5-September-06

Title:Discerning Through Emotions pt. 2
Author: MSMoon
Warnings: N/A
Feedback: As long as it's constructive ;)
Characters: Bijo, Idlewild, Betsuni, Cohanna, Judi, Zafilia, Mizuno, Torako, Guhdiva, Evanthia, Kawari and Rygel, Cain Darkmoor and High Priest Thellious Quey © EverQuest…or something. They sure ain't owned by me.
Disclaimers: I do not own EverQuest. I am poor. Suing me wouldn't really profit much. However, I do own my own characters from EQ. I would be somewhat upset if someone used my or anyone else's characters without my permission. So if you want to use them please ask.
Rated: PG

Chapter 34

Kawari sighed, trying to avoid yawning as she was dragged around the temple of Rodcet Nife. Judi had insisted she come on her visit to the temple in a see-through attempt to sway her sister towards service to Rodcet Nife. And...well, no one argued when Judi was insisting. She was just glad that they had moved outside. At least now she could admire the fish in the pond.

"Kawari?" Judi asked, breaking Kawari's train of thought.

"eh?"

Judi smiled. "Would you like Cohanna here to give you a walk around the pond?" She asked pointing to the young Cleric apprentice.

"Uh, sure." Cohanna and Kawari began walking around the pool as Judi continued talking with the high priest.

"So, are you going to become a Cleric?" Cohanna asked.

"No. I don't think so..."

"It's not so bad you know."

"Why did you decide to become a Cleric?" Kawari asked.

Cohanna blinked in surprise. "Well...I didn't really decide..."

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"Well...my parents signed me up for classes..."

"Your parents?"

"Yes. They were both Clerics of Rodcet Nife, and so were my grandparents on both sides, and so on and so forth so far back that no one remembers a time when my family did anything else."

"But...what about what you want?"

Cohanna shrugged. "I hadn't really decided when I came of age. Besides, it isn't terrible."

Kawari wondered briefly if Cohanna was trying to convince herself instead of Kawari. She would've tried to change the subject and start a new conversation, but she saw a familiar figure leaning against the wall just beyond the temple entrance.

"Uh, I'll be right back." She mumbled as she quickly headed over to someone who didn't bore the living day-lights out of her. "Idlewild! What are you doing here?"

Idlewild smirked. "Despite popular opinion, the world won't come to an end if I set food on these grounds."

Kawari laughed. "That depends on how you look at things."

Idlewild chuckled and glanced behind Kawari and to the left. "Who's your friend?"

"Huh?" Kawari looked over her shoulder and saw Cohanna approaching timidly. "Oh...Uh, Idlewild this is Cohanna."

"Cohanna Sunspot." Cohanna announced proudly with a friendly smile.

"...Cohanna this is Idlewild."

"Idlewild Nightshade." Idlewild countered easily allowing her voice to deepen as she smirked. Cohanna's eyes doubled in size and Kawari could've sworn she saw the Cleric visibly stiffen and shiver.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm visiting a friend." Idlewild said. "Now, why don't you, go back to your temple and pray." She continued narrowing her eyes. Idlewild's eyes were already thin and close set, and narrowing them only made her face seem to harden and look more menacing. "Pray that I don't take it into my head to start praying to my god." The resulting effect was Cohanna fleeing without looking back at all.

"By Bayle, I hope I can do that someday." Kawari murmured, impressed.

"Yeah, maybe. So what are you dong here?"

Kawari began to fidget slightly. "Uh, Judi wanted me to come with her while she talked to the high priest...She's a warrior, but she's a Warrior of Rodcet Nife you see..."

"Really? I didn't know that." Idlewild said looking off at the temple, seeming unbothered by the entire situation. "That's good."

Kawari sighed mentally. Nothing really seemed to bother Idlewild. "It is?"

"Of course. You may not realize it now, but staying close with your siblings is important. Doing mundane things like this will help you to understand them better."

"You say that but...Judi only wanted me to come so I'd see how wonderful it is to serve Rodcet Nife."

Idlewild smiled and shrugged indulgently. "It just shows he concern for your well-being."

"I suppose so."

"And it also shows that she's trying to really relate to you.. You ought to try meeting her half way."

"Yeah...Alright...but don't even try to convince me to 'relate' to Evanthia...at least in any area other than kin."

Idlewild smirked again. "I said you should try to relate, not do the impossible...I guess that means you haven't told them about your actually choosing a class."

Kawari shrugged. "I was going to say so at dinner, but things came up."

