Chapter 36

Lucas pushed the sickly sweet cake around his plate with a fork while his father and Alicia were exchanging humorous war stories with Aayla who had finished their dessert and enjoying coffee. They were all laughing their heads off about antics they played back in the 'old days'. He didn't find any of it amusing and worse yet he had to suffer through the meal while being mildly disgusted by his second cousin Ethan who was too young to be feeding himself made a mess the spaghetti bolognaise Taylor had given him and now was struggling between trying to eat the tiny slice of cake and smooshing it into the table top of the high chair he was in. The others thought it was cute, an opinion he didn't share.

He wondered where Amelia was and why she wasn't invited to this little gathering and shot daggers at Alicia as it was her fault that she had forbidden him from courting Amelia and involved his father in the situation. It was insulting that Amelia and he were adults who were completely reduced to 14 year old kids. Yet here he was enduring this farce of a 'family dinner' and he had thought it would be more bearable if Amelia was there in fact he counted on her being there only to be disappointed.

"Where's Amelia?" Lucas asked as he had endured the mockery of the dinner and playing 'nice' long enough. He wondered who even had dinner at 5:30 anyway. It was too early. The laughter died down and Alicia looked to him while Aayla and Taylor took a sip of their coffees.

"She is having a girl's thing with Maddy" Alicia told him as she ate a bite of her cake. It was her second slice and Lucas wondered where she was putting the cake as she had eaten more than him at dinner and dessert. Aayla ate a reasonable amount but only Taylor seemed to match Alicia's gluttonous ways. No wonder they made the perfect pair. Alicia was like the female version of his father no wonder he wanted to kill her as much he did his own father.

"She's adjusting well" Taylor said to Alicia who gave a half shrug and expression that said she didn't quite agree with the sentiment.

"I can't imagine how hard it is for her" Aayla said adding her two cents.

"No harder than the rest of us" Lucas said.

"No, we chose to be here. She was pulled from her life-" Alicia started.

"Which is my fault right?" Lucas asked as he knew where the conversation was heading and soon fingers would point at him and she would say it's his fault Amelia was here.

"We know it was an accident but it doesn't change that she is going to be suffering from the upheaval and everything that happened after coming here for some time." Taylor said diplomatically.

"She's fine" Lucas said.

"No, she isn't. No one could be 'fine' after what happened to her but she's doing her best to move on" Alicia told him as she knew Amelia was not thinking about what happened to her and was moving fine. She hadn't dealt with her loss properly and Alicia felt Lucas should be aware before he made more of an ass of himself.

"I guess you would know since you have your nose in her business?" Lucas said dryly.

"My job as a pseudo parent" Alicia told him,

"It's probably a good thing you haven't reproduced" Lucas said, an unsettling silence settled in the room bar Ethan who was grumbling in an amused manner as he played with his cake and licked his hand. Alicia and Taylor's facial expressions steeled in a manner that sent a chill down Lucas's spine as he realised he had struck a nerve. Aayla watch on remaining silent and after a moment Taylor spoke.

"Apologise" Taylor told Lucas in a dark tone.

"I'm entitled to my opinion" Lucas sneered as he had found a chink in the armour and couldn't help but enjoy getting back at Alicia for banning him from dating Amelia.

"Yes but you're not entitled to be an asshole and share it. Apologise now" Taylor told him in a fierce manner as Alicia looked down at the table.

"Apologies" Lucas said without an ounce of sympathy. Alicia made no acknowledgement of it and went back to eating her cake. Taylor looked at Alicia for a moment before he took a sip of his coffee. Lucas locked eyes with Aayla who was watching him. "What?" he asked Aayla as he found her ability to unnerve him annoying. It was like she could see right through him.

"I'm just amazed how my son has more manners than you and he can't string a full sentence yet" Aayla said with a shrug as she picked up her coffee and took a sip.

"Excuse me if I'm tired of playing this charade" Lucas drawled.

"Perhaps you should have eaten dinner in the mess if you had no desire to interact with us. Anyway I'm amazed anyone can stomach a meal with you at the table" Aayla said.

"Oh another person who hates me. I was just a cog in the machine" Lucas told her.

"No you were the catalyst"

"There's a new name though not insulting" Lucas said with a shrug.

