Simon sat stoicly in the back seat of Paul's SUV as they drove around the golf course to exit onto Primrose Lane which surprised him since when Cynthia had brought them she had merely driven to the northeast end of Lilac Dr and then turned left onto Lexington Drive and proceeded east past Cypress Street and finally Lexington Drive had ended in an entrance to the PEMBROKE COUNTRY CLUB & GOLF COURSE. So he was a little suspicious with their rerouting. Especially when Paul turned left onto SUNSET AVE just past where the entrance to the highway was.

"Where are we going?" Simon asked.

"I thought we could stop for some hot cocoa before we went home. I know your sister wants to sleep and Danielle and Kati were anxious to shower but I thought you two would be up for it." Matt explained.

Simon looked at him skeptically. Matt and Kristin had also been skiing out on the course to act as spotters and they were both still wearing ski attire so he wasn't sure why they would be less likely to want to shower. He wondered if Derek was really taking Lucy home or if it was a ploy.

"Hey can we stop there?" Ruthie asked pointing at a Ben & Jerry's as Paul stopped for a red light.

"Sure, they have icecream and hot chocolate and some other things. I guess you probably don't have Ben&Jerry's in CA," Matt agreed. Paul managed to do a little creative maneuvering and pull into the Ben & Jerry's parking lot.

Simon was still skeptical as he followed Kristin, Paul, Matt, and Ruthie into the icecream shop which seemed to be decorated with black and white cows all over. The shop was pretty empty which made sense to Simon because why would you order icecream in the winter? Icecream and snow didn't seem to go together. Of course he did remember Danielle had served them icecream the first night they had been there so maybe the Stewarts were icecream people. Of course he supposed the icecream had been Ruthie's idea. By the time Simon was done analyzing he realized they were waiting for him to order. He selected Cherry Garcia and moved on in line, not really giving much thought to his choice.

When the girl behind he counter who looked familiar for some reason handed him his cone he followed Kristin and Paul to a table in the back of the shop. Matt stood at the register waiting to pay for the 5 cones. He handed the young woman who's nametag identified her as "Nicole" a twenty but she seemed distracted. He smiled warmly, and waited patiently for his change. He dropped one dollar bill and the coins into the tips cup on the counter, placed the five back in his wallet and dropped the remaining two dollars in the Children's Rights Fund box.

He licked his cone as he walked back to the table and sat down. Ruthie was talking about cows when he joined them. He informed her that the black and white kind were Holsteins, the kind his parents still raised. He was unsure how to approach the next topic so he took another lick of his cone. "Your sister wanted me to give both of you an opportunity to talk about your feelings," Matt began.

"Our feelings?" Simon questioned.

"You mean that Lucy is sick?" Ruthie asked.

"Yes, Lucy is sick. Lucy has an illness referred to as anorexia nervosa which..."

"So she does have an eating disorder!" Simon shouted, and then lowered his voice when he noticed that a little white haired couple had turned to stare at them.

"Yes," Matt answered simply.

"Well I'm glad that's all it is. Now she can stop being silly and start eating. She isn't fat."

"Unfortunately it isn't that easy for her Simon. Eating disorders really have very little to do with weight or even food. Not eating helps your sister feel like she's coping with life. Unfortunately it's a dangerous way to cope so Lucy is trying to find more healthy ways to express her feelings," Matt explained.

"She could die couldn't she?" Ruthie asked her lip quivering. It was a question she had been afraid to ask. One of the sites she had looked at the night before had included a memorial wall of people who had died as a result of their eating disorders. Ruthie had cried as she read the wall.

"Eating disorders can kill and some people do die before recovering or subsequently die from a medical complication of the eating disorder. I want you both to know that your sister is getting help and is working on getting better, and she loves you both very much," Matt finished.

"If she loved us she wouldn't do this," Simon challenged.

"I know it may feel that way but Lucy's eating disorder isn't because of anything you have done or not done. Your sister is unhappy and she doesn't like herself very much right now which may make it hard for her to always show you that she loves you. She came to me with concern about both of you. She wanted you to know the truth but she didn't know how to tell you. I think she didn't want you to be scared. But I disagree I'm not sure how you can not be scared for your sister. I think what is important is that both of you have people you can talk to about these fears and I wanted to give you that opportunity now."