"Figures. The seven of you live together; you think you'd have plenty of opportunities to tell them all what's what."

"Yeah, they always enjoy me telling them what's what." Kawari said with a laugh. They were interrupted by a strange, unfamiliar, high-pitch laugh. Kawari blinked as another woman, wearing a robe identical to Ildewild's, approached Idlewild form behind.

"And so, I find you here!" The woman cried pointing at Idlewild even though she certainly didn't need to as they were standing so close. Idlewild slid a glace to the woman.

"So, it's the perverted sorceress/bondage queen of Qeynos..."

"Aye, and I'm fit-to-be-tied with you, my rival!" the woman announced.

Idlewild smirked shaking her head. "Kawari Nightsbane, this is Betsuni Mirkwater, thought we all just call her Betti." Betsuni gave Kawari a surprised once-over. Kawari repeated Betsuni's look...the woman had shockingly white hair held back in a firm braid and tightly set gray eyes.

"Nice to meet you." She said cordially.

"Likewise." Betsuni replied in a surprising show of manners.

"Kawari?" Kawari cringed as she turned to face Judi. She winced inwardly to see Cohanna and the High priest behind her.

"Hello, Sister. You remember Idlewild and this is Betsuni."

"Betsuni Mirkwater, this is Judi Nightsbane." Idlewild said, completing the introductions. Betsuni scrutinized Judi carefully.

"I'd say 'it's nice to meet you', but..." here, Betsuni cocked her head to the side, looking over the high priest and his apprentice who were standing right beside Judi. "...I'm not entirely sure it is..."

"Now, now. Judi here is a staunch Warrior of Rodcet Nife." Idlewild informed.

"...So, what you're saying is, I should be nice to her or..."

"Or else, she'll mop the floor with you. Not that these floors need moping or anything." Idlewild said with a grin. Even Judi smiled at that comment.

"Why are you two here anyway?" Kawari asked.

"I just followed Idlewild." Betsuni announced, putting her hands on her hips and looking away disinterestedly.

"I always just drop by when I'm in a mood..." Idlewild said with a sigh. That seemed to surprise a few people.

"Not that I care what you do..." Betsuni began. "...but why come here...why not just find solitude in our own guild?

Idlewild scoffed. "Who would want to be alone there?" She joked shaking her head. "No. Here everything is clean and pure...it reminds me of my family."

"You never mention your family..." Kawari noted.

"I wasn't even aware you had family." Betsuni said.

"I never wanted to bring them harm..." Idlewild said with a shrug. "There are few members of my family left now."

"She has a sister in Freeport." A disembodied male voice announced. They all turned to see Master Thelious Quey approaching. "A very strong and lovely young woman indeed."

"Master Quey..." Idlewild said moving forward and bowing in respect. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, and as I see it, fate must be intervening. Why else would I find you here, at a temple to the Prime Healer?" he said with a gentle smile.

"Yes, but why have you come?" Idlewild persisted.

"For the sake of your sister. Eurekain and Tiaret have left Freeport in secret and she is alone. She is...very distraught."

"For the life of me, I can't picture Bijo distraught."

"Yet she is. Much has happened that you are not aware of, my dear. I am sure much has happened that I yet do not know of." He said releasing a sigh. "I believe your presence would help her. She will need those who love her at her side."

A moment passed and everyone's attention was focused on Idlewild as she considered all the priest had said.

"...I'm going to Freeport." She announced looking to Kawari.

Kawari nodded. "I...I'd like to go with you...if it wouldn't be too much trouble." She said.

Idlewild shook her head, looking to Judi. "That's not my decision to make. It will take quite a while just to get there..."

"You won't have to worry over a long and perilous journey." Master Quey announced. "We'll come by the road I took. It takes less than half an hour to get from here to there."

Judi sighed deeply before nodding. "You'd better take care of yourself." She threatened her younger sister, although it seemed like more of her way of showing affection.

"Ill look out for her." Idlewild said. Judi nodded in acceptance. Idlewild turned to Master Quey. "Lead the way."

Idlewild and Kawari followed Thellious Quey outside the city. As they walked along the curve of the wall, they approached a bookstand with a large tome set upon it.

"Is this some game of yours, Priest?" Idlewild asked slightly irritated.

"I assure you, child, this isn't a game."

"Why are we at this book?" Kawari asked curiously not taking her eyes off the mammoth book in question.

"Read it." The priest said.

