This chapter marks the end of the KamuiXKagura arcs (for the time being, they'll be back!) and the re-entrance of... Okita Sougo!

And therefore, and the pairing of SadistXChina (or ToshiXKagura actually...) and their random one-shots that just pop into my mind! Whooohooo! XD

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Okita murmured in his sleep. Even outside, silently practicing, Hijikata could hear him. "Twelve thousand and eighty-two, Toshi the eunuch makes twelve thousand and eighty-three..." Hijikata wiped sweat off his forehead. More sweat dripped down his chest. Is this the reason I can't sleep at night? He reached for his mayonnaise bottle, uncapped it, and was about to drain its contents when someone appeared behind him and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Mayonnaise shot out of his nose. He coughed violently. "Oi, oi, mayo-freak, you okay?" Kagura swapped him on the back. Crack. There goes his spine. Hijikata crumpled down, wheezing. Kagura stood over him, her thick red skirt flapping against her knees. It was chilly outside, and it was well into autumn, but Hijikata wore only his pants.

Hijikata tried to get up... And twisted his spine back into where it had gotten dislodged by Kagura's helpful pat. "Gragkkk!" He half-cursed (*crap) as he fell back into the ground. "Mayo-fanatic? Did you strain a muscle or something?" Kagura knelt down next to him. "I'll rub it for you if you want me too."

"Y-you'll tear off my skin, you little brat." Hijikata leaned on his elbows and slowly got up into a sitting position. "What are you doing here, goddammit? Don't you ever do that again! You scared the crap out of me... I thought you were Okita Sougo!"

Behind them, through the window, Okita's eyes flickered open at the sound of his name. His pupils glowed red. He turned, pulled off his sleeping mask, and looked out the window...

Kagura made a face at Hijikata. "I didn't come here to be insulted, you know. I just... Have a morning exercise program at the park in an hour, and I have some time left to spare, so I came here." Hijikata looked towards the sunrise. It was barely up, painting the skies just a slightest bit of orange and red. "This early, eh?"

Kagura pulled him up by an arm. "Are you still practicing by yourself?" Crick! "Gah... Argh!" Kagura looked down at him. He again lay fallen on the ground. He was holding his shoulder. "I think you dislocated my shoulder..." Kagura sat back down next to him. "Really, you should always stretch before exercising, or else you'll pull a muscle."

"What is with you and pulling a muscle? That clearly does not have anything to do with this! It's you who repeatedly get me injured, you little bitch!" Kagura helped him up. "My stretching teacher always says to be careful before he stamps my book." She slung him over her shoulder. "I'll get you inside." Hijikata pushed her aside. "It's my spine and my shoulder that you broke, not my leg... Crap!" Pain from his sore spine made his knees buckle. "Godammit, I feel like I'm getting old."

Kagura placed her hand on his back. "This is the part where I patted. It's red and you have a big bruise." Hijikata glared at her, suspiscous. "I think Gintoki sicced you on me, goddammit. That was not a pat, that was something that nearly knocked the soul from my body." Kagura rolled her eyes. "I didn't hit you there." "I was talking about my soul ('tama') not my balls ('tama' as well), you dirty... Oof!"

Kagura picked him up, princess-style. "What are you doing anyway, I thought you were going to train with your fellow dogs of Bakufu in the future." Hijikata grabbed his mayonnaise bottle from his belt. "I still am training with them... But I still can't sleep. It probably has something to do with what Okita does when he prays for my demise."

Kagura walked into the room where the other Shinsengumi officers were snoring. She was looking around for a good place to but him down when, suddenly, she threw Hijikata down forcefully. He hit the floor hard. "Gah-hak, what are... What do you think you're doing?!"

He felt light; he had something missing. Without looking down he knew what was missing. Silver flashed in the edges of his vision. Okita leaped out of the dark corner, his katana out and his eyes glowing. He sliced his sword... Right though the air where Hijikata used to be.

Kagura dropped down from her perch on the ceiling, bringing Hijikata's sword, which she had stolen from Hijikata right as she threw him down and saved his life. She aimed right for Okita as he stood over Hijikata and shot down. Just as she thought that he would get run right through, he leaped back, too fast for her brain to recognize. And who she was going to run through was the one that she had so ironically saved just a heartbeat before.

Hijikata watched as Kagura fell down, sword out, too fast to stop her own momentum. Okita skidded to a stop five meters away, his own sword out, but he was already straightening from battle position. The battle was already over. Kagura had missed her target and was about to do her own opponent a favor. Little brat, you haven't experienced how lightning fast Okita could be yet, right? Hijikata closed his eyes...

Kagura crashed into the floor. Dust rose. Okita looked over to the damaged floor. He didn't see Hijikata's blood. Officers still lay there sleeping peacefully, the entire exchange just a few creaks short of silent from the experience of the trained fighters.

Clatter. Okita's eyes narrowed. A figure was rising from the smoke. His back to the sunrise, metal in his hand glinting red.

Hijikata slowly stood up, his katana extended out. He tilted his head and looked down at Okita. "That was low, Sougo." The dust cleared. Kagura lay on the floor, evidently not doing well. Her rib and stomach had taken the full brunt of a full-on impact with the floor to evade slicing Hijikata in half. Usually she would be able to bounce back and land on her feet but that move would have tossed her over to the spot that was now held by... The Sadist, who definitely chose to slide back five meters for a reason.

Kagura spat out blood. She looked up and grinned at Okita, her teeth bloody. "I'd rather die than do your dirty work for you. Kill your own vice-captain, you b*stard."

Hijikata raised his katana and grinned in the same fashion. "Oi, Okita, I've got two handicaps today and I'm not half done with my training. Care to be my punching bag?"