One Night Stands & fiancées
AN I live explanation at the bottom.
Chapter 35
POV: Emmett
"Where are you fuckers" I seethed as I followed the trail of ants, bug spray in one hand, flashlight in the other.
Rose was fast asleep, we'd spent the day decorating the house for the Christmas party we were throwing for our friends tomorrow night, well tonight I guess since it's 3 in the fucking morning and I am chasing this random trail of ants.
"What the fuck are you after?" I asked. The bin was empty so no trash, the sink and floors were impeccably clean since we had hired a maid just after Thanksgiving but for some reason an army of these things had taken up residence in our squeaky clean master bathroom.
I moved shampoo bottles, other hair products out of the way, they were staying clear of half that. Smart little fuckers knew those things would kill them, but they were disappearing behind the drawer. Putting the flashlight in my teeth I moved on to the bottom drawer of the vanity and began to remove it from its tracks.
Even I couldn't stop the gagging sound as I saw possibly the biggest, dead cock roach I had ever seen and a stick of wrapped gum, moldy but wrapped with ants crawling all over them. I aimed the spray and let them have it; I'd clean the mess up in the morning. Standing up I kicked Rose's discarded drawer across the floor, holding in my yelp of pain as it was my recovered but still tender foot I whispered a few choice swear words before glaring at the mess I'd made, and it figured, it is her girly drawer. I am a man who has no problem with a lot of things but for some reason tampons, pads they freak me out.
Using two fingers I picked up each individual, yellow wrapped package and dropped it back into the little makeup bag it'd been in. Turning to the pads I cringed, I didn't want to know what these 3 wands were for but the pink plus signs caught my attention on two of them.
Without another thought in my mind I sprung up from the floor and hobbled to the bed, running was still somewhat of a chore but the second I half tripped, half jumped onto the bed Rose sprung awake and swung her fist and I was out. Blackness.
When my eyes opened I saw the worried blue eyes of my wife. I was on the floor by the bed judging by the bed skirt to my right so I smiled widely. I was gonna be a daddy, but instantly I cringed, definitely busted my lip.
"You scared the shit out of me!" she shouted as I tried to sit up, but I was forced back onto the floor when she shoved me and stood up in a huff. "Jesus Emmett you know how jumpy I am."
I let the smile slide back onto my face as she moved to get back on the bed. Quickly sitting up, not really caring how jumpy she was I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her tightly to me.
"You're pregnant!" she stiffened in my arms and I spun her around. "I found the tests" I said and she looked sad, but we both wanted this why was she said. "Plus is yes right?" I asked still smiling.
"Yes but those were negative Emmett" she said and then she sniffed. Oh shit she was gonna cry, she thought I didn't know about her little bathroom trips but I wasn't stupid, which is also why I didn't pry about it after we kept getting all those negatives if she didn't want me there then fine.
"Nope plus" I said dragging her towards the bathroom.
"What the hell Emmett?" she shouted when she saw the mess I'd made once the light switch in there was on.
"Ants, I was chasing them to their meal, accidentally kicked the drawer that's how I found the tests" I explained bending down to pick up the 3 tests. Two were positive one was negative. "2 out of 3" I said.
"Yeah 2 negatives and 1 positive Emmett" she corrected tossing the negative in her hand into the trash.
"No 2 positives and 1 negative" I said handing her the third stick to show the faint but visible plus.
"Your bug spray must have changed the results" she said tossing it away.
"I didn't spray the drawer the drawer was way the fuck over there" I said with a grin.
"Emmett, let's just face it, there is something wrong with me. I mean we fuck like rabbits, have been for months and still nothing." She continued her rant while I opened up another drawer and tossed her a box. It was the last double pack of pregnancy tests, I knew she bought boat loads, if she saw them at the store, she bought them.
"Just take them, prove me wrong" I urged.
"Emmett I can't take much more of this, maybe I should see a specialist" she said pushing the box back towards me and away from her.
"Rose, take the tests, and stop saying it's you cause for all we know I could be shootin retarded sperm that are afraid of the eggs" I said causing her to laugh.
"Only you would think of phobic sperm I swear" she said moving to walk past me and back into the bedroom. I blocked her path.
"Pee" I said.
"Emmett" she tried.
"Pee" when she tried to resist again I opened the box. "You pee on these, they come up negative we both see a specialist, if even one comes up positive we go to the doctor tomorrow before the party" I bargained.
"Fine" she said and held her hand out for the box. I set it in her hand and let her shoo me out of the bathroom so she could pee in private.
POV: Rose
Grabbing one of the small cups out of the holder we had by the sink I prepared myself for another disappointment.
Setting the cup on the counter I placed the two sticks in and pulled them out before setting them on the edge of the sink so they wouldn't make a mess. Pouring the rest down the toilet I flushed and began to clean up the mess my husband had made. The ants dead bodies were all over the floor so to pass the 5 minutes I had to wait I grabbed the Clorox wipes and began cleaning, cringing when I saw the dead cockroach and the ants surrounding it. The smell of the bug spray was almost too much so I reached for the light switch and hit the fan before the door opened and Emmett pulled me out of the bathroom.