"How can you tell me that Lucy could die?" Ruthie asked

"I can tell you that it could happen because as much as I wouldn't want it to it could. I can't lie to you Ruthie and I don't really think it would be helpful if I did. I can tell you that this family loves your sister and loves you and that no matter what happens we will be here if you need us," Matt finished as his cell phone began to ring.

"Good evening. Judge Stewart." he said hoping to hear his wife's voice but he was not so fortunate. What was it with the holiday season being the time to abuse your children he wondered as he heard from a caseworker who was in an ER in the northern tip of the county that they had a shaken baby case and needed an emergency placement hearing.

"Why don't you fax the case details to the courthouse and tell the parents I can hear this at 7pm. If they are in Herbertville it will take them at least 2 perhaps 3 hours to get here so and it's already 3:30." he suggested. So much for an evening with his wife Matt thought hanging up the phone.

He looked at Ruthie who had fallen into Kristin's arms. She was only 10 it was a lot to take. Simon was silent yet Matt sensed that his eyes showed more worry than anger although he didn't want to admit that. Finally Ruthie spoke, "Will you really take care of Lucy?" she asked.

"We'll do our best."

"My parents wouldn't understand they would think it was about food and they would yell at her to eat. Well dad did once some people at church said something to him and they made her eat but they don't know that she got sick after dinner that night. We couldn't tell Mary either she wouldn't understand and she would tease Lucy and it would probably just make her sadder," Ruthie spoke quickly sniffling as she talked.

Simon was still silent but finally he nodded. "She's right. Our parents wouldn't get it. I'm not really sure we get it but if you tell me what to do I'll try to do it."

"You love your sister. Let her know that, she will appreciate it even if it doesn't always seem that way. And realize that this is her illness you didn't cause it and as much as you probably want you can't fix it." Kristin said.

As they left the empty icecream shop Nicole looked up from her register. It finally hit her why the children looked so familiar, they were Lucy's little brother and sister. Lucy Camden had been her best friend from fifth through tenth grade and in many ways they had been so much alike. Lucy had been the only person who had understood what it had felt like to be uncomfortable in your own skin. Even after Nicole had moved with her dad to Chicago she and Lucy had written letters and emails. But all of that had stopped around the beginning of Lucy's senior year. She had received an emotional email from Lucy written at what would have been 1 am west coast time and although it had been jumbled and not made sense Nicole had wondered if she had been raped. She had called her friend as soon as she read the email but Lucy had brushed off her concerns and after that Lucy's email address stopped working. She had written a few more letters which Lucy never answered if she received them. And then she had tried to call one final time around the end of May, she and her mom were planning to move to middle of nowhere PA and she kind of wanted to let Lucy know her new address just in case Lucy ever cared to contact her. Lucy hadn't been home so she had tried to leave it with Mary instead but she wasn't sure if Lucy even got it.

Seeing Simon and Ruthie reminded Nicole how much she really did miss Lucy. It almost seemed ironic that Lucy had been her friend through all the awkward moments and now as her life was finally coming together she couldn't share the good news with her friend. Or was her life coming together? Nicole knew her dad questioned that. He was disappointed that she still hadn't finished high school, although she was doing home school and would plan to finish in the end of January. She would even be starting a class at Pembroke College for spring semester, and she was finally committed to fighting her eating disorder. She was enrolling in the Pembroke Partial Hospitalization ED Program in January when it became a new benefit year on her mom's insurance.

Then Nicole remembered what she had overheard. Simon had shouted loud enough for the entire shop to hear actually. Someone Simon and Ruthie knew had an eating disorder. She supposed it could be anyone but somehow in her heart she knew it was Lucy and that made her even more desperate to find her friend.

Paul pulled into the driveway and let his wife, father in law and Ruthie and Simon out at the top and then drove around the loop back down to park in the garage. Simon lingered outside, "Uh I'm going to go for a walk." he said.

"Ok, I'll come." Ruthie agreed.

"No!" Simon yelled and turned away.

Ruthie allowed Kristin to wrap an arm around her shoulders and lead her indoors.

Paul met Simon as he was trudging back up the driveway. "Whoa where are you off to?"

