A/N: I have found that it's when we are at our lowest of low points, emotionally, physically, or even spiritually, that we are more susceptible to things beyond our explanation, especially in our dreams.

Chapter 36

The storm whipped around Madigan as she struggled to make her way through a forest. She had to find the path again but it was so darn hard to see and she kept stumbling, being shoved around by the wind, the rain, and various branches and debris from the forest.

She was so tired and she wanted nothing more than to rest, to lay her head down for a while but she was firmly convinced that to rest was to give up and she wasn't a quitter. Not now, not ever.

She stumbled again but before she could fall, someone caught her and hauled her to her feet.

"You are one damn stubborn lady, aren't you?" a male voice said. She looked up, but because of the darkness from the storm and the trees, she couldn't see who he was. "C'mon," he said, leading her in a new direction.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Out of this storm," her companion said.

"But I have to find the path again!" she cried, tugging, trying to get him to let go of her.

"You will, just not right now," he said, not letting go. "You need a break, kid, whether you like it or not."

Up ahead a house emerged from the shadows and her companion pulled her inside. Inside a fire crackled merrily from a large stone fireplace. She moved towards it, seeking its heat, and sat down on the hearthstones, shivering. A moment later, her companion placed a warm, steaming drink in her hands and a blanket around her shoulders.

She looked up to say thank you and her eyes went wide.

"Timmy?" she asked in amazement.

"You expecting someone else?" Timothy 'Speed' Speedle asked sarcastically, sitting across from her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Seems the Higher Ups decided someone needed to knock some sense in to you and they designated me to be the knocker because we used to know each other," Tim explained.

"That's nice. Why do they feel I need some sense knocked in to me?"

"You think that storm outside is Mother Nature playing games?"

"I don't know what to think right now. I just know I need to find the path again."

"I hear a but in that sentence."

She nodded. "But I'm tired and I just want to take a break."

"Again another but."

"But if I take a break, that's like quitting."

"Not necessarily so. You see, Maddy, even the strong need a break once in a while."

"I don't understand," she said, confused.

He smiled. "You're a good person, Maddy, but you are so damn stubborn. You seem to think that taking a break, stepping back, means you're quitting and that's not the case. Some times you need to step back and take a break, to stop and take a different look at things. This is a version of your break." He pointed towards the closed door, a door that rattled as the wind howled outside, trying to get in. "That storm out there is your emotions. You've kept everything so tightly bottled up inside you that it's turning into a ragging storm that's rapidly getting out of hand. It's a storm that's steadily growing in proportion to the point that it's soon going to make Hurricane Katrina look like a breeze."

"How do I stop it?"

"How do you think? By letting others know what happened, by talking about it."

"I did," she protested.

"Yeah, you did but that's only a start. That storm is still raging because you haven't completely let go of Elliot."

At the mention of Elliot, she scowled.

"Elliot is gone, Maddy. He's made his choices, choices that were beyond your control," he said gently. "You need to learn to forgive yourself for what happened."

"And if I can't forgive myself? If I can't forget what happened? I keep hearing the gunshot, Timmy, and I keep wondering what I could have done to change things. I was so angry at him," she admitted.

"And you still are, from the looks of it," he replied.

"Why did he have to kill himself, Timmy? There were other options, there is always other options."

"I know, kiddo, and Elliot knows that now and he has to live with the regret, not you. You need to let go of your anger and move on," he said gently. "The Higher Ups still have a lot of work for you to do and you can't do it if you keep yourself in this storm."

"How do I get out?"

"Do you want out?"

"I want to see the sunshine again," she admitted.

Tim smiled and suddenly Madigan found herself very firmly tied up.

"What the hell!" she yelped, struggling against her bonds.

"Payback's a bitch, kiddo," he said, grinning at her. "I might be dead but that doesn't mean I haven't forgotten."

"You jerk!" she yelped, straining, only to find that the more she struggled the tighter the ropes got.

"Here's the thing, kiddo," he said. "There's only one way you're going to get out of those ropes and that's if you genuinely want out of them. Not to get even with me but because you want out of this storm and this darkness, so to speak. Then, and only then, will the ropes let you go."

"Let me go!" she yelped.

