"Four!" I yelp, pushing him back and wrapping my black silk robe tightly around me as I climb off his lap. Confusion, lust, and hurt are all evident on his face. "Christina's here," I whisper. We both turn various shades of red while Christina is standing in our doorway very much like a newly chiseled statue. "Maybe you should go take a shower." He nods his head.
"That's probably a good idea," he huskily says. He gets up off the couch and hurriedly moves up to the second floor. I turn my attention to the statue that once was my best friend.
"Christina?" I give her a "what the hell" look, and she finally unfreezes.
"I. Am. So. Sorry! I knocked ... a lot. I didn't think you two were home from your appointment yet so I tried the door and, Tris, I'm so sorry. I obviously interrupted something. I'm so embarrassed." She's embarrassed. "Is it still okay if we do this here?" she asks timidly.
"Of course it is, and I have to say it isn't entirely your fault. We knew what time you were coming over. We just got a bit ... carried away, which isn't anything new these days," I sigh. "Plus I had no idea the door was unlocked." We look anywhere but at each other for a few minutes letting the awkward tension hang in the room like a low hanging thundercloud before I continue. "I got some bad news today. I can't go back to work until the New Year, and I can't walk anymore on my ankle until the doctor releases me. Four and I overslept this morning, and in racing down to the infirmary to make it to my appointment on time, I apparently set my recovery back."
"You don't look upset," she says, then a sly look crosses her face. "Of course, if I was doing what I just caught you two doing, I'd be in a pretty good mood, too."
"Candor!" Tobias roars in his scary Four voice as he descends the stairway into the living room at the same time I say, "Christina!" She physically pales two shades when she sees Four's furious face. I'm sure he's more embarrassed than angry right now but he's not showing that side to her.
"Actually, Four took me to the training room and let me do some target practice for about an hour to get my aggression out. It helped ... a lot. Before then, I was a wreck and really didn't want any part of today, so you should be thanking him and not saying anything about what you just walked in on."
"I already apologized to Tris and now I'm apologizing to you, Four," she says shyly, which sounds out of character for her. "I'm sorry for just walking in. In my defense, I knocked several times and figured you two weren't home yet. I didn't mean to interrupt. I am sorry." He just grunts a bit in her direction, which makes me giggle a little.
"What time do I need to pick you up, Tris?" he asks, looking only at me.
"How about 6:30. All the girls are meeting the guys by the cafeteria doors at 7 p.m. like we did at the welcome party." He leans down and gives me a quick peck on the cheek.
"I'm going to go to my office for a few hours then I'm getting ready at Zeke and Shauna's with the guys. If you need me, just call or text. I love you," he quietly says then he stalks out the door.
"Wow, I've never seen him like that," Christina says, her eyes wide once again.
"He's just embarrassed," I say with a shrug. "He'll get over it, we both will." She shoots me another apologetic look then starts setting up my living room and kitchen to be a duplicate salon. She rolls in a giant mirror and sets it up behind the island. She brings in what looks like a suitcase full of various tools, lotions, makeup, and hair accessories and heaves it up onto her makeshift work surface. She turns each of the four barstools away from the backside of the island so she can stand behind them. She next brings in what looks like a coatrack and hangs up a black garment bag on it.
"Where are your dress, shoes, and lingerie?" she asks me over her shoulder as she's putting her tools exactly where she wants them on the island.
"Oh, I forgot. They're upstairs in my closet. I'll go get them if you bring me my crutches." She gives me a dirty look.
"I'm not letting you climb stairs on your crutches. I'll go get them. I know everything you're wearing tonight since I bought them." She jogs up the stairs two at a time and comes back down in record time, garment bag and two sacks in hand. She hangs my garment bag with hers and puts the other two bags on the ground at the base of the coatrack. "Do you have any idea how you want your hair tonight?" she asks, hands on her hips taking in my wet head.
"I would love some curls like the welcome party. Can you still do it since you cut my hair?" I ask.
"Sure. Come over here and sit down. I'll roll your hair while we're waiting for the others." She brings me my crutches, and I hobble over to the barstools. I automatically sit down at the one I always sit in. She combs through my still wet hair and starts rolling small sections of hair around extra-large curlers. "I have to ask, or I will be dying all day."
I have a feeling I know what question is coming but I only say, "What?"