"I'm going for a walk."

It was almost 4 and the sun was beginning to set. Paul knew it would be dark in another hour or so. "Would you like some company?" he offered.

Simon hesitated. "Suit yourself," he finally muttered continuing down the driveway. Paul followed him pulling his cell phone from the pocket of his leather jacket and removing one glove to dial the familiar number.

Kristin answered the phone in the kitchen on the first ring. When Paul told her he was going for a walk with Simon she thanked him. Paul slipped his phone back in his pocket and followed Simon down the street along Lilac Park. Simon was silent as they walked, finally they reached the end of Lilac Drive where it connected with Lexington Drive right by Lilac Park Elementary the quasi private neighborhood school that first Kristin, then Bethany and Danielle and finally Kati attended. Simon loped across the street onto the school grounds. Paul followed him in silence until eventually they stopped on the school playground.

As Simon sat down on a swing he had no idea what he was doing. He wasn't five anymore on a kiddy playground. Paul joined him and sat on an adjacent swing. As they swung gently he smiled remembering happier moments playing with Kati on the playground and also a few significant conversations he and Kristin had had while swinging on the same swings.

"She's always been the fragile one," Simon finally spoke. "I guess I haven't helped it, I've kind of made fun of her insecurities. I didn't mean anything by it though, it's just brother and sister stuff you know?"

Paul nodded although he wasn't sure he really did know, he had two older brothers. He loved them both dearly but he also could remember some of their childhood skirmishes.

"Do you have a sister?" Simon asked.

"No just two brothers, Phillip, and Thad."

"Thad?"

"Well Thaddeus but I learned at a young age I wouldn't call him that and live very long. My parents were a little biblical in their name choice."

"Hmm. We have Matthew, Mary, Simon, Ruth, Samuel, and David. Oh and Lucy, even her name doesn't fit with the others. No wonder she feels like she doesn't belong."

"Kristin was right about what she said. You didn't do this."

"So how do I undo it?"

"Unfortunately she's right about that part too. You can't. You're human and as hard as it is to accept you can't fix other's lives. The Lord knows I've tried but sometimes you have to give up to God."

"What do you mean?"

"Do all that you can but let go of that which you can't. For months I've watched Kristin struggle with this pregnancy and I've done all I can to support her but hard as it is I've had to trust our Lord with her life and that of our unborn child. You have to trust him with Lucy. Perhaps in God's love she'll find her way back."

"Perhaps," Simon said although he wasn't so certain. He was afraid to admit to Paul that he wondered if Lucy even knew God's love. However even in his few days in the Stewart's house it had seemed more obvious than at home. He found that a bit ironic since their father was a pastor. He put his feet down and stood up off the swing.

Again Paul followed him and they started the walk back to the Stewart's in silence. They returned to 1872 Lilac Drive and opening the door a rush of warm air greeted Simon and he removed his jacket in the front hall. Kristin came into the hall and embraced her husband. "You have excellent timing. Dinner is ready. My mom is home and we're taking advantage of this moment."

Simon followed them into the dining room surprised to see that he and Ruthie were the only members of their family present. Derek explained that Lucy was still sleeping. Simon was surprised that his parents weren't back however they had been rather vague about their plans when they left around 10. There had been some mention of taking the twins to Sesame Place an amusement park outside Philadelphia but Simon had thought that Cynthia had tried to explain she thought it was closed for the season. Anyway Philadelphia was only a little less than three hours away so it would have been afternoon before they got there.

Meanwhile in Philadelphia Eric was anything but happy. Cynthia had been correct and Sesame Place had closed for the season in October. Then he had tried to take the twins to the children's museum but that had been a complete disaster as it was closed as well on the day after Christmas. Finally in desperation he had found a downtown McDonalds and allowed Mary and Robbie to venture off and find somewhat more adult food.

Around six pm they had regrouped, and begun the long trip home which fatigued Eric merely thinking about it. For some reason there was a lot of congestion in the city which made no sense to Eric the day after Christmas at 6pm. Of course he was unaware that there was a sixers game at Union Center which started at seven pm. Finally they reached the highway although traffic was barely moving on the interstate. Almost two hours into the trip when he was about to yell about the guy in front of him who had allowed someone to merge into their lane Eric noticed that his low fuel light was on. Fortunately traffic seemed to ease a little and Eric figured he could make it to a gas station, until he saw the sign that said next service area twenty eight miles.

