I wake up in a cold sweat and sit straight up in bed. My heart is pounding in my ears. I don't remember the dream. Just a flash, a loud noise and a feeling of terror. I wipe the tears away and try to control my breathing. I look over at Josh. I'm relieved that he's still sleeping.

I take a deep breath in through my nose and blow it out slowly. Nope, my heart is still racing. I try again. In through the nose, one, two, three, four, five, out through the mouth, one, two, three, four, five. I wipe my eyes again.

It's been a while since I had to do this. Almost every night for months after the explosion, sporatically on the campaign trail, not once since November. I think I just spent too much time today thinking about what it was like after Gaza. Okay, one more time. In . . .

"Donna?" Josh mumbles.

. . . Out. I look over at Josh and try to smile, but I'm not very successful, and there are still tears rolling down my cheeks. He sits up.

"What's wrong?" His voice has a slightly panicky tone, which is exactly why I didn't want to wake him up. I take his hand and give it a little squeeze and do the breathing exercise one more time for good measure, hoping that my voice will sound normal when I respond. The breathing tips him off.

"Oh. Nightmare?"

"Yeah."

"When did you start having these again?"

"Tonight."

"Do you want a drink? Do you need some medication?"

"Yes, and no. I should be okay. I don't like to take a pill. I haven't needed any since I've been able to sleep with you." Now I'm able to give him a real smile.

He gets up and goes to the kitchen. A minute later he comes back with a glass of water.

"So what you're saying is that I put you to sleep? I'm boring?" He banters with me. It feels good. I'd rather try to get back to normal than have him coddle me.

I let out a large yawn and he chuckles.

"I swear that wasn't fake."

"C'mere." He says as he climbs back into bed. I take a long drink then snuggle into him. I don't need a sleeping pill. I just need to listen to his heart beating steadily. He runs his hand over my hair and a few minutes later, were both back to sleep.

When I wake up again, I hear the treadmill and CNN. Josh's morning routine is comforting. I know I can lay here if I want to, and if I fall back asleep he'll wake me later. But I've had enough sleep and I don't really want to lay here and worry about what might happen today. I kind of want to get into the office and find out if Ron has any more information. It feels like if we know who the Stalker is, we'll be able to deal with it.

The treadmill stops and a few minutes later, Josh walks into the bedroom. He's kind of gross, dripping sweat, but it's kind of sexy too. It really makes me happy that he's taking care of himself again.

"Oh hey. You're awake early. You okay?"

"Yep. Just done sleeping. You want some company in the shower?"

"Well, yeah." He grins at me.

Later, when I'm blow drying my hair, he wraps his arms around me and gives me another little kiss behind my ear.

"That was a nice way to start the day." He says meeting my eyes in the mirror.

We've just discovered that not every shower encounter has to include actual sex. It's kind of nice just to touch each other, and kiss a little and just be together. I might make more of an effort to get up a little earlier from now on.

"It really was. I love you. We belong together."

We are running ahead of schedule by the time I'm ready. Of course, the one morning we could make a Starbucks run, we've promised Ron that we won't. I walk into the kitchen and find Josh almost done getting the coffee ready to go. The toaster pops up with English Muffins.

"I thought you might be getting sick of bagels." He tells me off-handedly. He's really jumped into this "in charge of breakfast" thing. I think it checks a lot of boxes for him. He gets to be in charge, he gets to take care of me and it's a routine.

Living with him I've discovered he's much more scheduled than I realized. I always assumed that because he let me manage him when we worked together, that he couldn't or wouldn't manage himself. I've found out that it's just not true. If I stop and think about it, it could turn my world upside down. People assumed that I held that office together and that he couldn't function without me, but I'm starting to believe it's just that he didn't want to function without me, and maybe he just let me believe that I was more valuable to him than I really was. I'm not really ready to explore this idea yet. At least now that were married, he's shown me that I'm valuable not for what I can do for him, but for who I am, and how I love him, and how he loves me. That's the only truth I really need to hold on to.

"What?" He says. I must have been staring at him.

"Nothing. I just really, really love you."

"I do make a pretty amazing breakfast." He quips.

Around 1, Karen buzzes. "You've got flowers! Can I bring them in?"

"Yes, please!" I get up as she walks through the door with a small bouquet.

"Where should I set them?"

"Coffee table is fine."

Karen hovers as I open the card.

[I'm not going anywhere.]

"Are they from Josh? They're pretty. Not as big as what he usually sends." She prattles on as I suddenly get a chill. I look at the flowers again. He said he was going to send roses, to match my office. Something's not right here.

"Hold on." I walk over to my desk and dial Josh's number. Margaret answers.

"Josh Ly. . ."

I cut her off. "Margaret, it's me. I need to talk to him. Right. Now."

A few seconds later Josh picks up.

"What's up?"

"Did you send me flowers?"

"No."

"I just got a delivery."

"DON'T TOUCH THEM! CALL RON. I'm on my way."

"Come on." I grab Karen's arm and drag her out of my office.

