Demi's Point of View.
"So have you been talking to doctors about when you're going to get to bring her home?" Denise asks me. I'm helping her put away some new baby clothes in the nursery that Joe pained and decorated for Joella.
"Um… not really. They said she needs to be in the hospital for at least eight weeks. The only thing that we've talked about is her current health. They say she needs to gain at least two pounds and learn how to properly suck a bottle before they release her. She can maintain her temperature now, which is really good. And they're gonna remove her thumb before she gets to come home. But I'll talk to them about it for sure when me and Joe go back today." I fold some little socks.
"Have you and Joe considered how you're going to reveal her yet?" She hangs up a frilly pink dress.
"Well we've already tweeted pictures of her and stuff…"
"Yes, but I guarantee you that the day you walk out of that hospital with her, magazines will be competing to get the first photoshoot of her. you and Joe are going to be getting offers out your ears."
"What makes you think that?"
"Haven't you picked up a copy of People lately? You and Joe have been all over the covers. Us Weekly… Star…TMZ…"
"Really?"
"Yes, really. I'll bet this house that you and Joe will get some pretty heavy offers."
"I didn't know they do that…"
"Oh yes they do. People offered Kevin and Danielle half a million just to get the first pictures of their wedding. Imagine what they'll do to get the first pictures of JoJo."
"I don't know if I'd want to sell my baby's pictures to a magazine…"
"You won't have to if you don't want to."
"I don't think I will. But I don't know yet."
Denise finishes hanging up her dresses. "Why don't you take some things to her? Like a blanket or a stuffed animal?"
"That's not a bad idea… do you mind if I take some things from in here? All the things that I bought her are in my house…"
"Of course I don't mind… have you talked to your parents lately?"
"No… Dallas told me they don't really want to talk to me. So I guess I can't…" I sigh.
"It'll be okay, Demi. They just need some time. Your mom and dad love you."
"I hope you're right." I clear my throat.
It's quiet now. It's not an awkward quiet, though. It's a nice quiet. A peaceful quiet.
"So… what do you want to take for her?" Denise breaks the silence and grabs a pink and purple diaper bag.
"Um… This blanket. And this stuffed monkey. And maybe this pacifier, just in case she's able to suck on it."
"What about some clothes? She should be big enough to wear some small onesies and booties."
"Good thinking." I grab three different onesies. A green one with a monkey and bananas all over it, a purple one with flowers all over it and a plain pink one. I grab matching booties for her to wear too. I even grab a bow, haha.
"Send me a couple pictures of her when you guys get there. I need some to show Paul."
"I will. Thanks for helping me pack for her, miss Denise."
"No problem."
I leave her nursery and go into Joe's room. I need to get dressed. He should be here shortly to pick me up.
Joe's Point of View.
I've been crying ever since I left the studio. I don't really care that I'm crying, I just am. I feel so bad for what I did.
I really do feel so bad. I never meant to hurt Demi, but I know I did. Why do I have to be so fucking stupid? I can't believe I let Mandy do that. I shouldn't have even been in the booth with her. I should've just said hi to her and left it at that. Now I cheated on her.
I pull into the driveway of my house and sit in my car for a little while longer. I left my brothers and my dad earlier than I was supposed to. I had to leave, because I didn't want to cry in front of them.
I sit in my car and cry myself out. I just feel horrible. I don't know how I'm going to tell Demi about this, but I know that I AM going to tell her.
I wipe my face and sniff hard. I just hope I don't ruin her day.
I go inside the house and go straight up to my room. Demi is busy getting dressed to go see our baby. She looks so beautiful. How did I cheat on that?
Her long brown and blonde hair is straight. I straightened it for her last night. Her face just lights up when she sees me, and it really shouldn't.
"Hi babe!" She exclaims. She runs to me and wraps her arms around my waist, excited that she can see me.
I can't help but smile. She's my everything. When she's in my arms, I feel…. Complete. I wrap my arms around her too and hold her really tight. "Hey gorgeous. I really missed you." I rub her back softly.
"How was work?" She leans back and looks in my eyes.
I lean down and give her a really meaningful kiss. "I have something I need to tell you."
She looks at me some more. "Why were you crying?" She wipes my eyes with her thumbs.