"Have you two started having sex? You looked mighty cozy on the couch," she says, curiosity thick in her voice. I might as well get this conversation over with while she and I are the only ones here.
"No, we haven't. We keep getting interrupted," I say matter-of-factly.
"Interruptions? Like more than one?"
"Yes. People knocking on the door or buzzers are going off or someone just walks in."
"You're never going to let me live that one down are you? I said I was sorry," she says winding my hair around another curler and securing it to my head. "I told you I was just as embarrassed as you were."
"I highly doubt that. Abnegation, remember," I say pointing at myself. "I was mortified you saw us like that with his mouth…" I stop. She doesn't need to hear the details, and I don't want to give them.
"His mouth where? I really couldn't see," she says, full of curiosity again.
"Christina!" I yelp. "I am not telling you that. I shouldn't have even said anything." I can feel my body temperature rise what seems like 10 degrees so I can only imagine what color my skin is right now. It must resemble an apple freshly picked off an Amity tree in autumn, bright red.
"Fine, I won't bring it up again but let me tell you something. I don't think you'll be a virgin for much longer the way you too looked." I groan ... loudly. "I'm just saying." She's right, but I'll never give her the satisfaction of knowing she's right.
Just then a loud knock echoes through the apartment. Before I let Christina answer the door I say, "Tell anyone, and I mean anyone about what you walked in on, and I will gladly kill you, and you know I can. Understand?" She doesn't seem threatened by me so I remind her of Four, and she immediately agrees. She answers the door expecting one of the six faces who is invited over to get ready for the Christmas party but instead Tori is standing at the door. She ushers her in.
"Hi, Tori," I say while she looks around the apartment at the makeshift salon.
"I brought something for you," she says holding up a package approximately 16 x 20 wrapped in plain brown paper and tied with twine. Excitement bubbles up in me. I wish I could have seen it before it was wrapped but I realize I get to experience what the chasm drawing looks like for the first time right alongside Tobias. That's going to make it that much more special.
"Thank you so much, Tori. You have no idea how much this means to me," I say. "Go ahead and put it under the tree. I think Four has already put a couple boxes under it. I don't know what I would have done without you. It's the only Christmas present I have for him." She walks across the room and gently slides it under the right edge of the huge Christmas tree until it's invisible.
"I'm glad I could pick it up for you. That Amity fellow, Gunner was it?" I nod. "He's quite the character. He showed me some of his sketches. If this is anything like any of those, Four is getting a one of a kind work of art. That's very thoughtful of you, Tris. I better get going so you all can enjoy your afternoon," Tori says.
"What did you get Four," Christina asks.
"I had an Amity artist do a sketch of the chasm," I say to Christina, and then I turn my attention back to Tori. "Thanks again, Tori. We'll talk about the Amity meeting later." She nods at me and walks out of the apartment.
Soon Ciara, Kirsten, Ella, Marlene, Lynn, and Shauna join us, and we spend the rest of the afternoon swept up in the "Christina Experience" and gossip. In between manicures, pedicures, waxing, buffing, and more, we talk about everything from Ivy's death and Hana's assault to the need for different flavors of Dauntless cake on a regular basis in the cafeteria and Christina's baby announcement. Lucky for me, and for her, Christina doesn't say anything about my compromising position with Four that she walked in on earlier. I tell everyone about my stupidity this morning and the doctor putting me back on rigid restrictions. I also tell them about my excursion to the training room for target practice.
"You do seem calmer than you have since your accident," Ciara notes while Christina is rubbing in a honey, brown sugar, and coconut oil body scrub over her nearly naked body. "So all it takes is handling a gun to make you feel better?" Christina snorts a bit, and I glare at her but no one else seems to notice or care about our exchange.
"I figured out in my fear landscape that some of my fears have to do with feeling powerless or out of control, and I remembered the first time I held a gun, power rushing through me unlike anything I've ever felt. Before when I felt like this I would go to the training room and spend hours with either a gun or knife in my hands or I would take out all my aggression on a punching bag. I never even gave it a thought I was missing it, but I was. I'm glad Four figured it out."
"I still can't believe you only have six fears," Lynn mutters while lounging on my couch in her black silk robe, a cucumber mask on her face.
"You only have six fears?" Kirsten says. "I had twice that many."
