BENEATH THE SURFACE
Part Thirty-Five
*** Expect there to be discussions about abortion. Just throwing this out there as I know a lot of people don't agree and things like this get controversial, it's not my intention to start any heated debates or upset anyone, etc.***
On Wednesday night Rogue still couldn't sleep. Other than brief naps in the van on the way to and coming home from school and the odd half hour of dozing off in the rec room over the past few days, she'd slept very little. She had made a doctor's appointment for after school on Thursday and she was apprehensive about it.
All she kept desperately hoping for was that her doctor was going to tell her it was all a mistake, that Hank and the Professor had been wrong. Instinct had already told her there was nothing wrong about this. The morning sickness had continued although she'd managed to be discrete about it for the most part.
She'd always assumed morning sickness meant it would occur only in the morning, but she'd found hers happened mostly around lunch time. She'd taken a walk around the school grounds that lunch time to try and clear her head and breathe out the nausea, she'd eventually been a little sick in a shrub but luckily no one had been there to witness it. No one was ever going to know.
Rogue wasn't particularly sure what her doctors appointment was going to be like or what kind of things were going to be said. Although the Professor was insisting, she already felt it was useless in going; the doctor wasn't going to tell her anything she already didn't know.
At dinner time, Remy had been strangely quiet and reserved; he'd been tired again, he'd had enough of an appetite she supposed, but hadn't done much to join in with the conversation. In fact, Rogue wasn't certain he was actually paying much attention to the conversation at all, as he missed at least three opportunities to make rather good jokes that in the end, Bobby had been the one to make. It wasn't like Remy to miss those opportunities.
As much as she wanted to tell herself it was just paranoia, she was beginning to wonder if perhaps Remy had started to pick up on something, started to suspect about her condition. As she'd sat there at the table trying to eat and feeling not all that hungry, she'd found herself wondering how long it would be before they all suspected.
At that same dinner, Rogue had noticed Tabitha trying to catch Remy's eye; her behaviour was different, she was quieter, preoccupied. She'd look at Remy, her expression hopeful, her body language slightly desperate. Remy hadn't even taken notice, Rogue wasn't sure if he was deliberately ignoring the blonde or if he was just completely oblivious and unaware.
Either way, for now, Rogue felt slightly more assured that Tabitha had none of his attention. Besides, Logan had said it himself, there was nothing going on. Logan didn't lie and he didn't gossip. If he'd said it, he knewit was so. He had never struck Rogue as the type to make things up just to make others feel better.
Logan always tells it as it is, can always rely on that.
By three in the morning, Rogue still hadn't slept. She'd tossed and turned restlessly; exhaustion was pulling at her but the sleep just wouldn't come. Every time she'd felt even slightly close to clearing her mind a sudden thought about pregnancy or her future would pop up and suddenly she was full of questions and doubt.
Giving up, she left her room silently, and headed for Remy's room; right now the urge to see him was strong. She felt incredibly alone other than this thing in her belly, and right now, no one else was going to suffice.
It surprised her to find that Logan's bedroom door was open and that the room within was empty. Either he was down in the sub-basement working at something, or he was on a private mission. Maybe the others crept off on a mission...had to leave me out because Ah'm knocked up, Rogue thought miserably. She wondered how the Professor would explain that to Logan, how would he explain off the need to leave Rogue at home but let the others go?
He'd probably make up some excuse that Ah was sick or somethin', Rogue supposed. She stood for a few moments in the hall, almost waiting to be approached and immediately reprimanded for being out of bed; when Logan didn't show, she realised it was likely he wasn't on any of the mansion floors. It was safe to go to Remy's room.
Quietly all the same, she slipped into Remy's room and closed the door behind herself. Remy was sleeping soundly on his bed, the covers were still in place so perfectly it seemed he must have barely moved in his sleep. At least someone was sleeping peacefully, she thought.
Chewing her lip, she crept closer, hoping not to wake him. She shifted the covers and slipped into the bed beside him, curling up to his back. As she touched his hip she felt he was still wearing yesterday's jeans, he hadn't even bothered getting undressed, he'd climbed into bed as he was.
Guess he was tired, she supposed. He had seemed unusually tired all day at school, and even more so after. She almost resented that he could just sleep so easily and she was struggling to even nap long enough to feel refreshed.
Shifting closer, she breathed in the faint smell of yesterday's cologne; the move disturbed him, he shifted and mumbled something incoherently for a moment, and then froze where he lay. In a second he'd spun around and thrust his hands against her to push her away; she hadn't expected it and she realised it was lucky his bare hands hadn't caught her face inadvertently.
"Remy!" she gasped, almost falling out of the king sized bed.
Remy fumbled for the light-switch, the dim light from the energy bulb filled the area and she examined him, his eyes narrow and puffy as he struggled to make out what exactly had happened. He examined her right back, his expression confused, "Marie..."
"Sorry...Ah just...it was cold in my room...Ah couldn't get comfortable..." she lied rather lamely. Ah wanted to be close to you while you're here, before you leave me after findin' out what's goin' on.
"Did I hurt y'?" he asked, rubbing his head.
"No...Ah'm fine..." she swept her hair out of her face, "are you okay?"
"Yeah...y' jus' startle me is all...didn' expect y' t' come creepin' up t' me while I was sleepin'."
"Ah didn't think it would disturb you...you looked like you were sleepin' deep. And...you always said you liked it when we shared a bed..."
"I was...I do..." he rubbed his left eye tiredly, "y' jus' caught me off guard..." he sniffed a little, eyes mostly shut, he was struggling to wake up. He wasn't usually this lethargic when he woke. "Surprised y' got past Logan..."
"Yeah, Ah don't think he's around...maybe out on a mission or somethin'," Rogue reasoned, shrugging.
Remy lay back down, rubbing his head, a deep and tired sigh escaped his lips.
"You sure you're okay?" she asked quietly, sliding closer to him, she swept a gloved hand gently across his short hair.
"Yeah...I'm fine...was jus' out like a light is all."
"Were you dreamin'?" she asked.
Remy lay there for a moment, he seemed to be thinking, seemed to be remembering something. Yet, all the same he replied, "I don' know...can't remember now."
"Ohh," she mouthed silently, she shifted closer and lay her head against his chest, the cotton of his t-shirt was incredibly soft against her cheek, his body was warm; his heartbeat was slightly faster and harder than she'd anticipated it to be. Although he held her, she felt the tension in his body, he wasn't as relaxed as he'd been when he was sleeping, that was for sure.
He gave a slightly frustrated sigh, it was almost silent, but she heard it. She sensed his unease, sensed something was wrong. She also sensed that if she asked, he wasn't going to tell her. Just another one of those secrets he felt he had the right to keep to himself.
Just like the one she was keeping to herself.
Gently, she circled her gloved ring finger absently across his hard stomach, there were so many things she wanted to say to him but nothing would come. The time didn't feel right. Her eyes fell upon the part of his hip slightly exposed by the covers that had slipped from his right side, his t-shirt had ridden up a little, his jeans slipped down. The tattoo of the spade and heart seemed slightly risen in the light. She moved her hand and gently brushed her fingers against the two tiny black bumps.
