Chapter 36 The Return of the Principal
Ranma hugged his fiancée as he watched Kasumi flee their bedroom, though he thought it was nice that she remembered to close the door behind her. Then he burst out laughing.
"Well, that was interesting," Akane said as she began to giggle, "I can't remember the last time I saw Kasumi that flustered about anything."
After a few moments of shared laughter, Ranma asked, "I hope you know that school will be interesting tomorrow?"
"Oh, because of Yuka and Sayuri?" Akane asked.
"Yeah, I'm not sure how they're gonna take seeing me," Ranma replied.
Akane teased, "Well, so long as they don't see you like they did yesterday, it'll be okay."
Ranma tensed for a moment, and then relaxed as he realized that he was being kidded. He chuckled for a moment and then replied, "You're the only woman I want to see me like that."
"Good answer," Akane retorted.
He smiled at that and then changed the subject, "I'm kind of glad that scroll was illegible in a way. I really didn't want Pop to try to learn it. He's not the most responsible person in the world."
Akane giggled at that and said, "That's an understatement if ever I heard one." She thought about the last week and a sudden thought struck her as she realized that Ranma hadn't seemed to be terribly surprised when he was told about the Happo Fire Burst. She half-turned in his arms so that she could see his face and said, accusingly, "You already knew about the Happo Fire Burst, didn't you?"
"Yeah, after having it used on me by the old freak so many times, it would be hard not to know what it was. It's just a big firework that Happosai pulled out of thin air somehow," Ranma said, "I never did figure out where he hid them, and he could make them all sorts of different sizes."
"But, I thought you didn't remember going after the scroll?" Akane asked.
"Now that it's over, I kind of remember something similar happening, but the circumstances and details were different this time. Actually I think it was probably more painful before. I mostly remember the old freak using those fireworks on me," Ranma replied. He shrugged and then added, "It's hard to remember everything that happened the last time around. I remember the most memorable things, like meeting you for the first time, for instance, or the day I first realized how much you meant to me. Those kinds of things. I suppose going after the scroll just didn't make that much of an impression on me."
Ranma leaned back in his chair as he listened to the sensei prattle on about the history of the Feudal era. He was privately amused at the reaction he had gotten when Yuka and Sayuri had walked into the classroom and saw him already sitting at his desk. The two girls had blushed bright red, and then started giggling. Daisuke and Hiroshi had looked at him, looked at their respective girlfriend and then looked back at Ranma. He had simply shrugged his shoulders, as if to say he had no idea what they were going on about. He could almost feel Yuka staring at him from her desk a few rows behind, and the few times he had glanced over at Sayuri, she had been gazing at him, her cheeks still reddened, with a hungry look in her eyes. Finally, he decided to write Akane a note, and after waiting for the sensei to turn back to the board, he handed it to her.
Akane opened up the note, which read, 'I think you need to talk to the girls about Saturday.' She looked over at Sayuri and saw the looks she was giving Ranma. "Sayuri,' she thought, 'while I can't fault your taste, he's mine. Looks like Ranma was right.'
Ukyo watched the byplay between Ranma and Akane and then noticed the other two girls blushing furiously every time they snuck a peek at Ranma. 'I wonder what that's all about,' she thought.
At that moment, to everyone's relief, the bell rang, signaling the end of this boring class, and the beginning of Ranma's favorite period, lunch. The last of the unseasonable rains had stopped several days ago, and the normal time for snowstorms had not yet arrived, so the ground outside was nice and dry, therefore the entire class, save for those few who still liked eating in the cafeteria, made their way outside. Akane caught up to her friends, Yuka and Sayuri, and walked with them, while Ranma held back for a few moments to allow her to have an embarrassing chat with them.
"Okay, girls, what the hell is with you two?" Akane asked in a fierce whisper.
Yuka blushed furiously and replied, hesitantly, "Akane, don't take this the wrong way, but the last two nights he's all I can dream of. What's he like in bed?"
"Yuka!" Akane exclaimed, her face beet red, "We haven't done that yet!"
"You haven't?" Sayuri asked in surprise, "I mean, I just thought, you know, since you were sharing a bed and everything?"
"No, we promised to wait," Akane said. Then she admitted, in a rush, "But it's getting hard."
"I'm sure that it is getting hard," Yuka said, in a suggestive voice.
Akane glared at her friend and said, "That's not what I meant and you know it!" 'This is so embarrassing, I'm going to kill you two,' she thought. She took a deep breath and said, "I thought you two were my friends."
"We are," Sayuri said quickly, "And we would never try to come between the two of you. Not that we could. I've seen the way he looks at you. He just doesn't see any other girl." She smiled ruefully, and added, "But he sure is great to look at. Can you really blame us for fantasizing, just a little?"
Akane sighed and said, "Just so long as it's just fantasy. If you tried to act on it, I would have to hurt you." She glared at both of them to show that she wasn't kidding.
"Don't worry, Akane, neither of us go poaching, and you've got the rest of the girls scared," Yuka said, hurriedly.
Akane shared a wicked look with the two girls and said, "I have to admit, though, he is great eye candy." The three girls giggled at that.
Ukyo sat down next to Ranma, and asked, "What was all that with Yuka and Sayuri this morning? They could hardly keep their eyes off you today. And what's with all of the blushing?"
Ranma grinned a bit sheepishly and replied, "I guess they saw something they weren't expecting to see over the weekend."
"Oh?" Ukyo asked, her tone expressing a world of meaning in just the one word, one eyebrow raised.
Ranma rubbed the back of his neck, and asked, "I've told you about Happosai, Pop's and Mr. Tendo's old master, right?"
Ukyo frowned and replied, "Some. You told me you defeated him to take the title of grandmaster of the school away from him. But that was a while ago."
"True, well, last week Pop told us about a technique that the old man had sealed away, and insisted that we go find it from where he had hidden it," Ranma said, "Anyway, this weekend we went to go retrieve it." He chuckled a bit and added, "What we didn't know is that a hot spring had grown up around the place that the scroll was hidden. One just for women."
"I think I know where this is going," Ukyo said, with a huge grin.
