Just a little taste as we get things set up for Christmas, enjoy

Chapter Thirty-Six

He told me everything that day, as we sat in the Owlery, everything he could bring himself to say out loud. We missed classes and meals, but no one came up to find or disturb us and so I let him take his time to exorcise his soul.

The beatings, the ones that had left the physical scars on his back, had happened over months, growing more frequent as Voldemort sensed the destruction of his carefully laid plans for resurrection. As we destroyed each Horcrux he became more angry and desperate; and while still self assured of his ultimate victory, our continued survival; and I mean mine, Hermione and Ron's, and the clandestine support afforded us stoked his rage; rage that he took out on the rightful denizens of Malfoy Manor. I felt sick knowing that our successes had caused Draco that pain, even though it wasn't really our fault I could not help but feel somehow complicit. Draco related to me that the beatings became so frequent that he was finally able to hold back his screams; whether that was from some dissociative state he could put himself in, or the resignation he felt, he did not know. But the silence only made Voldemort more savage, and ultimately led to a new form of abuse, designed to destroy the boy rather than grant him any measure of respite or peace.

I cannot repeat the words Draco told me, it is enough that he allowed me to write the truth here, but his descriptions were horrifying to me; of how Voldemort had forced himself on an unwilling body, of the pain and the blood and the humiliation, capped only when he would force Draco to his knees and take his gratification from the silenced boy, without even the excuse of the Imperious curse to give a modicum of diminished accountability. I could not believe that Draco had not broken with the weight of it all. But he survived, for his mother, for the need to be strong for her, she, who had run from him and abandoned him. I told him over and over how stalwart he was, and how much pride I had in him, when it should have been her telling him this. And I told him how thankful I was that he had held fast and survived to be there with me just then. And we cried, both of us, for hours.

Along with the Marauder's Map I had grabbed my invisibility cloak, in case I had needed to seek Draco out on my own, without the help of a professor. I threw it over both of us, and led him down from the Owlery when everyone else was supposed to be at dinner. We went straight to the kitchens, not simply out of hunger, but because I couldn't think of anywhere else to go where I would not have to leave him alone; at least somewhere that wasn't a tower, which let out the observatory. Besides, the kitchens were warm, and Kreacher secreted us away to a little table, something the other elves joking called the Chef's Table, in the corner of the kitchen. Both of our faces were cleaned up by magic, and we didn't look the part of friends or lovers who had spent the balance of the day reliving the horrors of the war in tears, we were simply students, sneaking away for a private dinner.

In moments we had plates piled with roast beef placed before us, and a jug of pumpkin juice, along with sides that would have fed six. Of course, having missed every meal it was well appreciated, and I for one ate till I felt ill. We stayed hidden away down there till nearly curfew, and until I felt certain, or as certain as I could be that Draco would be all right if I left him at his own dorm staircase. I debated using the cloak to sneak in with him, to spend the night watching over him, but I knew I couldn't do that, or I would risk exposing the both of us to more than just Hermione and Aurora. Kreacher solved the problem for me, offering to watch over him for me, and to alert me if anything was to happen. All of this beyond Draco's hearing, as I had gone to thank Kreacher for helping us.

With his typical low bow he professed his pleasure and honor at helping 'Master Harry Potter and his friends'. I would have to teach him to start calling me something else once we were home I thought to myself as I accepted his help yet again.

I left him at the entrance to his dorms, down in the Slytherin towers after a long embrace and a deep kiss.

"We are going to have such a wonderful time at Christmas Dragon." I whispered to him as he slipped out from underneath the cloak in the empty hallway. I wanted to give him something to think about besides everything that had happened that day. He smiled at me and I felt just a little better leaving him there. I knew I was going to be up most of the night, or sleeping as lightly as a cat waiting on Kreacher's approach but I didn't mind. One more sleepless night meant nothing if Draco would be okay, and a good coffee infusion in the morning would give me the energy to keep my eyes open when I needed.

Hermione was waiting for me as I got into the common room, just before curfew I might add. She dragged me off to the far corner by the fireplace, and the sparse company we had in the room gave us a wide berth to talk.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay." I know my voice sounded flat, but I had just simply run out of emotions for that day, should have been for many days, considering.

"How is Draco?"

"He'll be okay, eventually, I hope."

"Where is he?"

"I took him back to his dorm, bad enough we missed classes and dinner, and probably caused a big scene in the Astronomy tower, but the two of us being unaccounted for after curfew? It's enough, and a friend is watching over him."

"Do you think he'll do something stupid?" 'Something stupid' the universal euphemism for killing yourself, it crossed Muggle and Wizard realms.

"No. He's stronger than that."

"But with everything he's had to deal with Harry?"

"I know, how could anyone blame him for giving up right? I just don't think he will, I want to hope that he can still find something worth fighting for."

She pursed her lips and nodded.

"It'll probably be you." I couldn't help but laugh, just a little as I heard her answer. I wanted it to be me. She took my hand and squeezed it really tightly. "Look how many people you inspired during the war. Your name, you gave people hope."

"Only because they probably couldn't spell Hermione." She smacked me on the arm.

"Be serious. You being Draco's friend is the best thing for him right now. And maybe, to some small extent knowing that I am too will help." She paused for a moment. "You should try to make sure he isn't alone. I think you should invite him to 12G for the holidays with you."

Funny how much alike we actually thought. I wondered, not for the first time, why it was I'd never fallen for Hermione. She knew me better than anyone else on earth. Was it because I didn't feel up to her? Or was it because I was afraid of falling for her, or her for me, and then one of us dying? Was I just protecting myself from that loss? It was a quandary I spent many hours mulling over in my brain, over many years.

"Do you think that the Weasley's will be all right with that?" They had as much reason to be angry with Draco as anyone, or at least angry at his surname.

"I think they will, he's not the same boy we all complained about all those years."

"That's for certain. Do you think you could sort of tell them about it? I'm going to send off some letters soon to Charlie, Bill and George, but maybe you could check with Arthur and Molly first?"

"I'd be happy to."