"Remy..." she began softly, "what do they mean? The tattoos..."
"They're jus' tattoos," he commented.
"They must mean somethin'..." she spoke up. She remembered once making up to Jean-Luc that the tattoo was supposed to be symbollic of Remy and Her, the spade and the heart. In truth, he'd never admitted to her what it meant, he'd only claimed it didn't matter, that no one knew. "We've been together for months now...you've never told me why you got this..."
There was a deep silence, Remy stared at the ceiling, his expression clouded with frustration for a moment.
Rogue, realising he wasn't in the mood, dropped the subject and stared back to the tattoo, gently following the small patterns with her gloved finger.
"Y' ever hear o' somethin' called cartomancy?" he asked after what seemed like an eternity of silence.
She leaned up, staring down at him. She shook her head no.
"Y' use playin' cards t' tell someone's fortune."
"Just normal playin' cards?"
"Yeah," he replied. "Tante Mattie...she give me a readin' once. Two card readin'. Guess she didn' shuffle 'em too well, 'cause what came up was King o' Spades...Queen o' Hearts."
"What does that mean?" she asked.
"She say that spades usually means negativity...challenges and unhappiness...and that t' get the king meant there was someone arrogant...deceptive...dangerous maybe..."
Jean-Luc, she realised.
"Hearts...hearts is love..." he frowned a little, "the Queen o' hearts...is a maternal figure...all f' her family, all about love and honour and sacrifice..."
"Vivienne..." Rogue whispered.
"Wasn' so much a fortune tellin' as it was a tellin' o' past things..." he put his hand upon hers, pressing it to the tattoo hard. "Grim reminder o' what happened that day. Y' wanted t' know what it means? It means I shoul' never f' get she died f' me. Isn' good enough t' carry it in my head...I have t' wear it on my skin. Doesn' matter what else I forget...what else I try t' block out..." he drew a deep breath, "that thing...I'm never gon' let myself f' get."
Rogue thought it all so tragic, the event hadn't just scarred him emotionally, but he'd branded himself with it. She stared down at him, incredibly saddened by the confession. It struck her that it had been the first time in a very long time he'd told her anything deeply personal. Finally he'd shared something; he'd told her a secret...one she was certain he'd never shared with anyone else. It struck her at that moment that she'd never loved him more than right then, her heart ached at the thought of the things he'd endured, at the loneliness he'd felt and never admitted to.
"What y' thinkin'?" he asked, staring up at her.
Rogue shifted and lay her arms across his chest, resting her cheek upon them, "that Ah've never loved you more than Ah do right now." she confessed honestly, she closed her eyes.
He stroked her back tenderly, "every day I fall a lil' more in love wit' y' than the day before..." he admitted. "Even when y' infuriatin'...and distant, and y' pullin' away from me more. I don' know what it is about y' that makes my heart want what it wants...it jus' does."
She sighed contentedly, feeling strangely soothed despite her woes. Listening to his soft tired breathing and the warmth of her body lulled her, she sank into his arms and felt herself drifting into a comfortable and dreamless sleep.
Remy opened his eyes wearily, he'd fallen asleep with the light on and couldn't remember doing so for some moments, until he turned over in the bed and realised Rogue was asleep next to him. For a moment, he thought he'd dreamed her coming into his room, dreamed her snuggling up to him. She'd rolled over in her sleep, lying on her side facing the wall, her body curled up. He leaned over to examine her, sensing that for her to be there, something was wrong. She never did this, never took these kinds of risks, not when there were bed checks, not when someone could catch them together.
He closed the gap between their bodies and kissed her shoulder, his lips sliding softly over the fine cotton of her pyjama shirt. His morning arousal pressed against her backside and he stifled a little unintentional moan into the fabric.
His wife stirred in his arms, tiredly stretching, "Remy?" she asked groggily.
"Mmmhmm," He murmured near her ear.
"Time is it?"
He leaned over her to grab where he'd left his iPhone plugged in and resting on the cabinet, "Lil' after six..." he grunted, trying to ignore how incredibly persistent the bulge in his jeans had gotten. He couldn't even remember going to bed last night, he realised he must have been quite exhausted thanks to that last sedative just before dinner...he hadn't even found energy to change into pyjamas.
"We have to be up at seven to be ready to leave for half past..." she yawned.
"No trainin' t' day?"
"Danger Room is out of commission for the moment," she said after a moment, there was an odd hesitation there, as if she'd had to remember.
"Yeah but y' coul' be doin' outdoor trainin' or martial arts wit' Logan or somethin'."
"Ah think Logan is out on a mission or somethin'...how else you think I'm still here?" she pointed out, she curled up a little more and closed her eyes.
Remy pushed his body into hers a little more, "It's nice wakin' up t' y'," he confessed.
"Yeah...Ah...gathered that," she leaned up and looked at him almost suspiciously.
"Can't help it..." he pointed out. He supposed it was encouraging, he hadn't had the morning problem for a while, not since they'd left Louisiana. "It's...y' know...a problem that uhm...needs a solution."
"Yeah..." she rolled onto her back, "a cold shower."
"It's already so col' in here..." he climbed over her, nudging her legs apart with his knee, "y' wouldn' wan' me t' suffer, woul' y'...? Make me go int' a col' shower t' come int' a col' bedroom...that's jus' cruel..."
"If you're so cold..." she ran a finger gently across his chest, "You won't want to, uhm...remove any clothes..."
"Oh, see, what I had in mind, I wasn' the one naked..." he grinned.
She paused, her expression conflicted for a moment. "Actually..." she pushed him over and pinned him down, "Ah'm not in the mood...not like that, anyway..."
"No?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her, he gently ran his hands up her arms.
She shook her head, "But...Ah'm not completely unsympathetic...or unreasonable..." she unbuttoned his jeans, he gasped a little at the release as she nudged his boxers down his hips a little, her eyes were on him momentarily, he always saw that vague look on her face. She still wasn't quite adjusted to seeing him like this, and it almost amused him.
Remy reached into his bedside drawer and grabbed the playing card box furthest to the back, he felt Rogue's eyes watching as he opened it and pulled out one of the flavoured condoms he'd bought a while back.
"In a playin' card box?" she laughed strangely, watching as he placed the card box back where it belonged. "You hide your johnnies in a playin' card box?"
"If I jus' had 'em in the drawer out f' all t' see be kind o' obvious, non?" he tore the packet open with his teeth, "I thought y' wanted me t' be discrete."
"Ah do..." she tucked her hair behind her ears, "Ah just...never thought of doin' something sneaky like that..." she took the condom from him and began to sheath him.
"Clearly y' never had t' hide anythin' embarrassin' before..." he leaned back against the pillows, drawing his breath at even the slightest touch.
"Not really," she replied as she rolled the rubber down, her expression one of concentration; this too was a task she wasn't altogether quite proficient with and he saw her slight anxiety at messing up even this simple task.
He breathed in through his nose, "Y' don' have anythin'...special? Nothin'...in a bedside drawer?" he bit into his lip as she stroked him.
"Anythin' special?" she queried.
