The finale! Omg! Did anyone else tear up a little bit? I was an emotional wreck even more so than when Juice had his pie… Jesus… I knew it would go down like that though… just.. Damn. I will still continue writing even with the show at an end. There's just way too much to do with these characters. Maybe an Ellie fic in the making soon yeah?

Still following some canon here. I imply on a few canon things happening but don't delve into them, if I confuse you please just let me know.

Thank you for reviewing for me, I still to answer all of you :D :D

Chapter 36

Conversations with a devil…

My heels made a click clack sound against the floor as I walked into the isolation visitation room letting the door swing shut behind me with a buzz from whoever was watching on the cameras. I'd covered up as much as I could with my limited wardrobe considering I only had hooker wear and the couple pairs of jeans I had I needed for work. And laundry so wasn't on my list until Juice came home. Because he would be coming home. He would.

I paced a little bit waiting for the prisoner I was here to see to come into the room. I didn't have to wait long before I heard the buzz ringing in my ears again and then the devil himself sauntered in sans handcuffs and shackles with a surprised smile for me. "Well Janie, I wasn't expecting you to be here. Not for me anyway." Tully told me as the guard glanced between the two of us. "Its good. Handle it." He told him with a nod.

To me he said "Aren't you going to give your favorite 'uncle' a hug?"

I gave him a look before reluctantly wrapping my arms around him for a quick hug freezing when he said "They're shutting off the cameras."

"Why would they do that?" I asked him withdrawing to get a better look at the man I hadn't saw in so long.

"Not everyday a pretty girl comes to visit me." He kicked the chair out from underneath the table dropping down into it. "I can guess why you're here though."

"Juice." I slid down across from him leaning over the plastic table with my palms against each other, clicking my fake nails one each other.

Tully nodded giving me a hard look that made me feel like I was 8 and caught feeding his dogs cookies again. "Thought you were raised better than that shit. Its… disgusting."

Now I was being scolded like I was 8. "Its not disgusting. White cock is the same as brown." I snapped back at him with a glare. "I never bought into that race bullshit and you know it."

And I really hadn't. For years it'd been drilled into me what was 'right' and what was 'wrong' as far as dating or even friendship. When I'd turn 15 and had grown boobs my mom had pushed me towards the only available guy close to my age. Eric Darby. His father was a Nord which was a far cry from the ab but he'd been a supremacist so that was good enough for my parents.

To help their case, his dad also dealed crank and would float it to Eric if I asked for it for my parents. Usually it was for my mom for more so than my dad. Every time I'd even hint at breaking things off, she'd freak and guilt trip until I was convinced I had to stay with him for the good of our family.

"I know you didn't. That's what was wrong with you, kids now days don't realize how good they could have it if they just listened to old time values. Starting with staying with your own race. Especially when it comes to pussy brown bikers." Tully told me. "Now I know you didn't come here for a race lesson, so what do you want Janie?"

I squirmed around uncomfortable with the man I'd known for so long. It'd been a toss up of whether to play the helpless little girl or the sexy vixen as much as it'd disgusted me to even consider putting the moves on Ron Tulley. "I heard things. But I have to know you won't repeat anything I tell you, not to anyone. Please."

He nodded slowly with eyes that searched my mind without me even letting him in. "Go on then."

"I work for the MC. I reopened their parlor up two days ago and I was going upstairs when I heard them talking about Juice. They said.. They said he would do what they told him or you'd kill him. Why?"

His mouth curled into a smirk. "Why would I tell you anything? You didn't ask for anything in return if I didn't repeat what you had to say."

I sighed knowing this was going to be difficult. "They have his kutte. I saw it in their safe, but I asked Wendy and she said if Juice wasn't a member they would taken his tats. If that's true then why is he earning his kutte back in prison?"

"Shouldn't you be asking the MC these questions? In case you haven't noticed, I'm the head of the a.b.. Not the Sons of Anarchy." Tulley said with a little sigh. "Are you leaving anything out?"

"Yeah. They said they were getting you to do their dirty work for free." I knew that would spark his interest. "If he freezes and you kill him, you'd be doing them a favor for nothing."

"So, they think that Juice will freeze then huh?" He rubbed his chin in deep thought. "They told me Juice was a member with an old sin, I can't get into all of that but they also left out that they'd taken his kutte or I would have never…." he stopped himself from going any further.

