Disclaimer: The whole wonderfully amazing Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me. :(

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But...onto the story!

Bella POV

We all stood in silence for a minute. It wasn't until Edward very subtly cleared his throat that I was launched back to reality. I quickly pulled the shirt tightly around myself and tried to think of something to say. I hadn't seen Jake in four years. After he went off to college I just forgot. It didn't help that the first year was clouded with pain and hurt either.

"Jake...what are you doing here?" I asked, half hiding behind Edward.

He set his bag down and blinked.

"Bella..."

I could already feel tears in my eyes. "I don't think this is a good time right now."

The look of hurt on his face was enough to kill me. Why did he pick now to mend old wounds?

"Please, just let me talk. I've been debating whether to come for months," he said.

But it hurt too much...couldn't he see that?

"Y-you should be in school."

"I graduated last month. I sent an announcement."

I glanced at the unopened announcement sitting on the table by the door. I got it, but I couldn't open it. I just couldn't.

"Oh."

Luckily he continued. "Anyway, my dad gave me some money and said I could go on a trip and well, I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do than see you."

He wanted to see me?

"Listen, Bells, you don't know how much I've missed you. Four years is a long time and when you never returned my emails or calls, I figured you didn't want me as a friend anymore."

I sighed. Silly Jacob, I would always want him to be my best friend.

He stepped closer which only made Edward slip his arm around my waist. Jacob halted in his tracks. He just now noticed Edward and stiffened at his warm embrace of me.

"Bella...I am so sorry I hurt you. I jus-"

"But you did hurt me!" All the memories from four years ago came back to haunt me and flooded my mind. How could my Jacob just come back and expect me to forgive him? I'd held all these feelings in for years, locked away in my mind and now they all burst out in tears. "You hurt me so bad! You have no idea what that did to me! And now you come back and what? Expect me to still be waiting or something? There is a reason I didn't return emails or see you at Christmas!"

I wanted to keep yelling at him but I couldn't. My throat closed and sobs wretched from my chest. Edward held me tigher.

"I think you should leave," he said. This was not a suggestion either...it was a command.

I could barely see Jacob through my blurry eyes but I could see the pain on his face as he picked up his bag and left...just as quickly as he had come.

"So...are we going to talk about it or like every other breakdown you've had we're just going to pretend nothing happened?"

I couldn't help but detect the malice in Edward's tone as he said that.

Jacob had been gone for twenty minutes and I had calmed down on the couch with Edward on the other side. After I stopped crying he stopped holding me and put on the hard face.

"This is different, Edward."

I couldn't even look him in the eye. I was such a coward.

"How? Bella, you haven't opened up to me since the day you locked yourself in the bathroom and barfed all night! God, I feel like I don't even know you anymore!"

I looked up quickly. My heart dropped and I could barely even comprehend what he was saying.

"Are you saying you don't love me anymore?"

Edward sighed. "Of course I love you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but we can't do that unless you talk to me Bella! What is going on? What happened with Jacob? And why do you cry yourself to sleep almost every night and why did you fight with Charlie? We can't build our relationship without communication and we sure as hell can't build it on lies!"

I buried my face in my hands.

"Jacob hurt me Edward! You don't get it, we had a fight four years ago and it still hurts!"

I figured Edward would pull me close, but he didn't.

"Well I've been hurt too Bella, but I got over it! Just talk to him and get over it!"

I stood up and threw the pillow I was holding on the couch.

"I CAN'T!" I yelled. "My life is so screwed up that I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror! I can't get over that and I can't talk to anyone about it! No one knows what I have been going through since I moved here! Can't you see Edward?"

He stood up too, ready to battle me out.

"Well you can talk to me! You know I won't hold anything against you!" His voice lowered when he saw that I started to cry again. "Bella...please don't cry. Just talk to me...let me help you. Just let me in."

He rubbed my arms gently, offering himself to me...but I just pulled away, disgusted with myself. It was all over...but it didn't feel that way.

"Please, let me help you Bella. We can get through this...what ever it is."

I finally looked him in the eye.

"You really want to help?"

He sighed in relief, but I didn't want to talk. Instead I let go of myself and just lost Bella. She floated away as the angry-sexy-woman took over. She ripped off my shirt and then went in for the kill, pushing him down on the floor.

"Just let me forget everything."