Remy was sure she was being more coy than innocent. Was this a game she was playing? "Somethin' y' use in the middle o' the night, when the lights are out...somethin' wit' maybe batteries."
Her nose wrinkled, "what kind of girl do you take me for?"
"Right now, I take y' for a pretty dirty one..." he sucked in a sharp breath as she began using her mouth. It felt surreal being like this in his room, felt surreal knowing they could be caught, knowing someone might hear his attempts to keep from moaning too loudly, it only heightened the sense of danger to it.
She had gained a little more confidence with oral sex, not that there had been anything particularly bad about the first time other than it had led to an argument due to his mistrust about her impressive skill. It was a joy to watch her, to feel a strangely romantic and intimate connection despite this wasn't perhaps the most intimate and loving of acts to engage in.
For moments, everything was perfect, until she tugged his jeans and his boxers further down his hips. It was something he hadn't expected her to do was to explore further. Her touch was a little unsure as she cupped him, rolling her fingers against him, it hadn't occurred to him that she was going to stop and look.
At first, he caught the disgusted expression on her face, there was nothing particularly attractive about testicles, and Rogue wasn't particularly used to being close up to him like that, he hadn't expected she'd be delighted.
It wasn't just the slightly disgusted face she made, it was the sudden expression of absolute bewilderment. He'd forgotten about his scar...the scar she'd never really seen.
His heart skipped anxious beats and his stomach flipped, he didn't want her looking at it, didn't want her asking. Quickly, he tried to get a grasp on the situation. "Don' stop," he gasped, forcing himself to sound far more caught in the moment than he actually was.
It didn't take much longer for the job to be done, and when she'd finished she let him get out of the bed to go clean the mess up with the box of tissues that was on the dresser at the other side of his room. As he was cleaning himself with his back turned to her, he glanced in the mirror, he saw her sitting up in the bed looking at him strangely.
Was she disgusted by that scar? Disturbed? He tried to force it out of his mind; he could see the thought building in her face that she was about to ask something, and he thought the better of giving her a chance to do so.
"We shoul' probably part and get ready f' school soon..." Remy tossed the tissues into the trashcan along with the used condom he'd wrapped in a ball of them just to make it even less obvious should someone empty his trash and happen to spot it. "'Fore someone catches y' in here."
"You're probably right," she picked up his iPhone to check the time.
"By the way..." he opened his dresser and reached under his socks to where he'd hidden her rings, "here..." he brought them over to her, "I kept them safe."
She took them from him and sat there quietly, taking off her glove to put them on.
Remy yanked his t-shirt and sweatshirt off so he could change into his robe before going to shower; as he did Rogue let out a loud gasp.
"What?" he asked, wondering if perhaps one of her rings had suddenly stopped fitting or if the stone had fallen out of the engagement ring. She was staring at him in shock. "What's wrong..."
She stood up suddenly, yanking her glove on hastily, her eyes full of panic, "what happened to you?"
"Huh?"
Her gloved fingers touched his shoulders, he hadn't noticed at all, he hadn't taken the time in days to really look at a mirror. He turned slowly to look at himself in the mirror above the dresser and he saw what she was talking about, he was covered in bruises, mostly around the shoulders.
I guess this is from when Logan had t' grab me t' try and calm me down after Hank figured out I stole the cough syrup, he realised with some surprise. He couldn't really feel much pain, not at least until pressing on it, he'd been a little achy since Logan's tight hold but he hadn't assumed it'd have marked.
Course it marked, guy has a metal skeleton, Remy thought, he prodded the bruises, making sure to look bewildered as she did. Wasn' his fault, he was doin' all he coul' t' stop me from tryin' t' attack Hank...he was jus' followin' protocol...and I was resistin' far too much f' him t' be gentle. I couldn' help it...I thought he was gon'-
"What happened, sugar?" she asked, breaking his train of thought. He looked at her reflection, her expression was full of hurt and concern, she stood near him and examined the bruises, gently brushing her gloved fingers lightly against them as if she thought it would help better determine what had happened.
"I don' know," he lied, "Maybe from trainin'...Logan was tryin' t' demonstrate t' the others how t' restrain someone wit' out needin' t' be violent..." he rubbed the bruises a little, half wondering if it was just staining from his brown t-shirt. "I guess maybe I struggled a lil' too much and it bruised..."
Rogue frowned a little, he saw that look of extreme anger in her eyes at the thought of it. "How could he be that careless?"
"He wasn'...he said struggle hard an' I did...otherwise he couldn' demonstrate the proper way..." he caught the hurt look in her eyes,"Look, it ain' nothin'..." Remy tried to soothe her, he turned to her and gently took her by the arms, "It's jus' a few superficial bruises, I honestly don' even feel 'em," he admitted truthfully.
"But-" Rogue tried.
"Marie," he said, trying to be stern, "I'm fine. Jus' leave it okay. Y' go bitchin' about it t' him, all I'm gon' get is a load o' abuse about how I need my wife t' fight my battles f' me. Y' wan' make me look like a pussy?"
"No..." she swallowed hard.
"I need t' come off strong and capable, not weak."
"But-"
"Y' know he'd just say I'll end up wit' more in the field," Remy pointed out, "Now...Y' better go get a shower 'fore y' end up waitin' in line f' the bathroom. Y' gon' beat them t' it if y' move now. I'm gon' do the same. I'll see y' at breakfast."
Rogue nodded, "Okay," she sighed, she paused, kissed the tips of her gloved fingers and pressed them to his lips before she turned and left, cautiously checking the hall before she did so.
Rogue was worried about the bruises on Remy's shoulders. She didn't understand how Logan – who was normally so careful during training – could be so utterly careless and thoughtless and leave bruises on a student. It didn't make any sense.
Breakfast almost halfway through before Logan and Ororo came waltzing in, still in uniform; they'd been out all night on a mission, their faces were exhausted, especially Ororo's. Rogue had to keep herself from throwing a look of disgust at Logan for the marks he'd left on her husband. It was completely unacceptable and she knew it was probably just as well the others were in the room as it was all that was keeping her from yelling at him about the marks he'd left on Remy. She tried to consider Remy's plea about not making him look weak to Logan.
"Where've you two been?" Scott asked, "Burning the midnight oil?"
"Somethin' came up," Logan answered, he went to pour himself a cup of coffee, "we took care of it."
"Why weren't we asked to be there?" Jean sat sipping her coffee, chair turned sideways, one leg crossed over the other, arm resting on the back.
Logan shrugged, "it was something we could take care of alone, it didn't seem necessary to wake you. Besides, you all had school, we didn't want to interrupt your sleep and have you start the day tired."
Rogue gazed down into her own coffee, wondering if the Professor had explained to Logan and Ororo about her pregnancy. Or were more excuses being made?
"Still, what if two hadn't been enough?" Scott pointed out.
"Some of us might have liked to tag along for field experience," Bobby pointed out. Field experience was something he was always begging for.
"Maybe when you grow some hairs on your chest," Logan eyed him critically for a moment. "And two was fine."
"What if it hadn't been though," Scott pressed.
"This is Logan you're talking about," Tabitha spoke up, her expression was slightly dark, "one is usually enough."