I was getting antsy now. "So you're not going to actually do it then, are you?" I had to ask him.

Tully shrugged carelessly looking down at the table. "That depends. Why wouldn't I hold up my end of a deal I'd made with the MC?"

"Because they held out info on him. They didn't mention the kutte, you said that yourself." I felt the defeat setting in. "You're protecting him in here, aren't you? Keeping a maybe member alive for them? Wouldn't killing him be for nothing if they were lying?"

"I don't care if a wetback dies." He finally looked up meeting me in a straight on stare. "Do you?"

I slapped my hand down on the table getting a grin out of him. "Don't you dare be a jackass to me Tully. I took care of that pack of mutts for you every time you went inside. I used to clean your disgusting house, I thought you were the best damn thing ever until I grew up and realized what everything really was."

"Your boys a rat. He can't be trusted, its as easy as that." Tully leaned forwards, inches away from my face. "I don't know if you've noticed but he's a little off his rocker. Kid talks crazy shit and Jax said he does crazy shit too. Sometimes the herd could use thinning. You'll find another one, maybe a lighter skin color this time."

"Stop being like this." I hissed fighting the urge to slap the head of the Aryan brotherhood. "I know you can help me if you want to. I don't want him to die Uncle Ron." the sentiment slipped out before I could stop it. I clamped a hand over my mouth quickly, noticing the way he softened for a split second.

Tully reached over patting my arm. "What if he doesn't want to be saved?"

I wouldn't even let myself consider that; Juice had to want to be saved. He had to want to live, to see me outside of these walls again. "He doesn't want to die. Just don't hurt him, don't do it. For me. Please, I'll do anything."

"Anything?"

A sickening realization of what I could be promising him flashed through my mind but I nodded. I was making a deal with the devil. "Yes. Anything. I'd really rather not have sex with you in prison though if I have to be honest."

He looked offended, tilted his head to the side to give me a 'really?' look. "Don't be gross. As gorgeous of a woman as you've grown into be, I think I'd rather suck my own cock."

"What is it then?" I pressed him practically on top of the table to make sure I could hear him clearly.

"Your father, have you talked to him lately?" He asked me waiting for me to shake my head no. "I didn't think so since you're still breathing and everything. But Larry, he owes the a.b. money; a lot of money actually. About $3000. I need it back by the end of the week."

My stomach plummeted at the amount. "He doesn't have that kind of money Tully, we both know it."

"I know that. But if you could bring me the cash, it'll still pan out. So you give me the money, and I give you Juice." He bargained with me easily.

"Was it for drugs?" I asked him interrupting but I had to know. "I don't know where to even start getting that kind of cash."

"Nah, nothing like that. For that last surgery he had. If it were a loan from me, I wouldn't worry about it. But this was the brotherhood's cash and they want to collect. I've been holdin them off but I can't let it slide or they'll all want to slide. So I need that cash back before I can make you promises about Juice." Tully pulled his phone out of his pocket flipping through the calendar dates. "Juice has his little task to complete on Friday. Today's Wednesday."

I nodded taking a deep breath letting my still blonde hair shake forwards. "I don't know where I'm going to get it, but I'll figure it out. If I bring it to you, you won't kill him. Promise me Tully, you've never lied to me before so don't start today."

"Bring me the cash, and I won't kill Juice. You have my word."

SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA

Money, cash, greenbacks, change, dough, I needed all of it after I left the prison and got back into Lyla's car headed for home. I pondered it the entire time I drove back to Charming. Where would I get that much money from?

It didn't hit me until I stepped across the threshold of Juice's house exactly where I could find 3grand just laying around. Juice had money. Juice had a lot of money apparently. I'd been finding it in odd places since he'd left and I knew there had to be even more of it. Plus, he'd told me if I needed cash while he was gone to just ask Bobby and he'd give me an advance from his own earnings with the club.

I went for the coffee can first, then the dresser drawers, the shoes that he had lined up in the closet. There was money stuffed into all of these places. I sat down counting it out then got up searching for more. I had to have more money.

Was this considered stealing? Was I proving every last person that had doubted me right by doing this? Should I have even asked first? I kept going back to the same thoughts as I plundered through his things leaving the house a mess behind me. I didn't care. I needed to save him. I had to save him. Save Juice was all I could process.

