Here's a nicer one, to tie up some loose ends.

I still really appreciate all the reviews and all the nice things you have to say. You're all so sweet! *hands out virtual muffins*

36. Processing

"Are you sure you're okay, Elphaba?" Oscar asked from the back seat.

Elphaba exhaled audibly through her nose. "The next person to ask me that is going to find himself magically missing a limb."

Fiyero, in the driver's seat beside her, chuckled. "We're just worried about you, Fae. That's all."

"Well, don't be," she said. "I'm fine. I survived cars with the windows closed," she reminded them. "A car with the window open isn't that much of a challenge for me anymore."

Fiyero exchanged a look with Oscar via the rear-view mirror. They both knew Elphaba's claustrophobia had gotten worse after what happened with Avaric and Duran on the night of the gala, but she seemed to be getting back to her old self now, for which they were all grateful. As they drove home, with Fawn, Xalo, and Oscar playing games on the back seat and Elphaba and Fiyero sitting together in the front, it almost felt like nothing was wrong. Like a family vacation, Fiyero couldn't help but think.

Beside him, Elphaba was looking out of the window, appearing to be lost in thought, and he reached out to lay his hand on her knee and squeeze softly. "Hey. What's wrong?"

She shook her head slightly. "Nothing." She turned her head to smile at him a little wryly. "It just feels weird that no-one is trying to kill me or someone I love. It takes some getting used to, that's all."

Fiyero scowled at her and she chuckled. "I mean it. I do feel like I have to get used to not being followed around by guards all the time, being able to walk or drive with the window open again…"

"I know." He sighed. "As wrong and twisted as that is, I do know what you mean."

She smiled faintly. "I'm sure everything will be back to normal in no time, though." She looked out of the window again. "And it's good to be going home again. I can't wait to take a nice, long shower and wash that terrible hospital smell off me."

Fiyero glanced at her. "You can't shower on your own yet," he said and she gave him a mischievous grin.

"Then maybe I could try to find someone willing to help me?" she said innocently. He flushed, which caused her grin to widen. She rolled her eyes at him. "Don't worry, Yero. I have a shower and bathtub combo," she reminded him. "I am allowed to sit in the bath by myself, aren't I? I'm not going to skip baths and showers for the next couple of days, so if you refuse to let me bathe by myself, you'll just have to join me." She fluttered her eyelashes at him mockingly.

He sighed, forcing his attention back on the road rather than her. "You're a terrible person, you know that?"

She cackled. "Prude."

"Tease."

"Guilty as charged."

That made him smile and he reached over again to take her hand, lacing their fingers together. She smiled, too, and scooted over a little so she could rest her head on his shoulder, just like she'd done on their way back from Munchkinland a couple of weeks ago. Back then, she'd been tense and he'd been able to sense her fear like it was a tangible thing. Now, she seemed much more relaxed and she actually drifted off to sleep after a while, her breathing evening out. He supposed her physical state was still far from ideal and she needed the rest, but he was also glad her emotional state was good enough for her to be able to relax even though she was confined to the car. Maybe the things Avaric and Duran had done to her wouldn't have a long-term effect on her after all.

All joking aside, Elphaba was far from amused to find that she actually did need help with everything – including taking a shower. She was happy to be home, but there were still a lot of things she couldn't do. She could only sit up for short periods of time before she started feeling breathless, her wound throbbing, and she had to lay back down again. She was able to slowly shuffle to the bathroom and back, but she couldn't even make it out of her rooms and she couldn't stand up longer than a couple of minutes at most. It was frustrating, to say the least.

Of course, everyone was wonderful about it. Every afternoon after their lessons, Fawn and Xalo brought their toys, books, and games into her room to keep her company. Oscar popped in a few times a day to ask how she was doing and to update her on anything work-related that was going on. Galinda was there a lot, too, chattering about all kinds of things; and Cohvu usually came with the twins once their lessons for the day were over to see how Elphaba was and if she needed anything, which resulted in him making more than one trip to the Palace library for her because she was bored out of her mind. It got so bad she even found herself watching bad reality TV, which was something she'd never done before (Galinda, however, was quite happy with that development and often settled down next to Elphaba to watch those shows with her friend).

Fiyero was the only one she allowed to see her at her weakest, however. On the evening she'd first come home, she'd announced that she was going to take a long, hot bath, at which Oscar had instantly shaken his head.

"You're not allowed to," he reminded her. "Your stitches are only allowed to get wet for short periods of time, remember? No soaking."

She'd scowled at him. "Then I'll make it a short bath and make sure my stitches aren't submerged," she amended.

"It'd really be better if you'd just take a shower," Oscar had insisted and she'd thrown her hands up in frustration.

"Fine! Then I'll just go and take a shower!" She glared at her father. "The point is, I'm going to wash up and I'm going to do it by myself, okay? If I need anything, I'll call."

"You'll call from the shower?" Oscar asked pointedly, but she'd just shot him another icy glare and pushed herself out of bed, carefully making her way over to the bathroom. Oscar had shaken his head and left the room, but not before catching Fiyero's shoulder and murmuring into the younger man's ear, "Will you stay nearby, just in case?"