"…I did something, babe. And I'm really sorry. Please don't think I don't love you…"
"Just tell me, babe. How bad can it be?" She rubs my back.
I sniff and wipe my face. I hold her in my arms a little tighter.
"Just tell me…" She says softly.
I grab her from her lower back and pick her up. Naturally, she wraps her legs around my waist. I hold her. "Well… On my lunch break… I went to the bathroom in Studio C. And just as I got there, my ex girlfriend, Mandy came out. So we got to talking and she convinced me to come back to her booth to catch up. Like an idiot, I went with her. She just started coming on to me, babe. And I was just… still ready from this morning. So I didn't stop her until it was too late. She just kept rubbing me and touching me and she went in my boxers and that's when I stopped her. I'm so sorry…" I find myself crying again. I put my face into Demi's chest and just cry. I hope she forgives me.
She doesn't say anything to me. She's quiet for a while.
"…A…All she did was give you a handjob? Is that all?" Demi doesn't sound too upset, but I can hear in her voice that she is.
"Yes… I swear that was all. And it lasted like thirty seconds before I just… stopped her." I sniff and keep crying into her chest.
She doesn't say anything again. But I do feel her bring her hands up and rub my head. She strokes my hair softly and grips it hard once. She doesn't hurt me though. She lets my hair go and goes back to rubbing it.
"Stop crying." She whispers to me.
I sniff into her chest and just keep bawling. I'm a grown man and she's making me cry like this. Only one girl in my life has ever made me sob this hard, and Demi's her.
"I said stop crying. It's okay… I'm not mad."
"…Y…You're not?" I sniff again.
"No. I mean… I'm a little sad, yes. But I'm not mad… I understand. I know that you're… needy. And I can't satisfy you right now. So you needed someone to. And I'm glad you stopped her. I'm not mad…"
"Seriously?" I'm still talking into her boobs. I can't bring myself to lift my head up.
"I'm serious. I'm not mad at you. Just… don't do it again." She says. I can tell she means it.
I love Demi SO much. How isn't she angry with me? I cheated on her. And she understands? I'm so glad she forgives me. I love her so damn much.
I lift my head up from her chest and look at her. "I love you."
"I love you too. Now let's go. I want to see my baby."
I put her down on the ground and stare at her. She's an amazing woman.
All of a sudden, Demi punches me in my abs. It doesn't hurt, because she didn't punch me hard.
"I guess I deserve that." I chuckle.
She smiles back at me. "Okay. Now seriously. Let's go. I wanna go see Lala."
"Lala?"
"Dallas gave her that nickname. I think it's cute. Her name is JoelLA."
We head out the door and we're on our way to the hospital.
Demi's Point of View.
I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a little bit upset about Joe's little slip up in the studio. But I don't really… care.
First of all, it's not like I haven't been cheated on before. Trace used to cheat on me all the time. I've learned not to care about it. Sure, it stings a little bit more since it's Joe, but I'm fine.
Second of all, I'm not really sure if it's cheating. I mean, she gave him a handjob and he stopped her. I don't know if I count a handjob as cheating, fully. At least he had the decency to stop her.
And third of all, I understand that he's really horny. I really understand that. And I can't give him any right now. I can't give him any for another six weeks. I know what it feels like, because when I was pregnant, I was really horny too and he wouldn't touch me. If I had someone rubbing all over my body while I was horny like that, I don't think I'd be able to resist it either.
He just better not do it again.
Anyway, we manage to sneak off to the hospital without the paparazzi knowing. There's nobody in our way going into the hospital, and it's a nice feeling. I just want to see my baby.
It gets a little tedious to do the usual routine. We walk into the hospital, take the elevator up to the seventh floor, check in with the secretary, scrub our hands and scan our bracelets.
I nearly run back to Joella's incubator.
This time, Nancy is sitting in the usual chair reading a different book from last time. There isn't a sheet over Joella's incubator.
"Hi guys. We've been looking forward to you two today." Nancy puts her book down.
"Hi…" I smile so wide and turn my attention to the incubator.
Nancy stands up and starts taking the incubator apart. "You've gotten lots of visitors today, haven't you?" She coos to Joella as she detaches all her wires.
"…She has?" I raise my eyebrow.