Ranma smiled wryly and replied, "Yeah, I bet you can. Anyway, after Pop and Mr. Tendo made fools of themselves a couple of times, Akane and I went after the scroll, me as a girl of course. It probably would have been okay, except that Yuka and Sayuri showed up. I was able to jump across and get to the middle of the pool where the scroll was hidden under a rock on a small islet. But I misjudged the jump back, and as you probably figured out, landed in the water in front of them and changed back."
"So they got an eyeful, didn't they?" Ukyo said, giggling prettily.
Ranma laughed and said, "Afraid so, and now they can't stop blushing when they see me. Akane is over there sorting them out."
"Actually, it's done," Akane said from behind them.
Ranma looked over his shoulder and smirked at Yuka and Sakuri. "Did you like what you saw, girls?" he asked, his eyes dancing. He was rewarded by the two of them blushing furiously. He shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry I embarrassed us all. Of course, the part that makes it an even funnier story is that the writing on the scroll was so illegible we couldn't read it. So all of that went for nothing."
Sayuri grinned evilly, and said, "Well, I definitely wouldn't call what I saw nothing. How about you Yuka? Akane?"
"Sayuri!" Akane exclaimed, as Ranma blushed beet red.
Ukyo glanced between the other four, and began to laugh at the expressions on their faces.
Ukyo paled as she read the return address on the letter the postman had just delivered. It was from her father, and nothing good could come from that. Reluctantly, she used one of her small spatulas as a letter opener and slid the letter out. Shaking slightly, she unfolded the letter and read, 'Ukyo, It has come to my attention that you have managed to find those bastards, the Saotomes. However, you have not fulfilled your vow to me. Reluctantly, I must conclude that you have no intention of restoring your honor. If I am wrong in that conclusion, forgive me for what I must do. I expect a satisfactory conclusion to the matter within the next several days. Either wed the child or seek their death, I care not. But, the matter must be resolved soon. My health is not the best and it must be finished before I die. If not, the provision in my will shall be exercised and you will be disowned and all that I have will go to your cousin. Kuonji.'
As she read, first she felt anger, and then the tears began to flow. 'How did he find out, I didn't tell him,' she thought, wiping the tears from her eyes, 'I can't kill Ranma, he's an innocent in the whole mess. Genma, on the other hand, I could cheerfully stake out over an anthill and pour honey over his naked body. And I can't marry Ranma, I couldn't do that to Akane.'
Konatsu watched from the shadows as his Ukyo began to weep. Whatever that letter had said, had upset her a great deal. 'Someone has hurt my Ukyo-sama,' he thought, his eyes flashing red with anger. Forcing his anger from his voice, he asked, "Is something wrong, Ukyo-sama?"
"Just got some bad news from my father, Konatsu," Ukyo replied, "I've got some things to think about. Could I impose on you and Auntie to take care of the restaurant tonight?"
"Certainly, Ukyo-sama," Konatsu replied.
"Of course, dear," Nodoka said. She hesitated and then asked, "Is there something I can do? Some tea, perhaps?"
Ukyo smiled sadly and replied, "Thank you, but I have to work this out by myself." 'And I need something stronger than tea,' she thought. "I'll be in my apartment if you need me," she finished. She slowly made her way to her sitting room, where she walked to a small cabinet and pulled out a bottle, and a cup.
Ukyo's reverie was interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the door to her small apartment. "Ukyo-sama," Konatsu called through the door, "Mom sent me up here with some dinner for you. Please let me in."
Ukyo slid the letter that she had been staring at vacantly for the last half-hour back into the envelope that it had come in and then said, "Give me a minute, Konatsu." She ran to the sink and tried to repair her tear-ravaged cheeks as best she could by splashing cold water on her face. 'Sugar, you look like a mess,' she thought. With a deep sigh, she walked to the door and opened it to see Konatsu carrying a tray with a bowl of what appeared to be some sort of noodle soup.
"She made up some Ramen noodles in chicken broth for you," Konatsu said, "And she said that she expected me to make sure you ate it all up, Ukyo-sama."
Ukyo gave a deaths-head grin and let the kunoichi in. "Well, we can't disappoint Auntie," Ukyo replied in a raspy voice. She didn't miss the look of concern that was in Konatsu's eyes, nor the love that was shining from them either. Sighing again, she let herself be led back to the futon, where it became evident that Konatsu was prepared to feed her if necessary.
Konatsu frowned as he saw the bottle of sake sitting on the low table in front of the futon. "I think this soup is probably better for you than that," he said with a sniff.
"Don't worry, I haven't had any of it," Ukyo said, "After a few minutes I realized that it wouldn't solve anything." She took the spoon away from Konatsu and began to eat. Once the soup hit her stomach, she realized that she was ravenous, and finished the large bowl almost as fast as Ranma would have.
"Is there anything I can do for you, Ukyo-sama?" Konatsu asked shyly.
Ukyo looked at the young man kneeling on the floor in front of her and replied, hesitantly, "I could use a shoulder to cry on."
Konatsu braced himself as Ukyo all but threw herself at him, his arms holding her tight as she laid her head on his broad shoulders. "What was in the letter that was so upsetting? Is it something that you need to talk about?" he asked in a gentle, caring voice.
"I'm not ready to talk about it yet, Konatsu," Ukyo replied, as the tears began to stream from her eyes again. 'Father, why are you doing this to me?' she thought.
"Good evening," Nodoka said as the door to the café opened and a young man she vaguely recognized walked in.
"Hello, is Ukyo around?" the young man asked.
Nodoka replied, "She's not feeling very well this evening and went upstairs to bed. Can I help you?"
"Just tell her that Souta Higurashi is here," Souta replied, "And that I'd like to see her if possible."
"Ah, you're the young man she has gone out with a few times. I thought I recognized you.I'm Nodoka Saotome," Nodoka said, "Wait here and I'll see if she's wanting any company." 'Hm, I sent Konatsu up nearly an hour ago,' she thought as she walked up the stairs. Through the open door to the apartment, she saw Konatsu holding Ukyo in his arms while she cried on his shoulder. "Ukyo, that young man is here," she said.
Ukyo raised her head up briefly, feeling Konatsu stiffen up, and said, "Tell him I'll talk to him later. I'm, uh, I just can't see him like this."
Nodoka asked, "Is there anything I can do for you?"
Ukyo grimaced and replied, "No, Auntie. It's something to do with my family, and I'll have to work it out by myself. Tell Souta I'll see him tomorrow at school."
