A/N: So little feedback last chapter... I mean I knew it was shit but I didn't think it was that shit.

But oh well, for those of you who remain, here's another chapter. It's short, I admit, but it's also done so there's that.

Enjoy~

Quicksand - Tim Legend

What, Yuuri reflected as he waked out of the Speedway, Viktor in tow. Do I think I'm doing? The soft night air blew around them, carrying with it the happy sounds of chattering people who were gathered around the base of the hotel. The Russian gazed at them softly, almost as if he didn't understand what he was looking at. His eyes shone in the darkness, his blue irises reflecting back the golds and reds of the city lights. There was such a tiredness in his expression, it was almost incomprehensible.

It was the reason they were doing this at all. The reason that those words had come out of Yuuri's mouth in the first place, an extended hand when both of them were drained, physically and mentally. Yuuri didn't know what was weighing on Viktor's mind, he doubted the man would tell him even if he asked. Part of him wished that Viktor would open up but the rest of him knew that this was as open as Viktor was going to get.

That helplessness in his eyes, Yuuri hadn't seen it before. Yet here it was in the way he turned his head to gaze at Yuuri with softly parted lips like he wanted to speak but he couldn't find the words. You're hurting yourself, getting closer like this, the voice in his head reminded him. He's going to leave and you're just opening yet another door to him, letting him get deeper. But when Viktor so clearly needed this, needed to escape from life for a while, Yuuri would give him that in a heartbeat.

Come stay at my place. Like he'd lost his mind. Yuuri hadn't even registered his own words at first but after realizing he'd said them, he'd realized just how much he meant it. And even though his heart seemed to always ache because of the Russian, it was when Viktor was closest that Yuuri could forget. Besides, he kept telling himself. He looks like he wants to forget some things himself.

He definitely did now as he paused again to stare at the happy fans chatting in the shadows of the hotel. Almost like he was afraid. Yuuri felt something twist within him at that. Sometimes, he had to wonder if Viktor was even human. Right now though, he looked so painfully human that it hurt. Those glassy eyes, that soft silver hair that blew around that classic face, they reflected a facet of Viktor Yuuri doubted he'd ever see again.

"Do you ever tire of people?" Viktor asked softly, the words not quite rolling off his tongue like they usually did. There was too much fatigue in his posture for his musical voice to flow. "Do you ever wish you could just get away?" It sounded like such an offhanded comment but coming from Viktor, it was loaded.

"Yeah, everyone gets tired eventually Viktor," Yuuri murmured. Turning at the sound of his voice, Viktor stared at Yuuri like the sun revolved around him. It was terrifying and wonderful and Yuuri almost wanted to shrink under the gaze, but he stood strong.

And to think that just a few hours ago, Yuuri hadn't thought Viktor was coming ever again. After Minami had left, Yuuri had started to stew. As the clock had ticked closer to when Viktor was supposed to show up, Yuuri had found himself getting unnecessarily panicked. That morning, had he said anything that would give away that he was in love? What if Viktor had figured it out and now wanted nothing more to do with him?

It had only gotten worse when Viktor had then proceeded to not show up. As the minutes slipped past, Yuuri had just sunk further into depression because he know that this was for the best but he hadn't wanted it to end like this. He knows and he's leaving now. He's never coming back. And it had hurt, it had hurt a lot.

Eventually, as the clock ticked past two, Yuuri had given up. You never should have fallen in love, his mind had told him repeatedly. You shouldn't have been that stupid.

But then Viktor had show up with those tired eyes and defeated posture and Yuuri had understood in that moment that he wouldn't be able to just forget. It didn't matter if Viktor left tomorrow or in a month, It would still kill him regardless. And if he finds out I love him, Yuuri had thought bitterly. Then it'll just be worse for him. So he'd simply melted into Viktor and pushed his uncertainty down. He'd been left exhausted by his own pointless worrying, but it didn't matter in the end because Viktor had been worn down too. So maybe, maybe we can just exist like this together.

Now, as Viktor gazed at him almost like he wanted to cry but was simply too tired to do so, Yuuri didn't even care that it would hurt. He loved this man and he didn't have the strength to push him away.

"Ah," Viktor muttered, his voice bringing Yuuri out of his trance. "I suppose I'm just not used to it getting to me." Like it was an obsession, the man turned back towards the crowd. There was something else in his eyes that Yuuri recognized as bitterness. "Who knew they could be like this..."