"What?" I asked wipes in hand. He took the wipes and went into the bathroom, continuing to clean.
"You shouldn't be around the bug spray" he said simply and I dutifully sat on the chest by the foot of our bed and watched him continue to clean. Glancing at the clock after a few minutes I decided to wait an additional 2 before looking, I was silly and no longer truly timed these things.
Once Emmett had cleaned out the dead ants he proceeded to remove all my hair products and line them up along the wall before spraying the crap out of the inside of the cabinet and shutting the doors. Standing I noticed he was hobbling slightly.
"Why are you limping?" I asked.
"Kicked the drawer with my bad foot" he said before walking out with a stick in each hand, a huge grin on his face.
Pee in a cup, check my vitals, take a little blood, and then make me change into a paper gown. I knew the drill. Emmett was sitting in the chair beside the exam table looking scared by all the pictures of vaginas, uteruses, babies at the tadpole phase and the self breast exam diagrams, he was practically green and doing something I had never seen before, bouncing his knee and trying to focus on the closed blinds behind me.
"Chill" I simply said, he was honestly making me more nervous then I already was.
A polite knock came before Emmett could say something his eyes shot to the door while I took two slow breaths before trying to calmly focus on Dr. Wolf as he strode into the room with a warm smile and slightly crazy gray hair.
"Sorry you had to wait so long Ms. Hale, McCarty now" he said correcting himself as he glanced at his lap top chart. "Congratulations, though I hear it's a little late in the game for that" he smiled and I laughed, such a sweet man, he'd delivered me and been my mother's OB ever since so I felt a little guilty for not being able to share our farce marriage, well now happy one with him.
"Thank you" I said and he extended a hand to shake to Emmett, introducing himself.
"First things first" he said and pulling up his stool he tapped his laptop screen. "Tests confirm you are pregnant" Emmett fist pumped and I let out a huge gust of air as he hugged me tightly. "I understand you had quite a few positive tests at home" he added and I nodded holding Emmett's arms securely around me from behind.
"I was starting to worry" I said feeling silly.
"Pregnancies either sneak up on you or when planned take more effort than originally thought" he smiled reassuringly. "It's a mental thing, a surprise seems easy, trying seems fruitless, all about stress levels and hormones" he grinned. "So today we are going to perform an ultrasound" he said moving to the sink to wash his hands as a nurse came back into the room with a cart holding a little monitor.
I tried to ignore the fact that this ultrasound wasn't on my belly but involved a condom and lube, Emmett once more looked a little green but the moment the screen lit up he was staring at it as if entranced or looking at an optical illusion where you can't see it until you get up close, cross your eyes and slowly move away.
"Very good" Dr. Wolf said and each time he spoke the picture would pause for a second before moving once more.
"Wow" Emmett simply smiled and I felt tears in my eyes. This was what I'd always wanted.
POV: Jasper
Alice was all over the place, once we'd gotten all the furniture into the house she had to have almost every single room repainted, I couldn't really tell the difference in my office because it had gone from one shade of gold to another and in all honesty I couldn't tell the difference since the curtains had been changed too letting more light in.
"Slow down" I called out as Alice buzzed past the door, paint swatches in hand with a roll of scotch tape, she was sticking the things everywhere. "Ally" I called and I heard her movement stop and soon the sounds were coming back towards my office. I had files stacked everywhere, choosing to work from home this holiday season since this was our first Christmas together. I'd be meeting her family in less than 3 hours and I planned on having things done before Rose's party tonight so I could seduce my girlfriend before her family moved in for the next week and I would have to be on my good behavior.
"Yeah?" she asked and I couldn't help but smile, she was wearing candy cane colored leggings, a green mini dress and elf shoe like slippers Bella had bought her. She looked like she should be working in the mall as Santa's little helper.
"You jingle" I smiled and she glanced down at her slippered feet, doing a little dance to make the bells on her pointy toes jingle. "Did you decide what I'm wearing tonight?" I asked. She had pretty much picked out everything I wore when we would go out; it was cute, but sometimes tiresome.
"Yep and don't worry, you won't jingle" she said sticking her tongue out at me.
"Will I light up?" I asked wary of the sweater my grandmother had given Rose and I last year, my brothers got loud ties because apparently they never wore enough and Rose and I got sweaters that lit up, we had both been mortified.
"Maybe later if you play your cards right" she winked and I chuckled.
"Tell me what hand you want and you got it" I said winking back at her.
"I'm more partial to another part of your anatomy" she added.
I blushed slightly but instead opted to look her up and down; she looked adorable and ridiculous but as always, sexy as hell. The dress wasn't completely form fitting but the mini hugged her little ass perfectly and even though she was wearing leggings I still felt my pulse quicken at how short her skirt was.
