Hay

Ok i'm officially done with critiques

If ur gonna suggest something could you at least notice a chapter you liked? ;-; i would just appreciate it knowing that you like my story but a specific chapter wasn't right or something…

Sorry if i'm being rude

Im that big jerk who loves you :3

Ouch Kanan, that was mean. WHAT U MEAN MOST OF THE TIME?

Also sorry i havent updated i've been replaying some video games on xbox .3.

CALL'O'DUTEE GHOSTS AND STUFF oh and sacred citadel and minecraft

The list goes on

Also if you want a sweet image that kind of goes with my entire book of stories on my prof just go to Lorna-KA's tumblr and look at Blueberry huggin his daddi desperately its great

Guest wanted to see Ezra have another panic attack.

Takes place after they return to the Rebel Base

Italic dialogue- talking in the force

Anyways, Enjoy!

"Master?" A slightly timid voice calls out, voice muffled but echoed as he raps his knuckles lightly on the door. Normally, Ezra would barge right in, smiling and pulling him up for training. But, this wasn't about smiling.

This was real.

No response.

Ezra steps in, letting the door slide shut behind him with a quiet hiss as he looks at the sleeping, unmasked form of his mentor's body.

Ezra was surprised, Kanan must've been really tired if he wasn't waking up by now. Usually, he would use the force to locate his presence and ask him what he wanted. This was different, Kanan was asleep.

Ezra moves forward, his bed shirt creasing uncomfortably against his skin as he pulls the sleeves down his wrist to straighten them. Sitting on his knees, Ezra sighs, brows furrowing as he puts a hand on the bunk.

His force signature is loud, compulsive as it sleeps in the wake of the force. It's warm and Ezra is tempted to reach out, but he pulls away, withdrawing his signature and cutting off his communication with Kanan as he raises his shields defensively.

The first thing he feels?

Cold.

Ezra hated the cold. The feeling, the cold touch that would seep into his bones and sink in like a scar. The times he connected to the dark side? They would show on his skin, when he touched the point it would freeze and his body would go numb, his mind blank as he tries to desperately pull out of it's hold.

But, whenever he was with Kanan, he was warm and happy, willing to protect the ones he cared about the most with his life if necessary. He felt confident and secure, safe.

But not this time.

He was cold, shivering and teeth grinding unnaturally as he remembers those four words.

Most of the time.

What the hell did that mean? Most of time? Was… he not a padawan?

"I know you can hear me."

"I know, I'm a bad student… a bad friend…"

"I don't listen, I'm too compulsive."

"I don't think about the others or myself…"

"I put everyone in danger."

"I'm sorry."

"I've failed."

"I said that I'd try to better, but I'm worse. And no matter how many times I say it… it's never true."

"I'm a liar."

"I know I'm not the greatest padawan, I'm not a good soldier… I…" he snorts. "I know this isn't a game."

"I'm a failure to the rebellion, I'm trying."

"I don't think… I don't know…"

"It hurt."

"What did you mean by… 'most of the time'?"

"Kanan are you finally getting rid of me?"

"I need… to know."

"I want to be better, but I can't do that if you can't… tell me what's going on- Kanan I need your guidance."

"Please, master."

"I'm useless on my own…"

"I need someone to tell me what I'm doing wrong… tell me my flaws."

"I can't stand by and do nothing, I want to help you but I can't because… I'm afraid."

"Why am I so scared, Kanan?"

He sucks in a breath, choking a sob down as he blinks rapidly, looking up at the ceiling as he purses his lips and continues. "I'm afraid of him finding me again."

"I don't want him to…"

"Ezra."

The teen's head snaps up, immediately letting go of Kanan's hand.

"U-uhm yes master?" He keeps his head down.

"I'm… not worthy of approval. I'm sorry. Forgive me."

Two hands grasp at his face, turning him up toward blank eyes. Ezra springs backwards, stumbling down the hall and into the only safe place he could really hide.

The Supply Closet.

Ezra hauls himself into the hollow space with his elbows and closes the gate, curling up as he muffled his sobs.

"Ezra?" the teen silences, hearing the echo of the man's voice outside. "Come out, you know I can sense you!" Putting his hands over his mouth, he scrunches his eyes shut. "Go away! I've already embarrassed myself enough!"

"No, you haven't! Ezra-"

Ezra cuts off the connection, putting his hands over his ears.

The door to the supply closet opens, and a rough calloused hand grips his forearm, moving to pull him out. "Ezra, please. We need to talk."

"No- no!"

"Ezra, I couldn't be more proud of you."

"Stop lying."

"I'm not lying, Ezra!"

"We need to talk, pronto." He pulls the teen up, whispering comforting words as he urges Ezra to sit and take a breath. Once he had calmed, Kanan begins again.

"I'm proud of you."

"No you're not, Kanan, I can see it in your…" He sighs. "Eyes…"

"Ezra it's okay to be afraid as long as you realize that you don't give in to your emotions, you have to control it. Harness and be able to balance out your levels so you keep a level-head so you can make the right decisions, and choose the right path as my padawan and a jedi."

"I... Think I understand…"

"Ezra?"

"Hmm?"

"I won't let Maul get to you. Ever. I made a promise to protect you, and I'm going to do that."

"..." Ezra's eyebrows furrow. He looks up at his mentor and smiles, shifting closer. "Thank you, master."

Nodding, the jedi chuckles. "You're welcome."

Yasss

OMG IF UR A WALKING DEAD FAN PM LIKE NOW WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SEASON 7

Also I'm (maybe) starting a walking dead one-shots story so maybe go check that out please?

Hey- I'm that big jerk you love :3

May the Force be with you!

~Blueberries