Even though he doubted he'd get an answer, Yuuri asked, "What happened?" The look that came over Viktor's face was strained, like he wanted to avoid the topic but still felt the need to answer. Turning to Yuuri, there came a brief moment where his expression was downright regretful, but then it faded back into listlessness.

"Ah, I got... Caught up in the crowd earlier," Viktor explained, though Yuuri had a feeling he was leaving something out. Despite this, Yuuri didn't poke at it, he just let Viktor keep talking. "One of the people from the History Makers, he... was trying to get through but they kept yelling at him." Again, Yuuri knew Viktor wasn't telling him the whole story but by the look on Viktor's face, he didn't need to know. Because I know what it's like, right? "It was quite jarring."

"I can imagine." As he spoke, Yuuri reached out, grabbing for Viktor's hand. He was hardly surprised when the man tangled their fingers together and it made him smile, however subdued the smile was. It's just like him to want to be even closer. "People can be like that Viktor, vicious. You learn to live with it."

Viktor ducked his head and let out a soft chuckle, one that made Yuuri's heart lift. "You sound so jaded, Dove." Though his tone was weary, his grip on Yuuri's hand tightened. The unspoken, you shouldn't sound like that hung between them but neither of them acknowledged it aloud.

"Come on Viktor," Yuuri said at last, softly tugging on their linked hands. "Let's go." Without argument, Viktor followed along behind him.

The walk back to Yuuri's apartment was spent in silence. Viktor was calmer now, Yuuri could tell, more peaceful than he'd been before. Whatever he had been worrying about seemed to fade away as they walked hand in hand down the city streets. It's so ordinary, Yuuri reflected, glancing at Viktor out of the corner of his eye. As if he's not some mysterious stranger. If someone were to watch them, they would have seen an ordinary couple, walking home after a long night of work.

Then Viktor caught his eyes and Yuuri realized he'd been staring. Turning red, he glanced back at the sidewalk in front of them but not before catching Viktor's small smile. So much for being too tired to be embarrassed.

As they reached Yuuri's apartment, Viktor took up his post beside the door as he waited for the man to unlock the door. The soft lights of the street lights illuminated Viktor's face as he stood there, looking almost worried, but not quite. Pushing open the door, Yuuri stepped inside and took a breath. Though Viktor's presence definitely made him more aware, Yuuri was still ready to drop.

Tentatively, Viktor stood in the doorway, just staring in, that same lost expression on his face as before. Frozen like that, Yuuri couldn't tell what was going through the man's mind. He just watched Yuuri like there was something he wanted to say, but he couldn't quite remember what it was. Sighing, the boy stepped forward and pulled Viktor inside, finally shaking him from his trance.

Blinking in the way one does when their mind they've only just remembered there's still a real world to pay attention to, Viktor reached up and combed his fingers through Yuuri's hair, pulling it out of his face. Yuuri half expected the man to kiss him, but he didn't, he just stood there quietly. Why are you worried Viktor, why do you keep looking at me like that? It made his chest ache, so Yuuri stifled it behind words.

"Hey Viktor," he muttered, half of his mouth turning up in a tired smile. "Stop thinking about it." Viktor started suddenly, his eyes lighting with nervousness.

"How do you-"

"I don't," Yuuri answered easily, pulling out of Viktor's grasp so he could close and lock the door. "But you're worried about something so just... stop." Rotating back to face Viktor, Yuuri neared him before choosing to just catch the edge of the man's shirt and tug him down the hall. He didn't know what Viktor was thinking about, but he knew what things entered his mind the moment he let them.

He's not going to stay...

But he would for the night.

As he walked into the main room, Yuuri let go of Viktor so he could make sure everything was good for the night. He considered eating something but he wasn't particularly hungry. All he wanted right now was sleep. Hearing Viktor's footsteps behind him, Yuuri heart did an uncomfortable thing. Because he hadn't thought of how intimate even this was. Like he was putting everything he was out for display.

Watching Viktor's eyes lightly touch on the various bits and pieces that were scattered around Yuuri's apartment, all the things that made the space feel lived in, it felt like another line had simply dissolved. Viktor had invaded his heart and his mind, but now he'd somehow managed to insert himself right into Yuuri's everyday existence like he belonged there. Despite Yuuri knowing that he'd never be a permanent fixture in his life, he couldn't help but wish for it because Viktor looked natural there.

Why did I have to fall in love with him?

The man paused then, staring at the few pictures Yuuri had hanging on his rather unadorned walls.