"She started out with seven but she isn't scared of sex anymore," Christina says. She's coming awfully close to broaching a subject I want left alone, and I turn and glare at her. She just smirks back. Kirsten, Ciara, and Ella all laugh lightly.
"Sex was in your fear landscape?" Ella asks then adds mostly to herself, "I wonder what that was like?"
"Come on, Tris! Tell everyone the story," Marlene says with far too much excitement in her voice.
"Fine. The first time I went through my fear landscape I was totally shocked and unprepared for what I would find. Four was in it. I was scared of having sex with him but didn't understand that at first until he started taking my clothes off. Then I didn't know what to do. I froze. I'd faced down a terrifying flock of crows that were intent on pecking me to death, I'd almost drowned, twice, Peter tied me to a stake in a pile of logs and set me on fire, and I was kidnapped by an endless stream of very creepy faceless men but this, having sex with someone I liked who liked me just as much, terrified me more." I shake my head at the memory. "It made me laugh hysterically. I'm still surprised our old leaders didn't die from laughter in that moment. I told him I wasn't having sex with him in a hallucination, and the fear went away in the simulation. My only greater fear was having to follow orders and kill my family."
"But that fear is totally gone now because you've had sex with Four," Ciara states. I feel a blush rise.
"We haven't yet," I say quietly. This announcement takes everyone but Christina by surprise. "I'm not scared anymore. We're just waiting for the right time but Four's still in my fear landscape. My only fear that changed was my greatest fear. Instead of being ordered to kill my family, now I'm ordered to kill Four. I can't do it of course, I turn the weapon on myself." Ciara, Ella, and Kirsten all stare open-mouthed.
"I said it once before, but all your fears are heavy, except for maybe the crows," Shauna says. "Killer clowns are my greatest fear. I didn't even know what they were until I explained what I was seeing to Zeke, and he clarified what they were. He tells me I must have seen a movie or read a book with them in it at one point in time but I don't remember that. You think you would remember what causes your greatest fear."
Soon everyone is sharing what their greatest fear was in their fear landscape, and the subject of sex has thankfully been dropped, at least for the moment. Ella's greatest fear was fire, Ciara's was being buried alive, Kirsten's was swarms of bees stinging her to death, Marlene's was war with people outside the fence, Lynn's was losing everyone she loves, and Christina's was becoming factionless. I'm surprised that fear doesn't come up more but maybe it does.
At a little after 6 p.m. I'm sitting on the couch in my new outfit waiting for Christina to put the finishing touches on Ciara and Kirsten. I look down at myself and once again admire the dress Christina picked out for me. The halter design is extremely flattering, showing off my long neck. Christina was right, the peekaboo keyhole in the bodice and the fact that it's sleeveless shows just the right amount of skin. The tiered crinoline ruffles are very fun and flirty and keep the dress looking young, and the jeweled neckline and waist give it a sense of elegance. I love my black ballet flats adorned with the same kind of jewels that are on the dress but in a simple floral pattern. This time I did my own makeup in the simple style both Tobias and I like, matching my lip and cheek color to the shade of pink already on my fingers and toes. Christina scrutinized my nails to make sure my polish was in tiptop shape, and I gratefully passed her inspection. I really didn't want to sit through the second Mani/Pedi of the week today. When she took the curlers out, my hair fell in perfect curls all around my head. I argued with her about not doing anything else with it, and I finally won after the other girls expressed their opinions and agreed with me. She did put some deep hold spray gel and touchable stronghold hairspray on my curls to keep the style all night.
Shauna is sitting next to me wearing a black form-fitting, sleeveless, scoop neck dress that has an asymmetrical ruffle at the bottom and plain open toe 4-inch spike heels. Her dark blonde hair is styled like it was at the Dauntless Welcome Party, pulled back in a casual bun at the base of her neck with her long side-swept bangs being held back with the black jewel-encrusted comb Zeke gave her. She's wearing the same bright pink color on her fingers, toes, and lips. The rest of her makeup is very subtle.
Lynn's hair has grown out a bit, and Christina talked her into letting her put little gems here and there throughout the soft spikes of her blonde hair like she wanted to do with mine. It makes the severe haircut Lynn chose for initiation more feminine. Her dress is a tight black sleeveless faux leather tube mini dress that hugs her curves and complements her style. She, too, is wearing 4-inch open toe spike heels just like her sister's but unlike Shauna, Lynn's makeup is darker. She has a deep coral color not only on her fingers, toes, and lips but also on her cheeks and eyes. It would overpower most women's faces but it looks good on her.