Fiyero nodded and Oscar patted his shoulder before leaving the room.

Elphaba had managed to get herself to the bathroom, undress, and carefully sit down on the edge of the bathtub. She'd eased herself down into it, turning on the shower to let the spray wash over her without actually soaking her stitches. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling for a little while. For the first minute or so, it had been nice. Then she'd started feeling tired, her wound growing painful, and she'd turned off the water and tried to get up and out of the tub, only to realise she was too weak to do so.

Her pride had refused to let her call out for help, so instead she'd stayed put without saying anything, trying a few more times to get up by herself; until, after a few minutes, Fiyero had knocked on the door and asked if she was okay. She'd only been able to whimper a breathless and unconvincing, "Fine," which, of course, he hadn't fallen for; he'd told her he was coming in and when he'd seen her sitting there, he'd wrapped her up in a thick towel and easily lifted her out of the bath and back to her bedroom. He'd helped her change into a clean pair of pyjamas and dried and brushed her hair for her, all without saying a word. Her initial mortification had faded when he'd finally caught her chin to make her look at him and said earnestly, "You need to allow the people who love you to help you, Fae. You don't have to do it all by yourself."

Those words had somehow ended up putting him on shower duty, even though he insisted he didn't mind in the slightest. She'd swallowed her pride and allowed him to help her, but she still couldn't wait to be able to do such things on her own again.

Her meals were all brought up to her and someone always stayed up to eat with her in order to make her feel less lonely. She really did hate being a nuisance, but she couldn't deny she was grateful for the company.

Before she'd left the hospital, her statement had been taken by the police and Fiyero thought it'd all be over now, since Duran and Avaric were both gone. Duran's funeral was on Wednesday and Elphaba, Fiyero, Galinda, Cohvu, Oscar, Fawn, Xalo, and Gazilon all went together. Thankfully, Elphaba could sit during most of the service and even though she felt extremely sore and tired afterwards – both inside and out – she was glad that she'd been able to go. Despite the things he'd done, Duran had been her friend and his death had been horrible. She wanted this chance to say good-bye to him.

Gazilon returned to the Palace with them afterwards and everyone was quiet. Elphaba, drawn and aching, had to lie down for a little while, but refused to go to her room; instead she curled up on the couch in their living room with a blanket pulled over her. Everyone else settled down around her, save for Fawn and Xalo who were picked up by Harron to bake biscuits together in the kitchen as a distraction, and no-one said anything for a little while.

Gazilon was the one who broke the silence. "I can't believe he really did those things." He shook his head. "I can't believe he's gone."

"Me, neither," Cohvu admitted. "I never thought it'd be him. Even when evidence pointed at it…"

"We didn't want to believe it," Galinda said logically. "And he didn't do it because he was a bad person. He wasn't mean or evil. Just desperate and not thinking straight."

"He just loved me," said Elphaba quietly, her gaze lowered. She glanced up at Galinda, who seemed to understand what her friend was saying, because she frowned and moved from her chair to crouch down beside Elphaba.

"Elphie," she said firmly, "you're not going to start that whole 'no-one-can-love-me-because-I'm-cursed'-thing."

"I don't believe I'm literally cursed," Elphaba argued weakly. "But still, Galinda. Look at my life. My mother died, my sister is crippled, Frex's life is ruined. Fawn and Xalo were burnt, Fiyero got stabbed and burnt – twice – and Duran is dead. Is it really that hard for you to see the common factor linking all those things?"

"You're not cursed," Galinda insisted. "That's stupid, Elphaba. None of those things were your fault. Your mum, Nessa, and Frex – that was all Frex's doing, if you ask me. As for the twins, Fiyero, and Duran – that was Avaric. Not you. Now stop this nonsense. We've been over this plenty of times back at Shiz and I understand that you're confused and scared and hurt right now, Elphie, but you know better. You're not an insecure schoolgirl anymore. You have a brain. Use it. Besides, you can't go around telling Fiyero that you getting hurt wasn't his fault when you insist on taking the blame for every bad thing that has ever happened to anyone in your life. It's hypocritical and I know you're not a hypocrite. Snap out of it."

Elphaba fell silent and Galinda hugged her. "I'm sorry for being so stern with you, Elphie, but I can't stand to hear you talk like this."

"I know," Elphaba whispered. "And I know, on a rational level, that you're right. It's just hard to feel it that way sometimes."

"You shouldn't be feeling anything right now," said Galinda. "For Oz's sake, in your current emotional state, you'd be able to convince yourself that the Great War between Oz and Quox two hundred years ago was somehow your fault."

Elphaba smiled wryly, knowing her friend was right, and Galinda giggled at her. "You should rest, Elphie."

"I'll take you upstairs," Fiyero offered quietly. She nodded and he scooped her up in his arms, blanket and all, carrying her to her own rooms. She knew he had to want to ask questions about what Galinda had said, but he didn't. It made her heart swell with love for him. He knew her well.

