Chapter 36
When Kayla came too in the morning, the first thing which she found was she was so embarrassed by the day before she just wanted the world to swallow her whole. If she spent all day in bed and did not get up once then that was going to be just fine by her.
In the beginning it seemed as if it was going to be fine by Steve as well for he made no great attempt to get her up but rather just lay with her for a while and let her shut her eyes and rest in his arms. Truly that was all she wanted to do he kissed her forehead and played with her hair and it was all just blissful balm to her wounds.
But it was not to last, as was the case she found with all good things.
At around lunch time he left the room and when he returned it was with two steaming hot cups of coffee. She wished she could deny how good it smelt. Her senses were betraying her.
She opened her eyes and the two them just looked at each other for a moment as if they were to figure out what was best to do.
He took the lead as he knew they had to start somewhere.
"How do you feel sweetness?" There was only one thing which she could say to that.
"Like a fool."
"Well none of us see you like that. We all love you and just want to help."
The look which she gave him said she knew that but just at that moment she did not think it helped her at all.
"I want to shove it in a box where none of us can remember it," but she knew it would not happen. And that was half the problem. She had been doing that for far too long.
"We need to get to the bottom of it, sweetness," said Steve gently.
He did not want to scare her but he did not want her to think they could let it go when it was clear something was up.
It would be a lot easier to argue against him if he was not right, she thought, for she knew if it was the other way round then there was no way she would let it lie. She would urge him to talk to her, to let it out.
"Baby…"
"I will talk to you but not to Hope – not yet."
That was as much as she was willing to give for then and it was more than enough for him.
"Ok- was it the idea of talking to Hope that – " he did not have to finish the sentence.
She nodded. That was what had set her off the night before.
She nodded again. "I do not want too."
"That's fine… but tell me baby."
For a moment she was silent as she tried to find the right words to say but could not. She tried to remember how she had done it when she had been up in the cabin.
God she had never wanted the two of them to face another day like this one. And she thought it simply too cruel that they had too.
"It was Grayson," she said and she spoke clearly, knowing she just had to say it, no matter how awful it was.
For just a moment he put off asking the question he had to as he knew full well he was not going to be able to bare the answer.
He knew what it was – every one of his worst nightmares had come true once more.
But he owed her the courage to ask the question as she had screwed herself up to give him the answer.
And the two of them had always practised their courage together.
"What did he do to you sweetness?"
The silence went on forever.
"He raped me."
They were the words which Steve had hoped he was never going to live to hear her say again.
The last time he had forced her in to a marriage which she did not want to be in.
This time he just plain not been around to protect her.
Kayla.
The girl who had opened his heart and just plain reminded him he had a heart. The love of his life. The mother of his children.
No. no. no. no. no.
He moved close and put his arms about her. For there was nothing to do and nothing to say and it was not long until there were tears streaming down both of their faces as they clung together to try and ease the pain.
X x x
JJ came across his dad in the living room. He had heard about what had happened at the dinner and he had felt so bad for his aunt Kayla. They had all got so excited by how well she was, they had let the rest of it get blurred in the excitement. They had forgotten her inner wounds were yet to heal.
But what he did not know was how bad he was going to feel for his dad. He looked as if he was in hell and for all Jack cared he might well be.
Jennifer had all but ordered him come to the Horton house so she could keep an eye on him. She did not need to be told of the effect this was having on him.
One day and his life were going to be ruled by it forever. That was what he had not known or realise when he had been a young man. Back then he had been so damn arrogant he was not so sure it would have made a lot of different to him if he had known what was to come.
But now he was an old man it made all the difference in the world. If you stopped smoking after a single cigarette then he did not think you could be called a smoker.
But it was not the same when it came to rape.
If you did it once then you were a rapist and the always were going to be.
Kayla remembered, the two of them did not speak of it but the memory of the night was going to live in their minds for ever.
He did not expect JJ to come and sit by him. God only knew what his boy had made of it all.
There was nothing to say and nothing to do. But they could be together quietly.
JJ turned on the TV to prevent things getting awkward but he silently vowed to stay with him for as long as his dad needed him.
A man eaten up with as much regret as his dad was should not be alone.
X x x
Steve had gone down to the waterfront for a while to think, cursing himself as he had done so. If he had really been looking for the clues then he was sure he would have figured all of this out a while ago. But the truth was he had been too taken up by the idea that everything was beginning to work out for him. He had been happy to think he had his wife and his kids back and from there on out it was going to be smooth sailing.
He was yet to tell Joe what had gone on.
Stephanie was a different case.
She understood only too well all her mother was going through and so she had taken the news quietly and then gone and sat with Kayla, allowing him to take a breather.
Steve hated that too. He had failed to protect the women he loved time and time and time again.
Kayla. Stephanie. Jo. Adrienne.
Well not this time… Grayson was going to pay for this. By hook or by crook he was going to make sure of it.
And so he had gone to see Hope.
X x x
"I knew it was all too much for her, I knew we should not have all gone round. It was too soon," said Kimberly as she raced around the house doing ironing.
Theresa was sad to see her mother in such a state but selfishly glad she had not been at her aunts and uncles with Tate last night. That was the last thing he had needed.