"Yep. Grandma came to visit her today. And so did grandpa. And so did Aunt Madison."
I'm about six seconds away from SNAPPING out. "Are they allowed to just do that? They can come visit? Without me knowing?"
"We have lots of family members that come visit babies in our facility."
I know that my face is really red right now. I am LIVID. I'm going to SNAP.
"Demi, calm down… it's alright babe." Joe touches my arm.
"No… it's not alright. They're not even speaking to me, they kicked me out the fucking house but they still bring their asses to come see MY baby?" I'm shaking, I'm so angry.
"Demi CHILL OUT. I'm not joking. You chill out or you're not holding her. Calm down. Calm down at least until we leave." Joe's pulling Joella away from me. He's holding her.
"Joe, give me her." I'll fuck him up too.
"Not until you calm down. You're shaking like a damn dog. You're not holding her until you calm down."
I take a couple deep breaths. He's right. I shouldn't hold her until I calm down. I sit down in the chair to relax.
Nancy hands me a glass of water. I sip some water.
"Now give me my baby." I demand.
Joe leans down and hands her to me. Oh my god, I'm so mad right now.
"Hi princess. Hi my princess." I stroke her hair. I'm so angry right now, but I will NEVER take it out on her.
"Say hi mommy. Say hi mama." Joe smiles and "makes" her say.
Joella moves her head further into my chest and kicks her feet. "Ehhh…"
"How's she been today?" I pull myself together long enough to ask Nancy.
"She's done well. She hasn't eaten much today, so we'd like for you to feed her. She needs a bath today, too. But her eye infection is completely gone. She's doing very, very well."
"Do you have any idea when we'll be able to take her home?" I ask, remembering about Denise.
"With the progress she's making, I'd say that she'll be released in… 2-3 weeks. She's been off the phenorbarbital for a few days now, and the withdrawal symptoms have diminished with her. We'll probably schedule her surgery to have her extra removed within the next week so that we can monitor how she does without it before we release her."
"Sounds good." I smile so big. My baby will be home with me soon.
"So on the schedule for tonight, we'd like for her to take a bath and eat some dinner and go ahead to sleep. Do you think you guys can do that?"
"Sure. I… I brought some things for her that I'd like for her to have. I have a blanket… some clothes… a stuffed animal… a pacifier, if she'll take it…"
"Of course. You can dress her in her new clothes and you can give her the blanky and the stuffed animal. We encourage parents to bring their babies these things. I'll be right back. I'm going to go prep the bathing area for her. I'll come get you guys when it's ready."
"Okay."
Joe leans down beside me and kisses her on her head. "You ready to take a bath? Hmm?"
Joella opens her eyes and blows spit bubbles at me.
"Why are you spitting at me? I didn't do anything." I laugh. I lean down and kiss her slobbery lips.
She giggles a little bit at me and touches my face. "hehhm hehhhm." Her laugh is so cute.
She closes her eyes again and just relaxes on my lap. Joe rubs her hair.
"You still think we should cut her extra thumb off?" I ask Joe.
"…I'd love to keep it. I think it's perfect. But you gotta think about her in the long run. She might not be able to hold a pencil, throw a softball, clap her hands properly… all that stuff. So I think we should…"
"…Yeah. You're probably right." I stroke her extra thumb. She actually lets me touch it.
"Alright, you guys can come on back." Nancy tells us.
Joe grabs the diaper bag and I hold Joella really tight in my arms. We both walk back to the bathing area with Nancy. There's a thick towel on a small table, and on top of the thick towel is a puppy-pad. There's a small tub full of soapy water next to the towel and puppy-pad and there's two washcloths.
"You guys know how to bathe her, right?"
"Yes…" Joe says. He starts undressing Joella and he lays her on the puppy-pad. I think it's adorable how Joella curls her little naked body into a ball.
I grab the longer washcloth and dip it in the tub of water. "How is she going to stay warm without the light?"
"Underneath the puppy-pad, there is a heated towel. So she'll be alright."
I start off by washing her face. She doesn't cry at all, but she swats me away with her hands. She really doesn't like to be messed with. "Nehh… nehhhh…"
"You can't have a dirty face, Lala." I move on from her face to her neck. She's fine with me washing her neck. Joe helps out by washing her arms, legs and belly. I get her armpits real good.
