A/N: thanks to all of you for your patience, both voluntary and involuntary. I hope this is worth the wait.
The next day Rachel arrived at the Dayton airport just after noon. As she headed down the escalator to the arrivals area, she wondered again how long she was going to need to spend with her dads before she could see Finn. Of course she'd missed her dads very much, even though they'd visited her recently, so she felt guilty that all she really wanted to do was ditch them, but every moment more before she could reunite with Finn was an agony, mixed hope and worry and anticipation. How would he be? He said he remembered everything, and he'd deliberately picked two very key moments to tell her that he remembered. She was so happy about that, and she was sure today's journey had been much easier than if they hadn't talked last night. But would their connection still be there just as it had been before? Despite the interruption and all that each of them had been through?
As she looked down to the waiting people as they came into view from their feet up, she saw at the front a pair of long male legs in jeans, the hem of a plaid shirt, and the bottom of what looked like a McKinley High letterman jacket. Finn. Holding her coat and carry-on made it difficult for her to weave through the people below her quickly, but she gave it all she could. She barely saw the single pink tulip he held or the 'I heart NY' shirt under the plaid; she was too dazzled by the wide welcoming smile that suffused his face when he spotted her. Once away from the escalator she ran to him, dropped her things and sprang into his opening arms.
Finn, for his part, had been waiting for a while. He'd arrived early and then found out that her flight was running late, and finally that it had arrived but was waiting for airport personnel to operate the gate. If it wasn't one thing, it was another, and he groaned at each new delay. But he stayed at the front of the arrivals area, his eyes always darting back to the screen that showed her flight had landed.
Then sudden movement beneath and behind the screen drew his attention, the slow flow of people coming down the arrivals escalator disturbed by someone hurrying, someone small, insistently surging down through the crowd... Rach, God, it's her, and she's seen me already... Finn's heart soared joyfully to see her, even more to know she was coming straight to him, and right then nothing mattered except that she was finally here with him again. He opened his arms to her, bending down to wrap them around her and lift her up on her toes as she crashed against him, everything inside him finally feeling completely right again because he had her.
They held each other tightly for a few moments. Then Finn pulled back to look deeply into her eyes. Rachel's knees went weak as she saw the love there, felt his hand cup her cheek, and finally felt his lips against hers. The kiss started softly but deepened quickly, and his tongue caressed hers until they were both breathless. She almost collapsed at the feel of his tongue sliding over hers, slowly, deliberately, not the instinctual passion that he'd shown in those two heated kisses during the summer but instead the kiss of a man who not only knew how best to kiss her but knew that he knew, and felt passion and joy and wonder in their kiss. Her Finn. She clutched his shoulders, needing the support, wanting to pull him ever closer.
Eventually she lowered to her feet, and Finn sank his head over her shoulder. "I love you, Rach," he whispered, his voice tight with emotion. "I really do. I remember so much but I feel it too. So completely."
"I love you too," Rachel choked out, her tears flowing in happiness. "Oh Finn, I've missed you so."
They stood there for a few moments more, then broke apart. "I got you this," Finn said a little awkwardly, handing her the tulip.
Rachel smiled. "My favorite."
"I know." Finn grinned. "Welcome back."
"You too." She pulled him down to her again, running her hands up his back, feeling the wonderful Finn-ness of him, his strong shoulders, up to the hair that curled a little at the back of his neck. She buried her head into his lowered shoulder and inhaled, breathing him in. The long-tied knot loosened inside her and she started to cry again, her body wracked by sobs as she let out the sorrow she'd been holding in for so long in order to survive.
Finn held her tightly, his hands soothing on her back. "It's all right, let it out, I've got you," his voice came quietly in her ear. He was crying too. "It's over. I love you."
They stood like that for a while even after Rachel's sobs subsided, attracting a little attention, even a woman who asked them if they were okay. They nodded, unwilling to break apart, each of them just feeling the other and glad at how very right it was to hold each other, to feel together.
"So you remember everything?" Rachel asked softly, her head still buried in his shoulder.
