"So, you want to hit KFC on the way home?" I ask, waiting to see if he'll nag me about eating fried food.

"Can we eat in the car?" he asks.

I shrug. "It's not my car, although we should probably clean it out in the next couple weeks, before Dad and Angela get back."

This time, I'm the one driving to and from the airport. Dad said we could use his Jeep while he's gone, but I was too depressed a month and a half ago to fight Jonathan for the car keys.

Mona is again leaving from JFK to LAX. We saw her off again, although we don't know how long it'll be for this time. She stayed in Connecticut only a week, but that was long enough to change things.

It was at least nice to have her advice about my job interview, and not just the outfit. She used to work in personnel (that's how she met Norman actually), and she knows how businesspeople think. But mostly she told me to be myself. So that's what I did yesterday.

"Let's eat in and then you can tell me more about your interview."

"Sure." It's better than getting it to go and eating at home. I suppose Jonathan and I could go back to having meals in the kitchen at the main house, but it's going to be awkward on our own again. Yes, we're alone now, but we are in a moving car.

We go to a KFC in New Rochelle. I don't think we'll let the conversation drift into dangerous areas, but just in case, I'd just as soon not run into anyone we know.

We order, get our food, and find a table. I take a bite of my drumstick. "Mmm, Baby X loves fried chicken!"

He's amused. "So that's what you're calling my niece?"

I shrug. "Or your nephew if that's what it is."

"Are you going to find out?"

"Yeah, when I'm far enough along to get an ultrasound."

"Cool either way."

I smile. "Yeah, it is." OK, X's daddy is indifferent, but the rest of the family will be pleased. Well, Dad and Angela will be surprised, but I think they'll be happy once the shock wears off.

"So tell me about the interview."

"Well, I met with the owners of the company."

"Harmony & Hominy?" He smiles.

"Yeah. Kurt and Kourtney Palmer. The company was Kurt & Kourt at first, but then they didn't want to be mixed up with Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, although this Kourtney spells it with a K. Anyway, Kurt Palmer is southern, so that's where the 'hominy' comes from."

"Like grits?"

"Yeah. And guess what, Jonathan?"

"What?"

"It's children's music!"

"What, like Barney?"

"No, it's really rockin', but cute."

"Did you tell them you're pregnant?"

"No, I didn't want that to influence them one way or the other. But I did tell end up singing 'Puff the Magic Dragon' for them."

"Really? Did they ask you to sing? I thought they're looking for managers."

"They are. And I just sang a little bit, because I was thinking of when I sang with you. And I felt like kind of a dork, but they liked it."

"Cool. Do you think you'll get it?"

I shrug. "I don't know. They seemed to like me, but they're nice people, so it was hard to tell."

"Just think, you can get free CDs and play them for Baby X in utero."

I laugh. "Yeah, not the perks I was picturing back when I managed Al's band, but still cool."

"Well, I hope you get it."

"Me, too. But even if I don't, I feel better about everything."

"Everything?" Oh God, those big brown eyes! His mother's eyes are deep but his are wide and still innocent, despite all that's happened.

I take his hand, not caring about the grease. "Jonathan, I'm sorry this month didn't go where we thought it would go. But I don't regret it."

"I don't either. And it won't necessarily be over forever, right?"

"Oh, Jonny, my life is so crazy, I can't make any promises."

"What did you call me?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from."

"It beats 'Geek' and 'Dweeb.' "

"And 'Snake-Boy'?"

"No, that's one sexy. I think I'll get a tattoo with that."

"And a big boa constrictor eating the words?"

"Yeah!"

And we spend the rest of the meal imagining tattoos we could get. My favorite for me is "Baby X" in cursive on my belly, to be stretched out as my pregnancy advances. And we laugh imagining his mother's reaction to our tattoos. No, we don't suggest hearts with our names intertwined.

On the rest of the way home, I play the CD Kurt & Kourt gave me yesterday. I don't know if it was like a consolation prize on a game show, or an unspoken promise of a job. Or maybe it was just them being nice. It's got samples of different bands they represent. Jonathan pretends to be annoyed at first, me making him listen to kids' music, but soon we're both singing along and being silly. I picture me, Uncle Jonathan, and Baby X rocking out together a couple summers from now. Baby X will be able to walk and dance by then.