"Did you get her bum?" I ask Joe.
"No. I don't want to touch her privates…"
"Joe, suck it up." I finish off by washing her bum and between her legs. Joella's eyes are wide open and her head is laying to the side, as if she's annoyed by all this.
"Wrap her in her towel then grab her something to wear. I need to wash her hair." I hand Joe a small towel and he does what I ask.
I wash out Joella's fluffy hair. "Are you lookin at mama? Hmmm?" I rub her head in a circular motion, then rinse out the suds. She's all clean.
"Do we got a clean baby?" Joe asks.
"Yes we do." I begin to dry her off. Joe puts a diaper on her.
I carefully dress her in the plain pink onesie that I brought. I put pink booties on her foot too.
"It's time for her to eat." Joe says. He helps me dry off her hair.
Joella is really calm and she's not making a peep anymore.
I let Joe carry her back to her cubicle.
I sit in the chair and get ready to feed her.
This whole parenting thing is really fun. I love spending time with her.
Joe puts her in my arms and I lift my shirt up to feed her. Joella latches onto my breast quickly and she starts sucking hungrily. I smile down at her.
"Mind if I take a picture?" Joe asks me.
"…To put on twitter?"
"…Well… I was thinking you could put it on twitter, but I'll take the picture. You don't tweet about her much."
"…Just make sure you don't get my nipple in the picture. That would be all bad."
He chuckles and positions his phone. He snaps the picture. "There. I'll put it on your twitter. What do you want the caption to be?"
"Here… I'll type it. Just… hold her head still for me." I reach out and grab his phone. He holds Joella's head steady on my breast so that she can keep eating.
I look at the picture first. It's not incriminating. My nipples aren't showing at all. Only Joella's head is seen.
I post the picture on my account and caption it: Mommy & baby bonding time :) I love my baby girl!
"There… are you happy?" I ask Joe. He laughs and nods.
I let him keep holding Joella's head.
When we leave the hospital, I remember that I have some… unfinished business to tend to.
If Joe thought that I was just going to let that go, he is sadly mistaken.
My parents had the AUDACITY to bring their asses in the hospital to see MY daughter. They kicked me out the house, aren't speaking to me, haven't spoken to me in WEEKS, and thought it would be okay to just walk into the hospital and see her?
As soon as we get into the car, I call my mom up. She better answer.
It rings, rings, rings and goes to voicemail.
I call my dad. It rings, rings, rings, goes to voicemail.
"Demi, just let it go. Babe, it's really not worth it. It's not."
"Shut up, Joe." I decide to call Dallas.
It rings twice and she answers. "Yeah Dem?"
"Are you home?"
"Yeah… why?"
"Are mom and dad there?"
"Yep."
"Dallas, go give mom the phone. NOW. Don't tell her who it is. Just give her the phone."
"Demi, what's up?"
"They went to see Joella without me knowing…. Like what the fuck? Just give mom the phone."
"Alrighty. Hold on."
The line is silent, but in the background, I hear my mom's voice. This is not the way I wanted to talk to her for the first time in weeks, but I'll kill someone over my baby. I don't even care if it's my mom. "Who is it, Dallas?" My mom says in the background.
"I don't know… they didn't say. They just asked for you." Dallas says to her.
More silence follows.
"Hello?" My mom says all nicely and stuff. I want to fucking kill my parents.
"Hi mom." I say. Oh, I lay on the sarcasm thick. I am so irritated.
"What do you want?" Her tone turns sour really quick.
"What did you do today, mother?"
She hangs up on me. That's fine.
I reach into my purse. I still have a house key.
"Take me to my house." I'm shaking so bad right now.
"Demi, please calm down."
"JOE TAKE ME TO MY FUCKING HOUSE I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND." I scream at him.
"…Please don't do anything stupid, babe." He makes a right and takes me in the direction of my house.
I can't stop shaking. If I go in that house, I'm going to kill someone.
"Demi, please calm down. Baby girl, calm down…"
"Stay OUT OF IT, Joe." I'm shaking so bad.
Joe parks in front of my house. I get out of the car, slam the door behind me and run up to my front door.