Wow she looks pissed today, Rogue thought. Remy's ignoring her is really getting to her. Every time they're both in the same room all she does is stare...and he doesn't bat an eyelid. Why can't she just get the damn message?
Logan picked up the morning paper and began flicking through pages as if he expected to see something in it about their mission; Rogue wondered if Logan could tell she'd been in Remy's room during the night.
Can he smell what Ah did for Remy that mornin' even if we both showered? She wondered, partly feeling foolish, and partly feeling that she wasn't worried enough about it.
"You all should be leaving soon for school," Ororo said, checking her watch after giving her coffee a quick sip, "or you'll be late."
"Logan, is it okay if Ah borrow your Jeep?" Rogue asked.
"What's wrong with the van?" Logan asked, "tires let down again?"
"No," she tried to keep herself from blushing, from showing any anxiety, "Ah'm supposed to go to the doctors for my annual check up straight after school...Ah won't have time to sit around and wait for everyone to get to the van, and even if Ah did, Ah can't expect them to sit in the van until Ah'm done in the doctors. What if it takes forever? What if Ah need to sit in the waitin' room for half an hour? You know how it is at that place."
"Oh," Logan said, "Sure, take the Jeep, keys are in the pocket of my jacket, should be hangin' in the hall."
"Thanks," Rogue stood up, "Ah'll head off now."
Remy stood up after drinking half of his coffee in one long gulp, "hol' up, I'll catch a ride wit' y'."
"Y'all okay to drive the others?" Rogue asked, tossing the van keys towards Kurt.
Kurt caught the keys swiftly, "Absolutely."
Rogue headed to the hall to grab the keys to the Jeep, Remy following at her heels.
"How come y' never said y' had a doctors appointment?"
"Ah forgot," she lied, forcing a shrug as she began searching the pockets of Logan's jacket. He had a pen knife, a half-smoked cigar, a zippo lighter and a packet of matches. She found the keys in the inside pocket and headed towards the garage, Remy still following.
"Everythin' okay?"
"Yeah, it's just a check up," she shrugged.
"What's that usually entail?" he asked casually.
Rogue entered the garage and climbed into the drivers seat, Remy got in at her side, immediately reaching for his seatbelt. She had noticed how so vigilant he was about wearing seatbelts since his accident.
"Oh, you know, height, weight, questions about my lifestyle, blood check..." she shrugged.
"I see," he said. "Y' height ever change?" he asked pointedly, tossing his school bag with hers into the back of the Jeep.
"Ah grew a whole inch last year and then stopped growin' completely," she admitted, starting the ignition and letting it warm a minute or two, "mostly they like to check that Ah'm the right weight for my height."
"Y' look fine t' me," he said, "Y' even look like y' put on a pound or two," he added after eyeing her.
It's only a month or two in, Ah don't think Ah'm quite showin' yet, she thought, feeling hopeful that it was just a little bloating he'd picked up on. To try and make him change the subject, she threw him a look, "are you callin' me fat, sir?"
"No...of course not," Remy cleared his throat, "I jus'..." he stared away for a moment, his expression was suddenly worried.
"You just what?" she asked, hitting the button on the keyring to make the garage door slide open. The others started entering the garage and piling into the van.
"I...just remembered I forgot somethin' in my room..." he reached to unclasp his seatbelt.
"We don't have time, Remy. We're already blocking the van and if we don't get goin' we're gonna be late."
"But-"
"It's not your school stuff, Ah saw you put it all in last night. You have everythin' you need."
"Forgot my wallet..."
"Ah have money," she said, she stopped him from unclipping his seatbelt, "come on, lets get goin'."
Fuck, fuck, fuck, Remy thought in distress, staring at the head of the class where Madame Fontaine was reading out passages in French and asking students at random to translate into English. Jean-Luc was standing right behind her, and he looked meaner than usual; in fact, he looked positively furious.
There was a sound in the classroom that usually wasn't there. A soft buzzing sound; no one else seemed to notice it as far as he could tell, but then Madame Fontaine didn't allow talking out of term.
Why couldn't Rogue have let him run quickly to find Hank or the Professor so he could get a mild sedative, something to help him through the day, something to keep Jean-Luc from rearing his ugly decaying head.
Now he was there, and he was stuck with it.
He'd been holding his bladder all through the day, he didn't even want to go to the bathroom, he remembered the last time all too well. Ever since that day he'd been wary of using any bathroom alone. Whenever in public places he usually made sure someone went in first and was in there before he went into quickly relieve himself. At home, it was trickier...he was used to peeing fast, trying to keep an eye all around him, trying to be prepared should Jean-Luc attempt to attack.
For the past few days since being lightly sedated he hadn't felt that worry, because Jean-Luc hadn't been there. He'd almost begun to forget the anxiety of it all.
But now, Jean-Luc was hanging around consistently as of this morning – the ghost hadn't left him even for a second. He was in every classroom, every hallway. Remy would turn his back on Jean-Luc still standing in the classroom only to see him directly in front of him in the hall.
He was everywhere. Unavoidable. Remy had no intentions of using the restroom while Jean-Luc was lurking around him. He sensed the bastard's strength, he wasn't going to play with that today; he could almost feel it in his bones that something was going to happen. Best not to tempt fate.
Something brushed his cheek, he rubbed his face irritably, he saw a fly buzz in front of his face. Flies weren't altogether uncommon in Bayville, even in October, but he'd never seen one in the school before. There were two of them, circling each other in graceful circles before diving at his face. He shooed the away, tried to concentrate on what Madame Fontaine was saying.
"LeBeau!" she snapped.
"Uhm..." he looked up at her, he'd only half heard it. "The butcher is two kilometres away," he decided.
It was strange how even though he had the right answer she still seemed dissatisfied. She began talking again, picking on Kitty this time; he briefly spied Kitty's look of horror, the girl no more understood the phrase than most of the others in class did.
The there were five flies now, buzzing around his head, he waved them off irritably, he threw a glance over to Jean-Luc, it seemed as they were coming from him. Now that he stared closer, he could see the flies leaving his body.
Fuck! They're hatchin' on him! Fuck...
He winced, trying not to flinch as more came to him, circling him, landing on his bare hands on the desk. He tried to ignore it, glanced quickly over to his wife who to his right, a desk between them. He leaned forward a little just to get a better view of her; she wasn't paying much attention. She seemed preoccupied as she sat absently tapping the eraser at the top of her pencil on her workbook. She seemed a million miles away. She did something subtle that he thought was rather odd, she pressed a hand against her stomach, her brows furrowing a little.
Trying to still ignore the flies that only he could see – there must have been twenty of them circling around him now – he watched her, found himself strangely thinking of that morning, how she hadn't wanted to have sex.
He thought that rather odd considering how good the last time had been; he'd never had a girl tell him she wasn't in the mood.
"Maybe she's had her fill o' sex from the Wolverine," Jean-Luc sneered.
Remy tried to block out the cold grating voice, he watched as his wife gently stroked her stomach. She's probably on the rag...that's it...she's got a period. She's jus' too private t' say so.
Rogue suddenly spoke up, her expression quite ill, "Madame Fontaine?"
"Oui?"