"Yes," Finn answered, swallowing back his own happy tears. "As far as I can tell. Everything important, anyway, it's not like my memory was perfect to begin with."
Rachel chuckled at this, and finally settled back on her heels, looking up at him. "Not your memory, no," she said.
Finn almost teared up again at her implication, but he settled for wiping away hers, tenderly touching her face and enjoying being able to take care of her again.
"How do I look?" she said as he finished, giving him a bright smile.
"Like an angel," Finn answered. He smiled. "Like a star. Like Rachel Berry, the love of my life."
She rose to kiss him again, less urgently this time. Then she bent to get her things, quickly putting her coat on and picking up her shoulder bag. "We should go," she said, evading Finn's attempts to take her bag for her. "You can get my case if you like," she explained, taking his hand, their fingers interlacing as always. "I brought the red one."
"The one you had at Nationals?"
"That's the one," Rachel said, walking close to him as they threaded their way through the arrival crowds to the luggage carousel. "So, I take it my dads didn't come after all."
"No, I told them I was coming, and they decided there wasn't much point in them coming too," Finn explained. "Like your surprise?"
"I love my surprise." Rachel kept smiling as she watched Finn retrieve her case. The gold star marking one corner did tend to give it away, but it was just good to see him so normal about it.
They took her luggage out to Kurt's Navigator in the parkade, hands interlaced again as they went.
Rachel could hardly stand to lose his touch when he loaded her case into the back, but thrilled again as he lifted her up into the front passenger seat, stealing a kiss as he did so.
"I'm impressed that Kurt lent you his baby," Rachel said as Finn started the engine. "Even though he's had it for a while, he's still protective."
"Yeah, well, I haven't replaced the old truck yet," Finn explained. "There are some spare vehicles around home, and Kurt's been nice enough to let me use this from time to time, though I was surprised when he suggested I take it today, since he's home. But it is the best one for the trip." Finn stopped at the exit to pay for the parking, then turned onto the highway.
They drove on for a little while, happy just to be together. Then Finn spoke.
"Only problem with just having us for this drive is I have to keep my eyes on the road," he said with a self-conscious smile. He gave her a glance. "I just want to look at you. But we'll be home soon."
"Where are you taking me?" Rachel asked.
"Back to your place," Finn said. "I convinced your dads to clear out and let us have some time alone so we can talk."
Rachel made a happy sound, which won her another look and smile from Finn.
"Quite a difference from last year, huh?" he joked.
"The things you'll go through to get my dads to leave us alone together," Rachel replied. She was so happy she felt she was about to burst.
"Yeah, the worst long con in history." Finn drove on a little further, then took an exit to a gas station. "Need to refuel," he commented.
"But it says you're at three-quarters," Rachel said as they pulled into the gas station and stopped. Finn snapped his seat belt off and turned to her.
"I don't mean the Nav." He moved to her, his strong arm encircling her shoulders, and he crashed his lips on hers. She returned the kiss passionately, and they spent the next few minutes making out. They parted after a while, Finn settling back in his seat. "This trip's going to take much longer than usual," he said with a grin, restarting the engine.
Finn turned back onto the highway and got up to speed. "Tell me about New York," he prompted. "Tell me anything, everything. I just want to hear your voice."
"I could sing," Rachel suggested.
"Not if you want me to stay out of the ditch," Finn said. Rachel cringed, remembering the accident. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he apologized. "Just that I probably wouldn't be able to concentrate, your singing always does something to me. It always has, and even with those songs you sent I've really missed it."
"Okay. It's just – it was along from here, where it happened," she explained. "I almost decided to fly into Toledo just to avoid this road. Well... New York. It's different living there, different than when we visited. Overwhelming but after a while I could start really getting a feel for the city, the places I went anyway. It's so alive – it helped distract me a bit."
"That's good." Finn swallowed and stared at the road. "I mean, I wouldn't have held it against you if you'd gone on with your life," he said.
"No, nothing like that," Rachel protested.
"I know. But if you had, I'd like to think that I would have understood." He snorted. "For the half a second before I went all in to fight to get you back again."
"You're the only man for me, Finn."