I was a woman possessed once I did have the money in hand three hours later. My hair was sticking up at odd angles and I had lit a joint I'd found in what had to have been his weed stash in the bathroom cabinet. Weed with a roll of twenties.

"God dammit Juice. I don't even know you and I'm scared to death." I said softly walking through his room. "I do know you, but not like I should. Like I want to. I never thought I'd miss you this bad or be so afraid to lose what I don't even know if I have."

I'd came so close to saying it to Fiasco a few days ago and I'd stopped myself. I hadn't thought I should even be having those thoughts about Juice but now t hat it looked like he'd be the one on the end of that reaper pole, it was plain and clear. I loved Juice Ortiz.

SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA

Juice's POV

Thursday afternoon and I was spending it trying to sleep on my too little bed in my wife beater and ugly orange pants since it was laundry day and they'd taken my blue getup. Shit, I'd been here long enough for 3 laundry days that happened once a week except for the second week of the month when they did double wash to clean our towels and bedding. I'd memorized the prison schedule.

And I'd memorized every crack in the wall along with how many minutes it took for the guard to walk down to my cell after his last checkup. Cause I was a violent criminal and might bust out at any time. Yeah fucking right.

I didn't even feel like I could roll over to pick up the poetry book that Tully had brought me after it'd fallen to the floor. I'd been reduced to reading love sonnets and chewing a million pieces of gum that I was pretty sure would rot my teeth out if I didn't get the fuck out of here. I fucking wanted out. I was losing my mind. Did I have a mind anymore?

Was this what crazy really was? This not sleeping, not eating, being raped thing had to be what happened when you went nuts. The combination could have been what was causing said craziness. I could deal with the not eating and sleeping shit; that was a normal thing in the club. But the rape shit…. It took a little piece of my manhood each time it happened.

It was something I'd tried to block out and couldn't. I'd always sympathized for rape victims and now that I was one… I could understand why they didn't want anyone to know. I wanted to crawl under my bed just knowing that Jax knew. What if he told? God… what if Lindsey knew?

That had to be one of the main things nagging me right now. What if my girl found out her man wasn't even a man anymore? That I couldn't even stop shit from happening to myself, much less her? What in the hell had I been thinking declaring that I wanted her?

Want and need were two way different things. I wanted to go home. I needed out of jail. I wanted to tell Jax the truth. I needed to keep my damn mouth shut. I needed forgiveness, no more lies. No more. No fuck that. I was going to lie through my teeth from now on if it suited me. I couldn't even keep my thoughts straight.

"You got a visitor today." The female guard told me as she approached my cell. I hadn't even heard her open the protective door I was so lost in my own thinking.

"I don't want to see anyone."

"Well too bad. Get up and get out of there." She smirked putting her hands on her hips.

I glared back at her. She'd been on my nerves since shift change. "Fuckin bitch." I muttered grabbing for my slippers since I'd taken to wearing minimal clothing. Made the raping much easier.

"Excuse you?" She was opening the door up with a steely gaze, another guard a few feet away just in case I tried anything.

I smirked back at her stuffing my feet into the shoes. "Was I talking to you, fat ass Oprah?"

She started to lunge forwards but the other guard grabbed her shaking his head. "Ignore him. He's been talking shit for a week."

I gave them both a shitty expression before holding my wrists out to be cuffed. "Whose the visitor? I thought visiting days were on Saturdays."

"They are. Except for when there's five weeks in a month. Then its Thursday." The male guard explained snapping the cuffs on as tightly as he could get them to the satisfaction of the other one. "Get to moving Ortiz. Unlike Tully, we don't think you're cute and we don't want to look at you all day."

As much as I wanted to swing my thick metal cuffs across the back of his head, I gave myself a lot of credit for keeping silent and obedient during the entire walk to the main visiting area. People were already there with their families, children, friends. I scanned the room looking for who'd come to see me.

It was her again. I knew I should have been happier to see her than I was, but I wasn't. In fact, my blood boiled when I looked her up and down as I was being unchained a few feet away. She hadn't listened when I told her not to come back. She damn sure hadn't listened to my request for her to cover herself up. Jeans that were a second skin, and a top cut so low I knew without even touching her that there wasn't a bra on underneath. And people were looking.