"Any time you need to talk to me about what is bothering you, I'll listen," Nodoka said kindly. She went back down the stairs to find Souta.
"How is she?" Souta asked.
Nodoka replied, politely, but sternly, "She said she'd see you tomorrow at school, young man."
"Well, er, okay," Souta said, and then walked out the door.
The weather had finally turned as the winter storms had swept across the ward of Nerima, dumping several inches of snow. Once the storms had cleared the area, the air felt crisp and clean, with the brilliant December sun glinting off of the ice crystals in the snow and the icicles hanging from all of the eaves, turning the town into a winter wonderland. The students made their reluctant way to school, all warmly dressed against the chill in the air, most of them wishing that they were instead playing hooky.
Yuka and Sayuri were two of the unfortunate students making their way from the main gate and across the snow-covered courtyard, with Sayuri having a brightly patterned scarf around her neck. As they neared the middle of the courtyard, they heard the other students yammering.
"Hey, I heard the principal's coming back," one girl said.
"Coming back?" the boy standing next to her asked.
A senior replied, "Come to think about it, I haven't seen him since I enrolled!"
"He's been in the United States, studying their teaching methods or something is what I heard," a fourth student added.
Sayuri said, "I heard he went to Hawaii."
"I hope it loosened him up," Yuka said with a giggle, "I've heard horror stories about him from all of my older brother's friends."
"Ey, Girl!" Sayuri heard from behind her as someone yanked on her scarf, pulling it off. "One demerit fo' de loud scarf, yeah!" the voice continued in a fake Hawaiian accent.
The two girls whirled and gaped in amazement. There, looming over them was a large snowman, with large, black buttons, and a palm tree growing out of its head. The snowman then started running around to all of the other students in the courtyard. It said, "Demerit fo' de ugly t'reads!" to one, "Demerit fo' de bad cut!" to one poor girl, who screamed in fright. All the time it ran around the courtyard it was also laughing maniacally.
Ranma and Akane walked into the courtyard just in time for one of the students to yell, "It's a snowman from hell."
"Damn, that crazy principal is here!" Ranma exclaimed, "I'd forgotten that he showed up this year."
The snowman glared at Ranma, seeing a student out of the school uniform, and leapt up into the sky. As it soared into the air, it said, "Demerit." Just before it landed, Ranma and Akane jumped back, causing the snowman to land with a loud SPLAT!
"Who the hell are you?" Akane asked as they glared at the figure in front of them.
The snowman chuckled and said, "'Ey, hang loose," as it attempted to hug Ranma. As it did so, one arm came around with a large pair of shears to try to cut off Ranma's pigtail.
Ranma chuckled and jumped back, kicking the snowman in the chest and knocking it away. "Sorry, I just don't hug strangers, especially strange snowmen," Ranma said with a smirk, "And I like my hair just fine!"
"So, like dat, eh?" the snowman said, still in that obnoxious fake accent, "You wan' mix wit' da principal?" A pair of shears in each hand, the snowman charged Ranma.
"Principal," one student stammered. The rest of the students groaned in dismay.
"That thing?" another student asked.
Ranma grinned wickedly and said, "Well, if there's one thing I hate, it's a lying snowman!" He jumped up and slammed both feet into the snowman's head, knocking the snowman to the ground in a large cloud of powdered snow.
When the cloud dispersed, the students saw a large man, in a bright Hawaiian shirt, lei around his neck, wearing a pair of dark sunglasses, and a palm tree still growing out of his head sitting amidst the rubble. He was strumming, badly, a ukulele, and said, "A-loooo-ha, keiki! Da Big Kahuna's back!" Once again, he began to laugh like a maniac.
The students all gasped in dismay.
One upper classman, in denial, stammered, "He he he can't be!"
The girl standing next to him, gasped, "H-he's gotta be a-a-a"
"A what? A tiki salesman gone bad?" a third asked in shock.
The principal said, in a friendly manner, " 'ey, brudda, have a little taste of the islands," as he handed Ranma a pineapple.
Ranma tossed the pineapple back at the principal and said, "No thanks, I don't take fruit from strangers." As the pineapple landed in the principal's hands, it exploded with a large bang, scorching the principal's face and arms. Ranma smirked and said, "You really shouldn't play with things that go boom, you know. You might get hurt!"
The principal crawled out of the crater formed by the explosion, his clothes slightly scorched and his glasses askew on his face. "You hit me!" he accused.
"No, I just returned your pineapple bomb," Ranma said, "You're the one that tried to blow me up first."
The principal simply gaped at him in astonishment for a moment, and then whistled. Out of nowhere, a pair of reindeer ran up, pulling a small sled behind them. The principal leapt onto the sled, and said, " 'ey Boy, you remembah dis, yeah!" tears streaming down his face. As he flicked the reins, he exclaimed, "Surf's up!" and dashed out of sight. Ranma looked up and saw another pineapple coming his way, so he grabbed Akane by the waist, and jumped backwards several meters. The rest of the students scattered also, but not all of them managed to escape as the bomb exploded.
"Y'know, if anybody needs discipline in this school," Hiroshi said as he pulled himself out of the snow where he had been thrown by the explosion, "It isn't one of us!"
Daisuke glared at where the principal had disappeared and growled, "He's going to pay for this!"
The normal class routine was interrupted shortly after the first class of the day had started when the loudspeakers announced, amid the crackles and pops, "All students report to the auditorium for announcements from the principal." Groaning, all the students had made their way into the auditorium and found their seats. Once every student was there, the Hawaiian-shirted man from before walked out and stood behind the lectern that was in the middle of the stage.
"Oh my, it wasn't a joke!" Ukyo exclaimed from where she was sitting next to Akane. Though with all of the rest of the students talking, Ranma barely heard her.
"A-looo-ha! I wen comin' back from Hawaii, an I say, I gotta bring a present fo' all my keiki, yeah!" the principal exclaimed.
"A present?" one of the students asked.
"Macadamia nuts, right?" a girl next to him sneered.
Behind the principal, two banners dropped down, unveiling cartoons of a boy and a girl, the boy with a very short haircut, and the girl with a bowl cut. "Bran' new school rules!" he exclaimed, "All bruddas gotta get dem buzz cuts! All sisters gotta get dem bowl cuts!"