Idlewild exhaled noisily and approached the book. She began to gaze at the text only to find it was a language she didn't know. However, she didn't wish to turn away. The words blurred together, and she felt her stomach turn slightly. She reached down and set her hand upon the book to steady herself.

"This is just making me sick, Pr—" as she turned she realized she wasn't in Qeynos anymore. In fact, she doubted she was even on Norrath anymore. She was standing on a platform with a large stone carving in front of her. Where her hand had settled against the book, it was now placed upon the stone. She stepped off the platform and examined it. It was only when she backed up that she noticed the word 'Qeynos' delicately carved into the monument. Then Kawari appeared before the monument swaying.

"Whoa..." Kawari groaned as she looked around.

Idlewild grinned. "I see..." Kawari jumped, turning around. She joined her at the monument's base, wide-eyed.

"What just happened?" She asked excitedly.

"The book is connected to this stone...it's an instant teleporter."

"Seriously?" Kawari asked shrilly.

"Yes. Watch."

"Watch what?"

"Watch the stone." Idlewild said dully, gesturing to said ornament.

"Oh." After Kawari had stopped talking, Idlweild actually felt a bit better. And, just as she suspected, Master Quey appeared.

"Whoa!" Kawari gasped.

"See?"

"That always makes me dizzy." Master Quey admitted as he joined them.

"You don't show it." Idlewild said. "Where are we?"

"We are in the Plane of Knowledge."

"I assume it has portals to all cities." She asked, looking around curiously.

"As well as a few other places."

"Why isn't everyone using it?" Kawari asked. "This would save so much time on travelers..."

"They will be using it." The Priest grunted as he began walking down the path. "We cannot keep it a secret much longer. For now, only certain guild leaders know of it, but soon..."

"It'll out-port Freeport." Idlewild finished.

"Yes, well, let us be on our way." He said leading them to the Freeport monument.

"How does the return journey work?" Kawari asked.

"Just touch the monument."

"All right..." Kawari was the first to try, then Idlewild, followed by Master Quey.

"That is most unsettling..." Idlewild mumbled, messaging her brow.

"It lessens slightly with time...or so I'm told. I don't use it often." He said. "Come. I'll lead the way." He said leading them out of the hidden tunnel.

"Stay close." Idlewild said to the still wide-eyed Kawari.

Bijo was laying somewhere soft...someone was holding her hand and stroking her hair. She felt warm and secure...which was a far cry from the lonely despair that'd shattered her only...when had it been?

Bijo opened her eyes to find herself lying in the lap of the most beautiful women she'd ever seen. The woman was holding her hand and stroking her hair, smiling at her lovingly. Her dark hair shown brightly, and her skin seemed to glow.

"You know me, don't you, Bijo dear?" The woman said. Bijo blinked, thinking of who this woman could be.

"N-no..." then her eyes widened and she gasped and her heart leapt in recognition. She did indeed know... It was Erollissi Marr! The goddess herself! "Yes, my Lady...I know you." She said, a strange fear gripping her.

"Why are you hurting so, Bijo, my dear?" Erollisi asked.

Bijo felt her heart rend all over again. "Everyone I've loved leaves me.."

"Who has left you, love?"

"My sister left long ago..." Bijo bowed her head, unable to look upon the goddess in her shame. "...my love wasn't enough for her."

"Your sister simply cannot show her love for you in the same ways that you express your love for her...she does return to you when she can." Erollisi reminded. "Not all people can show love in the same way, but love is still love." She said with a smile.

"Sometimes people can warp what love is and make it so wrong though..." Bijo admitted. Good intentions voiced in the name of love were often met with a dismal end.

"Indeed...what else troubles you so?"

"All my childhood friends are gone; they never even considered my feelings. They've gone to find my sister...because I haven't done enough to help...the situation."

"I know of your sister, sweetheart. And I will be visiting her soon." Erollisi said with a mischievous smile. "Love is gentle and patient, dear heart." The goddess reminded. "You have done all things possible by love's standards...forcing yourself on your sister or friends when they do not need you is selfish and overbearing...no one profits from it, and it is not a labor done for love's sake."

"...there's a man..."

"I know."

"...I just don't know anymore. It's so hard to tell...My emotions just get the better of me...and I get so confused…and...if everyone ends up leaving anyway...how can I know if he'll always be by my side, instead of leaving like the others?"