"Jackie- I just got a flower delivery. The card is not signed. They are not from Josh."

"Did you touch them?"

"I unwrapped them and took the card out of the holder."

"Come with me. You too." She says to Karen. "Run Hazmat protocol- Bulldog's office." Jackie says into her wrist.

"Where are we going? What about the rest of my staff?" I ask as she ushers me out the door. Four agents are running toward us. One follows behind us, one stands at the door, and the other heads into the office. I guess he'll take care of the rest of them.

"We're going to the decontamination unit. We'll follow the protocol until we get the all clear."

When we get to the decontamination unit, we are greeted by a Doctor.

"Are either of you feeling ill?"

"No." We both answer.

"Sneezing, runny nose, headache, itchy eyes? Anything, no matter how minor, I need to know about it."

"No, I'm fine."

"Me, too."

"Okay then, take a through shower, scrub vigorously. Wash your hair. There is a call cord in there. If you feel ill at all, pull the cord."

Well, this day just got a lot more interesting, I think to myself as I wash my hair. Josh is going to freak out. I, however, am relatively calm. I feel fine and there is no reason to think this guy is out to kill me. I'm sure the flowers weren't poisoned.

When I come out of the showers, dressed in my snazzy polyester track suit, Josh is pacing in the waiting room. I'm not surprised to see him. I'm actually only surprised that he didn't join me in the shower.

"Do we owe anyone an apology for the fact that you are in here?"

'What do you mean?"

"I mean, did you have to overpower an agent to gain access to this room?"

"No. Phil was with me. Once he told me that you were here, I just made it absolutely clear that he'd have to shoot me to stop me from joining you. I guess he decided that shooting me would be a conflict with his sworn duty to protect me."

"Thanks, Phil!" I call over to the agent guarding the door.

"You're welcome, Ms. Lyman."

"Do you know where the rest of my staff is?" I ask Josh.

"Yes, they are being held in the next room over. The system did not detect any contaminates in the FLOTUS suite. But agents are evaluating the flowers themselves with a portable unit. If the flowers come back clear, your staff won't have to go through the protocol. But Ron doesn't want them interacting with anyone else until there is an all clear. Since you and Karen touched the flowers, you had to immediately shower, but since you are not showing any symptoms, you can wait before proceeding with any further steps."

Josh stops and looks me all over. "Are you sure you feel okay?"

"Yes, Josh, I'm fine."

He pulls me into his arms and holds me.

"Thank you god." I hear him mumble under his breath.

A couple minutes later, Karen comes out in a matching track suit.

She looks at me and giggles.

"What?"

"I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror, but seeing you, I've got a pretty good idea what I look like."

"Well, I'll pull some strings and make sure you get to take that track suit home as a souvenir."

"Gee, thanks." She laughs. I'm glad she's in a good mood about this. I really did find a good assistant.

We are still giggling as Ron walks in.

"I've got good news. There were no contaminates on the flowers or the card."

"Good. Has someone told my staff?"

"Yes, they've been released to go back to the office."

"Great." I turn to Karen. "You can go too. I should be back in time for our 4 o'clock meeting. If not, we'll go over everything in the morning."

"Okay. Can I change first?"

"Can she, Ron?"

"Yes, of course."

Once Karen leaves the room, Ron pulls a card out of his pocket. "This was the card on the flowers, Donna?"

He shows it to me and I nod.

"May I?" Josh asks, and Ron hands it to him.

"I'm not going anywhere? Come on!"

I feel my eyes get wide as he reads it and I see the shock mirrored in Josh's eyes as well.

"That's what the card on the flowers said before!"

"Alright then." Ron nods. "Here's what happened this morning. At 9am, an investigator visited the offices of The National Interest. The current director informed us that Chris Rhoades has not worked there in about a year. He was let go due to increasingly erratic behavior. He was actually on probation at the time he was contacting you for an interview. He had indicated that he had an exclusive with you, the fact that he did not, combined with other behavior is why he was let go. The director gave us the last known address they had on file for him, which turned out to be his mother's address. We sent an agent over to meet him. He was not home when the agent arrived but he returned to the residence shortly after 11 a.m. When questioned, he admitted that he had contacted you in 2005 seeking an interview. He insisted it was strictly professional and that he had not contacted you since."

"That lying son of a bitch!" Josh is outraged. "Obviously it's him."

"Maybe not."

"Donna? After the flowers and that card?! It's gotta be."

"What do you think, Ron?"

"Well, after the interview was completed. The agent called me and requested permission to take a long lunch and use some personal time."

Ron smiles at Josh. Why is he telling us this? What's that got to do with anything?

"He waited down the block, then followed Mr. Rhoades, who drove to the Thrifty Florist near his house, then drove 20 minutes to the Deanwood Neighborhood library. Mr. Rhoades entered the library at 12:37. At 12:55 he exited the library. At 12:53, Donna received an email from the Deanwood Library."

"What did the email say?" I ask him. His shoulder slump a little.

[Nothing will keep us apart.]