Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Remus Lupin III

Remus was just minding his own business, trying to find a book that would be a reference to his two feet essay for Charms when his feet bumped on to something and he looked down to find Hermione Granger sitting on the floor with her back against the bookshelf, her feet stretched out across the floor with her ankles crossed, and with a book on her lap.

Remus' eyebrows rose in surprise before it knitted in confusion. He hesitated for a moment, not knowing what to say. They still hadn't talked since the werewolf incident and she broke down in front of them and apologised. Remus didn't know what to do; he had never encountered someone outside of his friends who accepted him for what he was. He didn't know where he stood with her. What if she was lying? What if she changed her mind and told the next person who listened? Remus dreaded those days to come.

"Remus," Hermione said, her brown eyes wide in surprise.

"Hermione?" He said hesitantly. "What are you doing down there?"

"Shhh!" Hermione shushed before darting her gaze around. "Don't say my name."

"Err, why?"

Hermione groaned and tugged at her gold chain. "I'm hiding."

Remus' eyebrows rose even further. "From who?"

"From James!"

Remus blinked. "Uhm, why are you hiding from him?"

Hermione looked uncomfortable. "It's just that... Ever since we got back together, he's, well, he's more possessive than usual." Her cheeks were red as she scowled. "He.. He doesn't let me out of his sight. He is always following me and it's maddening!"

Remus smiled sympathetically. He knew what she was talking about. Ever since they got back together — there was really no official breakup — James had become extra possessive, always following her around, constantly and actively trying to get her attention, and glaring at anyone who looked at Hermione. Just the other day, he had growled at Sirius because he had, in James' own opinion, made her laugh too hard.

It seemed that James' behaviour was beginning to drive Hermione up against the wall. Remus knew not to pressure her since this was her first, ever, romantic relationship with someone and she had no clue and no past experience to give her insights. She must've probably chosen to hide because it was the only solution she could think of. This behaviour of James must've made her so uncomfortable and frustrated.

"Have you mentioned to James about this?" Remus asked gently. She looked like she needed a friend to listen to her and to give her an advice. Remus, despite being unsure in her presence, was willing to help.

Hermione worried her bottom lip. "I haven't talked to him yet. Actually, I'm scared to point it out to him. It's like, he's afraid that I'm going away, that he's going to lose me, and I don't want to feed on to his fear by saying that his behaviour is making me feel insane. When we reconnected, I thought that things would be back to normal, you know? That's why I was so confused when he started snapping at boys who tried to approach me and it's frustrating me because it feels like he was taking away my voice, my free will, whenever he does that. Don't get me wrong, I really missed James and I really like him but right now? I want him to be as far away from me as possible."

Remus smiled kindly and sat on the floor across from her. He froze when he heard something but when he saw no one, he turned his attention to the bushy haired girl in front of him. "Hermione, I think James would understand if you're frustrated with him. I mean, even Sirius is ranting that he's becoming unbearable. James... James was very afraid that night, from what they told me. You're probably right when you said that he was scared to lose you but that shouldn't excuse his behaviour. Look, the best solution to your problem is talking to him about it. You should work this out before you start resenting his actions."

"But what if he doesn't understand?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Then make him understand," Remus told her. "Tell him that his actions are making you upset, that it feels like he's taking away your free will from you, that it's making you uncomfortable. Then, reassure him that he's not going to lose you, and that you missed him and you just want things to go back to the way it used to. Don't stop talking until he finally understands that you just want things to go back to normal, and that you don't want him to become possessive over you. There's really no point in hiding, Hermione, and making the problem bigger by ignoring it."

"You're right." Hermione chuckled. "I just... I don't know what to do when it comes to James. He's so intense sometimes and in a way that it's consuming, you know? He has this ability to make you feel that you're the centre of his universe, that nothing else matters but you and him. It makes second guess my actions, you know? I... I don't want to lose him."

"You're not going to, Hermione," Remus reassured her. "And believe it or not, you are the centre of his universe. For him, you're the sun and he's the planet that revolves around you."

"See? And that's what scares me the most." She looked down at her book, looking quite upset. "He thinks so highly of me and I'm scared that if I'd make one wrong move, he'd realise that I'm just this normal, perfectly ordinary witch, who isn't worth his time. I mean, he's so amazing and fantastic. Any girl is willing to fall to their feet just for him and I sometimes worry that I'm not enough, that he's going to leave me because I have nothing to offer him. I mean, look at me."

"I am and you're beautiful."

Remus and Hermione startled at the new familiar voice that had joined their intense conversation. They both looked at each other and then looked around their little hidden area, seeing that they were completely alone. But then the wall beside Hermione made a sound and, inch by inch, James revealed himself to them with a sheepish smile on his face as he folded his Invisibility Cloak over his arm.

"Err, surprise?" James said, shuffling his shoes which Remus recognised the sound earlier when he sat.

"James!" Hermione exclaimed, gawking at him. "Did... Did you...? Wait, is that an Invisibility Cloak? James Charlus Potter, were you spying on me?!"

James recoiled back at her outburst. "I'm sorry!" He said, shifting his feet. "Yes, it's an Invisibility Cloak that I inherited from my dad. I, uhm, I knew that you were avoiding me so I followed you with the Cloak when you weren't looking."

Remus rubbed his face with his palms as Hermione grew steadily angry at his friend. Right now, he didn't know whether to pity James or to hit him. He had taken borderline stalker obsession to a whole new level. Even he wasn't this bad when it came to Lily. But, then again, Lily never became his girlfriend and she hadn't been almost mauled by a werewolf.