Rogue had to think "May Ah-"
"En Francais!" the teacher snapped, interrupting her.
"Ah, uhm...uhm..." Rogue put a hand to her head, trying to think, she looked a little flushed.
"Puis-je aller aux toilettes," Remy leaned nearer and whispered over the desk between them.
"Puis-je..." she repeated, looking confused and unsure.
"Aller aux toilettes," he hissed, trying to be sure she'd hear, not sure if the teacher was about to reprimand them both.
"Puis-je aller aux toilettes," Rogue said, trying to sound confident, she was breathing strangely.
Guess she's jus' had it come on sudden, Remy decided, he swatted away a fly.
"Oui," said Madame Fontaine.
Rogue practically ran out of the room; Remy half expected to see a trail of blood behind her, the whole situation had taken so long to be resolved. The flies were jumping at his face, he was certain he felt one of them bite him. Frustratedly, Remy smacked the fly from his cheek, grimacing.
"Monsieur LeBeau," Madame Fontaine frowned, "se il vous plait vous asseoir encore," she warned him.
Remy tried to sit still as she requested, but it was impossible like this. Flies diving at his head, the room filled with the heavy buzzing. The smell of Jean-Luc was making him feel physically sick.
"Y' know why y' wife run out of here?" Jean-Luc hissed near his ear, Remy hadn't even noticed him moving. "She can't stand t' be aroun' y'...y' make her sick."
A fly buzzed right into his ear, and he twitched and shifted in his chair.
"Enough!" warned Madame Fontaine, this time in English. "You've distracted the students enough. Get to the back of the class!"
Remy grunted and lifted his book, throwing her a dirty look at her but keeping his mean thoughts about her to himself, he began the casual stroll to the desk at the back that was always reserved for trouble makers and class disruptors.
"What's the matter, LeBeau? Tourettes, much?" jeered one of the popular boys from the class.
As he passed, he felt Kitty touch his arm, "You okay?" she asked in a whisper.
Holding his tongue, Remy kept walking, he got to the desk himself into the chair, placed down his book, folded his arms and stared ahead of the class.
"Y' so weak, aren' y'?" Jean-Luc grunted. "Y' don' even have the balls t' tell her t' go fuck herself and storm outta here..."
If I say it, I get kicked out of the class...I end up in the quiet hall, Remy thought at the ghost. Y' think I'm stupid? That's exactly what y' want, ain' it? Y' ain' gon' try t' attack me in a room full o' people. Y' want me alone...
"Y' know me so well, son," Jean-Luc chuckled. "Y' know what they always say about great minds thinkin' alike..."
Remy tried to sit completely still as the flies buzzed around him, he glanced down to his feet, seeing the trails of maggots making their way towards his shoes, he winced.
This is all in y' head. It's him puttin' it there. They aren't there, there's nothin' there.
"Y' wife sure is takin' a long time in that restroom, ain' she?" Jean-Luc pointed out; Remy realised he wasn't wrong. How long had it been? Almost eight minutes? The rest room wasn't that far from French class. It shouldn't have taken this long. "Probably met some other guy...blowin' him in a janitors closet."
Shut up, Remy thought towards him angrily.
"Now that y' taught her how she can have sex, y' given her a world o' opportunity t' fuck who she want t' fuck. She got no need o' you anymore."
Remy turned his eyes towards the door as Rogue re-entered. She'd been gone at least ten minutes; she went to the head of the class to whisper something to Madame Fontaine; Remy didn't catch what it was and she had her back turned on him so he couldn't even read her lips. He supposed she was trying to explain why she'd taken so long; whatever the reasoning was, Madame Fontaine gave a satisfied nod and sent her back to her desk.
Rogue gazed at the back of the class towards him, confused about why he'd been moved, he gave a shrug, still trying to ignore the buzzing around his head and the thought that maggots might be climbing into his shoes. Just as the thought of it all was getting unbearable, the bell rang. Finally, school was over for the day.
Remy couldn't help himself from being the first to leave the class. He hovered in the hall, avoiding getting run over by the rush of students eager to escape, and waited for Rogue; Rogue brought Kitty and Kurt in tow.
"God, she is like, so getting worse," Kitty complained about the teacher once they were out of the class.
Remy walked at Rogue's side, he said nothing but he was inclined to agree.
"Why'd she move you to the back?" Rogue asked, turning to look at Remy curiously.
"'Cause she's a bitch," Remy muttered irritably, glad at least the flies hadn't followed him into the hall.
"He was twitching or something," Kitty reported. "What was that, anyway?"
"I had a fly buzzin' at my ear," he explained. That and about thirty others by the end. "Was buggin' me."
"I didn't see a fly," Kurt commented.
"Yeah, well, it was a tiny one, but I coul' feel it...every time it landed on me it itched, kinda made my skin crawl. Got int' my ear, I coul'n't keep still after that."
"Ewww," Kitty complained.
Rogue shoved her book into her bag, "I gotta get goin' to the doctors," she realised, "Ah'll see you guys back at the mansion."
"Yeah, sure thing," Kitty said, she and Kurt headed off in the direction of their lockers. Rogue seemed to need nothing from hers today.
Remy hovered Rogue's side, "maybe I shoul' go wit' y'."
"No...don't be silly," she put on a smile, something about it struck him as strangely false about it though. "It's such a depressin' place, and they always make me wait. Ah swear, ten minutes in that place, you'll be lookin' for a noose to hang yourself with."
"Yeah, but maybe y' like me there t' keep y' company," he offered.
"Ah'll be fine. Besides, you could end up sittin' there alone for quite a while in the waitin' room."
"I coul' go in wit' y'...I mean, we're married, it shoul'n't be a big deal shoul' it?"
There was something hesitant about her response, she was reluctant to allow him to be there. Why? What did she have to hide?
"My Doctor won't be down with that," Rogue decided, "anyway, Ah'm a big girl, Ah can do the doc's on my own."
"If y' sure..." Remy examined her closely, why didn't she want him there? Was this about her period? Why did she have to be so private about such things? Didn't that include him somehow?
I suppose if I'm allowed t' go t' the shrink wit' out her bein' there wit' me, she shoul' be okay t' have a docs appointment wit'out me bein' there, he tried to assure himself.
"I'm still gon' come wit' y', I can hang around in town, look at the stores while y' in there...got a few things I wan' get. Y' can grab me on the way back t' the mansion."
"Okay," she nodded. "That's fine."
Rogue couldn't stop staring at that stupid bowel screening poster in her doctor's office. It was easier than looking at her, easier than staring at her while hearing what the woman had to say.
"You're about seven to eight weeks along."
Rogue dropped her eyes to Dr. Watson, the name of the woman always reminded her of Sherlock Holmes, not a woman only ten years older than she was who wore glasses too big for her face and had eyes the colour of caramel. "Seven to eight? Are you sure?"
Dr. Watson gave a firm nod, "Yes, this is what the nurse who performed your ultrasound has written here," she gestured to the piece of paper that the woman had passed through ten minutes ago before Rogue had been called into the office a second time. "Now we should discuss what kind of care you should be taking of yourself from now on, the kind of foods you should be keeping away from-"
Rogue interrupted her, "seven to eight weeks...you're really sure?"