"My dear heart, all you need to know is that those who love you most have gathered around you. Take hope in their presence, rely on their strength...Know that their love for you is as honest as your love for them. You will find the peace your soul seeks from this." Erollisi smiled down at Bijo warmly. "Indeed, your kind do only last for a season; but, if you love the way that you are meant to, you live more vibrantly." Bijo didn't know what to say to that. With everything she'd said, the Lady had comforted her as best she could...she honestly didn't expect anyone save Master Quey to be beside her, and it was more than she deserved. But perhaps what her lady meant was that she should be content with what she had instead of focusing on what she couldn't change. "I will grant you a gift that many still do not have. I shall grant you Discernment. You will be able to discern where love truly lies. No matter how well the guise, you will know those who brandish love for their own sake and those who feel the emotion and yet cannot speak at all."

"Thank you, my Lady."

Erollissi drew Bijo into her arms and held her gently against her chest. "Love? That last issue you've been worrying about so much? The answer will be there, right in front of you, when you wake up. That much I can assure you of." Bijo closed her eyes, lost in the comfort in the embrace.

Bijo felt herself waking up, and was surprised to find herself in that same safe, warm embrace.

"Are you all right?" The deep rumble confused her. She looked up...and found herself staring into the face of Cain Darkmoore. Erollisi's words echoed in her ears.

"The answer will be there, right in front of you, when you wake up..."

A deep blush covered her face as she ducked away only to wind up pressed against his chest. Though, it wasn't an entirely unpleasant sensation. She felt the rumble of his chuckle before she heard it.

"I think you'll be fine." He said with a sigh of relief.

"When...how long have you been here?" she asked

His tone became serious. "...I carried you here from the docks. I haven't left." By his manor, she knew he wasn't rubbing it in or bragging.

"That wasn't necessary..." she mumbled, feeling as though she'd bothered him.

"Yes it was." She smiled against his chest. "Actually, I'm surprised your not upset...considering."

"Considering what?"

"Well...I am holding you..."

Though her cheeks burned she shrugged. "Your intentions are honest." She admitted. For that comment, he had no reply. The goddess's gift had allowed her to feel the concern, regret, relief and hope he felt upon her waking...she honestly couldn't find it in herself to be scared when she knew his emotions so well.

"Are you hungry?" He asked after a moment.

"No."

"You big, fat liar." Both of them turned to the doorway only to find Idlewild leaning against the door frame.

"Who are you calling fat?" Bijo groused with a surprising reaction speed. She pushed herself into a half reclining position and glared at Idlewild.

"From this angle it seems you might've grown a bit sideways." Idlewild informed.

"That means nothing coming from you." Bijo shot back. Cain only looked between the two confused. He'd never seen Bijo behave in this way...well except when she was around him of course.

Idlewild pretended to be offended. "Oh, that's it, sister. You and me, anytime, any place. You can just bring it."

"It has been brought." Bijo said turning her nose up slightly. There was a pause.

"...Did you just say, 'it has been brought.'?" Idlewild asked half smirking.

"This from the woman who said 'bring it.' What exactly am I supposed to be bringing?" the two chuckled.

"Master Quey's bringing up some soup." Idlewild announced. She then eyed Cain. For a moment, Cain felt as though he had more to fear from this woman concerning Bijo than he did from Master Quey.

"Idlewild, this is Warlord Cain Darkmoore." Bijo announced. Idlewild's eyebrows rose as she considered this man. "Cain, this is Idlewild, my little sister." This time it was Cain considering Idlewild.

"Pleasure." He said politely.

"Make no assumptions." Idlewild countered.

"Behave yourself." Bijo scolded lightly.

"I'll try, but it's not something I excel at."

Bijo sighed turning back to Cain and whispered. "Don't fret over her. She has male dominance issues."

"You're sure it isn't extreme protective issues?" Cain whispered back.

"Who's got shoes?" Idlewild asked confused. Bijo moved to stand up, but Idlewild moved to stop her. "Sit."

"What am I, a pet of yours?"

"By order of Master Thellious Quey." Idlewild said crossing her arms.

"Now that's irony for you; a Bloodsaber enforcing the will of a Priest of Marr. Fabulous." Bijo bit back, but she didn't disobey.

"A what?" Cain asked looking between them confused.

"Oh yes." Bijo announced, with a strange measure of pride. "My little sister here is a Necromancer under the service of Bertoxxulous."

Cain paused considering this. "...So, you're a Cleric of the Goddess of Love..."

"That's right." Bijo answered.

"...and your sister is a Necromancer of the Plaguebringer."

