Summary: The guild makes a bigger deal out of the fact Natsu brought a girl home.

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy and the usual family feels within the guild...and Loke being Loke.

YouTube Prompt: A crack video of the guild trying to match-make Natsu and Lucy to the song'Fixer Upper'from Disney's Frozen because can't you see either Happy or Asuka saying the line 'By the way I don't see no ring'? And some of those insulting lines could have so come from Loke and Gray.

Lucy wasn't sure how she was going to even speak to Fairy Tail, let alone ask if she could join, the moment Natsu literally kicked the door down, it was chaos as everyone fought one another. It freaked her out a bit, especially when Mirajane, her idol, got knocked out by a chair, but there was something heart-warming about it.

Once they all calmed down someone noticed that Lucy had been hovering round the guild. "Hey," a brown-haired guy with a pipe hanging out of his mouth, "whose the blonde?"

Lucy flushed as everyone turned to look at her. Some of the men leered at her, which wasn't really a problem, she was used to that, but what did make her uncomfortable was the fact that one of them was incredibly naked. The girls merely eyed her with curiosity.

"Oh, that's just Lucy," Happy said dismissively as he nibbled on a fish, "Natsu brought her back with us."

There is utter silence, to the point that Lucy swore she heard the wind howl, and a dust ball from one of those Wild West movies blow past her knees, and then -

"OH MY GOD! NATSU BROUGHT A GIRL HOME!"

That was when Lucy suddenly found herself surrounded by people. The smoking guy blew smoke in her face, the girls were pulling at her and oohing, and some of the boys were really taking advantage of the situation.

"Are you sure she's a girl?" the naked one asked. "I wouldn't put it past Natsu getting the two mixed up," he grinned evilly.

Lucy clenched her hand into a fist and would have socked him one if it wasn't for the fact, the gorgeous redhead with the sun glasses (and a parka coat, a really weird mix) pinched her breast. She shrieked and moved to hit him but he danced back in time.

"Definitely a girl," the redhead smirked, "I can tell."

"Loke!" Mirajane scolded him. "That was very rude and disgusting. You're lucky that Erza wasn't here to see this – oh my God! Erza! She has to know about this!" and that was when Lucy's only defender disappeared and abandoned her to the masses.

"How the hell did Natsu get her?" the naked one asked loudly as he circled round her. Like a vulture. It was incredibly disturbing. "She's a far too pretty for him."

"Natsu!" Lucy cried out as she tried to get away from this creep. "Do something!"

"Huh?" Natsu blinked. "But I did do something. I brought you home…and you are pretty. Jeeze, you're a weirdo."

Lucy would have screamed some obscenities to the idiot but his stupid words had caused such an uproar amongst the guild. One big man screamed about how 'manly' Natsu was, other men made dirty jokes, and so did the drunken girl…Cana? And some of the other girls squealed and made their own implied sexual comments. Lucy was certain her head was going to explode when Mirajane came back with a lacrima crystal. At first Lucy hoped it was something to shut people up but then the model shoved it right under Lucy's nose to reveal a blurry image of a red-haired woman.

"Ara! Erza look!" Mirajane cooed. "This is the girl Natsu brought home! Isn't she just adorable? They'll make very beautiful babies!"

"Hmm…" Erza studied Lucy carefully. Lucy gulped and tried to make herself as small as possible. She suddenly got the impression that this wasn't a woman to cross. "I will come back as soon as possible to interrogate you on your intentions towards Natsu. Do not leave the town any time soon."

"Aye!" Lucy squeaked. Suddenly fighting the urge to wet herself and hide somewhere dark, deep, and where no one can reach her. Something told her that still wouldn't be enough. "I-I will be waiting," she managed to say.

"Very good," Erza nodded, "I shall see you soon."

She signed off and Lucy was relieved to see that many of the people that crowded her before had vanished at the sight of Erza. Mirajane smiled sweetly at Lucy and hesitatingly, she smiled back. Perhaps she could get past this and actually join Fairy Tail now… "What are your intentions to Natsu?" Mirajane asked.

"Nothing dishonourable!" Lucy squawked defensively.

"Ah!" Mirajane clasped her face. "Natsu and Lucy are getting married!"

"WHAT?!"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand once again Lucy was crowded by people. They all ignored her stammering protestations in their enthusiasm to congratulate her.

"Congratulations!"

"Are you sure you want to marry him?"

"Don't waste such beauty on Natsu. Run away and marry me, Princess!"

"Oh my God! Can I be a bridesmaid?"

"Oh wow! So fast, we only just got to meet you – unless you and Natsu had been dating secretly?!"

"How long till I see little grandbabies running around my guild?"

"Weddings! A brilliant excuse for booze!"

"WE'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED!" Lucy screamed. Everyone fell silent out of shock, they obviously hadn't expected Lucy to explode like that. Embarrassed and rather ashamed with herself, Lucy coughed and nervously brushed some hair out of her face, "Erm, what I meant to say is that you got it wrong. We're not getting married," .

"Ooh, living in sin," Cana smirked as she wrapped an arm round Lucy, "my kind of girl. C'mon, let's get a drink together and you can tell me how Natsu's penis turned out."

Lucy choked, spluttered, and almost died of heart failure as Cana dragged her to the bar. She turned to look pleadingly at Natsu but the arsehole was ignoring everyone as he examined the job request board.

As Cana shoved Lucy down onto a stool, Mirajane placed a very strong alcoholic drink before her, and the other girls, and a couple of the men including the naked one, sat around her as they eyed her in interest.

Oh dear God! What the hell did Lucy get herself into?!