"It's what my father always told me," she said suddenly. He looked down at her and she clarified, "That I'm cursed. An abomination who only brings pain to the people around her." She figured if he was kind and thoughtful enough to not ask the questions, she owed him the answers. He deserved that much from her.

He stared at her, clearly horrified, and she quickly added, "Frex, obviously, not Oscar. Oscar is great. But…" She shrugged. "It's something Galinda and my other friends tried to get out of my system back at Shiz," she said, letting out a wry chuckle, "but it's also something that keeps popping into my head every time something bad happens. It's like I told Galinda – I know it's not true and it isn't right, but I can't help it. It's been drilled into me ever since I was a little girl."

Fiyero gently placed her down on the bed and sat down beside her, pulling her into his arms. She curled into him and he held her for a while without saying anything.

"It's been a rough couple of months for you," he said after a while, nuzzling her hair. "I just hope that that's the main reason why you would think such things and that you don't actually believe them all the time."

She shook her head against his chest. "I don't," she assured him. "Not anymore. Most of the time, I'm fine. It's only when I get emotional or, like I said, bad things happen, that I start to think like that again."

"I can understand that." He pulled away, the look on his face more serious than she'd ever seen it before. "And I won't give you the full speech, because Galinda just did that and I get the feeling she's been doing that for years already," he added, which made Elphaba chuckle slightly because it was true. "But I do feel like I need to tell you that none of those things were your fault and that you're not cursed. You're not an abomination – far from it. You… You're amazing."

She kissed him, her arms sliding around his neck. When they pulled apart again, she leaned her head back against his chest and murmured, "I love you."

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I love you, too, Fae. Now get some rest," he said gently, helping her lie down. "You need it, especially after such an emotional morning."

She nodded, because she knew he was right. She'd like to stay downstairs and talk more about Duran with her friends, not just his funeral or what he'd done but just who he was, the kind of friend he'd been; but she needed the rest. Besides, Gazilon would be staying for a while, having cleared his entire schedule until after the weekend, so they'd have time to talk later.

She slept a lot, which she also hated, but all the rest paid off; soon she was feeling stronger again and on Sunday evening, when she was talking to Galinda and Gazilon came up to tell the girls that dinner would be brought to her soon, she shook her head.

"I'll come with you," she said.

Both her friends stared at her as if she had grown an extra head.

Galinda, of course, was the first to speak. "Excuse me – what?!" she demanded and Elphaba rolled her eyes at the blonde.

"I'm feeling a lot better," she pointed out. "I think I can make it down the hallway." She'd prefer to try it by herself, but she knew neither of them would allow her to and she also knew that probably wouldn't be a good idea, anyway. That was why she looked at Gazilon and added, "If you'd be willing to help me, anyway."

His face softened and he nodded. "Of course, El. If you really think you're up for it…"

She nodded and he moved over to the side of the bed. Elphaba eased herself into a sitting position and scooted over to the edge of the bed, letting her feet hit the floor. She'd been sitting up more often over the past couple of days, so that wasn't really the hard part. With Gazilon's support, she managed to get to her feet, but then she glanced down at herself and made a face. "Let me get changed first."

Galinda giggled. "Isn't that my line?"

Her friend grinned in reply and Gazilon said worriedly, "I think that'd be a bit too much for one evening, don't you?"

"Gaz," she said pointedly. "I'm not going to the dining hall in my pyjamas. Even if it'd just be jogging trousers or something, anything is better than this."

Gazilon heaved a sigh, but Galinda was already on her way to Elphaba's wardrobe, quickly leafing through it before pulling out a pair of black jogging trousers and a loose, light grey top. Gazilon left the room for a moment to give Elphaba her privacy and the green woman grudgingly allowed Galinda to help her change. When she was finished, she felt a little bit more like herself and she ran her fingers through her tangled hair, grimacing before snatching an elastic band from the nightstand and quickly piling the ebony tresses on top of her head in a messy bun.

"Are you ready for dinner now, Your Highness?" Galinda asked innocently and Elphaba stuck out her tongue before starting to move in the direction of the door.

With Galinda and Gazilon's support, she made it to the dining room, greeting everyone else casually as she shuffled over to her seat and lowered herself into it. Cohvu and Oscar were both staring at her. The twins grinned widely.

"Hi, Mum," Xalo said happily and Fawn leapt up from her seat to give Elphaba a quick hug before sitting down again.

Elphaba smiled at them both. "Hey, darlings. It's good to be up again," she said. "What are we having for dinner?"

"Elphaba, are you sure –" Oscar began, but she gave him a look and he wisely decided to shut up. Galinda giggled at the look on his face.

Fiyero came in not much later and he, too, did a double-take when he saw Elphaba, but then he just smiled at her and took the seat next to her. "Hey, Fae. It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," she said, returning his smile.

There was still a lot for her to work through, she thought as she looked around at her friends and family, both physically and emotionally; but with all these wonderful people around her, for the first time she felt sure that everything really was going to be okay.