"Exactly." Idlewild confirmed. She then turned to look over the room. "I must say, this temple has come quite a long way. It was imposing when we were children, now it's overbearing in its magnificence." She announced, unperturbed by Cain's confused glances between the two of them.

"Ah-ha! Here, I leave you for ten minutes, and look how I find you." Rygel said as he entered the room.

"Bijo, this is Rygel. He's the one who told us of what happened." Cain announced.

"Yes, I remember you...have you met my sister?"

"Not officially, but I knew she was related to you."

"How so?" Bijo asked.

"Well, you're both very beautiful, even if in different ways."

"Such as?" Idlewild prodded skeptically.

"Well, Bijo has that pure, saintly beauty." He said smiling at Bijo. Then he gave Idlewild a worried look. "You're gorgeous in that 'tie-me-down-and-hurt-me' kind of way...Not that I don't like that, of course. But there's a time and a place for that sort of thing, and it is not in a temple to the Marr twins. Ho-ho, no!"

Bijo laughed heartily. "He's got you pegged!" Even Idlewild had a half smirk on her face.

"Of course, the fact that you seem to be an enemy of this order, yet you walk freely with the high priest lent some weight to the situation." Rygel said.

Idlewild looked at him. "Hello Pot. This is the kettle. You're black." She said with a charming smile.

"Now, now, my dear, I never said I was on good terms with the priest of Marr. Just a casual observation."

"Likewise." Bijo giggled again at their antics.

"Well, that is certainly a welcome sound." Master Quey announced as he entered the room carrying a tray.

"Sorry for all this fuss, Master Quey." Bijo said taking the offered soup.

"Oh, nonsense, my dear. This temple hasn't seen this much excitement in ages. And we do need excitement from time to time. Keeps us on our toes." Bijo smiled, realizing what Erollisi had meant. The ones who loved her were all around her.

"Besides, everyone knows this was just a ruse to sample some of the temple's famous soup." Idlewild grumbled good-naturedly. "It's common knowledge that it's good for the soul."

"Indeed." Bijo said shaking her head as she took a sip. Warm comfort food and wonderful company...what more could a person want?

It was well over an hour before Bijo was released from everyone. Even then, Idlewild was right beside her as they walked home.

"I feel so foolish." Bijo murmured.

Idlewild gave her a sideways glance. "If it were me...this would either happen more often or sooner. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think the problem is you hate to ask for help."

"Hey there, Pot. This is your friend Kettle. You know you're looking awfully black today." Bijo shot back, mimicking Idlewild's words from before.

Idlewild stared at her for a moment. "I see you've been developing your sarcasm. It is best to learn from the master, I suppose." She noted with a dry humor. "I ask for help when I need it. Till then I say 'shove it' and move on my way. You like to think you can go on and on devoting every bit of energy you have loving everyone that comes and goes."

"With special emphasis on the going." Bijo mumbled.

"I think you only just figured that out. At lest I hope you've figured that out."

"...What, that people leave?"

"No. How much toll it takes to care for people that...aren't as considerate as you are." Bijo gave her a look and Idlewild met her gaze. "You remember those strawberry tarts Mrs. Ironlattice used to make when we were kids?" Bijo nodded. "When we were both still quite young, and you'd just gotten a position to serve as a simple maiden of the temple...You'd make sure to stop by there and buy me some tarts...just because you knew I liked them. You always learn what people like and dislike so you can go out of your way, without being asked, to cater to them. That can only last for so long with out reciprocation...or you'll just end up burning yourself out."

Bijo thought over that for a moment realizing the truth in it. Then she looked up to see all the lights in her home were lit.

"Did I leave the lights on?" she wondered out lout.

"Hmm...No. I brought someone with me from Qeynos that I want you to meet. She's going with Rygel right now to the market for a few things. I'm afraid we left the lights on."

"I see...you sent her to town, this late at night, with a Rogue?"

"Who better to keep her out of trouble than one who knows it so well?"

"Point made." Bijo said, covering a yawn.

"Come on. You've had a busy day."

"I want to meet your friend, though."

"We'll be here in the morning."

"You promise?"

Idlewild smiled. "I promise."

"You what!"

Everyone cringed as Evanthia's screech reached a unsettling decibel. The only one unaffected by it seemed to be Judi.

"I said, 'I let Kawari go to Freeport with Idlewild.'" The sisters were only just now sitting around the table for their evening meal, and Judi had just mentioned 'Kawari's gone to Freeport with Idlewild.' As if she were talking about the weather...sure the others had been a bit shocked, but Evanthia was the only one who seemed devastated by the matter.