"Yes," Dr. Watson replied again, looking at her.
Eight weeks...that's...that's around the first time me and Remy got together...god, was it the first time? How fuckin' stupid is that? The first time Ah do it with anyone and the guy knocks me up? God, we were so careful...he was so careful. How the heck did this happen?
"Now, as I was saying, we should discuss how you should go about making sure that you do everything in your power to ensure that there are no effects on your baby..."
"Effects?" she almost laughed in disbelief, "My powers...even if Ah took care of myself...of this...this thing inside of me...there's no guarantee..."
"I'm sure with a caesarian section and proper care, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to safely deliver your child."
Rogue leaned over, she felt sick again, "Ah don't think Ah can do this."
"You'd like to terminate this pregnancy?"
Rogue lifted her eyes to the woman, stomach churning. Terminate. It was such an ugly word, it reminded her of those Terminator movies...she imagined a human-like cyborg hell bent on destroying her baby. She touched her stomach lightly, she hadn't grown particularly attached to the foetus and yet the thought of ridding herself of it still hurt nonetheless. She'd been aware of being pregnant for five days now, that was almost a week, it was more a part of her now than it had been five days ago. How much might it have grown?
"Well," said the Doctor, seeming to read Rogue's silence as an answer, "I can provide you with the recommendation for a clinic if you're sure about that option."
Rogue lowered her eyes again, how would she explain the need to go to a clinic? How would she tell Remy? "Isn't there another way?"
"If you're anxious about the idea of a clinic," Dr. Watson leaned forward upon her desk, "there is a medication I can prescribe although you are cutting the time constraint on it's success extremely closely."
"Does it work?"
"It has a high success rate."
She thought of the supposed success rate of condoms, she'd thought those had a high success rate too, now she was pregnant. "What kind of success rate?"
"Around ninety-seven percent effective," Dr. Watson explained, "it comes in a pill form...after taking the pill, you'll take a small course of antibiotics. And then there's a second course of pills you must take within a two day window of the first."
"What happens?" she asked nervously.
"You'll begin to experience period like symptoms. Cramping...bleeding. The bleeding you should expect will be heavy, it's nothing to panic about. You'll see some clotting. It can take anywhere from four hours after the second pill to four or five days."
"What then?"
"Then you might find some spotting, but the pregnancy should have safely been aborted."
Rogue put her hand to her mouth, she felt quite sick.
The doctor moved hastily, grabbing her plastic-bag lined trash can from beside her desk and passing it over to Rogue swiftly.
Rogue lost what little of her lunch she'd managed to eat; it wasn't a large amount of vomit, but it still smelled foul nonetheless. She accepted a handful of tissues from the doctor and wiped her mouth, "sorry..." she managed weakly.
"Morning sickness is an unfortunate symptom of pregnancy, I'm afraid."
"Ah thought the point was that it was supposed to be in the morning..."
"On the contrary," Dr. Watson straightened in her seat, "my sister had morning sickness for seven of her nine months of pregnancy, always in the afternoon and then in the evening. It's different for every woman."
Rogue rubbed the back of her neck, "this pill...it'll be just like a period, right? A'm not...Ah mean," she swallowed. "It won't..." she swallowed back hard, the taste of vomit still foul in her mouth.
"It won't be like giving birth..." Dr. Watson replied, "You..." she hesitated, "You may see the embryo on a pad, or it may pass while you are using the rest room. It can really depend on the situation and timing."
Her eyes welled up. She had a brief vision of an episode of Masters of Horror she'd seen at the beginning of the summer, there had been graphic scenes of aborted foetuses and it had taken weeks for her to get that out of her head.
"I know this is difficult," the Doctor admitted, "but there is a time sensitivity issue with this. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be. Once you get to the second trimester, nothing can be legally done."
"So...what you're sayin' is Ah have a few more weeks to decide if this is what Ah want to do..."
Dr. Watson gave a gentle nod, "with the medical abortion, you won't have the grace of weeks, the longer you wait, the less likely it will work. I'm sorry, I know this isn't an easy decision to make."
Rogue drew a deep breath, "the thing is, Ah don't think my life...Ah mean...it's not the kind of ideal life to bring a child into...the people Ah'm around, they're not dangerous but...things happen...and with my powers..."
"Yes, I imagine your powers would make it very hard to bring up a child..." the Doctor agreed with a sympathetic nod.
Rogue passed the now puke-filled trash can to the doctor, "Ah just...don't think there's too many options Ah have."
"There's always options," Dr. Watson assured, "circumstances can be altered, worked around."
Rogue wasn't sure they could be, and even if they could, it was unfair on several parties. It was unfair on Remy.
Dr. Watson put the trash can aside, she didn't seem to even care about the contents. Rogue supposed it wasn't the first time someone had puked in that can. "Perhaps this is a decision you should make with your partner."
Rogue's eyes welled up more, a tear escaped and she hastily swept it aside, "Ah'm not sure he's...ready for that kind of commitment. Ah don't think it's fair to expect it of him...he's had a real hard life, and he's my age...it's just...it's not fair to expect him to be a dad at nineteen..."
"It seems as if you've already made up your mind," the Doctor reached for her prescription pad, "I'll write the prescription for the Mifepristone...there's also the second pill, the Misoprostol, and there's the small course of antibiotics you should take between. There's no rule that says you have to get this prescription filled...but should you make this decision..." she wrote down the prescriptions, tore the page off and handed it over, "you'll have all you need."
Rogue nodded.
"If you go through with this, you should make an appointment with me a week afterwards to follow up, to check on the success. If you experience any problems, you can call my office during weekdays from eight until six. There's a helpline you can also access..." she went into a drawer and pulled out a pamphlet, "this should give you all the advice and answers you might have to any questions regarding the termination should you proceed."
Rogue accepted the pamphlet, sighing. "Okay."
"I'm sorry, I know this wasn't the news you wanted."
"Don't be sorry," Rogue stood slowly, "this is all my fault...Ah should have been more careful...apparently condoms aren't as safe as Ah figured."
"If you decide at a later date – should you proceed with the termination – that you would like to go on birth control, you should make an appointment and we can discuss your options then."
"Yeah," Rogue sighed, she glanced down at the prescription, "Ah'll...probably do that."
"Good luck with whatever choice you decide to make."
Rogue felt her heart sink. Whenever someone had to wish good luck, it meant the likelihood of luck had already ran out long ago.
Remy leaned against Logan's Jeep casually, a cigarette dangling from his fingers. Rogue had taken forever in the doctor's office, far longer than he'd anticipated. He'd thought this was supposed to be a routine physical. She'd been almost an hour and a half. It was starting to get dark, and the weather was turning bitter.
He'd at least found time to do a few things in town, he'd been shopping around, found a few things he'd needed and to boot, had found a Tuxedo just his size in a thrift store; it was slightly stained but it smelled clean and he had decided it didn't matter. He was going to splatter the thing with fake blood to match Rogue's costume as Carrie. He wondered if she'd even found something to wear, yet.