"There's only one person who can let you go, Maddy, and that's you," he said. He reached up to the fireplace mantel and pulled down what looked like a bunch of photographs in various frames, except the pictures were moving in the frames.

"What the heck is that?" she asked, puzzled, even as she studied the picture.

"These are memories, specifically, your memories," he explained. "You were a cute kid back then and you're a beautiful woman now." He chuckled as he watched one memory of her trying to tackle her brother, who was wearing his high school letter jacket and laughingly holding her off easily, even as he tossed a football to someone out of view of the frame. She looked like she was about eight or nine, still pretty young and carefree. He showed her the picture and her face went soft as she saw the memory.

"He was always bigger and stronger than me but he was always so gentle," she admitted. "I miss him."

"These are the memories you want to hold on to, Maddy, not the ones of Elliot and Russell and the Dawson family. Those memories lead to nothing but a dark, lonely road and to an eventual emotional hurricane that will destroy you. You deserve better than that. These memories," he said, holding up the frame, "these are the good memories and they can lead you out of the storm and in to the sunlight, but in the end, Maddy, in the end the choice is yours."

And with that, he stood up, placed the pictures down in front of her, and calmly walked out of the room.

"Wait! Where are you going?" she demanded as he opened the door.

"To a place where I'll be waiting for you when the time comes. Your time isn't now, but the choice is yours, just as it always has been." He stepped outside to where the sunshine poured, covering him in a warm glow and he smiled. "Sunlight or darkness, Maddy. Talk and let go, or hold on and remain in silence and darkness. One choice will set you free, the other will keep you here permanently. Your choice." And with that, he was gone.

Madigan stared longingly at the door but she was still afraid, afraid that there was nothing but more pain and bad things waiting for her. She struggled in vain against her ropes but they simply tightened. Would she ever be free of the damn things?

Just then, to her ever-lasting surprise, a horse with a white and brown-splotched head stuck its head in the door and looked at her with wide, beautiful dark eyes, and whickered at her. A noise reached her ears; it was the sound of laughter and it seemed to be coming from somewhere beyond the sunlight.

She found herself straining to hear the laughter, to see what was so funny. She wanted out, wanted to see what was going on. Suddenly, finding the path no longer held any appeal to her and it rapidly became a forgotten memory. Suddenly, finding the source of the laughter and finding the sunlight was more important.

And just like that, the ropes faded away.

She stood up and looked down, spotting the picture of her and her brother. Smiling, she picked it up and held it against her chest, the memory filling her with warmth.

The horse whickered at her again and it seemed to be saying, "Well, come on!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," she groused good-naturedly as she stepped outside to a forest that was no longer being storm-tossed. Now that she could see the rest of the horse, it was a beauty. Its shoulders reached the top of her head and its coat matched its face, with large brown and white splotches and brown mane and tail streaked with white. It was a well-muscled horse and it held its head proudly in the sunlight, its coat gleaming.

Then it did something odd; it kneeled in front of her and she got the strong impression the horse wanted her to get on its back.

"Okay, whatever you say," she said, slinging her leg over the animal's back and gripping its mane as it stood up. "Where are we going?" she asked as the horse started walking.

The horse took her to a path that split off in three directions. One direction she could see was dark and scary and didn't look too promising, not with the way the trees hovered menacingly and the faint, harsh whispers she could hear coming from the shadows. Another path was a bit brighter and looked a bit more promising but she couldn't see what lay around the corner as it looked like a pretty meandering path, and that made her a bit nervous, but it looked safer than the first path. There was a third path and she thought she saw what looked like an open meadow but she couldn't see what lay beyond the meadow, so bright was the sunlight.

The laughter and giggling came again, tempting her and she bit her lip, tempted to check out the third path but the second path looked safer. Or was it?

The horse looked back at her and nickered as if to say, "Well? Which way are we going?"

The laughter came again and, before she knew it, she found herself leaning towards the third path. The horse obliged her and began trotting down the third path, picking up pace rapidly.

"Guess I know where we're going now, don't we?" she said, finding herself grinning. She looked back once and it was in time to see Tim standing at the fork, smiling at her. He nodded once and then she looked forward, towards the warm, brightening sunlight that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once, sunlight that warmed her to her very soul.