The students erupted in anger, most of them screaming incoherently.
"Eh, don' bus' up yet! I jus' gettin' started, yeah!" the principal exclaimed.
Suddenly, balls, shoes, hockey sticks, folding chairs, and all sorts of other objects came flying out of the audience, all of them hitting the principal, staggering him back.
The vice principal ran from the side of the stage and approached the principal. "Uh, sir," the vice principal whispered.
"What?" the principal asked.
"I'm afraid you can't do that. You haven't got those rules approved by the board of governors," the other man replied, his knees shaking together.
"I de principal, what I say goes," the principal said angrily.
The vice principal shook his head and said, "I'm sorry, but the school charter was changed a few months ago, and now any rule changes have to be approved by two thirds of the school board. The principal is no longer allowed to make changes without their permission. And that includes changes to the current dress code."
"WHAT!" the principal exclaimed.
Ranma chuckled, causing Akane to look at him quizzically.
"What's so funny?" Akane asked.
"Yeah, Ranchan, why weren't you getting angry?" Ukyo asked.
"I think that Kuno there just found out about the changes in the charter," Ranma replied with an evil grin.
"What changes?" Yuka asked.
Ranma replied, "The ones that Mom pushed through the school board, about any rule changes have to be approved by them."
"Kuno? Did you say Kuno?" Akane gasped, as she heard the most important part of the answer..
"Yeah, I found out that he's Kuno's father," Ranma replied.
Akane groaned and said, "Well, that explains it. He's as crazy as his children."
Meanwhile, back on the stage the principal was still arguing with his assistant. "Who made dem change de rules?" he asked.
"I believe the original suggestion came from a Mrs. Saotome and a Mr. Tendo," the vice principal stammered, "But it was approved unanimously by the board. It was in the minutes and everything. I thought you were aware of the changes."
"Hey, principal, if you're done, can we get back to class?" Ranma shouted. He turned to Akane and asked, "Do you want to have some fun? How good is your aim?"
Akane looked at him and then smiled hugely. "That sounds like a good idea," she said with a smirk. She began to concentrate.
Ranma said, "On three. One, two, three. Möko Takabisha!" Simultaneously, he heard Akane shout, "Genko Fenikusu!" From each of them a ball of ki shot out, and struck one of the two banners, blowing them in two.
All of the students burst out in applause, as well as a few of the teachers standing around the outer walls. The principal stood stupefied as the remains of the banners collapsed on his head. Then he stood up from the midst of the rubble, and said, angrily, "Bettah listen up now, keiki! Evahbody gona t'row some hands wit' me, yeah!" He held up a coconut.
"Huh?" several students asked, not understanding a word he said.
"A fight?" Tatewaki Kuno exclaimed.
"Inside da coconut, dey like a pardon f'om all de rules," the principal said, "Any brudda-sistah get dis nut from me, an' Uncle Principal don' bodda wid no haircut for da kine no more!"
Ukyo stared in amazement at Ranma. 'How did he know?' she wondered. She stood up and asked, "You mean this coconut?" as she held up a coconut with a label that read, 'School Rules Pardon.'
The principal stood stunned and asked, "How you get dat?"
"Oh, I found it down in the basement," she yelled.
Suddenly, a man in a business suit stormed across the stage. He came to the principal and said, "I'm from the Department of Agriculture, and I have a few questions to ask."
Then a second man, dressed as a high-ranking police officer, walked in with a dog and said, "I'm from the police. I have a report about explosives in this building." Suddenly the dog started sniffing the ground and then walked up to the principal and sniffed his hands. The dog began to growl. "Sir, I have to ask you to come with me," the officer said.
"I de principal," the principal said.
The officer looked at him and replied, coolly, "I don't really care who you are. My dog is sniffing explosive residue on your hands. You're under arrest for suspicion of having unlicensed explosives."
"Wait!" the first man exclaimed, "We need to talk to him about all of the palm trees down in the basement. They appear to be a species native to Hawaii and therefore on the list of banned items. Do you have a valid horticulturist permit? A valid import license? We need to place him under arrest for suspicion of smuggling!"
The principal stared at them for a moment, stunned.
Then an extremely severe looking man, dressed all in black, walked in and asked, "Are you Daisho Kuno, father of Tatewaki and Kodachi Kuno?" He handed the principal a picture of a frowning young man, with a severely cropped haircut.
The principal looked at the photograph and began to cry. "That's my son, who's been missing for over three years." He pulled out a handkerchief and dried his eyes and then blew his nose, noisily. "Have you found my son?" he asked hopefully.
Tatewaki Kuno was staring at the stage as Ranma walked over. "Saotome-sama, what can I do for you?" he asked.
"Just come with me, and let's get this tearful reunion over with," Ranma said confusing the other boy. Ranma sighed at the blank look of incomprehension on Kuno's face and tossed him up onto the stage, and then leapt up after him. "Here!" he said, "Here's your son."
The principal looked carefully at Kuno who glared back at him. "Nope. Dis ain't my keiki," the principal said, holding his hands out.
"What?" Ranma exclaimed, "But he looks just like that photograph! Look at the resemblance!"
"My son, Tatewaki," the principal began.
"Tatewaki, you said?" Tatewaki asked, "But that's my name!"
"Then he is your son," the man in black said.
The principal protested, "No, no! Tatewaki was only fourteen! An' he was way shorter!"
"Yeah! Nearly four years ago! Or did you think he would stop growing or something?" Ranma said in exasperation. 'What a moron!' he thought, 'I'd forgotten he was so bad.'
"Let's buzz the brudda's hair and see!" the principal exclaimed, pulling out a battery powered hair clipper.
Kuno growled, "You, the principal of evil!" He readied his bokken for an attack.
"Wait!" Akane exclaimed, "Upperclassman Kuno! Look at him, he is your father!" Ranma turned and wondered when Akane had gotten to the stage.
Kuno stared at the gaudily clad older man, and said, "My father, he disappeared over three years ago, abandoning me and my sister. And YOU look nothing like him!" He swung his bokken, and the older man ducked under, but a small piece of paper fluttered out of the man's clothing. Kuno grabbed at the paper, scanned it, and said, in a stunned voice, "A photo, of my father!" He asked in a demanding voice, "How did YOU get this?"
