Oops, this is two days late, isn't it? I had the hardest time writing it, but today I sat down and spent the afternoon working on it. I do hope you think it is okay as this is the end. It was a little unexpected but at the same time it just fit. This story is a big accomplishment for me as I like to think I managed to update properly and am now able to proudly put a complete sign next to it. I have loved writing it, even though it could be a real pain some days. It has been a very rewarding process the whole way through, and I thank all of you who have stuck by me throughout it. Which reminds me, apologies for not replying to your reviews last chapter but I did have a lot of fun reading your reactions and thoughts on the characters! Some of you have been so consistent and helpful while this has been written and I really hope you know how much I appreciate it no matter how simple it may be. Thanks for sticking with me through this and I hope the ending is somewhat satisfactory to you. Thank you all, have a nice day.
"This one is all you, Brennan," Angela says the next day. Brennan had told her what happened, or at least what happened through her eyes and Angela was rather unsympathetic this time around. Not that Brennan could blame her. "I can't make these choices for you and if you want him away from you...Well, that is your prerogative."
"You think I am wrong," Brennan assess on her own. It was not as though Angela worked on being secretive of what she thought.
"I think you're making a mistake, sweetie. But in the end that's up to you to decide."
Brennan sighs as she lays her head back on the couch. The two of them were at Brennan's apartment, it was past midnight by this time and Brennan was two hours past the time she needed to take her medication. She was hurting bad at this point and fatigue was beginning to set in. She refused to give in though. "You think I should trust Booth and just...go with this?" she asks, her "this" covering a wide spectrum of possibilities.
"No," Angela corrects automatically. "I'm saying to give him a chance. To just try and let him love you like he so desperately wants to do, and allow yourself to see just what the possibilities are. You're missing out on something amazing. I don't want to let you do that."
"How do I know if it's the right choice?" Brennan asks, her mind going through pros and cons, analysing just what this situation could lead to, what it all means.
"Oh, sweetie, we all want to know what that is when it comes to matter of the heart," Angela tells her truthfully, that same thought haunted so many people, herself included. Brennan was so far behind though that she didn't know there never was a way to know. It was all a guessing game, one of chances and hopes. It was based on love and this insane trust system that didn't make much sense. In the end, odds were you would get your heart smashed or you would break the heart of another. "You just have to take a chance and...jump." Brennan's eyebrows furrow together and Angela can see the confusion written across her face. "Figuratively speaking, that is."
"So, you're saying I have to forget everything I know about proof, and just fall into this abyss of chances and questions?"
"Crazy thing, isn't it?"
That next day was when she had finally had enough and just picked up her phone, dialling that number that she had forbidden herself from calling ever again just a few weeks ago. There were awkward greeting of "His" and "How are you doings?" and there was a long silence when neither of them said anything, just allowing the silence to sit between them for what felt like an hour but was more likely ten seconds. She had barely gotten out her "Will you come over?" before he had answered with his eager "I'll be there in a minute." She told him okay and he said bye. Then it was quiet again and she didn't know what she was doing any more. Since when in hell did she figuratively jump like this?
He knocks at the door and she yells "Come in!" since she didn't feel like fumbling with the crutches to do something that he could easily do on his own. He rushes in and she isn't the least bit surprised with how panicked/anxious he looked. After all, she had been pushing him away for well over two weeks now. This was a bit sudden, no doubt.
"Hey," he says again, just like he had on the phone and she nods her head at him. He takes in the sight before him. She looked tired, to say the least, and her leg was propped up on the coffee table with some pillows messily under it, one near falling out. Her hair is far from it's usual tame appearance and her face was free from any sort of make up, but a few bruises still remained on it. She was still in her pyjamas and her laptop was next to her, closed and seemingly forgotten. "How you doing there, Bones?" he asks her and tries to grasp a bit normalcy as he jumps into auto-pilot, doing what needed to be done to make her more comfortable.
He walks over and rearranges the pillows in a neater manner. Next was her laptop which he held up in question. "The battery died," she tells him plainly and he moves the power cord out there and plugs it in next to her. Booth grabs a blanket off the back of the couch and spreads it over her legs, folding it over at her waist so she could cover herself more if she wanted. He went to her bathroom and returned with a hair brush, gently moving it through her hair to remove the tangles, his fingers dancing on her neck every minute or so.
She stays quiet as he carries on more. Filling her cup of water, setting her next pain medicine next to her and finally going to the kitchen to look through the cupboards to find something for her to eat. "Do you want anything to eat?"
