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Chapter #36: Pandora's box

Me: What is worse Ana to have a friend who is tough and brutally honest or be mellow?

Ana: Umm I don't know. Can't you have both?

Me: That is the right answer. You can't be too brutal, too honest, you have to know how to approach people and let your friends know you are going to be there for them, otherwise you might as well be mum and dad.

Ana: Why do some people then hurt others with the 'truth'?

Me: Easy, to hurt. There are ways to make your friend understand something is not going well, but when you are too brutal and too angry about it, it can only mean something is wrong with you. Friends are there to help you cope, to tell you the truth in a way it does not destroy you. They are only harsh when the moment requires it to be.

~Me and my best friend last year on random stuff.


1558, November 3rd

Westminster:

Annie's fingertips walked over Philip's back. Philipa' tiptoeing was perfect not to wake him.

"What is it?" Annie hissed, slightly nervous and ashamed her friend saw her like this.

Philippa threw a nervous glance to her friend, Annie realized this was something terrible that needed her attention.

"What happened?" Her tone changed.

"Annie. It s your sister she suffered a stroke"

Annie's bulged like two big saucer bowls. "What?"

Philip turned on his backside and sunk his head in his pillow to shut the noise from the bedroom.

Annie got up from the bed and put on her nightgown, Philippa all the meanwhile looking down.

She looked up when Annie finished dressing and escorted her into the parlor where they made sure the rooms to her chambers were locked.

Once they were Annie turned to her friend and asked in a hushed voice "When did this happen?"

It seemed odd, her sister was fine yesterday but then she remembered Alexei and what Philip said of his plot to get rid of his wife and children for her ... Oh god no, don't let it be. Please. She begged.

Pippa sniffed. She had no feelings of friendship with the old wretch. She had been one of Mary's brood and therefore her enemy and her mistress'. But she was sympathetic to her pain.

"Her Grace was found on the carpet clutching for her life. The Russian Ambassador found her and called all the physicians, when His Grace, her husband got there, it was too late"

Annie lowered her eyes in mourning for her lost sister.

She looked up and met her lady in waiting's eyes, hardening her gaze. This was NOT the time to be sad. She was going to leave for Spain tomorrow. This was a glorious occasion to look forward to. She was only sorry that her sister wouldn't be there to see it.

"Prepare for the funeral. Inform His Grace that arrangements shall be left entirely to him" That would quiet auspicious rumors, if there were any, that the Duchess' death had been by other means."

"What will the courtiers say?"

"Let the courtiers say what they wish." I could care less.

Raising from her seat Pippa gave a farewell curtsy to her mistress and left.

Annie opened the doors to her bedchamber. Their bedchamber. She couldn't wait to have their own bed.

Philip woke to the sound of her lips on his ear. He could smell the heavy scent of her perfume. God, how she smelled! It was so delicious. Men had to be stupid not to notice her!

"My love" He said rolling over to greet her with a smile.

"Having fun with my tongue My Lord?" She said giggling.

He chuckled. In a seductive tone he replied "I would have more fun if you did not keep things from mi mi amor"

She blinked. How could he possibly know? -was the question racing through her mind.

He kissed her brow and formed a trail of kisses to her neck, his hard lips suckling her skin. She moaned.

"You know how I hate not being told what my wife converses behind my back" He said coming up.

"My Lord is too picky and so wrong. I am not your wife yet"

"Oh but you will be and you would do better than to keep secrets from me Annie"

"How?" Was all she could think of, as there was no way that he could have known before her.

"You my love. You should really keep your voice down." Annie clicked her lips. Damn, she thought. He roared with laughter caressing her cheek with her fingertips. "Oh sweetheart, my proud, proud Queen Dowager, was Diana's interruption not lesson enough to you that I am never fully asleep?"

"I did not know my husband was inhuman" She said with mock horror "I spoke in hushed voices. Not even the King of Spain has ears outside of this room" She said coyly.

"No but I have legs and I only needed one ear at the door and sweetheart you need to lie better to your husband, your lips make that clicking noise when you are lying"

"I am not sure I want to play this game anymore" She said pulling away from him.

He cackled and got up wrapping the bed sheets around his waist, going to her. He pushed her back to him. This love was driving them both mad, the necessity to be together was overwhelming but he had no desire to tell her he had been awake all night, pretending to sleep, unable to because of the nightmare. Since she mentioned the possibility of dying in childbirth, he was left uneasy.

He did not Know what he would do if he lost her. Not like Maria Manuela. He had lost his childhood Princess once and was forced to leave his teenage sweetheart, Isabel Osorio, behind. He would not loose Annie. But he remembered that he must not renegade if he did for it would be God's will and who was he to go against God's will?

Annie gave a frustrated sigh. "You are impossible Philip let me go. I have to prepare to give my condolences to His Grace"

"His Grace can wait. We should leave him to his mourning and carry on where we left on shall we?"

He let her go and she wheeled around to face him.

