Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

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Life is a test. It's excruciatingly painful, bizarre, confusing, heart breaking, and temperamental all at once. It's also beautiful, lovely, grand, thrilling, and overwhelmingly wonderful. There's no other way to describe it. It will tear you down with out the slightest hint of mercy and once you withstand it, it will build you up again. It's as if the earth is trying to shape you, mold you into the brilliant being you are destined to be. The tragedy is that few realize this. They see the bad as a manifestation of their "horrible" life and the good as bursts of luck when in reality; they're just being made stronger.

Some people have to be made stronger than others though. Those are the ones who go to bed with tears in their eyes and wake up with heavy limbs. Those are the ones who have their world crash down upon them and shatter everything they hold dear. They put up with it because a small part of them realizes that they have to. Their eyes hold a steely wisdom and compassion. They are guarded, yet understand more than anyone would ever guess. Those are the ones who will do great things. There's no other way to describe it.

These great people get built up bit by bit, never knowing when life is going to pummel them again once more. It could be the very next day in some rather annoying form, or it could be the next month in the shape of catastrophe. All they know is that it will happen because it always does. While this may sound barbaric, they will get their happiness. The world will make sure of it. The fate of everything lies in a delicate balance, always evening itself out after every tip.

The moment that Albus Dumbledore informed Sirius Black that his only remaining family member had passed on, the scale tipped. It would bounce back eventually, but that would take time. The terrible part was that Sirius Black's scale would continue to tip for a long time.

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"Sirius, I'm afraid that during these 'errands' your brother did not come out alive."

The words nearly echoed, bouncing across the walls. Silence was what came to meet them. What was there to say? They were all exhausted, confused, and somewhat terrified. Finding out that Sirius' brother had died made the shock set in. The shock that the world was in one of the most horrible states it had ever been in.

The seconds ticked on, persistent as always. You could hear the quiet sounds of the clock in the large room filled with people. You could hear each of their breathes, some steady and others not so much. The silence came to an end when one of the chairs made a particularly loud screeching noise against the polished wooden floor.

Sirius stood, not looking anyone in the eye, before walking out of the room without a word. The minute the door closed behind him a dozen things happened at once. Lily stood quickly, the chair nearly toppling out from underneath her. The sudden movement caused blood to rush to her head at unnatural speeds. Her sight became splotchy and James caught her just before she hit the ground. Voices all around them were talking, crying, asking questions. They wanted to know what happened. What was it that Voldemort had been doing that night with Regulus Black? Wasn't the boy a death eater? How did you die? Alice and Frank were whispering softly to each other with concerned looks as they knelt beside Lily and James. Remus seemed to be debating whether or not he should be going after Sirius. James held Lily's head in his lap wondering why his wife seemed so sick. A nauseating worry rolled into his stomach. Dumbledore though, he just sat there, calm and collected as always. It wasn't until the noise in the room died down that he spoke.

"I believe it is time for all to return home. I wish you and your families the best."

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The first thing Sirius did was march into McGonagall's office, knowing it was open to him. He pushed the door open, pleased with how it swung easily. The office was just as he remembered it, red and gold with all sorts of papers scattered across the desk. He stepped into her fireplace and grabbed a rather large handful of the familiar green powder that made his nose itch before throwing it down at his feet.

"ST. MUNGO'S!" his voice was loud and sure, sending him spiraling through the floo network and into the wizard hospital.

He made his way confidently up the stairs seeing as there seemed to be a long wait at the elevator. He thought he remembered Lily saying that they were on the twelfth floor…or was it the thirteenth? Sirius honestly had no idea. Thus being said, he climbed until he got to a landing rather high up, hoping that it was the right one. The area was large and probably spacious if not for all the hospital beds jammed everywhere. Sirius had the feeling that he was in the right place.

His steely grey eyes skirted around the room, seeking out a familiar head of brown curls. It wasn't until then that he realized how many people had gotten injured. It seemed like the whole Order was residing in the room. He could see Fabian and Gideon chatting with Dedalus Diggle a few beds over. He waved to them absentmindedly when they looked up. He also saw Edgar Bones looking rather beat up a few feet over. The man was unconscious and Sirius could tell that he had put up a tough fight. It took him a few minutes but he finally found Marlene. Her head was bent over a magazine, likely one of the horrid girly things she was always carrying around.

She looked like she was doing well. Her face was pale, but not terribly so, and he noticed a rapidly healing gash that ran from her cheekbone up to her forehead. Her left leg was also set in a cast of maroon. He could already see several intricate doodles covering the upper half in various sharpie colors. He recognized the markers sitting at the table beside her and concluded that Lily must have brought them.

Sirius finally started stepping towards her, weaving through the many beds laying haphazardly across the room. She didn't notice that he arrived until he was but a few feet away from where she was laying. Her warm brown eyes connected with his own and his previously controlled smirk crumpled as everything hit him. His baby brother was dead. His baby brother who he had always sworn to protect was gone from the earth. Marlene saw his eyes begin to tear up and grew worried. She motioned him over without a word and engulfed him in a large hug as soon as he had sat down beside her.

She just held him there as his shoulders began to shake. It wasn't very often that Sirius cried. In fact, sometimes she swore he was too strong for his own good. He pushed his emotion into jokes and sarcasm. It was his way of dealing and she had decided long ago that she wasn't going to mess with it. There were maybe a total of three times that Marlene could remember seeing him shed a tear in her entire life.

The first time had been when his brother had begun Hogwarts and did nothing but ignore him. The littlest or grandest gesture Sirius made to welcome Regulus was completely disregarded. Regulus had changed in the year that Sirius had been at Hogwarts before and Marlene had seen it take a toll on him. She had accidently walked across him sitting against a wall and crying into his knees. She hadn't known what to do so she had gone and sat by him, not touching him and not speaking. When he was done he stood up and left, their eyes connecting once. They never spoke of it again.