Finn reached over and touched her knee. "And you're the only one for me. Woman, I mean. The only anyone. And I'm sorry I couldn't let you know how things were with me, I didn't want to disrupt anything, I had the breakthrough eleven days ago and you had so much else to do. Plus I couldn't feel completely sure of me until you were here."
"Oh Finn, do you really think any of that matters, now?" She gave him a passionate look, which he returned very briefly before looking back at the road. "And I understand that you needed to be sure. I'm so happy, I don't care how it happened, just that it did."
"Me too, Rach." Finn exhaled. "So... New York. How did your term go at NYADA?"
Rachel talked for a while about school, how intimidated she'd felt, but also how well her term-end show had gone and a bit about some of the friends she'd made. "It was actually quite an honor, as a freshman, to be in the show," she said. "And I thought they'd be more cutthroat but they were really quite nice. Competitive, but nice. And word did get around about you, I tried to hold it in for a while but eventually I couldn't. It won me a lot of sympathy points, though that wasn't my intention."
"Oh yeah?"
"I made some wonderful friends, and I had quite a protective circle eventually. It really helped."
"That's good," Finn commented. "I'm glad they were there for you when I couldn't be."
Rachel touched his arm lightly, not wanting to distract him too much. "Kurt told me some things about how hard you worked on getting your memories back, Finn," she said. "I know you fought for yourself and for us with all you had. And you won, I'm so proud of you. In awe, really, and so, so thankful. For you."
"I had a lot worth fighting for. Everything." Finn glanced at Rachel, and he started to choke up a little at the look of wonder and love she was giving him. "We need another break," he said huskily, feeling unable to say much more, simply soaking up the love that Rachel radiated. But no exit came for a while, and the ease they had in driving quietly together was broken when they came over a rise and Rachel shuddered and turned her head inward, her eyes closed.
"That was where, huh?" Finn asked softly.
Rachel nodded. "Yes."
"Made it this time."
She smiled, but she was still tense, so Finn turned on his iPod. He tried to think of something to relax her and tell her how much she meant to him, even when he hadn't remembered her that much. How she'd saved him and helped him save himself. "Here's a song I sang for you last week," he said. "Of course you didn't hear it then, but it was what I wanted to say to you, so... here it is now." He started it playing, kept his eye on the limited traffic, and sang along once the vocals kicked in: (*)
I've been down, I've been beat
I've been so tired that I could not speak
I've been so lost that I could not see
I wanted things that were out of reach
Then I found you and you helped me through
Yeah you showed me what to do
And that's why I'm comin' back to you... yeah
Rachel smiled to see him drum a little on the steering wheel, Finn being Finn, her happiness bubbling up at the sound of his voice. Hearing the words, she could tell he meant them, that she had inspired his fight to regain himself.
He glanced at her, giving her a heartfelt smile as he segued into the chorus, with an extra flash of grin on 'star'.
Like a star that guides a ship across the ocean
That's how your love will take me home back to you
And if I wish upon that star, someday I'll be where you are
And I know that day is coming soon, yeah, I'm coming back to you
The next exit finally came up and Finn pulled them off, making for the parking lot at the first gas station.
You've been alone, but you did not show it
You've been in pain, but I did not know it
Let me do what I needed to, you were there when I needed you
Finn put the Nav into park but kept the engine on, letting the music play, looking intensely at Rachel as he sang. He took her hand tenderly in his, meeting her eyes with sincerity. She was crying again, but smiling through it.
Mighta let you down, mighta messed you around
But you never changed your point of view
And that's why I'm comin' back to you... yeah
Like a star that guides a ship across the ocean
That's how your love will take me home back to you
And if I wish upon that star, someday I'll be where you are
And I know that day is coming soon, yeah, I'm coming back to you
Rachel released her belt and surged at Finn, embracing him passionately. The song continued to repeat the last few lines, but Finn's singing stopped, his mouth otherwise occupied with hers.
They made out for a while, eventually interrupted by a knock on the window from someone who turned out to be the highway patrol. The officer at first suggested that they move on, then took a closer look and contradicted himself.