The principal began laughing and said, "Dat's a picture of me, over t'ree years ago!"
"YOU LIE! My father's skin was far lighter than yours!" Kuno exploded.
"Gee, you suppose he got a tan in Hawaii?" Akane said, in a disgusted tone of voice.
"Enough chatter! Take this!" Kuno exclaimed as he made a furious overhead strike with his bokken, only to be met by a parry with the clippers, shredding the bokken.
"The very technique that took my hair over three years ago," Kuno gasped. He stepped back and said, "The Kuno family secret! The Wooden Sword Shredder!"
The principal gasped and asked, his face pale, "How do you know that name?"
"That proves it, you two are father and son," the man in black said.
The two Kuno's stared at each other and then, the principal took off his dark sunglasses, showing the much lighter skin around his eyes, and said, "My son, Tatewaki!" Tears streamed from his eyes.
"My Tachi!" the principal exclaimed as he headed toward his son with open arms.
"Daddy!" Kuno exclaimed as he ran toward his father. As they neared, Kuno swung a new bokken at his father, who blocked it with his clippers.
The man in black growled, "That's enough you two. Tatewaki Kuno, I'm here to ask if you would like to press charges!"
"Press charges?" the two Kuno's asked.
"Of course. Child Abandonment. After all, he did desert you and your sister," the man said patiently.
Kuno frowned for a moment and then said, "Yes! At last, my chance to pay you back for what you did to my hair, Daddy!" He turned to the man in black and bowed. Then he replied, "Please, take this unworthy one away. He has disrupted our lessons for entirely too long today!"
The man in black said, "Very well, it seems we have several charges to bring before the magistrate. Officer, do your duty!"
The last the students saw of the principal was him being dragged away by a squad of officers, some of them with very bad haircuts. The principal was unconscious and sporting several interesting bruises.
Akane elbowed Ranma and asked in a whisper, "You planned all of this, didn't you?"
Ranma smiled mysteriously and refused to answer.
At lunch, Souta gathered his courage and walked over to Ukyo, his nervousness plainly showing on his expressive face. After the debacle of the previous evening, when he wasn't able to see her, he was extremely concerned about their relationship, and where it might be heading. "Uh, Ukyo, can I talk to you for a moment," he stammered, glancing at the rest of the group, "Er, in private."
"Sure, Sugar," Ukyo replied, coolly. She stood up from her friends and walked off over to a semi-secluded area where no other students were currently sitting and sat back down.
"So what did you want to talk to me about, Souta?" Ukyo asked after a moment of awkward silence between the two of them.
"Er, well, uh," Souta said, then in a rush, "What did you think about that idiot of a principal this morning? And where did you come up with that pass?"
Ukyo quirked an eyebrow at him and said, "Well, I sure agree. That Kuno sure was an idiot. I can see where Tatewaki gets it from. Actually, Ranma had the pass in his locker, we stopped by on the way to the assembly and picked it up. For some reason, he gave it to me."
"Oh, well, I wonder how he knew about it," Souta said.
Ukyo shrugged her shoulders. Silence grew up around them again, as Souta began to fidget. Finally, Ukyo said, "Auntie Nodoka said you came by last night. I'm sorry I wasn't up for any company. I had some things on my mind and I needed to work through them."
To Souta's hypersensitive nerves, she appeared to be a bit distant, a little cooler than the last time they had talked. "Are you upset with me over something? Am I trying to go to fast?" he asked, plaintively.
Ukyo smiled tiredly and replied, "No, Souta. You've done nothing wrong. I've just received some news from home and that's got me worried. That's all it is."
"Oh, that's good. I was afraid something was wrong between us," Souta said with a sigh of relief. He sat down next to her and attempted to hold her hand, but she moved away.
"Don't!" she exclaimed.
A look of pain flashed across his face as he turned to her, the hurt showing in his eyes. "I thought we were together," he said softly.
"You thought wrong," Ukyo snapped, somewhat harsher than she intended. "Sugar," she said a bit gentler, "I like you, and it's been fun."
"Why do I sense a but coming?" Souta asked, bitterly.
Ukyo sighed deeply and replied, "I never meant to hurt anyone, least of all you. Souta, you know why I'm in Nerima, don't you?"
"Yes, you were chasing Saotome, but when you got here, he was already promised to Akane," Souta replied.
Ukyo said softly, "Yes, that's why I came. It was a matter of family honor, either I marry Ranma, or kill him. Well, the letter I received was from my father. He demands that I fulfill the pledge I made to him, and he ordered me to stay away from you."
"How does he know about us?" Souta asked, "And what are you going to do?" Ukyo could almost hear the sound of his heart breaking.
Ukyo swallowed noisily and replied, "I have no idea how he knew where I was, much less what I was or wasn't doing. The letter I got was a shock to me. I spent most of last night thinking about what I should do."
"Well, that explains the bags under your eyes," Souta said.
Ukyo closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose to calm herself down. Then with a deep heartfelt sigh, she continued, "My family means everything to me, and I must remove the stain on its honor. Because of that, I can't be with you anymore. And that hurts more than I thought it would, saying that to you. You've been very kind to me, and I know what I'm going to say to you is going to hurt. You're a dear friend, but that's all you mean to me. I had hoped that maybe things would change but they haven't. Now that my father has given me an ultimatum, I don't have the time I wanted to feel more for you."
"What ultimatum?" Souta asked.
"In the letter, he told me to have the matter resolved in the next few days, or he would essentially disown me," Ukyo said, stoically.
"Oh, well, shit," Souta said, as his face grew ashen.
"That about sums it up," Ukyo said with a wry smile, "You definitely have a way with words."
"So what are you going to do now?" Souta asked.
"I don't know, Sugar, I just don't know. The options I have aren't the best. I can force Ranma to marry me, which will break his heart, and Akane's, and destroy our friendship. I can force Ranma to commit seppuku, which isn't any better. Or I can, and that really isn't an appealing option," Ukyo replied.
"What?" Souta asked in astonishment.
Ukyo shrugged her shoulders again, and replied, "If I'm dead, I can't very well marry anyone. And that would remove the stain on my family honor."
"I won't let you do that," Souta growled. He reached for her and pulled her into a tight embrace, and whispered, "You'll think of something, I know you will."