When we get home, I want to invite him upstairs to my apartment, but I can't. I promised Mona to cool it down. And maybe I think we can just hang out, but it's a slippery slope. After all, we held hands at the Colonel's! Who knows where this could lead?

"Well, goodnight, Sam," he says as we get out of the car.

"Goodnight, Jonathan. Um, have a good weekend."

"Yeah, you, too."

I head upstairs before this can get any more awkward. I sigh as I shut the door, but I know I did the right thing. Or rather, I didn't do the wrong thing, which is unusual for me.

Then I notice the answering machine light blinking. Did I get the job? Is it Hank? Maybe it's Dad and Angela. They haven't called in weeks, not since Rome. I figure they've been lost in honeymoon bliss all this time and barely remember they have kids. And of course they don't know about all the drama they're missing. Or maybe it's Bonnie, telling me she broke up with the new guy, before I even got to hear her gush about him.

I hit Play and the time is ten minutes ago. Whoever it was, I just missed them, and would've talked to them if Jonathan and I had got take-out.

I don't have long to wonder though, because I immediately recognize my darling husband's voice: "Sam, we need to talk. I'm coming right over."

Right over?! From where? And why now?

OK, calm down, Sam. Let's think. He's not calling from California. It sounded like he's in town, probably at his parents'. If he were in New York, he wouldn't have phrased it that way. I wonder when he flew in. If only I'd known, we could've picked him up at the airport when we saw Mona off.

"Baby X, your daddy's on his way over and I don't know what to do or say. I thought he'd call first. I mean from California. And it's been five days. Why the urgency now?"

Maybe Fran didn't reach him right away. Or maybe he had to sort out his life in California. After all, Whatshername can't be too thrilled about the news, stepbaby cravings or not.

Well, I'll find out soon. Do I even have time to brush my hair? I hear a knock. OK, let me get a scrunchie.

As I put my hair in a ponytail, I wonder if it might actually be Jonathan. Maybe he wants to hang out. Oh, Jonny, please not now. Or would it be good to have him here for moral support? No, Hank is not going to want to say anything in front of his kid-brother-in-law. And I'm afraid that this is a necessary conversation. I can talk to Jonathan after Hank leaves.

I take a deep breath, silently ask Baby X and Mama to wish me luck, and open the door.

"Oh, good, you're home."

"Yeah, I just got back from the airport."

"The airport?"

"We were seeing off Mona." I don't know if he knows about all that with Norman. He might, considering Whatshername is working on the movie.

But all he says is "Oh. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure." I resist saying, "Make yourself at home."

He sits on the couch, so I take a chair.

"So, uh, how have you been?"

"Pregnant."

"Yeah, I heard."

"How have you been?"

"Not pregnant."

"Good."

"Sam, I want you to know I had no idea this would happen."

"Me neither. But I didn't have one foot out the door when I spread my legs."

He winces.

"So tell me, Hank, since I forgot to ask you a couple months ago, were you sleeping with her then?"

"No, not before I left."

"So you were what? Holding hands? Snuggling? Sharing burning glances?"

"Um, at that point? We'd necked I think."

"Well, that answers the safe sex question. Although it does raise the question, why did you leave me for a woman you'd only necked with?"

"Sam, I'd been unfaithful to you!"

I mull on that. Well, it wasn't full-on infidelity, but it wasn't exactly fidelity. I remember kissing Mason one night, even though he wasn't my type, and I felt very guilty, till I found out that Jesse had kissed another girl. (Not the one he later left me for.) And, yes, I haven't exactly been celibate since Hank left, but he started it.

"Well, anyway, that's water under the bridge. Let's talk child support."

"Child support?"

"Yes, Hank. I know you didn't ask for this kid, but she, or he, is half yours. And if you won't help me support it, then don't expect to ever see it."

"Sam, what are you talking about?"

"I'm going to have this baby. If you want to be a more involved father than Michael Bower, then you need to speak up now. Or forever hold your peace."

"Michael Bow—Oh, Angela's ex, right. Sam, you're not going through with the divorce, are you?"

"Me? You started this, Buster!"

"Sam, we're having a baby together!"