"Your sister?" Viktor asked softly, curiously. Looking over at the frame instead of the man examining them, Yuuri nodded without speaking.

"Yeah, that's Mari," Yuuri confirmed. You're just letting this get more tangled... "And that's Yuuko," he continued, ignoring the voice in the back of his mind. "She's a close friend. Those are her three daughters." Yuuri chuckled. "You've... met them."

A faint grin appeared on Viktor's face. "They are certainly something," he told Yuuri, chuckling as he did so. "Very helpful."

"Oh I dunno," Yuuri commented, thinking of the antics the girls had pulled that morning and curling his lip ruefully. "They're more trouble than they're worth sometimes. Besides, you were doing great without their help."

"Was I now?" Viktor asked, his presence suddenly becoming closer as he leaned over the man. As an absent finger brushed the hair back from Yuuri's forehead, Viktor murmured, "Is that supposed to be a subtle hint?"

"N-no!" Yuuri stammered, tensing up suddenly before relaxing with a huff.

"Let me rephrase the question," Viktor offered, a rumble of warm, lethargic laughter making its way out of his chest. "You mentioned yesterday that you'd have tomorrow off." Looking up at Viktor, Yuuri was instantly captivated by his promising eyes. "Would you care to spend the evening with me?"

Sensing Viktor's intentions, Yuuri's breath caught for a moment before he let out a soft, "Yes."

Leaning down, the Russian stole a kiss from Yuuri before drawing back. "Wonderful~" And there it was, like he was slowly being brought back from the dead, the musical note to Viktor's voice returned. Yes, they were both still exhausted, but Viktor didn't look as worried anymore, and Yuuri didn't feel quite so dead. It was better and it somehow made the night feel warmer.

Spending a moment in comfortable silence, Yuuri at last caught Viktor's eyelids drooping heavily and remembered what they were supposed to be doing in the first place. Breathing out a laugh, Yuuri tugged at the front of Viktor's shirt lightly. "We should probably get some sleep," he said, the suggestion sounding wonderful to even his own ears. "I've got a few classes in the morning and you probably have things to do."

Letting out a puff of air that stirred his bangs, Viktor let his forehead rest against Yuuri's tiredly. "Yes, I do believe I do. Namely apologizing again." He pulled a face at that but Yuuri could sense how much the whole affair troubled him. Whatever had happened, it was big enough that it couldn't just roll off of Viktor like everything else seemed to. Gently, Yuuri lifted a hand and traced his fingers down the side of Viktor's cheek in a feathery caress. The feeling of Viktor simply leaning into his touch took the boy's breath away and made his heart thud painfully in his chest. "Maybe I could just stay here forever," Viktor mused, his words sending small vibrations through Yuuri's skin. "It would be so much simpler and happier~"

The words I wish caught in Yuuri's throat and he almost choked on them, but he managed to hold it back. "You're exhausted Viktor," Yuuri said to the man, his eyes attempting and finally succeeding in catching the Russian's eyes. He wanted to add you're not thinking clearly but he knew that he hadn't been supposed to take the careless words that fell out of Viktor's mouth in that way so he just bit his lip. Noticing this, Viktor frowned slightly in concentration before tilting his head to the side and coaxing Yuuri into a kiss, this one deeper and ever so slow. Bringing his free hand up, Viktor's warm fingers stroked Yuuri's neck and jaw as if he was trying to commit the boy to memory by touch alone. Sighing into the kiss, Yuuri didn't bother fighting it, he melded his own body with Viktor's and let his eyelids droop closed.

I could stay like this forever, he realized as his chest ached acutely and his breath caught in his throat. I wish Viktor could stay forever.

But the thought of a warm bed and sleep finally enticed Yuuri into breaking the kiss and pulling back an inch from Viktor. "If it were up to you, we'd stay here forever," he said with a laugh, licking his glistening lips, catching the taste of Viktor on them.

Viktor raised an eyebrow. "If you keep looking at me like that Yuuri, I can guarantee you won't be going anywhere any time soon." Letting out a ripple or mirth at the wide eyed look Yuuri gave him, Viktor pushed away from the wall and allowed the blushing Yuuri to lead him towards the bedroom.

Not bothering to turn on the lights, having no need for them at this point, Yuuri started to disentangle himself from his work uniform. He could feel Viktor's eyes watching him carefully as he pulled the blue shirt of his uniform up over his head and tossed it aside carelessly. Even though it made him feel self-conscious, Yuuri liked that he was commanding Viktor's full attention. Grabbing for a old t-shirt, Yuuri slipped into it quickly, his movements more rote than thought through. When he realized Viktor still hadn't moved from the doorway, Yuuri turned to face him.