But now she was not thinking about what her son needed but rather what her mother needed. They had had there difference over the years but she did not like to see her upset and upset she was. It was no surprise when she had seen her sister so scared and pained.
"Kim, I do not think any of us could have seen this coming."
"But I am her sister and I considering what I do for a living," if any of them should have seen it coming then it was her.
Shane wanted to reach out and hold her but for the first time he wasn't sure how to do that – or how to comfort her at all.
His panic for her must have shown for his eyes met his daughters.
Theresa took action and crossed the room to her mother, shoving Tate into her arms.
Kim looked surprised for a moment before she looked at her daughter, understood and accepted the gesture for what it was.
She cuddled in her little grandson close, kissed his forehead and hummed to him a little sadly.
She had felt as if she had failed her sister so badly – but here was her little Jeanie trying to tell her she had not.
Well… that was a turn up for the books.
"We are going to stay here with you – for as long as you need us."
Kim knew she was going to need them forever but did not think that admission would do much good just then.
She just had to enjoy the moment and that was just what she would do. Theresa came close and put one hand on the back of her mother and her son and Shane smiled at the sight.
If none of them moved for a long time, he did not think they could be blamed for that.
X x x
"Steve, how is Kayla?" Hope asked as he came in. Part of her still could not believe how the mood of the other evening had changed.
It had worried her ever since.
She wanted to know why it had more than anything.
"Exhausted. You need to tell me all you know about Grayson and you need to do it now."
She felt a sickening realization hit pit of her stomach.
"Why?" she asked. But the look in his eye told her all she needed to know.
Please let it be for any other reason that the one she suspected.
Steve just looked at her.
"No."
"What do you know about him?"
And all of a sudden she knew she had to put Kayla out her head and focusing on trying to stop Steve doing something stupid.
"Well, not where he is which is the only thing you want to know."
And that was so he could tear him apart.
"Don't mess me about Hope."
"Why on earth would I do that? I love Kayla and I am so sorry this has happened."
"Sorry it has happened?" It was just that was no good to him at all and not what he wanted to hear. "It is not as if there was an accident - he raped her Hope."
Steve did love her but the way she seemed to flinch from that words made him angry.
She wanted to hide from it but then so Kayla would have if she had the chance.
But she did not.
At one point not so long ago, he had thought that his life was once more perfect and now it felt as if his life was nothing for what good was any of it was. If he could not keep her safe…
Hope looked him in the eye.
"We are going to find him and we are going to bring him to justice."
"I swear to god we better."
Hope nodded, understanding. Her one hope now was that they could do so in a manner which was not going to see Steve up on a murder charge.
X x x
Later that evening, Hope felt as it the bottom had fallen out of her world. She did not think was an exaggeration to say that. She recalled the day when she had gone to the hospital to see Kayla. She could still see her as she had been in the bed, small and crying.
She had been afraid then and she had had every reason to be - but now Hope knew the whole truth, it made her feel sick in ways she did not think were even possible. That was a fact. She and Aiden had been the one to introduce Kayla and Grayson in the first place. If it was not for the two of them then Kayla would never even have met him
It was then that Aiden walked in.
She felt as if the blood in her veins was ice.
"How was last night?" he asked. The fact she had gone with Bo rankled on him.
"Awful." She was not going to hide it from him or shield him.
It had started out as such a sweet night. She had been back with all those she had grown up with all; it had been like a dream.
And then it had been like a nightmare and it had changed from one to the other so fast that was what she was struggling to get her head around.
"What happened?" he asked. Hope turned to him with emotionless eyes.
"Kayla had a panic attack. Then she told Steve what happened the night she ran off the road."
That was enough to peak his interest.
"And?"
"And Grayson - the man that we introduced her too – raped her that night." She said as they looked one another in the eye.
For a moment his face had no expression at all.
"That's awful."
It was the word which she herself had used and for some reason as it came out of his mouth it pissed her off. Beyond words it pissed her off.
"Yes it is… especially when you consider all she when through when she was younger. "
Aidan nodded. He did not know much. But he knew enough.
"You know all I can think of at the moment is how things were earlier this year." Hope mused as she tried to keep her voice level. "And all I can think of was how afraid she was and how distant you were when I tried to talk to you about Grayson. You were always trying to block the conversation or put it off."
She had been trying to decide long and hard, if she did want to ask this questions and it turned out that she did.
"Did you know he was that kind of man?"
"No." he was a good liar but Hope learnt that night he was not that good.
"Years of being a cop mean I know the truth when I am hearing it – and that wasn't the truth!" He paled but did not deny it. He sat back down at the coffee table.
"There was a rumor at his last company - but I dismissed it as I thought I knew him."
She had had a bit of hope she had been wrong even though in her heart she had known she was right.
"And you knew you were wrong…"
"The day he left. The day of the crash."
"And you left me in the dark when you knew my dearest friend – the woman I look on as a sister had gone through all of that and you never said a word."
So there it was. The two of them were done. She wondered if there was any chance for them when Bo had come back to town. And now she knew it was a no but that had never been anything to do with Brady.
And now at last the shit was hitting the fan all she wanted was him there.
"Get out!" she said lowly.
"GET OUT!"
They were done. They were well and truly done.
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