…8D Meet Fred.

"OHMYSHIFRITTIFA!"

The once deserted bar now bustled with life as Reno burst through the front door, squealing at the top of his lungs and running around in circles like a madman with his hands flailing in the air.

Tifa glanced up from her late-night cleaning duties wearing a weary frown. "What now, Reno? You find an alien in your backyard?"

Reno beamed at her. "Actually, yes."

"…You're drunk. Now there's a surprise," Tifa muttered, resuming her work. She'd grown quite accustomed to Reno's intoxicated state and the odd happenings that went with it, though that didn't mean she enjoyed the company. It was a tiring thing, looking after Reno. In fact, it was much like looking after a two year old child on a rainy day.

Reno exited and re-entered the bar, though this time with a fluoro green, fuzzy space creature sitting on his shoulder. "Meet Fred."

Tifa stared at the thing, awestruck. This was the first time one of Reno's bizarre findings actually existed in reality. "I'm dead. Tell me I'm dead. Or drugged. Yeah…That's it, drugged…"

Reno plucked the creature from his shoulder and held the small thing in the palm of his hand. Now Tifa could see quite clearly the alien-like features of it. It was made up of two pairs of black antennae, had three eyes, seven legs, a cat's tail, and a mouth strangely alike a '3'.

Yet all Tifa could ask was, "Why Fred?"

Reno replied with a hearty laugh. "Good question. See, I think he looks a lot like my Uncle Fred, what with his hairy stature and all. Hence the name Fred."

Tifa broke the sudden awkward silence with an equally awkward laugh. "That's…normal, Reno."

"Yeah," Reno was stroking his pet's green fuzz. "You should give it a pat before it chooses you as its enemy and devours your intestines while you sleep."

Tifa blinked, a tad bit disturbed, "O-kay…Does it bite?" She gingerly held out her hand to the creature.

At her gesture, Reno practically threw Fred at Tifa's fingers. "Nah, lookit him! He wouldn't hurt a rhino if it stabbed him up the ass! Well, maybe then…Ahem. Ignore me."

Instantaneously, the monster opened up its surprisingly massive jaw, revealing a long line of needle sharp teeth, and began to gnaw at Tifa's hand. Subsequently, Tifa screeched to the rooftops and flailed her arms around in the air wildly, crying for Reno to shoot the 'damn cursed freak of nature' before she got out the bazooka. Reno, being the intelligent, sharp-witted Turk that he was, reached for the nearest keg of ale and threw it at Tifa, causing the alcohol to drench the two to the bone.

"Well didn't that take skill!" Tifa exclaimed, hurling the gurgling and most likely now drunk creature against the bar wall, "I'm fricking drenched, you idiot!"

After Reno reclaimed his pet and dried it thoroughly, he answered, "Shh, not in front of the kid, hun. At least you haven't been gnawed to death."

"Oh, and whose fault would that have been, huh? Wait…wait. Did you just call me 'hun'?" Tifa was fuming now.

Reno, realising his mistake, took a few steps back and swallowed hard. His fate was not a pretty one, judging by the redness of his opponent's cheeks. "Um, well…That's really a matter of perspective-gah! Run Freddo, ruuuun!"

Tifa chased him out the bar door and down the street, throwing several empty beer bottles at him as she did so. "Be thankful it's not cats I'm hurling at you!"

"What!"

"Just shut up and run!"

Been really busy these past few weeks, moving houses and what not. So sorry for the delays in updating :l I hope you've enjoyed! And remember, reviews, no matter how short or long, are loved :D

Oh, and if you're awesome, you should listen to Mr Mysterious by Vanessa Amorosi :3 tis a cool song.