I put the key in the lock, turn it and walk right inside. Fuck knocking. I slam the door to let it be known that I'm here.
Maddie is the first one to realize that it's me. I don't want to associate with her right now, because I CAN'T be nice. She didn't do anything to me, so I don't want to be mean to her, but I CAN'T be nice.
"DEMI! DEMI! DEMI! DEMI'S HOME!" She screams and runs to me.
I storm right past her, heading for the living room. Dallas comes and sees me.
"Dems... what are you doing here?" She wrinkles her eyebrows confused.
"Don't worry about it." I storm past her too and head into the living room. I stand right in front of the TV that both my parents are watching.
"DEMI, GET OUT." My mom starts with me.
"HOW ABOUT NO. THIS IS MY FUCKING HOUSE, I'LL WALK IN HERE IF I WANT TO."
"YOU DON'T PAY ANY FUCKING BILLS IN HERE, DEMETRIA. YOUR HOUSE MY ASS!" My dad starts. His yelling used to intimidate me, but I don't care right now.
"I BOUGHT IT! HOW ABOUT THAT?! I FUCKING BOUGHT IT! AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO! BUT I CAN TELL YOU TWO TO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM JOELLA. YOU DO NOT GO VISIT HER WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE! SHE'S MINE, GOD DAMN IT. SHE'S MINE. YOU HAVE TO ASK ME TO GO VISIT HER! AND IF I DON'T WANT YOU TO, YOU DON'T!"
"YOUR BABY, DEMI? YOUR BABY? WHY DON'T YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR BABY?!" My mom screams so loud at me.
"I DO TAKE CARE OF MY BABY. YES, SHE'S MINE. AND YOU STAY AWAY."
"You do not take care of her, Demetria. Taking care of her means doing what's best for her. Not getting highed up on fucking cocaine." My dad snickers. "Every problem that baby will have will be because of you. What a sorry ass mother you are."
Oh, my god. I'm about to fucking KILL somebody. Everything in this house, I bought. So if I want to destroy something, I can. It takes everything out of me to not kick the damn TV off the stand. "I'M A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MOTHER? OH YEAH? WELL I SNORTED COCAINE THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF MY PREGNANCY, AND I'M STILL A BETTER PARENT THAN THE BOTH OF YOU. I'M A SORRY ASS MOTHER FOR DOING DRUGS? AT LEAST I DIDN'T LET MY SIX YEAR OLD GET RAPED TWENTY FUCKING TIMES BY HER FATHER BEFORE I STOPPED IT, DIANNA." I know that that was a little bit uncalled for, but hey. If we're calling people sorry ass parents, we might as well let it all out. I look at Dallas and apologize to her with a look for bringing it up. I know how much she wants to forget about it. But that doesn't stop me. I keep going. "AND LETS NOT FORGET ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU… LIKE THE FUCKING QUITTER YOU ARE, KICKED YOUR DAUGHTER OUT OF THE HOUSE THAT SHE BOUGHT, EDDIE. WHAT KIND OF PARENT GIVES UP ON THEIR CHILD? DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A SORRY ASS MOTHER BECAUSE I WAS ADDICTED TO A FUCKING DRUG, BECAUSE YOUR SORRY ASS DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK ENOUGH TO GET ME AWAY FROM TRACE. I DON'T CARE HOW MANY TIMES I BEGGED YOU NOT TO CALL THE POLICE ON HIM, ANY KIND OF FATHER WOULD HAVE DONE IT ANYWAY."
Both my parents are silent, and I don't really care if I hurt their feelings.
I throw my house key on the coffee table. I talk quieter now, but still with the same intensity. "I don't care that you kicked me out. I'm happy to be gone." I take one more deep breath.
"But if you don't want to associate with me, you WON'T associate with my daughter either." I walk past them into the hallway again.
Maddie looks at me with tears in her eyes as I leave. I stop beside her. "I'll come pick you up for ice cream in a couple days, kid." I kiss her cheek. She smiles at me.
I stop at Dallas too. "Thanks for being there. We'll go see Joella tomorrow." I give her a hug.
"Stay safe, Dems." She hugs me back.
"I will."
I leave out the house and slam the door behind me. I go back outside to the car.
Joe holds my hand and that really does help calm me down some more.