Chapter 36
I have to go to the hospital today to get a refill on my medications. I asked Emily if she could do it but, she said they needed me to do it. I get closer to the hospital and feel the tightness in my chest I always do. I head to the main desk I don't think I have to go to the psychiatric ward.
"May I help you?" The woman at the front desk asks
"Yes I need to fill a prescription" I say.
She smiles and I give them to her and her face hardens.
"I can't fill these you need to go to the psychiatric ward. I'm sure you know where that is." She says with an edge.
I roll my eyes I think I always knew this would happen. I feel the eyes glaring at me because I am going back here voluntary. The closer I get the louder the screams get. The louder the people getting tortured in Ward D. I don't know if it's in my head but, it sounds like the people are actually begging for death.
I see Mabel at the desk and smile. I have actually kept in touch with her, just over the phone because coming here just makes me want to vomit.
"I was expecting you yesterday Mr. Watt." She teases
"Well I was hoping I didn't need to come here."
"Well you do."
I hear a loud crash as the panic button goes off someone must be having an outburst and it's coming from Ward C. I know from experience that it is group therapy time. I wonder who is having an outburst.
"You need to go down the hall and they will fill these for you." Mabel smiles but, I can detect something else in her eyes for a brief moment almost worry.
"You can't do it?" I say disappointed.
"I don't have that authority." She smiles "Don't worry it will only be a few minutes." She says.
I head down the hall and my legs feel like concrete. I recognize the person behind the counter. They would force drugs down my throat. They aren't very nice.
"Mr. Watt you have problems again." She says
"No, I just need-" She rips the slips from my hands causing paper cuts to form.
I see an evil smile form on her lips
"Mr. Watt follow me."
"Oh, I don't think-"
She grabs my hand forcefully and bad memories come flooding back.
"Let go of me!" I can feel the old nurses looking over here "I'm not a patient anymore!" I shout.
She smiles
"Oh right you're not a patient anymore." She says and a shiver runs down my spine.
She takes me to a hallway that I have seen many times before but she keeps walking further and turns left down another hallway.
"Where are you taking me?" I ask confused.
I hear a loud bang and a scream. A scream that is so high pitched and filled with terror I don't want to believe it came from a human.
"Get comfortable Mr. Watt, I don't know how long this will be, the doctor is busy after all." She says and opens a door. I feel sick to my stomach when I see it. The room resembles the room I had therapy sessions with Stephanie in. It has the same the couch, desk, artwork. It is all the same. I get bad memories just from sitting down on the couch. But something about this room is different.
"What is it?" I ask aloud. I know it's not the same room but, all the hospital rooms look the same. The same furniture. The same clothes. And the same blah gray everywhere.
It hits me like a stack of bricks for why this room is different from the rest. This room isn't a blah gray. It's a dark evergreen. It's green.
"This must be the green room." I say with shock in my voice.
I have never been to the green and pink rooms but, all the patients know they exist most of the people who get taken to these rooms don't get to tell the tale about it.
The green room is where they take you to die. This is the room they kill people in. My skin starts to crawl I wonder how many patients have sat in this exact spot. I wonder how many people have died in this room.
I start to feel the blood drain from my face.
"I wonder if I'm next."
"What do you mean next?" The woman asks I thought she had left.
"Are you going to kill me?" I ask.
"Now why would you ask that?" She smiles evilly.
"You can't hold me against my will anymore."
"No, we can't but, we can make your lambs come to the killing floor." She smiles.
"Lambs? Kill floor?" I say confused.
"You were in here for awhile you met people maybe even considered some of these people friends. We can arrange something to happen to them." She says
"What so kill me or kill them?" I say with disgust.
"We aren't going to kill you. I know most of the patients here knows that is what happens in this room. But we can't touch you, even if you murdered someone we still couldn't touch you. It must he nice being fiends with President Snow."
"Then why threaten me?"
"Oh Dylan this place isn't just a place for the mentally ill it's an experiment we want to observe people. The truth is you never get out of here. Even when you do leave there's a part of you- a big part of you- that still lives here." She smiles
"I don't know what you're-
"You have any nightmares Dylan? A sense of déjà vu? You ever feel panicked? Or having drug withdrawal symptoms?"
"I…"
"Those are all from here Dylan. You killing twenty two people did help but the rest of the stuff fell into place on it's own." She smiles
I know this is true, I will never leave this room. I may have more freedom then I did before but, this place will always be with me and I will never leave. Just like I will never leave the arena. I always have the terrible memories.