Alan, his father, and their new Shih Tzu were seated together on the couch, watching the news reports of the astonishing events that had taken place. Behind them, Mrs. Powers was bracing up Tegan as she struggled to take steps with her weakened legs.
"I'm as glad as anyone that we're free of the Yordilians," Alan remarked. "But what if the Alliance decides to take over and try to straighten us out? They may be just as bad."
"This isn't the time to be worrying," said his mother. "We've got Tegan back, and a poor, crippled dog to love. We should be grateful."
"By the way," said Mr. Powers, "is it a good idea for the dog to be on the couch?"
You have no memory of asking that question, thought the Professor.
"That's the fourth time you've asked, dear," said Mrs. Powers.
As Tegan managed her third trembling step without falling down, she heard the calm voice of the Professor in her head: I think I can help you get your mental powers back.
The TARDIS phased into view on a nearby corner, and the doors opened to allow the Doctor, Sue Ellen, and Prunella a view of the familiar neighborhood. "It's been a pleasure traveling with you, girls," said the friendly Time Lord. "So much so, that I'm afraid traveling with girls may become a habit."
"Wait until I tell all my friends that I saved Earth," Sue Ellen boasted.
"Big deal," said Prunella. "I've saved Earth twice now—once from Pickles, and another time from Dolly. And I'm still waiting for my medals."
"Sue Ellen was very brave, and very clever," said the Doctor. "Stealing the vaccine instead of the disease itself was a stroke of genius. There was much less security to deal with that way."
"Will we ever see you again?" the cat girl asked earnestly.
"Only time will tell," replied the Doctor. Without another word he disappeared into his blue booth, which faded away with a chorus of squeaky noises.
----
Central London was a shambles, many of its historic buildings crushed beyond repair. Of the modern towers, none was harder hit than the mysterious, unmarked, windowless tower that housed the Torchwood Institute. Every floor above ground had been demolished, adding to the tangled mass of girders, concrete, and more than a few bodies. Emergency workers and heavy machines had dug through the rubble almost to the bunker entrance, and could hear the faint voices of trapped Torchwood employees. Harry, Beat, and Buster stood behind the police line, holding their breaths and wishing anxiously for Bitzi and Petula to be well.
Finally, several people in radiation suits were seen ascending the ladder. The first, upon reaching sunlight, pulled off her helmet to reveal the blond curls of Desirée. The second struggled a bit with her helmet, managed to unsnap it, and unveiled a familiar pair of horn-rimmed glasses and long ears.
"It's Mom!" cried Buster with joy.
"It's Bitzi!" Beat shouted in turn. An emergency worker came up after her, cradling Petula in his arm.
"Hello, dear," said Harry sheepishly as his wife approached him with a scowl.
"Don't hello me, Harry Mills," she said petulantly. "I want a divorce."
----
With the return of normalcy to Earth came the return of a familiar scourge, homework. Francine, lounging on her bed, had nearly finished a critical analysis of The Berenstain Bears in Too Much Caffeine when Jenna surprised her, rushing into the bedroom with eyes like bulbs. "Francine! Francine!" she exclaimed. "You won't believe who just appeared in the middle of the street!"
"Oh, let's see," said Francine, chewing thoughtfully on her pencil. "Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin and his army of the undead?"
"No," said Jenna excitedly. "Follow me."
The cat girl had always been a faster runner than Francine, and proved it yet again. Just as Francine feared she would lose sight of her guide, she saw them—the entire Crosswire family, wearing bizarre clothes and bickering on the sidewalk.
She pushed herself to run faster. "Muffy!" she cried out. "Muffy!"
"I can't believe you got us all deported!" Muffy snapped at her anxious-looking father. The girl still wore the optical fiber dress she had acquired in Elci Kahaf, and the real-time reflection of her face on its front was extremely indignant.
"Look, Muffin," said the car dealer, "it wasn't because of anything I did. The Orelob government knew all along that we weren't what we claimed to be, but it didn't act until the Yordil conspiracy was uncovered, and there was no more reason to extend our Provision Theta status."
"Blah blah blah," said Muffy peevishly. "This is why you sell cars instead of fixing them, Dad—because you can't fix anything."
"Muffy?" said Francine, trying to distract her friend from the argument.
"Oh, hi, Francine," said Muffy, glancing at her briefly. Turning to her mother, who held baby Tyson over her shoulder, she continued, "Mom, I've had it with small-town life. I want to live in a big metropolis, even if it's one on Earth. New York, maybe? Paris?"
"Muffy!" said Francine with more insistency.
"Not now, Francine," said Muffy sharply. "Big cities are full of car dealerships," she said to her father. "Just move in, put up a sign, and you're in business. What are you waiting for?"
Francine turned to Jenna and shrugged. "It's like I said—there's no reason to like her except for her money."
"Maybe you're right," Jenna acknowledged. Shaking their heads, the two girls wandered away and left the Crosswires to sort out their disagreements.
----
THE END
Will there be an Arthur Goes Fifth VIII? Only time will tell…