Marlene is twirling in front of the mirror in the kitchen. I've never seen a dress like hers before. It's as extravagant as it is simple. It's a strapless dress whose sweetheart neckline hugs the curves of her chest then flares out subtly, but it's the fabric that makes this dress extraordinary to look at. It looks like hundreds of black rosettes have been flattened and sewn together to form the dress. It's quite amazing. She has on plain 3-inch spike heels that don't take away from the beauty of the dress. Her normally straight brown hair is wavy and pulled back off her face in a sparkly black headband. Her makeup is also very natural looking as to not detract from the dress.
Ella is lounging in my extra wide club chair with her feet on the ottoman. Her formfitting, high-neck, long-sleeved dress is black with a dark gray pattern on it that looks like fireworks lighting up a dark starless summer sky. When she turns, the dress is backless to an extreme. She is wearing a pair of open toe dark gray 3-inch heels that will make her tower just that much more over Samuel. Her nails, toes, and lips are all painted the same magenta as his hair. She has her hair styled like it is any other day except for the normally red braids that give a splash of color to her otherwise black mane are magenta, too.
Christina finishes with Kirsten and turns her attention to Ciara. Even though it's making me increasingly uncomfortable, I have a hard time keeping my eyes off of Kirsten's barely there dress. She has a skintight black tube dress that consists of more sheer black fabric than the stretchy black knit that's scarcely covering her breasts and butt. Her short brown hair is styled much like it is on an average day also except Christina has made a few braids at her temple and fastened them loosely with jeweled pins toward the back of her head. Her makeup is daring and unusual. She has royal blue on her fingers, toes, and eyes, and her lips have a lovely shade of red that doesn't detract from the blue. On her feet are flat black sandals that show her blue-painted toenails.
Finally Christina finishes Ciara's hair and excuses herself to the powder room to put her outfit on for the night. She's already done her makeup and hair. Ciara gets off the barstool and replaces Marlene in front of the mirror. She has on a strapless black sequined bodice bubble dress that hits just above her knees. On her feet are a pair of 3-inch black pumps embellished with black sequins very much like her dress. Her long naturally curly blonde hair is pulled back with sparkly pins guiding it over her left shoulder. For this occasion she let her trademark blue streak go back to its natural blonde. She too has very natural-looking makeup on that brings out the beauty of her blue eyes.
When Christina comes out of the powder room, she looks spectacular. She, of course, has a black sleeveless, scoop neck dress on that hits her mid-thigh that has a laser-cut detail on the yolk and hem of the dress. I look closely at the cutouts but can find no pattern. There are squares, rectangles, and triangles mixed together to form a nice look. There's a gentle swing to the fabric of her dress, and when she tightens it around her midsection, she's right, she's already starting to show. Her short hair has grown out slightly since we got to Dauntless. Tonight she's wearing it curly and has sections twisted back and held in place with sparkly pins creating a messy updo effect. Her makeup is basic, accessorized with dark blood red lips, nails, and toes, which are on full display in a pair of 3-inch glossy black strappy sandals that show more skin than they cover.
A knock at the door brings me out of my daze, and Christina goes over and opens it. Tobias is standing on the other side looking very handsome in his black V-neck sweater over a button down dark gray shirt and black and dark gray pinstripe pants. I look closely at his face and realize he has gotten his hair cut but there are still curls touching the collar of his shirt. I smile at him, and he beams back at me. He walks through the door and takes in the appearance of all the girls.
"You all look great tonight, as usual. If you don't mind, I'm going to borrow Tris for a moment," he says. I get off the couch making sure I don't step on my right foot, and before I know it he's swept me up into his arms and is carrying me up the stairs to the sound of snickering. When he gets us to our bedroom, he gently sits me down on the bed.
"What are you doing?" I ask him. He looks at me from the top of my head to the tips of my ballet flats causing heat to rush into my cheeks.
"You look absolutely stunning. That's a really nice dress," he says as he steps forward. I look up at him and once again get lost in his eyes. He runs his fingers through my curls and bends and kisses me gently. He breaks away and goes to the top drawer of the dresser and fishes something out. When he returns to me, he sits down on the bed beside me and nervously turns what looks like a ring box over and over again in his hands and I freeze.