The next had been later on in their sixth year. It had been late, extremely late actually and she had been up studying for exams that were quickly approaching. The common room had been warm and comforting with the fire crackling as usual and the red and gold on the walls playing tricks on her eyes. She was quite exhausted and couldn't help but let her eyes droop every now and again. Marlene had been snapped fully awake when Sirius had run into the common room, tears streaming down his face. He came in in an obvious rage, knocking books of the shelves and scattering papers around the room. She just sat there in her chair, looking on at him curiously. He finally collapsed to a heap on the floor. Marlene remembered standing and walking over to him, crouching down beside him. She wrapped an arm around his back and led him to the nearest couch before placing a blanket over him. She later learned that Sirius had tricked Snape into going down into the Whomping Willow during a full moon. It did not stomach well with him afterwards.

The most recent time Marlene remembered Sirius crying in front of her had been when Lily was taken. It must have been three or four days after the day the wedding was supposed to be. They were all holed up at the Weasley's, not allowed to go out often. Dumbledore knew how rash they could be when it came to their friends. She had been helping Molly with the dusting and entered a round room she had never been in before. Shelves filled with all kinds of knick-knacks and books lined the walls and in the middle of it all were a few mismatched chairs of different shapes and sizes. Sirius was sitting in one of them, completely silent. His face was in his hands and she saw the smallest drop of water tumble into his lap. She walked up to him and placed her small hand lightly on his shoulder. He took hold of her arm and pulled her onto his lap, crying into her shoulder. They had a conversation that she wouldn't forget.

"What if we can't find her?" he had murmured nearly too soft for her to hear.

"Why would you think that?" she asked, stroking his black hair gently.

"It's been days and we have no idea where she is,"

"That doesn't mean we won't find her,"

Marlene often marveled over Sirius and Lily's friendship. It was one that she would never have been able to guess; yet it worked. Lily made him think. He made her loosen up. The two had bonded what with having siblings who despised their very beings. Marlene remembered all the little questions they'd ask each other. They were the silliest things, yet they made Marlene believe that no one knew Sirius more than Lily. Their friendship was different from her own with Lily, theirs held more layers, each more complicated. It had stitched them together though.

"James," he said with a strangled chuckle. "James is a mess, will barely swallow a thing," his voice held a bit of humor before becoming soft again, "I want that you know,"

"Want what?"

"What they have, James and Lily,"

Marlene remembered thinking about that very carefully, analyzing everything. James and Lily were perfect for each other, something that was mentioned over and over again. James was so spontaneous and charming, something Lily had originally thought was quite silly seeing as it managed to get him to detention time after time. After all they had been through together though, they'd always have each other to laugh with, smile with, cry with, yell and argue with. They held each other up and Marlene didn't know if one would be able to live while the other was gone. That was why she was so worried about James. Lily wasn't there to remind him to eat fruit and go to bed at a decent time. She wasn't there to slap his arm when he made fun of Sirius or Remus. She just wasn't there and he was falling apart.

"I think I'd like that too," she finally said. Sirius had looked her in the eyes then, quite intently.

"I like you a lot Marlene," he had said, dragging his thumb across her cheek.

"I like you a lot too,"

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Sirius fingered the letter in his pocket as the last of tears dripped off his nose. He pulled back from Marlene to see that she had watery eyes as well. They were red rimmed and somewhat swollen, but she was still as adorable as ever.

"Why are you crying?" he asked her, moving to wipe away a rouge tear that fell from her eye.

"Because you're crying and I want you to be happy,"

Those words struck him somewhere. He had never thought that anyone would feel so deeply about him. He nearly couldn't believe it. She had been crying just because she was sad he had? Warmth slowly filled him, bubbling pleasantly through his insides. He searched her eyes and found her words true just by looking at them.

"Regulus is dead," he finally said, trying his best to keep his voice steady. She instantly grabbed his hand in her own and pulled him towards her.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," she whispered into his ear.

"I was going to get him to meet with me you know," he spoke into her hair, just loud enough for her to hear.

"Really?" she asked, knowing that he just needed to keep talking and he'd be okay.

"I wrote the letter and everything," he said with the smallest laugh. It sounded sad and cold. "Just a few hours ago actually…maybe one or two. Can you believe it?"

"What did it say?"

"I asked where he lived. I told him I wanted to see him. It told him that James and Lily got married. I told him I was an auror. I told him to meet me at the Leaky Cauldron. I was going to send it you know,"

"Yeah?"

"I was going to, right then when I finished it. I was so tired though figured, Regulus isn't going anywhere, and I can send it in the morning. I never did,"

"Do you know what I think?" Marlene asked him.

"What?"

"I think he died for the Light,"

"Not likely,"

"Why is that so hard to believe, Sirius? He was a good kid, yes?"

"Yeah, but then he became a death eater,"

"You'll see, you'll see one day," she urged, squeezing him a little closer.

"Marlene?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"I love you a lot,"

"I love you a lot too,"

He had finally said the words.

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I don't know about you guys, but I kind of love Sirius and Marlene…a lot. I can just picture them loving each other so much. They're adorable, it's decided haha. Okay onto the next matter of business. The story is almost done! One, maybe two chapters left. So here is how it's going to happen, I'm going to take this in the same direction as last time. Either a) follow me as an author on fan fiction and you'll get a PM when I post the new story or b) send me a review saying that you want me to PM you when I post it, be sure to give me your name if you're not logged in. I'll talk more about when "Holding Onto Hope" comes out next time. Please Review!

-Sweets5236 (Sorry for grammar mistakes)