Lindsey lurched forwards the seconds the guards backed away from me, smiling up at me when she wrapped her arms around me. "I missed you."

I stiffened under her touch, her hands were on my lower back for just a pause but long enough to remind me of someone else's hands holding me down in the same spot. "Yeah? Is that why you came after I asked you not to?"

She hesitated but nodded. Her blonde curls bounced with the motion and that made me even crabbier. "I thought maybe you'd be in a better mood this time around."

"I'm not. Especially not now that I see what you look like." It came out in a snarl and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Why'd you come back?"

"So you don't want to see me again." Lindsey said softly going to sit down across from me.

"Not really no. I sure as hell don't want to see you dressed like that." I told her honestly keeping my hands at my sides, not wanting to hold her hands.

"I came to talk to you about something too. I was going upstairs to take Bobby and Jax my-"

I cut her off with a hand held up. "Whoa… you're supposed to be staying away from them. Not fucking carrying on conversations. I thought I told you that too."

"Well you did but I work at the parlor and-"

"And nothing. Stay away from them. Don't trust them. Don't talk to them. And don't come back here either. Not like that."

Lindsey's cheeks were budding with pink spots, a mixture of embarrassment and shame. Her head hung slightly. "Just say it Juice. You don't want to be seen with me."

I nodded in agreement knowing I was being a jackass. "Okay. I don't want to be seen with you. Try covering your tits for once in your life. Buy something else to wear, Jesus Christ."

"So you think I look like a whore." Lindsey snapped back pulling her purse towards herself like a shield. "Is that it?"

"No, that's not it." I sighed rubbing my temples. My eyes were stinging from not sleeping. I was so tired. "I just don't you inside of here, not like that. Not in a burka."

"Just answer me this, and then I'll leave you alone Juice, I swear to god." She swiped a single tear away from her cheek with her index finger. "Am I sitting at your house for nothing? Because right now it feels like I am. And I'm going crazy without you and I.. I didn't know it could even be like this with you."

I studied her a bit better. She had circles underneath her eyes that she'd tried to hide with make up and it was suddenly clear that I wasn't the only one suffering here. "Like what?"

"Like this. Like I can't think about anything but you. And what we're going to do when you get home. And that I.. I just didn't know and its confusing me because I don't know if you're feeling it too." She whispered just barely audible. "Like I'd do anything for you."

I leaned closer slowly not wanting to spook her and spoke lowly. "Yes." I knew without even asking her what she meant. "Yes Lindsey but I can't do anything about it right now. I can't worry about you right now. I have to try to get myself out of this hole I dug. I did this, not you. And I know I'm being a dick but you have to leave."

She nodded standing up, our visit was over before it'd even been ten minutes. "You're right. You are being a dick."

SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA

Friday morning came after a night of no sleep, rambling, and general all around crazy ass behavior. The craziest thing I did however, was when the same male guard from all of the other days came to get me with a nod. And I did it. I stabbed him to death without a single flinch or regret.

He tried to kill Lindsey, he killed all of those girls. Hell, we'd killed a few of theirs guys but not their women. I pulled the fresh shirt over my head staring at the pool of dark red, almost black blood flowing into a puddle beside Henry Lin's lifeless body. A rat flushing out a rat. It almost made me smile.

Being someone's bitch again even if it felt satisfying. I grabbed the phone up from where I'd propped it during our little conversation and dialed the familiar number letting it ring until Jax picked up. "Yeah?"

"Its done." I said shakier than I'd meant to and prayed he didn't noticed. "It was clean and I'll forward you the video of everything else."

"See you soon….brother." Then he hung up leaving me to comprehend what he'd said without even saying more than five words during our conversation.

He'd called me 'brother' and he hadn't done that in months. Not since he'd found out the truth about me. My heart swelled inside of my chest as I replayed it over and over in my mind. Brother. I was back in. I was a full fledged member once more, I could have my kutte back. I'd done everything they asked. And I hadn't given up anymore of my own secrets.

I didn't plan to either, not after another nights thinking. The truth had just died with Henry Lin, he'd never be able to deny killing Tara now. There was no reason to dig out the weeds in Gemma's garden so to speak. Everything was going to be great now.

SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA

"I'm not… gay." I reminded myself again peeking out of the miniscule window by standing on top of the bed in my sock covered feet. "I just… I don't think I want to die."

Why not? You wanted to before… you keep changing your mind.

"I don't know. I kinda think I could have everything now. The club. A girl. Maybe a family one day." There were lights popping out across the prison yard where the guard stands were at, ready to pop us off if we made a run for it. No running for me, I'd be home soon. It'd only taken a month of jail time.

If she's there, you were a jackass to her. What makes you so sure she's into that?

I shrugged pressing myself against the cold concrete to see if I could get a better look out. "She hasn't left yet. And.. I'm pretty sure she was trying to tell me she loved me the other day."

Nobody loves you. Not even your own mother.

"My club loves me." I interjected with a scowl down at my chest. "I'm in again. I want my kutte back and to have a welcome home party."

They love you until you fuck up again Ortiz. Don't fool yourself.

"Fuck off. I'm good with everyone again. I haven't even taken it up the ass since Lin." Which was true, Tully had backed off afterwards only coming by to get his phone back.

"Stop talking." Oprah's voice ordered me unlocking my door. "Dinner time you jackass."

I scowled back at her jumping off of the bed and grabbing my shoes. "Shouldn't you be on set filming?"

"Filming? What the hell are you talking about?" She grabbed me by the back of the shirt jerking me closer to cuff me.

"Yeah filming your next Tyler Perry movie. Madea right? I see the resem-shit!" The crack of her baton against the side of my face stopped me in my smart ass remarks.

She gave me a smile before shoving me hard in the back. "Start walking before I see the need to strike you again Ricky Ricardo."

Oh so now she was making jokes back. I walked at a snails' pace smirking the entire time just to add to her annoyance until we made it to the cafeteria with everyone else. The Chinese definitely were to be avoided today. I could see the glares and a few of them nodding towards me. Word was out.

I went through the motions grabbing my tray, then headed over to the a.b table where everyone looked entirely too friendly. "Can we talk… alone?"

Tully shrugged motioning for his guys to get up. "You look like shit."

"Yeah well, sometimes you need a little slap to keep you going apparently." I was getting nervous now. "But look.. I need to ask you something."

"Ask. Doesn't mean you'll get it, whatever it is."

"Don't tell Lindsey, or anyone about…" I lifted my eyebrows at him knowing he'd get what I was implying.

Tully smirked back messing with his own slab of greasy lasagna. "Scared she'll leave you huh? Doesn't belong with you anyways, we both know that. Anything else?"

" Nope. I'm out in two days." I told him opening up my milk carton. "Thanks.. For telling Jax I did good."

"Don't thank me just yet." Something about the way he said with a gleam in his dark eyes made the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I picked up my spork to eat. He motioned for his guys to come to the table with him. "Maybe you should handle the rest of the shit you stirred up."

I reached down into my shoe, pulling the shiv out slowly so that he would know what I was doing. I wrapped it in the napkin before sliding it across the table towards him. "I will. Everyone has to pay for what they do."

Tully nodded keeping the shiv underneath his palm watching me silently as the others sat down around us.

"Just let me finish my pie." I lifted the spork up getting a huge bite of the cherry pie on the end of it.

I ate it slowly, thinking about what was about to happen. I could die. I could live. The Chinese would get me either inside or outside of jail. If they got me outside it'd be a quick bullet. Inside it'd be a beat down unless someone had something to stab me with and I was betting that was a no since Tully was running things around here and he was on the MC'S side. I pushed my tray away after the last bite, nodding at him. Then it went down.

All at once the a.b. was up and punching the Chinese just a few feet away to my shock. I'd been supposed to do that alone. But when I took a step forwards to own up to my sins I was held back by Tully's arms wrapping around my chest. "You can thank your MC for this. I don't like being lied to. And you can thank Lindsey for begging me not to kill you." Then the stabs of pain were blinding and white hot.

"Holy shit." I gasped out as the shiv went through my back. I could feel the warm sticky blood dripping down my body as he withdrew and then stabbed again. My knees went out, dropping me to the floor and then Tully was gone while I bled out choking and coughing as the sirens went off around us.

I kept my eyes wide open as I lay there unable to do anything as the chaos went on around me. Lindsey. The MC….. My last piece of pie….

To be continued…