"Whatever for!"

"Idlewild had a small crisis come up with her sister. Thelious Quey had come to find her to bring her back and Kawari wanted to go with her."

"Oh, so now we just allow her to do whatever she wants?" Evanthia demanded. "You never let me get away with anything when I was her age!"

"Oh please." Judi grumbled, quickly growing tired of having to defend the decision. "You would've been able to get away with murder at her age."

"She has a point." Zafilia pointed out. "You whiled away the days shopping when you were Kawari's age. We've been demanding a lot of her, and she's yet to slough off from her responsibilities."

"Yes, but I knew what I wanted when I was her age. Kawari doesn't know what she wants! She's young and impressionable, and she may just follow that Idlewild to the Plane of Disease if she admires her so much!"

Mizuno snorted. "Once again, you're looking at yourself instead of Kawari." She announced. Mizuno did not like over-dramatizations, and Evanthia was very good at making mountains out of moll hills. "You were young and impressionable at her age; Kawari is stubborn and relentless."

"Aye." Torako said with a nod. "She may not know exactly what she wants, but she certainly is aware of what she doesn't want."

"Well, actually—" Mizuno began, but was interrupted when Evanthia slammed her hands down on the table and pushed herself into a standing position.

"I cannot believe this! You're all behaving as though Idlewild is nothing! She's a Necromancer! She cannot be trusted! And you'll regret letting her have our sister!" with that Evanthia rushed upstairs to her room

Judi sighed and looked at Guhdiva. "Pass the peas."

Guhdiva blinked in shock but nodded and handed her the requested dish. "Shouldn't we..."

"No. Leave her. She'll feel better once she's slept on things. She's much too sensitive to the issue now." Zafilia said nodding resolutely.

"You deal with her. I've had enough of all this." Judi said stabbing her roast beef with her fork irritably. "Father and Mother put me in charge of us; I don't much like my next-to-youngest sister questioning my judgment. And it seems like that's all she seems to do lately."

"Oh really?" Zafila asked, raising an eyebrow. "They put you in charge."

"Essentially, yes." Judi said with a nod. "I am the oldest. Sure, you back me up, but still. I make the decisions."

"..uh huh." Zafilia murmured skeptically.

"Do you mind me asking why you really let Kawari go?" Guhdiva asked carefully.

Judi sighed. "She wanted to go. I mean, really wanted to go. And Idlewild wanted her to go too...But she wouldn't even ask until she had my say-so, and that is admirable." She sighed and swallowed what she'd been chewing. "Besides, Kawari's getting to that age where she's capable of making decisions without us around...I'd like her to know we're not against her."

"Well put." Mizuno said. "Besides, as I was going to say before Evanthia's tirade; Kawari has decided on a class already."

"What?" Torako asked.

"When did this happen?" Judi asked, Zafilia and Guhdiva were now paying careful attention to their quiet sister as well.

"Around our lunch together be exact."

"That reminds me...we never saw you in town the other day." Zafilia said.

"That's right. We went to Crow's."

"Crow's?" Torako asked.

"Yes. We hardly ever go out for a nice meal, and I felt Kawari could use a break. She seemed to be wilting from the constant "Choose a class" problem."

"Well thought of, Sister." Zafilia said with a smile. "She does need to remember how to have fun with us occasionally."

"Aye. I had asked Sir. Lance and Idlewild to accompany us." Mizuno said, smirking into her mug as she took a drink. She could literally hear the crickets chirping outside as her sisters took that in.

"That's why they were there with you when you all came in!" Guhdiva announced as if it came to her by divine revelation.

"Yes. We did enjoy ourselves. After a discussion with Idlewild on her qualities, likes and dislikes, Kawari and Idlewild came to a decision."

"And you intend to tell us what that is." Judi wasn't actually asking...but it wasn't quite a command either.

"Well, Kawari had wanted to tell everyone yesterday, but you two and Evanthia were in town." Mizuno said with a shrug. "She's pretty sure she wants to become a Paladin of the Marr twins." Mizuno's grin was almost radiant.

"The Marr twins?" Zafilia asked stunned.

"Yes. Idlewild pointed out that Kawari likes to fight and help others so the class of Paladin would be best."

"Idlewild's sister is a Cleric of Erollissi..." Judi announced, a bit shocked.

"Well then...I suppose it's a good thing you let Kawari go to Freeport. She may be able to discuss the class with her." Mizuno said smiling as she took a bite of her peas. "Tora, these peas are excellent."