"My Lord it would be very ungracious from my part if I did not offer my condolences after all, close or not, Isabella was my sister"

"Half-sister" he corrected "but I understand, it is nothing personal only business"

"Right on the spot Your Majesty, My Lord now if you will I have to change"

Philip got on his toes and raised himself inches enough to kiss her lips and then left, tip toeing, quieter than she'd been with his loyal bodyguard and courtier -Ruy Gomez, to avoid a scandal.

Annie allowed to stretch her legs in the throne room before she went to receive petitions, the last ever, from her subjects.


The day passed on really quick. Much sooner than she'd expected she found herself in Alexei's quarters, his look was one of genuine sadness. She wondered what had been going through his mind when he saw his wife sprawled on his wife, pleading with the heavens for her life, gaggles of blood in her mouth.

Just what were you thinking? She wanted to ask but did not have the courage to. Even after all these years he still managed to arouse her the darkest of feelings. It was not the same with Philip where her body responded with animal passion and was filled with renewed vitality even after a full day of sex. With Edward it was more affection and naughtiness, a playful naughtiness where they would talk about their sexual encounters with their friends but it never went beyond that.

Alexe it was the opposite. When she was with him she felt absolutely nothing. Nothing ... it was like this huge whole had been pierced in her soul and the only emotions that would come out when summoned would be deception, tragedy, dismay, and rage for preferring the company whores above her sister's and abandoning his children.

He was not the Alexei she grew up with. I guess I knew. She had. When he came from Russia he'd come a different man. Court and no doubt his father's Royal family had changed him. She thought she loved him. How wrong he was. Who could ever love a man who disregarded his wife so easily?

"Your Majesty"

"Your Grace" Said Annie in return with a stronger and more graceful bow than Alexei's.

"I come here to express my sympathies and offer you any support you may need for your loss. Her Grace was a great woman, she will be sorely missed."

She wondered how her mother had taken the news? Had she cried, sprawled on the floor, and screamed obscenities like when Henry had died?

She shook herself mentally.

Her mother only loved two people, Kitty and Diana, and both would soon be out of her reach. Thank God.

Alexei sniffed.

Annie raised an eyebrow. She had not expected this.

Alexei read her mind and shook his head "I never had a chance to tell her how much I loved her. If I had the chance to do it all again I would tell her how much I appreciate her"

He broke off hearing Annie's scoff.

"Does Your Majesty have so little regard for my wife? She was your sister Annie and I am sorry if I was not there for her like you pushed me to but ... but I had other things in mind"

"Ah yes your whores. They do keep a man away from his wife don't they?"

His eyes narrowed, glaring dangerously at her. "Your Majesty should be mindful of her words! My wife has just died!"

"No your married partner has just died. The mother of your children Alexei has just died and call me Annie again and I will have my guards escort you out of my palace or do you forget who are you talking about?" She asked coldly, her eyes narrowing as well, shooting daggers at Alexei.

How could this be the little girl he used to be in love with? The little girl he and his mother used to look after?

"What happened to that little girl?" He asked "What happened to little Annie who was never this cold or arrogant?"

"She is gone Your Grace, she grew up just as you should. Your wife was DEVOTED to you. Do you read that? She was DEVOTED to you. And you spit at that devotion just as our grandfather spit at our grandmother for not giving her a son! What more did you need of her? She gave you three sons! It was not her fault that your firstborn died!" She advanced to him. She raised her arm, pointing a guilty finger at his chest "She blamed herself for that did you know that?"

"What do you want me to say? What do you want of me An- I mean Your Majesty? What? I did everything for you. You were supposed to be mine, we were supposed to be together but come along a spider, your husband and he separated us. He paired me with your sister. What was I supposed to do?" He pushed her finger from his chest and dared to take a step and pull his lips closer to hers but she did not let him.

He did not see the slap coming his way.

He rubbed his stung cheek and looked at her.

"Don't give me that look, you knew it was coming when you tried to kiss me. I don't love you when are you going to get that through your head?"

"I was there for you after your mother caused your fall-"

"What do you mean caused my fall? I fell Alexei. Get over that. You were paranoid you were always paranoid!"

Unknown to them Philip was outside listening intently to their conversation, Ruy with him and other aides, preparing to intervene if the Duke took it to the extreme.

"Oh Annie you don't understand you might have forgotten your mother and your father refuses to tell you but your mother pushed you Annie. I questioned Lady Susan, me and your father both and she told us. Hit her! Hit her! Was what your mother told Philip of Bavaria- to make it look like an accident"

Suddenly memories of her fall came crashing down on her. It was whirl tunnel of memories, flashes, distorted images that suddenly became clear and she saw her mother. Her hand extending out to her for help but her mother refused it with a roaring cackle.

She clutched both sides of her head.

"Hit her so it will look like an accident. Bon voyage Annie"

Annie wrapped her hands in her stomach and braced herself for the torture coming her way at her "father's" hands.

Annie awoke from her nightmare and looked at Alexei. They were no longer alone. Philip and Ruy and their aides had come.

