A/N: Ummm... yeah... I hope this is ok... a bit out of my usual realm... another chapter that makes me want to hide my face. I wrote it fast and it's kinda hard for me to edit it. I apologize for any mistakes.

Of course, all comments, criticisms, pep talks and gibberish are accepted and greatly appreciated.

Giving in was harder than he expected. The Doctor had held his mind away from Rose for so long, with so much energy and concentration that dropping those barriers and reaching out wasn't as natural as he thought it would be. It was like holding something tightly in your fist for so long that you forget how to open up your hand and let go.

And it hurt.

He briefly wondered if, now that he had decided to open himself up, he would ever be able to throw up his shields again. Not to Rose, of course, there would be no way for him to shut her out any longer, but he felt a bit like the door to his mind was on rusted hinges and had swelled in the frame from the eternity of beatings his mind had sustained. Once the door was pried open, would the hinges snap? Would the door ever be able to fit back in the frame? Could it ever be closed again, to anyone?

It was too late and he was too far gone to fear. He'd already started to reach out to Rose. His misgivings were giving way to excitement and a different kind of anxiety fluttered in his stomach. Anticipation was causing these palpitations, now that he had decided to surrender.

But he hit a wall.

For a moment he thought he hadn't proceeded as he was supposed to. Focusing internally he discounted that theory. He was wide open, stretching himself towards Rose, aching to be welcomed in. He was plunging himself into her but met with resistance.

Reality shocked him.

She wasn't letting him in.

Focusing outwardly again, the Doctor saw Rose with her hands at her temples, in obvious agony. Her cheeks were wet as tears leaked from her eyes from the strain she was exerting. It seemed impossible. She shouldn't be able to keep him out. His mind should be stronger than her shields, but it seemed she was going to continue to surprise him.

He reeled himself back, not wanting to force himself upon her, he didn't want to break her. Could it be that she didn't want this? Then why would she continually reach out to him? Maybe she couldn't control it.

She groaned slightly.

He moved to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. He could help her.

"No! Don't!"

Please don't hate me.

He was absolutely reeling. The feeling of connectedness was overwhelming. Shock ripped through him, arcing from his head down his spine to the tips of his toes. Pleasure the likes of which he'd never known shot through him nearly knocking him to his knees. His neural function short circuited. He was a quivering mess, gasping and moaning and never feeling better in his life.

I'm so sorry.

Breaking through his euphoria was a whisper of sadness and guilt. It was totally out of place for such an awe inspiring experience. It didn't compute. Why would anyone be sorry about this? Why would anyone regret it?

Oh...

Righting himself, he managed to pull together enough of his sensibilities to realize that the feelings were coming from Rose. Immediately he felt ashamed. And sick. What had he done? This was the ultimate violation. He'd forced himself on her! This was despicable. Bile was rising in his throat.

He wrenched himself away from her, bent in half, blindly backing up while trying not to vomit. He had to shut himself off from her. Oh, how had this happened!

Doctor, please... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to do it.

If he could just control his breathing he could get a handle on himself, could start to figure this out.

"Doctor, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just couldn't hold back anymore." She bent down near him, wanting to touch him to comfort him, but also to assure herself that he was still all right. She resisted, not knowing if her touch would be welcomed or if it would only exacerbate his suffering.

Something penetrated his thoughts. He looked up slightly, confused. Was Rose apologizing to him? What had he missed? He dropped to his knees, gathering himself. His movement made him brush against Rose.

He was flooded with concern and a touch of fear and self recrimination.

He froze.

It couldn't possibly be, could it? He had to know, to be sure.

Unable to resist, he turned toward Rose and grabbed her hands and held them to his temples. He shivered as they made contact and threw his mind wide open, broadcasting how much he wanted this connection with her, how much he craved it.

She gasped. Neither of them were sure if it was audible or totally inward, a gasp of the body or of the mind.

Don't let go. He whispered longingly into her mind. Slowly he moved his hands from hers at his head and made to touch her temples. Can I? Please? He nearly begged.

Rose wasn't sure of exactly what was going on, but she felt the Doctor filling her, completing her and the sheer bliss of his presence was sublime. She had never felt anything like it before and couldn't possibly imagine anything ever feeling better than this connection. If she had known before what this would be like, there would have been no way she would have the strength of will to fight it. All she wanted was to lose herself in the sensation, wrap herself around him so tightly that they could never be torn apart again, never even really exist without the other.

Her reverie was interrupted by a soft whimpering. She opened her eyes, not realizing they had been closed, to find the Doctor's hand poised at her temples. The small sounds were coming from him as he tried to wait for her permission to touch her. She was unsure of how to grant his request. His eyes were closed and he had already asked her not to move hers away from his head.

Please. She heard again in her mind.

Focusing on communicating to him telepathically, she tried to convey her unconditional approval of his desire.

Yes, Doctor.

He groaned as his hands made contact and suddenly the connection intensified. It was amazing. She felt him. All of him. As if she were inside of him but also still inside herself.

She felt his yearning, his desperate longing, how he had missed her so incredibly, his incredulity at her being here, like this with him.

Her body responded physically, as did his.

They melted into an ardent embrace, lips smashing against each other, tongues sliding inside, caressing, bodies fusing together as closely as possible while still allowing their hands to remain in place. As their hips connected they both moaned, frustrated with the space and clothing that still separated them but unwilling or unable to take any action to rectify it.

"Rose." He groaned, the sound so desperate, so full that it nearly brought her to her knees. She'd dreamed of hearing him say her name with that inflection and the reality was so much better than any fantasy she ever had. Her grip tightened on him and she poured herself into the kiss as she poured her very soul into their connection.

Rose was finally overcome by the need to be physically closer to him and dropped her hands from his temples to begin to push at his suit jacket. But as soon as she lost contact the connection to him became weaker and she found herself addled by the suppressed emotions, almost immediately her hands sought his head again but she was growing more distressed by the inability to feel his skin.

Doctor. I need…

Anything Rose, you can have anything.

I need all of you.

Groaning at her admission and being in total agreement with her passion, he pulled away from her, effectively muffling their link, and leaving them both longing for the other. Rose tried to reach for him again, but he stayed her motions.

"Rose, I need to ask you something."

x13x