Chapter 35 Hate me

QuietSunlight (I like to be unpredictable), AquaTomato (Thanks, Sometimes a woman has to do it), The Unknown Twinkie (That is her true tragedy. She really wants to save people and she is blinded to the point of being cruel to them), kirbster676 (It would have made Marlene right if Joel stepped in), doomsta27 (Intense is what I wanted) Need a username (I really thought about that line. I rewrote it three times), TheGunSlinger82 (Here it is!), MasterHollow (I will have to plan that out.), edgaryg (Lol, it was supposed to be intense and a really nasty fight. The idea of them shanking each other is funny. Yeah, Marlene is like David. They sometimes make sense but it is covered with so much bullshit you can't believe them. I couldn't kill Joel now… that would sink my ship. But it would be dramatic). KuroiHanabixShenny (She did jump him from behind which is cowardly. So many knives… I will have to think about that. They have so many badass names). mckoy12345678910 (I still like her a little but she is like David for me), ThatChickontheInternet (OMG That song is one I always think of this pairing too! Yeah the pervert was a tough line but just the right amount of below the beltness)

A/N: Lots of comments… Let's keep rolling. Hate me by Blue October It is both Marlene to Ellie and Ellie to Marlene

-...- (Joel)

He laid out on the bed with a groan. It might have not been rebar, but being stabbed sure felt familiar. Joel gingerly attempted to lift his arm, but found that pain stopped him from doing too much. At least, the bone wasn't broken. He just had to make sure he didn't bleed to death from this.

As he coughed, Ellie added more gauze. She looked as pale as he was.

"I will be fine." He reassured her.

"You better." She barbed and gave a weak smile. Despite her teasing, her hands were shaking a little. She was taking everything pretty well, but he knew today had pushed her past her breaking point. She killed Marlene… He wasn't sure if he should say something about it…. She would have killed me if she had better aim. Marlene would have never stopped following them.

He took the gauze from her and pressed it to his wound "I will hold this. We need to hurry up and get out of here before the fireflies know what happened." He was sure he could get rid of most of them, but it wasn't the best time to fight.

She lit up. "I will get Kate. She will patch you up and we can leave." It was good to be with his partner again. Being on his own for the last few weeks was a stark reminder of how much life sucked when you didn't have someone you could trust.

He nodded. "Hurry up, Baby."

She popped up to peck him on the cheek before taking off to get her bag. "I will be." Ellie shouldered her bag and hurried left to get the women. He laid back on the pillow gathering his bearings.

They fucking killed Marlene. That woman had gone too far during the fight (He heard it all through the thin wall,s but Ellie didn't need him to shut the woman down. In a way, he was glad she attacked because she had no right to bring Sarah into any of that.). But it was a rush of memories and couldn't even tell you when she got the drop on him, but he was glad she started it.

He took a breath and pressed the gauze down. Shit. Joel just knew they couldn't stay to wait for this cure. They had to get away and lay low for a little while. Besides, a break is just what the doctor ordered.

It didn't take long for Ellie to drag the nurse in. The other woman looked so lost. Ellie probably didn't explain a damn thing.

"What happened?" Kate asked bewildered.

"Marlene stabbed him. " Ellie filled her in. "And Marlene…" She looked away. What she did was slowly sinking in. "Can you patch him up?" Her voice was soft.

"Yeah. Let me…" The nurse went to a cabinet in the room and pulled out the supplies and washed her hands before getting ready to tend to the wound. "Can I look at it?" She asked him and took the pressure off.

The nurse took charge of the gauze giving him a break as she winced. "It will need a few stitches…"

"Fine." Joel said. He had enough of those in his life...

Ellie hovered over the pair and checked the door. "I'm glad Johnson is okay."

Johnson. Joel made a face wondering who this guy way.

"He got shot in the leg, but it was clean. I got to him before he could do to much damage." Kate said as she prepped the needle. "By the way, Joel. Thank you for getting there in time."

"It was all luck." He studied the cabinet. If he had been a minute later both women might not be there patching him was glad that Ellie was happy about that man for the nurse's sake.

"Still, thank you." She cleaned the cut and began to do the work. They didn't carry much anesthesia to numb the pain, and Joel didn't expect them to do. His hands balled into fists and he didn't watch as she worked.

Ellie appeared in his view. "I didn't ask, but is Callus okay?"

"He is fine. Getting pretty stubborn. He wouldn't leave the city." He was happy to have the distraction.

Ellie smiled. "Good. We know where he learned the stubbornness from."

"Yeah, you." Joel smirked. He didn't feel the needle reenter the torn flesh.