Figuring he had nothing left to loose Eric drove onward. As he was perhaps fourteen miles from the service area the van began to splutter and then the engine died as Eric coasted off the interstate. However, he hit a pothole on his coast and ended up stopping very roughly and with a flat tire. The maneuver jolted his entire family awake. "WhaaWhaaaaaat happened?" Annie stammered.

"We ran out of gas." Eric said nonchalantly.

"How did we run out of gas?" Annie asked.

"Well obviously I didn't fill the tank soon enough!" Eric yelled.

The twins started to cry. "Uhh I think we have a flat tire too," Robbie observed. It was too much in frustration Eric hit the steering wheel which caused the horn to blare. The twins cried harder. In the back seat Mary rolled her eyes.

"Well give me the cell phone I'll call for help," Annie said exasperatedly.

Eric was silent. He just remembered he had left the cell phone on the bureau in their guest suite. His wife was looking possessed and he was afraid to tell her he had forgotten to bring it. Especially since he remembered her reminding him to grab it before they left.

Just then Eric picked up the glare of headlights in his rearview mirror. It seemed that someone had pulled over to help them. He instructed the family to lock their doors and then he cautiously rolled down the window. He was surprised to see a familiar face. "Reverend Camden, is everything alright?" Adam Stewart asked.

Honestly Eric was uncertain whether he would rather freeze to death or be rescued by the Stewart's son. "We ran out of gas." Sam happily volunteered from the back.

"There is a service area just up the road. Why don't we go get some gas and then we'll get you back on the road...just as soon as we change this flat" Adam said looking down at the driver's side tire. Loading the Camden Clan into his one of his parents two minivans he smiled realizing that while he had been annoyed the service station hadn't finished with his car in time for his trip to visit some old high school friends he never would have fit all the Camdens in his Honda. As always God had a plan.

Eric insisted on staying with the van. Adam tried to offer him one of the special placards the highway patrol recognized as a disabled vehicle, but still Eric insisted on staying with the van.

"So what brings you all the way out here?" Annie inquired as they drove.

"I was visiting some friends from high school. We're actually a little less than an hour from Pembroke."

"Oh I had no idea it all looks the same to me." Annie said.

They pulled into the service area and Adam let Annie and the twins out near the entrance to the restaurant and gift shop so the twins could go to the bathroom. He then drove over to the fuel island and hopped out of the van where he opened the back hatch and reached into the storage compartment below the floor where he found a spare tire bolted in the center. Two milk crates were positioned behind the tire. One contained a set of neatly coiled jumper cables, and tools to change the tire. The other contained a blanket, flares, and a first aid kit. Next to the second crate was an empty gas tank which Adam removed and then replaced the floor and then closed the hatch.

Adam shivered a little as he filled the three gallon tank. The temperature had dropped another ten degrees since the sun had set and there was a significant windchill factor. He paid for the gas with his credit card and as he opened the hatch again to put the gas tank inside he decided to suggest that Annie and the Camden children wait at the service area in the heated lounge area while he and Eric changed the tire. He pulled around by the restaurant and went in to find Annie and the children.

Not spotting the Camdens, Adam went into the gift shop where he purchased a pair of leather gloves for Eric and a few coloring books and crayons for the twins to amuse themselves with. As he was coming out of the gift shop with his purchases he saw the Camdens. He explained the plan to Annie, she agreed and he set out to drive back to Eric.

Eric was sitting in the van shivering when he pulled off to the road. Adam hopped out and handed him the gloves he had purchased which Eric accepted only reluctantly. He then set to work changing the tire on the van and finally they had Eric back on the road. Adam drove on towards Pembroke and Eric headed to the Service Area to refuel for the rest of the trip.

Perhaps Eric and Annie could have appreciated Adam's assistance and been more accepting of him and his family in the future. Perhaps it could have even renewed their faith in God that he had watched over them and sent help. It did neither. Instead they both resented that they had needed Adam's help and it only widened the gulf with their daughter.