"Why are you doing this for me?" she asks, not understanding how he could keep doing this time and time again when she continued to push him away and be such a horrible friend. Why would he ever still want to be near her? "After all I've done to you...Why are you still here?"
"I want to be," he answers plainly.
"That doesn't seem logical," she tells him as her mind processes through as much of a the mess that these past couple months had been as she could. "You should hate by this point."
"I could never hate you," he tells her honestly.
"But you should, that's my point. You should leave me again," she tells him as though it was obvious that that should have been his immediate course of action after all of this.
"Bones," he says, approaching her slowly and smiling gently at her. "You have to trust me."
"How-how can I do that after you already left me?" she questions, her voice breaking as she did so. He was her weak spot, she didn't have any armor on when it came to him. She wanted to have it on though, to prepare herself for war. Yet she could not do that, not now. She was too far gone.
"I know it's hard and I'm not asking you to do it right now. Just...work at it," he tells her as he takes a seat next to her and places his hand over hers. Her eyes fill with tears and immediately he feels his alpha-male side take over, a desire to wrap her in his arms filling him up.
"You don't understand," she denies, shaking her head vehemently at him, her hair swaying back and forth and a few tears falling down. "You can't understand."
"Explain it to me," he says, still gentle, still loving. "Help me to understand, Temperance."
"I've been left behind before, Booth. More than once." He nods his head, signifying he understood but staying silent so she could continue. "By my parents, Russ, friends, boyfriends, everyone really." She ducks her head down, drawing a shaky breath in and then lifting her eyes to meet his. "You knew this."
"Yes," he says, interrupting nothing but the silence that had lingered for a minute. "I did."
"You understood more than anyone else ever had how much it hurt me. You watched-you saw just how much it effected me and still...you still were able to leave me. And I understand that there were more factors into this than just myself, and I understand that you were trying to protect me and went to the great lengths of sacrificing yourself for that very matter. But Booth, I didn't want to be protected."
"I know, you're able to take care of yourself. I was being an alpha-male, blah blah blah. Bones, you have to-"
"No, Booth, I didn't want to be protected because all I wanted was you. I just, I wanted you. That entire time you were gone, all I could think was how Booth could make me feel better and that Booth would know just the right thing to say or Booth would talk it out with me, but you weren't here! You were everything I needed and you-you weren't here."
"I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. You must know by now how much I regret what happened, and I never-I hate that I was the one to have ever hurt you like that." Now he was the one near tears and Brennan herself could see the turmoil that sat within them. They seemed to be at an impasse ever since he had come back. They could not go neither forward or back, both needing the same thing that seemed so unattainable.
"I still need you," she admits quietly, both to him and herself. "I still need you in my life and I can't imagine what I would do if you were gone again. That-it scares me so much. I'm petrified at the very thought. You have so much control over me."
"Oh, Bones," he says and finally follows through on the action he had wanted to pursue for so long now, he reaches over and pulls her close to him. She is the one who takes the initiative and gently moves herself on top of him, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck as her face buried into his chest. He could feel her tears soaking through his shirt. "After what I did to you I can't just tell you that I would never use that control to hurt you, can I?"
She doesn't pull away as he talks, stays close to him, her head right against his heart beat. She smiled a little at how cliché the idea was. "You could, but I do not think I could believe you right now.
"Well, Bones, I promise that no matter what happens from here on out, I will never, ever intentionally hurt you. I'll make a mistake from time to time, and I will probably end up saying something without meaning it, but I swear to put my effort into never taking this control I have and hurting you with it."
"I still don't know how much I can trust you," she tells him honestly, ashamed a bit at the fact.
"It's a work in progress," he says and she finally lifts her head to smile at him. "I'm not asking for trust, not right now. Just give me the chance to prove to you what I am saying," he says, and watches her head nod slightly, her forehead moves to rest against his and they are so close he can feel her breath cover across his face. He smiles at her and she gives him one back, one that lights up her entire face. It was the most genuine smile he had seen in so long. It was one he had missed so much ever since he had left her. "Let me give you your evidence." And he kisses her, sweet and loving as his hands reach up to her face and cradles it gently. When he pulls away he sees that the same thousand watt smile has remained on her face.
"I think this is a great place to start," she says and allows her lips to fall against his again, moving together and creating a new beginning. "You and me, together," her face brightens even more at the words.
"What?" he asks, with his own smile.
"Nothing, it just sounds nice."
Forgiveness was hard. Trust was harder. But love, love conquered all.