Oh, holy shit! Fran was right. Well, I guess she knows her son better than I do.

"Genetically together, yes. But not in the same household."

"You don't want to get back together?"

"Hank, you cheated on me! You left me! And I don't think staying together, I mean getting back together, for the sake of our child is a good reason."

"What if I'm still in love with you?"

I stare at him. "Are you?"

"Yes," he says quietly.

"What about Whatshername?"

He rolls his eyes. "You know her name."

I genuinely have forgotten her name. In my head she's been "Whatshername" for so long, and I thought that was a kind nickname considering what I could've chosen.

"I love Lisa, too."

I'm guessing that's Whatshername, unless he's in love with three women.

"Well, that's quite a dilemma, isn't it?"

"Sam, when I met her, we just really connected. But I have a history with you. And now a future."

I shake my head. "I'm the mother of your child. That's all the future we have."

"So you don't love me anymore?"

Damn, that's unfair! "Yes, I still have feelings for you. But things are different now."

"I broke up with her. And I'll do whatever I have to in order to win you back."

God, I hate how tempted I am! Why not forget all the craziness with Jonathan? I could never have a future with him. Hank is my husband. I could forgive him and we could be a happy family: me, him, and Baby X. Then I remember. "You haven't said you're sorry."

"Of course I'm sorry! It was the biggest mistake of my life!"

"But you love her."

"Yes, but I made a commitment to you."

"Poor Lisa," I murmur. I'm not being sarcastic.

"She understands. She wants me to be happy."

"Hank, even if you guys had broken up before this, it's too late. I've, I've moved on."

"Moved on? Have you met someone?"

"No," I say slowly, "I haven't met someone."

"OK. It's just you seem different."

I pat my still flat stomach.

"Not just that. You act different, you look different. Your hair, you've been growing it out."

"Yeah, inertia."

"I like it. You had it in that bob when we were together. That was cute, too."

"Thanks."

"So it's really over, isn't it?"

I want to say it was over two months ago, when he said he was leaving me, or maybe even before that, whenever he fell for Lisa. But I just nod.

"Can I have a hug goodbye?"

"Of course."

We stand up and hug, awkwardly at first, and then I remember how our bodies used to fit together. It's not natural like with Jonathan, but I remember how good it used to be.

To my surprise, he lets go and kisses my hand. Then he laughs. "Your hand is greasy."

"Oh, yeah, I went to KFC."

"And you didn't get a moist towelette?"

"I forgot." I want to tell him about going there with Jonathan, but I can't. He thinks of Jonathan as my stepbrother and that's all. I'm afraid to talk about even the innocent evening I spent because my voice might give me away.

"Should you be eating fast food when you're pregnant?"

He doesn't say it in a scolding way, like he has the right to tell me what to do as the baby's father. He says it teasingly.

"The baby loves fried chicken."
"OK."

"Sam, can I stay here tonight?"

I stare at him.

"Not like that. But could I sleep on the couch? I'm not ready to face my mom's questions tonight."

Poor Fran. She wants a happy ending for her son. She wants to think Hank and I can rebuild as a couple because we're going to be a nuclear family, and never mind the past explosions.

But if Hank stays here, I know me. I'll come downstairs in the middle of the night and invite him to share my bed, our bed not so long ago. After all, I didn't make any promises to Mona not to sleep with Hank.

It's so tempting to try to heal things through sex, but it would be wrong. I can't do that to Jonathan. And I can't do to that to myself. Hell, I can't even do that to Lisa.

"You can sleep on the couch."

His face lights up and I wonder if he knows me, too, knows how I'm tempted.

I quickly add, "At the main house."

"Oh. Um, won't Jonathan think that's weird?"

"Jonathan has gotten used to dealing with the weirdness of my life."

He laughs, although he doesn't know the whole reason that's funny. Then he frowns. "OK, Sam. Uh, I guess I'll see you around."

"Yes, in court. And you can visit me and the baby in the hospital."
He swallows. "All right. Uh, let me know if you need a Lamaze partner."
I stare at him again.

He strokes my ponytail. "Joking, Sam."

"Right." Please leave, Hank, before I kiss you.

"Goodnight, Sam. Take care."

"You, too."

And then he's gone. And I cry for the first time in weeks.