"Thanks."

Bijo got up from the night's rest feeling refreshed and strangely content. It was quite a feat since she really hadn't resolved much of anything. She released a breath, refusing to let panic set in before there was any cause to panic. She had a guest...two actually.

"Good morning." She said cheerfully as she walked into her kitchen.

"Good morning." Kawari's young voice was not what she'd expected, and when she saw her Bijo stopped in her tracks and stared at her.

"I take it you see it too." Idlewild observed without even looking up from the paper she was looking at.

"See what?" Kawari asked, looking between the sisters. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Kawari." Idlewild said, finally looking up. "Sister, sit down; you're swaying." Bijo nodded dumbly and sat beside Idlewild, still staring at Kawari.

"What is it?" Kawari asked, looking at Idlewild expectantly.

Idlewild looked at Kawari and then to Bijo. "Does my sister here remind you of anyone, Kawari?"

Kawari looked at Bijo carefully. "She looks a bit like Guhdiva."

Idlewild nodded. "Indeed she does. But do you realize that she also looks an awful lot like you?"

Kawari laughed, and then took Idlewild's expression into account. She stared at Bijo for a while before swallowing rather hard. "I...I suppose she does, but our eyes and hair aren't alike at all."

"No, you're hair looks more like mine." Idlewild said. Kawari looked at the color of Idlewild's hair and nodded.

"Mother." Bijo murmured dumbly at last. "She looks almost exactly like our mother."

"I do?" Kawari asked surprised.

"You do." Idlewild said with a nod. "I couldn't tell right away due to how dark it was, but when we finally got into the daylight it shocked me."

"You never showed it." Kawari observed.

"Do I ever?"

"Point made."

"You said your parents live near Freeport didn't you?" Idlewild asked.

Kawari nodded. "In Farfield." Idlewild and Bijo shared a look. "Does that mean something?" Kawari asked.

"Our mother was from Farfield." Idlewild said at last. "She grew up there."

"We could be related!" Kawari said astounded, finally catching on.

"I think I need to go out for a walk." Bijo mumbled tiredly.

"You haven't eaten breakfast." Idlewild said.

"I'll take some with me." Bijo said, going over to the stove and putting the breakfast that was there into carriable trays.

"Uh huh...and who is it that's going to help you eat all that?" Idlewild asked suspiciously.

"I need to go and talk with Cain."

"I see."

"I'll be back soon." She said as she made her way towards the door. She turned and smiled. "But don't come looking for me."

Idlewild smiled down at her newspaper. "All right. Be safe."

Bijo made her way over to the Bunker, and found Cain exactly where she assumed she would. He was grooming Teran. The horse was eyeing Cain curiously, and it was obvious he'd been there a while.

"Cain?" Bijo asked causing him to jerk out of his revere. He looked at her questioningly. "I brought breakfast." She said with a smile. He stared at her as if he'd never heard of the word. "Well, are you coming?" She asked as she turned to walk back to his quarters. She didn't have to ask twice, he was walking behind her, still staring at her in shock.

She set the things down on his table and looked up to find him standing behind the closed door. She stopped and stilled herself, and sure enough, the goddess's gift began to show her what he was feeling. Dread, fear, hope, worry, regret all the same things all over again. She stood a moment longer and actually felt his worry of approaching her. He couldn't control himself, he had realized it, and he would die before he broke her trust in him again.

"Cain, come here." She commanded, pointing to the spot in front of her. He shifted from one foot to the other uncomfortably before he slowly walked over and stood before her. "You're too tall." She observed. He opened his mouth as if he wasn't sure what to say, but before he could, she stretched up on tip-toe and wrapped her arms around his neck. He released a heavy sigh that rustled her hair, and she felt the relief wash over him. He wrapped his arms around her waste and leaned back slightly, picking her up. He reached backward, keeping her firmly in place with one arm, and feeling for the back of that bench with the other. He slowly leaned back and by the time he was on the bench, she was practically laying against him.

"Cain!" She whispered, pretending to be scandalized.

"Oh no, don't even think I'll be letting you go this quickly after you finally came back here."

"It's only been two days..."

"'Only' she says!" He looked at her desperately. "'Only' my ass. It's been 48 hours of me questioning every little thing I've ever said and done with you."

"I'm so sorry, Cain."

"It wasn't your fault."

She put a finger over his lips and looked down to one of his hands. She took it carefully and tried to say what she'd been meaning to for so long.