"Yet it's true. You couldn't deal with your mother's loss and you let that grief and anger rot inside you until you could no longer stand yourself and so you had to project it onto . Something which I find interestiing-"

"I don't and you have no idea what happened-"

"I've read it all the reports and if you let me finish. I was going to say that I find it interesting that you idolise Ayani but I wonder if she had been in Taylor's shoes and had to pick between you and Taylor, thus she picks you because a parent will always sacrifice their life for their child. Would you resent her as much as you do him? But then I guess it's a waste of time talking about the past it doesn't change what happened or who you are" Aayla told him.

"You have no idea who I am" Lucas said as he looked to Taylor and Alicia to step into the conversation to at least put an end to it. It was unfair he couldn't give his opinion about Alicia yet Aayla could have a go at him.

"That's where you're wrong. I know all of your skeletons. I know the deals you signed just so you could stick it to your old man. Tell me was it worth it? a war across two time lines that resulted in the deaths of millions including my family and my husband. Was it worth it?" Aayla asked as she found she wanted to know if he was completely amoral or if he did feel guilt she wasn't sure why it was important but it was.

"I didn't start that war" Lucas told her. She stared him down and couldn't believe his pathetic response.

"Yes you did. Take responsibility of your actions. You started the war here that bled through to 2150 and Hope Plaza was destroyed. If you had won this place would be an org-" Aayla had planned to say 'organ farm' which was why Lucas had to cut her off as he didn't need that fact to come to light. So he cut her off.

"Please, I'm one of many 'soldiers'. I can't be held responsible for everybody's actions." Lucas said.

"You made the portal go both ways. Without that it would have taken years for the Phoenix soldiers and the war to break out here. Years, I could of have had with my husband, my son could have had his father. The years you and your buddies took -" Aayla stopped as she choked on the lump in her throat and shook her head. She refused to break down in front of Lucas Taylor of all people. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and she knew she was going to break down in tears and refused to do it in front of Taylor and Lucas. She placed her napkin on the table and rose from her chair. "I'm sorry but it's getting late, I need to get Ethan home for his bath and bed. Thank you for the lovely meal" Aayla said as she moved to Ethan.

"Here, let me help you" Taylor said, he rose from his chair and moved to help her with cleaning Ethan up from his sponge cake disaster zone.

Lucas sat at the table not moving as he didn't feel remorse or any responsibility to her. He understood it was sad but he didn't feel it. They saw things differently and the only reason he was the bad guy was that his opinion was only shared by the minority. So he watched as Aayla picked up her kid and Taylor ushered them out of the house.

After the door closed Lucas looked at Alicia who was still sitting at the table casual as one could be. She had seemed to recover from his insult as she was drinking her coffee looking right at home.

"Just say it" Lucas said as he knew she was going to talk to him.

"Aayla has your number" Alicia said dryly as she placed her cup of coffee on the table and picked up her fork to continue eating her cake.

"She's just looking for somewhere to point the blame for her loss." Lucas said.

"You know I wondered why you were so hot and heavy with Amelia and now I know" Alicia told him. The topic change threw him as he had no idea what Amelia had to do with Aayla.

"Oh really? Please tell me because I thought it was an intense physical attraction and the fact she has an intelligent mind" Lucas remarked as he wasn't going to let Alicia ruffle his feathers.

"She's also innocent, she has no concept of who you really are or all your dark little secrets" Alicia told him.

"And what would you know about my 'dark little secrets'?" Lucas asked in a mocking manner.

"Enough of them to know that Amelia can do better. Tell me does she know about Somalia? Why you hate your father so much? Why you really shot me that night? The real reasons-"

"They are not relevant" Lucas told her. She gave a smiled and shook her head as she looked down at her cake spearing a bite with her fork.

"Omitting important details is considered lying in my books. What happened in Somalia-"

"I don't want to talk about it" Lucas snapped. Alicia looked at him.

"But the bad choices you made from that day shaped who you are now. They are the reasons I know you're helping St Claire take over this colony" Alicia told him before she ate a bite of cake.

"I don't know what you're talking about" He said shaking his head.

"Now you're lying. I want you think about how Amelia will feel weeks or maybe months from now when everything comes to light and she didn't hear it from you now. I know what it's like to love a man who is amoral and considered a criminal. I know what it's like to have the illusion broken and feel like a complete idiot and to be ashamed of myself for trusting someone like that." Alicia told him.