"Y' know what happened t' Carrie's date in that movie, right?" asked Jean-Luc, he was sitting in the back seat of Logan's Jeep, looking rather comfortable despite his disgusting appearance and stench. Remy had already puked up a little in a drain thanks to the smell.
"I don' care," Remy spat quietly under his breath; a passing woman walking her dog threw him a strange look hearing him seemingly talk to himself and walked a little faster.
"He were the firs' t' die."
Remy frowned. He wasn't sure that was true. He took a long drag from the cigarette and tried to calm his nerves.
"Remy..."
Remy turned towards the door of the doctor's office, Rogue was leaving, she was stuffing something into the pocket of her bright red hooded sweatshirt.
"Ah told you Ah'd pick you up from the store..."
"I know..." He took one last drag from the cigarette and flicked it down a drain. He felt almost embarrassed that he hadn't finished it before she'd caught him...not that she wouldn't have smelt it he supposed. "But I been everywhere...got all I need."
"You're smokin' again..." she looked at him worriedly.
"Yeah...sorry. It's a habit o' boredom," he lied, he met her at the door, "everythin' okay?"
"Yeah, it's...it's fine," she said, sounding slightly anxious.
"Was that a prescription?" he asked.
"Huh?"
"That y' just stuff int' y' pocket..."
"Yeah...just for a stupid thing..."
He decided to be bold, "y' period?"
She looked at him, cheeks flushing a little, "no...not my period."
"If it is, y' can jus' say. I'm a big boy...I can deal wit' it."
"It's not my period," she reassured. Rogue pulled the keys from the pocket of her skinny jeans, "can...you drive?"
"Me?" he asked.
"You had more sleep than Ah did yesterday..." she said, "Ah'm really startin' to feel tired..."
"Okay..." he nodded.
"Just take it slow, okay?" she asked of him. Any time he was behind the wheel she always made sure he was below the speed limit.
"Y' need t' pick up that prescription first?"
"It's not important right now," she decided, "c' mon, lets go home."
Remy climbed into the driver's seat.
"She's lyin' t' y', y' know," Jean-Luc hissed from the back. "Keepin' somethin' from y'."
"So...what did they say?" Remy asked as he waited for Rogue to get in before slipping the key into the ignition.
"Huh?" she asked distractedly as she was pulling on her seatbelt.
"The doc..."
"Oh..." she thought for a moment, "Just...you know...Ah'm a little..."
"A little what?"
"Anaemic...She thinks that's why Ah'm tired lately."
"How y' fix that? Iron?"
"Yeah."
"That what the prescription is for?" he pulled the Jeep away from the parking space and onto the main road.
"Yeah."
"Maybe we shoul' pick it up now, then?"
"No, it's fine..."
"No," he decided, "if y' feel like shit 'cause somethin' is wrong, then we shoul' take care o' that. I'm not gon' let y' jus' let it get worse. I'm meant t' take care o' y'..." he turned the car towards the direction of the nearest drug store.
Rogue gave a frustrated sigh, "Ah'm fine, really..."
"No, you're not..." he reached over and touched her arm gently, eyes on the road, "y' been off f' weeks. If this gon' make y' feel a little better."
"Fine," looked away from him.
"I'll go in wit' y', I can grab some things," Remy pulled the Jeep right outside of the drug store.
"No..." Rogue said to him, "wait out here..."
"But-"
"You can't park on this street, Remy..." she reminded, "you have to sit and keep an eye out, make sure you don't get a ticket."
"But-"
"Remy, Logan will flip if you get a ticket on his Jeep," she warned, she unhooked her belt and climbed out.
"Fine. Y' get me a box o' gloves?" he asked. "Forgot t' get them when I was out earlier."
Rogue raised an eyebrow at him, "and what are they for?"
"Thought maybe I give y' a lil' massage t' night since y' lookin' tense."
"Oh..."
"I got some nice sensual oil when I was out...scented...thought y' might like it."
"Really?"
"Y' don' have t' get a massage if y' don' wan'...but if y' like we can do that...y' look so tired lately, thought it'd be nice t' pamper y'."
She paused, "Maybe...we'll see how things go tonight, if Ah can get away..."
"She's lyin'. She don' want y' touchin' her."
"Just gloves? Do they need to be specific?"
"Vinyl...apparently mos' massage oil can break down latex...we shoul' be careful."
"Okay," she nodded, "See you in a few."
Remy leaned back in the driver's seat and waited as his wife disappeared into the drug store. He sighed quietly to himself, reached for the packet of cigarettes in his pocket and took one out.
"She don' want y' in there so y' don' see what she's gon' buy," Jean-Luc chuckled.
"Shut up," Remy muttered under his breath, he lit the cigarette with his zippo.
"Y' think maybe she in there buyin' somethin' t' cure some disease she caught from the Wolverine?" Jean-Luc asked, he sounded almost curious.
Remy frowned and spun around to face him, "Logan is clean. He don' get diseases like mos' do. And even if he did...I know Rogue wouldn' do that t' me."
"Far as y' know," Jean-Luc pointed out. "She's lyin' t' y', though. Y' know that, don' y'?"
"She ain' lyin'," he said under his breath, "she's jus' uneasy 'bout talkin' 'bout her bein' a lil' ill. She don' like seemin' weak..."
"Y' think so?"
"I know so."
"She's lyin' t' y', and y' a fuckin' fool. Weak ass useless piece o' shit, y' need t' smack it out o' her, not accept what she tell y'."
"I ain' a wife beater like you," Remy snapped.
"Y' got it in y', it's in y' blood. That violent temper is part o' y' and it's only a matter o' time 'fore y' unleash it on her..."
"It ain' in my blood 'cause we don' share blood. I'm nothin' like y'," Remy looked away.
"Y' everythin' like me!" snapped Jean-Luc; Remy felt a sudden sharp pain in his cheek and he lifted his hand to touch his face, it was wet. He dropped his hand and looked at it, there was a smear of blood on his fingers.
"What the...?" he asked, he turned the rear view mirror towards him and gazed at his cheek, he had three scratches streaking across his right cheek, blood seeping from the thin lines.
He couldn't find a tissue in the Jeep so he wiped his cheek on his sleeve. It took a few moments for the blood to finally slow down. He turned slowly to see if the bastard was still there, but he'd gone.
Maybe I shoul' ask Rogue t' drive rest o' the way home...who's safer t' drive, the lunatic wit' the ghost attackin' him or the half-asleep goth?
Rogue appeared at the door of the drug store carrying her bag of items, "Sorry took so long, had to wait."
"It's fine," he said.
She climbed into the passengers seat, "What happened to your face?" she asked, she reached out and touched his scratches lightly with her gloved fingers.
He flinched a little, the scratches were still stinging, "stupid cat jumped ont' the Jeep...looked like it was gon' take a shit in the back so I picked it up t' get it rid o' it and it caught me..."
Rogue looked around, "where is it?"
"Ran off..." he lied.
"Hope it didn' have anythin' bad...you should clean that when we get home."
"Yeah," he ran the back of his sleeve across the scratches to mop up any leaking blood, "I will.
Rogue began raking through the bag, "Ah got somethin' for you..."