"Never mind," the man said. "Good to see you lively. Merry Christmas." He moved off, leaving Rachel blushing and Finn puzzled.
"Does he know about us?" Finn asked her. "I know it made the papers at first, especially with Burt being a congressman, but the attention died off pretty quickly, I wouldn't have thought people would recognize us at this point."
"He's local patrol, he attended the accident," Rachel explained. "Though I still wouldn't have thought we'd made that much of an impression."
"He must have a good memory," Finn commented, then laughed at himself. "Easy to laugh about it now, I guess," he said wryly, then sighed, pulling Rachel close again. "You're so strong, babe," he said. "If it had been you, not me – I'd've been a wreck. And I don't know how you managed to live with not being able to do this for so long."
"I didn't," she murmured. "I survived, because I had to. But it wasn't living, not without you."
"God, Rach..." he leaned in for another kiss, brief but no less passionate, before hitting the road again.
They managed to make it back to Lima before needing yet another break, and Finn pulled into the drive at the Berry house. "They lent me a key," he explained as he opened the door and brought Rachel's luggage inside. They shed their coats and boots and then ascended to Rachel's room. Finn put her case in the corner, then turned back to her.
Rachel smiled up at him. "So why did I need to keep my hair down last night?" She asked. "I did, but you said you'd tell me today."
Finn smiled, then reached out to stroke her hair, carefully moving it aside. "Just wanting to keep everyone away from my spot," he said softly, lowering his head to kiss her neck, once more finding that exact place that drove Rachel crazy. This time his lips moved deliberately rather than by instinct.
"Oh..." Rachel moaned and clutched at him for support as her knees started to buckle. Finn chuckled and held her tightly.
"Now I feel like I'm really back," he murmured, pulling back to look into her eyes as she settled back onto her feet.
Rachel reached up to stroke Finn's face. "Thank you for coming back to me," she said softly, almost overcome with emotion. "I didn't think it was possible to be more in love with you than I was before, but right now –" she found herself unable to continue, and instead pulled him down for a kiss. Finn's arms settled around her.
"'I just can't stop loving you'," Finn said, quoting the song they'd sung together when she'd accepted his proposal. "I never did stop. It was always there, even when I didn't know it."
"I know."
"You even told me as much," Finn admitted. "That made a big difference to me." He exhaled, his arms still around Rachel. "Do you need to eat?"
"Not right now," Rachel said. "You?"
"Not really." Finn caught Rachel's skeptical look. "Hey, I don't need to eat all the time," he protested. "Other things are more important right now."
"Such as?" Rachel smiled.
"I'm a bit tired," Finn said. "You must be too, cast party last night then at the airport early. And all I really want to do is hold you in my arms and never let you go, so how about a nap?"
Sleep with his arms around me again? Oh yes, Rachel thought. "A nap would be wonderful."
They lay down together on Rachel's made bed, but Finn jumped up quickly. "I left something here this morning," he explained, going to her closet and bringing out a quilt – his plaid quilt that they'd used when they'd first made love by the fire. Rachel recognized it and smiled at the endearing touch of shared memories. He spread it over her, then shed his outer shirt and slipped under the quilt to put his arms around her.
"Where is everyone, anyway?" she asked, snuggling into him, feeling so very happy in his embrace. Now I'm home.
"They're at our place," Finn answered. "We can go over later, when we're good and ready."
"So next week sometime then."
"Something like that. I should call them though." Finn pulled his phone out and called his mother. "Hi Mom, we're at Rachel's. Just going to have a nap and then catch up some more." Pause. "And what? And it's wonderful, Mom. And real, definitely real. Can't describe it. Can't quite believe it either." Pause. "I'll put her on." Finn passed Rachel the phone. "My mom wants to know how you are," he explained.
"Hi Carole," Rachel said cheerily. "I'm... Finn's right, there are no words. Beyond happy. You understand, I think." Pause. "Yes, we should be there for dinner, he'll have to eat, some things never change. Love to all of you too."
Finn took the phone as Rachel passed it back. "Love you too Mom, bye." He hung up and put the phone on the nightstand, then pulled Rachel into him again, more tightly than before. "And I love you Rach," he murmured into her hair.