"Did you want me or did you just wanna ogle my x-mas goodies again?" she asked shaking her bum, causing the bells to jingle again.
"I've never been one for elfish fantasies but right now…" I trailed off.
"Down cowboy, I've got a half hour to decide what color to paint this hallway and take down all the paint chips before getting ready for the party, be a good boy and maybe later Santa will let me play" she grinned and shaking her bum she walked out of the room, I couldn't help but stare at her ass as she jingled her way down the hall before I exhaled loudly and tossed the file I'd been working on to the side, I could finish that tomorrow.
Jogging out into the hall I spotted her, hip jutted out, contemplating the 3 colors while tapping one foot. "Do I get a say?" I asked walking up to her.
"What do you think?" she asked. "Purple, blue, or brown?"
"Green, definitely" I said picking the one color she didn't have out, the hallways were already a greenish gray and I rather liked them.
"That's not an option" she said raising a brow at me.
"It is a very solid option" I said wrapping my arms around her, spinning her to face me. "I like the halls" I added.
"Really, you don't think they're too dark?" she asked resting her hand on my shoulders, 3 swatch spirals dangling from one hand while the tape dispenser was wrapped around her other finger like a ring.
"It's soothing, and that purple swatch and blue swatch are both the same thing just more purple and blue than gray" I added noting the change wouldn't be that much and brown wouldn't go with the upholstery on the lounger at the end of the hallway, I was turning into Alice with all these changes.
"You just don't wanna get high off paint fumes tonight do ya?" she asked and I laughed. The painters had promised to come by while we were at the party to paint the halls so it would be done in time for Alice's families' arrival; she'd apparently been a god send when he'd been married and freaking out.
"No, I genuinely like this color" I said kissing her nose. "And there are so much more thrilling things to do in a half hour before you have to get ready and I have to shower" I smirked grabbing her ass roughly and lifting her up, her legs wrapping around my waist as I pushed her into the wall in question. She yelped as I ground myself into her. "Naughty little elf" I said before attacking her neck.
Loud knocking on our front door and repetitive ringing of the doorbell pulled my face away from her neck and her hands out of my hair before I heard my cousin shouting.
"I know you're there put some clothes on and let us in!" setting Alice down with a groan I had to adjust myself before heading down the hall and then down the few steps to the front door. Alice was jingling behind me and I turned to chuckle as I heard Rose's mumbled voice complaining about not have a key to our home. Why did Alice help Emmett find a house so close to ours anyways?
"Shouldn't you two be getting the house ready?" I asked opening the door but instead my cousin flung her arms around me and shouted.
"I'm pregnant!" I heard Alice squeal and before I knew it she had flung herself at Emmett who was grinning widely while holding a bottle of sparkling grape juice in one hand.
"Let's pop this baby open and celebrate" he shouted like it was real alcohol.
"That's wonderful I said kissing my cousins head before letting her go so she could embrace Alice. I gave Emmett a big slap on the back but he gave me the biggest hug ever, pounding my back.
"I'm gonna be a daddy" I chuckled and once I could feel the blood coursing through my body again when he let go I shut the front door.
Not that I wasn't happy for my cousin and new friend but I was officially cock blocked.
POV: Edward
I felt like a moron, since Rose insisted a Christmas theme for a Christmas party I was wearing a neck tie with Rudolph on it and a red nose that lights up and blinks ever few seconds. All of this because I lost a bet with Emmett and loser got to choose an embarrassing Christmas accessory.
"It's cute" Bella said, hardly controlling her laughter as she straightened it at the McCarty's front door.
"I'm never betting Emmett again" I frowned and as soon as the door opened a camera flash went off and Emmett busted out laughing. I flicked him off before stepping over the threshold, many people were staring at me, Rose shot her drink out of her mouth, almost coating Jasper's red and green striped tie and light green dress shirt. I noticed Alice wearing candy cane leggings and wasn't surprised to see her smiling happily at me.
"Kindred spirits!" she called out with a huge grin, I noticed a tall woman who looked about my mom's age and a lot like Alice turn and smile at her daughter before her smile grew at the sight of my tie.
"Who did you lose a bet with short stuff?" I asked and Bella whispered.
"I think she dressed that way voluntarily" no one heard her but I did and in seconds Emmett was insisting Alice and I pose for a picture with none other than my dad, dressed as Santa and my mom dressed as Mrs. Clause. Oh gods save me.
AN: Review: I know I've been missing but there are many MANY reasons for that. First off, over x-mas I wrote 3 chapters, on my laptop which doesn't have word, Instead of e-mailing them to myself I saved them to my thumb drive… which was compromised due to stupid school computers having a virus, though I could save my files I can't retrieve them my computers say hell no, Trojan run and hide. Next came the problem Emmett is dealing with in the beginning of this chapter, and finally car accident. SO please review and I'm gonna try and recreate the other 2 chapters ASAP.