"James Charlus Potter!" Hermione jumped up to her feet and jabbed a finger to his chest. "How could you! You can't just violate my privacy just because I was ignoring you and trying to figure out what to do with this new, unacceptable behaviour of yours! I can't believe you would do such a thing!"

"I thought it was a brilliant idea," James muttered apologetically, shrugging his shoulders.

"Brilliant idea?!" She cried in outrage. "What makes you think that it is, huh?! This... This is getting out of hand, James! I have tolerated you acting like a rabid dog that needs to be put down but this is an invasion of privacy! Tell me, James. What is going on with you?"

James looked away, eyes shuttered. "I'm sorry. I just... I didn't want you out of my sight. Ever since I saw you that night at the Shrieking Shack, I can't forget about it. It's there, at the back of my head, always haunting me. I... I can't sleep. I have nightmares about it, Hermione. Because you're right. I was and still afraid that you'll be taken away from me so I thought that following you around can lessen that fear, you know?"

Remus looked away from them as Hermione's face softened and she moved closer to James. He wanted to leave but for some unfathomable reason, his feet stayed rooted on the spot. He felt guilty knowing that James was afraid because of Hermione's encounter with Moony. His friends had insisted that it was all Snape's fault but that didn't mean that he was the only person to blame.

"Oh, James," Remus heard Hermione saying to him, "why didn't you tell me in the first place?"

"Well, why didn't you tell me that you were upset about this new behaviour of mine?"

"Well, because, I have to think about it first." She suddenly laughed. "I'm always thinking, I guess. I have to organise my thoughts about what to make of your behaviour and what to say to you about it. I was also desperate to have a time for myself." She clicked her tongue. "I just didn't think you'd own an Invisibility Cloak and still follow me around, without me knowing about it. Really, James?"

"Okay, so maybe that wasn't one of my most brilliant ideas, but you got to admit, if I haven't followed you, I wouldn't have known that you were baring your heart out to Remus."

"James," Hermione said, probably giving him a warning look.

"Oh, alright. It was a bad idea," James conceded.

"Yes, it was. Please don't do it again. I don't want to walk around alone and look constantly over my shoulder because I think that you're following me, alright?"

"I won't do it again," James sighed.

"As for this fear of yours, I get what you mean, James. I still have nightmares about you getting hit by a ball and falling off from your broom. I still think about it sometimes but what happened had happened and we can't do anything to change it. We can only move forward and move on. I'm sorry if I had made you feel this way and I'm sorry if I don't know how to make you feel better. But, know at least that, I'll always be here for you, James. Even if we breakup, because we have to be realistic, I'll always be here."

They were silent for a moment. Remus glanced at them and found them hugging. He quickly busied himself; taking a book from the shelf in front of him and skimming through it.

"I'm sorry for making you mad with my actions," James said, his voice muffled by her hair. "I didn't mean to act like a prat to you. I'll... I'll stop following you everywhere and I won't spy on you using the Cloak. I'll try to get rid of this irrational fear of mine. I don't want you to get upset with me."

"I didn't mind when you were a bit clingy and touchy with me. It was... a bit nice," she said, sounding embarrassed. "However I have to put my foot down when you started glaring at the boys who try to talk to me. I don't want you being possessive over me when you don't have to be. I am yours and you are mine, remember?"

"I do, I do. I'm sorry." A pause. "I'm glad we have this talk."

"I'm glad that Remus talked to me. Speaking of Remus..."

The werewolf turned to them with a slight smile on his scarred face. Thankfully, they had let go of each other although James kept an arm around Hermione's waist.

"Moony!" James exclaimed. "You're still there?"

Remus shrugged. "Someone has got to take watch. Madame Pince might come here if she heard you two."

Hermione blushed. "Thank you, Remus."

"You're welcome, Hermione." Remus eyed the both of them. "So, are you two okay now?"

Hermione and James looked at each other and turned to Remus.

"Yes." Hermione nodded, smiling. "We're okay now. How about you? Are you okay?"

Remus hesitated. Despite his foggy memories about that night, he remembered the horror he felt when Sirius had told him the events that had transpired that evening. It had sickened him, the way he hunted his friend like she was a rabbit and he was a fox. The moment he saw her lying in the cot, guilt had marred through his entire being. It had felt so real now that he saw the state she was in. All the reassurances that they told him fell on deaf ears. He had spent many years thinking he was a monster and that night just proved to him that he was, no matter how many times they said that he wasn't.

Hermione told him that he shouldn't let himself think that he was nothing more than a mindless dark creature. This coming from the girl who had been attacked by the same werewolf she was trying to reassure. Hermione was a good person and Remus desperately wanted to believe her.

"I will be," he replied after a long moment of silence.

Hermione stared at him, looking as though she could see through what he was thinking. Remus honestly thought she could when she said, "Becoming Moony once in a whilst doesn't make you a bad person, you know."

"H-huh?" Remus stammered, surprised by her statement.

"You're not a bad person, Remus," Hermione repeated. "I'm not blaming you for what happened so please start forgiving yourself. Let's just be thankful that nothing bad had happened that night. Alright?"

Remus stared at her smile that had slowly warmed his chest. He was afraid to trust her, to trust her words, but he still found himself doing so. Hermione had a way with words, of making you feel things that you didn't want to feel. She did manage to make Sirius listen to her from time to time after all. Remus was not an exception. He exhaled heavily before nodding at her.

"Alright," he conceded.

It would be hard and it would take a very long time but he was willing to start. She was right after all. They could only go on now that it happened. Hermione beamed and James looked as though he was proud at him. Remus smiled at them. If they were there by his side, maybe he would finally stop seeing himself as a monster. Maybe, he would finally see himself as a man, as a person. As a good person, just like what Hermione had said. Only time would tell.