"Love you too, my Finn." She lay curled into him, pressing her head to his chest, wanting nothing more than to drift off to sleep to the sound of his heartbeat.
"Always." And they dozed off, closely entwined together.
About an hour later Finn awoke, feeling Rachel stir in his arms. He kissed her temple. "Sleep well?" he asked.
Rachel stretched a little, smiling contentedly. "Mmm-hmm. Best since..." she trailed off, flashing a meaningful smile.
"Since July," Finn finished for her, smiling. "Me too. Even when I didn't remember you, I always knew I was missing something." He stroked her hair, and tilted her chin up so she met his eyes. "Thank you."
"What for?"
"You. Loving me. Letting me love you." He smiled. "Being so wonderful and right for me that you make me love you, actually." She gave him an affectionate yet quizzical look. "It was memories of you that did it," Finn explained quietly. "There were a few that came back a bit, a performance, then a whole lot of fragments, but nothing really held together much until I got that song from you. I sang 'Don't Stop' with you and I got a whole month, all of it, fitting right into the stuff I had from before, everything up to Quinn telling me she was pregnant."
Rachel blushed. "Our kiss?"
"Yes." He smiled at her. "You know I was already falling in love with you by then, right?"
"I know. I didn't then, but I did later. And I already knew how I felt about you."
"You're smarter. But it was like that song was tied to all of that block of memories, everything about us first connecting, until Quinn got in the way." He shifted to sit up a little, pulling her in so he could give her a light kiss. "Singing it with you on that recording got me to remember that first time we sang it, when Mr. Schue decided not to leave, and the rest of that month came with it."
"And then?"
"Then I couldn't wait for more." He cupped her cheek, sinking his gaze into hers. "I needed more, to remember as much as I could, and you'd shown me how, I had to remember key moments with you. And I did, I managed to bring back something really significant, by kind of reconstructing the things that happened before it. And one memory led to the next, and the next... all about you." He reached up to gently stroke her hair away from her forehead. "And then, well, I don't know if there's really been many days in all the time I'd lost where I didn't think about you in one way or another, everything else came back too. So thank you, for being you. For bringing my life back to me. I wouldn't be me without you."
Rachel moved into him and kissed him, feeling him kiss her back, and she'd been wrong to hope that their connection would be the same, because this was so much stronger. She felt like her heart was about to explode, unable to contain all the love she felt.
"What was it?" she asked eventually.
"The memory?" Finn reddened. "It was us, our first time together. I'd had a flash of it for a long time, ever since you wore that dress again for the fair, really, but I didn't know if it was real or not. I found out when it was, good thing Puck's kind of nosy about things like that, and I did my best to relive the stuff that happened earlier that day so I could find my way back into the memory."
"Oh, Finn." Rachel pulled back to look at him, her eyes glistening. "You did that, for us? That day, that was one of the worst times for you, your dreams falling apart, you felt so down on yourself. And you put yourself through that again?" She stroked his face, looking at him with such love.
Finn met her gaze, and smiled a little. "Well I didn't know it was going to have me feel so crappy when I started it," he admitted. He swallowed. "But it was worth it the first time, and it was worth it again. You're worth it." And they kissed again, no telling which of them moved first.
"It's a very good thing you made sure it was so special, that night," Rachel whispered.
"Mmm-hmm..." Finn continued to kiss her, their passion escalating.
Rachel sucked on Finn's lower lip, causing him to groan. "I think it's time to make some new memories," she murmured, a little shy.
Finn smiled, then caressed her cheek. "Are you sure?"
Rachel gave him a small moue. "You don't have to ask me if I'm sure to convince me that you're really back, Finn."
He laughed, wrapping his arms around her exuberantly and rolling them over so he was above her, his whole face shining down at her with love. "I love you," he said softly, starting to caress her through her dress, lowering his head to hers for a soft slow kiss.
They made love joyously, passionately, urgently, every touch more exquisite than ever.
* "Back to You", as performed by Bryan Adams, written by Bryan Adams and Eliot Kennedy.
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