As their eyes met, Viktor slowly moved into the room, pulling the door closed behind them. Plunged into near total darkness as they were, Yuuri made quick work of shucking his work pants before digging up a pair of shorts. Knowing that Viktor still hadn't moved, Yuuri slowly walked towards the man, having no need for light when he'd already memorized his tiny bedroom in its entirety. Making out the faintest silhouette of Viktor, Yuuri found his collar easily and had no trouble pulling him down so he could leave a kiss on parted lips.

"You probably need something to wear," Yuuri muttered, feeling silly for not having thought of it before. At his words, Viktor let out a soft murmur, something between a chuckle and a sigh. Hands brushed under his shirt and against Yuuri's bare skin, provoking a slight shudder that worked its way up his spine lazily.

"That would be nice," Viktor admitted, though he didn't seem particularly interested in acting on those words. Instead, his hands kept trailing upwards, flatting out over Yuuri's skin like he wanted to do more but was restraining himself. Or maybe we're both just too tired... Humming deep in his chest, Viktor murmured, "So beautiful..." as if he merely voicing his train of thought.

Glad the dark was hiding the flush in his cheeks, Yuuri drew back. "I can find something. They might be a little small but..." He shrugged, even though Viktor couldn't see him. Before he forgot what he was doing again, Yuuri found an old pair of sweat pants and a shirt that he'd picked up somewhere that was too big for him. "The bathroom's over there," he informed Viktor, carefully placing the clothes in the man's hands. Not that he didn't believe that Viktor would mind changing in front of him, Yuuri merely assumed he wasn't quite as good at doing everything without any light as he was.

Without commenting one way or another, Viktor nodded before muttering a thank you and walking towards the sliver of light that escaped from under the door. Turning away so as not to be blinded by the harsh light, Yuuri waited until the room was dark again before padding towards his bed and gratefully collapsing onto the old mattress. It was funny, Yuuri thought vaguely as the sheets settled around him. Viktor had been uncharacteristically silent that night, and yet that quiet was the most honest he'd ever seen the man. All those flowery words, they're just a shield in the end, they're his way of not having to think.

And once they dropped, he was left to face the world.

Yuuri's musings were cut short by Viktor, who was nudging him over so he could curl up under the sheets as well. Almost at once, he looped an arm around Yuuri's waist and pulled him in. Twisting in Viktor's grasp, Yuuri pressed his face against Viktor's collar bone. I can hear his heartbeat, Yuuri realized.

Burying his face in Yuuri's hair, Viktor softly said, "I'm sorry I'm so out of it tonight Love, life's just been... confusing lately." The words were accompanied by Viktor shifting even closer to Yuuri, tangling their legs together and letting his hands creep up the back of the boy's shirt.

I know, hell, I'm confused right now. But he didn't say those words aloud, instead he tilted his chin up so he could press a kiss to the underside of Viktor's jaw. "It's okay," were the tired utterances that finally crept their way out of his throat. "No one expects you to be perfect all the time Viktor." Yuuri almost wanted to say more, but he couldn't keep his eyes open and why bother trying when Viktor was wrapped around him, almost like they were something instead of just strangers.

A temporary relief from life, one Yuuri couldn't get out of his head and probably wouldn't be able to get out of his heart either.

"Sometimes," Viktor sluggishly mumbled back. "I feel like the whole world expects me to be." A slow, almost shuddering breath. "I never thought there'd come a day when I'd tire of it." Though Yuuri didn't quite understand what Viktor meant by that, he nodded anyway.

"Just go to sleep Viktor," he muttered, giving up on trying to stay awake. And Viktor didn't argue, he simply pressed his lips against Yuuri's hair before tucking his chin in and stilling. Protected like he was in the man's arms, Yuuri was struck with the sudden urge to cry.

He could still hear Viktor's heartbeat. Slow and rhythmic. Calming.

He's not even really mine, he's just having fun.

It made his chest ache.

You asked what I wanted Yuuko,Yuuri thought distantly as he drifted off. This is it, this is what I want.

The one thing he could never really have.

A/N: Ha ha why do all my cuddles turn to angst oh god...

Alternately titled: An essay on how the author can't find any more synonyms for the word 'tired'