"I'm sorry, Sugar," Ukyo whispered, "I'm truly sorry for what I've done to you."
Souta sighed deeply and replied, equally as soft, "I understand duty, Ukyo. Believe me, with my family, duty is extremely important." 'But I'm not giving up on you yet, Ukyo,' Souta thought with a bitter twist to his lips.
"Do you have any idea why Ukyo asked us to meet her here, Mom? And why did she want us in formal dress," Ranma asked Nodoka. He and Akane were sitting in the family room, Ranma's arm around Akane and Akane's head on his shoulder.
"Not really, dear. She just said to have you and Akane over for dinner," Nodoka replied, "And to make sure Genma stayed sober."
Konatsu entered the room, followed by Ukyo. The chef was dressed in a formal male kimono, her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, looking more mannish than she had for several weeks. Her face was calm and reposed. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me today," she began. Her face tightened slightly when she saw how close Ranma and Akane were sitting.
"It's always a pleasure, dearie," Nodoka said, "I don't get an opportunity to entertain that often, I'm glad you gave me the opportunity."
Ukyo sighed and said, "I hope you think it's a pleasure when the night is over." She turned to Ranma and asked, "When were you planning on telling me that you were giving me the building that my restaurant is in?"
Ranma frowned briefly and then replied, "The day I handed you the title to the building, I suppose. Probably as a Christmas present. I guess I was afraid that you would refuse it otherwise."
"That's why you've been working so hard," Akane said softly. Ranma smiled at her briefly.
"I probably would have at that, because that would have meant that I had lost," Ukyo said softly. 'Not that I was ever in the contest,' she thought. She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts, and then asked, "Mr. Saotome, what exactly was the arrangement between you and Mr. Tendo?"
"That my son would marry one of his daughters and carry on the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts," Genma replied, "And the two of them would end up with the house and the dojo."
"What was the arrangement between my father and you?" she asked.
Genma growled, "That our children would wed. He gave me that yatai as your dowry and as a bribe to take you with us."
"So why didn't you take me with you?" Ukyo asked.
"I could barely keep the two of us fed. I certainly couldn't feed you also," Genma said.
"You could have taken her to Mom. It would have still left us in this mess, but at least she would have had a normal life," Ranma interjected, "But as usual, all you were thinking of was your stomach."
Ukyo closed her eyes for a moment and then asked, "Ranma, what are your feelings about those two agreements?"
"You know what I think, Ukyo. I love Akane and desire to marry her. Pop has put us in a no-win situation. If I were to marry you, and uphold that agreement, I have ruined my family honor, as well as the Tendos. There will also be three people trapped in an unhappy situation. Akane and I will be miserable because we aren't together, and because of that I would end up hating you. Our friendship would be over and I know the marriage would not last long. When I marry Akane, at least the two of us will be happy. That still leaves you unhappy, as well as your honor and ours in tatters. I don't like that outcome much either, but it's the better choice. That is the older of the two agreements in any case," Ranma replied, not unkindly.
"I could make you happy," Ukyo said.
Ranma's face grew cold and he replied, "No one can make any one happy. I would be miserable knowing that the one I love was unhappy. I care for you Ukyo, but not in the way that you want me to." He glanced at Akane and saw her worried face, and hugged her.
"So if I were to insist that you fulfill your father's agreement with my father, what would you do?" she persisted.
"I think you know, Miss Kuonji," Ranma said, coldly, "I would be left with no choice but to refuse. And then, having destroyed my family honor, I would be left with only one option."
Akane gasped, and exclaimed, "NO! I won't let you leave me."
"Sorry, Akane," Ranma said, his voice filled with regret, "But what else could I do?"
Akane began to cry, and said, "No, you can't." She pulled Ranma to her and looked at Ukyo with hate-filled eyes. "I thought you were my friend," she spat.
"This isn't getting us anywhere," Genma said.
"Actually it is," Nodoka replied, "I think we know where my son's feelings are on the agreements that were made. That is, if we didn't already know. Now, Ukyo, what are your intentions in this matter?"
Ukyo face grew colder, sterner, as she replied, "I don't desire Ranma to commit seppuku. He is really an innocent in the whole matter. And having your husband kill himself would not be sufficient."
"I could divorce him, and that would allow you to marry him. That would almost satisfy the agreement," Nodoka suggested.
For the first time a look of horror appeared on Ukyo's face as she shuddered. "I certainly didn't expect that as a suggestion," the young girl said, "Thank you for that offer, but, ugh, I'd rather not." Ukyo walked over to Ranma and pressed her lips against his in a very passionate kiss.
"What was that for?" Ranma asked, as Akane began to fume. Ranma pulled Akane tighter to him.
"I needed to find something out," Ukyo replied, as she poured a glass of water over Ranma. She then repeated the kiss. Her face grew even colder as if she had decided something. She paused and then said formally, "If the son of the Saotome clan does not wish to fulfill his family obligation, then I will not force him to do so. I do not desire an innocent to die, and I'm sure that Akane would follow him."
A look of relief passed across the faces of the Saotomes.
"However," Ukyo continued, "That still leaves one option. I am registered as the son of my father. Therefore, nothing would prevent your son from marrying Akane, and I marrying the daughter."
Akane glared at Ukyo, who looked at her apologetically. "YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM, HE'S MINE!" she all but screamed, her battle aura beginning to show.
Ukyo knelt, and asked, formally, "I, Ukyo Kuonji, son of Hikaru Kuonji, wish to ask for your hand in marriage. Will you, Konatsu Saotome, daughter of Nodoka and Genma Saotome, do me the honor of becoming my spouse?" The room grew silent as everyone stared at Ukyo in shock.
Konatsu gasped and said, "Are you sure, Ukyo-sama?"
Ukyo sighed and said, "I promise to do all in my power to make you happy, Konatsu. I know that you love me, and while I don't know that I love you, I do care for you a great deal. Perhaps, in time that will grow into more. I do hope it does." She smiled sadly, and added, "And I did promise that I would always take care of you when you left your stepfamily. This allows me to fulfill both that promise and the promise that your adoptive father made with mine. This way the children will join." She looked thoughtfully at the kunoichi and sighed again. With a brief flicker of a smile she added, "I just asked you to marry me, Konatsu. I think you can simply call me Ukyo."
