Miracles in the Fog

Fluff ahead!

Leni's POV

Fourth morning this week I've been bent over the toilet, throwing up. Chunks of partially digested food and stomach acid spilling from my mouth and splashing into the toilet bowl. In my mind, I've been going over my diet lately, or wondering if there's a stomach virus floating around, something the kids picked up at school. But mostly I'm thinking that now is the worst time for this to happen.

Oh, man—make it stop! I think to myself as my hurling ceases and I slowly straighten, rising my mouth out with cold tap water. I'm almost done settling Grant's estate and cleaning out his room—but that bare room is a reminder of what this house has lost. The kids and I have started brainstorming ways we can use it—a recreation room, maybe? I think Grant would've liked that.

Aside from the morning sickness, I'm doing fine. I'm far from being the stereotypical shutterbug widow, taking care of myself, eating right, hitting the gym and going for jogs. Being cocooned in grief isn't an option with four young kids in the house. Alex and Nora are old enough to do chores, and Grant and I have been weaning them off their parental dependency long before this happened, but still. They're just as broken up as me. They need a mother. They need at least one parental unit to set them on the right path. Will neglecting my kids bring Grant back? No. Will feeling sorry for myself bring him back? No. Will dwelling on what I should've done bring him back? No, no, no.

Nora's taking on some more responsibilities lately, helping me take care of her siblings, helping me balance the checkbook, mediating squabbles, cooking with me in the kitchen—even breaking out the toolbox and fixing things just like Grant used to. She's thinking about taking driving lessons, too. Going on sweet sixteen, and she wants to drive a car. I get that she wants to be independent, but—

Alex is trying to be "the man of the house", but he tends to overdo it sometimes. He acts quite bossy around his siblings, and Nora and I have to call him on it. But he's learning, though. He must've learned something from Grant and Luigi's brief falling-out, because he controls his temper more and avoids starting fights. He makes his younger siblings laugh rather than pick on them, helps them clean up their messes—even watches little kid cartoons with them, switching to big kid cartoons once they've had their fill. I see them in the backyard, kicking a soccer ball around. I overhear them making plans to build a tree house. I think that losing their father has helped them appreciate who and what they have, because they won't be around forever.

Shelia's managing, too. She's learning to style her hair, apply makeup, paint her nails, ride a bike and Rollerblade. Each time she learns a bike trick, she shows it off to all of us. I help teach her bike safety, too, fastening a pair of Grant's travel-sized flashlights into headlights and taking her to the bike store to buy reflectors, oil, inflators and bike repair tools. When she's not practicing on her bike, she's playing Smash for the Wii U with her siblings, or Mario Party 10 or Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash. Sometimes, she breaks out the Nintendo Switch for Mario Kart 8 Deluxe or 1, 2 Switch. You should hear her voicing her anticipation over Super Mario Odyssey.

Dan—he's kinda quiet lately. Ever since he broke down at the service, he's shown little to no emotion. He's distracting himself with school and his favorite activities and playing with his older siblings. Grant and Dan were very close, especially when the latter was in the hospital with a broken jaw. I tell him that he can't bottle his feelings in, but he tells me he's fine. Nora and I know he's just numb, and that soon the reality will catch up with him. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and hopefully, acceptance.

To tell the truth, I have no idea which stage I'm on.

As for Luigi, he seems to be doing well. He looked okay the last time we spoke. He joins me and the kids when we go on outings, and he almost always brings his Polterpup along. I can't read his mind, so I can't tell you how he's coping. Only the author can, but that's missing the point. What I'm saying is that he needs the company, and the kids and I need him. We need to rely on each other to gain some closure over losing Grant and then move on.

Still, when I look at him, I can't help but wonder if he's hiding something—

Which brings us here. To me throwing up every morning and wondering why. Is my grief really getting to me? Am I stressing over what's coming next? Am I secretly worried over Luigi's well-being? Am I…?

Wait.

I haven't had my time of the month yet!

Oh, my goodness? Could I be?

Could I be…?

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

The next day, I pay a visit to Dr. Mario.

"How've you been?" he asked.

"Good. The kids are doing good, too."

"Luigi…?"

"He's—managing."

Dr. Mario accepts that response. "So—what brings you here?"

"First of all, I'm dealing with morning sickness—really bad morning sickness. And—I'm late."

He asks me some medical-related questions and seems to arrive at the same conclusion I have. A Mii nurse helps me submit a blood and urine sample, and then I head home.

About a month or so later, Dr. Mario phones me just as I return from dropping off the kids at school.

"Leni—congratulations," he says.

I can't believe it. Shakily, I ask him. "How far along?"

"About nine weeks," he replies warmly. "Tell your kids that there's about to be a new addition to the family."

"Wow," I breathe as I trail a hand over my belly.

Grant's not gone. I see his eyes when my babies look at me. I feel his presence among the stars at night. I hear his chipper laughter in every sunrise. And now—he's given me a reason to keep on living. A piece of him, growing inside me.

"Hi, little one," I coo to my stomach. "Mommy's here. Mommy's got you. And I'll never let anything bad happen to you."

Then, I pick the phone back up and set up an appointment with an obstetrician.

Grant—thank you.

Nora's POV

Even before Mom tells us the news, I already know. The vomiting in the morning, the occasional mood swings, the slight bloating. Another little brother or sister is on the way.

Maybe there's use for Dad's old room after all—

Alex's POV

Mom is pregnant again! I hope it's a boy! Maybe I can teach him how to ride a skateboard and play baseball and how to be a Power Ranger and watch my favorite movies with him!

But I won't mind if I get a little sister. Maybe I can cuddle with her and teach her how to build things with Legos. Maybe she'll grow up to like my comic books. Maybe she'll be just like Dad, with a knack for selling things. Maybe—

Shelia's POV

Mom tells me that the baby is so small that we can't see it yet. When it grows bigger, her tummy will start to stretch, and we'll get to see the baby kicking! And then we'll find out if it's a boy or a girl. I hope I get another sister!

Dan's POV

My dad's gone, and it hurts, but seeing the baby growing inside Mom will make me feel a little better. Miracles do happen, after all.

Spirit's POV

Arf! Arf! Woof! Grrrrufff!

There are times when only a Mother's love
Can understand our tears,
Can soothe our disappointments
And calm all of our fears.

There are times when only a Mother's love
Can share the joy we feel
When something we have dreamed about
Quite suddenly is real.

There are times when only a Mother's faith
Can help us on life's way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day.

For a Mother's heart and a Mother's faith
And a Mother's steadfast love
Were fashioned by the Angels
And sent from God above.

-Michael Olakunle Adesanya

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