James Gordon is gonna get you killed one day.
Barnes' words rang in Harvey's ears and he decided another shot would do the trick. Hell, maybe four more just in case. He was feeling things again, now that he had time to focus on anything aside from acting Captain. The nightmares were back and no amount of alcohol or pills could change that fact. Jim's emptiness was evident and it killed Harvey knowing what this job did to the white knight – what it'd done to him. He'd told him: no heroes. Hadn't he? Hadn't Dix told him the same thing? Had he listened? No. But he'd been hopeful that Jim would.
And here they were with a bottle between them and nothing but silence to fill the void they'd come to know.
How long had it been since he let Lizzy down? He was counting the months back in his head, staring at the bar mirror, trying to ignore the memories of what it felt like to have her body in his arms. What it felt like to fill the lonely and the ache of the empty. He let his mind wander once in a while; like picking an old wound. Like reminding himself of his mistakes could somehow bring her back to him. He'd lost count, he'd realized, and that made him feel like he was letting her down again. He was moving on. He was working and still breathing and forgetting how long it'd been since her death. How could he? He used to keep a tally of the days next to his calendar but lately he'd been too busy to take note.
It was as if Jim could read his expression and he moved his hand on the bar to pat Harvey's fist gently. Silent support as the two downed more beers. If Jim hadn't been there all this time, Harvey wouldn't have been able to handle it.
"I'm okay, brother," he managed over the noise.
Something caught his eye in the mirror. The corner booth of the bar. He felt like he was falling but he wasn't drunk enough yet. Another shot for good measure and he could feel her hands on him, fingers splayed across his bicep.
"Captain, fancy seeing you here."
Author's Note: Well, after a lot of thought I've decided to make Dark Times a full-out sequel. Just wanted to give y'all a little taste of what's coming. Familiar faces. Remember: this is Gotham after all. ;)
You can find the link to Dark Times on my profile: it's posted and three chapters in so far.