Konatsu said softly, "In that case, I will marry you, Ukyo." He turned to the rest and said, in an uncharacteristically strong voice, "I believe Ukyo and I need some privacy. I expect there's some things we need to discuss."
"I agree," Nodoka replied, "We'll leave you two alone." She turned to her husband who was making a beeline toward the liquor cabinet, and said, sharply, "Genma, kitchen, now!"
Genma halted in his tracks and turned and left the room, followed closely by his wife.
Ranma walked over and squeezed Ukyo's shoulder. "Are you sure about this, Ucchan?" she asked softly.
Ukyo looked up, tears in her eyes and replied, shakily, "It's the only way out that I could see, Ranchan. It's for the best really. You would never be happy working in the restaurant. And I would be miserable if you weren't happy. This way, you and Akane get to be together, I don't lose two of my friends, and I have someone who adores me."
Akane walked over and hugged Ukyo. "That was very brave of you, Ukyo," she said softly, "But why did you transform Ranma? I thought you were going to ask her to marry you."
Ukyo looked a bit sheepish, and replied, "I thought I'd have a bit of fun with you. After all, you won the man that I had been obsessing over. But to be honest, I knew after watching the two of you in Romeo and Juliet that hell would freeze over before he would leave you. I just had to be sure. Once I was sure about how Ranma felt about you, then I knew that my only option was to wed Konatsu."
"But why'd you kiss me? I mean both as a guy and as a girl?" Ranma asked.
"I needed to see what it was like. I've dreamed of kissing you ever since I knew about the agreement. I had to see if it was as good as I hoped. And then, to help convince me I was doing the right thing, I wanted to see if I could kiss a girl," Ukyo replied. She sighed and added, "Both kisses were all right, but there wasn't the spark that I expected."
"All right? What do you mean by just all right?" Ranma protested, her ego stung by the comment, "Akane tell her I'm a good kisser."
"Shut up, Ranma. No one needs to know how good you kiss except me," Akane said with a grin. "Thanks for doing this. I really hope the two of you become as happy as Ranma and I."
Ukyo sighed and said, "I've been considering this ever since I found out that your Mom adopted Konatsu." She shrugged, and added, with a brief smirk, "Besides, since I'm registered as a boy and Konatsu is registered as a girl, the paperwork is simpler. I get to be the groom, and he can be the bride."
"Well, congratulations to both of you," Ranma said. She traded glances with Akane and said, "Let's leave these two alone. If nothing else, they need to have their first kiss in private, and besides, I want to change back." The newly engaged couple blushed bright red. Ranma was about to make a wise crack, but Akane took her by the hand and walked out of the family room.
"Are you truly sure about this?" Konatsu asked.
Ukyo smiled tiredly and replied, "I'm not sure about anything at the moment, sugar, except that I'm tired of chasing after someone I can never have. I had a talk with Nabiki and she pointed out some unpalatable truths to me. My first love is running a restaurant. When I pictured being married, that's what I saw my husband and I doing, happily running an okonomiyaki restaurant, raising a few children, and growing old together. She asked me if Ranma would be happy doing that and I realized that he would be miserable. If somehow I had forced him into a marriage, I doubt it would have lasted very long, just as Ranma said. We just don't have that much in common. No, he should be with Akane, running a dojo, and I" She broke down and began to cry.
Konatsu pulled her into a hug.
Ukyo stiffened at the unexpected contact, but then relaxed into her fiancé's arms.
Carefully watching her eyes, he bashfully tilted her head up. The kunoichi kissed her, tentatively at first, but as Ukyo began to respond, he pressed down firmer. Konatsu felt like he had died and gone to heaven. The woman he loved was kissing him back.
"Enough," Ukyo said softly, "We still need to take this slowly. But thank you."
Konatsu said, just a bit bitterly, "Remember, I was taught to be a kunoichi, a companion. If I can't give you comfort, what good was all of that training?"
"I know all about that, but there was nothing artificial about that hug or that kiss," Ukyo said, "That was the hug of a friend, maybe more, and exactly what I needed." She paused and then asked, "You've changed. At first it was just the change in attire, but you've started being more assertive. What's going on with you?"
Konatsu blushed and replied, "Once I got away from my wonderful stepfamily and met you, I realized that I needed to change. Believe it or not, but I honestly thought that I was female." The kunoichi blushed and continued, "At least until Ranma-sama showed me the difference and I realized that I truly was male. That meant that the love I had for you wasn't forbidden, but I also knew that I wasn't acting like the man that you deserved. I decided I needed to try to become that man. Hence, the change in wardrobe occasionally, though it still feels weird to be in trousers."
"You've come a long way in a very short time, sugar. How did you manage that?" Ukyo asked.
Konatsu blushed and replied, "Nabiki has been teaching me how to become a man."
"WHAT!" Ukyo exclaimed.
"Oops, that didn't come out exactly right, I guess the ability to stick one's foot in one's mouth is a trait of all of the Saotome males," Konatsu stammered, "She's been giving me some pointers on how to act, and she gave me the name of a doctor who specializes in gender-confused people." He giggled and said, "Though I'm not his usual run-of-the-mill client, I suspect."
Ukyo gave him a puzzled look.
"He generally treats people who are born one gender and are undergoing surgery to change to the gender they think they truly are. I'm trying to convince myself that I truly am a male," Konatsu explained.
"Well, I think I can give you some pointers too," Ukyo said with a wicked laugh.
Konatsu chuckled lightly and then said, "I look forward to whatever training you would like to give me." Konatsu paused and then pulled her fully into his lap and then leaned forward and captured her lips again. To his surprise, he felt her lips part slightly. He hesitated for a moment and then slid his tongue gingerly into her mouth and began to deepen the kiss. Ukyo slid her arms around his neck and pulled them tightly together.
Ukyo sighed happily as she reluctantly parted from his kiss and said, "This will take some getting used to, Konatsu." She pulled away enough to look into his eyes and continued, "I need to let Father know what happened. The fact that I'm engaged to you should satisfy him, but he will want to meet you."
Konatsu looked at her nervously, and asked, "Do I have to?"
"Don't worry, he won't bite, I promise," Ukyo replied, a feeling of calmness coming from her now that she had successfully resolved her family obligation. She giggled prettily as she watched Konatsu blush, especially as he realized that her presence in his lap had caused a reaction. She added, "And he'll like you."