"From the Drug store? It ain' deodorant is it, 'cause I swear, I don' usually reek o' sweat as bad as I did this mornin', it's jus' I slept in those clothes all night is all..."
"No...not that," she handed him a box.
He turned the box around in his hands, it was a box of condoms, a Halloween motif decorating the box, there were three unique flavours, "Are y' makin' fun o' me?."
"What?" she asked with a strange laugh.
"Candy corn flavour...caramel apple...pumpkin pie?" he opened the box and took one out, examining it through the clear packet, "they're orange..."
"Yeah," she smirked, "so?"
"They look like...candy corn..." he realised, a little dismayed.
"Yeah."
"This ain' gon' look all that attractive."
"Oh, like it's glamorous without," Rogue rolled her eyes.
"Y' gon' make me look like I got a fuckin' traffic cone stuck out o' my pants."
"Ah have to amuse myself somehow."
"Y' might be a lil' sick in the head..." he commented with a smirk.
"Well..." she searched through her bag as if she were making sure she had everything she needed. "It's your birthday on Saturday...and Ah did promise you the bonus you asked for..." she reminded.
"I was only kiddin' bout that, y' know."
"Ah know," she shrugged, "but...you're my husband, and...Ah don't mind."
He stroked her knee gently, smiling a little. Least she's easin' up t' the idea o' sex...
"Yeah, thanks t' all the practise she's gettin' wit' other men," Jean-Luc's voice huffed near his ear, Remy glanced to his left but didn't see him. He shuddered inwardly.
"Ah also got the gloves you asked me for...and this..." she held up a small bottle discretely.
He took the bottle from her and turned it around in his hands, "Lube? Y' actually went t' a counter and bought lube and condoms?" he asked, he couldn't quite imagine that happening. She was always so shy about these types of things, she barely found it easy to talk about them, he found it impossible to see her asking for them.
"Self-service check out. Pick them right off the shelf and scan them on my own...pay with my debit card," she smirked.
"I see. And there was me thinkin' y' grew a pair."
Rogue paused, "Remy...while you mention it..."
He put the condom box into her bag and reached for the ignition, "we better get back, maybe we'll have a while t' get some homework done 'fore dinner."
"Remy..."
"What?" he asked, he sensed where this was going.
"About that scar..."
"What scar?"
"On your, uhm..." she paused, "your...area..."
"The one on my balls?" he asked, trying to seem as blasé as possible as he pulled the car from the pavement and turned towards the main road.
"It's a kind of...weird scar..."
"What y' mean weird?" he drew his breath.
"Sure y' know what she mean," Jean-Luc chuckled.
"It's..." Rogue hesitated, "...a weird shape."
"I wouldn' know, I don' really have much access t' get a close look, I ain' a contortionist. If I was, I probably wouldn' need t' be married."
She smacked him, unimpressed with that comment, "Seriously...it's weird."
"Weird in what way?"
"Ah don't know...it's sort of...Ah guess L shaped."
He sighed inwardly, keeping his eyes on the road.
"You said you fell on a scaffold...Ah expected it to maybe be a long scar...or...even maybe a little round...like you'd got impaled or somethin'..."
He had to work quickly to think of a lie, "one o' the brackets o' the scaffold caught me, I was climbin' up a scaffold in the dark and one section had nothin' t' latch my foot on, so I climbed up this long pole...and there was this bracket thing I could' see...my foot slipped 'cause it was slightly wet and it tore through my pants and caught me..."
Rogue winced, "how old were you?"
"Tol' y', I was fourteen."
"Did it hurt?"
He almost laughed in disbelief she could ask such a thing.
"Y' sure was cryin' a lot," Jean-Luc reminded.
Remy could remember all the blood, could remember the way Jean-Luc had suddenly panicked. He remembered the hospital visit for the stitches, the pain that had made him so sick he'd vomited over the nurse.
"It hurt," he said, "I don' cry a whole lot, and didn' even as a chil' but I remember cryin' like a maniac that day...coul' have irrigated a crop o' corn in the driest plains o' Africa wit' my tears that day..." he admitted truthfully.
Rogue touched his arm lightly and stroked.
He maintained a steady expression, "Doctor said that the cord t' the left nut got completely torn, was nothin' they coul' do t' repair it."
His wife paused, she seemed hesitant for a moment, "does that mean your...uh...fertility is halved?" she asked.
It was a touchy subject, he hadn't thought of that consultation in almost five years, "he said as long as I got one functionin' testicle...there shouldn' be any changes t' my fertility. Not that it really matters anyway."
"Oh," she replied.
Remy didn't see why it mattered; he supposed it was a general question. He wished he hadn't had to explain these things. It struck him that it'd have been easier to speak about had she asked him before his painful past about Jean-Luc had come out.
Not that he'd have told her about how that injury had really happened.
"What y' so afraid o' by tellin' her? Afraid y' gon' give her ideas?" Jean-Luc asked.
Remy drew a breath, "Anyway...it's healed...other than occasionally it feelin' a little tight when the weather is col' or when I come, it's not a problem any more."
Rogue did something he didn't expect her to right then, she leaned closer to him and pulled her hand between his parted legs, cupping him and sighing. It was a rather odd gesture; it wasn't remotely sexual, more...sympathetic and intimate. She loosened her seatbelt a little and leaned to the side to press her cheek against his shoulder, she sighed softly, hand gripping his groin.
He drew his breath and as he stopped at a red light he placed a kiss gently upon her hair, the silence strangely comfortable and familiar. Although remembering things he'd tried desperately to forget, just having her there like that soothed him in ways he hadn't imagined it was going to.
Maybe soon I'll be able t' tell her, he thought dully as he stared at the red light.
"Y' never gon' tell her 'cause y' know if y' do, she'll never look at y' the same way again," Jean-Luc sneered at the back of his head. "Y' never gon' tell her 'cause y' a coward."
Remy sighed softly, "I love y'," he kissed her hair lightly again.
She closed her eyes and sighed too, "Ah love you too."
He stared through the windscreen, thinking, "chere?"
"Hmm?"
"In the movie, y' know Carrie's date?"
"Yeah...Tommy Ross," she answered.
"Yeah," he nodded, "what...happened t' him in the movie? I f' get..."
"Oh," she took a moment to think, "He was hit in the head by the bucket that spilled the blood on Carrie...and Ah think he died instantly. If...Ah'm right, Ah think he was the first in the movie to die."
"Oh."
"Why?"
"Jus' wonderin."
End of Part Thirty-Five
One last update before the weekend update. Thanks to all who sent in their wonderful reviews. I'm surprised so many seem to like the pregnancy storyline.
I'm sure some people will contest the medical abortion part of the storyline, this was how a family member of mine went through it last year, so this is how I've written it. I know in some places the doctors supervise the taking of the first pill then have the patient come in for the second set of pills, etc. That wasn't how it happened for her, and this way seemed far more convenient for the story.
I'm sure there's also some contest about it being the "first" time Rogue was with Remy that the pregnancy occurred. She thinks it, but it isn't accurate (she doesn't remember until later that it couldn't have been the first time for obvious reasons, lol).
As for the candy corn condoms...there needed to be a little levity for such a rather angsty situation the two are going through.