"Fucking bullshit." She said affectionately. "We better bring him back to Tommy's before he gets too many ideas."

"Yeah. I was thinking we should head back to them and take them up on the offer. I think we need a good vacation after everything."

She nodded.

"All done!" Kate reapplied the gauze and called Ellie over. The women discussed how to keep it clean and how to make sure it healed up right. Kate gave Ellie the kit she used. It had some of that antibiotics in case they fucked this up.

Kate looked a little flustered and pulled the girl into a hug. "I'm sorry. I didn't know anything about it."

Ellie nodded.

"I will tell the doctors and I'm sure Marlene knows…"

"Marlene knows alright." Joel grumbled as he sat up.

Ellie popped his arm. It didn't physically hurt, but he did feel a little ashamed.

"Marlene attacked us and… I shot her." Ellie admitted and Kate's eyes widened. He didn't even expect her to admit it.

"You… shit." The nurse cussed and looked away. She shook her head and said, "You better go. I will stay and handle things." She looked at Joel. "Take it easy… if you can." She stood up and straightened her scrubs.

Joel nodded. I will try...

The women quickly hugged. Ellie looked awkward as she muttered "Bye." She knew she would probably never meet this woman again, but that was the nature of the world they lived in.

"Don't say that." The nurse said as she gave Ellie another squeeze. "Take care of yourself and him and I see you later."

Ellie nodded. "I hope I will. Watch out for your friend." She gave a smile.

They took another second for the nurse broke the hug and she went down stairs, while they headed to the back elevator.

-...- (Ellie)

Joel held her hand as the elevator dropped down to the parking lot. At least, the intruders saved them the trouble of having to be sneaky. The parking lot was deserted. Only Callus stood there stomping his hoof. He was ready to go.

Both scanned the area as they ran to the horse. Joel climbed on first. He tried to spare his arm as much as possible, but he still hissed in pain as he settled into the saddle. Ellie pulled herself up behind him and they took off.

clop clop clop Callus thundered down the asphalt and Joel didn't look back as they headed north out of the city. They weren't as fast as normal, but Joel was pushing himself to get away.

Ellie buried her nose in his threadbare plaid shirt taking comfort in his smell

She couldn't believe it. That morning he was dead and she was giving a sample and now they were running away from it all.

He wasn't lying about not giving a shit about the cure. Guilt twisted her stomach. They should have enough samples... Even if the Doctor's could do it, there was no way that they could… There isn't much I could do to help them anyway… Maybe the military would want it if it worked. Ellie just could not imagine the fireflies surviving without a leader like Marlene.

Marlene. She blinked away the image of the now dead woman with a hole in her gut and her heart. Marlene was the closest person she had to family and Ellie's family got smaller everyday.

The fight replayed in her head and ended in the hallway. I…. killed...her….

Ellie had stabbed and shot her fair amount of hunters and other threats, but this was close too home. She killed someone she knew her whole life. Someone who raised her. Someone who…

Tears were rolling and she tried not to sob because Joel would notice her then. Don't cryDon'tcrydon'tcry

The feelings crashed in. She knew why she did it. Marlene said so many things. But I said them to…. Hurt people say hurtful things… she rationalized wishing they could have actually talked instead of screaming.

"I think living with the guilt of knowing how bad you fucked this up will be enough. Having fun explaining this to my mother when you see her in hell."

That was the last thing I said to her… Ellie felt the words stab her own heart. She could not believe she said that!

She quietly wiped at the tears. Marlene attacked Joel, but they could have left her. A doctor could have patched that… Ellie knew that was a lie and she knew why she just finished it, but goddamn it.

She felt so stupid. Marlene lied and kept on lying. She shouldn't feel like this.

But I didn't kill the Marlene who lied. I killed the Marlene who used to sneak her sweets and liked to hear her stories. The woman who hugged her tight and was the first to believe her when the bite didn't spread. She killed that woman and that is what she felt guilty about.

She sniffed and she knew Joel could hear her, but he didn't say anything. He just slide his free hand to take hers.

Ellie took a breath. It hadn't even been a whole day! Everything happened in a matter of hours and she couldn't take any of it back.

The rode into the growing darkness between them and that place. He would find a spot for them to sleep tonight, but Ellie knew she never wanted to see Salt Lake. It was another place to add to the list of places she never wanted to see again. Joel continued to hold her hand.

A/N: After the adrenaline of fight or flight is guilt. So, Ellie had to have a moment otherwise she would be heartless. I may or may not be able to post on Friday. I will try too.