"Will he rush a wedding?" Konatsu asked.
Ukyo frowned thoughtfully and replied, "To be honest, Sugar, I don't know. I want to wait though. We need to get to know each other better, and I want you to take me out on some dates."
"What about Souta?" Konatsu asked very reluctantly.
"I told him we couldn't be together any more," Ukyo replied, a single tear rolling from her eye, a tear that Konatsu reached out and captured with one finger.
"You cared for him," Konatsu said.
Ukyo sighed, and said, "I liked him, but there wasn't any spark with him. He is fun to be with, but I'm comfortable around you. We'll be good together, you and I. And I chose you."
"Any regrets?" Konatsu asked, his eyes intent in their gaze.
"Of course. I regret that Father felt the need to dump his daughter off on the first boy that I had any interest in. I regret that Genma Saotome is an honorless cur. I regret that I had to break the heart of a boy that I cared for. I regret that the man who loves me is unsure of my feelings toward him," Ukyo said with a heavy sigh. She rubbed her eyes, and continued, "You are a warm, caring person, Konatsu. We share many of the same interests. You love me, and that's better than most couples start out in an arranged marriage. We'll be fine, Sugar." She giggled for a moment and then said, "I need to come up with something other than Sugar to call you. I wonder what name I can come up with."
"Well, Ko-chan might be a bit confusing, what with Kodachi and Mousse," Konatsu said with a chuckle. He stood up, still cradling her in his arms and said, "I suspect they're waiting the meal for us. Shall we join them?"
"I am capable of walking on my own, you know," Ukyo said with a smile. 'He's a lot stronger than I thought he was,' she thought, feeling strangely comforted by being in his arms.
Author's Notes: Thanks for all of the reviews for this last chapter. I'm glad to see that it is still being read by so many. As always, constructive criticisms and comments are welcomed and appreciated. For those that are curious, yes, I deliberately picked Daisho as the first name of Tatewaki and Kodachi. For those unfamiliar with the meaning of Tatewaki, it is 'Bringing a sword.' And his knickname, Tachi is a a kind of sword.Kodachi is a kind of Japanese sword. And Daisho is a pair of swords, a long sword, typically a katana, and a short sword, or dagger. Specific comments are below:
Xero Reflux: More than likely Copy Cat Ken will show up. If I remember that episode correctly, it was kind of funny. This time around, Ranma avoided the dragon whisker. I think I made a brief mention or two about that in a couple of the earlier chapters. Probably some sort of mental note that Ranma made about being glad he remembered about that and didn't drink the soup.
Daouid: Thanks. And as you can see, that was my intention on how to solve Ukyo's dilemma. Though, I'm not sure how Konatsu feels about being the bride. VBG.
Kyuubi-sama: The Amazons have Happosai, after he got turned into a pig. He'll probably be spending quite a lot of time that way. Souta hasn't given up, at least not yet, but now he'll have to deal with an enraged fiancé if he tries anything.
Redgrrl: Well, I'm around volume ten of the second edition of the manga now, and there's about thirtysix total, so yeah, around a hundred chapters sounds about right. That is if the muse doesn't desert me.
Dragon Man 180: It has been several years since it happened so he's forgotten some of the things that he went through. There's a little explanation in this chapter about that. Yes, Ranma will know the secret, after all he had it used on him often enough, and one thing Ranma can do is figure out a technique after he's seen it a few times. One scorched panda coming up.
Hououza: Ryu Komon(Sp) will be showing up. After all, that's one more mess the panda created, now wasn't it? Of course, it won't be the same since he'll have a hard time passing himself off as Ranma this time. The Hibiki's are fun to write about. Need to have some more scenes with them in one of the next chapters. Maybe the Christmas scenes that I'm working on.
Weebee: Unless Happosai shows up again, I'm not sure how I'd pull of the splitting incense arc, though, I think you're right about what would happen. Nabiki eventually finds someone. Not soon though, and no it won't be Kuno. I have something else in mind for him. Ranma won't act like a cat, just have a few of their abilities. The declaration of woman arc, well, that would be telling now wouldn't it? Herb will show up, there's really no way around that. But what happens when he does?
Shinigami: Well, with a bit of a nudge from her father, Ukyo made a decision. The hot spring scene was fun to write, though it took me a while to figure out how to make it funny. Ranma would hang Genma out to dry if he tried to take his kids. And Akane would serve roast panda for dinner.
Psycho King: Thanks. And you are correct. Ukyo picked Konatsu. Though since this is the Ranmaverse, who says the road to love won't have bump or two. I liked writing the scene at the end with Kasumi, especially the line about Akane and Ranma being ready to be an Aunt and an Uncle. Yes, unfortunately, Souta is turning into a saner version of Kuno.
Lerris: Actually, I tend to agree with you about the insults. Keeping Ranma angry does tend to lead him around. On the other hand, insulting Akane doesn't really seem to be the right way to handle her. Thank you for the compliments about the plot, etc. This Ranma knows he can kill to protect Akane, but skill wise he's still not quite up to par with the Ranma that fought Saffron. Could he snap if Akane was in danger? You betcha. Will he? I don't know yet.
Firestorm2004: I have no idea how long this story is going to be. If the muse is willing, I will continue it until we get past the Saffron arc, and then see what happens after that. If you're talking about Kalen Darkmoon's Resolution, I agree, it's a good story. The format is a bit hard to get used to, but it was one of those that made me want to write my own. Though, I doubt I'll ever write any lemon scenes like he has.
Borg Rabbit: Yes, Ranma knows what the Fire Burst technique is. He just didn't want the two fools to get wise to him. What he couldn't remember was the trip to the springs to find the scroll, though after he went through it this time, some of the details came back.
Innortal: I guess I wasn't as clear with my writing as I thought I was. Thanks for giving me the chance to clear it up in this chapter. What I meant was he didn't remember the episode when they went to find the scroll. He definitely wouldn't forget the actual technique, not after all the times the old freak used it on him. Cologne's research is going very slowly. Mainly because I haven't worked out how she's going to cure them, if at all. VBG
Silverbullet23: Thanks. I'm still basically keeping in the manga timeline, more or less. The Happo fire burst is volume 9, at least in my copy, so that was the time for it.