"I also know I can't make you tell her anything but she deserves to hear your version, know your history before she gets in too deep. Before she hates herself for getting wrapped up in your baggage" Alicia told him.

"Let me walk you home, I can keep a hold on Ethan" Taylor said kindly to Aayla as the woman was struggling with her emotions and a squirming child. Ethan was wriggling from the sugar rush he had received from the cake.

"Don't treat me like I'm family" Aayla told him as she felt bitter and resentful for having to sit at the same table with Lucas Taylor all because she had to ingratiate herself to Taylor to spy for St Claire. The whole situation gave her a headache. Then Lucas and thinking about how things could have been different.

"You are to me, might not be by blood but we shared a relation through marriage. I also know Ayani would kick my ass if I didn't treat you with respect and care." Taylor said.

"So it's because of my aunt, you do this" Aayla said.

"Partly, but it doesn't matter. Let me help you. Please" Taylor told her. She nearly broke down at the sincerity of his words.

"You can't trust me and you can't help me" She told him in a low voice, the words slipped out on their own accord as she mistook his words for more but she needed to tell him, to warn him. He was intuitive enough to understand what she was saying.

"I can if you just let me" He told her, she shook her head.

"You misunderstand" She told him as she tried to control her emotions but failed as she couldn't seem to do anything right.

"No, I don't. Now let me talk that wild child off you and walk you home where we can talk in a more private setting" he told her. Aayla nodded and handed Ethan over who was still grumbling and squirming probably due to the fact he was abruptly taken away before he could finish eating the cake he had been playing with.

Taylor placed the boy on the ground and held his hand so he could walk off some of the sugar rush the toddler was going through thanks to his first real taste of cake and all the trimmings.

Amelia looked at her makeshift studio and found she actually had space for the first time in weeks. She had handed every piece of artwork she had painted bar six pieces to the festival committee to display for her and hopefully sell. She couldn't help but feel some anxiety as she didn't want to be that person who painted prolifically and didn't sell a thing. It would be mortifying.

She placed a fresh canvas on the stand in front of her and contemplated what she was going to paint as her dexterity was slowly coming back, she was now able to start painting with more finer detail. She wondered if she should test it when a knock sounded at the door.

She moved away from the canvas and went to the front door and opened it up to find Maddy.

"Hey, how you ready to go?" Maddy asked. Amelia looked down at her paint stained cargo pants and tank top and then to Maddy shaking her head as she had forgotten that they were going out on a girl's night.

"Ah let me get changed. You look dressed up" Amelia said as she let Maddy into the house. Maddy was wearing a purple summer dress with a heavy cream cardigan. Her long hair was out in styled into waves.

"You've forgotten already?" Maddy asked as Amelia disappeared into her room and quickly changed into dark grey leggings and long sleeve white kaftan tunic dress that she placed a light grey vest on before belting it with a red belt under the bust.

"Maybe? I've been a little out of it" Amelia said.

"Not to worry, we're having dinner at Boylan's. Mark and Dunham are buying" Maddy said with a smile.

"Oh wait not a double date" Amelia said as she didn't remember signing up for one.

"Yep, so take out that messy bun and put on some shoes. We're already late" Maddy told her. Amelia pulled her hair out the bun and gave it a quick brush before she looked to Maddy for approval.

"Alright, let's go" Amelia said.

"So you're just going to sit there and lecture me about honesty" Lucas said in mocking disbelief.

"And eat cake. It's really good" Alicia said as she sliced herself a third piece of cake but this one was smaller than the last two.

"Shouldn't you be following Lieutenant Cross and comforting her" Lucas asked as he'd rather have the house to himself as he was sick of keeping people company and missed the solitude he had from living in the jungle.

"No, she and Taylor need to talk" Alicia said as she placed the slice of cake on her plate.

"What could they possibly have to say that can't be said in front of you?" Lucas asked.

"Maybe I just like eating cake and annoying you." Alicia told him with a smile.

"Do you have a crush on me?" Lucas drawled in a mocking manner.

"Oh yeah you want to be my little cub?" Alicia deadpanned before laughing and shaking her head as Lucas glowered even more. "Look whether you want to acknowledge it or not. Aayla is your cousin, a relation by blood who is grieving the loss of her spouse."

"Like my father would know what that's like" Lucas said mockingly, Alicia shot him a cold and dark look.

"Don't be an asshole, you may have lost your mother but he lost the love of his life and his son that day" Alicia told him.