"You always seem to know exactly what you're doing." She said looking embarrassed. "I never know anything..." She admitted frustrated as she carefully laced her fingers through his, tracing over the worn calluses. "I've never so much as looked at a man before you came along."

He smiled. "You've no idea how much that pleases me."

"It doesn't help me though..." she said gently tracing over his palm.

He released a heavy breath. "I'm not in control here, Bijo...I didn't know how to tell you things…I didn't know how to tell you to be careful around D'lere...I didn't know how to calm you down once I'd made the mistake of jumping on top of you...I didn't know how to stop myself from pushing you too far when I kissed you..." he looked at their hands. "And I don't know what to do now...the way you touch me makes me feel so inadequate."

Bijo swallowed the lump in her throat. "You're not...I..."

"But I am. I'm your first, Bijo." He said with a smile. "I know that, and I know you're afraid and I can't stop myself from wanting so much more. I don't know when to push and went to just let go…and it's very very hard to let go."

Bijo thought that over for a moment. "Perhaps it's because we put ourselves in too many risky situations...we're alone a lot, and that gives plenty of opportunity for things to come up."

Cain nodded reluctantly. "I hate the idea of giving up that time though..."

"It might be worth it, if it takes the strain off the relationship...besides, there's much more to having a good relationship than physical intimacy..." She shrugged. "We'll just have to think of something."

"Yes." Cain smiled. "I'm sure we can come up with something."

"Well, first we should probably get up off this bench and eat some breakfast."

"I don't eat much breakfast."

"Well, you should. It's the most important meal of the day."

"Says who?"

"Says me." Bijo said pushing herself into a standing position. "Besides, are you honestly going to miss a chance to eat with me?"

Cain raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Fine, fine." He said rising and sitting at the table. After a moment he asked. "Is your sister still here?"

"Yes." Bijo replied with a smile. "What do you think of her?"

Cain shook his head. "Something about her is very frightening."

Bijo laughed. "And she knows it!"

"Which makes it so much worse." Cain said shaking his head. "Should I be frightened of her?"

"Yes."

"...Great..."

:End Ramble:

MM: Finally.

Bijo: Yeah. I don't like depressions.

Idlewild: I don't like your depressions either.

Kawari: Aw, that's sweet.

Bijo & Idlewild: /stare

Kawari: …In a …weird way I guess…

Rygel: I'm surrounded by gorgeous women...There's nothing depressing about that!

Betsuni: It's unfair that Cohanna and I got such small parts in this!

Evanthia: You and her? What about me? I appeared for a rant and then rushed out. That's not enough exposure for my character!

Mizuno: Believe me, we all feel over-exposed.

Evanthia: I'm not entirely sure I like the tone of your voice there, Sister.

Mizuno: Oh really?

Evanthia: Yes. I feel a serious strain on our relationship.

Mizuno: How sad. /sarcasm

Judi: Where'd Bijo go off to? I was hoping to actually talk to her.

Idlewild: oh, she's probably off somewhere making out with Cain.

Kawari: /snort

Betsuni: That's another thing; how is it the mousy little cleric gets a man before I do? Or at least one of the sisters...

Evanthia: I was thinking the same thing!

Guhdiva: Oh God...

Idlewild: Extremely baffed minds think alike.

Betsuni & Evanthia: Hey!

Zafilia: They even speak in unison...

Torako: Creepy.

MM: Alright everyone, that's enough.

Mizuno: Right. So what's on the agenda for the next chapter?

MM: I don't really know...I've had this little chapter that I did called Generations. It kinda takes a leap forward showing some of my characters kids interacting. But I've also got Zeresh and the Elves in the Feydark and Vanlar and Vdayen who's trying to track Zeresh down; we've also got Shenna up in the North with her own pet Gnoll; not to mention, the Vah Shir.

Torako: Don't forget, you still have to touch base with the group traveling to see Idlewild.

MM: Yeah. There's that too. But I kinda wanna distance the chapters a bit. I don't like doing a 3rd part on the same story-line, and Eurekain's party heading over to see Idlewild is as much a part of the Bijo story as anything.

Evanthia: I think that's the most I've heard Torako say in one place at one time...

Betsuni: Which is usually good. It gives us more time to shine!

Evanthia: True.

MM: I don't have enough meds to have you two at large in my head at the same time...

Idlewild: You think that's bad? Wait till I generate some serious pay-back for giving me two tormentors.

MM: Whatever. Something will happen next month. Hope you're around to see what it is! Later!