"How many people write fanfiction?"
"God, I don't know. Thousands and thousands."
"So if you don't want the books to be over, you could just keep reading Simon Snow stories forever online..."
"Exactly," Cath said earnestly. She thought Levi must be judging her, but she got it. "If you fall in love with the World of Magic you can keep living there."
"I wouldn't call that living," Regan said.
"It was a metaphor," Levi said gently.
-Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell - 2013

I don't own divergent or the characters, Veronica Roth does!

Then I'm running, I'm clambering down corridors with no clue as to where I'm going. Faces I don't know all blur together, all I do know is that I'm going to be sick. I've made myself sick with worry. I scramble to the grass and retch, nothing comes up though. I'm left in someone's garden on my own dry heaving, because I'm scared.

I've not been out here long, the cold winter breeze passes through the garden leaving leaves misplaced from their branches. The slight frost is melted underneath my dress, the stars twinkle above, truly like gems on navy velvet.

I'm alone, scared to go back in and face my brother. Yet, I can't leave Tobias in there alone, it's been long and when you don't know him, he can appear to be timid.

"Beatrice? " I hear a voice call. I'm in no state to see anyone, besides possibly Tobias. "Are you out here? " I would be able to tell if it was Tobias, I know his voice all too well, He wouldn't call me 'Beatrice', I'm Tris, his Tris. A curly haired boy pokes his head around he corner.

"She was right, you really have changed." they say. I stand up, brushing down my head and dress as I go. I step closer towards the figure, the only light supplied from the windows of the house. Robert. I've not seen him in months.

"Hi, Robert. Long time no see, huh?" Robert's hair looks more yellow than usual tonight given the inside light from upstairs.

"Yeah, it's been a while, time has served you well," the slightest blush rises to my cheeks. Does he know that I'm with Tobias?

"Why are you out here? " I attempt to divert the conversation.

"Susan said you were here and I asked where you were. She said that she'd seen you running this way, so I went to go and find out. " I'm uncomfortable here, I'm sure he's trying to be friendly, but is he trying too hard?

"Oh, well here I am!" I laugh as I attempt to walk back in.

"Wait!" he shouts," I need to talk to you. " Oh dear.

"Oh, well go ahead. " Please make it quick, I should be returning to Tobias.

"Look, the thing is. I meant to say this before you left, but I never got round to it. I was going to tell you the night before you left, but I had a family arrangement. So I thought I would say this now, while you're in town. " This isn't good, no. Please, no.
"You see, for a long time I've felt this way and now I can finally tell you. You're single, I'm single." He's wrong, very, very wrong, " but I like you Beatrice. You're here for a few more days, but we can make this work, long distance-" No, he can't do this. I need to stop him, but gently.

"-Robert," I give him a pleading look. His blonde curly hair is the opposite to Tobias'. I can't picture myself with him, I mould to Tobias' body, we fit together like two puzzle pieces, Robert and I wouldn't . We're like two corner pieces; never to fit. "Please, stop. I can't be with you. Not now at least. " He look of enthusiasm is instantly knocked. " I can't believe she didn't tell you. I don't know if you saw him here, but Tobias Eaton and I. " My voice fades, I'm struggling to continue speaking; he came out here smiling, hopeful and I've shot him right back down. I'm a real bitch aren't I? "Tobias and I… I'm sorry. " I feel more upset than he does, it's not like I would ever take him over Tobias. It hardly sounds like I'm sorry. I'm not exactly empathising with him am I? "Look, had you asked me before I left, then maybe we'd be different. Maybe I would have said yes, but now? I'm sorry, Robert," I can't look him in the eye, not now, maybe not ever. What would Susan think? Why didn't she tell him, surely she would have known that her brother liked me? After panicking about telling everyone, after my brother earlier and finding out about Tobias added this? I'm welling up, soon I'm going to start crying. "I'm sorry."

Then, again, I'm running. The room's hot, packed with bodies dancing or talking. I glance around looking for Tobias to help me home; my cocktail of emotions is too much for me to cope with on my own. I see his figure in the corner of the room talking to some other guys, beer in hand.

"Hey, " his grin widens seeing me approach, however with my red puffy eyes, my soaking wet dress, his expression fades. Meeting me halfway he continues, " Are you okay, Tris? " Tobias loops his arms around my waist pulling me in close, he nuzzles his face in my hair, holding me tight.

"I need to go home, Tobias. I can't continue here," I start to cry into his chest, probably smearing my mascara and such across his shirt.

"Okay, sure, I'll take you. Hey, hey," he tilts my face up to be in line with his," do you want to talk about it?" he whispers.

"No, not right now, maybe later," he intertwines our fingers and helps me out of the house. It's started to snow again lightly, just like powdered sugar. The town is like a gingerbread one with icicles like icing, the snow and the houses all uniform, all that's missing is multicoloured candy planted by a child. As much of a relief the fresh air is, it's colder than I would prefer. A small shiver slips from my shoulders encouraging Tobias to shed his coat in order to help me.

Thank you all for reading, I love you all so much!

I have so many quotes from fangirl I want to put in here, I really can't help it. Any book recommendations are always welcome!
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