"I'm still here" Lucas said throwing his arms up.

"But you're not half the man you should be and definitely not his son with the way you put on airs" Alicia told him

"And it's his fault" Lucas said.

"His fault for giving you everything you wanted and asked of him, he sent you to those posh schools and universities because you asked him to, you turned your back on him long before he banished you from the colony"

"I'm not getting into this with you of all people"

"Then feel free to leave" Alicia told him as she gestured to the door.

"This is my house" Lucas told her.

"Actually its Taylor's house not yours and I know for a fact he wouldn't mind me hanging around to finish my dessert." Alicia said.

"Whatever I'm out of here" Lucas said as he got up from the table and left the house leaving Alicia to finish her dessert.

"He couldn't sit down for a week" Mark said as Amelia, Maddy and Dunham were all trying to catch their breath as they were laughing so hard from Mark's tales of basic training and how he had shot his drill sergeant in the ass with a sonic blast not ingratiating himself at all.

Amelia's face hurt from smiling so much and she had to admit it was fun night as the double date was just like hanging out with friends than a real couples' thing. Only did it get a little weird when Mark and Maddy looked at one another for a moment too long with goofy smiles on their face. An urge Amelia sadly didn't feel to do with Dunham. It was sad because he was patient and kind in giving her patience to sort out her own life and emotions.

Amelia felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle as if she were being watched. She turned around to scan the bar and in the busy evening crowd she zeroed in on Lucas who stood at the one of the doorway to the bar staring directly at her. He looked angry and she frowned as she didn't know why.

Lucas had come to Boylan's bar in need of a drink. He had been sober for months but tonight made his thirst for the numbing effect of alcohol only to remember he couldn't drink and that was when he spotted Amelia laughing and having a good time with Goody two shoes Shannon, her squeeze and Dunham the man of the hour who everyone would prefer Amelia to be with so she could be taking neatly into the fold.

He looked on watching them have a good laugh and felt angry that everyone kept putting him down and the fact that Alicia said Amelia was having a girl's night which was a lie. He wondered if it was Alicia lying to him or Amelia covering her tracks either way he couldn't stay and watch so he turned on his feet and walked away.

He barely made it across the square when he heard Amelia call his name. He stopped and turned to face her.

"Hey" she said as she caught up to him.

"Hi" he said in return keeping his distance.

"You ok?" She asked as he was acting weird.

"What do you think?" He asked.

"That you're pissed but I don't know why" Amelia said.

"Maybe because your 'girls' night' looks more like a double date" he told her, Amelia made a face.

"We're just hanging out. It's not a date, Alicia was going to swing by and we were going to-"

"Don't lie to me" he told her.

"You're being unreasonable. Did something happen at your family dinner?" Amelia said as she felt that she was hanging out with Maddy, Mark and Dunham. They hadn't even touched the topics of what would happen in the future or that Dunham and she would make a cute couple. Nothing at all, they were just friends enjoying a meal together.

"We may be related by blood but they are not my family and the dinner was an absurd waste of time" Lucas told her in a scathing tone. She hated how he made 'Family' sound like such a horrible thing to have.

"What do you want from your life?" Amelia asked abruptly.

"What do you mean?" Lucas asked as he didn't understand how the question was even relevant to his 'family dinner' and Amelia 'girl's night' that had boys involved.

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" She asked as she placed her hands on her hips looking at him waiting for an answer.

"I don't know. Where do you see yourself?" He asked her.

"Married with a stable career and living with my husband in one of the new houses going up on the west side of the colony." She told him with such ease that told him she had given it a lot of thought.

"Married to Dunham?" he asked mockingly though the idea made him feel sick with envy. Amelia made a face.

"No, he's nice but-"

"Well then who takes your fancy?" he asked and then nodded as he knew the answer and while he could have a relationship he couldn't be her husband, he looked away and saw St Claire on the balcony of the Command Centre watching him. He wanted Amelia but he didn't think it would be long term. He figured they would grow tired of each other or they would reach the stage where she wanted more than a bed partner which all he could be as he didn't want to get married as that led to having kids. Something he most definitely did not want.

He was a selfish man, he wanted Amelia all to himself and with St Claire eyeballing them he had to play his part carefully because he would not allow St Claire to have Amelia.

"I'm being an ass but then I did not see myself doing much of anything in 5 years besides working on the calculations. I do share your hope" he said.