And like every other time, Edward blew off the talking thing and just let me deal the only way I knew how.

It had been two hours since the fight and I was laying on Edward's bare chest. Even though I was in my own home, locked away and safe, it still felt weird to be laying naked on the living room floor. This meant Bella had come back. I accepted the silence happily, but like all things it ended.

"Bella...you have to talk to me. What happened? I gave you what you wanted, but you need to help me out too."

I turned away from him and glared.

"Please, Edward."

Just thinking about it brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't talk about it.

"Bella...."

His hand traced circles on my back, soothing me. It didn't work. So Edward got up and put his pants on and shirt, heading for the door.

"I've got to get Susan."

I listened to him put his shoes on. It took only a minute, but it felt like an hour. The whole scene from the last time I saw Jacob played in my head again. I sat up and wrapped the blanket around myself and rocked back and forth. The door never opened. He was waiting.

"Jacob was my best friend." I said suddenly.

Silence, still.

"He got accepted to the University of Washington, but I was going to Seattle University at the time, had been for two years. We saw each other almost every weekend and for the first time, I felt loved, like really loved. We got so close that the summer before he left for college I moved back in with my dad for two months. Jacob and I spent every waking minute together...and well, things changed.

"There were some things I've never told you...like I have been in love before. I fell in love with Jacob, and it was very quick. I lied about a lot of things to you, because the truth just hurt too much. The first time I ever got drunk was with him..."

And then a flashback took over my head.

Four Years Ago

Jacob and I had been sitting on the small dock of the lake for two hours, getting wasted out of our minds. The quilt we lay on seemed to grow warmer with each sip. I wondered why people didn't get drunk more often? It was fun and made things less awkward. Like the fact that I told Jacob I loved him for the first time...and he said it back. His arm was around my waist and I was laying on his chest, feeling it rise and fall like the dock did, bobbing in the water.

"I love you," I repeated again, even though my words were slurred.

He clucked and let his lips brush my forehead.

"I love you more than air."

I giggled loudly at this and scooted closer to his face until I lips touched. I never knew how good first love could feel.

"Do you think...that maybe we'll get married? After I graduate I mean?" Jacob asked.

I looked up at the moon, shining so bright. "I hope so."

His hand slid up my shirt and under my bra, tracing circles in my back.

"Good. Because I want you Bella, and not just that. I want to be with you and see you every day and every morning. You make me feel like the happiest man on earth."

A tear fell down my cheek as he said this, but the vodka in my brain took over suddenly and I stood up.

"Let's go for a swim!"

But right when I said that I regretted. Swim? Naked?

But Jacob got up and tore his shirt off. I marveled at his sculped abs and then blushed when he waited for me to take off my shirt. If I wasn't drunk, there was no way in hell I'd been doing this, but I did. I slowly slipped my shirt off until there was just my beige bra. And then he removed his jeans, so I did the same. His boxers slid off and before I knew it we were standing naked in front of each other. I was shaking....hard, but he just smiled.

"You're beautiful, Bella."

Again I blushed, but something changed. I looked up at him and then smiled. I grabbed our bottle of vodka and downed the rest before diving in the lake, butt naked and totally in love.

When we finished swimming it was like passion just kept getting stronger. Jacob and I crawled back on the quilt, but this time he fell on top of me, covering my face and lips with warm, deep kisses. The kind that made you heart burst from your chest. We kissed and kissed until something was different. And then I realized what we were doing. And unlike when I had been thinking about it, I wasn't scared. It was perfect, our first time right under the moon. I didn't mind the pain because after awhile it just went away and he made it better with ever kiss. Every pant and exhausted sigh just seemed right.

Edward was in front of me now...confused. "So I wasn't your first? But you said it hurt and that you didn't expect it to feel that way...Bella, I don't understand."

The tears flowed freely now as I explained.

"It felt different than I expected because with Jacob is was rough and wild, impulsive. With you it's just...perfect. Gentle and romantic and just how I want it to be, I wasn't expecting that and of course it hurt! It had been four years, Edward. It's not like I kept it up or anything."

I turned away from him, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean...you can keep going, I'm listening."

I nodded and then continued with the story.

CLIFFHANGER haha, sorry, I can't help it!!! I hope you enjoyed that surprise...our very last major plot line haha. Reviews=love!