimes I wondered if she didn't know too much about plotting and planning. Yet then she too must have wondered why I was so eager and unafraid to offer up my services as an assassin. I realized then that in a relationship, some questions are better left unasked.
Gemma went back to resting her head on my chest and her eyes slid closed as I rubbed her back. I went back to thinking.
My face was to be in the papers again; this time in a much more flattering light I hoped. As I thought over this prospect, I could not help but hope that a copy of Gemma's masterfully devised story would make its way into the hands of Raoul de Chagny.
I hoped that he and Christine would read it and would see that I had not remained the pathetic creature I had been when they had known, and left, me. I wanted them to know I was better off without them, that I had risen above them.
I did not flatter myself that they would care overmuch, or even see the damn story for that matter. I did not believe that when Christine read the print she would feel the same burning of anger and sorrow that I had experienced upon learning that she loved another.
Still it would be a small kind of triumph, petty perhaps but I did think that after all the disappointment and humiliation I had been subject to I deserved my victory, half empty though it was.
Gemma's delicate hand reached out suddenly and in her semi sleeping state she wrapped her arm around me, holding on. I was reminded then that I had won; I had won her. Even if this did not matter to Raoul and Christine, not to mention baby Charles, it did matter to me.
Gemma belonged to me. No, that was still not it. The image of Gemma Chevalier belonged to the masses, but her heart belonged to me.