"So if we – I mean this relationship works then maybe we could end up married?"

"We could but nothing is set in stone. I do know that it drives me crazy seeing you with Dunham. I want you" he told her. he moved in closer and framed her face with his hands. "But all to myself" he added before he lowered his lips to hers in a soft and passionate kiss.

Amelia's heart melted and her body sighed as Lucas kissed her with soft reverence. When he pulled back she could see every emotion he felt running through his eyes. He dropped his hands from her face and stepped back giving a grim closed lip smile as he stuck his hands into his pocket.

"Technically I'm not allowed to court you and kissing you definitely comes under that heading" Lucas told her.

"Yeah if Alicia caught you there would be hell to pay." Amelia said as she brushed her hair behind her ears as a nervous gesture.

"Yeah, so I'll see you tomorrow at the festival" he told her.

"Ok" Amelia said smiling at him. They stood like that for a moment before a blush graced her cheeks "I should go back in" she said and Lucas smiled as she walked away from him but still looking back at him. He was just waiting for her to trip and fall.

"Cup of coffee?" Aayla offered to Taylor who was on the living room floor play-wrestling with Ethan who was energetic and giggling madly thanks to the combination of sugar and Taylor's attention. The sight warmed her as she remembered her friends back in 2157 playing with Ethan the same way. Her baby boy lapped up the attention, a frail smile played on her lips as thoughts of her husband played through her mind. Thoughts of what he would of been like with Ethan, how he would have made a good male role model for Ethan while he grew up.

"Sure" Taylor said before he growled and tickled Ethan until he was breathless and lying on the floor in a starfish manner as if he was finally admitting defeat. Taylor smiled as he missed the joy and innocence that came from having a child around. It made him feel young again and incredibly exhausted which was why he made a mental note to never give the kid cake after 5pm again as he knew Aayla would have one grumpy kid tomorrow as he was up way past his bed time.

He crossed his legs and looked at Ethan who was still puffing for air but smiling. Aayla poured out two cups of coffee and came over to the living area placing a cup on the coffee table for him before she sat down on the lounge.

"I think you've exhausted him" Aayla said as she looked at her son.

"Well I did give him cake. It's the least I could do" Taylor said a tense silence filtered between them before Taylor spoke. "I know you're a spy for St Claire. You didn't think I found it strange you showing up here?" he asked.

"I didn't ask for the assignment"

"I know, you and Xavier were scheduled for the 12th pilgrimage. What happened to him?" Taylor said, for the first time since her arrival acknowledging that he knew her husband on a personal level as well as professional which he did. It took him awhile to remember as Taylor had worked with many people but he knew why her husband's name sounded familiar when he read her file. It was because he personally trained, fought beside and promoted. He knew Xavier Cross and had offered the man a ticket to Terra Nova on the first pilgrimage but he had declined as he felt that he was needed more in the 22nd century than in Terra Nova but Taylor left him an open offer that if he changed his mind. He was most welcome to come through and serve under his command.

"He was excuted for treason" Aayla told him. Taylor reared back at the knowledge as it didn't fit with the man he thought he knew. She shook her head "St Claire came in and made order out of the chaos when everything went to hell. She made the tough choices no one else would do and when someone questioned her actions or plans she made them disappear or worse made an example of them. Xavier was made an example of and after his death, I was her crowning example of 'what a woman and a soldier should not be'. She and those around me made my life hell-"

"But you managed"

"With alittle help from friends and one stupid promise I made to my husband before he died. Yes, I did and St Claire knows you will front some sort of rebellion when she finally gets her hooks sunk into this colony. The problem she has is that she doesn't know when and it's too early for her to start making you and your army 'disappear' and that's why I am here bcause I'm finally useful to her" Aayla said.

"Do you know her schedule?"

"No, and she won't tell me because she can't fully trust me. A sentiment I hope you share with her because you can't trust me because I can tell you now I will betray you if it means that I save my son. But the hard part is that I don't want to betray you or anyone, all I wanted was to come here and have my son grow up and live a long and healthy life." Aayla told him.

"I know, it's what I wanted for Lucas"

"He's another person you shouldn't trust"

"I know that already" Taylor said.

"No you have no clue what he's done, what he agreed to do when the Phoenix Group funded his first venture. You think it was all about strip mining Terra Nova? it was more than that" Aayla told him.

TBC