"No..." she whispered at first and then she began to yell "No! No!"

"Annie ... Annie" Philip said coming to her, shushing her. "It's all right, it's all right I am here. None of that is real. It's over. She can't harm you anymore"

"You knew?"

Philip locked his gaze with her. He said nothing.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why?"

"Because he could not endanger the alliance, Annie don't you see they care less for you. I am here for you ... please Annie, give me the chance"

"You have done enough harm to Her Majesty already Your Grace" Interrupted Philip turning to Alexei. "We may leave this place now"

"Annie, you are the Queen Dowager, are you going to let him take over your son's kingdom. Annie please let me help you" He said extending his hand towards her.

Annie cleared her throat. She swallowed her saliva. "We are laving Alexei, you will never see me again. As your friend this is my last warning and tend to your children. They need their father, be a father for once" She said gravely, hating herself for being so rude to her friend but Alexei needed a crash course in reality to grow up.

Alexei nodded. As they left he cursed himself for being the cause of her pain.

Philip soothed her on their way to the bedchamber. Ruy and the rest left the King and Queen.

Philip had never seen Annie break down so easily. He wanted to go back to that Duke's chambers and punch his lights out. How dare he? The gall of that man. He was like a child. God in all his wisdom had seen it fit to call Lady Isabella to heaven. He knew that the poor Lady did not deserve a husband like that.

He rubbed her back and started singing her an old Portuguese song that his former nanny Leonor, sang to him as a child.

She looked up. "That was ... b-beautiful" She said slowly, her voice was meek.

She still could not believe that her mother had done THAT.

William ... Margaret ... Oh God.

She made for the door but Philip stopped her and convinced her to remain seated. "Philip I have to go to Margaret. What if that woman does that to her?" Oh God. "What have I ever done to that woman to hate me so?" She spoke her thoughts aloud.

"Nothing, you must not blame yourself Annie. Your mother is an angry woman."

"I need to go to Margaret. Margaret!"

"Annie please calm yourself! You are going to get nowhere like this!"

"Unhand me Philip! I need to see Margaret" Oh God her baby, her baby Margaret. She could not bear the thought of that woman doing something to her little daughter.

But it had been so easy for her to contemplate murdering her mother and her unborn grandchildren. What was to say she would not kill her baby?

No! She had to see her baby!

"Philip let me see her! Please Philip she is my child. I need to protect her!"

"Annie!" Philip cried. Softening his grip and letting go partially of her. He sighed "Please I promise we will see your daughter but you have to calm down, even your mother with all her deviousness would not be so foolish as to do something. Not when she needs royal favor desperate. In the worst case scenario she would use Margaret as a puppet as she intended with Diana"

"That is why I have to go to her! Philip lets take her to Spain, she could live with Diana, we could raise her together ..."

"Annie no!" He shouted. "Put an end to this madness. I have already agreed to take Diana and adopt her as my own, you have no idea, maybe you do but still, how many favors I had to grant to old grouchy courtiers and misers to get this passed"

"Margaret is my daughter she needs me"

"I know" Philip softened his voice. "But your son needs you as well but you are letting him grow on his own because you know his responsibilities as King of England when he comes of age. You have your father as Lord Protector. The Governorship of Margaret is temporary."

"What makes you so sure?" She demanded, her eyes accusing him of uncaring.

Quite the contrary, they responded. I care and I will always care but they could not have four people in a marriage. They were taking care of Diana and he had given more than he'd bargained for in this alliance than needed. Annie should, at the very least be grateful. But his heart let him see how weak His Grace's revelation. He needed to thread carefully to not further disturb her state of mind.

"Because she is your daughter and if she is anything like Diana who I might add your mother also served, than we will not have to fear anything" He said with a chuckle, the image of Margaret growing into a perfect of Annie came to mind.

Annie shared his laughter. She did take after her. Diana had been all Seymour save for her eyes, but Margaret was all Tudor and Chapuys. The best things could be expected from her little Princess.

Philip was right there was no need to worry about. But still ...

"Wi-will" she was almost afraid to ask "I-I visit her?"

Philip was about to say no but her eyes were sad and pleading. "Yes" he finally said. "You will and she will meet our children when they are of age to travel. But Annie you have to understand it could be a while before you come"

She nodded "I understand but as long as you promise me someday I might, that is enough"

He kissed her brow and took of their clothes and spent their last day together in England. Tomorrow she would go towards her new destiny. She briefly wondered about Katherine of Aragon, that obscure figure her father had told her so much about. Had she felt the same, worry, pride, happiness, enchantment, terror when she arrived to a new land?

She pushed these emotions from her being. Her heart was set on the right direction. She and Philip would live happily together, not because she believed in fairy tales, but because deep inside she had come to know Philip like no other woman had. And she was going to be the one, despite everything, his infidelities, his religion, his straying, his brutality to have his heart in her safe keeping.

No woman would come between them. Unlike her grandmother she would not let her. With this she closed her eyes and enjoyed a dreamless sleep.